#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

an-theduckin · 8 months ago

Text

Wait shit people might actually care about me

#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw #hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha #but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit #texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text #cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that #i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone #i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that #i thought theyd just be indifferent to it #also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears #and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me #ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way #i saw myself #really and truly i love you guys so much #even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock #anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better #life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now #at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity #thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao #tw vent #tw sui implied #tw sui ideation #tw self loathing #tw self destructive behavior #<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore #if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd #love youu <33

8 notes · View notes

ciderjacks · 6 months ago

Text

despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,

theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.

#dungeon meshi #chilaios #OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to #He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but #He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense #Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck #That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios #And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him #and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios #Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid #Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him #I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything #He clearly does #But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t #And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin #I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back #Like sort of a reversed thing #AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either #But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin #She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise #Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario #Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were

1K notes · View notes

glassfag · 1 month ago

Text

trying to relax by writing some tomarry except i think about the political system and economy of the wizarding world for more than three seconds and start spiraling and have no option but to open a new googledoc and start writing the lamest rant-thesis about fictional politics ever.

#it actually makes me insane its not even funny #basically wizards live under a puppet regime and have no democracy whatsoever #imagine being literally taken a way to a magical world from yr awful orphanage only to realize its got #the most fucked nonsensical political system ever #id become worse than tom riddle actually #ik ik its because jkr didnt care enough about worldbuilding #and canon itself is often left (purposefully?) vague but the implications...#also fanon but i dont blame anyone like literally the best i can come up with while working with and not against canon is like...#this muggle-pureblood alliance that essentially controls all of the wizarding world #thats extrapolated from some pretty unpopular assumptions that i never see brought up in fic but i think canonically it makes sense?#idfk man #i just needed to talk about this

10 notes · View notes

saturnsfather · 2 months ago

Text

the thing about mouthwashing is things only could have turned out different if they were different people. and unfortunately they could only all be who they always were. and none of it was enough to stop it all from happening. the point is that nothing could have stopped the events of the game from happening. that is what makes it a tragedy. they were always going to end up here. he was always going to end up alone, scared, in pain, and fully equipped with the knowledge that even if there came a time he wasnt alone again, to the people who found him, he was Completely And Utterly Expendable.

#mouthwashing #AAGGHHH THE END OF THAT GAME MAKES ME INSANE DUDE!!!#‘I FIXED IT’ YOU DIDNT DO SHIT!! YOU DIDNT SAVE HIM!!! YOURE A FUCKING COWARD!!!!!!!#ON THE OFF CHANCE ANYONE EVEN CARES ENOUGH TO SEND SOMEONE OUT AFTER THE CREW OF THE TULPAE #AND ON THE OFF CHANCE THEY FIND THE WRECKED SHIP AND ARE ABLE TO GET INSIDE #DO YOU THINK THEYRE EVEN GONNA BREAK CURLY OUT OF CRYO?? WHY WOULD THEY??? HES BASICALLY A LIMBLESS CORPSE!!!#ITS PONY EXPRESS DOG #i dont know. I DONT KNOW. ITS FUCKED!

15 notes · View notes

her-canine-teeth · 9 months ago

Text

bad astrology by flower face

#yellowjackets #jackieshauna #ITS DONE OMG ITS FINISHED #what do I do now. with my life (ranking)#also ive decided i am gonna do literary analysis. on all of em #literally i have NO idea if anyone cares. well. i do bc I care and tbh that's enough to me #<- guys look im living so healthy #anyways this was a blast #hope somebody has at least discovered flower face trhu me bc its one of my fav artists #mitos incredible life #mine art tag #also im sorry the like long scenes 3 and 4 arent on beat :/ i love that song but it has so long instrumental stuff and idk what to do there #ALSO!! i had it all planned out like at least half in my docs (like always)#and then in the middle i was like 'omg what if I only show jackie-after-the-argument and shauna-after-jackies-dead'#(excluding the argument and the flashbacks (they used to hear us thru the floor))#which was. restricting. very much #also meaning was changed (originally wanted jackie to have the line 'idc if ure not made for me' but the only scene i could think of was th #ure hungry for and that was the next scene already so.)#anyways this was originally gonna be lottienat before i started with The Shark In Your Water #bc I thiught it fit them SO well. (still do) but now I like have to get away from the jackieshauna thought and then ill do the lottienat #probably #omg also I want everyone (who has read this far. whoever would do that) to know i was running on like 25 screen #recordings and 3 jackieshauna scene packs form yt #that's why. I dknt have that many clips alright im not using like 10 scenes over n over on purpose #gotta go but im gonna make a wrap post thingy once im back slay #no actually I get like average 7 notes (<- that's a lie Idk bc I didnt count) but im proud of myself this is amazing #ive wanted to do smth similiar alr #but it was some album by alec benjamin and a different thing for every song (like a poem‚ a painting or a play)#but I lost motivation this is the first thing that i actually pulled though all the way I think #jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water

15 notes · View notes

thetimelordbatgirl · 4 months ago

Text

New school attendance rules (that are stupid as fuck) being published has me learning people didn't even know that the UK fines people for their kids not being in school unauthorized???

#i...i....yeah to anyone who didnt know #we do #this country is obsessed with school attendance #if its not authorized your fucked #hell even if authorized aka your carer did phone for you and shit #depending how many you have it can stack up and they'll get sus #and you'll get in trouble even then #like the new rules alone are increasingly making it clear if your not authorized you can get bankrupt depending how many kids you have #which yes makes the new rules abelist as fuck and also only rich people will survive it #hell if the schools cant fine you they'll at least make you feel shame #as my school had a form system where at the end of each term a form will be rewarded for the best attendance #so rip if you were the fucker that took i dunno one or two days off for sickness or whatever #because you just costed your form room the award and the classmates know it and will look at you #source: me who had to take sick days off #hell snow days you wont free at my school #my roads and pathways were iced so i couldnt go in #but noooo according to my head of year i should have tried cause he hunted all of us who took the day off and interograted us #and if our excuse wasnt good enough for him we were told off #and they'd literally encourage you to only take sick day off if your throwing up #my head of year literally said he dont care if we got a headache or small cough or sniffle just come in #...huh wonder how they did during 2020...#but yeah attendance in the UK in terms of schools is fucking strict #(also if your curious they did send us home if we were bad-bad #i got sent home once i think??? i dont recall much of that school for my own sanity #but i badly burnt my hand in DT via a soldering iron and i had to go home and the doctors and return to school #with a hand i couldnt write with which was my writing hand so um #yeah i couldnt work much until it recovered...well my english teacher forced me to write with my non-writing hand but #and one girl got sent home for throwing up on the stairs #and another from my limited memories for falling down the stairs which uh were stone in a way so um #(i fell up those stairs somehow once...didnt get sent home but i missed english so) they had no choices sometimes)

7 notes · View notes

leenfiend · 1 year ago

Text

It’s me!!!!! hi

#im posting twice today bc this isn’t something anyone but me cares about anyway #but i always wanted to do a meet the artist but didnt think i drew enough #i am begging any and all other klance artists on here to do these it was so fun #meet the artist #erm - being known am i right fellas #my art #colleen thoughts #about

54 notes · View notes

chisungie · 5 months ago

Text

aAAAA I GOT IT <3 and right before getting her mission video tape at lv 40 😭 shes so cuteeee!!

#nicoles is so pretty but nekomataa 🥺 fave fave fave <3 #i considered using nicoles instead but nekomatas so cute and i worked hard for it so ill keep hers 🥺#and her last frienship event/cutscene thing for the lv up is so cute 😭 ill take good care of u i promiseeee!!!!#zzz #zenless zone zero #nekomiya mana #nekomata #i also literally just got lv 39 through that so @_@#anyway not too big on getting anyone elses screens after getting my top3.. wanna pull for zhu yuan and see if i get her out of luck #oooor... lose the 50/50 and get like.. well everyones p interesting to me rn i think. except maybe the girls we didnt meet for long enough #but like. lowkey praying to lose and get lycaon. very curious abt the little interactions n scenes. silly dude

13 notes · View notes

freebooter4ever · 6 months ago

Text

.

#Heres the thing #Nick and i obviously care about each other #Forever probably #He understands me too well and i think i sometimes understand him #But while he is great in a crisis and there whenever i Need need him #At any other point he is capable of disappearing completely #I called him the morning after my hospital visit and i could already feel him pulling away and saying goodbye without saying goodbye #It will probably be months before i hear from him again #Which i know is enough for him #Hes a strong person very independent never needs anybody i get that #But im not like that i do have a tendency to wanting the people in my life to be IN my life #Anyway im just sad #And grateful obviously because him specifically telling me exactly what to do was probably the only reason my illness didnt get worse 🤣#Anyone else telling me to do the same things i find much easier to ignore lol

9 notes · View notes

healingheartdogs · 1 year ago

Text

Cardio said my echocardiogram ultrasound, exercise stress test, and week long heart monitor all showed no serious issues, my resting heart rate is fine, but that my heart rate does seem to rise very rapidly under even small amounts of stress (postural changes, taking stairs, casually walking around my house) and rises very high (160+ bpm according to the monitor) so now I get to be put on beta blockers to see if they work and if they do she said that is sufficient evidence to confirm for sure that it's POTS.

Obviously could confirm it as well with a tilt table test but those are TORTURE based off what I've heard from fellow POTSies so I am very thankful that she doesn't think that's necessary and will not be making me do one.

#i was not expecting to get dx and meds this fast tbh but im very happy about it #i think the fact that she also has POTS herself helps because she is very well acquaintaned with what it looks and feels like #and how hard it is to actually catch with orthostatics in office unless youre having a bad heart day #so my orthostatics not being within range was unsurprising to her and she was like #'that doesnt mean anything you clearly still have a heart rate issue going on even if it didnt show itself right now'#i didnt do shit the entire week i had that monitor on to like physically exert myself but my heart rate still hit almost 170 a few times #also the doctor who did my stress test asked me if i ever experience any chest discomfort or pain and i was like hm no dont think so #and he went 'your chart says you have palpitations though?'#and i was like '... those count as discomfort???' akdjaicidjwjcjsn the answer is yes apparently #im just so used to them now because i have them daily that they dont even really register to me anymore #unless theyre bad enough to knock the wind out of me or make me cough #they just make me anxious which... ig is also a form of discomfort #chronic illness and chronic pain problems though lol not having a normal baseline for discomfort and pain #ndr #not dog related #health stuff #not that anyone probably cares lol but im excited about getting things that have neen affecting me for years FINALLY figured out #im not crazy im just disabled!!!!#*been

15 notes · View notes

justablah56 · 8 months ago

Text

hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .

#just blahs #not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3 #just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone #and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that #without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended #bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself #gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me #and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok #this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself #aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong #and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week #jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person #and i know that they know i didnt mean it #and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of #and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person #i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok #its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw

13 notes · View notes

citrine-elephant · 8 months ago

Text

leon s kennedy would definitely be the kind of guy to physically overexert himself and take on as much of the labor he can because he feels bad if he doesn't. even if it's fair share, he's gotta jump in and help out.

dead tired, exhausted. who cares if he's being taken advantage of and used because the other party(s) know he'll do whatever he's asked. he feels bad. he feels like he isn't doing enough.