#is that a mode we call that idk
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noooo you can let me describe the doctors body trust me i totally wont be weird about it this time
#me explaining why the doctor is hot: well theyre old enough to be my messiah so jot that down#also a body thats died many times#me opening the powerpoint: so before we begin hands up how many of you have spent more time than you should thinking abt jesus' body#church was like and this is body of christ and me being 7 and autistic took that in every way they DIDNT mean#anyway sorry yaz not sure what exactly the sin is here but im pretty sure uhhh it is one#its usually the master doing this#but yaz is taking the masters place in this fic so#that tracks i guess#gonna have to figure out how to take the pronouns out of this too#also look at the third person/second person flipflopping#i do that kind of a lot but i realised in this paragraph maybe thats because..........there isnt a third person imperative uhh mode?#is that a mode we call that idk#there ISNT a third person imperative right? thats just second person?#i think so#but its interesting bc thats like the main way my narration flipflops#idk if thats like bad. bad writer habit or whatever#if it is i dont really care#it doesnt bother ME so#idk if it bothers anyone else#one time i had a fun paragraph in the doctors pov where it went from its standard 3rd to 2nd to 1st. 1st plural i think#and then Back to 3rd distance yourself from yourself dont get too close#anyway
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official finish-this-sketch-how-you-want post idk what to call thisSAMPLE TEXT
hi! I miss drawing with people in a café and some folks mentioned they'd like to mess with my sketches themselves and that sounds cool so this is now a thing. if u play gartic phone this is basically the complement mode! but without the fucking ring noise that freaks you out right when you're getting into the flow of it
few things are 1/there's no hard deadline! take this at ur own pace if u do, but 2/I'll also be finishing this sketch and I estimate it to take around uhh 3 to 4 days? from the time this is posted. so if that's a structure u like then let's aim for something done in that timespan as well! and 3/if u finish ur piece and post it and want me to see it the best way to do that is to @ this blog! above all we go into this one determined to have fun and enjoy. I already bought u a matcha latte with oat milk sorry if u don't want that
here I got u today a sketch that's supposed to be Riz Gukgak (SY) (grey bg version and transparent version for ur ease of peruse)
remember to have fun & be urself & finish ur drink & see u in 4 or 5
#not art#technically#idk what to tag this... I was thinking sketchboom bc its like one sketch many outcomes yknow. but turns out thats already#a company or something like that. and then I thought something riffing on the complement game mode but I cant think of anything for that#can we call it Fuck With This Sketch. pros: it would be funny. cons: cant think of even a single one#sooomewhat in the realm of dtiys. more in the realm of process swap or whatever the drawing meme was that used to be a thing#where like u and two friends swap pieces inbetween every step#(which is somewhat assumptive of what the process is to be fair. I know people who run directly into a piece blocking out poses in colors#as their sketch. and then just render right on top of it. as an ink-for-lifer their process is alien to me and we are like different specie#I want this to be real freeform u can do anything to this sketch. its decently readable for being made by me I think#if there are more than one character it gets worse. or if its full body or a first sketch for a design. uve seen that basrar piece's sketch#and when I say u can do anything to this sketch I mean it. if ur thinking ''oh they didn't mention a bg or painting idk if I should--''#Stop. You Can Do What You Want Forever. seek ur truth seize ur pleasure and call me a bitch to my face#sky's the ceiling and the depths of hell is the bar. draw with me. that is what this is for#ok Im done lets go. hope u have fun with the sketch! yay! yayaya#edit: well now Ive commited to a stupid tag this is called#Fuck With My Sketch
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Not sure if I'm sabotaging my relationship or not but I feel like I'm in the right ? Perhaps ?
#personal#basically we're long distance but I couldn't see him on a weekend because of unavoidable circumstance#we were going to go to his friends wedding but I couldn't make it.#but hes been sending me photos of my empty seat next to his at the venue#and telling me constantly that I would've loved it#so I took issue with it bc i wasnt enjoying that#and he's gone into panic mode and thinks I'm accusing him of being a 4D chess manipulator#and low-key he kind of is. Unconsciously I think but still manipulative.#he uses the whole 'woe is me' and 'I'm just a terrible useless creature pls pity me' bit way too often.#if we have a slightly uncomfortable conversation he will stop engaging with me and try to distract by telling me he loves me.#like literally 'so what do you think?' ... '[laughs nervously] I love you :'')...' imagine that being the only response he gives for an hour#so I've called him out on his difficulty with sincerity and he's just doubling down on the 'pls pity me' stuff and frankly...#i really don't like it#the wedding thing was kind of nothing but his reaction to it was telling#pulling out the whole 'I am horrified you'd think that' guilt-tripping nonsense#followed immediately by 'you overestimate my intelligence if you think im capable of that :'')' pity party.#just. not promising. not good vibes.#to elaborate on the wedding bit: I made the decision that I couldn't make it bc of a busy work week.#he assured me several times that it was okay if I couldn't make it but he stopped messaging for a day after I told him I couldn't#then sent me a photo of my empty seat with a crying emoji and telling me that he wishes I was there and that i would've really loved it#that's not a message sent with the intent to make me feel good is it?#idk reading this back it sounds like an overreaction from me but with the context of my experience with him this is not an isolated thing#it's kind of perpetually like this. then when called out on it he pulls out the love-bombing but doesn't address the actual issue.#idk. idk.#if anyone wants to engage with this post feel free. Any outsider perspective would be welcome.
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trigun twitter blows like actually fucking sucks ass like actually eats shit like good god what a cesspit. what a fucking travesty how those people live and consume media, twitter fandoms continue losing, seethe, rot, fester, youre all doomed
#sorry idk why i turned into an evil wizard at the end there#but fr trigun twitter fucking sucks its so bad good lord what a sad little life jane#those mfs will say 'i hate when ppl fetishise and feminise vash' to mean ppl draw him with a pussy and call him babygirl#and it makes them fucking seethe for some reason#like man if u want hypermasc vash with a big swangin cock u draw that u go right ahead#but ppl like the way he cries and whines and whimpers and theres fuckall u can do about that imagine getting upset over that#imagine spending ur precious free time ranting on twitter bc ppl ship fictional incest#imagine getting genuinelh passionately upset bc ppl 'dont get' media u like bc they fucking read it differently#imagine not having fun#jesus fuck its so miserable#these ppl are pathetic#jesus christmas man#what a life#god my braincells are burning#trigun twitter sucks so bad christ i hope u all get clowned on we are officially one of the worst fanbases just from how ppl act on there#actual brain damage#im shifting into hyper retard mode#god almighty#sad little people so much fucking discourse over virtually nothing#dont even get me started on the reprobates who talk about vamery like its some rancid problematic ship actually shut the fuck up kys#maim maim kill kill die die die die die#god#hate breeds hate ur all rancid#this is why im not on fandom twt it makes me so fucking angry#rancid site#rancid#putrid
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WIP Meme
I was tagged by @ro-blaze!! (thank you for tagging me!!). After finally wrapping up The Grunge Band AU tm I'm completely free to work on other things, the dilemma now being I have too many things I am working on asdfghjk
The most pressing of things though is probably getting at least one of the next parts of Circumnavigators of Celestial Bodies done before the end of Zutara month so I picked a little chunk I really like from one of those (I call this one 'The Sparring One'):
But, as she assumes her starting stance across from Zuko, she see’s the middle of his chest and falters. Because that’s not how his chest used to be and she knows it. She stands limp and sees lightning and doesn’t even really hear him say her name. And Katara, feebly, asks, “does it still hurt?” Because it looks like it hurts. She’s worried that it hurts. The way the flesh is knotted with fresh scar tissue, pink and healing still. It’s been months, sure, but the scar hasn’t really had all the time to acclimate like the old one has. It’s different to, how the skin’s twisted across itself. The colors it makes. She supposes that all has to do with the fact it’s not from a traditional burn, it’s from lightning. The middle, she supposes, is more like burns she’s seen. Like the scar on his face. Or the scars on plenty of Earth Kingdom people she’s seem. Her hands, even. Scars like her friends mother back home, who’d just gotten a little too ambitious cooking by the fire and they’d all swarmed her immediately to keep the damage as light as possible but still there was damage. That sort of burn. But it splinters out from there, like roots digging into the earth. All these little lines, jutting across his skin. Rivers and streams diverging from a lake. It’s strange. She’s never seen a burn like that. She’d never treated lightning before either. That, to, she still thinks about. How he still sparked with it, how it felt to piece together his insides while it tried to get out. An animal stuck in a trap, really, unable to gnaw off its own foot. She wonders sometimes if it’s still stuck in him. Wiggling around like a fish all tied up in a net. When she looks at him, though, it occurs to her that he maybe doesn’t think about this that often. Or maybe, he does and he just…didn’t think she did.
I'm tagging @thevampireauthoress and @robinainthood ! (only if u guys want tho)
#i have 3 nearly finished bits for circumnavigators so if i just work diligently enough i should be able to get at least some done#the dilemma being is as per usual the sirens call of dmc fic is there asdfghj#i was tempted to put a vergil/kat wip in here but i was like 'no no fab we need to focus we need to shift into zk mode'#idk i just really like the part where she compares lighting to wiggling fish i liked that i liked that katara thought of that asdfghj#anyway thank you again!! i love these types of things i love sharing wips#fab talks#fabtalks#my fic#circumnavigators is not very planned lmao i just let the parts happen to me like i know how it ends im just feeling out how many parts#until i get there asdfghjk#the opposite of swan song which was meticulously planned and yet i still ran into an issue i could not solve asdfghjkl
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The perks of working for americans include an extended four day weekend because... Independence day
The downside is that I got cc into a chain of emails about it and I don't know if I should say something or not because 'good for you dudes, but independence day here is in fifteen days and I still get work calls because it IS a work day here, and also I have to explain to the people here that the office doesn't work today because it's 4th of july and they're like "???? Why u lazy?"
And my brain is like -Sofia Vergara voice- "I can't deny it anymore I am turning into a white woman" because everyone who's called until now has been passively asking me why we have that benefit and like Idk man, the americans pay for everything and if they're not working today neither are we...
#my ramblings#four day weekend because Monday was a religious holiday#and then 4th#also heads up to that one person who got kinda angry when I said we didn't work today#'why? why don't you work today??'#'I understand it's 4th of july but in Colombia that's a work day'#like how do you expect me to call my boss when he's idk where on vacation mode? stuff isn't getting done today sir
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when ww said "this is not my life, I'm no survivor, i only happened to survive"
#he gets it he really does.#hate when ppl call me resilient or are proud of me for surviving shit. girl i did not do anything to be here now. in fact quite the contrary#i am permanently in survival mode and I'm trying so hard to turn it off. but mostly in 1 direction and not the one most ppl hope#sigh. I'm tired man 😐 i just started new mood stabilizers and I'm anxious as fuck#(well. not new. i was on them before when i was a teen. can't remember why i stopped tho)#the whole trying new pills is depressing bc well. there's p much nothing left for me to try#i had a call with her this week. i mentioned it i think. but most of it was trying to figure out if there's meds i never tried out there#the only other one we considered to maybe replace my current antidepressant is very new to the market aka she doesn't know what it does yet#so. instead of replacing. adding stabilizers and hope they don't make things even worse (but lbr they probably will)#I'm very close to giving up yet again. idk what there even is to give up on anymore. my life is nothing with a side of void#but giving up is the only thing i know how to do. I'm too anxious to do anything else. i don't know how to do anything else#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh really wanna cut rn but i already have some wounds on my hands and arms + I'm in enough pain as is so what's the use#vent#i should sleep. idk if i can. I've been trying all day and failed. I'm so tired#i wish i didn't wake up man 😐 i wish i died. tonight#suicide //#not really but implied ig#self harm mention //#ask to tag
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I think i might've done Friend Limbro a Concern when i started just Yelling upon seeing this
(We were accidentally on public so we hopped out, fixed that, the selection stayed the same)
Also: Felarx (slappy as hell gun) and Gram Prime (slappy as hell sword that Higgins canonically likes using). Could've been the circuit run of ages but i am so much more content with it instead happening for Free Roam Bullshit With Friend
#we broke the bounty like two stages in and then spent almost two hours wandering around#i summoned higgins for such vital things as 'i wanted to press 4 and laugh' and 'oh god does the zoomie decree affect him'#YES IT DOES BTW#not vial rush but regular movement yes#i tried to skate into the void and failed bc there was more land than anticipated#kata's chatter#oc: drifter north#oc: higgins#game fuckin LOVED me today we had a wonderful long free roam with THIS#then i did a circuit run with harrow prime + kuva hek bc holy shit. holy shit that combo#and then another with equinox prime (day nuke) + kuva hek AGAIN#that one got us to zone 7#or whatever is it called. stage? round? idk#anyway lvl240 enemies. this mode is a power trip if ive ever seen one and im LIVING
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my apartment manager, who has still not fixed my AC after two weeks, who ignored multiple texts on the subject, is currently Big Mad i haven’t responded to his text from literally <5 hours ago
#going through my voicemail and he started calling me THIRTY MINUTES after texting me!!!! literally eat glass!!!!!#i had my phone in do not disturb mode (because i was WORKING!) so i missed a lot of… whatever this is#this is what happens when you respond to people’s texts in a short period of time#they think you're accessible 24/7 then get all salty when you're not#like ok we can just leave this AC not working for 2 weeks but all of a sudden it has to get fixed TOMORROW!!!!#and i'm the asshole because i DARED to idk have a job and a life and didn't look at my phone for 5 hours#maybe you should be better at planning things! just bc you're bad at your job doesn't make any of this my fucking problem!#maim bite stab kill#m.txt
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Pop quiz: reading comprehension!
1. This epic is named "The Odyssey". Can you explain, based on the text and your understanding of the definition of "odyssey", why this is a fitting title?
2. Can you explain why Odysseus' journey home took so long? Who (or what) caused this delay? Hint: In the text, are there any characters that could affect one's ability to travel safely/in the right direction?
Was curious how far Ithaca was from troy today while listening to epic the musical and rereading the illiad and I found this map
I think odysseus would have been better just to walk😭
#idk man this is inconsequential but its just. cmon. haha very funny but#gonna be honest. this post is making me a little peeved.#like sorry. can we think of any reason that water travel would be preferable if you are traveling a long way?#would perhaps. a lack of extensive inland road infrastructure make this journey a teensy bit harder?#and would you like to carry more than you can put on your back? how about food or water?#do you have an accurate map? good news about the mediterranean: its small! you can follow coasts! you can island hop!#would you prefer to travel on something that largely conveys itself/can move while part of your group rests#or would your party like to all do the same amount of work all the time and move more slowly#*sigh*#i dunno. the iliad and the odyssey are very cool oral traditions and there is a lot we can infer about life in that period from them#preferred modes of long distance transport being like. the snow sitting on top of the iceberg.#so “hur dur why take so long” has me a little cranky. 1) there are in-text reasons called “the plot” and 2) real life logistical reasons!!
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kinda fuzzy as it goes but got pizza w alice (and finn sorta) but didnt do much bc aster got idk. weird? sad? who knows. ik she shared stuff that i kinda wish she hadnt but it was semi relevant information. we do miss calling people more often though. she did say that we can call while there i think actually? but dont kno if anyone wld b cool w that + we usually do stuff on call. mb if she naps and shelby wants 2 do mhr or smth idk
#bloodletting#but itd be tiny mode (idk why thats why we call it that. handheld mode) and nightmare.#tbh we cld dock the switch at her place but idk. also 4 half of this week gotta feed the cats @ specific times so idk abt sleepin over#speaking of. thats like soon or nowish i think. ughhhh#kinda is an understatement actually we only rly remember#what was posted.#memory loss but 4 all of us grins. idk if aster wld remember more#source: we r blurry shes aroundish almost
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Fopps was like 'why have you removed yourself from 90% of your social spaces' and I do not know how to explain that like... it's not that anyone has upset me or that like- Okay, there is an element of like 'the way I care about people is wrong and I am a terrible human being for leading everyone on' but that's like- complicated and more fleeting. 90% of it is absolutely just 'if you give me a captive audience, I will trauma dump rn.' tumblr is mostly safe rn because I frequently forget that I have the ability to make posts and not just reblog things.
#the first thing is just complicated and is about like- the way my dissociation works#at the end of the day- there is a dissociative ... piece? part? Emotional Part? whatever we want to call it. Phase of Self#That does indeed not care about anything. It does not care about you. It does not care about my wife. It does not care.#it is survival mode at it's finest.#but whenever I come out of that dissociative state it feels really gross and bad and like I've been a terrible person#even if like- its only been idk a few hours.#and like this state does not *do* anything. it's not like 'oh I yell at people and I was MEAN' it just feels... empty and blank.#I buy my wife this chocolate when I see it because it's not at our local store anymore. and when I do it when I'm not /that/ dissociated#this feels like an act of love. I feel Love and Warm and Good. I am going to make my wife happy#when I am that kind of dissociated#I still do it I still buy the chocolate but it feels cold and calculated.#I buy the chocolate because it will make my wife happy and that is what the Shell of A Person is supposed to do#but then yeah. You come out and you feel gross like you're just manipulating everyone. Like you're doing all the right things but there's n#there's no light behind the eyes.#and I recognize now that the dissociative state is protective. I recognize that I needed it because I have been through the Horrors#and that if I had to deal with having feelings about things all the time- I wouldn't have made it#and that when I flick back into it- it's probably like... because I've been triggered or some shit and am having too many feelings so#actually we're gonna have none. because that's how you survive#but yeah it creates this really frustrating pattern in my life where like- it's not even *that* state that withdraws from people#it's the one after. Where I have all the feelings about everything and I'm scared I've tricked people!#I've made people think I'm nice and caring and kind when AHAH actually I'm a robot who has only been programmed for kindness#this probably counts as trauma dumping. I'm doing the exact thing I do not want to do rn.#*squints* bah bahbah bah bah bahbahbah
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Mood. We've had to stop playing games like this because we'd get unhealthily addicted to "number go up"
Like we'd get a withdrawal like effect, we'd get anxious about missing out on potential number going up if we didn't have whatever idle game we were obsessing over running in the background of our computer 24/7. Doing schoolwork? Keep it in the background and tab in like every 5 minutes to check in on it and buy upgrades. Planning D&D? Same thing.
Other games that use the "number go up" formula often got greedy with their players and kept trying to exploit their addiction to make them spend money, they made it more and more grindy until it was impossible for free-to-play people like us to keep up. (We didn't have a job, so no consistent money, so that's a reason why we were FTP. I dunno if we would've fallen into the trap of spending tons of money on games like these if we had a consistent income)
After getting disillusioned with our latest "number go up" simulator, I decided to try cookie clicker because I heard it wasn't pay to win. Yeah, I used an autoclicker too. And CC was pretty neat and all, it wasn't exploitative, which I appreciate- it was a grindy game in its purest state, grinding for the sake of grinding, gaining numbers for the hell of it, instead of trying to make money off of players- but since it wasn't actively trying to exploit us with FOMO it let us stop and think, and we realized we don't even enjoy these kinds of games that have taken up hours and hours of our lives.
So we made a rule for ourselves. No more of these games. From now on, we only play games if we're actually enjoying them, not just playing it out of obligation to make the number go higher. And it was really hard to stop playing since we got that same kind of withdrawal effect, the little itch in the back of the head that "I could be more productive right now, if I just had one of those games open in the background while I write I would be more productive" but we had to just fight that.
Anyway, that's not to say nobody should play these games. I'm not writing this to shame anyone for playing them, I'm not trying to sound preachy and hope that it doesn't come off that way- this comic just reminded me of our experience with these types of games and I felt like talking about it since we were addicted to these kinds of games for a good while. Some people will definitely be able to handle the addicting nature of these games better than we can. Some people genuinely enjoy the grind because it lets them just turn off their brain for a little while or not have to focus too much on something. Just be mindful to not let it become an addiction, is all.
So yeah that's the story of how we had an addiction to really grindy idle games
-Emyr (he/it)
#video game addiction#game addiction#emyr post#we used to play idle champions of the forgotten realms an unhealthy amount since we really like D&D#to be fair that game taught us about a lot of important D&D figures we otherwise wouldn't recognize so we're grateful for that#Like Jarlaxle. we wouldn't have known who the hell he was while prepping our out of the abyss campaign without that game having him#and that game gave us an idea for his personality which will be really useful for playing him as an npc#and it also made him grow on us#idk how accurate the game's personality was of him but still we started out indifferent and ended up liking him#as much as we'd like to our adhd prevents us from reading the books with the big famous characters like him and drizzt and bruenor#so we would've had very little exposure to characters like these otherwise#maybe we should listen to audiobooks more. but i digress#they ended up introducing a battle pass thingy and we dipped#because the entire point of season pass battle pass whatever they're called is to exploit FOMO to get you to pay money and we have no money#So we got disillusioned and moved onto the next game#We also played creatures of sonaria on roblox for a very long time#it's not really an idle game in the traditional sense it's supposed to be a creature survival game#honestly the creature designs are awesome and the flight mechanics in that game really feels satisfying to use#like there's flapping and gliding and soaring and wind currents and you have to manage your stamina and aiming downwards makes you faster#really pleasing for me since i'm otherkin#most games just make flight like creative mode minecraft and it's boring#unfortunately it has a gacha system for getting new creatures and the only reliable way to get currency is to afk and check in now and then#so you don't get kicked for afk or die of hunger or thirst#the intention is that you get currency for playing the game more but there's nothing to do as long as you keep your creature fed and watere#the missions system helped this problem a little bit but not a huge amount in our experience#so that's why it becomes afk hell unless you want to hunt other players for sport but killing for fun is generally frowned on by many#since most players are just trying to afk for money since there's nothing else to do#so if you kill them it's really inconvenient for their grind but it's also the only form of entertainment unless a seasonal event is on#and if the seasonal event is on then you feel rushed to grind for event currency to get the cool new creatures#oh today i learned there's a maximum tag cap oops
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.
#vent#tw: death/dying#yesterday was fcking tERRIFYING for me#like#wth idk how to go about normal life rn#i took ONE SIP of a cross-contaminated drink that had accidental peanut butter in it#and within half an hour i was on the verge of death and had to be stabbed with an epi-pen#(which fucking HURTS wth nobody warned me it would hurt that badly)#my poor fiance had to be the one to administer the shot while on the phone with 911#fortunately i was lucid enough to retrieve the epipen and hit call on 911 and hand him my phone and the pen#and he freaked out for a second bc he was scared to do it#and BOY did that shit hurt#but he did do it and it literally saved my life#and it's so so so crazy to think that a tiny bit of cross contamination nearly killed me yesterday#and i'm still so tired today like im in recovery mode but it's way more than just physical recovery#idk how to go about my day now everything i eat or drink i'm terrified#and my left thigh is still in so much pain like it's so sore and i'm shaky when i walk#i'm so hyper aware of my heartbeat and it's a combo of i'm so grateful it's still going but also so scared it'll speed up again#last night my blood pressure dropped like 12 hours after the hospital and we drove back to the ER just in case#didn't check in bc i'm broke and have no health insurance (another degree of fear rn)#but stayed nearby in case it got worse and we did need to check in#it's just... it's fcking scary and idk how to deal with it#i've had some brushes with death before but always in a way i could fight#where my survival depended on my strength and reflexes#not where my own body was killing me and i was at the mercy of hoping the epipen worked quickly enough#and now this is just??? the rest of my life???#like until i die i have to be scared of anything and everything i eat?#also anaphylaxis can recur up to 72 hours after the initial reaction without any new exposure#i was so scared to sleep last night i woke up like a thousand times bc i was afraid my body would shut down while i was asleep and i'd die#and i have TWO MORE DAYS that can happen
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Passing the Phone
f1 grid x reader
warnings: cussing, unhinged, satire, complete jokes (are they?...), dark humor ig…idk, talk of age gaps, sa allegations, no just kidding...very much reading people to the filth
authors note: lmaoo don’t ask me why i wrote this cause idk…but this is so unhinged 😭😭 please don’t take offense to this and if you do…i said don’t…all jokes i love them, some of them, you can find it funny or you won’t, just wanted to get this out of my drafts
want to be tagged in my works?! CLICK HERE!
f1 masterlist
Video starts with Y/N holding the phone, in selfie mode.
Y/N: I'm passing the phone to someone who had the biggest breakup in F1 history with a blond German boy named Nico.
Lewis: Babe, no!
Y/N: What, too soon? It's been years but okay! Sorry! Okay, let me start again. I'm passing the phone to someone who said "Fuck Mercedes" and is going to Ferrari for 2025!
Lewis: Y/N, no!! You cannot say that! You’re gonna get me in trouble!!
Y/N: Fine, fine, fine. I'm passing the phone to the GOAT of this generation with the most wins in F1 history, yet he was robbed of the championship in 2021.
Y/N passes the phone to Lewis.
Lewis: stares at Y/N then laughs “I'm passing the phone to someone who is known more for his memes than driving skills.”
Lewis passes the phone to George.
George: laughs “Hahaha real funny…I'm passing the phone to someone who took six years to get their first win."
Lando: “Dude, what the fuck?! Fuck you, Woody! I'm passing the phone to someone who's younger than me yet acts years older than me.”
Oscar: “....You're not funny... I'm passing the phone to someone who's most likely losing their seat next season.”
Logan: “The fuck, Oscar! I thought we were friends! Low blow, mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has yet to get P1, yet all his friends who got into F1 after him have won races already.”
Alex: “....And that, Logan, is why you're losing your seat. Mr. What The Fuck is A Kilometer. Anyway, I'm passing the phone to someone who just got brutally murdered by an interviewer on Sky Sports regarding their F1 career, if you could call it that.”
Daniel: “You shouldn’t be talking Mr. I Have No Wins….eat shit…I'm passing the phone to the shortest person on the grid but cusses more than anyone here.”
Yuki: “That interviewer was right, why the fuck do you still have a seat in F1?!! Dickhead. I'm passing the phone to a man with good fashion sense and his teammate might steal his seat.”
Zhou: “Bro….really. I'm passing the phone to someone who acts like he's Australian when he’s not…oh, and his seat is at risk too.”
Bottas: “Yeah, yeah, whatever mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has enough penalties in just nine races that he can be banned from racing in F1… permanently.
Kevin: “You're so funny, Bottas, hahaha…ha. I'm passing the phone to a dickhead.”
Nico: “Fuck you too asshole. I'm passing the phone to a person who has a shitty ass dad who deserves to be in jail.”
Max: burst out laughing “Ah, no lies told there. I'm passing the phone to someone who only has a seat to protect me from having any real competition…”
You laugh in the background “Oh shit.”
Checo: blank stare “Motherfucker! That just shows your true colors... I'm passing the phone to... who am I supposed to pass it to... uhhh... Y/N.
Takes phone
Y/N: “Oh, I know! I'm passing the phone to someone who has sexual assault “allegations” against them, but the FIA wants to hide it. I can’t go near him for my safety, so I’ll just turn the camera towards him... *pans the camera to Christian Horner*
Everyone is stunned and silent, then there’s Lewis laughing in the background
Y/N: “Oh! I have another one! Hey Kelly, “i hear you like them young”, to be more specific at the ripe age of 17... mhmmm, she's a pedoo. What Kendrick say “TRYNA STRIKE A CORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINNORRRR” *pans the camera to Kelly Piquet*
silence.
Lewis: runs towards Y/N and grabs the camera “Yup, that's enough for today. You're trying to start problems and get people beat up”
Video ends with Lewis taking the phone away from Y/N, shaking his head while laughing.
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .
✿ .° • everything taglist • °. ✿ : @ham1lton @ietss @animeandf1lover @nelly187 @heartsfromtaeyong @bloodyymaryyy @nor-4 @zacian117 @mel164 @uhhvictoria @hadidsworld @magixpracticality @exotic-iris13 @tellybearryyyy @zabwlky1999 @sya-skies @lillysbigwilly
@eoduuung
.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .
*sooooo……that’s the end….LMFAOOOO, again…DO NOT COME FOR ME…ITS JOKES (is it really though)*
© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own
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One of the things missing in Veilguard is any sort of meaningful power struggle. By keeping to the poorer parts of the city-settings, we don't really deal with corrupt or powerful nobles. By defanging the Crows, an organization who famously has lethal squabbles between factions, they turned them into some weird, benevolent family organization. Even the assassin trying to make "evil" power plays doesn't actually manage to kill any of his targets, and his ruthless relatives? Also don't kill him in revenge. In the end, the status quo is maintained. Nothing has changed.
In Tevinter, we have the Threads, an organized crime unit who we know runs "protection" rackets on the locals and is involved in some kind of smuggling (it's Tevinter--so presumably this would involve slavery and dangerous artifacts, but it's Veilguard, so I guess not). Instead of them beefing with the Shadow Dragons, who presumably ruin some of their deals with their pesky "freeing the slaves" thing, and instead of their main issue being with any sort of law enforcement, something which doesn't exist in Veilguard beyond one singular templar who does all of jack shit the entire game, their main power struggle is with the Venatori, who are evil just to be evil.
And instead of the Veilguard siding with law enforcement or the threads and enlisting their help to, idk, unseat the corrupt head of the templars or otherwise deal with the venatori shit, the threads are highly favored by the storyline, and in the end the only real choice is to make Neve a thread or to make her... idk, the same Neve? The game calls her an "inspiration", but it's not like she's part of any organization, so we can't call her a figurehead. It's just like, see that random citizen right there? She rules. And I don't really see how that increases the power of the rule of law, because even if one good person is working within rule of law to get things done, she's not part of the system, and everyone already know the system is corrupt in Minrathous. Random citizens in fucking Ferelden know the system is corrupt in Minrathous, or they would if they weren't all dead. Neve is now just playing on hard mode to appear righteous, which, good for her, but I'm sorry, won't inspire all that many people who are still paying "protection" money to the local mafia.
(Putting Neve in charge of the Threads is an absolutely whackadoodle decision by the devs that I don't even know how to respond to. She has a single Thread contact. Presumably the Threads have a hierarchy. She has never demonstrated interest in being a smuggler. Being a detective really has no overlap with being a crime boss. Telling a group of criminals that they are all detective's helpers now is sure to go over like a lead balloon. What the fuck was that. Why did that happen.)
Maevaris and Dorian arguing came out of nowhere and lasted a fairly long time, which was interesting, but after the most recent election in the states, Maevaris's position sounds unbearably naive and trite, and this hardly counts as a power struggle as they both say they will support the other depending on what some random outsider thinks should happen. (That is soooo not a basis for a system of government. Why would Maevaris OR Dorian cede their power to Rook, someone they don't know and who doesn't matter)
The power struggle within the Wardens is also very stupid and easily solved. The First Warden is a moron. He dies (kind of). For some reason the extremely hot and competent couple who we first encounter in the middle of nowhere are next in command, so, phew. Problem solved there. A question of what the Wardens will do now that the Blights are over would have been interesting. Do they keep recruiting lest the Blight somehow reoccur and nobody remembers the Warden secrets? Or do they disband? Do they set themselves to seeking a cure and nothing else?
The closest you get to that is deciding what the griffons will do, which, again, why the fuck is Rook deciding that, but also there are 13 of them, in two or three more generations they will be dead unless a lot of mages bone up on genetics real fast.
Who is left? We have Rivain, which is just pointless in this game. I played as a Lord of Fortune, but you could drop that faction and not a single thing changes in the game. Pirates who don't loot valuable artifacts because they are elvhen? Give me a fucking break.
Same for the Mourn Watch. There is pretty much nothing going on in that region. You could excise it from the game and nothing changes in the slightest. There is not a single excuse for them not using the Eluvians to help the Veilguard earlier in the game, given just how little they have going on.
The Veiljumpers are just missed opportunities all over the place. They could have had factions debating whether to join the god of vengeance in fucking up the human civilizations as payback for, you know, everything. They could have had people joining Cyrion in thinking that a Forgotten One might be the best way to face down the gods, given they'd done it before. There could have been a HUGE cultural impact on "what do we do now that we know our gods are evil fuckfaces--what do we keep and what do we throw away," but Veilguard ain't that deep. They could have had knowledge of a super-weapon or some elvhen bullshit that would help the Veilguard fight the gods... but nah.
In DAO, your decisions not only affected the political futures of the various regions, but they decided who would help you and how. Did the dwarves have golems? Did you have templars or mages? That whole wolf thing with the Dalish that I no longer remember that well? And the Dalish deciding to help changed how they were viewed in Ferelden. The mages helping you meant the monarch would treat them favorably. It fucking mattered.
In Veilguard, the only situation remotely close to that is the dragon decision at the beginning, which was one of the fucking dumbest plot points in a video game I have ever played. It was the first thing that made me set my controller down and go... what? What the fuck? The idea that Rook, a nobody, is the only person singularly capable of driving back a dragon in the entire north is laughable. What the fuck was Dorian up to that day? How is Rook more capable than every single Crow? How is it the two companions you sent to the other city were absolutely useless? If Lucanis/Neve + two companions were unable to drive a dragon away, what makes them think Rook would be the deciding factor? What makes them blame Rook when they themselves couldn't fucking do it? Neve in particular was a big part of fucking up that ritual and releasing the gods, so why is Rook taking all the fire for this?
AND WHY IS THEIR RESPONSE TO A BLIGHT TO FIND A SINGLE DRAGON HUNTER? HEY DIPSHITS, THE DRAGON IS HUNTING YOU. YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT PART. YOU NEED AN ARMY.
But Treviso or Minrathous being spared doesn't change the global political situation at all. It would have been really interesting if it did. Tevinter hobbled? How many kingdoms would be salivating to take a bite out of their territory? With the trade princes of Antiva being absolutely fucked over by the Blight, who is taking over that trade? Who is getting rich?
Nobody, I guess, because why would Rook know or care about that, because, as previously mentioned, they are a nobody who doesn't matter and honestly shouldn't be listened to.
The stakes in this game are nothing because the bad guys are all so obviously bad that you know, as a video game player, that you are going to defeat them. Oh, the Antaam are just mindless, faceless brutes fucking up Treviso? Okay, let's kill them. Venatori again? I'm pretty sure they aren't the heroes of this game. There's no power struggle, and in the end all we've done is revert to the status quo, (except i guess Treviso is no longer occupied).
Except for the south. The south is dead. but we didn't have anything to do with that for some reason. Couldn't even be bothered to house some refugees in our safehouse that was built specifically to house refugees. The Inquisitor, who has access to the eluvians, couldn't figure out how to get other people through them or something so... sorry, every single Orlesian, Fereldan, and Marcher.
#veilguard critical#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#datv critical#dragon age critical#bioware critical#da critical#da veilguard spoilers#honestly this is just a rant with very little logical flow#I swear I had a point when I started writing but it got away from me#not even the end cards tlel you like#Dorian was a fucking tyrant who caused a revolt and blah blah#not that I remember anyway#no stakes no consequences nothing changes#tepid ass game
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