#i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this

[mercurycft]

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 - 𝐋.𝐖

## leah williamson/beth mead x teammate-(ex)reader !! MINIFIC

hi pookies!! i wrote this after watching love actually and I'm still fuming about the whole CD situation iykyk. this is roughly and loosely based on that scene, which is HEARTBREAKINGGGG. this kinda has a cringey ending but my little cringe heart loved it. thank you all for the love recently! i hope you're enjoying all the content. love always - RGx

1.8k words.

emotional. beth being the best best friend. talks of a break up. not proof read.

"you know we dont have to watch it, right?" beth spoke lowly and no louder than a whisper, breaking the silence that had stretched out between you both like a tightrope.

you allowed a small and meaningless smile to crack in the corner of your mouth for a beat as you took a sip of the tea in your hands, eyes still glued to the TV screen. only flicking to beth briefly and for less than a second - as if you were unable to bear the contact. "i know," you admitted. "i want to." you spoke with a fake conviction, leaning forward to lay your mug onto the coffee table.

you watched on in silence, heart hammering in your ears when leah finally came on screen. she looked good, and it pained you to realise. to realise that whilst you're at home, curled up on your sofa, she's out doing brilliant things. you watched as leah sat beside her piano teacher, who you recall fondly after spending many evenings in his company. leah's fingers danced over the piano keys, the camera zooming in to capture the intensity of her practice.

you tried to rid your mind of the hurt for a few minutes, attempting to squash them into microscopic parts of you. you could feel beth's eyes burning holes into the side of your head, but you didn't dare look away for even just a second. scared you would miss something important, or miss her on the screen.

you watched as she prepared for her performance and made her way towards the concert piano, you knew her well enough to tell how nervous she was - breathing uneasy and hands fidgety. the camera followed her every step, until she sat down and found her bearings. as the camera pulled out, you saw the full orchestra behind her, tuning their instruments. you watched on eagerly as the anticipation grew in the room, a storm of nerves brewing in the pit of your stomach.

there was a moment of silence from the tv, before you watched the conductor lift their arms and a chorus of instruments began to play - including leah. as they began to play, it was hard to ignore the hurt bubbling up and into your throat. as her keys fell in perfect unison with the accompanying music, it was like you had been transported back in time.

you can recall it as if it was yesterday - being back in her living room, watching her play it for the first time. she had looked up at you from her spot in front of the keyboard, eyes shy yet hopeful, asking if you liked it. "it's beautiful," you had said, not knowing then that it would become so much more.

leah's eyes remained on the keys as she played, her expression serene. her hair fell around her face like a curtain, obscuring her features slightly. the way it used to fall when you held her close, comforting her after a stressful lesson. it was a stark contrast to the sharpness of her posture now, the determination in her hands as they flew over the piano.

you felt the weight of the moment, the gravity of her talent. the sound of her playing filled the room, swelling like the crescendo of the symphony of your past. you could almost smell the scent of her shampoo, feel the warmth of her skin. your chest tightened and your eyes stung with unshed tears. but you didn't look away. you couldn't. because, as much as it hurt to admit, you were bursting with pride.

beth couldn't bring herself to speak, overly aware of the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. instead, she layed a hand gently and slowly onto the leg pressed close to hers. heaving a quiet sigh as she watched you break for the fifteenth time today.

as the final notes echoed through the speakers, you couldn't help but let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. leah's eyes finally lifted and she took in the applause, her face breaking into a smile that was so familiar and yet so foreign. your heart felt like it was in a vice, but you found yourself smiling back at her, even though she couldn't see you.

you felt beth's hand move to your shoulder, squeezing gently. "are you okay?" she asked. you nodded, not trusting your voice.

"yeah," you whispered back, "i'm okay." but you weren't. not really. you were just watching your past play out on live television, painfully reminded of what you could never get back.

the show continued, but you couldn't focus on anything else. the music had left a hollow space inside of you that only leah could fill. you looked at beth, her eyes filled with sympathy and something else. "you know it wasn't your fault, don't you?" she spoke softly.

"what?" you replied, trying to shake off the emotional fog that had enveloped you.

beth squeezed your shoulder again, "everything, i mean. she wasn't herself and she was angry at the world. she shouldn't have taken it out on you." her words stung to hear, but deep down you knew she was right. leah had always been driven, always been passionate about her career. it was one of the many things you loved about her. but seeing her up there, so poised and professional, compared to the person she was not even a month ago when things ended between you, was like watching a stranger.

you nodded, swiping at the tears that had escaped. "i know," you murmured. "but i can't help but feel like i just missed something. like i could've been there." beth didn't respond, she just held your hand, her thumb tracing circles on the back of it, offering silent comfort.

the applause from the audience on the telly grew louder as leah took her bow, her cheeks flushed with excitement. you felt a pang of jealousy, watching her revel in the moment, knowing that she has finally caught up with the feeling she had been chasing.

beth's grip on your hand tightened. "you know you can talk to me, right?" she said. her voice was gentle, like a soft summer breeze, trying to soothe the storm in your chest.

you nodded, "i know," you whispered. "but i don't know what to say. it's just…it's a lot." your voice cracked slightly, and you took a deep, shaky breath.

"it's alright to feel this way," beth assured you, her eyes never leaving yours. "you loved her, and she was a part of your life. it's natural to miss her when you see her doing something that makes her seem okay."

you tried to force back the tears that now are fighting for release, held back by nothing more than your waterline. it didn't take long until they began to litter your cheeks. "i miss her," you stammered through a small sob, collapsing into beth's chest as she stoked your back.

"i know." she whispered into your hair, gently rocking the pair of you back and fourth.

"she's still the one,"

[olderthannetfic]

Ok. Dumb question incoming, but I'd much have a 'conversation' than try to read fanlore or watch video essays or something because I want to hear individual people's contributions.

Why Star Trek?

Don't get me wrong - I like the franchise! I'm not super duper familiar with it, but I do enjoy the bits and pieces that I do know. But I am wondering why that in particular is hailed as the grandmother of all fandoms? Obviously people were fannish before Trek, but I don't think anyone can deny the impact that OG Trekkies had on fic, zines, and eventually on the internet.

I know that it's always been popular and well-liked, but it's not as if there was NO SUCH THING as popular culture/fan culture before that (I mean, come on, the term "parasocial" predates the first Star Trek episode by 10 years!) . Was it just a perfect mix of timing + popularity + etc? Is there something in particular about ST that "hit different" than other series at the time? Or is the fandom really really just that mighty and it's almost "luck" in a way? I guess I'm wondering what particular dominoes cascaded in a line in order for Star Trek to have the impact on fandom that it does today.

or am I wrong? were there just-as-big fandoms before and I simply overhype Trekkie power in my head / happen to see more talk of that than I do of other fandoms? It could definitely be a social circle bias thing.

Ugh. Asking OTNF why Star Trek is so important to fandom history feels very much like asking a Russian History major why War & Peace is so important to literature - hence why I warned you that it'd be a dumb question! But I am just so damn curious what sort of crack was in early ST fandom that made it SO widespread and SO strong.

Like, I guess the TLDR is: what was particularly 'different' about Star Trek, either as a fandom or as a franchise or both, that made it Theeeeee OG fandom, rather than something, like, i dunno, LOTR or the earliest versions of Marvel/DC comics or General Hospital or something else like that?

--

I await the hordes of angry Man from U.N.C.L.E. fans eager to prove that they were first.

And, no, it wasn't that popular. Hence the aggressive Save Our Show campaign and explosion of fan culture when it ended after three seasons.

Part of the answer to your question is that there were like three things on TV at the time. What big fandoms? 'Parasocial' was about non-subculture people feeling warmly towards news anchors or hosts of variety shows or something, wasn't it?

LOTR got rediscovered in the 60s or 70s from what I hear, but science fiction and fantasy books were for fringe weirdoes. SFF was not mainstream for the most part. There are a bunch of History of Book SF Fandom things on Youtube, and you should consult them on the complex role of LOTR in that space. LOTR wasn't a mainstream thing until there were live action movies a billion years later.

The key about Star Trek is that it was a hit with the pre-existing book SF crowd. They were an organized subculture. Some of their favorite writers wrote episodes. Other shit on TV was for people who did not form subcultures in that way. Other shit for SF fans had an audience 1/10,00th the size.

MFU was insanely popular. Illya Kuryakin was the heartthrob of a certain era of girl and inspired many a Russian major. (Seriously, there are soooo many Russia-boos of a certain age who probably still have a poster of him somewhere.) The actor set a record for fanmail. The show may have more influence on fandom history than we think now, but it also didn't rerun the way Trek did, at least in some eras, and it didn't have sequel series in a franchise. I'm always finding 2015 movie fans shocked that there's a still extant and semi-active fandom—or even shocked that the movie is based on something.

Starsky & Hutch was also hugely important and is the moment slash fandom and "Media Fandom" really split from book SF fandom. As Trek fans moved on to buddy cops, they were into a completely mainstream show but in a non-mainstream way. Trek was an awkward bedfellow at SF cons, but S&H just didn't fit at all.

Of course, while Trek is the grandma of AO3 type fandom, don't forget that a shitton of modern fans who are doing "research" just look at the same few sources. Enterprising Women is great and all, but even other fans of the same stuff are like "Oh, that was just X's friends. Where's [thing] and [thing] and [thing]?" Ditto Textual Poachers and the other scant early sources that people think have academic weight.

While Trek would still be central, the picture of what was going on in the late 60s-early 80s would look a bit different if you just found a bunch of 70-something nerds and asked them than if you regurgitate other people's research, you know?

If you want an idea of what else was going on in SF fandom back in the day, check out Galactic Journey, where they roleplay that it's 55 years ago and review SF things "as they come out".

If you want to understand MFU, here's a vid of Illya:

--

What say you, readers?

What have acafandom and fandom history and meta left out?

[dee-writes-anime]

First Meetings with Megumi Fushiguro

FEATURING Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

SUMMARY Megumi meeting your daughter for the first time

CONTENT WARNINGS pregnancy trope, vague mentions of childhood truama, nervous/scared megumi, cuteness, descriptions of facial features (on the baby).

AUTHORS NOTE It's been too long since I wrote my cute little grumpy guy, feast my loves!

SERIES MASTERLIST

The room felt suffocatingly hot, over a million degrees by your calculations, but you had only just given birth, so you figured you weren't the best judge of temperature considering the layer of sweat that clung to your skin. Once you finally willed your tired eyes open, you were met with the soft, golden glow of the afternoon sun as it peeked through the half-drawn curtains. The quiet hum of machines filled the space once your ears stopped ringing, an occasional fuss or crinkle from hospital bed sheets seeping through. Your entire body felt like it was on fire from the waist down if you excluded the sharp sting of sore ab muscles and you could feel the crushing weight of exhaustion from hours of labor pushing you deeper and deeper into the thin mattress.

Yet none of it mattered, it barely registered as you stared in awe at the tiny bundle cradled in one of the nurse's arms. They had yet to clean her up much, really, still covered in blood and various other fluids, but they had wiped her face quickly with a different blanket than the soft pink one she was wrapped in now.

Noticing the lack of movement from the nurse as she looked toward the window, you followed her gaze and quickly noticed why. There Megumi stood, his back rigid and hands shoved deep into his pockets. He hadn't said much since birth, come to think of it, he hadn't said much since you arrived at the hospital, just stoically holding your hand as you screamed and ran his fingers through his hair in a panic. You could practically see the tension radiating off of him in waves-- from the slight bounce in his heel to the way his fingers played with the fabric of his pockets.

"Gumi," you called softly, your voice hoarse, cracking slightly, but still full of warmth.

He turned immediately, shifting his almost fearful expression from the nurse to you, his gorgeous, dark eyes catching yours. The moment stretched as he stared, his eyes letting go of the flicker of mania to a gentler, softer look at seeing your face, seemingly reassured that you were okay.

"You get to hold her first, remember? Like we talked about?" you murmured, motioning to the nurse with a shaky hand who had moved closer to Megumi while he had been distracted, treating him almost as if he was a cornered animal.

His eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, you could see where the nurse was coming from. His expression was almost comparable to the fidgety, grumpy teenager you had met all those years ago. "Me?" he asked after a long stretch of silence, his voice a fearful whisper.

"Yeah, honey, you wrote it in the birth plan, hm?" you coaxed, "took you a lot of convincing and feet rubs to pull it out of me." A smile pulled at your lips despite your exhaustion. Megumi had been weirdly adamant about wanting to be the first to hold her since you both agreed to start trying for a child and you were still unsure as to why, but if that was the one thing he wanted, you weren't going to deny him. "C'mon, Megs. She's waiting for her dad."

He hesitated, glancing at the nurse and then back at you, his fingers flexing nervously as he tried to hide the slight tremble in his fingers before he let out a deep breath and finally stepped closer.

The nurse handed him the baby with a gentle, understanding smile, softly guiding his hands to support her tiny head and body. Megumi froze for a moment, arms locked awkwardly outward as soon as the weight of your daughter settled into him, his breath catching audibly. Your girl fussed for a moment, uncomfortable with his unsteady, rigid grip and you watched as Megumi slowly, gently reeled her closer to his chest. It looked so smooth, so inevitable-- like a wave crashing upon the shore.

"She's so... small," he said quietly, and you knew he was trying to hide the emotional crack in his words as his heart swelled ten times in his chest, eyes swirling with wonder and fear.

Megumi gently adjusted her then, his trembling arms ever so slowly steadying as he stared at her face, his eyes, dark and wide, were drinking in every small detail they could find. From the tiny freckle in the corner of her eye to the plump swoop of her lips, her strikingly similar eyes to yours to the black of her small tuft of hair, and finally her sweet button nose to the gentle rise and fall of her chest. Alive.

For a moment, you watched as Megumi lost himself in thought. His brows furrowed, a spark of something unspoken passed over his face and that's when you knew. When you realized why he had been so adamant about holding her first. It was the final nail in the coffin of his child, an ache in his chest that he no longer wanted to carry into his daughter's life, something he seemingly needed to let go if he were ever to be a good father. You knew he was wrong, that Megumi could never, ever repeat past mistakes made by his own parents, but you let him have his moment. You let him feel his pride at overcoming the weight of everything he had endured and then you let in settle in the disbelief that he could have something so gentle and pure in his arms.

"She looks like you," he breathed, finally, his voice weighed down by the thick emotion in his throat and then he glanced up at you, his lips twitching into that beautiful, shy smile you had fallen in love with. "Thank God."

You couldn't help but laugh, tears falling down your red cheeks, "You both have that same freckle by your eye," you smile, reaching out a shaky hand to gently caress his arm.

Megumi shifted closer to you, his gaze falling back to your daughter as his thumb traced mindless circles on her blanket. "Hello," he whispered awkwardly, "I'm.. I'm your dad."

You felt your heart swell at the sight of him, this usually stoic man who now looked utterly unguarded. His dark hair fell into his eyes as he bent closer to her, his expression tender in a way you’d rarely seen.

“I promise…” he began, his voice barely audible. “I promise I’ll protect you. No matter what.”

Your tears finally spilled over, and you reached up to wipe them away. “Megumi,” you choked out, your heart bursting with love for both him and your daughter.

He glanced at you, his eyes shining. Without a word, he leaned forward and pressed a soft, hesitant kiss to your forehead. Then, as if she sensed the moment, your daughter let out a small, sleepy sigh, her tiny lips curling slightly.

“She’s perfect,” he whispered, his voice trembling.

You nodded, resting your head against his shoulder as the three of you sat there, wrapped in the warmth of the moment. For the first time in a long while, everything felt right.

As your daughter’s breathing grew slower, her little body curling into Megumi’s chest, he finally let out a shaky breath, his shoulders relaxing.

“I never thought…” he began, then stopped, shaking his head. His voice was quieter when he continued. “I never thought I’d have something this good.”

You reached up, brushing a hand through his hair. “You deserve this, Megumi. We both do.”

The room grew still, the soft sounds of her breathing the only thing breaking the silence. In that moment, nothing else mattered—no fears, no past, no uncertainties about the future. It was just the three of you, a new family, basking in a love so profound it left you both speechless.

TAGLIST

@makingtimemine @strawbrrycat @soraya-daydreams @shokosbunny @saltypuffin1040 @danilights2021 @startwithrecords @obeythebutler @sparklykeylime @surielstea

[lanroman]

Taking Care

first (and last) fic- wrote this a while ago, its been sitting in my docs for over a year and a half probably, i came upon it the other day and i figured... why not share?!

a fluffy one shot about reader taking care of lando after a race!

~5k words

WARNINGS: slight suggestive comments, nakedness but not in a sexual way... if that makes sense...

The car ride back to the hotel was quiet, which was slightly out of the ordinary. Race weekends were always exhausting for Lando, but he’d somehow always find the energy to talk and laugh with you up until the very moment he drifted off to sleep. And when you couldn’t be with him in person, he’d Facetime you and give you a rundown on the race for hours. But this time, he was silent. Today the whirlwind couple of weekends seemed to finally catch up to him, as the high hopes and adrenaline started to fade; he looked exhausted. Even with the exhaustion setting in, he was still sporting the same sweet smile he always did, leaning against your chest in the car's back seat. You’ve been together for about two years, but you still feel those butterflies in your stomach you got at the beginning of your relationship when looking at him even now.

You were the first one to speak up after a few minutes as you were almost to the hotel. “Who’s showering first?�� You looked down at him and spoke softly. 

He perked up a bit, sitting upright, saying, “When have we ever taken turns?” He jokes as you shoot him a look and nudged his chest. He laughs and then speaks again, but his voice is low this time. “You. I’m about to crash. I’ll take one tomorrow.” He sighs rubbing his eyes, his head now leaning against the headrest.

“Baby, you have to take one tonight,” You say, running your fingers through his hair that was slightly tangled at the ends. “you’ll sleep better all cleaned up.” 

He doesn’t offer a verbal response, just a small nod of his head as he closes his eyes.

“I’m taking that as a ‘me first’.” You whisper to him as the car pulls up to the entrance of the hotel. 

You helped with his bags and was practically carrying him into the hotel and up to the room. 

After opening the door, Lando tries to break free from you and headed straight to the bed, with no luck as you drop your bags and clung to his abdomen.

“Y/N please, I’m too tired. I’ll drown.” He says in between laughs. “Baby come on, I’ll help you. I won’t let that happen.” You say directing him to the bathroom.

He sleepily plops down on top of the toilet seat as you crouch down to untie his shoes, taking them off along with his socks. You set them aside and start the water in the shower.

“Ok, arms up.” You say, grabbing the hem of his papaya shirt. He barely reaches his hands over his head as you pull it off him. He winces slightly, putting his hands down and grabbing one of his shoulders. “Lan,” Your eyebrows knit, watching the pain show and leave his face quickly in an attempt to try to hide it. Your hand goes on top of his.

“Just sore. I’m fine.” He says plainly, rolling his shoulders back. You look up at him, unsure if he was just saying that. 

He smiles and chuckles a little bit. “Really, I’m fine.” He grabs your hand that was still on his shoulder and squeezes it. “Well, tell me if it gets any worse, okay?” You said somewhat confident that we is truly fine. He nodded in response.

“Alright. Stand up.”

“I don’t think my legs will let me.” He wines.

“Your pants Lando. Unless you’d like to keep those on?” You laugh.

“I guess not.” He lets out a big sigh, standing up. You stood up too and was about to help him but he let out a weak laugh. “I think I can manage this part myself, baby.” 

“First time for everything.” You said cheekily, going to take off your shirt. He hopped in the shower first, and you followed behind him after everything was off. 

He did not get very far into his shower routine before giving up, only had body wash done by the time you were rinsing your hair. 

“I need help.” He said handing you a bottle of shampoo. You take some and gently work the product in till it bubbled, then washed it out. He let out a soft breath as your fingers went through his hair, making sure the conditioner was thoroughly massaged in. Once you finished rinsing his hair again, you grabbed both of your towels and dried yourself off before wrapping him up and walking him to the bed. 

He sat upright until you weren’t holding onto him any more. He laid down with his legs off the bed, the towel wrapped around his waist. 

“Come on, you just have to get dressed.” You say as somewhat of an encouragement, taking the opportunity to dig in your suitcase to at least put on your undergarments before helping him. 

You turn around once you were finished to see Landos eyes glued to your frame with a wide sly smile on his face.

”Please, you are wide awake, get dressed yourself.” You say, blood rushing to your cheeks, throwing some clothes at him from his suitcase. 

He lets out a chuckle and gets up from the bed walking to you. He moved your hair to the side and plants soft kisses on the back of your neck and shoulder.

“Finding some energy now, hm?” You say tilting your head to the side.

”Maybe just a little.” He lets out a big over dramatic yawn. With a shake of your head and a laugh, you continue to get dressed as he gets grabs his clothes and does the same. You pull him into the bathroom one last time to brush his teeth before he was in bed for good. You had a few more steps of your routine before you were ready for bed, so when you were finished, he was practically one breath away from being fully asleep. You crawled into bed beside him. His arms instinctively pulled you in closer and held you in a comfortable sort of hug.

He lets out a hum, “Thank you for taking care of me. And not just today.” He said barely above a whisper. 

“Of course baby. I love you.” You place a small kiss on his cheek. He smiles with his eyes still closed.

”I love you too.” 

“Goodnight sweet boy.” You said as the butterflies in your stomach flapped their wings again, lulling you to sleep.

a/n: i feel embarrassed, but thanks for reading <3 maybe throw it a like so im not so self-conscious :)

[shomatoriashi]

11/20/24; 08:30pm

{ drabble | comfort fic }

itoshi rin x fem.reader

itoshi rin hated seeing you cry…

he hated the way your lips seemed to tremble as those crystalline droplets would form against those expressive eyes.

he hated the sounds of your choked sobs that echoed throughout the room, seeming to further accentuate your despair and how helpless it made him feel.

but most of all, he hated the loss of your smile.

your smile was what kept the almost obsessive soccer player from breaking down, giving rin the strength to move forward despite the many trials and tribulations he has faced in his life. your sunny personality was enough to light up even his darkest moments in life-

so to hear your broken sobs past the locked door of your shared bedroom-

the sound was physically hurting him, making his heart clench as he found it was getting harder to breathe. your pain resonated deeply with him-

and rin was willing to do anything to get you out of such a slump.

with his lips pursed, he rests his forehead against the cool surface of the door, jostling the knob to find it impossible to budge due to how you had kept it locked. he says your name, failing miserably to conceal the concern in his voice.

“open the door.” rin attempts to keep his voice even all while knocking at the door with his fist clenched. when your soft sobs were all he could hear in response, rin was filled with desperation to reach you.

“come on, open up. w-we…we can talk about it. you don’t have to go through this alone- not when i’m here.”

silence was all rin could hear, and he was ready to kick down this damn door had it not been for the shuffling sounds heard coming from inside the room. a mere few seconds later, rin heard the sound of something clicking before being greeted with the sight of your bloodshot eyes and cheeks that still remained stained and damp with your tears.

he says nothing, allowing your body to fall naturally within his embrace. holding you tightly against his chest, he allows your tears to soak into the fabric of his shirt all while rubbing comforting circles behind your back. no words were spoken, but rin became achingly aware of how your arms tighten around his back, visibly relaxing while in his embrace as you hid your face while within his chest.

“thank you.” your voice was raspy, yet still, you cling to him all the same. letting out a hum of your name, rin continues to hold you tight, swaying your body back and forth in hopes of further soothing you.

a few beats later, you manage to remove your face from his chest, showing him the same smile he had grown to love oh so much. using the pad of his thumb to wipe away your tears while framing at your face, rin basks in the feeling of being your sole source of comfort.

end notes: i literally wrote this in 15 minutes as a form of self therapy for me. this is an unedited mess, but was truly written to help with conveying my feelings ♡

all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!

[talonabraxas]

XVII - The Star Talon Abraxas “Even in the darkest of times, I hold onto hope and renewal. I trust that the light of the universe is leading me and those around me towards a brighter future.” The Star represents the guidance that comes from our highest form of intuition. This card appears when an idea or direction is being revealed to us. The Star shows us where Divine Truth can be found and where new ideas will bear fruit. This wisdom prepares you the next leg of your journey. Rarely will a card in the Tarot tell you so definitively that a clear direction exists and that you know the way.

The north star is also seen as an affirmation of faith and hope. The famous poet Tagore once wrote, “Faith is the bird who feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark”. Similarly, the 17th card of the Major Arcana represents the promise of a new day. The Star asks you to lay down your burden and lift your eyes to the horizon. If you look closely, you can see the gentle promise of light.

The star comforts us in the dark of night, providing direction in times of uncertainty and hope in moments of despair. The Star is an outward projection of the light that exists within all of us, guiding our footsteps and illuminating the path ahead. A bright beacon in an inky sky, The Star shows us the way. Throughout the ages, travelers have used the guidance of the north star and sailors ignore the stars at their peril. All those who are lost at sea will find hope when the clouds part, revealing the way home.

[inkpot909]

Your Relationship Trope (Bucciarati’s Gang)

↳ Gender Neutral Reader. Takes place after the events of Part 5 in a everyone lives!AU.

A/n: It’s been a while! I had to take some time for personal matters, so sorry for my absence. I wrote something just a tad more breezy to help ease myself back into it; I really missed writing. I hope y’all enjoy!

Warning(s): None.

Giorno Giovanna

-> Love at First Sight

This deeply romantic, cheesy, guy.

Because of how much he prides himself on understanding, and by extension owning, his own thoughts and feelings- he could tell there was something drawing him to you the moment he met you. A gut feeling that he’d really care to know you better; one that he knows better than to ignore.

Good luck trying to hide anything from him yourself, either. He is as good at reading others as he is himself.

Therefore, if you felt immediately drawn to him as well, he’s going to notice. You might not say anything outright or maybe try to bury it deep down… but either way, he can tell.

Not that he minds your affections, of course. Giorno gets into this cheeky habit of dangling the concept of a potential relationship above your head. Just out of reach.

Yes, it’s in part because he wants to tease you. Seeing you grow flustered at his unapologetically forward flirtations… it never gets old.

But Giorno is also a very busy individual.

It’s difficult for him to plan meetups with you, being gone for days on end at times. Even up and leaving at the drop of a hat if the need arises. He takes his position seriously, and has been a rather involved Don since day one.

And Giorno is a sucker for the details, so he won’t make the final push to become official unless it’s the perfect moment.

Luckily for you, he’s a patient guy.

And as mentioned, he can read you like an open book. He knows you’re not looking at other men or women. Keenly aware you’re waiting for him to make some grand gesture.

Some guilt inevitably spawns whenever he gets extra busy, but your happiness at getting to see him again quickly puts those worries to rest for the time being.

All that in due time… after all, if it’s really true love, he is in no desire to rush.

That being said, the people in his inner circle would absolutely like him to rush. Who knows about his feelings for you? Everyone.

That’s not hyperbole, he’s fairly certain everyone around him can tell.

He will never shut up about you. In damn near any situation where it may be appropriate. Not in any situation that it would potentially reach your ears.

Mista himself has commented that he doesn’t know which he would prefer: Giorno before a relationship with you or during. Either way he’s ‘dealing with a lovesick fool.’

Giorno doesn’t care much, already knowing it’s something his closest friends ought to get used to. Confident in himself and what he picks up on.

After all, your smile says what his mind is already thinking.

Bruno Bucciarati

-> Reunited Childhood Friends

Bruno Bucciarati is a man that has stuck with the same haircut and pattern of clothing since he was twelve years old.

Of course he’s still not over you by the time of the inevitable reunion. Like Giorno, he’s definitely a ‘one love’ sort of man.

Getting contacted by you felt like a dream… but it also brought forth initial hesitation.

Due to the specific turn his life took, he had to leave a lot of things behind. Some more regrettable than others… and you were one of his biggest regrets for a long time.

Regardless, his heart won that day- as he agreed to meeting up with you faster than he would care to admit.

The excitement and build up to it after a date was set is a beast in of itself. The prospect of finally seeing you again after all these years fills his chest with a warmth he’s only ever associated with you.

His mind whirls, all his thoughts leading back to the hope that he’ll get to know the person you have matured into.

Your career, hobbies, how your family is doing, the path you’ve been walking down ever since he’d left its course far too long ago… and him praying there’s a distinct lack of a ring on your left hand.

Bruno’s glad to say that his hopes were well-placed. Upon seeing you again, you proved to be just as eager to know how he’s been doing all this time.

Your questions leave him feeling bittersweet; something he knew would happen.

How could he even begin to explain himself? Would he even want to? You deserve more than a short explanation or a lie. But he cannot and will not bring you into gang affairs either. And if he was honest…. where would he even begin?

“I committed murder to protect my father when I was twelve and ended up entangled in gang affairs. Sorry for not giving you a phone call.”

… it needs work, to put it lightly.

He’s not the type to succumb to fear but… it’s difficult not to stress over what you would think of him if he’s completely honest with you. It’s a testament to how deeply special you are to him; hardly ever getting this mentally worked up over anything outside his beloved team.

The push and pull of wanting to be honest with you- yet not wanting to risk putting a target on your back.

Whether it’s due to the years of separation or just the undeserved kindness you offer him, at some point, you admit to only thinking of those old days fondly.

Regardless of being quite startled with his sudden absence in your life, you couldn’t hold it against him. You knew of his parents divorce, and the last thing you had heard, was that Bruno’s father was in the hospital.

At first, he’s just resigns himself into being gratefyl you had it within yourself to forgive him.

But how can he hope to ignore… how lovely of a person you have grown up to be- inside and out. In the long run, it just doesn’t happen. His feelings truly snowballing for the first time in years.

Suddenly, he feels like a foolish child again. Only now, he must be doing something right because you could cause traffic to stop with the way you start to look at him.

There’s a warm nostalgia to you. Someone who knows him; truly knows him. Outside of his work and the contradictions he over for it for years.

And it gets to a point where Bruno resolves he must tell you how he feels. And by then, he won’t dally.

You’re back in his life again, and he’s sure as hell not leaving. Especially not without expressing his feelings.

Only took him short of nine years.

Leone Abbacchio

-> ‘We’re Just Coworkers’

He doesn’t necessarily meet people outside Passione, not one to go out of his way to seek companionship.

He has the team. He has Bucciarati. There isn’t much he wants, or feels like he can, ask for.

It’s because of this that you both are most likely to meet through the organization.

And there’s no doubt that Abbacchio is… apathetic to your position in the gang at first.

Now, he’s not as harsh on you as he was comparatively to Giorno. You’re not a fifteen year old with a savior complex and a tendency to act with a sort of righteous grandeur.

So, in short, you’re already doing great as far as he’s concerned.

Not that he warms up to you quickly; quite the opposite. Weeks will pass before he starts to slowly accept and involve you in any meaningful capacity. A guy like him just needs time to get used to someone so new to him… lots and lots of time.

Once that need has been met, he figures you’re alright.

Not bad company- in or out of Passione business. Far favorable to other people around him, as far as he’s concerned. He finds that you’re much better to converse with than Mista or Fugo.

It’s in his nature to compare a little bit, so when he starts seeing you from a fairer perspective… that’s when a quiet appreciation forms.

Alas, his heart is not as immovable as he likes believing it to be.

Over time, the two of you start to metaphorically lean on one another.

It starts off professionally enough, relying on one another in the heat of battle. Then, it gets to a more personal level- quieter conversations maintained between the two of you beneath the usual noise of the others interacting just a foot or two away.

Still, you two only work together. It’s professional. Without question. At least, that’s the case if Abbacchio or you are asked about it directly.

But the others are oh-so-quick-to-point-out that him letting you crash on his bed during particularly exhausting nights is not exactly platonic behavior. Nor is just how sucked into conversations the two of you get, or how much time you spend one-on-one.

And Abbacchio is nothing if not the type to do the exact opposite of what everyone says.

He’s going to deny it for months. Hell, years if you let him.

Never mind the fact the two of you already act like a couple. Getting ‘mistaken’ as one when going out, regardless if it’s just the two of you or not. Each time, you’re both insistent that you’re merely work friends.

It would be ten times more frustrating if there wasn’t any truth to it that neither of you are prepared to admit to.

It takes a healthy amount of whack cartoonish logic for things to finally fall into place. Being locked in a small room for twenty minutes, or possibly an accidental kiss to the lips… that sort of thing.

Guido Mista

-> Coffee Shop Regular

Mista likes the simple things in life, no doubt.

There’s many ways that fact manifests. One example is that he often wanders around the city in order to check out local businesses. Diners, secondhand stores, and little coffee shops. He knows the area well, and likes sparking up conversations with the people he comes across.

And a cute worker at one of his favorite coffee shops? Makes his day even better, he’d figure.

He was already a regular at your place of employment long before you were hired. Meaning, when he saw a new face behind the counter, he had to offer a hello with a relaxed smile on his face.

And to his credit, it was incredibly easy to like him.

The type of customer who’s always in a decent mood, not too impatient, and always knowing what he wanted to order long before walking in.

Sprinkle in a pleasant ‘hello’ or a lighthearted joke every now and then, and he starts to notice your face brightening every time he enters the shop.

He won’t argue against the idea it fills him with something far deeper than pride.

Beyond finding you initially attractive, he considers you a good worker. He cannot imagine being a barista is always easy, but he’d care to point out that you make it look easy. You know his order by memory after a while, and conversation with you comes naturally.

And soon, the workplace barrier is finally shattered. Happening so casually it was practically thoughtless.

One day, Mista walked into the store just when you were sent on a break. He greeted you as always, and offered to sit with you while you decompressed with a cup of coffee of your own.

That’s when he’d say that something a bit more concrete formed. More real, past the relationship of worker and patron.

And he grows unapologetically forward by then too.

He’s not the type to hit on you at work, but certainly not above blatantly asking for your number after he felt it may be appropriate to do so.

He finds it to be a casual and natural progression, something that is in his nature to embrace.

Like Giorno, though, he’ll drag out the time before asking you out just in order to tease you. He doesn’t automatically figure out that you might be into him, but he’ll get the hint by the time you two start calling one another regularly.

He’s not easily affected by the others teasing him over you, either. He openly admits that he’s into you, why get embarrassed?

Now, if someone makes a comment about it in front of you, then he’ll get flustered. An emotion expressed through frustration and defensiveness.

Regardless of that, it’s such a relaxed progression that at some point he thinks meeting you may have been fate. There’s a ton of coffee shops all around Naples, yet you chose to work at one of the small handful he regularly likes visiting.

If his life is predetermined, like he believes it is, then he’s grateful fate is on his side.

Pannacotta Fugo

-> Friends to Lovers

This man looks at someone with a view on love like Giorno and scoffs with distain.

The notion of ‘love at first sight’ is one that is only entertained by foolish and idealistic individuals, according to Fugo. Rolling his eyes, a scoff escaping his lips… he thinks that mindset is ridiculous and is unafraid to express it.

Hell, romantic relationships aren’t even on his radar in general.

He doesn’t look down on or think negatively of anyone in one, of course. But it’s hardly ever on his mind. Focused on Passione and the team he is proud to be a part of.

And that doesn’t change one bit upon meeting you.

As usual, such a thing doesn’t cross his mind once. The prospect of a potential new ally and friend is the only one he cares to ponder, even if you start off on the right foot. He’s a little distant, but polite and fair enough to give you a chance.

Good thing he did to, as far as hindsight is concerned.

A funny individual and someone who hardly ever makes him want to flip a table? He’s glad to call you his friend once a foundation of trust is established.

If he thinks about it, he’d have to admit to himself there’s something very earnest and warm about the relationship.

You’re a good conversationalist, he respects your intelligence, and even silence around you is comfortable.

More than that, you’re reliable. Stress doesn’t come quite as easy whenever you’re around. And when it does, you understand him. You know just what to say and how to say it. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try to express the same kindness.

He starts thinking of you when you’re not around, especially when he’s alone. Thinking of anything from a fond or humorous memory, or simply the curve of your smile.

Oh… oh no.

Tackling his own growing feelings is a lengthy process. He wasn’t interested in seeking out a partner, but he catches feelings before he even realizes it.

And figuring out your feelings on the matter? Forget it.

He won’t say a thing unless you make a move yourself, too wary to even admit he could realistically do something himself. A fact the others are quite keen on reminding him of.

His insecurity won’t last forever, though.

Being around you is such a joy that it’s hard to get trapped in his own mind in the moment. That smile on your face, and sentences leaving your lips in the familiar tones of your voice…

You are his friend first and foremost; someone he feels he can really talk to and trust.

And that’s why you turn out to be everything he didn’t know he’d ever hope for.

Narancia Ghirga

-> Will They, Won’t They?

Giorno is going to start making Narancia pay for his therapy appointments. Abbacchio once made a sarcastic remark about wanting to start drinking again because of this. Mista has given Narnacia approximately twenty three lectures over the subject. Fugo is pulling his hair out.

And really, who can blame any of them?

Having to watch you and Narancia interact on a regular basis is a frustrating experience- to put it lightly.

That feeling only heightened by the fact that it’s something no one feels as though they can even comment directly on whenever you and Narancia are both around. Simply swallowing any words bubbling to the surface.

All this to say, Narancia falls for you quickly and he falls hard.

At first, there wasn't a single complaint to be had from anyone on the team. On the contrary, the others took the time to hype him up with wide smiles and pats on his back.

Narancia himself is excited to be experiencing something as genuinely sweet and grounded as a crush, and that elation was contagious.

But then a couple weeks pass... then a month... then another month... then another....

If the others were a smidge more invasive, they would've just pushed you two in front of one another yelling 'to just get on with it already' months ago.

Specifically Fugo, who actively lets it get to him in a way that Narancia merely huffs at. Sometimes offering a noncommittal response if he feels it’s necessary.

It doesn't matter how much his former tutor gets on his case, Narancia’s not budging. A light blush present on his face when he insists for the hundredth time that there's no way you could possibly feel the same.

Your own friends go through a very similar situation on the other end of things.

Similarly with someone like Abbacchio, the two of you act like a couple far before anything is set in stone. Unlike him, it's less causal and downright mind-boggling to the people around you.

Your legs lazily draped over his lap, going on drives that last for hours at a time, one barely ever seen without the other, and talking about each other constantly.

The latter became so frequent that Giorno once had to pull Narancia aside and tell him to stop mentioning you at Passione meetings.

Narancia has to bit his lip just to stop himself, but he manages. Much to the Don’s relief- never wanting to have that kind of conversation with a friend again.

Giorno cannot and won't try to control him outside of work, though, so it was merely half the battle.

Not that Narancia particularly minds the others' reactions to it very much.

Months into his affections and he's gotten used to the constant stream of teasing. Besides, he lies to himself figures that maybe they're just jealous. He wouldn’t blame them if that’s the case, finding you as special as any person can be.

Regardless of what anyone says, the sweetness is there.

An amusement to be had over how truly clueless the both of you are, despite interacting with flushed faces and stuttering words. It’s sweet, then annoying to the point where it circles around to being funny.

But you and Narancia retreat into your own little world where all of that melts away. He’s loyal, and since you hold his heart, it would be an understatement to say you’re just important to him.

Who will give in and admit the crush first? It's up in the air.

[efingart]

Into You

Frank Woods x Mila (CoD Bell)

Warnings: sensuality (I think that's right? There's no sex but it's clear it's gonna happen)

I am working on the requests, I promise. But Mila would not leave me ALONE about Frank's hair until I wrote this so here you go. I'm a very slow writer until I'm not lol.

It was only a few moments after he slipped from his chair back into bed that she began to stir. Mila was always a light sleeper and Frank had expected her to notice him coming back to bed. He had hoped he could avoid waking her fully so he stayed still to see what she would do.

“Frank,” She said softly, his name a contented hum on her lips. Then she scooted closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. The feeling of her skin against his gave him a little thrill, as it always had. Even after all these years.

She pressed her lips against the back of his neck. At least she wasn’t upset with him for leaving the bed in the middle of the night. He knew it hurt her when she’d wake up to find him gone. Sleeping on the cot in the briefing room instead of their warm bed together. Her fingers combed through his hair, the tips cold against his warm skin. She ran cold he ran hot. It’s how they were.

Then she stopped suddenly and made a curious sound. He wondered what had grabbed her attention. Her fingers sifted through his hair as if examining something.

“What?” Frank asked after a moment. But she didn’t respond. He felt the bed shift as she sat up. He rolled onto his back to look at her, appreciating the way the moonlight skimmed over her body. The cool light highlighted just the edge of her naked form.

“I didn’t see it before,” She said. Her fingers were still in his hair, though his head had her hand pinned down against his pillow. “What?” He asked again, a little irritated that she hadn’t answered him yet. “It must be the stress, but you’re going gray in the back-��� “Oh come on, Mila. Don’t remind me-” “No it’s cute!” She insisted. “Cute? No guy wants to hear that.” “Ok ok,” She said, rolling her eyes. “It’s sexy. Whatever.” “You like that?” “You know I do. Let me look,” She said, pulling on his shoulder to get him to turn over. “No! Come on, go to sleep.”

She frowned and then threw a leg over his hips. He should have been expecting this. She planted her hands on either side of his head. Frank took in a breath as he looked up at her. He couldn’t help but wonder what she was still doing with him. It’s not something he’d say out loud, knowing she’d only ask him what he was doing with her. It was part of why they worked, he supposed.

“Any excuse, huh?” Frank asked with a chuckle. He trailed his fingers along her bare thighs. Mila let out a sensuous hum in response as she rolled her hips against him. She ran her fingers through his hair again. Then she leaned forward, pressing her body into him. Her lips met his and she kissed him deeply. Her fingers curled in his hair giving it the slightest tug.

“Gray hairs, huh?” Frank said when she pulled out of the kiss and moved down to his neck. “Always surprises me what you’re into.”

“I’m into you,” She said, her lips brushing his neck as she spoke.

He placed his hand under her chin, angling her head so he could kiss her. Then he cradled her face in his hands, holding her head in place as he kissed her long and slow. She moaned into his mouth in a way that told him they weren’t going to get much sleep that night.

“I’m glad you came back to bed,” She said. “Yeah me, too.”

[nickrocketrodriguez]

Hello, Nick! Can you share with us some of your favorite scenes into the writing process of Jurassic World: Chaos Theory? Or even some scenes that didn't end up on the show but you liked it?

Gosh, we wrote these so long ago it's so hard to come up with specifics. For the episodes I wrote, I loved writing the scenes in "Halfway Home" between Daniel and Kenji. I have a relationship in my own life that mirrors (to a certain extent) theirs, so to be able to put all of myself into that episode -- my first as a staff writer on a TV series -- was very special for me. It really allowed me to completely open myself up to working with other writers to intimately. I also get a giggle out of the part where Kenji doesn't have the words to describe Daniel's ultimatum, so he just grunts -- I didn't know if it would make anyone else laugh, but it seemed to, so it stayed! That was pretty fun.

"The Drop" was a bit tougher for me, as it was a pretty pivotal moment between Darius and Kenji. In their scene where they struggle over possession of Brooklynn's phone, I really wanted Darius to rear back to take a swing at Kenji, but for some reason, in a show where people are eaten by dinosaurs, throwing punches (or even implying it) was a no-go, but what ended up in there was still really fun and to the spirit of what I was trying to do.

"Batten Down the Hatches" was sooooo much fun to write as a horror and action fan -- I feel like the team really took what I wrote and ran with it in the best possible way! Seeing that one at SDCC with a group of like 800 fans was something I will never forget. People laughed, gasped, shouted at the screen -- it was just such a cool moment for me.

But getting to introduce Soyona Santos was also such a special thing for me. As I've said in the past, getting to write for Dichen Lachman was such a fanboy moment for me, I'm so glad I got to reintroduce her to the world and help usher in a more three dimensional version of the character than there was time for in Dominion. I love the cat-and-mouse vibe of their conversation. There's also the bit that I'm not sure many picked up on where Santos is the one who uses the term, "limb difference" for the first time in the series. Our consultants had taught me that phrase, and I thought it was an interesting choice for Santos to introduce it to Brooklynn. The thinking was somewhere along the lines of, in her quest to get deeper into the trafficking of dinos, she probably didn't have a ton of time to look into how she was really feeling about losing her arm, let alone find anyone else who'd introduce that phrase to her. So when Santos uses it, there's a split second where Brooklynn kinda connects with it. I think it shows that Santos isn't just a mustache-twirly type of villain. She's intelligent, she's hip to how language has evolved, and she might even be a good person in another life. There was a moment where it was called into question whether or not Santos would use the phrase, so I'm especially glad we got to keep it in there.

And don't even get me started on the episodes my amazing colleagues wrote for the rest of the series. They all did such an incredible job, I don't even have enough words to express how awesome their episodes turned out, not to mention how awesome all of the rest of the crew did in bringing the show to life!!

[nectardaddy]

SERENDIPITY . . . kita shinsuke + f! reader 

⤷ cartoon bandaids

notes/CWs: hurt comfort, very subtle mention of parental death, near anxiety/panic attack, blood, overstimulation from sound, kita makes it all better I stg, I wrote this in a single hour so don't look at my typos 

The bathroom was eerily quiet, barren in sound other than the leaky sink she sat next to - a sink her father told her he'd fix, but never did. The constant drip into the porcelain made her flinch here and there, some splashes louder than others, as the sound seemed to echo and the world got smaller. She brought her legs up to her chest as the drip got louder; she sat on the floor of the bathroom with her back against the bathtub, and closed her eyes when the sound became almost deafening.

Drip.

She didn't mean to fly off the handle again. Didn't mean for her words to land sour with a farm hand - who now worked for her instead of her father. Didn't mean for it to escalate so quickly; although; she did mean to punch them.

Drip.

She could feel the blood still pooling in her mouth, a busted lip still bleeding due to a fight just moments ago. She could feel her knuckles getting sore; blood slipped down her fingers and dripped onto the floor next to her. She could feel the sharp pain in her cheek, a large bruise already forming along her cheek bone just under her eye.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Then a knock.

She took a shaky breath as her body jerked at the sound; albeit soft, the sudden noise yanked her from hyper-focusing on the broken tap and onto the door. She heard her name, a question, a gentle concern, until the door opened.

She knew who it was before he walked in, knew the way he knocked twice instead of the usual three times like others did. Knew his voice despite the whisper he spoke in beyond the wooden door. Knew he would always ask to come in before fully entering.

“Can I join you?”

She nodded silently and averted her eyes to the ground, traced over the old grout of the bathroom tiles that needed replacing and rested her chin on her knee. She felt his presence next to her, felt him stare so deep into her soul that it began to hurt, until he finally dropped down and sat beside her.

“You okay?”

She nodded again silently. It wasn't usual for the woman to shut down after such an altercation; her normal routine went from fight to flight, so she escaped after the war was won. Locked herself away, as to not be lectured from her father - but her father wasn't there anymore. Only her. But old habits die hard.

Without looking over, she could tell his eyes immediately stopped at the blood on her hands. They usually did. As his first instinct was to care and to maintain, while hers was to continue on, even with rusty, old parts.

“You're bleedin’, honey.”

“Most of it isn't mine.” A curt reply all the while keeping her eyes to the ground.

“But some of it is,” she heard him let out a gentle breath. “Can I clean it off?”

She nodded.

A sense of hatred crept into her veins as she knew the peroxide and bandages were in the cabinet beside her.

Drip.

She hated that it was so close to her.

Drip.

Hated that what was needed to clean wounds was already there.

Drip.

Hated that this happened so often he knew exactly where everything was.

Drip.

“Please fix that god damn sink tomorrow or I'm rippin’ it out myself!” Her voice was loud in comparison to the latter silence, echoing off the bathroom walls and making him flinch. “It's driving me insane, Shinsuke! I can't fuckin’ think without hearing that god forsaken thing dripping!”

Then there was silence again.

He looked over to her in concern, his brows scrunched together as he stopped himself from grabbing anything else from the cabinet. He was still, quiet, as he looked over her face, that was bruised and contorted in anguish, almost desperation, before he gave her a soft smile.

“I'll fix it later today if you want? It won't take long.”

She nodded and finally found it within her to look up at him. Kita was always, without fail, gentle and kind - something that she envied, but never voiced - loving and selfless. She wished to be more like him, but her only folly was her ease to anger.

He was gentle when he asked for her hands, gentle when he wiped the dried blood from her knuckles, gentle when he cleaned them despite her hiss of pain. He was loving when he asked which bandaid she wanted, as all they had were choices of cartoons - she chose one with an Eevee, and said it made her think of him. He was loving when he carefully placed it, and loving when he kissed it after.

“Thank you.” Two words she rarely ever said, as she saw it weak to need the help of others.

“For what?”

“Takin’ care of me.”

“I love you too much not to, honey.” 

taglist (open, send an ask)

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@h3xi2g0n3 @localgaytrainwreck @mollyrolls @causenessus @diorzs

@rory-cakes @phoenix-eclipses @pattys-got-cakes @girlkissersco

@jaynawayna @aliensstolemyheart @le000xxgrd @cherrypieyourface @theycallmenanamisgirl

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@sandwhitches @angelichwv @wakashudou

[evansbuck-ley]

yk what i have been thinking about? the bucktommy beginning was sm about tommy teaching and showing buck new things. and it felt so romantic and hot. but now 8x06 has recontexualized everything in a bad way. 😩

it seems like they never had any casual talks about buck's newly discovered queerness. just, yk, hey, how are you feeling two months into this relationship? do you still have moments where you worry what others might think? buck put a rainbow emoji in his public instagram account during pride, has queer friends, and... he apparently did nothing with his personal queer revelations?

they apparently also never talked about exes and what they did in their lives before meeting and how they want their lives to look like in their future and their personal boundaries and and and... like, you ask those big questions (family plans, financial situation, hobbies, job situation, etc.) in the dating phase, which is before you actually commit to a person in an exclusive monogamous way! why invest in a relationship when you don't even ask if the other is looking for something long-term lol?

the fact that 8x06 also confirmed that they spend a lot of time together just makes things worse because 1.) what the fuck have you been doing all this time then, both individually and together, and 2.) then it makes even less sense for buck to ask tommy to move in or for tommy to break up immediately or for both wanting to reach out because how did they even reach the 6 month mark without talking? without learning anything of importance about each other and themselves?

it makes canon bucktommy look like every other shallow short-term fling that buck had so far. could have simply been fuck buddies and they would have had the same level of knowledge about each other after 6 months. just hate how this one episode retrospectively fucked over canon bucktommy in so many different ways ☹️

8x06 is straight up trash. fact.

if they had always planned for them to break up they could have done it SO much better and not leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. And you are right, contextually it makes the whole six months they were together seem so…meh.

and as much as people joke about buck speed running his bisexual awakening, since the first initial story line, has anyone really acknowledged it? are you telling me that hen has not even spoken to buck about what this all means to him? wdym known research freak evan buckley didn’t spent all night after tommy kissed him deep diving into this whole new side to him. they simply said “look he is bi and now has a boyfriend” and moved on. they don’t even SAY the word bisexual in the show. which is just fucking insane to me. they just skate around it in such a horrendous way.

and don’t even get me started on the Abby side of things because I absolutely DESPISE it. it’s such lazy writing.

but on the flip side, contextually 8x06 gave us so much good. buck was ready for something more with tommy, he was ready to live together and grow old together. he was ready for tommy to be just last. same for tommy, he wanted all that with buck. buck was also tommy’s last and they had so much opportunity to really dig into his character, to explore why he was scared to go there with buck. but again, they just wrote it off.

we also have previous episodes that actively show that this isn’t just a fling, especially for tommy. he showed up to the cafe simply because buck asked. he came to the hospital after fighting a fire because he made a promise and buck got a lil pouty about it. he showed up for buck again and again in 8x05 because he clearly cared.

for me personally, 8x06 doesn’t make their whole relationship seem like a fling. for me, it shows that these two characters care about each other so much, but clearly lack some communication of how they feel and where they both are, in the context of their relationship and in the context of their own personal journey’s.

[biggest-vi-defender]

you cannot convince me that jinx’s little “looking… good, sis” wasn’t her genuinely attempting to connect w vi right then and there.

like, yes, it was obv a joke/sarcastic, bc vi looked anything but “good” in that moment, but it was playful, and fairly open/vulnerable in a way, esp considering the way she smiled.

one thing i’ve noticed abt jinx and vi is that when they aren’t good at dissolving tension, they’ll try to crack a light (usually bad) joke to the person they wanna talk to/connect with and smile. they actually have a habit of joking whenever they feel uncomfortable or upset, as they both do it multiple times throughout s1 and now s2.

like, when vi made that joke abt caitlyn almost getting herself killed and smiling/chuckling awkwardly, jinxy poo essentially does the same thing.

hell, she literally even wrote her name on her own face the way vi’s roman numeral tattoo looks like her own name on her face. she still admires vi and still wants to be like her to an extent, still full of sm love for her older sister.

jinx just wants to connect with her so bad, guys. 😭 it’s so precious, she just rly and clearly misses her. they both deeply miss each other.

she literally attempts to bond and joke w vi throughout ep. 5 in an attempt to connect and establish that bond with her again, even if vi is too depressed and irritated/angry to accept it initially.

even jinx’s little “she wasn’t always like this. she was actually pretty cool, until i kicked her butt.” was an attempt at bonding to me.

imo, she isn’t genuinely trying to insult vi or her strength, she’s being playful and silly, the way a younger sister would be playfully bratty and annoying towards their older sibling.

esp since jinx swears now, her saying “butt” instead of “ass” (when she literally says “before i kick your ass again” just moments later, showing her growing irritation towards vi) to me says that she’s not being serious here. still just attempting to bond, attempting to be playful with her.

she even came for vi so she could see and be reunited with vander in the first place, and she even allows both her and isha to walk in front of vi as they walk through the tunnels.

not to mention, the way she was rooting for vi to win during her cage fights.

she clearly still trusts, believes in, and loves vi so much like she did as a child, and even now. their relationship is battered and damaged but it isn’t dead or gone forever, not at all.

and don’t even get me started on “he’s YOUR father, too.” UGHHHH SHE LOVES HER SO BAD, GUYS. 😭 she just wants that connection. she wants her family again, and she wants them all to be happy and alive.

those sisters and that family will always love each other.

[jjssweetlover]

first time with jj? he's just such a sweet boy and so kind 😕

maybe the reader is insecure/feels like he'll look at her differently (similar to sarah's problem in season one) but he's just so sweet and gentle and attentive.

still my girl

pairings: jj maybank x fem!reader

info/warnings: smut, fingering, pinv, oral (fem receiving), reader is a virgin, jj is experienced, established relationship, unprotected sex, sex on jjs new boat?? slightly sensitive!reader.

asks: open! 𝜗𝜚

a/n: thank you for this anon!! this is the sweetest idea, hopefully i wrote it to your liking!

going on a boat ride at night is what you needed. it was so peaceful and pure. and after everything you guys went through you needed it. things started slow, out on the water and looking up at the stars while laying on a towel.

but now jj was on top of you leaving the sweetest kisses to your skin. and it felt good, it felt amazing. but you knew what this led to, you knew it led to questions and answers that left you embarrassed. jj didn’t really know you were a virgin, just that you and him have never done it.

he was okay with you wanting to wait and respected your time. but honestly, how could the man be so oblivious to the truth? if your awkward kisses weren’t already a give away then what would be? you didn’t wanna say it to him straight up; it was embarrassing.

you knew he was experienced, everyone did. you didn’t want to scare him off, you didn’t want him to question why, you didn’t want to be that vulnerable. his mouth trailing down your neck snapped you out of your thoughts. he was sucking and biting on just the right area.

light whimpers fell from your lips which caused jj to groan in return. his hand began to trail down your stomach, sliding up your tank top and stopping on your stomach. he pulled away and looked at you and you knew why, yet you were frozen. the moment felt so right, you felt so ready. so why couldn’t you do it? why couldn’t you say anything?

he gazed down upon you with a look on his face you’ve never seen before. his face spoke of love but his eyes were full of lust. but it wasn’t a bad kind, it was the kind that made you feel beautiful. when you looked at him everything changed. you knew you needed to tell him.

“jayj.. i needa tell you somethin’..” your words came out before you could even fully process it. he hummed and nodded, tucking your hair behind your ear. “what’s up?” he whispered, you loved when he talked so soft with you. your mouth opened but stayed silent, your gaze looked away from him and focused on the side of the boat. “i’m a virgin.” the words sounded so cowardly coming from your mouth. you felt so embarrassed you didn’t want to look him in the eye.

his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes widened for a moment before he leaned down and left a kiss to your cheek. “look at me, please?” and with his tone so pleading you couldn’t say no. you fixed your gaze on him and let out a sigh, scanning his face for any look of disgust or judgement. but all you found was the same loving look from moments before.

his forearms rested on either side of your head and he brushed his thumb back and forth on your forehead. “that’s okay— it’s okay if you aren’t ready.” and he sounded so so genuine. you were ready though, you knew you were. but you just couldn’t get yourself to say it.

“i’m just scared” your voice cracked as the words came out, and suddenly your face felt damp. what an embarrassing moment to be crying. his arm moved to bring his hand to your face and his thumb wiped away your tears. he gave you a look and without his words you knew he was asking why. you whispered your words out, looking at his lips instead of his eyes. “i’m scared that you’ll see all of me, and that you won’t like it.” he immediately shook his head. “i could never feel that way about you. nothing you do could change how i feel.” his words were true, you could tell. jj may lie to the law a lot, but he never lies to you.

there was silence for a moment before he spoke again. “when you’re ready i’ll be there, i’m okay with waiting for you.” he was the sweetest boy you’ve ever laid your eyes on. you shook your head and leaned in for a kiss. you pulled away and nodded. “i want to.” at first he was confused by your words, but when it hit him he furrowed his brows and smiled. “are you sure?” his voice had excitement in it, you could tell. you nodded your head and gave him an audible “yes.”

immediately his mouth was back on your neck, kissing down to your collar bone. his hand went back under your shirt were it was 5 minutes earlier. you hummed and kissed the top of his head. you pushed him away from you and sat up halfway. he looked at you worried, thinking he might’ve done something wrong. but when your hands went to the bottom of your tank top and slid it off, he couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his lips.

he leaned down and his lips made contact with the top of your breasts that spilled over your bra. “you’re so beautiful..” he mumbled into your soft skin. you let out a sigh at the feeling. he pulled away and looked down at you, his hands going down to your shorts. you nodded and right away felt his fingers lightly unbuttoning your shorts and sliding them down. you were left in just your bra and underwear, and being on the water meant it was colder. he moved to hover over you fully, his body heat warming you.

he went back to kissing your chest while his right hand trailed down and into your underwear. he ran a finger through your folds and let out a needy groan. he stopped his middle finger on your clit and began a light rubbing motion. you gasped and clutched onto his shoulders. his fingers were cold and calloused, but he was so good at what he was doing. he let out a low laugh, the vibrations being felt on the skin of your breast. “you’re being so good..” he pulled away to mumble. you moved your hips slightly and he pulled away to look at you.

he moved back and pulled his hand out, your face quickly turning to a frown but not for long. he pulled down your underwear slowly and placed his hands under your knees, lifting them up so that your legs were bent. “open your legs for me. please, sweet girl?” his voice sounded so pleading and kind. no matter how embarrassed you were you did it, your knees separated and your feet shuffled over. you looked up at the stars as your back laid flat, too scared to look jj in his eyes.

“you’re so beautiful.” he gawked in awe, moving to rest between your legs and hover over you again. he gave your hip a squeeze as he moved his hand back down to your area. he ran his middle finger down through your folds and to your entrance, circling it before pushing his finger in. you bit your lip and furrowed your brows. it felt so much different when it was somebody else doing this to you. his finger curled up and moved at a steady pace, only pulling out slightly before pushing back in. it felt perfect. this was your first time and yet it’s like he already knows your body. you felt the pressure of his ring finger being added and shifted your hips, pushing down against up with a quiet moan. he kissed your jaw and smiled.

“it’s okay to make noise baby.” his tone was so condescending but his intentions weren’t. you huffed and leaned in to his him, your hands holding his cheeks as you sucked at his upper lip. his fingers moved at a faster pace now, pulling further out and pushing in harder than before while his thumb rubbed your clit. you felt your stomach tightening and knew you were getting closer. it was a feeling you’ve felt before, but your own fingers could never do as good as jjs were right now. he could feel the rise and fall of your stomach against him picking up pace and your kisses become more sloppy as you sighed into his mouth.

he pulled his fingers out and pulled back from you, slowly moving his whole body down. you let out a frustrated groan and looked at him confused. “what? why’d you-” and before you could finish your sentence his tongue was on your clit. you gasped and looked down at him, pulling his hair as your legs involuntarily closed around his head. “you— you don’t have to do that” you spoke winded. he hummed against you in response, not stopping the moments of his tongue as he brought his pointer and ring finger back to your entrance and pushed them in. the combination was quick to bring that knot in your stomach back as your legs shook and tightened around his head. your back lifted off the ground and you let out a high pitched moan, you didn’t even know you could do that.

you could feel his stupid smile against your skin. his fingers pumped at a rapid pace while his lips sucked at your clit. you were in shock. your breathing sped up and your grip on his hair became tighter. you let out soft, loud moans as you hit your high. your body twitched slightly and your hips ground against his face.

as you came down from your orgasm your back flattened against the floor again, your legs fell slightly more open and your chest rose and fell faster with deep breaths. jj sat up fully and smiled at you, licking his lips and wiping his mouth. he crawled back over you and leaned in to kiss you. you could taste yourself on him and it was weird, but it wasn’t bad. “you taste so good” he mumbled into your lips. his hand went to tug down his shorts and boxers halfway, pumping himself a few times before he pulled away and looked at you.

“are you sure you wanna do this? i mean it when i say we can sto-” you didn’t let him finish his sentence and cut him off with a deep kiss. you pulled away with a nod. he smiled down at you and nodded back, guiding himself to your entrance before he slowly pushed in. it was a painful stretch, but easier since he had used his fingers before hand.

when he was halfway in he stopped, sitting and letting you get used to the feeling. you had a look on your face that was a mix of pain and confusion. it was an unknown feeling. you tapped his shoulder and gave him a sign to keep moving. he pushed himself in the rest of the way slowly and as you felt the stretch grow you couldn’t fight against the urge to shut your eyes and wince. he scanned your face and kissed your cheek.

“hey you’re okay, it’s okay. it’s gonna hurt a bit, it’ll feel so good after baby.” his words were so comforting, and somehow attractive. “you’re being so good, my gorgeous girl.” he whispered the words in your ear. you opened your eyes and took a deep breath, wiggling your hips a bit as a way to tell him he could move. he nodded and pulled out before pushing back in at a slow, but hard pace. it was like all the pain had faded away and suddenly this was the best thing you’ve ever felt. each time he pulled out and pushed back in he hit every spot inside of you so perfectly. it was like he was made for you. each stroke of him brushing against your cervix. you wrapped your legs around him and leaned your head back.

“faster” you asked him in a whisper. you didn’t even expect yourself to do that. and as his pace picked up and his hips began to slam into you harder you let out a strangled moan. one that had been waiting to come out. you could hear him laugh while he leaned down to kiss your neck. his hips bucked into you at such a perfect pace. his hand came down to rub your clit and you gasped. the added sensation with the pressure of him pushing into you almost felt like too much.

“thank you jay… thank you, thank yo-” and you didn’t even know exactly why you were thanking him but you were cut off by a loud whimper. he nipped at your skin and groaned with each stroke that he made. it was like he was engraving himself into all of you.

you felt that sensation in your stomach all over again, somehow more powerful this time. you clawed at jjs back and your legs tightened around him, pulling him in closer. your eyes shut and you let out loud, strangled moans as you came. the sight and sounds were enough to push jj off the edge, he pulled out and gave himself a few pumps before he came on your stomach. you both sat in eachothers company for a minute, catching your breath as the sound of the waves crashing took over.

“you were so good, so beautiful.” jj spoke in winded whispers. “i love you” he said it proudly with a smile, leaning down and kissing you as he grabbed his shirt and used it to wipe off your stomach before moving down to wipe your lower area. he started to gather your clothes and helped you stand up, sliding your shirt on over your head and helping you button your shorts as he hugged you from behind. he left light kisses to your shoulder as he fixed your hair. he helped you sit back down after and sat across from you.

“just so you know, i don’t see you any different. you’re still my girl.”his words came out with a laugh, but that’s just how jj talks. he made you feel so comfortable during all of it and even if you felt different about yourself for now you trusted that his opinion on you didn’t change in any way. you trusted that he really does love you.

[xiuminsmygrandpa]

I'm rereading a diary entry I wrote a few years ago and it reminded me of Charles Rowland. Since it's pretty lengthy I'll only pull out the parts I think are relevant to his character.

"When I was a kid I assumed there was something so inherently wrong with me, so unlovable that no one would ever want to be my friend."

I was never physically abused when I was a child but my dad came very close to hitting me on several occasions and my mom, my primary caretaker was verbally abusive. So I grew up in a home with two parents who were incapable of loving me unconditionally. Just like Charles I never felt like I measured up to the impossible standards my mom set for me. Because of that, I assumed there must be something wrong with me, fundamentally, that made people incapable of ever loving me.

"I'd like to think I'm confident and self-assured but really I'm desperate for people to like me. To be accepted for who I am. Because for so long I thought that wasn't possible."

Before and even after meeting Edwin, Charles constantly tries his best to charm everyone he meets. Growing up with a dad who beat him he had hoped that by living up to his father's impossible standards he would be beaten less. But, as Charles says at the end of episode 4 it didn't matter how good he was, his father would still find a reason to beat him.

"I was a different person back then but the pain still lingers. Back then I was small and defenseless. I was a child but trauma has a way of sticking to the wounds I thought had healed. It turns out the scares were actually scabs and I'm bleeding all over again."

In episode 5 Charles is forced to confront the kids he thought were his friends, who betrayed him and ultimately killed him. He desperately wants to believe in Brad and Hunter just like he believed in his friends. But by acknowledging that they were not good guys starts him on a journey to healing some of the trauma that still lingers from when he was alive.

"But I let 6 fucked up people fuck me up. I let them in and they stabbed me in the back. I'd forgotten what that felt like. And I should've known better than to befriend them" (author's note I didn't mean this literally unlike Charles Rowland who doesn't technically get stabbed but they threw rocks at him as he was freezing in a lake which is almost the same thing)

I think this is why it hurts so much more for Charles to realize Brad and Hunter were truly evil. It must have felt like he was being betrayed a second time and after having to literally relive the moment his friends turned their backs on him in the previous episode it must have felt that much more palpable.

"I'm not a vengeful person. But I'm hurt. And a part of me wants to hurt them back."

At the end of episode 4 when Charles beats the Night Nurse we as the audience know his actions are justified. Afterall, she literally made him relive the moments before his death that he hasn't fully processed in 35 years. We know this but Edwin, Crystal, and Niko don't know this. They see a boy with anger issues and as someone who's been unfairly villainized by people who he thought he could trust oooof I can see why he ends up crying and confessing to his best mate that his dad beat him. I was bullied a lot as a kid and this show captures how awful and isolating that feels. Bullying isn't brushed aside because two of its main characters literally lose their lives to their tormentors.

"I'm a good person. I have many passions. I'm friendly, genuine, and honest. And yet people love to assume the worst in me. That I must be too good to be true. That it's all an act."

A big part of Charles' journey throughout season one is him coming to terms with who he is and how he presents himself to the world. I think one of his biggest, if not his biggest fear, is that if he weren't his usual charming self that no one would like him. But we know this is fundamentally not true because even when Charles was at his absolute lowest point (when he was literally freezing to death in an attic) he befriends another boy who also assumes he's unlikeable.

And that is why I love Dead Boy Detectives because it shows us that no matter what everyone is worthy of love, but most especially those who are told they aren't. Just like Charles finds the unconditional love and acceptance he never had when he was alive in Edwin and Crystal, I know I have it with my best friend and family. At it's core this show proves time and time again that we're never alone, even at our lowest when we feel abandoned, there is always at least one person who will gladly guide us back towards the light.

I know this is super long and wordy (the art history nerd in me sucks at being concise) but I had a lot of thoughts, particularly about episode 5, after the cameo I requested and I really wanted to share them. I do not expect George or Jayden to ever see this but I wanted to thank them profusely for being part of a show that has brought me so much joy and community that I really needed this year.

[millieisawriter]

By the fire

javier escuella x reader

summary: one calm evening you find javier — the newest addition to the gang — sitting alone by the campfire. despite the language barrier still being there, the man finds a way to charm you

wc: 1k

all pics taken from pinterest

♡this was requested!♡

a/n: the song is made up cus i couldn't find any existing song that fit, it's actually a poem i once wrote about a girl i had a crush on lmao this is happening sometime shortly after javier has joined the gang because i thought it'd be cute if y'all didn't know each other's language lol if you know spanish my bad just pretend you don't i guess, but i'd love to write latina reader sometime too

The gang has put up their camp somewhere in the state of Colorado. The day had been tiring, as it always is when you're moving, and everyone must have been wishing for the moment they can finally go to sleep. It didn't surprise you when before midnight everyone had already retreated to their tents or wherever they slept.

Everyone, except for one person. Your eyes caught a glimpse of a silhouette sitting by the scouting fire, away from the center of the camp. The night was dark, but judging by the guitar resting in his lap, you assumed it was Javier.

"You good?" You approached, sitting down next to him. Thankfully, you didn't have to sit on the bare ground, because Pearson had made those rugs of goat skin.

Javier looked up at you, his fingers momentarily stopping their movement on the strings. "Sí, sí, just... muy tired, you know?"

"Me too," you replied, leaning back and stretching your legs out, "me too..."

Javier made so much progress these past few months he's been running with the gang. The day Dutch had brought him into the camp, you wondered how did they even manage to communicate, maybe Dutch did speak some Spanish after all.

"And how are you..." you tried to search for a simple word, but none came easily, "adjusting? Adjusting as... how do you holding up, living with us?"

"Is good, más good than life on my own. Alone is no good. Here with you all I have food, place to sleep. And gente who care, I think."

"Of course we care," you smiled at him, "honestly, I can't imagine the gang without you and your music now."

His lips twitched with a playful smile. "I keep playing then?"

"Yes, please, I'd love to hear more."

"What you want to hear, querida?"

You paused, considering his question. Truth be told, you just loved to hear him play. It didn't matter what the song was about. Most of the time, you didn't even know since he sang in Spanish, so you would catch a few words at most.

So you gave him the choice. "You choose."

Javier's grin widened, and his eyes glistened with a brilliant idea. He adjusted the guitar in his lap, strumming a few notes before looking back at you.

"You know, in Mexico when a man has something to say... something from... el corazón," he placed a hand over his chest, "he sings."

"And what do you have to say, Javier?" You asked, feeling warmth cover you both from the fire, and from this tingling, warm feeling inside your chest.

But instead of answering your question, Javier started playing the guitar. Soft notes of the instrument filled your ears again, and you subconciously smiled wider, even allowing yourself to close your eyes for a moment.

And then, when you thought it can't get any better, Javier started singing. "¿Cómo puedo empezar a decir lo que siento, si mi corazón se detiene al escuchar tu nombre?"

[How can I start to say what I feel, if my heart stops when I hear your name?]

The melody was light, but you could feel he's singing about something that held big significance to him.

He continued, "Quiero perderme en las estrellas de tus ojos, y contigo no quiero esperar al amanecer."

[I want to get lost in the stars of your eyes, and with you I don't want to wait for the sunrise.]

You didn't understand every word, most of them you didn't understand, but the emotion behind them was overwhelming. Javier's words, whatever they meant, reached right into your chest, gently eveloping your heart.

"Dejemos que la luna nos muestre el camino, no hay prisa, solo el latido de nuestros corazones. Contigo, no necesito respuestas, porque tú eres la verdad que siempre he buscado."

[Let the moon show us the way, there is no hurry, only the beat of our hearts. With you, I don’t need answers, because you are the truth I have always looked for.]

The last note faded away, the night became quiet once again, and you opened your eyes, looking at Javier.

"What you think?" He asked.

You struggled to find words that could match the beauty of what he had just shared. "Javier, I..." you shook your head, smiling, "I think that, even if I didn't understand it, I felt it. In my el corazón."

Javier chuckled at your attempt at Spanish, "Maybe next time I teach you the meaning."

You smiled. "I'd like that."

For a while, neither of you said anything more. The quiet night wrapped around the two of you as Javier continued playing some notes on the guitar but none of them hitting you as hard as the song he sang just for you.

"By the way," he decided to speak again, "you don't add el after my. Is just mi corazón."

"Ah, I butchered it." You laughed with embarrassment, even though you knew he didn't correct you to be mean.

He found it very endearing. "No, no, is just... if you want to learn, you learn correct, sí?"

"Fine, fine," you took a deep breath, exaggerating your effort, "mi corazón." You nailed the pronounciation almost perfectly.

"Muy bien," he said, giving an approving nod, "now try gracias, Javier, tú eres el mejor."

You let out a fake groan of annoyance, having an idea what this phrase could mean. "Really?"

"What?" He raised his hands up in a mock innocence. "Is good practice!"

You rolled your eyes playfully but obliged. "Gracias, Javier. Tú eres el mejor."

"Perfecto! See? You learn fast." He applauded you for the effort, clearly very amused.

You sat there with Javier a little longer, the warmth of the fire spreading between you, but it was the warmth of his smile, his laugh, and his song that stayed with you long after you retreated to your tent.

[shakytailstudios]

Savate Syndicate AU Chloe!

Sometime after her banishment Chloe would fall in with the Savate Syndicate a New York gang of martial art using criminals who saw potential in her skills and her a means of escaping her abusive circumstances as she donned the new name Cleo.

Her hair prematurely began to grey due to stress related to her parents, it actually stopped doing so after joining a gang. Apparently deadly fights to the death are less traumatic than her family.

Note, she should be older here, 18 at least, but I only had so long to spend on the model so I mostly sharpened up the face somewhat and couldn't expand the arms as I wanted too for shape key reasons.

I wrote a snippet covering these elements and shared it with @princess-of-the-corner but it can now be seen here!

This song also fits.

Chloe's life... Had not gone the way she planned.

Then again, she'd never had much of a plan, not really. She let other people plan for her, trusted them, believed in them.

Letting the likes of Lila and Hawk Moth lead her along with their machinations and grand promises. Trusting Andre decide what was "Worth" learning, like reading, or trusting that once she met her mother's standards things would just work out. Or believing Ladybug thought she could be something good and worthwhile.

Queen Bee was the closest she'd come to a real plan, be a hero.

As Chloe wiped another person's blood off her knuckles and glanced around the human ruin she had made of the man's & his guards she chuckled.

'I'm about as far from hero as one can be.'

"Having fun, Cleo?" A pleased, authoritative voice intoned.

Turning, Chloe saluted the head of the Savate Syndicate, "I think its important to enjoy what you do, sir."

That drew a genuinely amused chuckle from the man as he clapped her on the shoulder and intoned. "Good work here, just what I have come to expect from you."

& there it was, just a simple thing really, they didn't linger or laude her further, she'd just been given a job, done it well and was praised.

It wasn't much, but it also was something clear and real and easy to understand. Just like the money she got which was as good as the other enforcers at her rank.

It was just meeting a sets standard and getting a set standard reward, but it was, if not something that made her happy. At least something Cleo understood and could be satisfied with.

"Package secured," Intoned their leader, "& I imagine whoever replaces these imbeciles will know to deal with us more respectfully next time. For now, kick up some dust."

Like a switch being flicked, the room was for a single moment flooded with subtle sound and motion as the Savate Syndicate shot through windows, vents and doors. Blurring onto roof tops and streets, scattering through New York. If all went as usual, they'd reconvene at headquarters, be paid for a night work and... Well that was it.

Just another day in the rest of her life as a Savate Syndicate enforcer.

Chloe still didn't know how to feel about that.

Cleo was at least satisfied.