#sure they probably hate me like everyone else
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mothimalspaces · 8 hours ago
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seeing this on the same day FA announced a new update to tagging and seeing a few of the artists i follow either go two ways.
YES NOW I NEVER HAVE TO SEE ANYTHING UPSETTING EVER AGAIN!! WOOPEEE
and everyone else is like
"jesus christ im cooked"
i tend to have way more empathy for the latter because I dont think a hyper-curated feed is neccessarily the UTMOST thing. do i like getting to see the artists i follow do stuff? sure... but i also like a healthy ecosystem of artists ive never seen before do something id never thought possible. its why getting more into multi, pooltoy, genderqueer, abdl, yadda yadda yadda. its not about the tags.. its about the fact that these things have been a part of an encompassing thing to homogenize things. over time you start to see patterns of what your little niche kink groups do, the hot blorbo of the week, these things very much are influenced by the streets and systems and platforms, and since "web2" a lot more attention was placed on "viewable" trendy shit, attention grabbing. and if you want to get anywhere you gotta get with the crowd." except cool things come from being transgressive and an expression of the artist regardless of what an "audience" wants.
a world filled with blacklists, streamlined twitter-styled tiktok styled for-you tabs, does not excite me, in fact its antithetical to art. I didnt get on tumblr to look at all the moderator-supported tumblr official good-posting.
i want to be outside of my comfort zone.
i want to see things sometimes that im not into but nontheless enriches and widens what i think is possible.
you bitches cant handle patty taxxon being genuine, up front and unconcerned of the whims of an audience.
you bitches like the idea of being challenged until you see a fat person or a weird scary queer kink and then the nunnery is opened.
im drunk on a screwdriver, anita bryant is dead and i am a day closer to a new internet war against oligarchy and fascism... i'm not going to concede in comfortability to fascists who would probably hate you as much as me.
biodiversity like a lot of types of diversity keeps an environment alive.
stagnation and recursive incestuous homogenized weighted-tags is how you get a corpse that once wore the name of a website. fuck puritans. fuck your comfort. fuck the audience.
ok im gonna go blankie mode, dumbass dog awayyyy!!
As an adult you must cultivate the skill of “Gross! Oh, well. Not my business.”
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writingwisterias · 3 days ago
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how would eras of leon respond to jealousy/yearning with sex?
Hi Anon!
Thanks for the request...I had a lot of fun thinking about this one 👀
Ok ok I'm cracking down on requests! I promise I needed a day to recover from work 💗
Warnings: NSFW, Yearning, Jealousy, Sexual Tension, MNDI
GN!Reader
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RE2:
Just for something different, I'm doing a no Apocalypse AU for this one
You sit opposite him, your desks are connected. You were always so kind to him compared to the other officers
Both of you always get along well when you are paired for patrol etc
But he's not the only one that has eyes on you, every other officer seems to as well
He hates feeling jealous that the other officers are talking to you, touching you as they past and you are entertaining them?
There's a staff party and everyone is buying you drinks and chatting, he barely has a chance to speak to you. After all you are his only friend
What he didn't know is you are frustrated from all the attention and you are just trying to get to Leon
When you finally reach him, he's in a mood and it doesn't take long for you to realize hes jealous.
Maybes it's the drinks in your system or the small crush you have on him bubbling in your chest. But you kiss him
He's shocked at first, but recovers fast. His lips are desperate
Spots all the officers back off when he kisses you, so then his touch becomes possessive claiming you as his.
He'll make sure he's the only one you think about when you both leave and he takes you home. 👀
RE4R:
He's touched starved so anyone even approaches you with the intention of sex he's immediately jealous
He's confident enough that you won't go for someone else, even if you aren't exclusive but he'll be pissed off for a while
His jealous would come out in the form of silence,
like he's giving you the silence treatment until you figure out what's wrong and fix it
I think he would probably insert himself into the situation but more of him being a presence there than actually joining in...again silent treatment.
If you don't give him attention he's very heavy with eye contact, constantly trying to get you in his eyeline so he can watch you
Infinite darkness:
The most verbal about being jealous,
like he will pull you away and probably whisper to you how you are making him jealous
Longer touches as well, on your hip or lower back..he's making sure you notice it's there
I think he'll just constantly remind you of his presence until you eventually cave
To make him jealous it would be entertaining other people in an awkward conversation, like if someones asking you to dinner or whatever and your reply is "I'll have a look at my schedule" or "let me get back to you"
You probably aren't going to do either of those things but Leon doesn't like it, he'll make sure your schedule is full of him
Damnation:
I like the idea that he doesn't care enough to get jealous, like if you don't want him he will accept defeat and it will add to the list of other things wrong with his life
But he won't hide the fact he wants you
I imagine it's a situation where he's rough with everyone but you
The rest of his department constantly digs at him for this, it makes you blush when you finally notice it
Heavy eye contact on you, like constantly watching what you are doing around the office etc
It's when you are on a mission together that you finally cave and give him what he wants, and you definitely don't regret it
RE6:
I think he would be in the same boat as damnation where he doesn't really get jealous but he does show that he wants you
With his intense scenes with Ada as well he would make it even more prominent that he wants you
Whenever it's to show Ada that he's moved on or it's to show you that he still wants you
That's up to you
But he's going to make it known that there's nothing to worry about, he's smart enough to understand how him caring for Ada might seem he's still hung up on her
Vendetta:
I like the idea of you being a bartender at the bar he constantly visits
He enjoys your attention and sympathy, often having long chats about anything but his work
As soon as someone needs you though or you turn to serve another customer he's instantly jealous
You want him too, it's obvious. But not drunk and in the state of mind he's in
You understand that he would be good with that commitment and probably a loving partner but he needs to heal first
You put up with his drunken exclamations how he loves you and wants you, his constant staring and snarling at other customers
It's cute that he wants you that badly but until he sobers up and shows some signs of self improvement you won't do it
It does increase the heat from him, but he'll be thankful when he does eventually get sober
Death Island:
Super super jealous
Like you are an angel in his eyes why are you hanging out with someone else?
Why are you talking to one of his co workers? You don't need to entertain that asshole you are his
You aren't actually though, not yet
Both of you tip toeing on this line of friends and lovers
A game of seeing who caves first
He does, pressing you into a kiss that you can't forget. It was rushed after he had a close call with the virus.
Yet it leaves you logging for more, he's just waiting until you finally admit it to him
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lmaowhatt · 2 days ago
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utterly obsessed? - six
summary: actress y/n I/n has recently skyrocketed into stardom after her breakout film 'castaways' alongside sarah cameron, kevin hart, chris evans and chris hemsworth. weeks after the movies premiere, she drops her debut single, further cementing her place in the spotlight. as millions of people around the world begin to idolize her, and as she struggles with her own demons, she catches the attention of rafe cameron, who doesnt shy away from becoming utterly obsessed in what seems to be the cutest way possible.
main masterlist | series masterlist
five - six - seven
your phone
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youruser
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liked by jjmay, rafecameron and 986k others
youruser my life and my friends🤍 pic creds to @/jjmay for half of these i guess..
jjmay you guess?? js say u hate me atp
➯ youruser i hate u
➯ jjmay oh wow
jjmay everyone be quiet i got a whole slide to myself🙂‍↕️
➯ jjmay also those are MY guitars just to lyk
➯ youruser this screams "🤓☝🏽"
➯ jjmay im blocking you.
user the weeknd?? marry me😫
kiekie muah muah
user she got a lil weigth on her💀
➯ user learn how to spell 'weight' before judging💀
sarahcam lets just elope pls
*liked by creator*
cleopatty how are u aesthetic
➯ youruser genetics😔
➯ jjmay i chose the pics for her
➯ youruser #hater energy will not be accepted
popeh lets not forget her almost falling out the window
➯ rafecameron i had a pic she made me delete it
➯ youruser for good reason too
user HELLO??? he was at her apartment?
➯ user OMG!! so was pope!! literally shut up.
user guys the rafe comment😫
➯ user oh.. this is an online COMMENT (reply) btw..
user oh she getting passed around for suree😭
➯ kiekie yeah thats... NOT.
rafecameron
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liked by popeh, sofiapalomo and 837k others
rafecameron my weekend
sofiapalomo 🤍
*liked by creator*
user notice how this got almost 200k less likes than normal?💀
sarahcam huh.
➯ user what type of 'huh' is this supposed to BE!
user yeah.. its concerning when not even SARAH likes..
user yeah.. this is not..💀
➯ user its his life regardless??
popeh omg!! a rafe feat!!
➯ rafecameron had to😘
user yo whats going AWNN!?!!?
jbr so thats why you left early.. huh.
➯ user why are sarah and him SO similar LMAO
user why are NONE of them commenting??!
➯ user y/n probably told them not to😭
➯ user they have minds of their own?
user HE replied to popes comment but not whoever she is??
➯ user i feel bad for her tbh
his phone
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your phone
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taglist: @xoxo-ada, @jjmaybankmylovee, @f4irywor1d, @babykhloutofthisworld, @grapejuice32
psa: anyone else who wants to be added to the taglist, let me know!
prefereably by commenting so it pops up on my notifs!
a/n: i had to guys..
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epprbcu-shipping · 2 months ago
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Hey I know I'm on like 3 levels maybe 4 of not existing I lost count but WE MIGHT HAVE A FANDOM!? LIKE FOR REAL!? HOLY SHIT THIS IS INSANE! IT'S AN OCTOBERWEEN MACKREL! YIPPEE!
i don't even know what this fandom is
hello
(I really hope we don't have an actual fandom.)
(Hi.)
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a-confused-spoon · 3 months ago
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Silly question but uhm, would anyone be interested in a Sorvus fanfiction taking place in between book 3 and 4?
The canonical events taken into account would only be the ones of act 1 and some of the short stories from the 'Reflections' collection, but not Through the Moon (so Rayla's around 🙂). I was thinking along the lines of the "slice of life" genre 'cuz I wanted something chill, if not for the fact that the "life" in question is of two guards in a fantasy setting dealing with the first attempt at peace being led by the child ruler they're supposed to guard after centuries of war, so how chill can that actually be...
I've been working on the layout for a while and I don't really have many chapters yet- and by that I mean I barely got the first one done (as in, I don't), but the more ideas pop into my head the more I want to work on it in spite of English not being my first language and uni taking my soul away 👉👈
If I was to go on with it, the platform would be ao3 (duh)
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starry-kittens · 7 months ago
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Went to Michaels again, you know we had to do it to em
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sphylor · 2 months ago
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will be listening to the new ghost album when it releases but as for anything to do with the live performances i dont care anymore honestly and why should i.
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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 4 months ago
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Interesting. Don’t necessarily think I’m autistic but I have more going on than just ADHD and I’m not sure what that is.
#I’m not even sure if the ADHD is actually ADHD either or if it’s just technology addiction#Gonna get a REAL neuropsych evaluation at some point out of sheer curiosity as to what the fuck is wrong with me#I relate to a lot of autistic things and I relate to a lot of ADHD things; but I don’t entirely relate to the majority of either population#and I don’t relate to people with both enough to think I have both#I’ve begun treating myself as if I am autistic just for Kicks and using things that help them and it’s helping in some ways#but I know it’s probably not autism because even though I struggle socially; it’s not because of the same reasons#I understand social cues; I was only accidentally perceived as rude as a kid (and most kids are kind of blunt)#(Mostly a moderate amount of “Stop correcting me! It’s disrespectful!” from my parents)#And nowadays because of how much psychology and acting I study; I can perceive shrimp social cues#And I’m purposefully doing all the right things but it still feels like I fail social interactions because of my lack of assertiveness#which I KNOW come from being raised in a cult#so perhaps my odd social behavior is from CPTSD from being raised in a puritan doomsday cult as an only child#Because I was NOT introverted or sensitive to others as a child#I did not have routines as a child and the ones I did have were for fun and did not distress me if I strayed from them#But now I need structure as an adult because I don’t know what else to do with myself if I have nowhere to be#But at the same time everyone feels worse when they have no routine or expectations#And is it actually inattentive ADHD or severe derealization and an itch to do as many things as possible#because I spent my childhood being raised in a boring doomsday cult by disabled older parents who couldn’t physically do much?#(And I don’t fault my parents for being disabled but I do fault them for the whole doomsday cult thing)#So I spent my whole childhood doing mentally tedious things when really I’m more wired for physically spontaneous things#Because I was not allowed to walk around the neighborhood alone until I was sixteen#And I couldn’t hang out with friends I wanted to hang out with because they were bad association#So of course I got really good at drawing even though I don’t even like drawing that much#Of course I got really good at writing even though I don’t like writing that much#Now that I don’t need to escape from anything I find I actually hate drawing and writing because it’s such a chore#they make my heart rate accelerate in a way I don’t like to feel#(I hate writing less than drawing)
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cacturne · 5 months ago
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cassandra isnt using the cheese wheel anymore. F
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longagoitwastuesday · 4 months ago
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Every day I wake up regretting getting emotionally invested in Jujutsu Kaisen
#It's both the best and worst thing ever written#So much potential. Wonderful dynamics. Every concept that ever mattered to me personally#which means it's all the best concepts ever in the history of humankind#The most adorable kids. The most gorgeous women. The most whatever Gojo is#Which is pretty much 'everything' considering he is not Jack or Heathcliff#And yet#AND YET#It fails at reaching its full potential on any of the stuff I mentioned#It's truly truly the best thing ever. It's truly also a source of constant dissatisfaction#AND YET AGAIN#When you think 'yeah okay it's too much dissatisfaction it isn't worth it' it hits you again with the best thing ever#I hate it here so much#I wish I didn't get into this at all in general and I specifically wish Gojo Satoru would disappear for good of reality itself#Just *pum* vanished. Like melting water on snow or something#As if he had never been at all. And then I'd have never gotten into this#Anyway... I'm begging everyone who is into Gojo to read Georg Cantor. I have some other authors and texts. I can send stuff#In any case it's all good. I'm sure everything will be forgotten in a couple months#I won't think about this at all in just a little bit more time#Yeah. Pretty sure#It's just a temporal thing with very short time. Almost like an ephemeral fly#Or the lapsus of time in which one could eat cherries yearly#By wintertime this won't be anything at all. At most a red stain on snow that perhaps brings cherries back to memory#Nothing else. Just a little bit more time and it shall pass#But goodness how I wish Gojo Satoru would disappear from my life or the very fabric of reality#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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autisticlee · 6 months ago
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no one knows just how hard I work at things. how I have to work 1000000x more than the average person to compensate for being autistic and adhd and probably other things i'm working out with therapist, and having a sort of physical disability i've not received any help or treatment for. everyone assumes I don't try or give up too soon. they think I just started, need more practice. they think I expect everything handed to me immediately with no work or effort and don't acknowledge the multiple years i've put into things. they think I have no right to be upset about still failing to get where I want even after working my entire life to get there, while watching people around me surpass even my meager goals within a fraction of the time and work i've out into the same thing. constantly getting surpassed by everyone around me who seem to barely do any work to get there compared to me. it's all handed to them and falls into their lap so easily. all because they don't have the extra obstacles to overcome and work around that I do. while they go from point A to Z immediately with no major stops in between, I have to go through every single letter and then some, often getting sent back to the start. but it's always *my* fault, according to everyone. it's not the fault of those around me who ignore me, don't support me, don't help me, don't believe in me, etc. it's my fault they don't do those things. because doing the work of 10 people in one isn't enough, just because it's me. and not reaching Z as fast as everyone else means I don't deserve any of the support or help or anything else and means i'm not trying hard enough. it doesn't matter that I *need* to work harder than 100 "normal" people combined to get even half the result! Just because I can't reach what they do means i'm not trying hard enough! ugh.
#it's like they WANT me to give up!#they sure act like i'm not trying to give up/not trying if I mention how hard it is/how i'm upset I cant reach my goals after years of work#if someone tells me to just do the thing/stop giving up/try harder/practice more/it takes time/dont expect it to be handed to you/etc#ONE MORE TIME. im going to fucking lose it. in fact im losing it right now hence the rant im writing!!!!!!!#can someone for once tell me its ok to feel frustrated and they know how hard i work and try and deserve better or something idk#ugh i hate this life. sometimes i hate being neurodivergent because it stops me from doing all the things i want#and no one is willing to help because they blame me and say im not trying hard enough when EXISTING takes more work than they realize!#for fuck sake im losing my mind here. not having any support and not being able to support yourself because none of your needs get met#and you have to try to do life with higher support needs and are denied any support. its so fucking hard. idk what to do#lee rants#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#and probably other things that could be tagged but im exhasuted. writing this was hard and took so much energy to make words happen#words hard. how get across what want to say?????? dont know#but why is it always dismissive comments and no one offering any actual help or support that would benefit me in any way#but everyone else gets so many opportunities and support? i guess if you need extra support you arent worth anything#IM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND FEEL BAD. PEOPLE NEED TO STOP DISMISSING MY FEELINGS AND TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT FEELING BAD.#WHAT DO YOU WANT AND EXPECT FROM ME FOR FUCK SAKE. HOW DOES ONE TRY HARDER THAN THEIR BEST!!!#HOW DOES ONE DO SOMETHING THEY PHYSICALLY CANT IF THEY ARENT ALLOWED THE HELP AND SUPPORT REQUIRED?!#HOW DO YOU EXPECT A BIRD TO FLY IF IT WAS BORN WITHOUT WINGS#ok im done
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slumbergoblin · 2 years ago
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:)
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itspileofgoodthings · 10 days ago
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.
#kind of hate when students come back and they’re like ‘sorry I was sooooooooooooo bad in your class’#obviously I hate it if it’s just sort of a chance for them to just yap about how bad they were/glorify their bad behavior#but sometimes I hate it even when they’re sincere sksskjsjsjsj#like I know it’s a good thing and I should be glad but I’m not glad#I’m just like ‘fuck off’ (I do not say that. EVER)#but it’s just. ughhhhhhh#so much of the job is ignoring their bad behavior as much as you can#not like. not having good classroom management but just. in your own mind!!!! don’t give it all this power!!!!!!#I hate those posts that are like ‘why did my grown ass teacher have beef with a 12 year old’ because my loyalty is to the teacher#and it’s like. well middle school classrooms are war zones sometimes so give the teacher a break. but there’s a certain truth to that!!!!!#you can’t take the behavior seriously in your own mind. I think that’s it#so when they come back and they’re like ‘I was terrible for you I regret my immaturity’#I know it’s a good thing for them and probably inevitable for most of them (the being teenagers of it all) and I’m sure ultimately#that it’s a testimony to my class. but it makes me wince so much. because I set the tone so decisively and part of how you do it is just by#like. believing everyone’s having a great time. and kids being like ‘I was a monster from#the deeps of hell’ seems to contradict that#and always drives me to question myself even though I probably shouldn’t and i need to just chill#some of it is just my own vulnerability or insecurity#I’m hoping it lessens with time? because my first couple of classes of course that’s what was happening#because they WERE bad. and they were worse than they usually were cause they wanted to see if they could get away with it#and did they? I mean yeah probably a lot more than they should have bc I was brand new!#anyways I’m just rambling. but yeah I don’t like it.#like please just leave me alone.#(I hate most kinds of intake tbh. because I always have to do something with all of it—intellectually emotionally)#(I can never just rest. the mind is sorting and processing) it’s like when it comes to teaching#the more things I can shut my eyes to the better#I’ve come a long way with knowing what of the things my students say to ignore than I used to#bc actually they’re innocent babies who are just yapping! Cause they don’t know what else to do yet.
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berryblu-soda · 9 months ago
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local silly goofer was seething with rage and dumped it all in the tags, read at your own risk :3 <- personal stuff, wrote this after the tags, pretty okay now, just got it out of my system, love yall <3<3<3
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wanderingmoonmen · 1 month ago
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pretty much found out my worries and suspicions were correct and my childhood best friend is in an emotionally absuvie relationship and i feel like im gonna hulk out. or im gonna bust into his apartment like the kool-aid man holy shit
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natelia-aldelliz · 2 years ago
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Guys... Listen I know I said I'd draw something for valentine's day but I had a bit of a rough week sooooo I'm just going to write it out instead, maybe I'll finish drawing it some day, maybe not. It's behind a show more because it's long.
(also there's talks about having sex but no actual sex, and like, general warnings about Ghost's backstory but it's very vague here).
Soap was hanging around outside, trying to bring himself to do something, anything. But the weather was nice for a February day, and the sun was out, and it was making him feel like a cat basking in the heat.
An arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, a huge body suddenly weighing on him. Ghost.
Soap hummed comfortably. This day was getting better by the minute. Any chill he might have felt from being outside in a tank top out of pure Scottish spite was instantly soothed.
Simon often times saw himself as a cold man, freezing to the touch, hidden behind a layer of ice. A proper little Elsa, Soap almost snorted out loud. The truth was that while yes, his fingers and toes' temperature was sometimes abysmal, especially in bed, the rest of him was the warmest place Johnny had ever been.
"I've got something for you in our room," Ghost whispered against his throat, making Soap shiver.
Simon had begun calling Soap's room theirs a few weeks ago and Johnny couldn't have enough of it. He was so in love it genuinely hurt sometimes to restrain himself from squeezing him to death.
"Is that so?" he purrs, knowing how Ghost likes that. If this day didn't end in sex he'd be very surprised. He'd long learned to recognize when Simon wanted sex and when he didn't, and the way he squeezed his pec in response to his voice was a very easy tell.
But then again Simon was way less subtle than he thought he was.
They made their way back to their room, and there it was, a repurposed shoebox, badly wrapped with cheap wrapping paper. Johnny couldn't be more excited, he had never received any gift from a significant other. To be fair he adored gifting but always felt awkward receiving.
But this was Simon. Something that Simon had chosen to give him.
He sat on the bed, leaving enough space behind him for Ghost to sit there so he could use him as a very comfortable backrest. When he did, he grabbed the gift and began opening it.
He knew that Ghost liked to tear the wrapping paper, liked the sound of it and liked tearing it into the smallest pieces possible after, but he himself loved carefully unwrapping it and folding it flat so he could later maybe do an origami with it or put a piece in his journal. Probably both.
This one was full of tape but he still very much enjoyed himself, considered it a challenge. He enjoyed the chase, wanted to drag it on. Ghost huffed impatiently behind him, a bit tense, probably nervous.
Inside the box was a weird old fashioned clunky thing. It was bright red, looked slightly like binoculars, definitely from the 70's, with a wheel of tiny pictures wedged in the top of it. Memories hit him all at once.
"Oh my god ah remember, my Ma had one of these when ah was a child! My sister and I loved it, it had pretty landscapes in!"
He put it against his eyes, excited to see what this one came with. At his biggest surprise, it was a picture of them. Simon had customised it.
The picture showed the back of himself a bit further away from the camera, pointing at something while in full gear, in a dilapidated town, Ghost's face in the foreground looking at the camera. It looked like Soap was talking to someone, but that person was cut by the framing.
"Wait, ah remember that mission, it's when ah saved Gaz from a landmine just to be shot seconds later," he laughed. "ah spent two fucking weeks in the hospital, ah was miserable. Ye kept joking ah should hiv left Gaz explode while staring at him, he was convinced ye actually wanted him dead!"
Then the next picture was indeed him in his hospital bed, unconscious but the state of his injuries told him he was probably just sleeping at least a few days after his admission, his life no longer in danger. In this one, Ghost was sleeping too, head in his elbow near Soap's head and his other hand holding Soap's hand.
"Who took this one?" Soap asked, moved by the tenderness of Ghost's hold on him in the picture. It would have been right after Johnny had admitted to maybe liking him more than friends, before they were officially dating.
"The hospital one?"
Soap hummed.
"Price did. Said it was for blackmail. Should have seen him, he looked like his child had just married the person of their dreams and had ridden off into a rainbow on a unicorn or some shit. Old man's sentimental as fuck, but I didn't call him on his bullshit, he's already old, that's punishment enough."
Soap giggled in response. The next few pictures were all of them together but each time he was either turning his back or asleep.
"Why the fuck am ah never looking at the camera?" he whined. He wanted some cute couple pictures, dammit!
"Couldn't have you suspecting what I was planning," Simon said, kissing his shoulder soothingly. Only then Soap noticed that he had taken his mask off at some point and turned to ask for a proper kiss, which he immediately got.
"Keep going, there's more pictures," Simon whispered against his lips when he tried to turn around to kiss him some more. His pouting only got him a smirk in response, so he got comfortable again and brought the slide viewer back against his eyes.
He was happy he did. The next picture waiting for him was just Simon in the mirror, almost in full gear, but with one gloveless hand dragging his trousers down so the camera could see the bottom of his stomach, follow along his happy trail and reaching the very top of his pubic hair. The picture cut of his head, but he could see that his mouth was uncovered and he was holding the glove with his teeth.
Soap groaned. "Steaming Jesus, love, you're so hot."
He felt Simon hide his face in the back of his neck, warmer than usual, and chuckled a bit. He loved him so fucking much.
There were four more pictures of Simon, in various suggestive poses and states of undress, some almost showing his cock but never quite committing, making Johnny feel like he was being teased.
He was getting hard though and so ready to be done with the pictures and access the real thing. But Simon was still tense behind him. In fact, he had only gotten tenser and tenser with each click.
Soap was unsure why. They never had a problem with their sexual life, Simon had already changed his mind about having sex after starting and Soap had absolutely no problem with that, was glad to hug him instead and reassure him when he had tried to apologize.
Simon knew that there was no pressure, ever, to have sex. Hell, Johnny would still be happy even if Simon decided that he never wanted to have sex again, and he had made sure to make Simon understand that.
Then he got to the last picture and immediately understood.
It wasn't a picture of either of them, just a little bit of paper, with a few words written in Ghost's awful handwriting.
Just a few words that made Johnny drop the viewer on the covers and turn around to grab Simon's face, worriedly looking in his eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asked, looking for any trace of Simon forcing himself. "Baby, ah'm happy to bottom for the rest of mah life, there's no pressure, okay?"
Simon looked at him with warmth in his eyes and his cheeks completely red, a wrapping bow added on top of his head. "I know," he said simply. "I just want to. I don't want to be haunted by memories anymore. I used to like it, and I want to like it again. With you. Just.... Be gentle, okay?"
Johnny kissed his forehead. "Ah dinnae think ah ken how no tae be gentle with ye, love."
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