#(I hate most kinds of intake tbh. because I always have to do something with all of it—intellectually emotionally)

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

[dreamkidddream]

Hi, I like your work.

If you could I have an obey me request of the brothers and( if possible the undatebles). About a mc who is changing their habits to be healthier (like exercise and healthy eating).

Cause thats what am doing at the moment and I would like the encouragement.

Thanks

Good luck with your journey and you can do it! I’ll probably do the Undateables in a separate fic, but I’ll definitely do them in the future. Reader is gender neutral!

The Brothers with MC Who Wants to be Healthier

Lucifer

He supports you, just don’t let it get in the way of your studies 

Doesn’t really understand why but he doesn’t voice it aloud, and he likes that you’re actually making the effort too, showing a surprising amount of self discipline

He was amused (and worried) when you started working out with Beel, but was relieved when you came back okay and not missing any limbs

Still makes him worry though

He’s too busy to try and workout with you, but he does try to change his eating habits so you don’t feel like you’re doing this alone

(And this would explain why he’s been just a little bit crankier in the mornings since he cut back on his coffee intake. He won’t give it up completely, but he’s trying for you)

He does well keeping you on track though and knowing how strict he can be, it never got to the point of being overwhelming. It’s just his way of encouragement because he really means well and wants the best for you

Praises you so much, and you know it’s the truth too because Lucifer doesn’t just say anything to anyone. And takes his time in showing just how he is of you too, especially behind closed doors

He’s super proud of you, and he’s smug about it too. You’re his, you bear his pact mark on you, so he can’t help but show off your progress. It’s his sin, after all 

Brags to Diavolo like the proud boyfriend he is

Mammon

He somewhat understands, but doesn’t at the same time. You look beautiful, stunning, hot, sexy FINE to him, but if that’s what you wanna do, you’re not doing it alone!

(He claims that you owe him some Grimm and that you’ll discuss payment later, but he’s honestly just excited to be doing this with you and doesn’t know how to handle it)

When he says that you’re not doing it alone, he wasn’t kidding. He’s right alongside you (even though he’s already by your side literally all day every day) putting in the effort 100%, and he’s a great motivator too!

Mammon is a model, so working out and healthy diets aren’t new to him. He takes on the role as your very own personal trainer, even if he forgets that you can’t eat all the food that he can or do everything that he can since you’re human

He’s confused but he’s got the right spirit!

His energy is just contagious! Doesn’t matter what you guys did, whether it was eating something instead of the usual Hellfire noodles or coming back after you guys finished a run, he’s always facing you with a blinding smile on his face every time

Mammon is basically your partner in crime and vice versa, so DUH he was gonna do this with you! What kind of first man would he be if he didn’t?

You’re not alone in this MC, and he’ll make sure it stays that way

Leviathan

OOF, he feels like he’s the wrong person to approach with this

It’s not like he doesn’t want to support you! He does! But, we all know how he feels about doing anything physical or doing anything that will take him away from his safe haven...

(With the exception of video games, anime, and Ruri-chan of course)

He REALLY doesn’t understand why you’re doing this, to him it’s like pure torture!

But, he sees how happy you look and how much energy you have now, so (with your help) he looked at it from a different angle...

That you were LEVELING UP

That’s what got him hype

(He still wouldn’t do it with you unfortunately)

He would unironically go on one of his rants and just be in awe at how much you’re powering up, waayyy better than his video game characters or some weak anime MCs; it’s just his way of encouraging you to keep going

He’s still too embarrassed to be straight forward to you, but you’re an inspiration to him. He expects nothing less from his Henry!

(If you see him trying to do any type of exercise in his room: no you didn’t!)

Satan

He finds it endearing to be honest, and he’s glad to help. Maybe he can find some helpful information in one of his books...

He’s not gonna act like your personal trainer like Mammon but he’s gonna be like your personal tutor but for your health!

“MC, make sure you don’t overdo it. I know you want to keep pushing yourself- and you’re doing more than a spectacular job- but you’ll end up hurting yourself if you overexert. How about you do some stretches as a cool down instead?”

Believe it or not, if he does do any type of workout with you (which would be somewhat rare), it would be stretches, only because it is somewhat calming and helps with how tense his body can be

And he enjoys the time he gets to spend with you

But he’s never afraid to give you motivation or give you compliments; he does it proudly and rather bold

Even if it seems like he’s just teasing you, Satan is being 100% honest. You’re already perfect in his eyes, but it just makes it more obvious seeing you doing something for yourself and being happy about it

Asmodeus

I feel like Asmo would be one of the most helpful brothers (besides from Beel of course) because he likes to take care of himself, and that includes eating healthy and working out

Even though doesn’t like to sweat and he hates the idea of feeling gross, he won’t whine (as much) because it’s something that he wants to do. He’s very big on self-love and having confidence, and he’s a firm believer in feeling good about yourself always, no matter what shape or size you are. After all, you gotta feel good to look good!

Plus, he has taken some devilishly selfies of his sweat glistening on him and he knows his fans go wild for those~

But this isn’t about him right now, you should’ve said something sooner MC, he’s glad to help!

Gives you new recipes to taste test together too! New recipes to try with you + new DevilTube videos= a recipe for views (and more time to be selfish with you)

GYM SELFIES

Also prepare to wear matching gym gear too. You guys are going to make progress and in style!

One of his favorite full body workouts hat he loves to do with you is yoga. Not only does it really become a peaceful time for you both to share, but it also gives him the opportunity to show just how flexible he is and how flexible he can make you~

Seriously though, Asmo is here for this! He will always be the first one to praise you for your accomplishments, and even if you feel like it’s small or that you didn’t really accomplish anything, he’ll make sure to prove you wrong

Beelzebub

He caught you doing some workouts in your room, and when he spotted you, it only meant one thing-

WORKOUT BUDDIES

You didn’t even have to ask him for help because he was already 100% on board with it

It’s only a handful of times that you’ve seen Beel be so serious before, so you were shook tbh

But don’t worry, it’s still gonna be tons of fun for you both!

He’s not gonna micromanage you or anything, and he invites you to his workouts all the time. Even if you have to remind him sometimes that you’re a human and you can’t just lift 1000 pound weights like it’s nothing-

The best spotter, no questions asked. If he even thinks that you’re struggling or he sees your arm shake in the slightest, he’s already behind you, holding up the bar and asking if you’re okay

If weights aren’t your thing or if you don’t feel comfortable going to the gym, he doesn’t mind doing at home workouts either! And he’s the best at correcting your form too

Even though he’s known for his insatiable appetite, he’ll still eat healthy with you. He may not know a lot about human food, but he does know what’s good for the body

Of course he still eats full course meals and will just burn it off like nothing, but he can skip out on Madame Screams’ pastries if it means keeping you motivated

You try to tell him that it’s okay for him to eat whatever, but he’s already shaking his head at you, telling you that you guys are in this together, and that’s that

You ended up splitting some sweets with him on your cheat day because you a.) felt bad and b.) wanted to thank you for being the best gym partner ever

He ate majority of it but still

Not to mention the encouragement that he’s always giving you! If it’s an off day or you feel like you didn’t do your best or enough, he’s already there giving you a smile and pulling you back on your feet, saying how much you’ve improved and how far you’ve come, and Beel isn’t the type to just say anything. He really means every word, and it’s more than enough to keep you going

And his high-fives >>>>>>>

The couple that gains together stays together, and he won’t lie; he feels more pumped in his workouts with you by his side

Belphegor

You weren’t coming home for your daily afternoon cuddle session(s), and when you did come home you were drenched in sweat and brushed him off for a shower. It went from occurring just once a week to every other day, and it was making him moodier than usual

When you explained it to him, he was whiny but supportive. Of course he supports your journey to a better lifestyle! He’ll just be supporting you from the comfort of his bed-

You’re definitely dreaming if you think you’re about to get him to join you working out (you should’ve went to Beel if that’s what you’re looking for)

But he’s great at being your cheerleader though! He stays in the room while you’re working out and he’s really cheering you on with his little chants (I mean it’s while he’s lazing around but still are you really surprised?), but you can’t help but still find it endearing and a way to stay positive

If ya’ll seen the new episode you understand what I mean lmao

He’s not one for moving around, but he can help you with what you eat

He’s pretty decent in the kitchen, and he’s got some safe-for-humans healthy snacks that he “borrowed” from Beel and some recipes that he got from Barbatos and Asmo

(Somehow Solomon overheard and volunteered himself to cook and Belphie doesn’t think he ever ran so fast in his life before when he walked away to go grab his “recipe book”)

Makes small remarks about your progress and says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, showing that he does notice the changes you’re making even if you don’t. Really helps you stay motivated!

His words may come off as dry and sarcastic sometimes, but he means well. He may have a bit of a hard time showing that he cares, but he does. And he cares a lot about you, more than he can express

Is also prepared to give you cuddles as both rewards and to make up from before

[chimmyrockbison]

MASTERLIST Updated 03/20/2021

COMPLETED AO3 FICS [Kim Taehyung/Park Jimin]

1. The Sound of Your Heart

Summary: There was something so easy about it, it was almost scary. Taehyung didn’t want to feel this way, didn’t want to feel this overwhelming fondness; but not unlike his head, his heart was hard to persuade once it had decided a path. And Taehyung was scared that it had decided on the mute new boy with pretty features and a warm smile.

Words: 144,014

2. All the King's Men

Summary: Castle servants Jimin and Taehyung find themselves involved in a game with the Crown Prince.

Words: 52,531

3. golden haze

Summary: Taehyung watches Jimin’s mouth twist into a pout, forming the word ‘fucking’ with his thick lips before he’s whipping out his translation device again. Taehyung doesn’t have time to stop him when various pornographic images pop up on his holographic screen, Jimin’s eyes widening with intrigue, his mouth falling open at the suggestive images in front of him.

(or: lonely college student taehyung harbors an alien fugitive in his apartment. nothing goes as planned.)

Words: 34,850

4. Drag'on Together (Love Is Its Own Magic)

Summary: “I swear to God, Taehyung if you stop to pick up one more rock because you think it might be some sort of rare stone, I’m leaving you here,” Jimin huffs as he tries to sound intimidating.

“Jiminnie, we both know you wouldn’t survive a minute without me, so stop with the empty threats, okay?” Taehyung replies, happily ignoring his dark-haired friend.

Jimin would argue, he would, if it wasn’t for the fact that Taehyung was right.

or

The time Taehyung and Jimin finds a blue rock and it turns out to be so much more.

Words: 30,554

5. even the weariest river

Summary: It's moments like this that make Taehyung panic. The open derision on each courtier's face, the scorn of his brother as he turns from his prey. The slit of Park Jimin's eyes, just barely open and dark and hateful, as Taehyung swallows and squares his shoulders and says—

"I want to claim him."

The tides of war change, and sweep Taehyung and Jimin along with them.

Words: 152,979

6. i fell in love with the pizza delivery guy (and then i blew him in the bathroom)

Summary: Send your best delivery guy. Preferably cute, preferably packing.

“You're the one who ordered me,” Taehyung says. Not exactly a question; more of a statement.

“Well, I ordered pizza; you just happen to be a delightful bonus,” Jimin clarifies, lips drawn up in a smirk that sets Taehuyung’s blood on fire in a most delectable way. “Although, had I known a pretty face like yours was working there...maybe I would have been more specific with my instructions. At least I know for next time.”

(or, Jimin orders pizza and a little something extra, and Taehyung delivers without really knowing what he's signing up for)

Words: 18,438

7. Grand Jeté

Summary: Refusing to spend another night alone, Taehyung surprises his perfectionist of a boyfriend Jimin at his dance studio with the intent of dragging him home. But their pent-up emotions from spending time apart has the visit ending with a lot of kissing and a little experimenting.

Words: 8,200

8. Already Midnight

Summary: On New Year's Eve, Taehyung is drunk. So drunk that he doesn't recognize Jimin as his boyfriend. When Jimin kisses him at midnight, Taehyung threatens to call his man- aka Jimin.

Words: 3,951

9. Worth The Risk

Summary: The rules are simple: no kissing on the lips, no petnames, no cuddling after sex, no sleepovers, no labels, and no catching feelings.

It should be simple. In fact, it would be simple, if it weren’t for one tiny thing...Taehyung is pretty sure he’s in love with Jimin. And that’s absolutely against the rules.

Words: 23,645

10. Common Ground

Summary: Taehyung is rich, a little bit bratty, a lot a bit spoiled, and failing calculus. Jimin works full time, tutors, and is a straight-A student. There's a rulebook somewhere that states very clearly that people like Jimin should never associate with people like Taehyung. But rules are meant to be broken. And opposites always, always attract.

Words: 44,136

11. This is not a dream

Summary: He would think they were ships in the night if not for the fact that every night, Jimin lays his head in Taehyung’s lap and Taehyung runs fingers without nerve endings through his hair. If they didn't have this false, teasing closeness long enough to learn every detail of each other's lives, long enough that Jimin is the person Taehyung spends the most time with by a mile.

(Jimin leaves. Two months later, he falls in love with Taehyung.)

Words: 12,370

12. Shooting Stars and Silver Moons

Summary: Yoongi and Jimin make a bet, Taehyung makes bad decisions.

(Or: "I'm kind of pissed you didn't choose me to fake date, I'm your best friend")

Words: 20,206

13. the whole world is blue

Summary: Taehyung is not going to confess. That kind of thing never ends well. The movies are wrong. It doesn't always turn out to be mutual. Real life isn't so romantic like that.

Words: 10,829

14. Swipe Right

Summary: As a best friend, Jimin will do anything for Taehyung. This includes being his fake boyfriend to ward off the unwanted attention Taehyung is receiving after using a dating app and agreeing to meet someone.

Words: 26,085

15. Define Me in Terms of You

Summary: This is either Taehyung's greatest idea, or his worst.

“So, let me get this straight. You want me to teach you how to play guitar, join a fake band and enter a competition just so that you can impress a guy you like?"

Words: 9,808

16. i just adore you asking for more

Summary: Taehyung is a successful model looking for a discreet release. Jimin is a professional dom who won’t judge his browsing history.

Words: 90,201

17. Sirius

Summary: "Dude, our entire relationship could be an Ed Sheeran album."

Words: 16,955

18. it's your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in

Summary: The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung's, it's an emergency. The other times after? That's a different story.

Words: 22,658

19. kissing up on fences (and up on walls, i don't want to fall)

Summary: They’ve always been close, Taehyung and Jimin. Where one went, it would be rare to see them without the other. This is a fact Namjoon knows better than most, having coexisted with them in close quarters for such a long time.

Namjoon had not, however, for all his proclaimed wisdom and prudence, had the foresight to see that they’d become this close.

(or: the five times the other members thought they were dating, and the one time jimin starts to wonder if they really are)

Words: 8,738

20. The Usual

Summary: Alternatively titled: The Regular

Jimin will date anyone, except for boys who serve coffee.

Words: 27,935

21. i'm so sorry but it's fake love (tbh, not really)

Summary: when chaebol/commitment anti-fan park jimin learns he's being married off, he does the smartest thing in the world: hire a fake boyfriend he found on the internet (aka Craigslist's personal ads)

all he needs is just three months with said fake boyfriend to convince his parents to leave him alone. after that, he'll get back to his regular programming.

except, not really.

Words: 209,565

22. Gravity//Oxygen

Summary: He already lost his parents.

He'll be damned if he loses Jimin's smile too.

We stay together.

Always.

Taehyung is out for revenge. And he'll do anything to get it.

Words: 180,321

23. A Screenshot of Youth

Summary: There’s a sharp intake of breath, Taehyung’s grip tightening over Jimin’s with a gentle squeeze. “Jimin,” his voice is serious, and Jimin watches him, strangely endeared. “Let’s be friends.”

And it’s like this, that they begin as friends in the heat of a sweltering summer, twelve years old and too young to think much of it, hands twined together under the blanket of a setting sun.

(In which Jimin and Taehyung grow up together.)

Words: 18,496

24. i'll take the desert, you take the coast

Summary: “Everyone I know is a candlestick nearing its demise. They’re afraid of bringing meaning into their lives, of cultivating that glow. But you, prince Park Jimin, you are different. You glow with the passion of more than a thousand suns.”

Words: 30,973

25. just to get a taste

Summary: The one where Jeongguk dares Jimin and Taehyung to kiss and it unravels a lot of feelings. But mostly more kisses.

Or the one where Jimin's heart is stupid and Jimin's best friend is actually irresistible. Who'd've thunk, huh?

Words: 24,375

26. tell them it's the end

Summary: Five months after Taehyung suddenly walked out on him, Jimin finds out that Taehyung has yet to inform his family, who absolutely loved Jimin, about their split.

Jimin tries to swallow his feelings as he once again “dates” Taehyung.

Words: 13,802

27. stay with you

Summary: Taehyung wondered why he always see this blonde man, getting wasted every night. Its such a shame seeing his pretty face wasting every single night of his life in this bar.

Until he saw his eyes, and he understood why.

(Or Jimin is broken and he wanted his happiness back.)

Words: 12,875

28. ring the changes

Summary: That's the nature of one-sided confessions. Things change.

Words: 45,248

29. summer, winter, spring (i'm falling for you)

Summary: The school starts to take notice of Jimin.

Taehyung has always noticed.

Words: 41,786

30. Make Me-al

Summary: In which Jimin starts to work at Jin's restaurant and there he meets Taehyung, the new rookie waiter that kinda gets him off his nerves (the feeling is mutual). Yet, the tension between them is hotter than the ovens from the kitchen...

Words: 26,886

31. such stuff as dreams are made on

Summary: "sir no one, may i have this dance?"

or: kim taehyung, a kitchen boy, sneaks into a royal masquerade. park jimin is the prince he never expected.

Words: 38,753

[luidilovins]

You should turn your post on the Uncanny Valley into a book or something. I am not even kidding, it's brilliant and sorely needed information. Thank you for it.

Tbh its just speculative that the uncanny valley is an inherent biological trait and not cultural or a learned behavior at the moment. A good example would be the cultural phenomenon of colorophobia where in the US we have a longer history of using clowns in our horror pop culture genres than countries like Japan.

Clown entertainment has been around since the Egytian times and maybe some people have always been freaked out by them it honestly just takes one director or author to have an disproportionately irrational fear and good cinematography skills to convince people that they SHOULD hate clowns just as much, (I could say the same about the movie Jaws but thats a bit of a tangent,) or a memorable event that damages the public's trust in something that SHOULD be innocent or harmless. (A good examples being the John Wayne Gacy trials.)

Clowns are also thought to be in the uncanney valley so ita a fairly good argument on cultural phenomenon versus genetic traits. Up until aroud the 60s-70s clowns were actually fairly well liked by the US general public and a lot of older generation still find a fondness in it that would scare the living shit out of their grandchildren.

As far as evidence that I may be right about the "uncanney valley might be because of rabies" theory, there has been a small case study suggesting that the movements of a non-human robot that trigger the effect in us, is also present in people with parkinsons but the sample size is too small for me to be thoroughly convinced.

And don't be mistaken I also dislike this concept because saying that ableism is an inherent human trait is just as bad as saying racism is an inherent human trait. There is little to gain from distrust in the disabled and little historical evidence to suggest it was common or beneficial to discard disabled people. Disabled people's remains have been found time and time again to live to incredibly long livea and be cared for, and participate in their communities. I'm highly critical of this particular case study and I take it with a grain of salt because its on cosmo, but evidence of human disabilities and compassion can be sourced by actual bones and it's been placed on VERY credible sources. NPR, NBC, Discovery, Nat Geo, NY Times, literally the clostest you can get to creme of the crop news articles on DOZENS of accounts and if you have a goddam problem then pay for a tour to the Smithsonian, find an archeologist and coherse them into showing you the bones and then explain phorensics to you because you probably wouldn't understand unless you too were a phorensic archeologist yourself.

What I DO BELIEVE tho is that if the uncanny valley is a legitimate inherent trait, that like most evolutionary traits, it made it this far for this long because it somehow served us benificially. And the biggest benifit I can think of is identifying neuro-infectious diseases because they can spread agressivley, many of them lead to death or lasting effects and are fucking MISERABLE to catch. We're talking brain swelling, fevers, uncontrollable vomiting, tremors, hallucinations, motor and vocal tics, difficulty swallowing, seizures. This could all happen because they eat infected deer meat or because of one bad fox bite. It's miserable if you survive and horrifying if you dont. Rabies can survive in your muscle tissue for years before infecting your brain and once it does usually you only live for about 5-10 days in and out of concious knowledge that you're going to die painfully, and disease aggrivated psychosis. It would be hard to pinpoint the causation because the amout of time before full blown infection would vary too much to assosiate for a long time. So your only option is to hone in on telltale signs.

The disabled people who would suffer from herdeditary or developmental neurological disorders run the risk of prejudice from mistaken identity, but if a human is part of a community, and doesn't die within a week from having a wobbly head, it would sooner or later become apparent that they're not dangerous. I think nowadays culturally people don't press to learn more about disabled people due to social and political prejudice and never fucking grow up past that. Mistaken identity or not. You learn about people from the patterns of their behaviors so even ones that seem abnormal to you become a normal recognizable pattern for them. Fancy that.

We don't get grossed out by chimps or gorillas, who are even more distant cousins, and the proof that we don't have a search and destroy button for anything immediatly related to us is a bunch of bullshit can be found in almost every human's blood on earth. And not just neanderthals, but denisovans as well. And that's not even accounting for genetic backtracking the crossbreeding of other sapiens species before we were whittled down to just the three. What makes the tweet even stupider is that when neandertals still roamed the earth humans were shorter, hardier, and overall more rough looking so we looked even indistinguished then. We Also Chewed On Bones and neandertals handled cold climates better than us based on a study on chest cavity density and, skull nasal intake and heat circulation, providing genetic diversity and the upper hand in survival in the tundras or mountainous regions spanning over Eurasia. If it wasn't for humans fucking neandertals we might not have been able to spread over the contient or diversify the way we did.

So my full hypothesis is that if the uncanny valley is a genetic inherent human trait it was used to benifit people from catching agressive diseases in a time where the benifit of fearing a group member with rabies outweighed the cost of fearing a group member with a disability like parkinsons.

WHAT PISSED ME OFF was the idea that we are DESIGNED to be unwary of our evolutionary cousins could easily be used for white supremacist spaces to justify racism BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS

So that one tweet that might seem like a quirky thinkpiece in my eyes is just fuel for eugenics trend round whatever number we're on. It's like we don't fucking learn. It would be REALLY easy to retool the concept that it's natural for people to be fearful of whatever the bullshit definition of sub-humans are. Claiming that black people were sub-human thus deserving of mistrust and submission to white ownership worked like a fucking charm.

Maybe if I go to college and major in psyche/socio/civics it'll be my college thesis. Right now I'm more of a hobbyist than anything, but what I DO know is that anyone can make an untested hypothesis to combat another untested hypothesis and it should hold just as much goddamn value. I combatted the idea that the idea that human othering was funneled into an unconfirmed effect that causes disgust and terror based on non-human sapiens is in fact racist and gave what is in my opinion a more evoluntionary practical approach to the uncanney valley.

The generalized links that I used APARENTLY weren't good enough for some people but aparently a single tweet that says "hur dur heedle dee uncanney valley exists because of human cousins" was taken at face value even tho it was probably tapped out in five seconds without regards to the reproccussions. I find a huge discomfort that less than studious links about the evolution of monkey social behaviors that I used as a guideline to explaining my concerns became the focal point for people to nitpick without even having the gall to "well actually" on the subject. That absolute ravaging NEED to rip apart at it and devolve into name calling because I MENTIONED racism is fucking suspicious and I don't trust it. I had to stop looking at the responses because some people were only reblogging and arguing with barely half of my argument and i was getting nowhere fast.

There were a few people that made actual points with cited sources that made their own rebuttle arguments. That I respect. It's just as valid an argument as mine and I'm ALWAYS willing to take on more credible sources to strengthen my stance or gain perspective.

But it's the utter dismissal of a concerning concept that just seeped into the subtext that gnawed at my gut. Some people on top of hating the linked sources I provided, admitted they didn't read it, refused to read between the lines to purposfully misinterpret or derail my main points, and detract that my claim that the tweet was a result of systemic white supremacy saturated into modern science was a bunch of bullshit because I claimed that 1500s anglos invented racism.

The thing is we did invent the racism that we fucking currently subscribe to.

We practice the science that we formulated based on our own social prejudice. Real people die from this.

We remain uncritical of our own theorums that we postulate then pat ourselves on the back like we're philosophical geniuses even though racism is a family heirloom with a new paint job.

We preach the eugenics ideals that we pulled out of our asses to benifit from fearmongering, promises of national security and unpaied labor.

White supremacists create subtext with the intention of it being consumed by accident or in ways that seem palatable.

Fuck.

That.

I don't hate the person who wrote the tweet. Chances are that they gave the tweet as much thought as they took the time to write it and went on their day as a fun little thinkpiece. Everyone on the internet does it. But its that kind of thinking error that needs to be adressed as a progression of historic and scientific prejudice that gets rehashed, recycled and untouched and continually damages and is weaponized against marginalized people. I am not wrong for taking it seriously especially when a bunch of people were sitting around nodding their heads just as effortlessly.

I don't owe the internet any more sources than the tweet. I don't owe anyone on the internet a full scientific ananysis. And the people's reaction to what I had to say was actually what further convinced me I might have hit the nail on the head.

[magical-gays-au-fanartfunart]

Aftermath (can we hang out?)

Summary: Superhero AU- Logan is officially promoted to group Mom-friend. Virgil attempts to be a normal friend-person.

Ships: Logicality and Prinxiety (most of this one is platonic logince and some creatwins tbh)

Warnings: Remus has bad humor, mentions of gore, really light sexual innuendos, death/injury mention, intrusive thoughts (moreso an allusion to them rather than anything), pain/injury, destruction, crying, black-out mention, most of this is like.... aggressively hurt/comfort.

Tell me if anything else needs a warning!

Words: 1580ish

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 -

-

Remus had a backpack slung over one shoulder. Legs dangling over the side of the window, eyes focused down at the roof of the balcony below.

“Where are you going?”

“Why do you care?” Remus hissed under his breath, not looking up towards his twin.

Roman frowned, “Because I’m your brother. How about that?”

An uncannily wide smile fell upon his lips, turning to lean against the windowsill, “Oh, I forgot that. So sorry.” 

Roman shook his head, “Ya’ know... Since when did you get so snarky?”

“Since when did you get so snuffy?” Remus snapped back, eyes narrowed.

“Dee’s rubbing off on you.”

Remus’s eyes lit up, “Ooh-”

Roman swore. “Ohmygod. Don’t! Why do you even like those kinds of jokes-”

Remus smirked, “I may be as ace as a train, but it’s wonderful to see everyone cringe.”

“Why is a train ace?”

“Because instead of smashing like a car, it crushes its enemies underneath without interest or-”

Roman snorted, face turning a bright shade of red, “I loathe that analogy. Hell’s Bells, why did I even ask?”

Remus rolled his eyes, pumping his leg dangling outside, “At least some of my jokes can get across.”

Roman watched his twin glance back down at the ground below, fumbling with a thread pulled off of the fraying strap of his backpack. Remus turned away, shifting to lean just minutely more out the window.

“You ever think about jumping out of a moving car?” Remus’s voice carried a heaviness to it that Roman knew all too well. But. Not quite as well as he once had.

“You ever think about jumping into a magic portal, running away into fairyland? Roman asked in return. It felt weird. Uttering such unfamiliarly familiar words. Worn away by time.

“Yeah, something like that.” Remus sniffed, “But with less sunshine and rainbows, more gore. That unicorn should’ve stabbed the knights.” 

“You always hated all that fluff anyways,” Roman whispered. He folded his arms over the windowsill next to his sibling, seemingly under the pretense of looking at the moon hanging over the horizon.

“How do you do it?”

Roman raised a brow, glancing at Remus through the corner of his eyes, “I manage a lot of stuff I shouldn’t be able to. What do you mean?”

“Live with all their expectations?” Remus huffed, “Hell, you’ve even got a whole town full of expectations on you now, and no mask to hide behind anymore.”

Roman shrugged, eyes focused on the early stars. “I don’t know.” A beat of silence. They never did silence well. “....Just, place a crown on top of your head and pretend it never falls off.”

All Remus replied with was a shake of his head. His breath hiccuped, and that could’ve been passed off as a laugh if Roman’s shirt wasn’t being used as a handkerchief in the seconds that followed.

All Roman did in return was hug him a little tighter, and tug him away from the window.

-Now 2 years later-

Everything came back slowly and seemingly at once. Roman blinked a few times. Everything felt just a bit heavy and a touch sore. A gentle, distinct pressure of fingertips carded through his hair. Keeping his head up. Roman took in another breath, swallowing dryly, as he leaned his weight onto his elbows. Somebody’s hand was on his chest.

“Slowly, slowly- don’t sit up quite yet. Don’t want you passing out again.” He glanced up at Logan. Oh, Logan was holding him.

Roman took in a heavy breath and frowned. Logan decidedly read the expression as a question.

“Your oxygen intake was extremely light for about 3 minutes, 30 seconds and you were unconscious for approximately 15 minutes. Saying in a level position will allow a more evenly dispersed amount of oxygen flow to your head and body. And prevent lightheadedness,” Logan glanced down, eyes narrowing. “So stay put.”

Roman grunted, slumping against Logan’s hold. They sat in silence for a beat. Roman sighed, glancing toward the relatively empty space around them. “Anybody hurt?”

“Besides yourself?” Logan huffed, “Several students and staff have some scrapes and relatively minor injuries, only two students have injuries that require hospitalization.” Logan glanced down at Roman as the teen stiffened. Logan attempted a reassuring smile, which might have seemed simply uncomfortable in any other situation. “It’s just a couple of broken bones.”

Roman sighed, shoulders relaxing ever so minutely. “That’s good.”

“The school has been since called to evacuate.” Eyes wandering across the horizon, Logan swallowed, “I uh, called your parents. They never answered the phone.”

Roman nodded, “That- yeah, uh, they’re out.”

“Where? Who’s cell should I call?”

“I don’t know! It doesn’t-” Roman let out a huff, moving to shove himself from Logan’s arms, “It’s fine.”

Logan frowned, eyes flickering over Roman as he stood, legs slightly shaky. “Patton would very likely allow you to stay over at his place if you need to-”

Roman shook his head, he winced and gingerly pressed a hand against his temple, “I’ll be okay alone, alright?” Roman glanced around, “Where even is Pat?”

“He is- He and ...a student, are talking with the authorities.”

“What about Anxiety- I thought I heard him-”

Logan pursed his lips, “He, um. He was rather… rattled, so to speak, so… Thomas was going to talk to him.”

Roman scanned the crowd of students and staff, frowning. “Did you uh, happen to know what happened to Virgil- ya’know, that emo-y kid, he’s got a big black plaid hoodie on all the time-” 

“With Patton.”

“Oh.” Roman nodded, “Okay. Okay. So he’s alright?”

Logan smiled minutely, “Yes. He’s okay. Just worried. Now-” Logan collected a juice box from beside him and patted the bench beside him, “Sit your stupid heroic butt down,” Logan stabbed the small straw through the juice box, holding it up, “and get some electrolytes and sugars in you. I promised that paramedic I’d force you to be healthy.”

Roman stuck out his tongue, but complied.

-

Virgil tapped his foot impatiently as he fiddled with his phone, “Can- Can I go now?” 

The police officer glanced at him, “Your parent picking you up?”

Virgil glanced at Patton, who was now scanning the crowd. Virgil nodded, “Yeah, they’re probably gonna be by the back entrance so I’m just gonna-” Virgil vaguely pointed in that direction and then dashed off. If anyone protested, he didn’t hear it.

He skidded to a halt just behind Roman and Logan’s resting spot, their voices low.

Virgil cleared his throat and walked gingerly up to them, picking at the hem of his hoodie.

“Fine. I can call Dee I guess. Pat barely knows how to say no, I’m not gonna ask him.”

“Oh come on. He would offer himself if he knew-”

“I’m not. Asking. Pat.” Roman snapped his head towards Virgil and his eyes widened.

Virgil’s lips twitched into a lopsided smile as his eyes flickered to anywhere but Roman’s face. 

“Hello Virgil,” Logan said conversationally, as if they’d met in a grocery store rather than outside an evacuated school.

Virgil nodded, “Hey.” He glanced over the pair and sighed, “I-”

“Are you ok?” Roman blurted, “I mean-” he vaguely waved at Virgil as a whole.

Virgil nodded again, heavily aware of every movement and sound. Virgil nodded once more, almost in an attempt to prevent another nod, “Yeah, I’m fine.” He jerked his head in Roman’s direction, “You ok?”

Roman smiled, “Practically perfect. Just a bit sore and maybe a touch bruised up.” He shrugged, “Had worse.”

“Yeah I know.” Virgil muttered darkly under his breath. Before Roman could open his mouth to inquire on That line of thought, Virgil tilted his head, “What are you not asking Mor- Patton?”

“Roman’s family is currently out of town apparently and I didn’t wish him to go home alone as he did pass out and someone should be observing him for at least overnight in case anything were to occur-”

“We get it Nerd-Mom.”

“Nerd-Mu- That is certainly not one of your better nicknames.”

Roman gasped, leaning back and pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m wounded! I get an excuse!”

Virgil subdued a huff of a laugh and glanced at the concrete, “I- uh,” he made an aborted gesture, “If you uh, really need somewhere to stay I suppose- If you want to that is- I could ask my mom- if you could stay the night?”

Roman stilled, “I-” He shook his head, “I don’t wanna impose-”

Virgil smirked, “You? Sir Got-the-Whole-Class-to-Sing-Non-Stop-During-History-Class, not wanting to impose?

Roman ducked his head, “Mr. Tege deserved it and you know it.”

Virgil brushed back his bangs with a huffed laugh. Logan simply rolled his eyes. Virgil leaned down so he caught Roman’s eye. “I’ve found that… I kinda like when you show up and ‘impose.”

“Someone’s gotta get the emo out of his shell.” 

Virgil raised a brow, smile becoming crooked and, one might even say a bit dopey. 

“What?” Roman whined, “What’s that face for!”

“I just- Didn’t notice that’s what you were doing.”

“Oh my god. I’ve been trying to get you to do more than smirk for like, a week! Come on! I don’t even know if you’ve got pets! By now I at least would know that!”

Logan snorted.

Roman turned, “What are you so amused about?”

Logan shook his head, “I-um, I’ve gotta find Patton. Do- um, do continue.” Logan waved vaguely at the pair and promptly raced away.

“A cat.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve got a cat…” 

“Virgil, I believe I am now required to go visit your house. I can’t not meet feline royalty.”

Biting the inside of his lip, Virgil tried his best to subdue a smile. (next)

[ireallywannabeskinny]

I edit this daily, wish me luck

Day 1: can't stop binging&doing it way too much, which is not a great thing for my weight or health

Day 2: when i overeat w/o controlling it or when i'm not even hungry, but eat everything that i can find (even though it may not be something that i usually enjoy eating)

Day 3: cw: ~124lbs well it's a long story, but longstoryshort i was skinnier and now i'm too fat:))

Day 4: fast day so no snack

Day 5: anything. Like literally anything. Chocolates, fruits, ramen, oats, ice cream, every type of sweets that i can find, sometimes i even try to find ANYTHING high-cal just to kinda hurt myself more, so yeah that's sucks to be me especially when i binge

Day 6: i guess, it started when my ed started, but when i moved to america, binging became so much more often and bigger because of all the new snacks and foods that i wanted to try. I still haven't tried even half of it because i always restrict and then end up binging with a bunch of unhealthy food. For several weeks after moving to US, i ate ONLY apples, so obviously, that didn't go well and here i am

Day 7 (binge): Usually it happens in the evening or even at night, but sometimes i binge during the day because of my crazy cravings

Day 8: I was at my lowest weight last summer, which was so goood at all means, and now when i really think about it, my weight gain was kind of inevitable because i moved to america and it was a very stressful time for me, i just didn't have energy/time/opportunity to count my calories or simply monitor nutrition. I can't even seem to remember how exactly I've gained, tbh

Day 9: don't really have some constant source of inspiration, but for now the person who helps me stay on track is a ed-blog on insta @/e_d_memes

Day 10: pretty much i guess. I constantly hate myself and my body, but when i binge, i hate it even more (if it's even possible), and the state of a constant hate is really exhausting

Day 11: ooohh that one is haaard. I am not sure, but i think my answer would be telling my mum about s/h. In fact, i didn't actually had tims to tell her, it was a doctor appointment and the doctor asked to undress, so as it happened in front of my mother, she saw my scars and... brrrh i don't wanna remember this day in so much detail

Day 12: I binge because if i am even relatively close to losing self-control, I WILL lose it, but ofc i'll promise myself that it's "just this one time" and "because it's the last time", i'll eat everything i see, but it's never "last time", i repeat the same process over and over again and i'm not sure that i'll ever find a way to stop because tbh deep inside i love bingeing because it is an easy-to-hide way of s/h and i like torturing myself:')

Day 13: heh it would probably sounds unusual, but i don't really care about staying hydrated (not in a bad way "don't care", i just hardly ever count my water intake). I simply drink, when i am thirsty or want to drink something (most of the times it's just water or lemon water or zero calorie sport drink) and i'm pretty sure that i drink enough to stay hydrated because i drink A LOT and VERY OFTEN, without any kinds of reminders

Day 14: i guess it is. I never thought about it, but my binge may be emotional bc i often seek calmness in the food, when i'm stressed/upset/etc. When i am bored, i cook or/and eat, BUT... maybe my binges aren't emotional because i don't usually binge because i'm upset or stressed out, i just eat more than i would normally do:)

DAY 15: Yay! Feelin Greeeeatt! Only binged once, so really proud of myself, don't know what else to say, i just feel really-really good about these last 15 (14) days, it was too hard sometimes, but i did it and going to continue this binge-free thingy, which i am looking forward to

[darkpoisonouslove]

So I promised @trashcankitty12 a post about my headcanons about Griffin’s friendship with Ediltrude and Zarathustra and I’m delivering.

I’m just going to start with my headcanons for their personalities when they were younger (under a cut because it’s long again):

Ediltrude:

- She was actually the more aggressive twin when they were students and her first response to everything would be violence. Someone said something bad about her? Spell the bitch. Someone sabotaged a scheme of hers? Get revenge. Someone did something to Zara? Okay, call the police because there will be a murder here.

- She was the “wild” one that always had a new boyfriend (that she’d dump after a while and find herself another victim) and was always at parties getting wasted but then showing up the next day at class in top shape. Nobody knew how she was doing that.

- In that vein, she was at the top of every class, always having the best grades. She had to be better than everyone she hated, you know? It was law! There was no question about it.

- She always wanted attention (but, like, in a cute way and mostly from her sis) and her presence demanded it, really. And she was always “fashionably late” (except for classes).

- Jewelry is her thing! Especially rings and necklaces. She hoards them by the ton.

- She can’t cook for shit. And she doesn’t really eat that much (tbh all the witches are anorexic but that’s not a topic I want to delve into rn because I have STRONG opinions about it that don’t belong here). Zara is kind of worried about her, especially when she knows the only thing in her system is alcohol. But Ediltrude seems to be handling herself (better than Zara is tbh)

- Ediltrude is actually very emotional but she hides that fact behind a cold and unfeeling facade that also conceals her trust issues. You don’t have to be worried about people approaching you if everyone’s scared to approach you, you know?

- She’s independent, you know! Never mind that she wouldn’t last a day without her sis because there’d be no one she could talk to.

- She has a fierce love for animals, especially snakes, and had a shitton of them while they were still living at home before signing up for Cloud Tower. Zara was so done with it. Imagine the following convo:

Zara: I can’t step on the floor because your pets are everywhere. Edi: I’m sorry… that you’re a dumbass who can’t remember she can fly. Zara: I’m not flying in my own home! I want to be able to step on the floor. Edi: And I want to be able to take care of my pets in peace. Zara: Oh, I will give you peace! *death glare*

Ironically, Ediltrude’s cat loves Zara (possibly even more than Ediltrude) and always cuddles into her. Zara is so done with all the cat hair on her clothes. She never shoos the cat away though.

- Her other strength is divination which she mostly uses to mess with people by telling them what will go wrong with their relationships. And if you really piss her off, she might give you a prediction of your death.

Zarathustra:

- She was a bit more controlled in her temper compared to her sister but you didn’t want to be the target of her words. She was the queen of sass and sarcasm. Her anger was also more insidious and delayed than Ediltrude’s and while Edi would get her revenge on you on the spot and then proceed with her life, Zara would let you stew in anxiety over when she’d get back at you.

- Zara is actually a few minutes older than Ediltrude. She resorts to calling her “baby sister” sometimes to which Ediltrude’s response always is “Talking shit again I see”. And while Zara would tease her with the fact that she’s a bit younger because she knew it annoyed Edi even if she didn’t show it, she still felt kind of responsible for her as she is a little older (which is kind of ridiculous because she can’t handle herself but we give her points for trying).

- Zara was more awkward in social situations or at least so it seemed because she didn’t bother trying to hide her uneasiness around people. But that wouldn’t stop her from blurting out what was on her mind which usually wasn’t very flattering. But hey, people usually deserved it.

- She’s sort of a nihilist (and would totally fit in with Millennials and Gen Z) and can be a bit depressing to be around sometimes. But she’ll send you all the memes (let’s pretend they had memes, okay). That was her primary way of communication at one point and Ediltrude was a little worried (not to mention sick of the damn memes). But they got over it and Zara is more talkative now.

- She has a more instinctual approach when it comes to magic and didn’t spend that much time studying. She preferred to practice instead and have physical, tangible results instead of something she read in a book which often ended up in a spell gone wrong.

- She is always exhausted because she can never sleep. Ediltrude is pretty convinced the cause is in a potion that went wrong when they were 13 but Zara wouldn’t hear a word of it. She blames it on stress and everyone pissing her off which results in restlessness and sleep problems.

- She pretty much runs on coffee since she gets very little sleep and is kinda a mess. But when it comes to insults, her brain is always ready and on the go. You can’t beat her at that no matter how sleep deprived she is. If only that were true when it came to her studies.

- She is actually a big fan of food (she has to get energy somewhere since she can’t sleep) but stays thin no matter how much she eats. She can barely cook, though, although she is better at it than Ediltrude. But not by much.

- Her strength are potions which she always experiments with. That results in utter chaos at her working space since there are ingredients everywhere. Ediltrude was afraid her animals would accidentally eat the wrong thing and either turn into an object or into a demon.

- Which Zara would’ve probably liked because demons have always been of special interest to her. She’s pretty sure she has a few of those trapped in her own soul and that she would be besties with any demons she can summon. Ediltrude had to keep the summoning spells under lock and key to be sure that she won’t find her sister possessed some day.

Griffin:

- Griffin was the quietest of the three, yet, the most menacing. Nobody dared mess with her after she taught some seniors a lesson for calling her pixie because of the whole thing with Faragonda. Well, nobody but Edi and Zara. But that’s stuff for later.

- She was a bookworm and spent a lot of time in the library, always reading about spells and anything else she could get her hands on, really. Books helped her calm down and escape the crushing reality. She was safe between the pages where the world’s resentment for her couldn’t reach her.

- Her strength were her words but she wasn’t afraid to act when the situation called for it. And there was a situation like that any other day tbh. Someone would decide to be an idiot and she’d have to interfere.

- She was clearly a strategist and would think everything through, coming up with the perfect plan to mess with some fairies or get revenge on a witch that crossed her.

- She was religious about her studies, much like Ediltrude, and the two were always competing for the first place at every class while Zara would just roll her eyes at them and try to take a nap. She didn’t get enough sleep for this shit!

- She is the one member of the trio that can actually cook and won’t burn the whole kitchen down in the process. However, she survives mainly on tea. She has all the tea and that’s pretty much her only intake when it comes to food and liquids. Zara was absolutely shocked when she learned that. Even Ediltrude enjoyed a normal, healthy meal once in a while. But not Griffin. Makes you wonder why she’s so good at cooking. She actually enjoys taking care of others by making them meals but she would never admit it.

- She knows everything about plants and is a specialist on herbalism. Have a health problem? She’ll cure you in hours. She has so many plants you feel like you’re in the jungle.

- She’s not that much into animals but crows have always liked her and she - them. They are one of the most intelligent animals and she feels them as companions in a way. Their presence calms her and helps chase away the loneliness.

- She also knows everything about crystals and how to use them in spells. Especially healing spells. She’s always been good at those but all the negativity and hate the world has been giving her for the fact that she’s a witch with dark magic pushed her to seek out the more destructive side of her magic and utilize it instead of what she was naturally good at.

- Her knowledge of astronomy helps her coordinate her spells so that they draw power from the cosmos, making her magic even stronger since she’s using nature in her favor. It gave her a big advantage on all the other witches and she loved showing off with that by challenging seniors to sparring (when she wasn’t one herself) and defeating them.

Now for the friendship:

- Griffin was transferred into the twins’ room after it turned out Faragonda was a fairy. So it was kind of a last minute arrangement and nobody was happy about it. Least of all Griffin and Edi and Zara.

- The three didn’t like each other at first. The twins were hellbent on giving her grief about being a fairy but she quickly managed to “convince” them not to do it. Magic was involved. It wasn’t pretty. They learned not to mess with her though. Still, that only made the relationship between them even more strained. Not to mention that Griffin couldn’t stand the arguments between Zara and Edi and would soon get involved into the mess herself.

- Sharing a dorm room wasn’t easy for the three of them since they practically had no space to move around. Between Griffin’s plants, Zara’s potions and Ediltrude’s clothes the room was packed. Quite a few incidents with Zara’s potions occurred because of the limited space. Not to mention that the tensions always raised through the roof in the matter of seconds thanks to the stuffy atmosphere.

- To add to that, Ediltrude had had the brilliant idea to sneak two of her snakes into the room. Even Zara didn’t know about that so she was quite scandalized when Griffin found the snakes in her bed. Ediltrude begged them both to keep her secret. Zara agreed easier than Griffin who finally gave in on condition that Ediltrude failed that upcoming test they had. It was more of a test of its own, though, since she wanted to see just how much the snakes meant to her. She didn’t let her fail in the end. That was when Ediltrude realized that the two of them may have more in common than originally thought, acting tough but that was actually only a veneer that hid a sensitive soul underneath.

- Zara found out how caring a person Griffin actually was when she blew up one of her plants with a potion gone wrong but instead of getting angry with her, Griffin made her some tea to help her sleep and concentrate to avoid more of those accidents. At first Zara thought she was trying to poison her but when she saw the results, she was grateful to Griffin. That was the first time in years that she actually managed to sleep like a normal person.

- The three soon figured out how well they work as a team and then it was over for all of those other witches. Of course, there was still the problem with the space they were facing but things ran much smoother when they weren’t at each other’s throats all the time. Their energy went into making life miserable for everyone else. And they were too good at it. From hating each other they went to being inseparable.

- So when Ediltrude’s snakes were finally discovered during senior year, Griffin and Zara stood up for her. Which earned them suspension for a month as well. That month was well utilized, though, in wreaking havoc all around their home planets with their friendship going as strong as ever.

- In fact, they only fell out of touch when Griffin joined Valtor and the Ancestral Witches.

That’s all I got for you today! Now I want to make an aesthetic about the three of them! Damn, and I have a lot of other stuff to work on. I’m going out of my mind here with everything I want to get done!

[grimchances]

(ryver-styx-gym) ⚜🐋

⚜- What is the most precious thing you own?

I’m not really sure about the most precious thing I own. I actually lost all of my sentimental items in a flood about a year ago now, so there’s not really much that I have a lot of deep attachment to. 

I suppose my whole life is on both my computers and I wouldn’t have great quality of life without them or my drawing tablet. Funny thing, I used the insurance money from the flood to buy my drawing tablet, so I guess that counts as my most precious item now. Ha!

Also really really really attached to my copy of Pokemon X that was the game that got me back into Pokemon and I have never reset it or deleted that same file.

🐋- share a Weird/funny story?

Okay so I love telling this story and I feel it’s relevant to this blog, so here goes. One of my faves. 

Lemme tell you why I always carry a deck of cards with me. 

Under a cut because it’s a lil wordy, but it’s a great story, I promise it’s worth your time!

About two and a half years ago, I went to this performing arts camp in the area that’s fairly well known. Lemme just say? I had a total blast going and even though I was significantly older than everyone else there, nobody seemed to mind. Kickass time. 10/10 I’d do it again any day. 

WELL Each week of camp was a new program and we’d practice and work on it between fun acting, dancing, and singing exercises and that. GREAT TIME. Well at the beginning of each week, they’d separate us by age group and pull each age group aside to have us do a little mini “audition” type deal in front of our peers as a way for the camp directors to decide what parts we would be suited for and all that. It was called singing circle. 

When you were called on by the counselor at the front of the room, you would stand up, tell everyone your name and grade (for me it was my age because I was 21 at the time) and they would ask if you played any instruments. WELL what they would ask is “do you play anything?” and being the smartass that I am, I figured I’d list a game. Well, I really like playing cards and I figured I’d say a card game, but I was in a school and I was surrounded by like 14-17 year olds and didn’t wanted to keep things fairly PG.

So, I replied “No instruments, but I play a mean game of go fish” and everyone would laugh. It was fun! I also love being funny and making jokes so the good response it got was priceless to me. 

Well then I got to thinking… I have a lot of cards cuz I love card games and with there being so many people there, it might be fun to bring cards so we could play. So I brought a deck of cards with me and asked everybody to play. 

WELL, all the older kids wanted to play blackjack and wanted to like… bet their lunch snacks and all that and AS MUCH FUN as that would have been, we were in a school and I was being watched very closely by higher-ups because of who my family are and because I was the oldest person there (I was older than most of the counselors, too. They were all like 19ish) so I decided NOT to start a small gambling ring in the gym of the local highschool and told them all no. They lost interest. If we weren’t playing poker or blackjack, they weren’t interested. Fine. 

So I ended up playing it with the littler kids there. 

Now something of note about me? I’m actually LITERALLY notorious for being unlucky. RNG and circumstance HATES me and I can literally count the number of games I’ve ever won on one hand. That’s how bad I am. My family joke that I’m cursed. I’ve lost chutes and ladders to an 8 year old where I never got past the first square. I’ve had shiny Pokemon escape from a critical capture and self destruct on the first turn. I’ve never won a bet and I’ve never won a game of cards.

It may be because I was playing against 9 year olds, but I swear to you I won every game I played. IT WAS MAGNIFICENT.

These little children were like “WOW you really DO play a mean game of go fish” and I just grinned and winked like “you see what I mean? I told ya.”

BUT THAT’S NOT WHERE THE STORY ENDS. Oh no.

See, I also have an instance of the only game we played that WASN’T go fish that caused me to swear out loud in front of a bunch of small children.

There was… this little tiny child. I mean the smallest human being I’ve probably ever seen, she was barely to my waist and I’m extremely short. She was the sweetest little thing and she comes up to me and is shy, trying to get my attention amidst this sea of these younger kids. It was kind of cute, they all thought I was really cool and would follow me around and imitate me, it honestly brought me LIFE. ANYWAY, she barely is able to get my attention and she asks me

“Can we play crazy eights?”

and I’m sitting there thinking HELL YEAH we can play crazy eights I love that game! So, for those who aren’t aware, the goal of the game is lay down cards that match the suit of the face up card, or if they’re the same value you can lay them down to change the suit and so on. 8’s are wild cards that can change the suit to anything.

The other lil kids didn’t know how to play it so we played a round or two with an open hand to show everyone how it was done and then started the first game. Well at this point we were probably about halfway into week 2 of the camp and I’d become somewhat well known for carrying around cards and for playing card games to the point people called me “cards” as a nickname and things like that. There were also like 9 magicians there who would come find me so they could do card tricks for people. It was great. tbh, I’d go find them and pull the deck out of my pocket (or sometimes my sleeve if I was being a shit) and would ask them to do tricks, it was amazing.

ANYWAY, so by this point, people know we play games in the morning and come to watch us play or to join in. I’m playing crazy eights with like twelve to fifteen-ish young children with even more watching. There were probably about 30 or so people involved. Counselor included.

We’re playing and I’m absolutely destroying everyone at it again and THIS game is totally based on the luck of the draw, so it was totally up to chance that I was winning. I had ONE card left and the deck was the right suit, I was about to win and that little tiny girl. The little itty bitty mouse of a girl is right beside me. Her turn comes directly before mine. She also has one card. I didn’t know this. She lays it down, and it’s an 8. She wins.

and at that moment in front of 30 small children I shouted “GODDAMNIT”

I swear to you the sharp intake of breath was powerful enough to create a vacuum inside that school gymnasium. The doors indented a little bit just from the sheer power of the inhalation as the realization hit this sea of tiny children that this good noodle role model they’d been following around for over a week just said a bad word.

…and what was my first reaction to swearing in front of all those children?

I cupped my hands to my mouth and said “Ah shit” without even thinking about it.

The counselor that had been listening in on us from his seat on the bleachers nearby was LOSING IT. He was trying SO HARD not to laugh and I just, am the center of focus and all the children have gone silent. They’re staring at me like I just murdered someone and I have to think of a quick recovery. WELL

I just looked at them calmly, but on a smile and said “I’m what you’d call a bad influence, kids. Don’t do what I do” and then just kept going.

Needless to say, we didn’t play any more crazy eights, but I did still win literally every single game of go fish without fail. People stopped wanting to play it with me because I literally won in a single turn once. That had NEVER happened to me before and I swear to you it hasn’t happened again since, but it’s honestly one of my favorite stories.

[fckmonax]

                                     mona mason (task#3)

what is your muse’s full name?

Ramona Elizabeth Mason


what are your muse’s pronouns?

she/her 

what is your muse’s sexuality?

heterosexual


when is your muse’s birthday?

November 4, 1996


what is your muse’s star sign? do they care about astrology?

Scorpio. She’ll read her horoscope every now and then and is always interested in knowing the signs of people she meets, but she doesn’t actually believe in it or anything.


how many siblings does your muse have (names and ages)?

2 sisters (Hazel, 21 and Savannah, 27) and 1 stepsister (Chelsea, 24)

describe your muse’s relationship(s) with their sibling(s).

Mona’s relationships with Hazel and Savannah are still very new and she’s still getting used to knowing them. Despite being full siblings, their childhoods were way different with Mona being raised by her dad in Connecticut, Hazel being raised by their mom in Georgia, and Savannah growing up to adoptive parents in Washington. They all live together now and she loves and values them so much, but there are still a lot of things about their personalities that are conflicting and it’s super frustrating sometimes. Mona’s relationship with Chelsea is a rocky one and always has been. Mona’s dad and Chelsea’s mom got married when Mona was 3 and Chelsea was 6. Even from when they were little and first started living together, they’d feud and constantly fight for attention and always try to get the upper hand on on one another. That’s pretty much how it went for all of the years they lived together up until Chelsea left for college at 18. Now, they still go through phases and a lot of ups and downs where they’ll go like 6 months hating each other and then they spend another 6 months on good terms. Still, they love each other and they like each others’ insta posts and everything.


are your muse’s parents together?

No, they split when she was a baby and Mona’s never met her mother. Her dad is married to her stepmom (Stephanie) though and has been for 18 years. 


describe your muse’s relationships with their parents.

Mona is actually really close to her dad except she’s that typical spoiled brat who treats him terribly like 98% of the time. She still loves him to death and he knows that she loves him and that she isn’t as terrible as she generally let’s on. But legit her dad would do anything for her. They talk on the phone every Sunday, but he’s pretty much texting her at all times just telling her about his day. Mona doesn’t have a relationship wth her mom at all. And her relationship with her stepmom is that she’s just kind of… there. She’s not like an evil stepmother or anything and they love each other. She’s just not close to her like she is with her dad even though she’s known her like her entire life.


has your muse ever been in any serious romantic relationships (details please)?

Mona was in one kind of serious relationship after graduating high school, but it only lasted for 6 months before her boyfriend broke up with her. Prior to that, she had never been in any actual relationships because they were just never really her thing. Now she’s dating Fabian and they’ve technically only been official for a little over a month, but they’re so deep into it. She loves him so much and can legit picture herself with him forever which is actually something she’d never experienced or even wanted to experience before. 


who is your muse’s best friend?

There are a lot of people in her life who have that title, but she thinks of them as best friends all in different ways. The siblings Daza, Marlon, and Vera. 


is there anyone your muse would die for?

Hazel’s dog Coco. But tbh I feel like Mona’s the type that would legit jump in front of a bullet/bus for anyone if the situation was unfolding and she felt like she could help.


does your muse have any pets (list them)?

She just got three kittens: Duchess, Berlioz, and Toulouse.


what is your muse’s favorite color?

Red. Mona loves how bold it is and how it has the power to immediately capture anyone’s attention. Also blood.


is your muse vegetarian, vegan, etc?

Nope.


what is your muse’s favorite food?

It’s really weird, but she loves brussel sprouts.


is your muse more likely to cook or order takeout?

It’s like a 50/50 split and mostly a matter of convenience.


what is your muse’s favorite drink?

Water. She actually lives water despite it being the most boring drink on the planet. She will legit drink it all day everyday.


is your muse allergic to anything?

Peaches.


would you consider your muse healthy?

Yeah, she’s fairly healthy in terms of food intake, but she could definitely do better with exercising.


does your muse have any health ailments (diseases, disabilities, etc.)?

Nope.


does your muse drink alcohol?

Yes.


does your muse smoke?

Only occasionally, but she does have control over it. 


does your muse do any drugs (please list)?

Only ever recreationally and in social settings. Marijuana, cocaine. She did shrooms once.


does your muse have any tattoos?

Nope, but she’s open to the idea of getting some in the future.

describe your muse’s style (fashion)?

I’d describe Mona’s style to be very simplistic. She’s not much into patterns and will typically limit all outfits to solid tones only unless it’s something extra bold and she’s trying to make a statement. But 6/7 days of the week, you could probably just catch her in some sort or denim (jeans or shorts depending on the season) and a crop top. No matter what anyone says, the crop top will never go out of style for her. She basically dresses everyday like a person with zero responsibilities. x x x

describe the way your muse speaks (accent, tone, speed, etc). 

I picture her talking basically the exact same way that Kourtney Kardashian talks. Hella vocal fry, always seems 100% disinterested in the conversation no matter the severity of it. x

is your muse clean, messy, or in between?

Definitely in between. She enjoys clean spaces, but she’s honestly used to not having to clean up after herself. So living on her own is really new territory and so she’s still getting into the habit of cleaning up. I feel like she just lets the things pile up around her until someone points out that her room is a mess and then she’ll clean.

describe your muse’s bedroom (photos encouraged!!).

I feel like her bedroom is cluttered because she’s so used to having unlimited things and unlimited space. So living in a smaller apartment now, she’s still in the habit of just impulsively buying the things she wants despite the fact that she’s clearly running out of space.
 Also smh she is totally extra enough to have an actual chandelier above her bed and a mannequin for the specific purpose of hanging her robe. I hate her. x

what kind of car does your muse drive (color, year, make, model)?

Mona drives a red 2018 Range Rover Sport. Her dad bought her the car as a going away present. 


what is your muse’s favorite book/piece of literature?

The Devil in the White City. It’s about Chicago and the 1893 World’s Fair and it tells that story paralleled with the rise of H.H. Holmes.


what is your muse’s favorite tv show?

Forensic Files. There’s limitless episodes and it’s always on. 
Also, Arrested Development.

what is your muse’s favorite movie?

There Will Be Blood and 10 Things I Hate About You.


what is your muse’s favorite artist/band?

The Smiths, Stevie Nicks, and Rihanna
.

what is your muse’s favorite holiday?

Halloween. It’s socially acceptable to talk about death on that one day of of the year and she lowkey enjoys seeing all the little kids dressed up in their costumes.


is your muse usually early, late, or right on time?

Right on time. Or tbh like exactly 2 minutes late for everything.


what’s the one thing your muse absolutely loves most in the world?

Mona loves freedom more than anything else in the world. As much as she loves her family and appreciates her upbringing, the best thing in the world for  her was moving out and being able to be on her own. She honestly gets a kick out of being able to make all of her own decisions and for that, she doesn’t take well to being told what to do or controlled. Well... she does in some situations.

what’s the one thing your muse absolutely hates most in the world?

Overly positive people. She believes that no one’s life is absolutely perfect and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that bad things can happen and it’s not necessary to always try to put a happy spin on things. It isolates the people who truly have reasons to feel sorry for themselves by equating their struggles in life to those of people whose problems can’t even be compared. 

what is your muse’s dream job?

Mona’s dream job is no job. But if she had to choose, she would pribably host a crime podcast or something. I feel like no one would listen, though, because they would immediately get tired of her voice.

what is the main thing that your muse wants out of life? (i.e. success, love, family, etc.)

She just wants to be happy and she wants the people she surrounds herself with to be happy. That’s literally it. Everything else can come and go and waver, but as long as everyone is happy and have all of their needs taken care of, then it’s all good.

[l0nd0ninnit]

Bonkai Reunion 8x14 (part 2)

Ok, I know you’ve been waiting for an analysis of this scene and I am ready to deliver. I want you all to know that it is almost impossible to convey in words the level of excitement I feel when I write about this scene but just know that with each word I type, there is a smile on my face that can’t be removed. Like this reunion scene is not even close to what I had imagined or would have wanted their last scene to be, but DAMN...Kat and Chris’ acting/chemistry made what could have been a mediocre scene, a scene full of depth and sexual tension. I mean how many actors can make you feel the intangible connection and sexual tension between their characters when they are on opposite sides of a bar?!! HOW MANY?!! I would be lying if I said I only watched this scene multiple times to analyse because the truth is, I can’t get enough of it. So without further ado

Part 2 of the analysis, The Game:

Keep in mind that when Kai sees Bonnie, he is absolutely unaware that she has put him in another prison world for about a third of their conversation. So imagine his perception of the situation when she saunters in the bar and teases  him with cheeky responses which is a drastic change from how she reacted a day ago to his return. A day ago, she wanted nothing to do with him. Now she is actually talking to him in the flesh. And what is more, she has chained him to a chair in a bar (side eye *smirk* smirk*) and they are alone! He is in the spotlight. She is in the shadows and as she speaks, she slowly walks towards him...there is nothing about this scenario that doesn’t seem sexual. It is like electricity. It is intense and there is this constant feeling of anticipation. And not only that, but her behaviour is different in a way that he can’t quite put his finger on.

It has been years yet she is more confident than ever! She is relaxed and very comfortable in his presence. No attempts to chop his head off yet so everything is looking good. Kai is probably thinking wtf is happening? This must be a dream. Of course, by the end of the scene, we know exactly why Bonnie behaves like this, but the above gif is an example of what he is feeding off of.  Hence, the reason he has this look on his face: 

Kai is intrigued by Bonnie’s behaviour and the unusual setting she chose for them to have this chat. He is trying so hard to contain the joy he feels when he sees her with very little success. He knows that she is playing a game. He doesn’t exactly know what her intentions are, but by the looks of it, it seems to be going in the right direction if you know what I mean. ;) Therefore, he is willing to sit back, get comfortable in his chains and let her play it out, because her behaviour in this moment is the reason why she is the only person he still has a soft spot for. It is like seeing her again, after five years in Hell, has only confirmed why she has always meant something to him. 

So when Bonnie says that Hell no longer exists and he responds:

He is not trying to be condescending; there is low-key admiration in that voice and expression. He isn’t surprised that she helps kill Cade but still, she ceases to amaze him. His tone is soft and honestly he views this entire interaction as some kind of mental foreplay that they always do with each other. 

I mean at this point he could reveal that Katherine takes over Hell, but what is the fun in that? Why stop the game when he doesn’t know how it will end? For all he knows, there could be hate-sex waiting for him at the end of this. He doesn’t know so he prolongs it with banter. It is like a mystery he has to solve. 

Oooo what has Bonnie Bennett planned for me today? 

After all, Kai loves games and no one plays games with him quite like Bonnie does. 

His next line of action is to spew out one-liners to feel her out. He wants to get this game going, put some spice in it. Suss out what her intentions are 

And with each line, the sexual subtext becomes less and less subtle:

This line seems innocent enough but it is also unnecessary. Kai knows Bonnie will not let him loose so why say it? Yes, it could be interpreted as him being clever but remember, underneath that banter, there is a lot of sexual tension. I mean Bonnie literally chuckles in response and the camera suddenly (to my chagrin tbh) goes to a wide-shot where we can’t see their faces but we do see all the red and Bonnie walking towards him...so I would infer if this wasn’t CW but HBO, the line would read: Let me loose, and I’ll totally finger blast you. And you can fight me on that 

And then Kai is like....

You know what, let’s stop mucking about and let me get to the question that has been on my mind since you walked in... are you here to 

 ...because I was totally getting that BDSM vibe from you and i’m literally in chains soooo...if that is what you planned to do then I just want to tell you that I’m ready. My body is prepared and I’m ready for you to punish me *wink*

And then Bonnie says 

which basically makes Kai go mad with lust. If he wasn’t hard before, he is definitely hard af now. To Kai, this is Bonnie just trying to outdo him in their mental chess game and the fact that she is using his own method of delivery to threaten him (such as the head tilts and similar facial expressions) turns him on.  In gif form he is like...

HOLY FUCK! SHE IS SOOO HOT! She just took our mental foreplay to a new level! Using my own fears against me...that is something I would do! Is this woman real? I need to up my game 

 *lowers voice a full octave, husky tone, bedroom eyes*

^Oh Bon, you naughty girl. You know that is not possible so let’s stop with the chit-chat and get to the frick frack. 

Look at his facial expression, tone and mannerisms, without any context, what would your caption be?

Does it look like a man that: 

Is turned on?

Is thinking about sex?

Thinks this conversation will end with Bonnie revealing that she created another prison world specifically for him? 

yes, yes, and no. He thinks he is playing the battle of wits, for fuck sakes. He knows Bonnie is smart, but he doesn’t think she would waste her energy making an ascendant when it has been years since they interacted and he hasn’t tried to hurt her. 

As soon as he sees the ascendant tho, he realises he should have seen this coming. All the qualities he adores about her are the very qualities that would allow for this to happen. He attacked her friends and attempted to kill the twins (*rolls eyes* I blame Plec), so of course Bonnie Bennett would create another prison world to protect the people she loves. 

And yet, the shock is still there  He clenches his jaw to maintain his composure, but he is internally spazzing out. Despite their bad history, he thought this would end differently. He knew she was playing a game but he didn’t think it was that type of game (if that makes sense). She made her final move and checkmate him 

The anger starts to appear when he realises that he has been in Bonnie’s prison  world for their entire conversation. And now, each word that leaves her mouth cuts into him like a knife 

He is scared, he is fuming but most of all, he is hurt which is surprising because he is supposedly free of emotion now 

See the look he gives Bonnie and the deep intake of breath^ 

It is as if he is thinking 

Fantastic! We are that Bonnie and Kai again. 1994 prison world Bonkai... we play mind games and then hurt each other at the end of it. She is still punishing me for what I did to her in 6x22. 

And what surprised me is that his initial response is not to return the favour, but to plea for Bonnie to stay. It is true that his fear is to be in another prison world, but his worst fear is to see the only person he cares about, Bonnie, once again leave him like in 6x17. He is far too vulnerable in this moment to think of his next ‘chess’ move or even hide the power she has over him.

It is only a flicker tho He wasn’t suppose to show Bonnie that he cares 

Part 3: How the tables turn 

@bonkai-legacy @albion19 @bonkai-diaries @ohh-my-josh @animelifecx @ms-ss

(None of the gifs used in this post are mine. Here are the links to the original gifsets: X, X, X, X, X. Please take a moment to reblog the original gifset if you haven’t already. It takes time to make gifsets and I am sure the creator will appreciate the love. :) )

Part 1 

[asongbirdandanoldhat]

@focusfixated asked me my top 5 people who made this year more bearable, and top 5 new things I discovered/got into in 2016.

This is the long version.

Made the year more bearable:

I work with a really lovely team. I consider myself very lucky to have fallen in with such a good crowd in my very first job. But it is a very stressful job sometimes, and it can be quite exhausting some days, and although almost everyone I work with makes that easier, rather than harder, my top spot for this would have to go to E, one of our nurses, who is hardworking, good at her job, and has this wonderful infectious excitement about things. She has a “Friday dance”, she renames the patients when she thinks their own names are boring, she can always be counted on to indulge in a chippy lunch alongside you, she taught me Irish dancing in her kitchen last month. She is cheery and personable, and even if she is pissed off or not having a great day, she never makes a drama out of it and she is just generally a joy to work with, and also to hang out with otherwise. (I have reduced her to an initial bc idk it seems sl better etiquette when discussing a colleague on your blog, y’know.)

Light of life, my sun and stars, Pamela. My best friend, living so many miles away from her now sometimes fucking sucks, but she continues to make every day more bearable by her existence. There is so much I could say about her. It is a really beautiful and comforting and just incredible thing to have a person. And she is my person. I am thankful every day that I met her and by some fluke befriended her and tricked her into thinking I’m cool.

You, tbh. Visiting was a highlight. Feel pretty fucking blessed to call you a friend these past... ten years? Wild. Thank you for letting me wax lyrical about things you know nothing about, and letting me semi-force you into caring about them too. Hahaa.

Becky, one of my more frequent visitors in my new location. She comes bearing freshly baked cookies and gifts she has forgotten she had for me that have been in a cupboard in her house for eight months. I live vicariously through her entertaining love life. She gets lost every time she visits. (That is not unique to my most recent residence.) She and another friend visited me at home on boxing day and she got briefly lost on her way then too. She is the kind of friend you shouldn’t really be able to make in a small group forced together by circumstance - such as one’s vet school class; in that we have a genuine sort of same wavelength connection - pov, taste, sense of humour - that is really lucky to find in another person. I love her dearly. I miss living with her.

In general, the most prominent feeling I have about any of my friends is ‘lucky to know them’. More in the ‘lucky to know of them’ category, imma give my fifth position to Lin Manuel Miranda, for being a beautiful beacon of light in my year. What a guy.

Discoveries: While 2016 was a shit year in a lot of categories, it was a dream for my media intake tbh. I fell very in love with quite a few things that massively improved my year.

Hamilton - The soundtrack to my year. A fact to which my neighbours (whom I have never actually met) can almost certainly attest. I have listened to the cast album, and more recently the mixtape, just a ridiculous amount. I’m kind of relieved spotify doesn’t keep a playcount. (I’m pretty sure I didn’t actually start listening to it ‘til 2016, so it counts.)

The Adventure Zone - who knew three brothers and their dad playing D&D would be the highlight of my year? It was certainly one of them. I was vaguely aware of the McElroy brothers, but hadn’t heard or seen any of their other projects before I started listening to the Adventure Zone. Which in some ways is a shame, because I don’t think anything else will be as fantastic. TAZ is a fun amusing romp from the first episode, but dear goodness, does the storytelling get better and better. It’s just supremely good and never not hilarious. I strongly encourage you to give it a try if you have even the smallest suspicion it might be your thing. Let Griffin McElroy be your dungeon master and your best friend. Meet and fall in love with occasionally competent dwarven cleric Merle Highchurch, folk hero and artisan carpenter Magnus Burnsides, and my favourite shitty wizard Taako Taaco.

The Raven Cycle - I do not need to explain to you the ridiculous hole I fell into regarding this series. I am genuinely not sure if there has been a day that has passed since I read them that I haven’t thought about one of those kids (Adam Parrish - I mean, not alllways, but lbr, mostly yes). I care about them a great deal. God bless tumblr for knowing what’s most definitely up my street.

The Kingkiller Chronicles - this is another finding thanks to tumblr. Actually, I think all of this list are so far? But yes. This one was thanks to just one user I follow (shout out to @kvothes) whom had mentioned it enough and with such fondness that I had to give it a look. I read the Name of the Wind when I was in Turkey with my fam. I like fantasy in general, magic specifically, and adore stories about stories, books about books. So yeah, I was quickly sold on Kvothe’s tale. He is such an arrogant little shit, I love him. I’m only a little bit of the way into the Wise Man’s Fear (the second novel) and already know I’m going to hate the wait for the next one once I finish it.

Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary - more of a “made 2016 more bearable” than something you get into, as such, but not a person so putting it here. Best addition to my tumblr dash this past year. I care about these beautiful old dogs a lot. Get so worried when any of them get hospitalised. When I am old and ready to retire, send me to ofsds. It looks like a lovely place.

[wnsyafira-blog]

2017;

So where do I start? My life changed, 360 degree. Thats for sure. I spent most of my 2017, 11 months to be exact, in Dengkil. I was doing my Foundation in Law, I graduated with a CGPA of 3.59. I did pretty good for my second semester to be compared to my first semester...hahah I got straight A’s, with a GPA of 3.85. It was hard tho. I sacrificed all my social life for it. I deactivated my Instagram hahaha if you know me well, yall will know how I love posting picture on Instagram. But it was totally worth it, I shall say? Well I kinda ignored my boyfriend, we don’t really talk to each other everyday. Ignored my best friend as well. I wonder if Aike still read my tumblr tho. I dont think he will. I am pretty sure he dont even know this page exists? He tends to forget little things like this.  I learnt alot. It was my first time of living alone on my own from my family. I learnt to wake up at 6 in the morning everyday, by my own self. Without mama have to knock my door and shout at me. I learnt to make my own breakfast. I learnt mostly everything, things that I dont have to do at home. It was pretty tough at first. But I was blessed with good souls there that make me learn these things. Despite all of that, the main highlight here is, I get to know people. I learn to acknowledge different character of humans.  Aisyah, or Eca. She is my roommate for 2 semesters, we got close to each other after 2 weeks I guess? On our last semester, we were placed in the same class, L13. I was kind of scared tbh? Bcs I am more comfortable to not have the same class because ya know, its quite challenging if you were to see each other alot, the chances to gaduh or get misunderstand is higher ya get me? And yes, its true tho.. we kinda had a little fight not really a fight but a silent treatment thing if that makes sense? But it got sorted out pretty quick. Shes nice. But I ever since she got close to Jo, she would choose Jo over me which is pretty sad, but its okay. Maybe I am not a good listener/adviser. Maybe Jo is a better friend for her. I got over this anyway! Auni, she is my jiran depan hahaha our jodoh is quite strong, we were placed in the same class for 2 semesters straight! Man, this is my bae. My bae! We were very clingy to each other. I freaking love Auni, I have no words to describe my love for her. I can feel that she is very sincere to be my friends. But, I believe that things are not always good. We got a little misunderstand over something really small and we got drifted apart ever since. It was totally heartbreaking for me, it got sorted out but yeah after the fights, it was kind of awkward for us to be back to normal I assumed? And I started to distance myself from her because I was kinda terasa because she kept to her own self about her problems...I mean..its fine but it was frustrating seeing your friends sedih? And even more, I told Auni almost everything and she did not anggap me the same thing. i mean, I thought I was your best friend? But if I were to choose one person, I would definitely go for Auni. She is the nicest person.  Wafa. This one is totally complicated. I love Wafa, I love our friendship. I would do anything for her. I hate watching her crying. I was there whenever she cried, because man, she did the same thing. We got each other’s back. I hate it when people talk bad about Wafa because I know her true self. She is not always bad, she is a really good friend. Shes the type of person who would come over whenever you are having a bad day even if its 2 in the morning, yes that is Wafa. But I guess she dont anggap me how I anggap her. Maybe I am just another friend. She cut me off from her circle macam tu je even when I asked her ‘’hey is there anything wrong between us? If ada, please let me know.’’ She said nothing is wrong but I can totally sense something. Its okay, I will always pray for her happiness.  Syed Syafiq, people would always sees us together. Whenever ada Nadia, ada Syafiq and the other way round. We helped each other. Whenever I have a problem, I would talk to him, hes 25 this year, so I kinda preferred to talk to him because he always sees problem differently. And whenever Syafiq have a money problem, he’ll always find me. I dont mind though, because I know he helped me alot. But yeah, things are not always good, again. He ignored my text, my calls after we finished foundation. I wonder what went wrong, what did I do...and soon enough, on 11/12/2017, I found out he went to UM’s bachelor of Laws interview, I never knew there was an intake for UM. He never told me, I felt betrayed, because we freaking did everything together I spent my whole study week with him. We studied for our first semester’s final, together, we ate during our study week together, we shared our notes, we freaking shared everything hahahah I cried for 2 days straight? yeah. I dont get out of my room for 2 days. I skipped my meals, I went out for toilet only when my parents were sleeping. When we were applying for UITM’s intake, we were doing it together....I even asked Ema to help him out to tanya the lecturer if we can apply for Econs..but it wasnt his fault anyway. Its my own fault to be exact, I yang tak aware that there were an intake for UM. But if you were in my shoes, you’ll understand. Theres alot more to describe. But these 4 are the main friends back in Dengkil. I dont hate them, never. Because of these 4, I learnt alot. Maybe its not them. Maybe its me. My main problem about me that I noticed is, I always expect more from them. Maybe if I dont have such expectations, things wont ended this way. Maybe if I anggap them as friend, only friend, not a freaking best friend, I dont have to cry every night thinking of them. Basically in 2018, in my next life, in my next steps of life, I would not be too nice to others. I have to learn to say no. I will learn to be heartless..... I swear I was too nice. Too nice. I ran to the main gate in my pyjamas when I was sleeping because my friend called me suruh bayar uber, not once, twice. I sacrificed my money to bagi pinjam to my friend while that time I only have 50 bucks to survive, I split it into 2. I bagi dia 25, and I 25. I can simply say no but I dont have the heart to say so? I did my friend’s debate speech because he was busy? I paid for every printing work. They never pay me back or even bother asking ‘’berapa eh print tadi?’’. But God is fair enough, I got pretty good marks and results. I was too nice of offering all of my food stocks, i only got to makan roti with nutella thrice then I found out dah habis. After everything pun, they never anggap I as best friend, there will be always another person as their best friend. I will just stay as another friend, yes. Another friend yang baik. Thats what I am.

[lesoleilxjulien]

tokyo - alternate.

And there's very few words exchanged between them, really. It's more Julien doing the talking, but only when necessary. Only to ask to let him in, and only to let Jerome know what he's thinking. But julien stays quiet and when he feels his touch on his skin he continues to gaze at Jerome, his fingers stuttering in Jerome's locks as they stare at each other but just as fast as Jerome's hand appears it disappears. Julien blushes a little, his ears turning a light dusty rose but he'd reach for the covers and pull it up to cover their shoulders before moving closer and resting a hand on Jerome's shoulder "is this okay?;;"

Jerome wanted to caress longer. Wanted to let his hand wander over the soft skin just for moments more but it would look like something if he did. It would look like he'd do something. So he had to retract his hand. But now he's just staring at him, getting lost in his eyes and he thought thinking was overwhelming alone, he doesn't know how to describe what his mind is doing now. He doesn't see the blush, the light too little for him to catch it, but he does notice his body moving closer to him and this familiar heat ignites in his chest but maximised ten times over. It's not like he remembers in the moment now, how a similar feeling captured his heart a long seven or so years ago. It's not like he clearly can pinpoint that feeling now to the girl he ran into just hours/days ago, similar but incredibly different. It's not like he realised this kind of feeling to be something he felt later in his relationship but feels it now for Julien with the label of best friend strapped to his back. What he does realize that though somewhere in the back of his mind he knows it to be reminiscent but for the first time in all those years of seeing her in different people he grew intimately close with, she was gone. And he could only see him. Even with her being so close. Even with her face updated in his mind. Even with the remaining figurative sting on his wrist at where her dainty fingers wrapped around him. She was gone and Julien was there. It makes him take an intake of breath, creating dizziness with being overwhelmed by picking up on Juliens scent mixed with his own due to mere proximity and the fact that Julien sleeps in his shirts. /his/ shirts. This feels like something he wants to have. Weekly. Daily. Hourly. Just so close. With him. Together. Juliens hand rests on his shoulder and he hears the question. /is this okay?/ and you can hear an audible swallow, similar to when they would fall on the couch together and laughing ceases for a moment when they stare at one another at the position they found each other in or to when Jerome seemingly wants to do something like lean in but stops himself. Similar to that bops his Adams apple up and down. And for a few mere moments he doesn't respond, too caught up in the eyes he glanced into that night when he realised Julien wasn't just another person to add to some kind of fuck list, but instead to be a person to watch his heart around. Because look away and he'd steal it. Get distracted and he'd steal it. Drown in pools of chocolate brown and he'd steal it. /is this okay?/ and Jerome finally does something, he moves a bit closer. Such a tiny distance but noticeable if paid attention. And he nods a bit, wanting to say "Everything you do is okay. Okay to me. Okay for you to do to me." and he does, in the most quiet whisper that's unheard to the curious walls of the hotel room and barely even heard by the male next to him. The last part of his sentence gets cut off though by the whisper turning inaudible as he rips his gaze away to focus on a different part of his face for a moment, his eyes giving a too quick of a heart rate that he can feeling pulsing.

Julien can feel him move closer, can smell his scent and the way it mingles with his own. And he knows that Jerome has just been having an emotional and tumultuous couple of days but julien still settles close bc Jerome needs him and that's the most important thing. It's intimate, the pair curled up under the blankets, and their voices are so soft that everything they say is only meant for the other person, nobody else. And when Jerome says that and turns his gaze away, julien feels his heart flutter, feels all these emotions that are so strong because even when they're like this Jerome has a way of making Julien's heart race. Julien's hand relaxes, the hold on Jerome's shoulder warm. But julien instead slides his hand down, palm slipping along his body before he rests his hand on Jerome's hip. It feels right, having it down there. And his teeth sink into his lower lip, half asleep but also very much alert but he just wants to be there for him. "Can I hold you? Would that be okay too?" he'd ask, voice shy; he doesn't know what to expect in response

OMFG RIP NO. JEROME LETS HIM DO EVERYTHING. yo i feel like they'd awake spooning because jerome turned around in his arms during the night and wOW WHAT A NICE POSITION THAT IN THE FUTURE JULIEN FINDS HIMSELF IN ALWAYS BC JEROME LOVES HIM THERE and ugh UGH YO JEROME WOULD JUST WANT TO PULL HIM BACK AND HE WOULD LIKE GRAB HIS HAND AS JULIEN GETS OUT OF BED BUT THEN HE LETS GO AFTER A MOMENT all like letting the fingers slip from his grasp before glancing down and falling back onto the soft mattress because he's so tired and they slept so late and his mind didnt stop working throughout the whole night AND JFC THE TRAINWRECK YO PEOPLE WOULD JUST QUESTION A LOTTTTT

TBH. Julien would wake up with his arms around Jerome's waist and his face buried into the nape of Jerome's neck. And honestly Julien absolutely hates that he has to wake up and leave bc it feels so nice and comforting? But he knows he needs to get back to his room before people start waking up and he'd lift a hand to run in Jerome's hair "Rome? I have to go back to my room..." murmuring softly while trying to get out of bed. Julien doesn't want to leave;;;; he'd tuck Jerome into bed "I'll see you at the airport, okay? Get some rest." And he's all tired and exhausted but he just wants Jerome to be okay

oh my god. Jerome would honestly feel the need to freak out about this but he doesn't, he just would miss the warmth against his back and he just wants to pull him near and keep this serene moment because its beautiful and he doesn't know what will happen when the door closes and he is left alone again. And yo he'd probably grab his hand when he's tucking him in because /can't you stay?/ but then he'd let go and "Okay." he almost sounds defeated but he knows why he has to leave, too many questions, "You too.." and OK when Julien would be near the door Jerome would curl further under the blankets and "Thank you for caring about me." He'd be faced away from Julien then and the words leave him in a whisper but it's loud enough tot hear. and he'd mumble to himself /you have no idea in which ways i care about you/ when Julien would eventually close the door upon exiting BECAUSE HOLY SHIT HE IS FEELING EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

Ugh yes. It's just before sunrise in Tokyo and Julien just needs to make sure he's in his room before anyone else wakes. He wishes he could stay a bit longer, just long enough for the sun to let some of its rays shine into the window on Jerome. But he has to go. When Julien gets to the door and hears that, his heart skips a beat. He wants to say something, but he knows that if he does he might slip. It's too early to have this conversation, and there's no time, so he stays quiet instead. He opens the door and quietly leaves, heading straight to his room and climbing into his bed that hasn't been slept in, that's cold and lacks any warmth that Jerome's bed did. He doesn't see Jerome again until he's at the airport, but he's sending little texts throughout the day for him ;;;;

and Jerome wants to be protected but can't admit it because he'll look weak and he can't have that. At least he can't admit it verbally. dries tears He has a problem trusting but physically Jerome trusts Julien with so much that realizing it can scare him. Their gentle breathing would be unison and Jerome doesn't dare to open his eyes. because what if Julien is looking at him? And how would his breathing go if he sees with his own eyes how close they are now? They fall asleep like this, Jerome's thoughts slowly turning into background noise as he allows himself to bath in this warmth. H O N E S T L Y before Jerome would eventually turn around so he awakens as the little spoon he'd let his hand be removed from under him and he'd let his fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt that covers Juliens chest. Just over his heart. and he'd do that in his half asleep state and ;3; im shaken at how soft this is. Like it's so much care. So much. It's just the two of them and Juliens breathing would basically sing him to sleep like a lullaby im- rip ;-;

[grubhivemind]

AURYHN: -it's a BEAUTIFUL MORNING. of course, every morning on avalon is beautiful if you ask auryhn, but skaia is nice too... he decides to spend this time with kavi, dropping in at his apartment to invite him out for brunch.- 

AURYHN: -KNOCK KNOCK on kavi's door.-

KAVI: =Finally his board charged up enough to get him home.... yeah he  could walk but who the fuck even WALKED anymore. Bums without hoverboards is who. His watch vibrates with an alert someone knocking on his door. Tapping at the interface he sees it's Auryhn... Yay! Wait. SHIT. Some more watch tapping and he patches himself through his home audio and pulls up his wind resistent mouth piece.= who is it? =Sing-songy like he already knows. PCHOOOOOS back home=

AURYHN: -grins, completely UNAWARE of the situation.- It's me~! ~}==> -replies just as cheesily.-

KAVI: =bless his soul= ooh hi Me, i don't know any Mes but since this Me sounds strapping and attractive how can i not let them into my home? be right there =Disconnects and descends= 

KAVI: =He could slow down.... but that's for wimps. Taps more at his watch to open his balcony doors. Capchas the board, action rolls in and jogs across the room to open the door. Leaning there heavily, panting lightly= hello lover ;)

AURYHN: -still wearing that dorky smitten grin of his.- Good morning, deerheart! ~}==> 

AURYHN: You look-- -pauses to actually inspect him.- Winded? ~}==>

KAVI: =Deerheart.... what a nerd. Leans up to kiss his cheek= lol... windswept maybe =Don't mind the bags... which he knows he has so he shrugs= 

KAVI: uh, yknow... long night

AURYHN: -frowns sympathetically- I see... Then you haven't slept? ~}==> -he spots those bags.-

KAVI: =Mmm, it's tempting to lie but that's not really useful to anyone. He just casts a glance down the hallway. Casual like= nnnnot in the traditional sense 

KAVI: but i'm still good, just not tired

AURYHN: So it's a matter of restlessness ~}==> -he concludes, and then considers this.- 

AURYHN: Very well! Then we have no choice but to find methods of relaxing you! ~}==> -he's decided this is his project for today and carefully turns kavi around to march him back inside his apartment.-

KAVI: =Waffles and hashbrowns though... not that he was aware of the plans he's just glad to spend time with Auryhn= lol yeah we can if you want 

KAVI: =is marched back in-- oops he left the balcony doors open... Boop boop beep on the watch and closes them= i'm ready to be soothed by your smooth jazz stylings babe 

KAVI: take me away like i'm Natasha Bedingfield, minus all the stoners planting labels on my lyrics. it's not weed guys, calm down

AURYHN: -eyeballs the balcony doors as he catches a glimpse of them closing. hmm... suspicious... but he won't worry about it too much for now, plopping kavi down onto his couch and immediately giving his shoulders a rub.- Jazz, hmm? That's an excellent idea... Let's put on some soothing music! That always helps me ~}==> -of course, soothing music for him is heavy metal-

KAVI: =Mmm the rubs. Bless these strong troll man hands. Grinning because... yes... he knows this= are you going to sing me to sleep on a bitchin guitar riff, Pegasus?

AURYHN: I could if you wanted me to! ~}==> -grins, leans in to kiss his cheek- 

AURYHN: However, I have a feeling that would only excite you more ~}==> -chuckles, releasing his grip on kavi's shoulders to produce his comm, hooking up a little speaker to it before he settles on a playlist. some jazzy chill beats he thinks kavi will like. it's relaxing... but romantic too. a win-win for everybody.-

KAVI: =huffs a soft laugh= excite is a word they use for it, sure 

KAVI: =This musical choice is good though, he does love his slow jams and tbh the saxophone is one of the sexiest instruments?  Was Auryhn behind him or next to him? Either way there's arms in his direction. Let the cuddles commence tho=

AURYHN: -yes, good, he's leaning back against the couch with kavi wrapped up tight in his arms. he allows for quiet to prolong between them so the music can fill the air and their senses. but after a moment, he speaks again, softly.- 

AURYHN: Tell me... Is there something on your mind that's keeping you awake? ~}==>

KAVI: =Yesss. He's still not really tired. Mentally at least but his body is a tad peeved with him riding around for most of the night. Legs especially. They're kind of flipping him off. So he's snug against Auryhn-tiddy just listening to he music and jamming lazily with small bobs of the head or hums to repeat chords . Honing in whenever Auryhn speaks though= 

KAVI: mmmn. kinda, maybe i guess. 

KAVI: it's never really... a thing, like, it might start out that way but then it's like fuckin rabbits in all manners of speaking

AURYHN: Ah, yes... I can relate to an escalation like that ~}==> 

AURYHN: Surely there's a root issue we can focus on and work from there... Or perhaps we could focus on any thought at all! I only know that burning off energy is only so successful when battling your inner demons ~}==>

KAVI: gets you ripped as fuck though =rubs Auryhn's chest and tum, pat pat pat pat= 

KAVI: choice 

KAVI: .... but uh, i guess still thinkin about dem bois. especially with shit having hit the fan.... Colt seems 

KAVI: fine? maybe. i mean, he was eating bones so probably not, not that i'm one to judge someone's bone intake 

KAVI: Joel... idk, haven't heard from him.... not that i messaged him. which is helpful 

KAVI: so. just makes me wonder, if i'm doing this shit right i guess =traces lines over his stomach=

AURYHN: Surely your brothers know how deeply you care about them... ~}==> -rubs at his shoulder- 

AURYHN: This feud is their own, and it is their responsibility to rectify whatever has driven them to such extremes... Though, I can't say I know exactly what's going on between them! ~}==> 

AURYHN: But I know plenty about sibling rivalry... Slepna and I rarely see eye-to-eye, but there is a bond much stronger between us that no disagreement can break ~}==> 

AURYHN: It's the same for them, and the same for you... I believe they'll work it out! And if they require your help in doing so, they will seek it ~}==> 

AURYHN: I do not doubt you've made yourself available to them... However, if you're worried, I don't think it would hurt to simply check in on them ~}==>

KAVI: ... i did talk to Joel, and i mean that's me reaching out i guess and it went about as i guessed it would.... 

KAVI: still that was like. a day before everything fucking happened 

KAVI: "maybe" is a shitty word but hey, maybe if i cracked less jokes and tried to get serious and talk to them 

 KAVI: if you and Slepna hypothetically had your heads up your respective asses then wouldn't, you want someone there with a crowbar to assist in dislodging?

AURYHN: Ah... Well... Perhaps not ~}==> -chuckles- 

AURYHN: We are both very stubborn and prideful, as you know! This does seem to be the case with Colt and Joel as well ~}==> 

AURYHN: Still, approaching it more seriously might help! If they see how it effects more than just themselves... It could give them some perspective ~}==>

KAVI: =snorts softly= yeah i'm pretty aware :P 

KAVI: ...guess that means i shouldn't give 'em the other end of the crowbar then..... they've probably been through enough... maybe let it. calm down 

KAVI: =And not do anything haha..=

AURYHN: At the very least, allow yourself to calm down... I hate to see you out of sorts because of it ~}==> 

AURYHN: You're a good brother, Kavi... There's no need to feel so responsible for them ~}==> -presses a kiss to his head-

KAVI: =Exhales softly and nuzzles into him. He felt a bit like less than a good brother what with all the secrets, how long it took and had taken him to be bit more open around his siblings about actual things.= 

KAVI: thanks, i'll try... =sighs...... inahles and sighs harder.... sits up on the sofa to gently headlock Auryhn and flops over his lap to drag him down to cuddle. SIGHS LOUDLY AND DRAMATICALLY.= alright that's more than enough about me, tell me how my Champion's doing. also you too,how are both my babies?

AURYHN: -OOF, he chuckles, reclining further and wrestling him into snuggles.- We're in tip top health, as usual! ~}==> 

AURYHN: There's been an awful lot of funny business happening around Avalon... Not that this is terribly unusual, but there have been some disappearances... ~}==> -frowns- 

AURYHN: We're doing what we can, but it's been a challenge to find any leads regarding their whereabouts ~}==>

KAVI: =Good. This is his now, has a loose hold on him and plays with the ponytail. Pulls a face= 

KAVI: that's super not great... yikes 

KAVI: is it town disappearances or is this diving into the unknown junglescape where nothing makes sense and is super, incredibly not fantastic at all?

AURYHN: Well... It is likely they are connected to the paranormal phenomenon of the forest ~}==> 

AURYHN: In fact, it seems very likely they were just spirited away! But I'm certain there is still a way we can rescue them ~}==>

KAVI: yeah it's definitely not great. just careful while you're out there, kay? =He loves the heroic aspect of Auryhn's personality but it could also get him into some dangerous fuckin happenings. Avalon isn't the most dangerous place sans for the forest.... and since this probably involved that he's worried= 

KAVI: don't go around sayin shit like "wow, can't believe my retirement is today" or "man this has been such a good day, what could possibly go wrong?" 

 KAVI: also "i love living and being alive" =puts hand over his mouth briefly= also "oh HUN i'll never disappear" then you do your signature brawny laugh and give me a dorky grin and i look into the camera and scream on the inside

AURYHN: BUT I DO LOVE LIVING AND BEING ALIVE! I HAVE TO SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD! ~}==> -GUFFAW- 

AURYHN: I understand your concerns... And believe me, the last thing I want to do is endanger myself! I'm no help to anyone dead ~}==> -says reassuringly-

KAVI: =Babe please, he snickers and rubs Auryhn's face= 

KAVI: truuueeeee =Smooches that face= 

KAVI: who else am i going to imagine when i'm feeling my inner Bonnie and start holding out for a hero?

AURYHN: I can hardly imagine anyone else who quite fits the bill! ~}==> -FLEXES and also returns the smooch.-

KAVI: =:eyes: flex and touches. Yessssss. Still Kavi puts on a coy smile, casually pawing Auryhn's muscles= i can think of a guy KAVI: he's the strong, strapping type

AURYHN: -gasps- Oh really? Who? ~}==> -WHO IS THE OTHER DOG. he will fight him.-

KAVI: yeah man, maybe you've seen him =gently undoes that ponytail and combs his fingers through Auryhn's hair= he's enthusastic, a good dude 

KAVI: great ass which is essential to heroism 

KAVI: goes by the moniker A-a-ron 

KAVI: there's been a distinctive lack of spandex but an influx of deep-vs which i appreciate greatly