#stone monkey hits different.

[szynkaaa]

Full images are here. Minors DNI, those are 18+ doodles.

Password: 18+

[hedgehog-moss]

Last time I went to the village to buy bread I saw a woman in the street who was dressed like a 19th-century peasant, complete with a thick old-timey accent with dialect words no one uses anymore—she was telling a little group of people to follow her so of course I had to drop everything and follow her too.

And it turned out she was a theatre actress who has read a lot of local archives in libraries and town halls, and offered her services to organise guided tours of various villages to tell people about local history in a fun way, by playing characters who lived here in the Middle Ages, the 19th century, or WWII. It's such a cool idea! I talked to her for a bit after the visit and she said she wasn't sure it'd work / attract enough people, but she had groups of tourists + local families show up for the visit every week, in every village where she did this, so she think she'll be hired again next summer.

When I joined their group she was talking about WWII, and how my & other nearby villages were known by the Nazis and Vichy as a hotbed of terrorists, with some Gestapo officers killed in bomb attacks. (In retaliation the Nazis eventually rounded up 100+ locals and deported them to camps, as well as shooting a few.) I was mostly familiar with WWII anecdotes from the North-East, where my grandparents lived during the war, and I found it funny how different they sounded—my grandfather made Resistance activities sound well-planned and careful (espionage, sabotage, underground presses, infiltrating railway services etc) while oral histories around here make them sound a lot more spontaneous and—handcrafted? like "Emile brought what we needed for the bomb in his wheelbarrow hidden under a layer of straw and we exploded 2 Nazis."

We then went to visit the former girls' school, and I learnt a lot about my country's history of education for girls! Also it was really sweet because there was an old lady in our group who had attended this school as a child and had lots of school memories to share. Most of them were very wholesome, until eventually our tour guide went "Surely you also have some School Mischief to tell us about" and the old woman at first was like no no no no, I was a good girl. And then she conceded that when she had to sort lentils for the nuns' dinner and she resented one of them for berating her in class, she'd do a shit job on purpose and leave some little stones in the lentils.

Then our last step was the fairground where the town fair was (and is still) held, and our tour guide told us little 19th-century anecdotes (in-character, more like acting them out) that she'd found in old postcards and letters in the archives—how the town fair was where you'd go for your dentist appointment (i.e. to have your bad teeth pulled with pliers with no pain medicine) and to get any object repaired, like damaged pans or clogs; how there were dancing bears and performing monkeys; how one year the merchant who sold linen for women's trousseaus had her linen display trampled "by 300 cows" (might have been an exaggeration) and she hit the cow herder and it started a massive brawl.

My favourite anecdote was how back in the 1800s the local innkeeper was frustrated by the fact that the nearest village is just 10km away, and people who came to the fair often decided to go spend the night there so their journey back the next day would be less long, and so he started to tell them about the beast that lives under the bridge between the two villages. Travellers say horses go mad when they see it and just jump into the water. Some say the beast has dug up corpses from the cemetery because it likes human flesh, though of course it prefers it fresh. I'm now convinced half of local legends were single-handedly created by business savvy innkeepers determined to get more customers than the rival inn 10km away.

I'm sad I only learnt about these visits at the end of summer when they're coming to an end, but I'll definitely follow this woman around again if she returns with more stories next year!

[complete-clownery]

I just want them to be friends 🐵

Btw i'm watching the whole series rn, after episode 14 I have a vague idea of whats going on but I dont understand a word, not to mention I sped the whole thing up to get it over quicker so its funny af

~SPOILER~

But yeah so far im at episode 30 and ik it doesnt make a whole lot of sense since we didn't see Jade Rabbit and Macaque interact that much, but in my head in the begining of the series they became really good friends after the "ears incident", but after Wukong left, bc of Macaque declinening mental health they just sowly fell further and further appart and jade rabbit didn't understand why was this and could only see her friend's worsening condition and do nothing about it (and this happened in thd course of 7 years cuz even tho in the series it doesnt seem that long in the book Wukong was away for 7 years, and I'd like to think thats the case here too)((I mean maybe a bit longer than 7 years cuz there was also that vilage he spent maybe 5(???) years in learning human behavior and language but im too lazy to search it out of my book, so +/- 10 years))

Also I think even tho Macaque was mad and was a jelous little bitch, Wukong leaving only made things worse for him, feeling betrayed even more and left behind on top of all that other shit that was going on inside his head

Its so funny to me how every Six Eared Macaque adaptation is getting majorly fucked up (he got posessed in both series lmfao)

Oh and obviously I have transed their gender, I think maybe nobody noticed or educated them (cuz (other head canon) he was adopted by the monkey clan since in the original book (jttw) hes also a celestial primate just like the stone monkey, without parents) so everyone thougt they were a boy for some reason, but everyone was really suprised after puberty began to hit Macaque

Tho that didn't made the clan treat him differently cuz nobody really cared and Macaque doesnt give a flying fuck about it either

I also think it would be funny, when Wukong returned he would notice Macaques chest and just casualy ask him how did he got those (he wasnt really educated on the subhect either) and Macaque would be like: "no idea. You didn't get any?" and both of them would be really confused

Later Jade Rabbit gave them a little lesson about it

So yeah even tho I dont understand this serie at all i think its cool af, enjoying it a lot 😎👍

[imminent-danger-came]

Sun Wukong Knew About MK the Whole Time: A Theory

I am currently hyped up on leftovers and iced coffee, so let's do this!

I've talked about this before, here and here, but I think it's finally time I wrote an official post. You can go and read those posts if you want to (I definitely hit the nail on the head with some of this stuff), but I will be compiling a lot of what I said on those posts here!

So. Let's get the Mr. Elephant out of the room first: The David Breen Tweets. (thread here).

I see this tweet mentioned a lot whenever I bring up SWK knowing about MK, and honestly, this is a far cry from the "it's been confirmed that SWK didn't know" definite answer everyone's been implying.

So let's break it down!

#1: "Monkey King ain't the father"/"Monkey King isn't his dad." Well of course! Being born from a stone means you don't have any parents. I see it like this: Wukong isn't MK's dad, but he's also not NOT MK's dad, it's a secret third thing (creator and creation). Or, perhaps Wukong didn't help create MK at all, but he at the very least was involved in the circumstances that lead to MK being created/being born from the stone. (Aka eldritch abomination MK theory. My Beloved. Okay sorry.)

#2: "Monkey King was ripping his way through memories looking for MK, but kept coming back to the stone. He doesn't know why." So, while Wukong was ripping through memories, he didn't know why the scroll kept spitting him out by the stone. This is not a confirmation that Wukong didn't know about MK and his origins. It also begs the question: how did Wukong know MK was in the scroll to begin with? There's also some speculation to be had about why Wukong was so desperate to find MK to begin with:

MK: "Monkey King did this?" Macaque: "It looks like he's been tearing his way through his past—trying to find his way to.." MK: "Me."

(4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

-

What was he so afraid of MK finding? Or, what was he afraid the scroll would force MK to experience? I think these are questions worth asking.

#3: "Wukong's trying real hard to leave the 'not being open with MK' days behind after s3. Problem is he's got lifetimes of info to catch them up on." Well, this one is a DOOZIE. One: we already know MK doesn't know everything about Wukong and his choices because he doesn't know Wukong killed Macaque (thank you 4x11). Two: "trying real hard" and "successfully doing" are very different things. And three: YOU DON'T JUST DROP INFO LIKE "Hey, did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" ON TOP OF SOMEONE RANDOMLY. Especially not MK. You have to prepare them for it.

Wukong is trying to do better and be better for everyone around him, but that still takes work. That still isn't easy. He's still going to make mistakes, which means he's not going to always go about being open with MK in the best way.

Sun Wukong: “Point is, mistakes happen, but so long as you leave the world in better shape than you found it, then it’s all good. Right?”

(4x01 Familiar Tales)

-

This scene—to me—feels like Wukong is trying prepare MK for his eventual "Hey did you know you're a Monkey Demon?" conversation he wants (and needs) to have down the line. Yes, SWK is trying to be more open with MK, but he's also just not going to be given that chance before the truth comes out.

MK: "Yeah right, if Monkey King really was my dad don't you think he would have said something by now?" Mei: "Yeah...because he's normally SOOOOO forth coming with information." MK: "Well uh, whatever—when we find Monkey King's stone, then we'll just ask him!"

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

Notice how they never asked Monkey King that question? From a writing standpoint, why bring this up at all if it wasn't to imply that (even if Monkey King isn't MK's dad) he wasn't involved with MK's creation in some way?

ANYWAYS.

NOW THAT THE BREEN TWEET THAT HAS RUINED MY LIFE IS OUT OF THE WAY, let's get into the evidence given to us throughout the entirety of the show. Starting with this:

This isn't a scene that takes place during the "A Hero is Born" special, as I'm sure plenty of people have noticed before now. Of course, this could have just been Monkey King "scouting out a successor", but with everything we know now doesn't that...feel kinda weird?

We were told at the beginning of the show that Monkey King gave MK his powers, but now we know that's not true. MK has had his own powers this whole time—and that's something Wukong, at the very least, knew:

Sun Wukong: "Listen kid: You fought demons, and you didn't die, and you made it here! Not just anyone can lift my staff, but you did." (1x00 A Hero is Born)

-

MK: "This whole time, I thought my powers came from the staff! Sun Wukong: "The staff's just a big 'ol stick bud! It takes someone special to lift it." (3x03 Smartie Kid)

-

There's also 1x09 Macaque, which I have mentioned before:

Macaque: "Ohohoh no, can't you hold the magic staff anymore? Well, you know what that means—there really isn't anything special about you. You're just a kid with a heavy stick."

This scene is then followed by MK lifting the staff, which only happens because Wukong encourages him.

MK: "Ugh, I can't! I'm not strong enough." Sun Wukong: "Kid! We're definitely going to have words later, but it's time for the Hero Stuff!"

(1x09 Macaque)

-

Ultimately, Wukong knows MK can lift the staff again even after Macaque supposedly stole all of MK's powers. He knows MK can beat DBK (more on that later). He does something similar to all this in 3x14, being the one to let MK face the Lady Bone Demon, powered by the Samadhi fire, alone (even after Pigsy tries to stop MK):

Wukong want's to protect MK. That's why he went to face the Lady Bone Demon alone in the first place—but here, he let's MK stop the end of the world all by himself. Why would he let his beloved student face not only LBD, but a reality ending flame alone?

Because he knows how much power MK has. Because he knows MK is capable of doing it.

This all brings me to my main point: If before now we were supposed to believe that Monkey King gave MK his powers, and he so clearly didn't, how would Wukong not know he didn't give MK powers. And because he clearly knew he didn't give MK any powers, why would he not question where this kid's insane level of power came from? He had to have "chosen" MK to be his successor for a reason right?

ESPECIALLY because Wukong never planned on being a mentor in the first place:

Sun Wukong: "I know I can never make it up to you. Honestly, I- I never thought I'd live as long as I have let alone be someone's mentor—turns out I'm not very good at it. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I'm sorry MK. For all of it."

(3x14 Destiny Fulfilled)

-

This was also alluded to in 3x05 Amnesia Rules:

Pigsy: "Of COURSE you don't remember the kid—one day you are going to grow up to be a terrible mentor!" Sun Wukong: "Ha! Zhu Bajie, can you imagine me teaching someone? HA!"

-

So, Wukong clearly didn't ever want to become a mentor, and this directly contradicts what Wukong says to MK in "A Hero is Born":

Sun Wukong: "You're perfect!" MK: "Perfect for what?" Sun Wukong: "To be...my successor!"

Honestly, think about it: has Wukong ever once actually needed a successor? When given the opportunity, he goes off and tries to handle things on his own anyways (Leaving in s2, wanting to go and reforge the Samadhi Fire on his own, going to stop LBD alone). It's the classic "we're being told one thing and shown another" trick.

Sun Wukong: "No no no- in case you forgot I'M retired, you're the one supposed to be taking care of the bad guys." (1x01 Bad Weather)

Even in 2x01 he's lying:

Sun Wukong: "Aw, come on bud! I promised myself that when I found a successor I'd go see some friends, take a tour of my old stomping grounds, just cut loose you know?" (2x01 Sleep bug)

It's proven in the next episode, and by the fact that all of his friends are dead/gone, that literally nothing he said here is true.

And, it's also note worthy to point out, that by this point Wukong had already disappeared for hundreds of years. Why step in again at all? Why put the effort into getting a successor you definitely were never prepared to have?

MK: "*sigh* You think Monkey King ever felt like this? Maybe that's why he stayed up on this mountain, just having a good time with you guys. You know cause- cause he knew he'd be out of the way where he couldn't hurt anyone he cared about." Macaque: "Or, he was doing his usual Wukong thing and being a lazy peach eating idiot. Ignoring all the worlds problems.

(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)

-

So, I don't know about you, but I'm going to trust Macaque's insight on this. I'm not sure Wukong ever planned on coming back. Sealing DBK, he effectively cut off one of his last ties to the world (please go read wlw-wukong's thoughts, they are delightful), and he had already left the world alone for a long time. Why did he feel the need to train a successor now?

The simple answer is this: because he knew he needed to train MK and teach him to control his powers, and DBK's return was the perfect way to do it.

NOW. THE S4 MK VISIONS.

So, the visions MK see's all through out s4 (4x03, 4x04, 4x05, 4x06) are of Wukong ripping through the scroll and going to the stone—David Breen confirmed that himself in the above tweets.

Here's a list of what we see:

(4x03 The Great Tang Man)

-

(4x04 Pig Napped)

-

(4x05 Court of the Yellow Robbed Demon)

-

These are what I would say are the visions of Sun Wukong trying to find MK in the scroll. Yet, they are distinctly different from what Subodhi presses MK to remember ("Tell me of your childhood, your parents." "You do not remember?" "And what else?"):

(4x06 Show Me the Monster)

-

Look at that difference!

Every vision MK has includes the same scenes, except this one. That's why I think it's a memory; that and the way it's framed, with MK closing his eyes in focus. The other visions from 4x03, 4x04, and 4x05 all are unprompted, being forced upon MK. Why make this last "vision" so different from the others? Why show our mystery lady making the stone monkey? That would be because it's a memory—be it MK's, something from the scroll, or a mix of both.

There's also the matter of like, why Wukong going to the stone would trigger any sort of vision in MK to begin with. Overall, it just seems like there something more to those visions.

This would be how I imagine the general timeline playing out:

MK is created (through help of Sun Wukong), a beautiful baby boy pops out of the stone, and Sun Wukong "loses" that beautiful boy (if Wukong knew he was born to begin with) with MK finding his way to Pigsy's.

Then it's later Sun Wukong finds MK again, coming up with a plan to make MK his "successor" (still leaving MK with Pigsy, which I think was the right call lol). As Wukong says in 4x01, "You make ONE mistake, and no one ever let's you live it down! Looks like the ghosts of my past have finally caught up with me." That's what I think this parallel in particular is really trying to show off—in some way, MK is part of his past mistakes, just like Macaque is.

AND SO. I WILL CLOSE OFF THIS THEORY POST WITH EVERYTHING WE LEARNED IN THE SPECIAL.

Sun Wukong: "Heh, nothing gets under his skin more than a monkey. Leave Azure to MK and me."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Sun Wukong: "Kinda embarrassing for the Jade Emperor to have two little cheeky monkeys running circles around him the first day on the job." MK: "Well, one monkey and one unconfirmed, but *laughs* yeah! I'd be embarrassed for sure!"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Wukong sounds suspiciously confident that MK is a monkey.

Not even MK is sure what he is (which he's probably just in denial, but also "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is?" from 4x08 anyone?), but Sun Wukong is extremely certain about what MK is.

Sun Wukong: "We got this bud. Would have liked to give you some new training with your monkey form, but-" MK: "Oh yeah yeah yeah- uh um- about that— um. I- I was thinking, I've never really needed a scary new monkey form before, so, I just thought maybe I'd use it next time." Sun Wukong: "Next time? Kid, there might not be a next time! This is the time."

MK: "It's be fine! Mei and I have got this awesome new armor and everything! You know, when we look this good? Ain't nothing gonna beat us." Sun Wukong: "Kid. New armor isn't going to cut it! We have to hit Azure with everything we've got! You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!"

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

If the writers were trying to highlight the fact that Wukong didn't know, this scene would have gone very differently. Instead of "You can't just ignore this whole part of your power because it scares you!" I think it would have been more along the lines of "I know this is new for all of us, but you've got to accept this part of your power!".

Even this exchange at the end of the special raises some alarm bells for me:

Pigsy: "Heh, don't bother. I've been telling him that for years but he LITERALLY never listens." Sun Wukong: "Yep! That's how we roll."

(4x14 Better Than We Found It)

-

That's how "we" roll? As in him and MK, as two monkeys? Again, Wukong is surprisingly chill and okay with this new form for someone whose first interaction with it was supposedly this:

MK, writhing on the ground in pain, completely destroying the world around him, and unable to control his powers.

Sun Wukong: "Yeah! Go MK, go! Just try not to totally wreck up my stuff would ya-"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

Overall, it gives me the impression that Wukong already knew what MK was before 4x07. This new form didn't scare him because he always knew that's what MK was. MK, to Wukong, is MK! And MK has always been a Monkey Demon. He has unshakeable faith in his protege, and even while MK is absolutely tearing up the world around flower fruit mountain he can't help but cheer for him.

After all, Wukong knows MK is the only one who could defeat Azure:

MK: "Ne Zha's right—while Azure has the Jade Emperor's power and the scroll, there's NO way we could beat him head on!" Sun Wukong: "I mean, some of us could beat him! *ahem* One of us, specifically-" MK: "Nope! None of us at all."

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

"But Imp!" I hear you say, "Wukong was talking about himself here!". To which I would reply, that's not true! This scene is right after Wukong has already said he only almost beat the Jade Emperor:

Sun Wukong: "But don't worry—I almost beat the Jade Emperor single handed once! Between both of us, Azure doesn't stand a chance." (4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Between this and Wukong's pre-fight convo with MK ("We have to hit Azure with everything we've got!"), he's clearly banking on MK using the full extent of his powers to win this fight. Wukong isn't banking on his own—if he were, he would never have left MK to go and collect the scroll pieces during their fight with Azure.

Conclusion

Sun Wukong knew MK was a monkey the whole time, lol—and fate has plans for MK. Great plans, or foul? Time will tell.

And Wukong has done his best to ensure that those plans are great.

[loverofstufflof]

What do you do when an episode hits?

Make a lil guy!

Here’s my personal idea of Sun Wukong! The design is almost 100% subject to change as I dig up for details on his description and mess around with colours, but for now, monke.

Small thingies:

- His appearance is a loose mix between a rhesus macaque (which he is highly theorized to appear as) and a baby langur (because blorboification)

- I’m taking “Intelligent Stone Monkey” seriously here; he is a stoney boy

- He’s specifically a geode, meaning that being broken reveals rubies and gold underneath! (“What about those scenes that vividly describe his blood and organs?” Uhhh illusion magic/72 transformations next question)

- He is still a short kingtm

- The cloud-walking boots are fluffy because I say so

As said before, this is my personal interpretation of his appearance within the novel. If you have a different idea, that’s neat! I’d love to compare murderous fellas. Unless I’m genuinely portraying him harmfully, let’s all just have a good ole time :]

[lunamikobrony2]

Soooo, some crazy theory, or just a thought...

In this scene we see Nuwa make some animals - what if she was making the animals that will guard the stones?

Sure, she could've made the first four looong time ago, and if Wukong actually IS the fifth stone (the one that got dropped on FFM, gained energy from the earth and sky and formed into a stone monkey - all by accident)- then he doesn't need protection, he's strong by himself, right?

Then, she could've learned something about treason in the underworld and some conflict brewing...

Then, maybe she decided that a guardian for the fifth stone was finally necessary...and after many attempts and different versions of animals - she made MK

Why did I even think of this? Well, ever since MK's "apeshit" mode got unlocked - what sets it off the most?

Wukong being in danger.

Like here - EVERYONE got beat up and MK was fine, just few glitches here and there. But once Azure refused to let Wukong go?

BOOOM

Or during the finale fight - MK was so scared of being "apeshit", and EVERYONE was involved in this fight and was in danger - but once Azure almost hits Wukong?

BOOOOM

And sure, there were times when it activated without Wukong even being present - MK's first fight with ink curse, or the fight near JE's palace, even while just playing Macaque's game - but it never made him go for attack.

So maaaaybe there's something more than just him caring about his mentor, I'm sure Wukong is important to MK, but surely not THAT much more than anyone else

(P.S.: dunno, maybe you'll find it interesting @cherllyio )

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

[yo i sent this ask in a while back and you never responded. i am trying again to see if it just never hit inbox. i wrote the fic ask. unfortunately i don't have a full copy of the ask i sent in rip]

really like the ideas, unfortunately can't focus on writing it proper rn because life just hit me in the face but what i can do is come up with before and after artefacts

the goal? piss off the monkey duo with each artefact added[to encourage yandere endgame]:

before phoenix stone: reader and the monkeys would be more likely to cuddle for warmth, like how a monkey troop would i assume

after phoenix stone: less cuddles, there's always a fire and it's sometimes a bit too warm to have 2 monkey cubs on you. when the weather gets colder or if the fire “accidentally” goes out reader would probably be more willing for cuddles

before forest stone: reader had to patch up any monkey injuries by hand, and that means check-ups from time to time. lots of one-on-one attention that spirit really can't protest about without making herself look bad. reader cuddles the pain away? they could also fetch reader plants and flowers to help and impress reader. after all, she doesn't recognise most of these plants after all.

after forest stone: less follow-ups on injuries, because while it's slow i assume the healing is still done in one go for minor injuries. potentially less contact while healing? idk how the stone works. less cuddle the pain away and more cuddle the scare away i guess? reader can grow what she wants, and what is the difference aesthetic-wise between a flower in the wild and a flower grown by the stone? i assume stone-grown flower has fewer marks because wildlife don't have a chance to nibble on them or it to be damaged by the weather. reader would still appreciate gifts from them though, but will their pride let their gifts be outdone by a stone?

before shield amulet: reader holds them close and puts herself between threats while spirit deals with minor threats and i assume helps run from major threats

after shield amulet: separated by the shield! she's inside and they're stuck outside, or worse they're stuck inside and she is left vulnerable outside with only spirit to protect her! insert extreme rage when reader gets hit and the shield goes down

before the glamor mask: they get to look at reader all day and see her face and always see her smile

after glamour mask: why can't we find reader? why can't we see reader's lovely face?

i wrote an idea as well but i didn't keep a copy of it rip. it was something along the lines of reader making a flower crown using the plants they could grow using forest stone and giving the two cubs crowns, and jokingly calling them your highness, only for the two cubs to crown reader with their crowns or make their own crown for reader i don't remember.

at least i think it was? i don't remember anymore.

I have both of these asks. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to. Had a lot going on these past few days. And I thank you for your patience.

I decided for this ask I'll write a few short scenes. I hope you like them. Sorry this one took so long. I mean seriously it took me way too long to complete this.

It's ready! Sorry about the wait and all. For the second time!

Before the Phoenix Stone -

You wrapped your cloak around yourself as you tried to hold in as much warmth as possible. Underneath, you held both Peaches and Plums close to your chest. Luckily, neither of them seemed too cold as they soaked up and produced body heat.

Of course, you could hear their chirps as they poked their heads out of the fabric to look around. They didn't like not being able to see their surroundings, they had made that clear. However they also didn't want to leave the warmth of your cloak. At least that's what you though.

In reality, being warm was only part of the reason that they clung to you. The majority of the reason was because... they hated being away from you. Snuggling up to your chest after taking a look outside, they both purred.

Your heart gently thumping next to them. It was peaceful. A low hum leaving your lips as you tried to distract yourself from the cold.

"You alright?" Spirit asked, a worried look covering her face.

"Yeah... i-it's just c-cold," you respond, noting how Spirit didn't seem bothered at all by the weather.

"Here," Spirit said taking her cloak off and giving you another layer of warmth.

"W-What a-about y-you?" You asked, your eyes narrowing slightly.

Spirit waved you off with a grin, "I'm fine. My fur is thick this time of year. I'm more bothered by the heat than the cold."

'Good, then maybe you'll leave us alone when we take Reader home,' Wukong thought to himself as he glanced up out of your cloak again.

"T-thanks," you smiled before checking the two monkeys clinging to you who didn't mind the extra warmth.

"No problem," Spirit grinned before shooting a discreet glare at the small golden monkey.

Wukong for his part sent her a glare right back. Macaque decided not to participate in favor of pressing his ears against her chest to listen to her heartbeat. It was soothing and calming. Relaxing in her hold he didn't bother arguing with anyone. Spirit would be a fool to try to take them away from Reader, after all that would make her look really bad.

After The Phoenix Stone

*chrip* *chirp*

Plum chirped as he tried to jump into your arms, only for you to grip his scruff gently and set him back on your shoulder. Which caused him to let out a quiet hiss.

"It's too hot for that," you muttered as you sat away from the roaring fire.

After struggling to get it lite for over an hour you were finally able to get the stone to get warm enough to light a spark. However in doing so, because you didn’t know how to properly use it you also felt your wings grow out of your back. Which results in the extra heat that always emits from the large, red, orange and yellow wings. To you the heat was almost unbearable at times. On the bright side at least you weren’t freezing and you were all able to sit around the fire even if you weren’t able to escape the heat now.

“It’s too hot for anything. Can’t you get rid of the wings? I know that you need more heat than me but seriously,” Spirit asked, as she sprawled out on the ground panting as she sat as far away from the fire as she could. Without being to far to protect you in case of danger.

“Not sure how,” You muttered a flush appearing on your face. If it had just been the wings it wouldn’t be too bad, but the wings combined with the fire that you set was hot.

The Phoenix Stone was honestly a pain at times. You couldn’t activate it when it was too cold, you couldn’t make the wings go away even when it was cold. It made no sense!! You grumbled, before laying on the ground with a huff. Both of the monkeys jumped onto your stomach from your shoulders and laid down to cuddle. However as soon as they did you picked them up and set them beside you.

“It’s too hot,” You muttered.

A growl left both of the cubs. They walked up on all fours and tried to hop back up only to be set back on the ground. Peaches chirped angrily before sitting on the ground back to you in retaliation.

“Quite whining,” Spirit grumbled as she turned over trying to sleep.

Before The Forest Stone

*Chirp* *Chirp*

Plums chirped as he looked over Peaches who had a thin scratch across his arm. You were fretting over him worriedly, but weren’t absolutely loosing it because you knew it wasn’t deep. However the monkey was being overly dramatic, even Plums could tell if his eye roll had anything to say about it.

“Calm down. I know it’s not that bad,” You chuckle as you cuddled him to your chest. He let out dramatic chirps and continued to wiggle around in your lap.

Carefully, you took a long piece of fabric from your bag. The cloth wasn't exactly designed for bandaging any sort of wound, but you would make do with what you had. Besides, as you had thought before, the wound wasn't bad.

Wrapping it around his arm the Monkey looked at you with a wagging tail. Though his ears were pushed down as he attempted to look hurt.

"Is that better?" You asked with a smile.

The monkey in question then chirped and held his injured arm up. With a chuckle you gave it a few kisses. Nuzzling your face against his you grinned happily. He was so cute.

Suddenly you felt a slap on your head, a tiny slap but a slap non the less. Looking over you saw Plums pouting his six ears downcast as he looked up at you with practiced puppy eyes.

"Oh my sweety, there's enough kisses for you too," you laugh lifting up the Monkey to give him a few kisses on the face.

Which of course resulted in more chirps from Peaches. And more kisses for both of them.

After The Forest Stone

After the forest stone whenever you would patch them up. You would give them less after cuddles and they hated this.

As for the shield stone and glamour mask? Well those are actually for later and I don't want to spoil the surprise more than I have with my last post. ‘Anger’. Hehe 😏

Flower Crowns

“Lalala,” You were softly singing, something you didn’t normally do.

You hated singing in front of others but right now, you were happy to sing while the two cubs sat beside you as you wove flowers together. You had already completed one made of dandelions and was now working one made out of lavender. They weren’t very good but it was still quite fun to make them.

*Chirp?*

Looking down, Plums was looking up at you with a curious look on his face as you finished up the lavender crown. A wide smile covering your face.

“And done,” You said with a giddy smile.

That caught Peaches’ attention causing him to look over your shoulder. Setting both crowns on your lap you gently picked up Peaches and set him next to Plums. Which of course resulted in a small growl from the cub. You couldn’t help but laugh at the gesture.

“Here you go. Dandelions for Peaches and lavender for Plums,” You grinned as you gently set the crowns atop their heads.

Immediately the two looked at each other and then tried to look up at themselves to see the crown. You couldn’t help but laugh at the antics that they did. They were so cute!

"Two crowns for two little kings."

Their tails started wagging excitedly as they looked up at you with wide eyes. Peaches jumped into your lap and nuzzled against you. Yes he was a king weather little or his warlord form. He was the mightiest king.

Plums let out several chirps that only his companion understood. It only made Peaches nuzzle into you more. 'She says we're her kings once we return to normal... then we can make her our Queen.'

Yes what a splendid idea! They would make you their Queen. In fact why should they even have to wait? As Great Kings now all they needed to do was crown you. A crown of roses, you mentioned how you loved the pretty red roses.

But they didn't have any roses.... oh that'll work!

With a swift movement both monkeys jumped on your shoulders causing you to chuckle. Before a pout formed on your face when they removed their crowns. Did they not like them?

Oh... both crowns were set atop your head though they were too small for you. You couldn't help bit laugh at the gesture before they both leaned down. You couldn't help but give them each a little kiss on the cheek.

"I guess I'm the Queen then," you laugh. Unaware of the intentions of the two tiny warlords that sat on your shoulders.

"Hey Reader! You ready to go?" Spirit called out as she walked back up to you.

She held a bowl of water in her hand for you that you gratefully drank before following her lead.

Okay!! I think this time this will work right! I wrote the rest of it on my notes app!

Anyways I hope you enjoy, sorry it was shorter than I planned however it gave me a pain in the ass. So hope you enjoy!!

Send me opinions and asks all you want. Nothing is forbidden so throw it at me. 💗

[quitealotofsodapop]

When Tieshan told Macaque of the scarf, she knew what she was doing. She may not know much of Ancient Stone Monkey culture, but she had 500 years, a mountain full of lost stories and secrets regarding the clan, and quite the incentive to learn as much as she could. After all, it could literally be the difference between life and death for Wukong and his second try at parenthood. She wasn't going to risk sowmthing as simple as a lack of knowledge from stopping her...

So somewhere on that island she came across a depiction of Stone Monkey mourning rituals, including how some monkeys would choose to bury themselves beside their mates during the Stone Egg ritual, or lacking a proper resting place, with their mate's former items so that the dao of their mate would be absorbed by their Egg. A way for their mate to live on through their child, so to speak. This means she knows what it means for Wukong to have buried himself with Macaque's scarf and continue to wear it as a waist wrap even now. And she knows Macaque and Marshall Ma knows it, too.

Pigsy asks her how she knew mentioning the scarf would get Macaque out of his funk.

Pigsy: How the hell did you know that would work!?

Tieshan: Because despite not being raised by them, Macaque is still a Stone Monkey of the Lotus-Eared variant. In their culture, to bury oneself with something covered in their mate's dao is to wish for the cub to absorb the dao and have a piece ofntheir mate pass on to the cub, if not in blood, then in spirit. We can see in Xiaotian's coloration how Wukong and Macaque's dao had mixed together to create a child that looks like both parents.

Marshall Ma: Wukong would have known about this as well, the Elder whom led us before Wukong had taken the throne of the Stone Matriarch had raised him with as much knowledge about the Stone Monkeys as he could before he passed.

Xiwangmu, interested: Stone Matriarch? I have not heard of such a being.

Marshall Ma: 'Tis the title of Wukong's predecessor, the one whom Azure claims to be Lady Sonzi's reincarnation. We know her as the Stone Matriarch of Flower Fruit Mountain. She had led our predecessor tribe before the Floods. It is said she had left an egg bearing her Heir upon the Mountain, the very same one Wukong had hatched from. It is why we made him the Monkey King once he had discovered the ancestral palace behind the Water-Curtain Cave.

Prev.

Tieshan did spend about 500 years watching the island as it's vigil, and protector. She and the Stalwarts had many times come together for meals and chats. The topic of mourning rituals came up when she expressed a comparison to Wukong's state to that of a funeral burial. The Stalwarts were quick to show her the murals inside of Water Curtain Cave, relaying the stories Elder passed on to them from his time. How the Stone Monkeys not could form a vestal child from their own Dao, but from the Dao of lost spouses - given that they buried themselves at their side or with their belongings so that the couple had a chance to produce a shared child.

Tieshan recalls how her sworn-brother's favourite scarf was last seen in Wukong's arms...

The reveal that Macaque is Xiaotian's other parent (spiritually and genetically) is enough for him to shake out of his funk - not only did Wukong still love him after all that happened, but he made an effort to ensure that his second child would be born with Macaque's life energy!

I like to think that before they leave Flower Fruit Mountain; Xiwangmu and the Jade Emperor make a point of finding one of Shíhuā's shrines/statues and sitting down to just... talk. Both to each other and to their daughter (or whomever she became). They ask her if she was happy in that life. Mention how her son can be such a handful at times but they care for him still.

Guanyin witnesses this from a distance. Tears roll down their face as it hits how the two royals truly see them their kin. They weren't lying when they called Guanyin their daughter, and Wukong their grandson.

[serpentsillusion]

My random thoughts on the HL character boy's attributes. ✨💖

──✧❅✦❅✧───❅••❅───✧❅✦❅✧──

GARRETH: Plays baseball. Carries his keys on a lanyard in his pocket. Wears sunglasses on top of a hat. Doesn't go shopping, instead orders all his stuff off the brand websites. Drives a jeep Wrangler. Has a blue heeler naked Duke. Listens to bands like Black Label Society, Godsmack, Chevelle. Is an absolute gentleman to MC, but occasionally rips savage comebacks at them.

SEBASTIAN: Wears hoodies and basketball shorts with socks and slides. Always has his hands in his pockets. Definitely had a tinder at one point. Has been in handcuffs at one point. Smokes weed. Visits hole in the wall food joints and coffee shops. Drives a Mazda hatchback. Listens to Kings of Leon, Artic Monkey's, Billy Idol. Buys MC "sexy presents." Plays the PlayStation. Dances with MC in the kitchen.

OMINIS: Wears soft clothing and sweatpants most of the time when he's at home. Buys Craft coffee and Tea. Occasionally brings MC fancy gifts. Likes wearing expensive clothes when he takes MC out on a date to a fancy place. Enjoys a nice glass of brandy on occasion. Wears expensive colonge. If he could drive he'd own a black Bentley. Enjoys audio books. Listens to Angus & Julia Stone, Lofi, The Lumineers. Likes watching (listening to) Movies on the couch with MC.

LEANDER: Talks shit about Sebastian's clothes but buys the same thing in a different color. Likes going to music festivals. Loves Pie. Likes taking MC to the theater, but laughs and chews the popcorn with his mouth open. Hardly ever compliments the other boys. Likes English tea only and won't drink it sweet. Likes his coffee with foam. Likes beer on tap. Plays Rugby. Listens to Macklemore, Beatles, Linkin Park. Drives a Mustang. Likes going to popular restaurants.

AMIT: Wears polo's and Khaki's. Doesn't like crowds. Always hits MC with random scientific facts. Drinks black iced coffee. Likes EDM music. Listens to David Guetta, Yellow Claw, Akon. Takes MC over to his parents house frequently to eat dinner. Compliments MC everyday, even if they look like shit. Likes watching reaction videos on YouTube. Has a pet bird named Chidiya. Teaches MC how to make his cultural food. Drives a Kia Soul. Won't be "sexy" with MC until he's married.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Idk if you’ve been asked this before, but what are your thoughts on the Gaunt family? Do you think they interbred a little too close (like siblings together, aunts, and uncles to nieces and nephews) because they seemed to be the only Pureblooded family (that I can remember) that is canonically unattractive and inbred-looking? And when you look up the Gaunt family, it says, “Due to their habit of marrying their own cousins,” but like all Pureblood families have done that/do that, so why are they attractive and “normal" looking (or, were they even? I can’t remember). Why were the Gaunt’s different? Did it just happen to run in their genes specifically because I remember Marvolo Gaunt being described as looking like an “aged monkey” and then his ancestor(?), Salazar Slytherin, being described as also looking "monkeyish"?

I definitely think they inbred too close to the sun. And actually, we don't see many other pureblood families that are that closely related. Even the Black family, the "always pure", aren't super inbred. In the (more or less) canon family tree that has 7 generations back, the only in-family marriage is between Orion and Walburga Black (Sirius' parents) and they are second cousins who had no inbreeding in their bloodline at least 4 generations back.

I actually did some research about inbreeding and when it starts to become an actual risk to the offspring. From what I've read, even marrying first cousins wouldn't be that bad as long as it's not every generation. To calculate an inbreeding coefficient (basically how inbred someone is) you calculate according to how close the relatives were and then multiply it with every generation the inbreeding continues. The thing about inbreeding is that the moment you introduce new blood, the coefficient goes down to zero and you start the counter again. So as long as pureblood families keep the familial distance to, at least, second cousins and make sure to keep a breath of two generations between these marriages they could get away with looking pretty normal and not harming their genes too much. Like, there are no major health risks, even though their breeding pool is still relatively small and too similar which puts them at a general health risk, and squib risk, but that isn't exactly an inbreeding issue, more a lack of genetic diversity in a small closed-off community issue (I talked about this here).

But the Gaunts are a different story. As you mentioned, the Gaunts are described as ugly:

The man standing before them had thick hair so matted with dirt it could have been any color. Several of his teeth were missing. His eyes were small and dark and stared in opposite directions

-Morfin Gaunt (HBP, 201)

An elderly man had come hurrying out of the cottage, banging the door behind him so that the dead snake swung pathetically. This man was shorter than the first, and oddly proportioned; his shoulders were very broad and his arms overlong, which, with his bright brown eyes, short scrubby hair, and wrinkled face, gave him the look of a powerful, aged monkey.

-Marvolo Gaunt (HBP, 202)

a girl whose ragged gray dress was the exact color of the dirty stone wall behind her. She was standing beside a steaming pot on a grimy black stove, and was fiddling around with the shelf of squalid-looking pots and pans above it. Her hair was lank and dull and she had a plain, pale, rather heavy face. Her eyes, like her brother’s, stared in opposite directions. She looked a little cleaner than the two men, but Harry thought he had never seen a more defeated-looking person.

-Merope Gaunt (HBP, 204)

Magically very weak:

as Merope, who had already picked up the pot, flushed blotchily scarlet, lost her grip on the pot again, drew her wand shakily from her pocket, pointed it at the pot, and muttered a hasty, inaudible spell that caused the pot to shoot across the floor away from her, hit the opposite wall, and crack in two.

(HBP, 205)

And if we count Hogwarts Legacy, Ominis Gaunt was born blind, something that can be caused by inbreeding. I mentioned their magical weakness is also most likely the result of a lack of genetic diversity, something we actually see with two other wizards:

Crabbe and Goyle.

Both are also described as ugly, stupid, and magically weak. And, of course, pure blood. Basically, I think these two families have an inbreeding problem between cousins as well...

In general, not all Gaunts are as ugly as they are described. Isolt Sayre, who founded Illvermony and whose mother was a Gaunt is implied to look normal. So do her mother, Rionach Sayre (born Gaunt), and aunt Gormlaith Gaunt, who is a pure-blood maniac (and a general maniac) but isn't described as ugly in any way. Ominis Gaunt also looks completely normal in Hogwarts Legacy (though I'm not sure how canon I consider the game). This makes me think the inbreeding of the Gaunts is relatively recent. The fact that both Morfin and Merope are described with eyes looking in different directions but Marvolo doesn't again, suggests that Marvolo might have married a bit too close, even for pure-bloods.

I also checked the description of Salazar Slytherin:

It was ancient and monkeyish, with a long, thin beard that fell almost to the bottom of the wizard’s sweeping stone robes, where two enormous gray feet stood on the smooth Chamber floor.

(CoS, 284)

Which is quite similar to Marvolo's description. So, in the case of Marvolo's ugliness, it's likely just the genes he got that were intensified by some level of inbreeding, but not anything worse than Crabbe and Goyle; as in marriage between cousins too often in the last 4 generations, but not something closer or something that has always been the case (probably not considering they aren't all infertile squibs). It's why he is somewhat more reasonable, stable, and magically capable than his kids.

Basically, I think Marvolo had his kids with another Gaunt that was too close to him genetically, be it a sister or first cousin who happened to share both sets of grandparents and great-grandparents with Marvolo. Something like that would definitely cause a quick decline. I'm leaning towards sister.

If we take Hogwarts Legacy as canon, the Gaunts, in 1890 are still a respectable enough family to be associated with the Blacks (as Ominis mentions his father is closely acquainted with Phineas Nigellus Black). But by 1926, the Gaunts are living in a hovel, dressed in dirty rags and the Blacks would likely be offended by the notion of knowing them. Marvolo acts like he remembers how important they once were and raves about it, but Merope and Morfin don't seem to know a life other than the one they are living.

So, my headcanon is that they were inbred more than the Blacks by the time Marvolo was born. They married cousins every generation in the past 4 generations, unlike the Blacks who made sure to marry other pure-blood families as I mentioned above. The Gaunts, like the Blacks, probably married other pure-blood families until the last few generations, like with Rionach Sayre I mentioned. But by Marvolo, their genetic diversity was shit as is. Then Marvolo was the one who married too close even by pure-blood standards. I think he "married" (quotation marks because I don't think it's legal in the Wizarding World) his sister and had his two very inbred kids with her. I think this, for pure-blood society was too much and caused the Gaunts to be pushed into the fringes the way we see them. I mean, Marvolo raves as if he can remember the times his family mattered:

“Summons! Summons? Who do you think you are, summoning my son anywhere?” “I’m Head of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad,” said Ogden. “And you think we’re scum, do you?” screamed Gaunt, advancing on Ogden now, with a dirty yellow-nailed finger pointing at his chest. “Scum who’ll come running when the Ministry tells ’em to? Do you know who you’re talking to, you filthy little Mudblood, do you? [...] “So!” said Gaunt triumphantly, as though he had just proved a complicated point beyond all possible dispute. “Don’t you go talking to us as if we’re dirt on your shoes! Generations of purebloods, wizards all — more than you can say, I don’t doubt!”

(HBP, 207-208)

He expects to be treated with the respect he likely wouldn't have received if the Gaunts were already in their hovel when Marvolo was growing up.

Hope this answers your question! 😊

[nekohime19]

Mini Mac #14 : Shrinked Monkey King

Today Wukong visits Mac home inside of the wall and they wrestled together like cubs.

Sun Wukong was looking at one of Macaque's gates in wonder. He was in the living room, leaning on his wooden couch. Summer was in full swing, the sun burning brighter than ever, and while the weather wasn't as bad as it could be, it was still pretty hot. The sage looked back at Macaque, who was floating inside of a bowl filled with cool water, and wondered if he should voice his desire. The lil guy looked good, he was dressed in some leaves (at Wukong's request), letting himself float in the shallow wooden bowl, serene as ever.

“You're enjoying yourself?”Snorted Wukong, fondness melting in his tone.

“Yeah, best idea you ever had.” Mumbled Macaque, a smile blooming on his lips. Wukong cooed a bit when he heard a hint of a purr stumble out of Macaque's lips.

The sage hesitated a little before shrinking himself, he didn't do it that often, mainly because he was still trying to control this power and he couldn't stay shrinked for long. Once properly shrinked (his clothes shrinking with him) he climbed the table and leaned on Macaque's wooden bowl. The black-furred monkey opened one eye and glanced at him, his eyes widened when he caught sight of the shrinked sage.

“Hey.” Chuckled Wukong, snorting at the lil guy's bewildered expression. Macaque blinked a few times before jumping on his feet (splashing some water around) and walking over Wukong. The black-furred monkey smiled when he noticed he was slightly taller than the sage.

“I'm taller.” Mumbled Macaque with a proud expression, Wukong fondly rolled his eyes at this.

“Because I let you be taller.” Huffed Wukong. “I was wondering… maybe you could make me visit your home? In the walls, I mean.”

“You're curious?” Chuckled the black-furred monkey, Wukong averted his eyes, cheeks reddening.

“A bit.”

Macaque got out of his bowl of freshwater and ruffled his own hair. He reached out to Wukong, his hand making a gimmie motion. The sage huffed, amused and slightly frustrated to be ordered around, and created a towel with one of his hair to put it in his palm. The black-furred monkey took the towel and dried up his fur, he then put the towel on his shoulders and stretched. He looked like a walking urchin with his fur sticking in all directions, Wukong found it endearing.

“Alright then, let's go.” Chuckled Macaque as he put an arm over Wukong and affectionately ruffled his hair, relishing in the fact Wukong was now his size.

“Hey, hey, my perfect hair!” Whined the sage in-between chuckles. Macaque ignored his whining and dragged him to one of his gates.

Sun Wukong went through one of the gates with curiosity, the inside of the walls was rather dark, lightened by various cracks that draw serpents of lights on their path. It was also rather narrow, Wukong couldn't be beside Macaque and stretch himself without hitting one wall. The sage followed the lil guy as he walked with ease inside of the wall, probably already used to the darkness. Macaque began to walk on nails studded in the wall, using them like stairs, Wukong readily followed after him. Macaque's chamber was embedded in the wall, a little wooden box hidden in the stones, lightened by wavering serpents of light. Macaque proudly showed his front door (a square cut in the wooden box) and turned towards Wukong with a huffed chest. Sun Wukong tied his tail on his waist to stop it from wagging, the lil guy was truly adorable.

The sage curiously entered the wooden box. The floor was lined with soft tissue, the walls covered in plants and flowers, there were some cupboards carved in the wooden walls filled with cut pieces of fruits and different vials. A spoon was put in one corner, it was tall enough to almost reach the roof. Sun Wukong passed before the silverware and chuckled at his distorted figure, he made silly faces and giggled at his reflection.

“Having fun?” Chuckled Macaque as he leaned on Wukong.

“Yeah that's fun. So that's your lair?” He asked as he twirled on himself and went to look at everything, he smiled at the doodles carved on the walls and chirped excitedly at the sight of a bed, or at least something resembling a bed. It was a nest made of hay and flowers carefully weaved together. Macaque sat on the nest and patted his side, Wukong immediately jumped on it. It was bouncy and soft, moreover it was drenched in Macaque's scent.

“I have multiple lairs though, that's the one in the living room’s wall.”

“Really?” Chuckled Wukong as he buried his snout in the tissue covering the nest. Macaque chuckled at his behavior.

“How come you don't shrink more often?”

“I can't stay like this for long.” Replied Wukong as he turned towards Macaque.

“Mh, then I have to enjoy this while it lasts!” Chuckled Macaque as he pounced on Wukong and began to tickle him. The sage hurled in laughter, curling on himself.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha, w-wait ! Ha ha ha ha!” Wheezed Wukong as he was being assaulted by tickles. He tried to battle Macaque for a while, fighting against his hold on him. They stumbled in the bed, trying to pin the other down, chirps and trills escaping their lips. Macaque was usually not this playful, but seeing Wukong being his size was thrilling and he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. They tumbled like cubs, hollering in laughter.

Macaque stopped tickling the sage after a bit and collapsed beside him on the nest, breath heaving. He looked up at the ceiling with a smile.

“You're okay there?” Asked the black-furred monkey when he calmed down a bit. Wukong giggled, still filled with adrenaline, and turned towards Macaque with a beaming smile.

“I'm more than okay!”Chuckled the sage with flushed cheeks and a beating heart. His gaze was guided downward and he looked at the lil guy's tail, he shyly guided his own tail towards the black-furred limb. He nervously flicked his tail on top of Macaque's and waited for a little. When he saw that Macaque wasn't bothered, he slowly tried to intertwine the two limbs.

He beamed when he felt Macaque tail squeeze his own and intertwine a little tighter. When he turned towards the lil guy he saw him looking at the ceiling with red-dusted cheeks and chuckled.

They both stayed on the nest, tail intertwined, gaze lost on the ceiling with silly smiles on their lips.

+ cut scenes

SWK *after an hour of chatting and holding tails* : Oh shoot, my shrinking is fading! 😅

Macaque : Like, right now ? 😨

SWK *with limbs already getting bigger* : Yeaaah 🥲

Macaque : Wukong I swear if you destroy my lair I'm gonna hide all the peaches on the island! 😠

SWK : 😭

SWK *later that night* : We held tails! 🤭🥰

Macaque *later that night* : Ew, now my bed smell like him 😑

Also Macaque *Jump on his bed and roll around in it, enjoying Wukong's smell*: 😆

The wind : 👀

Ch1 / Previous / Next

[creepypastalover97]

Anybody feel like the film industry is missing out on a opportunity to turn this into a horror movie?:

Like don't get me wrong. I love sun wukong and all his little mischievous hijinks and shenanigans he gets into, and the whole "murder is the solution" mind set. Pre journey to the west mind you, btw.

But I have been thinking resently...

What if he never went on the journey to the west?

What if he was stuck longer than 500 years under that mountain?

What if he was stuck under that mountain up until modern day?

What if being stuck longer than originally and eating only copper pellets & molten iron, and being alone for so long with no one but himself and his thoughts to keep him company. Made him mentally insane and vengeful?

What if some unfortunate smuck accidentally found a random worn faded seal while hiking in the mountains and removed it. Unaware of the danger they unleashed on the world?

Now there is a murderous, revengeful, mentally unstable, monkey god with multiple levels of immortality and other abilities on the loose out for blood.

And don't tell me that this is a horrible idea for a horror movie!

It 100% is a great idea.

Over the decades we have had multiple adaptions of sun wukong. Him always being depicted as a hero or a mentor. Always the same narrative, with different looks or attitude.

Wouldn't it be interesting to see a alternate version of sun wukong who never went that route?

And don't get me started on the gore and horror levels!

Like we already know what real life monkeys and apes are capable of. (*Cough* Travis *cough*)

Imagine that with an immortal x5 stone monkey! ( x5 immortality bc he never went on the journey, so he doesn't have the other immortalities btw) armed with a 17,550 pound staff that can probably turn you into mush with one hit!. This is something you can't fight back against or actually kill!

Like that level of immortality is more terrifying than Michael and Jason combined!

And depending on what studio were to make it, we might get a very decent sun wukong design.

In a world with better technology, allowing studios to bring to life movies with apes like: "rise of planet of the apes" (2011), "dawn of planet of the apes" (2014), "war for planet of the apes" (2017), "nope" (2022), "kingdom of planet of the apes" (2024), and soon to be released this December, "better man" (2024) I think it's very possible to get a very scary and realistic sun wukong.

Anyway tell me what you guys think of this concept?

Does this sound like a good idea?

Or would you guys think this is a horrible idea.

I'd really like to know your thoughts on this.

[david-goldrock]

You voted for, so let me translate the entire poem

Let us talk about god About blind faith, and cold logic, and a lacking purpose A pale alternative to a pointless and alienated existence About the mantle and the lady and all that is familiar And the bitter truth of the thorn in the rose And the dangers of sugar and the cold reality Let us talk about god dsgnruwhurjehgtsbvalk

That is what I managed to write before the cat jumped on my keyboard Glanced at the words, glanced at me, glanced at the words And turned to lick its own ass

"Well, what's your opinion?" I asked it, for it is known cats do not tend to spare criticism If you wanna hear "Wow what a beautiful song" go and ask the dog For the truth, turn to a cat

Left the ass, glanced at me Glanced at the words, glanced at me His entirety is a Nietzsche's mustache The eyes of the abyss that looks back at you Uberkatze that will soon herald that god is dead (supercat, a reference to Nietzsche's "uberman") Opens his moth to talk, and thus spoke Zarathustra: "For someone who claims that god doesn't exist, you write about him a bunch, do you feel threatened?"

What? Threatened? From what? A flying spaghetti monster? No I just think that faith and god is a cool concept

It scoffs and responds: What do you fuck about? You dig (talk an excessive amount about something) And are an infidel And forces to confront And freeze in your place From the horror of the truth Because Darwinist monkeys Tried to trick To pile stones That cannot be lifted And cells from a fetus And a fossilized snail And big bangs And facts that most, as all Dwarven (become small, as dwarfs) On the banks of the everyday Of 7 billion Yearning souls From the heart of each land To the shore of each sea Go and tell all these That god doesn't exist

And then it hit me: The religification has come to me in my home! Because of course, a cat that once in Ancient Egypt was a god Now that were back to writing in emoji hieroglyphs, and the cat-worshiping gets a rejuvenation on all the walls of the internet Of course the cat will stand up to the side of the messianics, the darkened, the preachers and return-in-answerers (to return in an answer is a jewish idea, which I am unqualified to explain, but in this context it means to become religious) Well - Not in my house I won't be silent and I won't accept Religious compulsion from the mouth of a creature that licks its own ass

And it tells me: From the perspective of a cat Things are a bit different There is no Damocles' sword of time that is ticking Death approaches The end of the movie And in the meantime, we eat, and fuck Without doubting The world, ourselves By Allah Ya Allah You digged With all that messing around with "purpose" We start, we decay There's no one above No stairway to heaven Hell has no elevator

Well, exactly, so why search for imagined meaning? Why not settle for what there is - We were born for a short existence, kitty Let us fulfill it instead of casting the responsibility on some kind of creator There are better things to live by

Like what exactly?

Yes The tree is but a tree And the sea is but a sea But has anyone ever Seen democracy? Touched an ideology (In order to get the feeling of its texture) Or grasped an idea? Just today I hunted justice And I held a vision I hadn't met a cat That had counted its steps By a measure of morality Or a written contract Ironically you with the brain You don't have smarts Just the mercy of words That will build you a dam To stop the nothingness And to act as a reminder But the nothingness is winning I am sorry to herald And yet there's no shame in filling that which is empty Even you -

Me? I am a nihilist anyway, I don't believe in anything

Even you Rise very morning to work For money, a feeling of recognition and honor Maybe money exists if people live for it? If people are held by it? If people are worth because of it? If people fight, vouch for each other, sacrifice for it? If there's money, then there is god, why not? Nations and peoples and states ignite Flames in tens of thousands of hearts As far as I am concerned if all of them exist than god does too

Let us ask the audience, we'll do a survey here Who's more real, god, or Brad Pitt? Sorry for shoveling messages down your throats But no one ever died for Brad, the poor guy Certainly hadn't lived for him What is true: You You examine in a magnifying glass A view that's seen by a telescope Fight for flags And scoff at a horoscope If faith is a perspective Then the world's a kaleidoscope If life is a raging sea Then god is a periscope One can see with him high up And all looks clear If you hadn't begun to sink by now For this pitcher is hollow Take the word of a cat Every time over You kill god To crown under him A different hollow pitcher

You wanna talk about god? Let us talk about love Where is this love that you talk about? That you sing it?, that you write it? That you live it, you experience it You die for it, you kill for it Where is the evidence to prove the existence of this love? This catalyst, this causer The motive, the engine of life The battery of the existence, the fuel of the soul Where is this love? If there is no god, what about your love? If there is no god, what about love? If there is no god, what about love? If there is no god, what about love?

Its mustache bristles, and his eyes are boiling fire He finished And returned to lick its ass

I should have asked the dog

[jiecomic]

Chapter 7- The Fox and the Spider

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It was a perfect day for shopping.

Jie was walking around stands with vegetables for sale, looking for ingredients for dinner. She was a little nervous because of what Wukong said to her the day before.

"Do some for me and my monkeys too!" He announced when she told him about her dish

Jie only wanted him to give her a day off to buy some groceries! Not to make her his chef! As if cleaning his whole cave and bathing his monkeys wasn't tiring enough!

And also the fact that Wukong won't be easy to feed... he doesn't eat meat, milk and just started eating cocked food...

Jie sighed loudly and just continued shopping.

At one moment her ears catch a woman's loud laugh.

" My, my my...- you boys are making quite a scene..."

Jie looked at the side and was pleasant to see no one else but the Spider Queen herself.

Thought time was merciful to her judging by her appearance, Jie couldn't at first recognise her. The last time they met was when Spider Queen was a frightening ruler of the spider demons. Thought Jie haven't heard a word about her since the collapse of her kingdom. There was some rumours about her being in the city but so far she ignored it, it's not like they were close or anything, they just acknowledge each other as the rulers of different demons race (By the way Jie was a Demon Fox Queen).

Back to what was happening, Jie saw someone who also was familiar to her, the monk and the pig, friends of Monkey Boy.

For a second she was looking with disgust at Spider Queen flirting with Pigsy, then she remembered that she was doing these things herself a long time ago which made her even more uncomfortable.

Yeah... a dark past...

So... as Jie was watching Spider Queen luring Pigsy into her lair she hoped that Tang, who had warned Pigsy from those tricks a few days ago, would stop his friend.

And he tried!

But failed.

When they were gone Jie came closer to the stand, she flinched because of the strong smell of rotten vegetables.

With her nose covered by one hand she investigated the place, she saw the trap on the floor and thought for a while.

'I'm sure they will be alright... it's not like she's gonna eat them... okay maybe she will'

And at this moment Jie made one conclusion...

No Pigsy equal no noodles!

So she transformed into a fox and teleported as close to the kidnapped men as possible.

„You know Pigsy... I've got a feeling that telling her about our relationship with MK was a bad idea..." said Tang stuck in the web

Since Pigsy's mouth was cowered by web his answer was silence and an obvious roll of the eyes.

"Oh don't give me that look! It was your fault in the first place!"

"Sugar, can't you scream in agony a little more quietly?- thank you" Spider Queen stated calmly still looking into her kettle

" Just you wait and see... MK WILL BEAT YOU UP and-and... WELL HE WILL SQUISH YOU LIKE A BUG!"

"Excuse me?- honey, I'm a spider not some bug" she pointed out a little touched by such a conclusion of the monk

" I DON'T SEE A DIFFERENCE...."

That hit hard.

In a moment one of demoness's spider leg was pointed into Tang's throat, who gulped as an answer.

" Did you forget that I'm the Queen? And no queen allows others to call her like that..." she grunted while peeling her legs into the stone wall with such a strength that it made a terrifying sound

Both men were looking at her in terror.

And then...

"HEY! YOUR HIGHNESS!" A young voice came from behind "let them go"

"MK!" Tang shouted with a little tear in his eyes

Pigsy chopped off the web on his mouth to speak "KID!- be careful!"

"Don't worry Pigsy" stated MK flipping his staff in the air to make a fight pose after that "I've got this!"

"Well...well..well..." Spider Queen chuckled while getting closer to MK " If it isn't The Monkey Kid I heard so much about?"

" You bet!- now free my friends" he pointed the end of his staff before her face "Or I'm gonna show you the power of Monkey King's successor!"

" Wow... MK!" Tang gasped from admiration

" Ha! Think a stick can stop me?" Spider Queen added with almost not noticing doubt "I'm the Queen!- while you're just some kid"

" I don't think I can stop you... I know that" with that MK was starting to be covered by a mystic yellow light, the amount of energy leaking from the boy's body made Spider Queen hesitated and a little scared.

The tension between them grew more as they looked into each other's eyes, the moment in which one of them will make a move is going to show who's more confident of winning.

But at the moment when MK's stuff had moved just an inch a loud explosion was heard behind them.

Spider Queen, MK, Tang and Pigsy looked at a hole in the wall to see Mei, Sandy and... MK?!

"HEY- you... scary Spider!- FREE OUR-...friends" the second MK just realised the situation they were in

" Two MK'es?" Sandy and Mei shouted at the same time, but were ignored

Monkey Kid and Spider Queen stared for a moment at 'MK' who was standing between them.

MK was shocked to see an ideal copy of himself that wasn't his clone, well... it would be a perfect copy if there wasn't a pair of big, fluffy ears on his head and a strange red marks on his face.

Knowing that she was already recognised, Jie turned back to her true form

" Ha ha... surprise..?" She smiled nervously while glancing at the Spider Queen

Unexpectedly the spider demoness started laughing. When she finally stopped to look at MK and Jie staring at her with pale faces she smirked evilly and jumped to the surface.

In a moment the strings of web had wrapped around Mei and Sandy trapping them next to Tang and Pigsy.

" Well that was an interesting performance..." a chuckle escaped from Spider Queen's mouth

MK looked around to see his opponent-he should've already learn to start from looking behind him...

He jumped all the way to Jie when Spider Queen scared him to death.

" What? Scared of spiders?" She teased him

" MK!" Screamed Pigsy

The boy looked at Jie who was just next to him not taking her gaze off of the enemy even for a second.

" Miss Jie?" MK whispered to her with a shaking voice "w-what are we gonna do now...?"

Jie glanced back at him and stood straight with a serious look on her face.

" Now...WE RUN!!!"

So they run away as fast as their legs let them.

Same the Spider Queen, but she had four pairs of legs so she had it easier.

When MK's friends were left alone all forgotten they were dying out of worry.

"Ha ha ha!" Suddenly Sandy started to laugh out loud

" Oh Sandy, mind telling us...What's so funny about being trapped in the web of a human eating demoness?!" Pigsy asked him furiously, but Sandy kept smiling

" S-sorry Pigsy, but IT TICKLES SO MUCH!" Sandy spoke with tears in his eyes

Only now the group saw a big fluffy tail hanging from above, which was touching Sandy's back, probably tickling him in the process.

The moment later a dark fox jumped on his head and looked at the friends with their red eyes.

" Sorry for that"

Everyone were stunned seeing as this fox actually talked!

" Wait... I know this fox... MS. JIE!" Mei shouted in surprise looking all cheerful despite still being stuck in the web

Jie jumped on the ground, just before touching it she turned into her human form and glanced back at the group.

" Wait... How many MK'es and Jies do we have here?!" Tang asked in confusion

" Ah... that was just an illusion to distract the Spider Queen, there's no way I would actually risk my life for a bunch of idiots" she muttered the second part, though Tang and Pigsy heard it very clear.

Jie took a few steps and picked the dragon blade, which Mei had dropped before. She was surprised by the weight of this sword, in the hands of Mei it looked so lightly, but that needs to be the whole dragon thing she didn't want to dig into.

"What are you- DOING?!" Tang screamed as the blade, thrown by Jie, cut the web that was imprisoning them and physically made them fall, still they were somehow able to land perfectly and with the dramatic poses

Ignoring their special moment Jie freed the rest of the group.

" Alright!NOW LETS GO HELP MK-

" Wait a minute" Mei interrupted Tang before he run to the boy for the rescue "We need to get Sandy's vehicle first!"

" But what about MK? With his fear of spiders, he might not be able to fight for too long..."" added Sandy

Jie, who was quiet till now suddenly sweated because of all those gazes on her.

" Ugh... fine..." she sighed feeling a headache growing in her forehead

Why she always needs to bump into such a situations?!

" Ms. Jie!" MK shouted when they finally stopped running "What are we going to do?!"

" Listen Monkey Boy, Hold still till I get to you, ok?" Jie answered while looking him into the eyes

Before MK could understand what she meant the fox demoness was kicked by one of Spider Queen's leg.

As she landed on the ground she disappeared.

" GAH!!!- JIE!!!" MK screamed holding his head " YOU HAVE REDUCED HER TO THE ATOMS!!!" He shouted toward the Spider Queen

The demoness looked at him in disbelief.

'Is he that stupid?'

" I didn't. It was just an illu-" before she explained MK charged at her with his stuff

" MS. JIE I WILL AVENGE YOU!" He stated while pointing his fist into the air

With this motivation MK was able to fight his biggest fear! And he was doing very well till he  landed into the corner full of little spiders looking at him from their webs. Poor guy, it was too much for him to handle.

Spider Queen used this situation and pulled MK into the big web, MK was stuck.

The demoness chuckled evilly and pulled some of MK's hair out of his head

" Finally!- Now when I got you and the power of the great sage I can bring back my kingdom!" She exclaimed "Thank you"

"You're welcome!"

Before Spider Queen could turn around she was hit by a ball of energy with made her a little unconscious.

Both her and MK looked with a shock on their faces at Jie in her true demon form.

" JIE!" MK whimpered loudly with a teary eyes " You're alive!"

" YOU AGAIN?" Spider Queen wasn't as happy as the boy "You start really getting on my nerves, fox"

"I can say the same about you" Jie spoke slowly while processing to create the next energy ball above her hand " Let's finish what we started...No tricks and illusion, just you and me"

" I feel like I'm going to have a nice fox coat..." Spider Queen chuckled as she stood before Jie

They were standing just like before, glaring at each other, ready to jump into each other's throats. MK watched them and felt the dangerous atmosphere, everything was quiet, the only noise was a sound of dripping water.

After a while one of them made a move, it was the Spider Queen who charged toward Jie in the high speed, but Jie didn't make any move till her opponent was just about to attack, then she jumped into the air and shouted "NOW MEI!"

Everyone turned to the side and saw MK's friends sitting in the vehicle.

"LETS GO MO!" Mei clicked some button which activated the big weapon, controlled by no one else but Mo himself.

A sudden rain of bullets was pointed toward the Spider Queen who tried to escape from shots. Jie on the other hand, after jumping over her enemy flew into the web MK was stuck in and pointed her energy ball into it. After a second the web was laying on the ground all melted and MK was save.

" Told you I'll come to- WOAH!" Jie was stunned when she felt MK hugging her. Like, this hug was different than all the others when he would hold her legs, now Jie couldn't move at all!- or just felt as if she couldn't

" Waaaah!" MK whimpered into her dress "I tough you were dead!"

Normally MK would be pushed away by now... but strangely Jie couldn't even budge. Her head was filled with memories, warm memories just like the feeling she felt right now, without realising it... Jie's hand moved on it own towards the boy's head, when she was about to pat his head she came back to her senses.

" Y-yeah... can we talk about it outside?" She muttered to the boy trying to gently push him away

" OH RIGHT!" MK started running toward his friends, the shots had already stopped

He was so happy to finally leave this place that he almost forgot about one important thing..."WAIT!- MONKEY KING'S STUFF!" He came back and tried to pull out the weapon which was stuck in the web "Come on!"

" MK HURRY UP!" Mei shouted

" I'm trying, OK?!"

Suddenly Jie heard a footsteps behind them, it was Spider Queen who was running towards MK.

' Oh no you don't '

Jie kicked her from the back to hold her for a while so that MK could escape.

Finally he was able to get his stuff back.

" JIE!" He called for demoness who was in the middle of the fight

" Go to your friends and run out of here, I'll hold her" Jie spoke while dodging Spider Queen's attacks

" B-but!"

"..." Jie looked at him for a while, what the hell was wrong with this boy? Worried about demons he should fight, for what? " I... I'll be alright, don't worry"

MK nodded his head, while Jie lowered her guard and was almost stabbed by one of Spider Queen's legs, thankfully she was able to block it with her hands " HURRY UP" she growled towards MK.

The boy hurried up and was save with his friends in a moment after they drive away.

Without realisation Jie let out a long sigh.

Then she jumped away from Spider Queen, who was really annoyed.

" Who do you think you are?! Don't stand in my way!" She yelled at Jie while waving her hands in frustration "I've been waiting for  this moment for thousand years and I will not let some little fox destroy my effort!"

Jie didn't react to her words at all, for Spider Queen it looked as if her mind was at a different place.

" Hey! Don't you dare igno-

" You really don't remember who I am?"

She stopped looking all confused at the fox demoness, who now was piercing her soul with her bright, red eyes.

"Well I guess I can't blame you... I am nothing like my old pathetic self" Jie whispered loudly enough to be heard by her opponent " But it still hurts... You know- not being recognised by someone who you respected in the past"

"Hey...are you sure you want it?" Jie wasn't done talking, her words became more and more filled with emotions she was trying to hold back "Your kingdom is gone Spider Queen, why wasting your life chasing after memories?"

Spider Queen was slowly getting frustrated.

" Who exactly are you?" She asked

Before her question reached Jie's ears the fox demoness's body started to turn into pink dust, but still she looked at the Spider Queen and opened her mouth.

" I'm Jie, the servant of Monkey King"

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[nishayuro]

thank you for doing my mentor Stanley request and I loved that you did it platonically. Idk if you’re still doing Stanley asks but can do Stanley being best friends with reader?

Dr.Stone Being Stanley Snyder’s Best Friend

A/N: I’m glad you loved it! And yes, feel free to send in more requests, even if its other characters~ Also, the amount of searches I made to get information for this. I went ham with this request T.T

Genre: Fluff

GN! Reader

You can read this as platonic or romantic, but the main point is you're each other's best friend.

Pre-Stone world

Childhood friends!! You both met at the playground, probably competing with each other on who can hold onto the monkey bars longer. 

It was friendship at first sight. He loved your energy and you loved his. 

You’re physically active like Stanley, so he’ll invite you to play different sports, which you two will eventually get really good at and then move onto the next sport. 

One time you were both deciding what to do for the day, and you both said the same answer at the same time. He declared you as his best friend then and there. 

Will introduce you to Xeno, and you three will become a trio. Being friends with Xeno means that you can join in on their experiments, which means that Stanley doesn’t have to spend half his time with each of you individually. 

In high school, Stanley joined the football club, Xeno joined the science club and you joined the karate club. 

Despite your different club activities, Xeno will always stay the most late, so you both go to the science club room to pick him up and drag him home.

When Stanley revealed his growing interest in marksmanship, you decided to come with him to the shooting range. 

Each time you come with him, you develop a love for the sport as well. 

Now both you and Stanley train with each other, sometimes going to a paintball ground just to train more.

When Stanley revealed to you and Xeno that he was thinking of enlisting, you also revealed that you’ve been thinking of it too. 

Xeno said you both shared the same brain cell when it came to stuff like that, and that although he will be sad to see his two best friends leave for long, he supports your decisions. 

So when the opportunity came, you and Stanley took it, and enlisted. 

You both entered boot camp together and went through the training, and whenever you can, you both meet up and catch up with each other before another rigorous training happens. 

You both also send letters to Xeno to keep him up to date, and he sends you both letters to keep you both updated as well.

You both excelled in the marksmanship training obviously, and you also excelled in hand to hand combat. 

When you and Stanley eventually got into the actual military work, you were both assigned in the same unit. 

And as time passed, you both climbed up the ranks, and you became his second in command.

He knows you can handle yourself, but in field ops when your unit is deployed, he’s protective of you. Although only subtle.

There was one time where a mission got so dangerous you almost got killed and only narrowly escaped death, I kid you not, you have never seen Stanley more afraid in your whole life. 

After that, he’s become slightly more protective. 

When your elite unit was called last minute to attend the DARPA expo, you had your small reunion with Xeno. 

“Doesn’t explain why our elite unit got a last-minute invite. Something smells fishy, and we’re a long way from the ocean.” Stanley said, looking at Xeno. “Maybe it's the sushi they’re serving at the food stall” you joked, earning a chuckle from him. “It concerns this. Terrorism via unknown weapon…or an attack by a foreign power” Xeno stated. He went on and on about the sciency stuff of it, bringing back a nostalgic feeling of when you three hung out to do experiments. 

“So… things hit by this new weapon…stand a chance of surviving…” Stanley started. “If they force themselves to stay awake?” you continued. As soon as you said that, an eerie feeling shot up your spine. The same feeling you feel on the battlefield. You look towards Stanley who you figured also felt the same feeling. 

“TAKE COVER! GET BEHIND SOMETHING!” Stanley ordered, pushing you and Xeno down in a defensive position. “THERE’S PROBABLY NO DODGING THE PETRIFYING LIGHT, BUT…THE REAL BATTLE BEGINS AFTERWARD!” he shouted. “DON’T LET YOUR MINDS FADE!” you shout, adding to his instructions. 

A green light engulfed your surroundings, and a feeling of paralysis hugged your person. The last thing you saw was Stanley looking towards you with a determined look. You’ve been through hell and back together. You’re not about to give up now. 

Post-Petrification

You occupied your mind with anything, from recalling songs, movies, books, to even reminiscing on your childhood with Stanley and Xeno and your days in battle along with your best friend. Anything to keep your consciousness from fading. 

You think about Stanley, you’re sure he’ll survive this. He’s had intense focus training as a sniper, and you yourself know just how strong his mental resilience is. 

And when you feel the stone crack, and you see light for you don’t know how long. The first face you see is your best friend’s

You both helped Xeno build his colony, with him employing you both as his military’s commander and executive. 

A good chunk of your unit was freed from the stone, so you both got into training again. After all, 3,700 years of inactivity takes a toll on one's body. 

And when the kingdom of science arrived, you both were deployed, with you piloting the plane and Stanley with the machine gun. 

“H-helloooo. Is anyone there?” a voice called out, Stanley got into shooting position and you in defensive position. “Whoa! Who are you?! I totally didn’t realise anyone was up there!” the man said. You jumped down from your position after seeing him non hostile towards you both and pat him down. After a short back and forth between him and Stanley. He was escorted towards your base to meet Xeno. 

When Xeno gave the mission to assassinate the enemy’s science leader, Gen, the newcomer asked, “Great idea, brilliant-bay, truly… B-but can you pull it off?!” You and Stanley looked at each other briefly, and then looked towards him. “We can.” you both said in sync. Gen sweats, “How exactly?!” he asked again. “We can.” you both answered again. A more fierce look in your eyes. 

“Mr. Gen! When Stan and N/N claim that they can get the job done, There’s no need to question it!” Xeno says, threatening the magician. “Because they can” he ends, with you and Stanley getting ready. “Get Luna, we’ll need her for this.” Stanley orders, I nod and get Luna to come with us, along with her lackeys. 

As we walked towards the sniping location, Luna asked if we can trust Gen. “A person who trusts a person that just double crossed his team needs an appointment with a head doctor.” Stanley claims, “That’s just basic knowledge, Luna. Never trust anyone easily.” You added. Causing the girl to go on a spiel about her capabilities. 

As Max and Carlos catch up, carrying the water bottles, Stanley orders Luna to not carry a thing, because her role is important. You all set up your gear, you hand Stanley a weather vane made by Xeno. Luna’s lackeys start asking questions, to which Stan answers that it affects the bullet’s velocity. 

“I’ll snipe the enemy science leader… with a rifle made by Xeno’s science.��� Stanley declared, getting into position. Luna starts doubting the plan, asking if you’re about to kill them. “Just their science leader” you answered, scouting the area more using binoculars. “Isn’t that kind of awful?” She asks, to which both you and Stanley sent her a harsh glare. “Just kidding! Just making sure those two wimps don’t try to chicken out of this! That’s part of my job!” She exclaims in a panic, to which you chuckled at. 

You tell Luna her role, about being Stanley’s yardstick and help her get into place and out towards their boat while you wait for her to signal where Dr.Taiju is. “Of course miss Luna snuck in no problem! The bad guys are probably head over heels for her!” Carlos exclaims, “Curse Stanley for exposing Miss Luna to danger like this!” Max adds, “Would you two shut it? Any more loud noise could give away our location!” you whisper-shouted, which made the two silent. 

“Heh, reminds me of old times” Stanley said, eyes still focused on his scope. “Tell me about it, it’s kinda nostalgic in a dark way.” you replied. Your role was to scout out the other members of the enemy team to see what their abilities could be, as well as weapons or assets they might have if ever a battle ensues. You also have great lip reading skills, so you’re also trying to “eavesdrop” on their conversation.  

You saw a few of the warriors on deck, taking note of them in case you’re forced into close quarter combat. You also deducted who the captain of the ship is, which is valuable information for later. “They’ve got a lot of warriors, hmm?” you muttered, to which Stanley responded, “We might have to face close quarter combat when we take over their ship. Be careful, they seem to know their weapons well.”

“I have experience with disarming spear type weapons, the karate club loved playing around with sticks when in our downtime. Also, these gears Xeno made us are no joke. I had Jack go up against me in knife combat and not even a graze hit me.” you replied, earning a chuckle. 

“I wonder how long we’ll be here…? Carlos asked. “For as long as it takes for Luna to do her job.” you answer, scaring the two. “Which one is he? Which one is Dr.Taiju…? The junior science genius?” Stanley mutters, You move your sight towards Luna, who looked like she was analysing the crowd, and then suddenly looked flustered. “What is up with that girl…” you mumbled. Still observing her movements and interactions. “Why does she look so shocked about everything, what the heck?” you added. 

You noticed she went inside the ship, the waiting game continues until night. Max and Carlos fell asleep down below, which leaves just you and Stanley doing reconnaissance. “As much as i’m used to waiting hours on end for the perfect shot, she could be faster than this.” Stanley states, “You’re telling me. They’re having ice cream right now. This girl is just enjoying her time.” you sneer. “Think they’re tryna bribe her for info?” he asked. “Most definitely. I don’t think she’ll say that a gun is aimed towards them right now though, or else she won’t be this ‘smooth operator’ girl she claims” you laugh. “And members wouldn’t be on and off deck if they knew, gotta give props to her for not spoiling the plan,” he adds. 

“Can you tell what they’re talking about?” He asks after a while. “Nope, can’t see their mouths” you answer. “Bummer,” he replied. You observed Luna a bit more, and then the others who were out on deck. ‘Something feels off…’ you thought. Luna then starts walking towards the group, a little hesitant. You see her pointer finger up, you and Stan wait for her to point somewhere, however, she just stuck both fingers up her nostrils. “What the fuck is wrong with her?” you muttered, with Stanley letting out his own irritated sounds. 

You noticed she faced your direction, adjusting your binoculars to get a better read when you see her mouth words. “Po-ssi-ble… friend… of… Xe-no’s… Guy… named… Sen-ku… Seeen-kuu…” you relay to both Stanley and Xeno using your comms. “Scout the others, i’ll focus on Luna” Stan says, to which you respond with an okay and they look around. You notice the captain looking around, and then at your direction, to which your eyes widen. 

“Captain’s eyeing our location.” you say, “okay… looks like you’re Dr.Taiju!” Stanley says, about to shoot before Xeno shouts through comms to not shoot, explaining that Taiju was a decoy, and then revealing that the real target was the guy named Senku. Xeno then starts to describe the target, to which you scout. “Three people fit, one left, two right.” you say. 

“A sniper! We’ve got a Sniper!” the captain’s yell was heard even at your location. Causing you and Stanley to be on alert. You saw Luna look this way. “Hello, Senku Ishigami.” Stanley says, you see the guy duck below the railings to hide. “But that actually tells me right where you are.” he mumbles. “Xeno, last chance, so I gotta ask… you sure you want him dead?” Stanley asks, a few seconds pass, before Xeno gives a ‘yes’, and then Stanley shoots. 

Stanley jumps down, you wait a while and see the team hovering around someone, and you see Senku’s mouth bloody. “Job’s done.” Stanley said, "You jump down as well, “The enemy science leader is dead.” you continued. 

You two hang back to keep watch.” Stanley orders. “But what about Miss Luna?!” the two exclaimed. “Leave her, help her, your choice. Not my problem” Stanley answers, grabbing the equipment from you and walking away. “She seemed to be enjoying life on their ship, hehe, although I don’t know how that’ll fair once they realise she’s a spy.” You added. 

You and Stanley walk back towards the base, leaving the two alone. “Gotta say, it’s been a while since we got deployed like that.” Stanley says, removing the head gear of his armour. “Right? Kinda missed doing recon with you. My last recon back in the old world was unbearable. The sniper kept flirting with me the whole time even after I told him to shut up.” You complained. “Oh yeah, you told me about that, heh. I gave the guy extra duty and a hard time at training after that stunt.” He revealed. “Hah! Serves him right!” You exclaimed. 

Your bond with your best friend might be weird, or unconventional to some. But this was how you both grew up. Be it playing on the monkey bars in the park, or staying still for hours on end to get the perfect shot, you loved every second of your friendship. And even in this new age, even in Xeno’s rule, you know you both would never exchange each other for anything. You’ll both help Xeno reach his dream, because he’s helped you two reach yours. 

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[supercalifragipopculturevomit]

A Visit To The Last DVD Store While packing for a trip to Auckland, I saw that one of the latest episodes of Conan Needs a Friend podcast was with a caller working in ‘The Last DVD Store’.

The aforementioned store is Alice in Videoland and it's based in Christchurch, where I was staying with relatives for a month. So I HAD TO give it a listen and, eventually, a visit. Luckily, I had friends in town who were down to accompany me on this admittedly geeky excursion.

Didn’t meet the caller, James, but we did get to talk to one of his co-workers who told us that we—at least to his knowledge—are the first people to visit the store because of the podcast. He also had interesting news to share…

Conan recently dropped by himself as part of his HBO travel show, Conan Must Go. That’s James with him on a framed photo that sits proudly on the store’s wall. It’s for the second season, which hasn’t aired yet—so I guess that’s a spoiler?

Team Coco connection aside, as a film geek who grew up in the era of video rentals, but had no access to a shop with a selection this massive, I was truly in a wonderland. I could have spent my entire day there.

I mean, this is just a small section of the store but it already offers an array of standout films: The Holdovers, Anatomy of a Fall, Perfect Days, Civil War, Barbie, Past Lives, Furiosa, Challengers, Pearl, May December, Decision to Leave, Tár, Monkey Man, Dune, Monster, and The Banshees of Inisherin.

The international section was also impressive. Scanned it for Daniel Brühl films and was not disappointed.

It also has an accompanying theatre. I didn't get to watch a movie there, but I did catch the 70th anniversary screening of Seven Samurai in Lumière Cinema. I've been meaning to check out the works of Akira Kurosawa for a while now and to also watch a movie in a boutique cinema so I figured - why not hit two birds with one stone? Never mind that it was 3.5 hour black and white Japanese movie from the 1950s and that I woke up at an ungodly hour that day to catch a 6AM flight back to Christchurch. They served my coffee in a ceramic mug and all the seats had a tray attached—I was chuffed.

Also, not me stifling a squeal in an art gallery when I saw Goodbye, Lenin! in the Canterbury Film Society brochure... and the disappointment when I realized the month it was scheduled for had already passed.

Oh well, you can't have it all. Did get to explore Hobbiton as well—because New Zealand—but perhaps I'll save that post for a different time.