#still pro recovery tho

[aisuru-skinny]

Things from recovery that have made my relapse less miserable

✨I AM IN NO WAY PROMOTING 3D OR ENCOURAGING RELAPSE. I AM VERY MUCH PRO RECOVERY AND WOULD NEVER WISH THIS ON ANYONE✨

But considering I'm currently in relapse and it's a mental disorder and I can't stop any of you, let alone myself, remember to take care of yourselves

🍒 Intuitive Eating - This is probably 85% responsible for my relapse because practicing intuitive eating, I ate every time I was hungry BUT I didn't allow myself to overeat either and I didn't keep eating if I felt like I had too much. I just wanted till I got hungry again. This was like some crazy proof that you can have self control and don't have to binge. If you felt like you messed up with one meal, don't just keep wrecking yourself. Choose that moment to reset IMMEDIATELY instead of telling yourself you'll do it later or if you can have 1 more binge. I used to go in cycles of ⭐vation and then binge for a day to a point where I knew I couldn't fill myself up more but kept going anyway. I haven't had what I would consider a full blown binge in almost 5 months because I know I have control (granted I have overeaten a few times but I don't let myself continue to spiral)

🍒Keto Diet - When we were trying to figure out why everything I eat makes me sick, a keto diet was also test trialed to see if I had a carbohydrate intolerance and the take away from this is that guYS FRUIT HAS SO MANY CARBS it's literally natural sugar that gets converted to carbs and you're weight can just pack back on. I'm not saying don't eat fruit, please do!!! But you have GOT to balance it out with protein and veggies. Having a more savory breakfast, if I eat that morning, makes me last through the day longer than something with fruit or just letting all my meals be fruit. If I do eat fruit, it's a small portion snack or like a little apple sauce pouch situation (there are these things I get called Gutzys and they're just fruit and greens purees with probiotics and 1 pouch is less than 100 cals and they're super filling. I also find if I eat them super quick it helps fill me up and feel a little sick so I don't keep eating after having one.)

🍒 Supplements - PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. TAKE SUPPLEMENTS. I take hair, skin, and nails to maintain biotin levels as well as probiotics because my digestive system is clinically wrecked. And as much as y'all are gonna hate this one, I also drink fiber. It really helps keep things moving and can debloat you too by keeping movement. I've also heard magnesium can help with sleep and bloating but I personally didn't have a difference taking it. Every body reacts differently.

🍒Cycle Syncing - For those of us still on a menstrual cycle, there's something to be said about cycle syncing and remembering that our bodies do go through change every month (ugh). The closer I get to my period, the more bloating I deal with and also find my digestive system is more sensitive. Love Wellness Bye Bye Bloat pills actually really help with the hormonal bloating and I also find this time in my cycle is typically a good excuse for liquid fasting. Bone broths, miso, and diuretic/digestive teas (Dandelion Root/Ginger/Tumeric) are great. Magnesium levels can also drop a lot around this time and make us more susceptible to hunger and cravings, I find that making a low cal hot chocolate using ultra dark cocoa powder is the way to go. It can be slightly bitter to drink but babe get over it, you don't need added sugars. It helps replenish levels, can satisfy chocolate cravings, and the warm drink can help keep the digestive moving and reduce bloating.

🍒Spices - All I'll say, I got back into cooking and please guys. Use spices. Use salt, it has healthy minerals. I know we're not eating a lot but it doesn't have to taste like freaking cardboard. I never count calories in spices because it's slim to none anyways. If I didn't season my food, I'd probably be more wanting to cave and binge because the food is so bland I'm looking for something more tasteful to eat. Season your food, eat what little of it you want, you're satisfied and won't go looking for less boring food.

Remember to take care of yourselves 🩷

[birdsribcage]

Hihi my new anxiety meds took away my appetite

[dog-v3ntz]

fasting makes me hate sweetsp0 cause its all like “you binged??? it’s ok sweetie it isn’t the end of the world :) i still love and believe in you <3333”

JUST STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU

I HAVENT BINGED?? I HAVENT EVEN EATEN??? LITERALLY STFU IM GONNA SCREAM.

[strawberrypillz0]

I have a question. Like, jirai are landmines and people who are not mentally ill are not jirai, then what about people who ARE mentally ill but are not "landmines", does not have BPD etc? Tbh I don't know how should I label myself, I wouldn't say that I'm "fashion jirai"/just ryousangata, I relate to jirai community in a lot of aspects, but also I don't feel like I fit in the other jirais because they're mentally ill in a different way than me, also rn I'm in a bit better place in my life. Still I'm mentally ill, I consider myself a menhera but I don't feel like I fit in definition of landmine. Am I some weird secret third thing or.... Is it okay to consider myself jirai because I'm mentally ill and relate to the community even tho I don't relate to everything because I'm not literally "landmine" and I'm in a better place in my life and I don't have BPD?? Or would that make me just ryousangata because I'm not mentally ill in a "landmine" way?? Or what... Sorry for sending you this ask

Thank you for asking! I would say that being mentally ill isn't a competition where you need to meet specific criterias - Being mentally ill is valid and should be taken seriously no matter how bad it is, I'm glad you're doing better and people who are not pro recovery are just weirdos I wouldn't care about. Yes, you can def label yourself as a jirai if you can relate to some aspects and into the fashion, if you're struggling with your mental health, even a little bit you can label yourself as jirai.

The reason why I would never put ceratin "criterias" or gatekeep this label is very simple, jirais from outside of Japan can't often relate to jp jirais - most of us can't go to host clubs, work as s3x workers, a lot of gaijin jirais can also get help when it comes to their mental health (not all) - which is the reason why jirai exist in the first place, bc in japan it's very rare and taboo. So If JP jirais don't have anything against us wearing this style when we can't relate to some of their actions (stereotypes) (cuz obv not every jirai is working as a s3x worker or go to host clubs, some of them are just mentally ill girls) why us, gaijin jirais should decide if it's okay for someone to be jirai of not based on how bad their mental health is, if they have bpd or not.

So - as long as you're struggling in any way and relate to some aspects of jirai kei, you're more than welcome to be part of the community, it's not really that deep - if someone is gatekeeping jirai cuz you're "not mentally enough" they are weirdos who want to be better than others cuz of how mentally ill they are, which is overall bad and anti recovery.

(i hope it make sense, cuz eng isnt my first language YY)

[voidsquidd]

Not what I usually post but I wanna say something

I recently saw a 12 yr old on shedtwt and ik becuz of what this account used to be that I have shedtwt and shedtblr followers on here

(I have never really used shedtwt but post pop up every few months)

If ur that young then pls do not go on places like that

//TW// sh ed / g0re / gr0oming / s1uicide

Ik that u probably wanna find ppl who have similar struggles to u, ik u probably have issues irl that make u wanna do that stuff and u just wanna find a place where ppl are like u, but shedtwt is not that place

Even if ppl on there say they're pro recovery, the fact they're posting stuff promoting it or showing it in a positive way at all is not gonna help anyone recover, they're still glorifying it to other ppl and promoting pro Ana / sh

Shedtwt/shedtblr will do sm damage to ur brain at a young age

While ur that young what u see will have a massive affect on ur brain and what u view as normal. Older ppl on there are way more aware of what they're doing to themselves and, even if u say ur mature for ur age, u will not know what damage ur actually doing to urself by being on there

Seeing ppl promote stuff like sh: how to go deeper, needing to feel valid, wanting to get worse, showing off their gory sh

Seeing ppl promote eds: saying how many cals they eat, showing of thinspo, fat shaming / meanpso, saying it's better to be thin

That stuff is gonna be more likely to stick with u when u start to consume it from a young age like that, eventually it'll be all u really know, you'll have normalized it sm in ur head with out even realising what you've done. Ppl will have constantly been posting about it and u will have constantly been seeing those posts and slowly making ur brain see all that disordered, dangerous behaviour as normal. Sm so that when u try to recover it'll end up being sm harder, becuz ur whole life, all ur believes, all ur habits, ur hobbies, will be base for sh and ed

Ik someone who was active on there from a young age and they struggle to eat normally sometimes, a normal meal feels like a binge to them and they don't actually know what the real definition of that word means, they count normal eating as eating too much, they count normal and healthy bodies as too fat becuz they saw so many dangerously underweight ppl that they can no longer tell what's healthy. They developed such bad body dysmorphia from all the content that they cannot tell the difference between over 10lbs on their body.

They can't understand why sh is bad sometimes, thinking it's not that big of a deal, they romantizise sh and their cuts, saying they like them and that they want more scars, even asking me to help them. They didn't realise it was a massive issue when they went pretty deep, and then refused to go seek medical help when they should've becuz they were used to giving themself cuts that could kill them, becuz ppl on shedtwt go so deep it could kill them but they barely ever seem to mention that, a young person wouldn't realise that would kill them, the person I'm talking about definitely didn't

They also saw lost of gore. Now I'm gonna get into a bit of physical brain psychology rn. So the brain releases dopamine as a positive reward hormone obviously. Watching gore, even tho it's online, will have the same or similar effect of seeing actual bloody, dead bodies and ppl stabbing themself or killing themself irl. They saw lots of that becuz shedtwt had sh vids which led to gore twt. Seeing ppl stab themselves, cut their arm off, jump off buildings etc, would be like seeing it irl. And seeing it irl would be classed as a traumatic event, it causes trauma. Specifically it damages the part of the brain that releases hormones like dopamine, by consuming that content u are physically damaging ur brain sm it can stop letting u feel happy.

This person may have a bad home life, and that may have caused these issues to start, but they wouldn't have known what sh was without shedtwt, or seen tips on how to go deeper on shedtwt

They wouldn't have seen starving tips or those diets, or workout routines without shedtwt

They wouldn't have felt like what they were doing was normal if they hadn't seen sm of it on shedtwt

They wouldn't have found gore without shedtwt

And they wouldn't have met their groomer and called him their bf if they hadn't been on shedtwt

Even now they're not on there, they lost all their hobbies to Ana/mia, they would spend their time doing nothing but watching and reading stuff about sh and eds and that's all their life was. Just cvtting themself, learning tips on how to starve and trying to ignore their cravings. They used to paint, but they stopped. they used to sew, but they stopped. they used to be really strong and have good health, they don't anymore, becuz they worked their body to exhaustion sm trying to get thin. Their brain consumed sm content, it's all they think about most of the time now and they struggle to distract their thoughts. I remember they told me what they were thinking about and I had to tell them they seemed triggered becuz they were so triggered so often it just became their normal mind. They thought about nothing but what to eat on what day, how many cals were in something, about how to cut deeper, where they should cut, how some of their scars would look prettier if they were in different shapes, suicide methods and what would be the best even tho they didn't have any plans. Images of thinspo and gore and sh would flash in their head constantly.

It became so normal to them it was their whole personality and actual normal things were alien concepts to them. I told them what typically normal things were and they were genuinely surprised at how what they did and thought about wasn't normal.

Ik most young ppl on there are wanting ppl to relate to but it will do more damage than good, sometimes it's better to feel like what ur doing is weird or not normal becuz that gives u more motivation to stop, to try and be normal. Seeing it sm will make u think it's normal and fine and make u feel like there's no issue

That person is still recovering and a lot of the stuff they vent about is the gore they saw, or the thinspo they saw, the things they say that get called out for being negative are always things they learnt to normalize from shedtwt

So pls, I say this to anyone but especially younger ppl like that 12 yr old, shedtwt / tblr is not gonna help u with ur mental health, it isn't a place that genuinely encourages recovery even if ppl say they are pro recovery. It's a place that glorifies sh and eds, and there's so many ppl who also just wanna take advantage of u. Someone who wants to help u starve or sh doesn't have ur best interest in mind, someone who wants u to recover and get better and healed is someone who cares about u

My dms are always open ♡

[queer-otherkin]

Warning: syscorse

Uhhh sooo syscorse. Can someone explain it to me?/gq It can be here or on dms.

Questions down below.

(I'm posting it here so I can actually get an answer, because I have a bit of a following here.)

Here are my questions

-why are endos bad?

-why do people hate endos so much?

-how are they mocking systems?

-Am I anti or pro endo? (My beliefs are down bellow)

Background about me:

I've been trying to keep kind of "I don't want to talk about it bc I don't understand it" and trying to remove myself from it immediately.

But I do want to understand it. At the same time, everytime I go to the tags, it's just everyone yelling at each other and I don't understand anything. And I don't want to be yelled at either lol. I'm actually pretty scared to post this.

My beliefs till now:

-Can they exist?

Ok, uh so, I don't think it matters if I think if endos are real or not? Like, it's not my identity, I don't know them. And that's why I want to know if and how they are hurting the DID/OSDD comunity.

-Are they fakers?

I personally believe they're not. But you can think that they're not real and faking all you want, but have some manners. Don't go out invalidating others. You wouldn't do it irl, so don't do it online.(This sounds like I'm mad but I'm not)

"They fake having DID" but they never said that though...?/gq isn't the term "endo" made to differentiate them from disordered systems?

My opinion on them rn:

I've asked around irl a bit, and it turns out a bunch of teenagers don't give out the best concise answers. So the closest I've gotten to an answer is:

They need their own spaces. traumagenic systems want their own spaces and I think that's valid, sure, they can, and should intersect sometimes, but not as much as they do now. That's why I considered myself sort of anti endo until now. Idk if I'm anti endo tho??? What does my belief classify as?

we can't prove if they're real or not, because studies don't really 100% discard the idea of them being real. As far as I understand, they just haven't done research around endos. They don't fit in the research, because the researchers don't think about endos when doing the research.

And I don't think it's really your, or my space to say what someone is or isn't. If someone calls themselves an endo, but are actually a did system, who cares?

"But they need help because they have trauma!!" yeah!! I agree, but even traumagenic beings don't get help sometimes. Endos can be in treatment and still identify as endogenic. Idk, in the end, everyone has their own process and recovery time.

[lyntergalactic]

20 Questions for Writers

i was tagged by the ever lovely @oakashandwillow

1. How many works do you have on AO3? uh... are we counting works i've orphaned over the years? if not, 16 over two accounts.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 41,118

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently, it's all star wars all the time, though there's probably going to be a one piece fic out of me soon. other fandoms i've written for include dragon age, naruto, and stranger things.

the rest of the ?s are under a cut to save space!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(i promise you that) we're marching on | naruto fic, sakura-centric gen

the long and short of it | witcher fic, geralt/eskel, bonus fiberarts

the unexpected series | stranger things fic, steddie, rule 63!steve with surprise baby

quid pro quo | star wars: the clone wars fic, rex/echo, smut

the will to carry on | stranger things fic, abandoned wip, rule 63!steve

5. Do you respond to comments? i try to! i don't always have the spoons for it tho

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? surprisingly, it's not the fic that's all about grief and recovery. it's a star wars drabble, changing of the guard.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? the joke answer is quid pro quo. (because it's smut.) but most of my endings tend to be content or hopeful if not happy, so this is hard to quantify for me.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not as of yet, but given i write cloneshipping i'm honestly just bracing for it to happen at some point

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? indeed i do. i currently only have one smut thing uploaded, so idk if i can say anything for certain about trends, but given my wips... emotional sex and smut as character studies seem to be my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? nope. not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope! thankfully, i've heard horror stories

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i think one that no longer exists was once translated. (i had a sad habit of deleting or orphaning things i was less than pleased with when i was younger. i know better now.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? ahaha yes but none of it i'm going to mention by name. all my co-written fic happened in middle school with IRL friends.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? i'm a filthy multishipper this question is like asking me which of my hairs i like best

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? oh man. definitely the will to carry on and the couple of stranger things wips in my wip file. not that i don't love the stories anymore, but certain parts of the fandom annoyed me right out of any inspiration or desire to touch anything related to said fandom with a twelve foot pole.

16. What are your writing strengths? i like to think i'm good with characterization and dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? writing anything longer than 3k words max lmao though that has been improving lately and i have high hopes for the sev fic getting finished

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? there... there is a whole can of worms here that this question opens for me and i don't think anyone wants my ramble about dialogue, other languages, conlangs, dialects, and the effects of having been in anime fandom for so long so. this is not getting answered other than with a shrug

(unless someone wants the ramble in which case i will happily oblige)

19. First fandom you wrote for? teen titans cartoon when i was a wee thing. it was a self-insert fic that was less than a page in ms word, single spaced :')

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this is such a cop-out answer but i genuinely don't think i can pick a favorite. maybe ordinal, just because i'm still super proud of having finished it and what i did with the characterization at missing scenes? but augh i want to put more here too

i'm tagging @bisexualdinahlance, @bilbosmom-belladonna, @cacodaemonia, aaaaand @cabezadeperro but no pressure if you're not game :> and if anyone wants to do it but isn't tagged /points to eyes /points to u

[tyrann0rexic]

about me:

i will talk here about eat_ng d_sorders and it might be triggering for people in recovery.

sw: 75kg :(

ugw: 45kg <3

hw: 75kg..

i started at the 21st december 2023, right after i have been released from the psychward (because of a anxiety disorder). since then i have been eating around 500kcal and lost 2,5kg.

no one knows about my disordered eating habits.

i struggle with b_ng_ng but i am working on getting it under control. i have been purg_ng but try not to feed into that habit atm.

i really appreciate any dm and try to answer as quick as possible. <3

if you want to give me any tips i appreciate that too. =D

i am from germany so i speak german fluid and english since i am 7 (im still making some mistakes tho..)

i am totally pro revovery!!

[antiradqueer]

So I see this blog on rare occasions and I don't interact bc I'm proship. So apologies if I am breaking any DNIs. But I was previously in the radqueer community and I left only two weeks ago. It was fucking disgusting. They are very much anti recovery and anti "no contact paraphiles". It was disgusting because I struggle with impulsive thoughts about the big 3 paraphilias and they were constantly telling me "Oh, it's normal to be pro contact and fuck kids/animals/dead people". I literally went to therapy bc I wanted to kill myself for my thoughts and they were trying to get me to *destroy* my progress. Hell, I was in radqueer discord servers and it was a hellscape. One of them (labeled "Radqueer HQ"/"RQHQ") literally had channels for simping over *real children and animals* and encouraged children to simp for adults. A few others were also very inclusive of transnazis and transharmful identities and would not listen to "cis" Jewish people like myself. It was very hateful and disgusting.

They also would label things as transids when there's so many better ways to explain shit. "Transseverity", " transtrauma", literally almost any "transabled" bs? That's literally based on the ableist idea that you need to be a certain level of disabled to be a "real" disabled person. "Transspecies"? Welcome to being otherkin. Ik that's a stolen term from otherkin and therians, but it's just so associated with them now that it's ruined. "Transrace"? Pretty much just fetishizing a race. The only context I can imagine it is if you're mixed race and only raised as a single race (which was my case), but even then you literally do not need to label it as "transrace". They're just appropriating an actual term for adoptees. Also, transpersonality, translocation, ect is all just bullshit. Literally the only transid I can relate to is transage, but only on the same level as otherkin. Chrosonian is a much better term for this tho.

I still struggle with hating myself for being in that cult. It was genuinely disgusting and turned me into a person I hate. And you know what? It doesn't make me a racist/ableist/conservative asshole for not being okay with it.

-🌌🐱

Ps: I'm rlly drunk at this moment so I have thoughts and anger(tm)

dw the only real dni here is rqs, i just put that there so people dont start asking

yeah i get what you mean, im sorry you had to go through their shit. i hope you can get through it all /gen

[pink-tears]

Hello everyone, I'm Mikan! This account is dedicated to my love of Jesus, my truamas, my life stories and well, my love for Mikan.

This blog will not be for everyone and that's totally OK! I don't expect anyone to particularly enjoy me. That being said I need a pin post haha.

About me!

Alias: Mikan

Age: 21

Zodiac: (I don't believe in them anymore but;) Capricorn

Personality type: INFP-T /INFJ-T

Race: mixed, heavily. African-American, Cherokee, Latin(a), Korean, White. (White passing)

Political standing: center, very slight right. (Not by much tho!

Religion: Roman Catholic Convert (Christian)

Patron St.: St. Mary Magdalen (Jesus' Mother)

Former faiths: Greek Mythos High Priestess (Apollo Devotee), Shia Muslim, Atheist.

Rel. Status: Engaged as of April 23rd '24

DNI will be in my rentry, tho, BYF will be here.

BYF: I will post about my truamas pretty openly here, that does Include very graphic things which I don't want minors to read regardless of your beliefs, children and minors shouldn't be subject to what I went through. That being said, other adults regardless of race, gender identity or faiths are free to read what I write. This will be my journal, an open journal.

I don't post NSFW content, I don't want to see NSFW content, this page isn't child friendly tho! Adults with NSFW accounts and want to follow me, follow me on your alt please.

I'm a proud Christian, that being said I may preach here from time to time. If you don't like that please scroll by or unfollow me that's totally OK! Jesus saved my life and I think that's beautiful. I will praise him here.

I am a Mikan Tsumiki IRL, if you think she'd be uncomfortable by you, I likely will be too! I don't mind kins or other irls as long as their aware it is psychosis and a delusion we are subject to. We are pro-recovery on this page!!

If you make a fetish of Mikan, I will have to ask you to DNI, it's weird. If she were real she would be traumatized by you, be aware of this!!

I am dyslexic, heavily, actually. Typos exist here please don't correct them, trust me I'm aware. Unless we're close, don't correct me!

Lastly, I am a HC-DID system, diagnosed and recovering to reach being a Singlet. I won't discuss my alters here, it makes me uncomfortable being a system isn't fun.

Diagnosed illnesses/etc: HC-DID, BPD, Generalized Anxiety, C-PTSD, Clinical Depression, Anorexia+Bulimia Nervosa, Leg Truama, GERD(still undergoing Diag.)

Working on Diag. From my Dr.: POTS (I may be forgetting some)

(Idc if yall post me on r/cringe, or whatever, I dislike fake systems too and what not. I am not one but still someone may suspect me since, it's the internet)

[boneyardangels]

Stats+intoduction

(Updated as needed)

(Decided to make one of these since I’ve been posting more often)

-i don’t want to share my exact age(for safety reasons+privacy)but i am an adult/18+ !!

-I also don’t want to give my real name out so you can just call me angel lol

-I’m relatively new to the community so still getting used to how things work:)

-I have been dealing with disordered eating issues/ed since I was 11( I am a adult, for those just starting/finding all of this stuff or minors it is never too late to get help)

-CW: along with a Ed i also struggle with sh,depression, and anxiety so there may be content/vents(etc.) related to those topics as well or it may be brought up within Ed content so TW on that (though there will NEVER be photos of sh here so no need to worry abt that popping up on my page!)

-PRO RECOVERY 100%! I hope everyone is able to recover at some point! I fully encourage and support recovery and am very proud of those that are on that track! Everything I post is directed at me and only me as I do not wish or desire to hurt others or damage them or their self esteem the way mind has been!!!!

DNI:

-if you’re in recovery!(you got this+very proud of you!)

-if you are going to be negative/hateful

-nsfw/p0rň accounts

TW:ED CONTENT AHEAD!!

Height: 5’4

Highest weight: 173.8lb

Lowest weight: 99.0lb (when I was first getting really into my ed around like age 11/12or smth.)

Start weight: 141.3lb (from 2022, earliest photo of my weight I have, probably something else tho seeing as I started when I was 11, I just don’t have any photos or notebooks from that time lol :p )

Current weight: 141.0lb (last updated 9/18/24)

Current BMI: 24.2

goal weight #1 : 134lb

⭐️-

goal weight #2 : 125lb

⭐️-

goal weight #3 : 116lb

⭐️-

goal weight #4 : 109lb

⭐️-

under weight goal #1: 102 lb

under weight goal #2: 94lb

(Still working on thinking of gifts for reaching my goal weights lol will be updated when I figure them out)

‼️BLOCK DON’T REPORT, THIS IS JUST HOW I HAPPEN TO COPE W/ THINGS, REPORTING MY ACC WILL DO NOTHING TO HELP‼️

[reveseke]

NOMU ! Katsuki Bakugo headcanons — ORIGIN

It' s not that detailed bc hard lol so any whump-related things , character death and torture have been only mentioned they are not descriptive . Also this au does not exactly follow through the original plot of the anime . It' s an alternative plot for it to fit and does not end up with the animes ending bc neo has yet to finish it lol .

Not proof read ! Bear with ne that there might be grammar errors , ne is not a native speaker ;) .

Characters — [ Katsuki Bakugo | Raid team mention | LOV. Mention | Dr. Kuydai mention | AFO mention ]

Genre — [ Hurt / no comfort ]

CW — [ Whump | muzzle mention | Defiant whumpee type | human to nonhuman ( by being nomued ) | Temporal character death | ressuraction mention | lab whump | Alternative AFO way | Alternative plot | Amnesia | fighting | inhumane testing mention | death mention | passing out ]

DNI - Fudanashis/fujodashis, women & fem-aligned, profic/proship, anti - LGBTQ+ folk & exclusionists, anti-antis, Necro- Zoo- Pedophiles + (NO)Maps(and other terms), basic DNI criteria, kink/nude/nsfw/sh/vent/pro-ana/ed/18+ blogs

So when Kat got kidnapped the heroes or the students couldn't rescue him. Instead he was accidentally killed during the raid because of trying to fight the villains and getting in front of a attacking hero. He bled out pretty much during the Kamino incident and when the LOV. Ended where they ended he was beyond recovering state.

Due to the potential and powerful quirk that Katsuki possesses as a villain and an asset he was instead brought to the lab. Now since AFO has been defeated, i think there could be a more artificial version of doing what he could. Like thinking more sci-fi type shit with a way of securing stolen quirks into something and then being able to give them as if they fuse into the body, bloodstream, DNA and mind.

But it's a lot more painful since it takes a lot of time and the character would need to be alive for it bc research. Also bc they want to make sure that he actually lives, even if it's barely so to see how it changes him.

Personally don't really like the do them like Kurogiri was done type of nomu when it comes to Nomu AUs lol so doing something different.

I think they could have someone with a revival quirk revive katsuki to a state he'd be alive enough to take care for a few weeks. So he just doesn't recollapse and die during the 'operation ' of exposing new quirks to his weak body. ( They still keep him weak and with quirk dampening collar bc they don't want him to try an escape any way possible lol. )

During the meek recovery time they give him which he is in agony and barely councious. The doctor, Kyudai, decides upon what he wishes to experiment with. Instead of going straight with how Kurogiri was made he ends up trying something more animalistic and shapeshifty, feral type ( iykyk ) even.

Having picked out the quirks from the storage of quirks he has to work with. It's been about three weeks and Kats still in pain but doing so much better than before at least. They've been starting the preparation of the operation already and he has no idea what's exactly going on.

So the only minus would be that he's stuck in a hospital bed, like literally restrained against it bc every now and then when staff came to check on him he would unapologetically trash around and try to attack them so they had to sedate him and made him rather delirious. They even muzzled him as well bc the man is loud and i mean L O U D even if heavily sedated.

He's most likely going to fight them every change and energy surge he gets even if sedated, he's stubborn and knows what's going on is very wrong even if he has no clue what's going on. So defiant smh giving the staff such a hard time /j .

Let's say bc of his fighting the staff he almost made his way to the skies again. His state was corrected tho, so the operation they had prepared him to undergo was successfull.

He was then caged up and locked away for four months before anything really happened. They monitored his state which was format for full two months. He kinda just fell into a coma for a sec.

But forcing him out if it with electric shocks as a experiment was successful. He awoke in pain and the first thing they got out of him was a blood curling scream of agony. His whole body welt like it was on fire and it went on for the rest of two months

His skin went from it's original colour to ashy black and had a weird soft leathery texture to it. His form changed to resemble a four legged snake, like an oriental dragon but not quite like it, with a black mane of dark cherry black hair with blond tips. ( Probs gonna end up drawing something resembling him lol )

His eyes went towards a orangish cherry tint and seemed rather flowy whispy-like like Kurogiris but more whispy.

His size if standing on his hind legs without tail would most likely be around 8'3-8'6 and with tail depending on the without tail measurements around 8'9-9'3 . Why I'm doing it this way ? Most likely because i wanna know how much he grows from first to 'final ' form. Aka when he grew first after the procedure and what he ended up being after settling in the new body. Y'know what I mean, right ?

After waking up it's more than evident that he has little to no idea who he had been before. Just waking up with amnesia and rolling with the pain and everything that most likely ended up with him being overstimulated and throwing a tantrum with bodies flying lol.

The quirks decided upon him were dragon , Shrink shift, Combust and his own original explosion quirk.

The Dragon obviously giving him dragonic form , shrink shift is about ones personal size shrinking and combust alight his mane and blood into a deep cherry red fire but not exactly to a explosive extention. And ofc his own explosions are just that explosions through his sweat ( although his quirk won't work properly bc he doesn't sweat anymore, but an alternative to that will be spoken later )

Testing is a pain in the ass and nursing everything together for him to be healed properly for it was even more. Live testing in which it was recorded for research with scientists + doctors present and having him test his abilities and new body finding and hitting the hard limits multiple times in a row.

It was basically torture for Kat. Since he had no recovery time in-between the testing and when got the time he was slow at it.

What they discovered was that from the dragon quirk the healing factory would only activate when he was on fire , but he had no resistance to his own fire which would end up hurting him more.

Just because the combust quirk worked it was risky to use, so with another add on he got a quirk that enchanted his recovery time and healing factory work giving him some but not much resistance towards the fire that the combustion quirk gave him.

Most of the quirks either malfunctioned together or gave him little to no resistance to the drawback of another quirk. Or it just ended up being really problematic quirk combo that was not suitable to be combined.

It was a shit show of upgrade and downgrade how the quirks worked and slowly Kat was becoming the most disasterous nomu they had ever created. He never lost his temper and was wildly unpredictable, they came to a conclusion of not being able to control him.

They assigned alot of people that worked under them to sedate him which with the healing factory increasing quirk did little to nothing because it fought the sedation very clearly. Many ended up dead trying to get him into a collar that would damped the quirks for a little while before they had him under control.

Although it was nothing to be surprised when he managed to escape his containment cell during the weekly remove-the-old-collar-and-put-a-new-one-on because he was fed up being in one or two places and he proceeded to wreck havoc in the laboratory where he was kept. He unleashed the pent up anger that ended up in a bloodlust and death of many workers.

After breaking out he finds himself in a forest, just besides an abandoned building site. The laboratory he was in being underground for more of safety reasons.

He discovers the other 'normal' nomus incubating in the abandoned building like it was seen during the start of Kamino incident. But at this point still in pain and pretty panicked he doesn't mind them bc they are dormant and just let's them be. Instead Kat finds himself roaming the site and puckering into buildings destroying them most likely.

A little delirious, fatigued and in pain he wanders off, trying to fly as much as he can which is not that much bc of fatigue. He does know how to do it, but he's still fatigued because of the testing.

He ends up collapsing somewhere in a shaded area with people that might have heard him. Most likely villains and vigilantes if the ring the abandoned site is is shady in the first place. They don't really do anything just kinda looks and if one of them is with the LOV. They might report about Kat being out. Literally.

[myfixationacademia]

Entry number 2 for my series of "my take on the bnha characters or at least some of them", we got Uravity!

As per usual, the headcanons are under read more

- Uraraka's parents had gotten into their situation due to a financial contract they made with a shady person once their company started to take off in popularity, the person in question was none other than Re-Destro, whom scammed the married couple, after his arrest and end of the war, various contracts related to these scams were exposed, including Uraraka's parents', leading to them recovering the money and having a more comfortable life, Ochako never stopped working hard tho, still sending a portion of her earning to her mom and dad so they can save up to enjoy themselves at a restaurant, a beach, or anything of that sort;

- after Ochako gets used to use her quirk for unlimited time, without feeling nauseated, she starts using zero gravity whenever and for any situation, this however has led to her accidentally dropping items from her hands as if she was still under her quirk's effect, leading to her being confused or embarrassed;

- As pro hero, he has a special vehicle for traveling between cities, states, even countries, called the "Air tearer", a powerful jet that can reach huge velocities, made specifically for Uravity as a means of transportation with her quirk in mind, this jet however is mostly not used that often, only In cases of emergency, she wants to save up on gas use;

- her and Toga's relationship bloomed in the war but truly flourish afterwards, The two girls wouldn't waste anytime on acting sweet and lovingly with one another, specially because Ochako is a source of comfort for Toga. However, when absent, Toga would be a real menace to Uraraka's classmates, except for Bakugou, she feels like the two are really similar, although by extension he had to say that Izuku was off limits;

-speaking of him, Ochako confessed to him in the hospital while recovering from her wounds, under the effects of anesthesia, after getting that told by Deku, she apologizes profusely as she intended for that to never be said to him, but he says that he has felt the same, but much like her, it was a misplaced attraction, what others assumed was love, was just admiration and a want to be like the other, but since neither have ever experienced a relationship of that sort, both assumed it was love, however, the recovery period gave them a lot of time to think, and to realize they work better as best friends;

- Uraraka has made various visits to many space stations around Japan, mostly due to wanting to experience the training a astronaut goes through so it could help her with her quirk, not only that, she was later called to assist in said trainings for simulations on zero gravity, also leading to her joining a female only group of researches to a trip to Mars, she ended up getting a mineral they found there after her, the Uravitanion, a rare type of quartz only found on Mars that is gets lighter on earth but heavier on Mars, as well as the property of glowing once someone touches it like a plasma ball.

[kokikokisstuff]

Posted on 02. November 23.

Firstly - don’t start. I am pro recovery all day everyday. Please, please get help. There are so many people who are willing to help and it will get better. Whatever you think you can prove or fix or destroy by starving yourself is not worth it. It’s not. You deserve to be fed, you deserve to be healthy. I am looking for help all the time and I want to get better so badly. Please no minors.

23 yo

175 cm / 5’9”

CW: 59kg / 130lbs

GW: 49 kg / 108lbs

I don’t really have a start weight. I have been anorexic since I was 12. It started because I was sick for a week and lost some weight. I wanted to loose more, I was searching for a sense of belonging. My life was unbearable and I was living in an abusive household ever since I was born. In school my classmates bullied me which made me feel very lonely. I had no one who supported me so I was looking for something that would support me. I fell into the dark hole that eating disorders are and learned to love the voice inside my head that told me to starve myself until someone - anyone - saw the pain I was carrying inside of me. Within six months I lost 19kg/41lbs. I went from 63kg/139lbs to 44kg/97lbs. Once my mother caught onto it she forced me to eat. I was crying, screaming, begging not to eat the food she put in front of me. I was terrified. I wanted to vanish into thin air. One day I couldn’t take the verbal and mental abuse anymore and started binging away.

I never got treated for my eating disorder. I was so ashamed of the fact that my family, especially my own mother, didn’t help me fight this illness. I made up a lie and told everyone I got treatment. I couldn’t possibly say that my family doesn’t give a f*k. If someone would have helped me and got me into therapy - maybe I wouldn’t be here, 10 years later, still suffering.

The past 10 years were a horrible up and down and I was never able to shut the voice inside my head up. My highest weight has been 67kg/147lbs, my lowest weight during this time was 51kg/112lbs. I binged and starved and binged and starved some more. I am tired.

So 10 years ago all this mess started, I hate this illness more than anything else however - she’s my best friend. Never leaves my side, ever. I have so many stories about my life with anorexia, I could write multiple books. I wish I’d have never started…

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 this year and about two years ago with bpd. Due to therapy I was able to treat almost all of my bpd symptoms, so I’m not struggling with it as much as before. Bipolar I is a different thing tho. I’m on medication since may this year, it has helped immensely. I still struggle with mania especially and depression symptoms. They’re just not as strong as before, luckily!

For two months now I have been back on this bullsh full time and I already lost 7kg/16lbs. Seeing the number drop lower and lower is a feeling I have never experienced before or ever again with anything else. So I will keep on starving myself until I binge eat myself all the way back to before. Or until I reach my GW. I just want to see how far I can push myself. How much weight can I lose until I’ll lose life?

I went vegan in 2019 due to health reasons and I am still vegan today. I am not the purging type, I am the starving type. I also hardly do any sporty activities but I want to get more into it again because I am good at sports.

If you have any questions please ask away! I’m happy to be part of a community, whichever one that might be. :-)

[evildeadism]

request info!

please read this before submitting a request! I love hearing from yall and I love writing for these characters so do not be shy in putting in a request! :))))

who/what I write for: ash williams (evil dead). mark hoffman (saw).michael myers (halloween + RZ!michael). father paul (midnight mass). dream (the sandman). eric draven (the crow). stu macher (scream). billy loomis (scream). adam stanheight (saw). lawrence gordon (saw). amanda young (saw).

if you would like to request a specific group for headcanons for example 'how would the slasher's react to a reader who____?' or 'how would the jigsaw apprentices react to ____ reader?'

the slashers included would be:

michael myers

stu & billy

jason voorhees

mark hoffman

brahms heelshire

(let me know if theres a specific character you'd like me to add tho!)

and the jigsaw apprentices would be:

amanda young

mark hoffman

lawrence gordon

(and maybe adam if people requested it! no logan tho...sorry logan enjoyers)

what I DON'T write: anything to do with piss or shit, feet fetishism, non-con, any illegal kink.

what I WILL write: smut, sfw, nsfw, romantic, platonic, comfort, fluff, angst. bondage, s/m elements, rough stuff. sh, suicide and some mental illnesses and mental health stuff written in a constructive, comforting and pro recovery way! (as someone who has struggled with sh and suicide those comfort fics for those things used to comfort me a lot, so I'm hoping it helps others too! I of course will TW anything like that though!)

when requesting:

please tell me what character or characters you'd like the request to be for, please tell me whether you'd like gender neutral reader or female reader. for smut I'm only writing with afab but am happy to use gender neutral pronouns still! also say whether you'd like headcanons or a short fic. also make sure you make it known whether you'd like it to be platonic because otherwise I'll most likely write it romantically and whether you'd like it sfw or nsfw! REMEMBER: I am always happy to receive requests and they make me smile so hard!!!

[failed-apple]

okay heres again my opinions on proed, and please read the whole post before commenting.

i think proana should be allowed to exist, just not on public social medias. private forums are a thing, i use one (im not gonna drop the name tho sorry. if you wanna find one you can use google/reddit). explanation:

proana is gonna exist no matter what. its existed online since the start of the internet (and probably before that in some way) and it doesn't seem to go away since its kind of a natural thing that comes with weight related eds to want to be triggered. with proed and proana i mean both possibly triggering stuff, relatability, acceptance, harm reduction and in a contained, safe space, thinspo and other purposfully triggering stuff. i have seen people one here that are very much tredding the line of encouraging eds, (posts like reasons to starve, meanspo, tips etc.) which is still proana and i get wanting to post it but public social media is definitely not the place for that. in ed forums there are different subforums for different things, so you can be on an ed forum without ever seeing thinspo, or things about purging or numbers if you want to. also, forums are moderated, and a lot of proana forums still dont allow harmful tips or encouraging other to get worse. even if its a space to post triggering stuff, its supposed to be a safe space for people with eds, and stuff like teaching people who to purge or encouraging long fasts (things ive seen on here) isnt making anyone safe.

and again: edforums are contained places and thats the important thing. the thing with proanablr/twt/tt/yt and so on is that its really easy to accidentally find, especially on social medias with algorithms. on tiktok anyone whos liked a vid about depression can easily get a vid about eds on their fyp, which could introduce them to the glamorizing eds tt to *what i eat in a day - restricting edition/300cal edition* and so on, which would make them more likely to develop an ed. people dont accidentally stumble upon a semiprivate proana website where you need to have been active a certain amount of time and posted a certain amount of posts to see the triggering stuff. and on tumblr, where theres not much of an algorithm, i still think people shouldnt post thinspo and stuff like that. yes, its a bit more difficult to stumble upon, but if youre on say bpdblr, you might not scroll through a whole blog before following it, and then you have proana stuff on your dash cause naturally people mix the stuff they post about. and even if youre already on edblr you might not want a bunch of triggering stuff, and cause of the nonworking filtering system cause everyone uses tags like @ na m1a anj0r3ks1@ and so fucking on, its impossible to filter out the triggering posts. when i have times i want to recover i want to be able to have a safe dash. so i try my best to not follow and unfollow everyone who post thinspo, but cause not everyone who does it are only-thinspo blogs its difficult to know who i can follow, and i accidentally follow a lot of triggering blogs.

what my blog is, is pro recovery. i try to post as little triggering things as possible, while also posting memes and things non disordered people possibly could find concerning, but with the more obviously triggering stuff, i post on the edforum, since that way theres no one accidentally stumbling upon it.

tldr: proana should exist, but only on closed moderated forums.