#still pro recovery tho

[aisuru-skinny]

Things from recovery that have made my relapse less miserable

✨I AM IN NO WAY PROMOTING 3D OR ENCOURAGING RELAPSE. I AM VERY MUCH PRO RECOVERY AND WOULD NEVER WISH THIS ON ANYONE✨

But considering I'm currently in relapse and it's a mental disorder and I can't stop any of you, let alone myself, remember to take care of yourselves

🍒 Intuitive Eating - This is probably 85% responsible for my relapse because practicing intuitive eating, I ate every time I was hungry BUT I didn't allow myself to overeat either and I didn't keep eating if I felt like I had too much. I just wanted till I got hungry again. This was like some crazy proof that you can have self control and don't have to binge. If you felt like you messed up with one meal, don't just keep wrecking yourself. Choose that moment to reset IMMEDIATELY instead of telling yourself you'll do it later or if you can have 1 more binge. I used to go in cycles of ⭐vation and then binge for a day to a point where I knew I couldn't fill myself up more but kept going anyway. I haven't had what I would consider a full blown binge in almost 5 months because I know I have control (granted I have overeaten a few times but I don't let myself continue to spiral)

🍒Keto Diet - When we were trying to figure out why everything I eat makes me sick, a keto diet was also test trialed to see if I had a carbohydrate intolerance and the take away from this is that guYS FRUIT HAS SO MANY CARBS it's literally natural sugar that gets converted to carbs and you're weight can just pack back on. I'm not saying don't eat fruit, please do!!! But you have GOT to balance it out with protein and veggies. Having a more savory breakfast, if I eat that morning, makes me last through the day longer than something with fruit or just letting all my meals be fruit. If I do eat fruit, it's a small portion snack or like a little apple sauce pouch situation (there are these things I get called Gutzys and they're just fruit and greens purees with probiotics and 1 pouch is less than 100 cals and they're super filling. I also find if I eat them super quick it helps fill me up and feel a little sick so I don't keep eating after having one.)

🍒 Supplements - PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. TAKE SUPPLEMENTS. I take hair, skin, and nails to maintain biotin levels as well as probiotics because my digestive system is clinically wrecked. And as much as y'all are gonna hate this one, I also drink fiber. It really helps keep things moving and can debloat you too by keeping movement. I've also heard magnesium can help with sleep and bloating but I personally didn't have a difference taking it. Every body reacts differently.

🍒Cycle Syncing - For those of us still on a menstrual cycle, there's something to be said about cycle syncing and remembering that our bodies do go through change every month (ugh). The closer I get to my period, the more bloating I deal with and also find my digestive system is more sensitive. Love Wellness Bye Bye Bloat pills actually really help with the hormonal bloating and I also find this time in my cycle is typically a good excuse for liquid fasting. Bone broths, miso, and diuretic/digestive teas (Dandelion Root/Ginger/Tumeric) are great. Magnesium levels can also drop a lot around this time and make us more susceptible to hunger and cravings, I find that making a low cal hot chocolate using ultra dark cocoa powder is the way to go. It can be slightly bitter to drink but babe get over it, you don't need added sugars. It helps replenish levels, can satisfy chocolate cravings, and the warm drink can help keep the digestive moving and reduce bloating.

🍒Spices - All I'll say, I got back into cooking and please guys. Use spices. Use salt, it has healthy minerals. I know we're not eating a lot but it doesn't have to taste like freaking cardboard. I never count calories in spices because it's slim to none anyways. If I didn't season my food, I'd probably be more wanting to cave and binge because the food is so bland I'm looking for something more tasteful to eat. Season your food, eat what little of it you want, you're satisfied and won't go looking for less boring food.

Remember to take care of yourselves 🩷

[birdsribcage]

Hihi my new anxiety meds took away my appetite

[tired-and-triggered]

🤞🤞

Need to break the generational cycle of losers & make my own fortune 💪😤

ok well im going to build a good future for myself whether i like it or not

[catsoupki]

你留下的遺憾 / destruction in your wake (bakugou x reader)

Summary: you wonder whether bakugou remembers you: a girl from his distant past; something he’s left behind. you think he’s forgotten all of your touch and the smell of your hair, but to him, you’re still leaving traces on him, and he’ll never escape

Warnings: just kinda angsty actually, the reader is said to have a chronic illness, didn’t specify what tho, wasn’t expecting to post this so sorry for the lack of capitalisation!

wc: 700

now, at twenty five, you see the ghost of your past haunting you. when you pass by the sandbox, you hear the blooming noises of explosions. you hear the stifling tears from fighting bullies and you smell the stench of nitroglycerin. the last time you had seen katsuki bakugou was this morning, when you were making breakfast in your kitchenette with the television turned on. the bleed of morning sun flutters into your studio apartment, inundating your belongings with warmth. the news channel broadcasted an accident from a previous night, in which pro hero dynamight was able to catch and arrest two villains by himself during his night patrol, but still left destruction in his wake.

it’s the collapse of scaffolding, the uprooting of walkways, with soot and burn scars scalded into the walls of concrete. it’s the name of your childhood love plastered over every single surface that exists.

the last time you had seen katsuki bakugou, you were fifteen. wearing a graduation cap too heavy for your dipped head, donning a robe too large for your then small and sickly thin body.

katsuki bakugou had looked at you with something in the guise of disgust. head held high with a kind of dignity you’re unfamiliar with, the dignity that comes with being the best at what you do, the dignity that encompasses his self-assurance. or perhaps it was betrayal, a shattering unbeknownst to you.

a dream too good to be true— two tickets that would allow you to step foot into the heroes’ world, only to have one fall short, in the name of illness.

he had never visited you during your chronic stay at the hospital. but at twenty five, perhaps now you recall the nameless cards that were littered onto your bed-side table before you had even awoken, at the glimpse of dawn.

a promise broken by betrayal— he looks at you, from a pedestal unto the commoners, he looks at you with his head tilted high and leaned back, as if he’s too afraid to get too close. maybe he is. he was never good at deceiving you.

since the day of your graduation, you see the ghost of your past everywhere. when you walk past the convenience store on the way to work, only to be greeted by the face of dynamight on the package of onigiris. and when you go shopping with friends, you'll be reminded of his face on the commercial district billboard for calvin klein.

he is everything you’re not, and likewise, vice versa. you’re everything he’s not. your contact is left to collect dust in his phone but he’s sure you would’ve forgotten him by now. it’s the doing of his teenage self, to push you and your illness away until you recover, until you move on with life, onto normalcy. you won’t ever realise the years that he had used his birthday wishes and new years fortune to pray for your recovery. for you to make it out of the hospital, alive and well, because what is there to being a hero if not for you? what is there to protect when you’re not even there?

but he also won’t ever know the times you’ve knelt in front of the television in your childhood home, when you were sixteen, bowing your head and praying to god that even if he doesn’t show you mercy, he should at least use that to keep bakugou safe, alive and well.

it’s been over a decade. the last time he saw you, you had pale cheeks and barely made it to the graduation ceremony without fainting. your body was sticks and bones, remnants of an unhealed sickness that stole your dreams away.

he sees you now in the flowers he receives. he sees you in the eyes of students in the schools that he gives talks at. a childlike wonder that never got to grow up, a kindness that was killed over and over again until you became a tinder without a fire.

he tells himself: he’s moved on. and perhaps except for izuku, no one will ever notice just how ugly the scar on his heart is. you’re no hero, you’re no villain, you’re something of the in-between, but still, you leave destruction in your wake.

[ibeblizzard12]

…….……🐾🦴🖤🎀🖤🦴🐾………….

Haiii I’m Nyx!! I’m an edblr!! She/they(anything workz but they/them is preferred but idc tbh), intp/intj, in high school(my age is one of these: 14, 15, or 16),pro recovery, not pro ana, caffeine addicted virgin, aroace but idm flirting for funz, MINOR!!!, very mentally ell, not much trauma tbh, hello kitty/sanrio obsession, junkorexic, cutecore/cutegore/2020 e kid, minor aspirin addiction, insomniac, biological girl(I identify as one as well), cat person, sh, multiple mental illnesses, luvz video games like dti omori ddlc yanderesimulator sims4, usually stayz up untilz 2-5am, probably anemic, likes 2 drawz, likes 2 smoke and do drugs(usually snorts em), been in mental hospitals before, I’ve tried to kms once or twice lol, needz 24/7 distraction so I don’t think about kms, ed is a copping mechanism for meh, on antidepressants, tried therapy before doesn’t work for for meh tho cuz imz a minor, very few safe foodz, very picky, multiple personalities, brunette, youngest child, can never tell if I’m a victim(like it’s not my fault I’m this way I just have a bunch of mental problems) or the absuser(I deserve to be miserable cuz i manipulate people and I think of them as entertainment I would kill them without a second thought if I could get away with it and I wouldn’t feel guilty for it and I literally can’t feel empathy ect), underweight, hates physical touch, always eepy, hates myself :P

I AM NOT PRO ANA IM AM FUCKING PRO RECOVERY SO DONT FUCKING REPORT MEH THIS IS MY DAMN SAFE PLACE AND MY ONLINE DIARY I AM NOT TRYING TRIGGER ANYONE U ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR UR OWN TRIGGERS JUST LET ME HAVE THIS BLOG I AM VERY MENTALLY UNSTABLE AND THIS BLOG IS A WAY TO DISTRACT ME FROM MY SUI IDEATION MY MOOTS ARE ONE OF THE REASONS I HAVENT KMS YET PLZ JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND JUST BLOCK ME NO REPORTING IS NOT GOING MAKE ME RECOVER THE MORE I GET REPORTED THE MORE DEPRESSED I GET MY ED IS MY COOPING MECHANISM I KNOW ITS NOT A GOOD ONE I AM FULLY AWARE THE DANGERS OF AN ED BUT IM JUST GONNA KMS IF U KEEP REPORTING ME SO YOULL BE THE REASON I FUCKING DIE🖕

DNI-

homophobics/transphobics, misogynists, people who have mdni in their bio, under 13, 27+, creeps, pro ana people(but if ur not gonna comment anything pro ana on my posts then idm), pedifles, people in recovery(but if we’re already mootz then can still interact just not on my blog or just block the tags that ur recovering fromz), non mentally ell blogs, men if their over 21, gen alphas(I don’t count 13/14ys), people w fat or skinny or sh fetishes, people who want report meh or my mootz

(Keep reading if u wannaz know more about meh)

DIAGNOSED W-

anorexia, depression, adhd, anxiety, minor autism, minor ocd, sui ideation, arfid 

NOT DIAGNOSED BUT I MIGHT/PROBABLY HAVE-

bulimia(100% sure I have it(kinda trying to recover fromz it tho), aspd(psychopath), bipolar, DID

RANDOM MENTALLY ILLNESS SHIT ABOUT MEH-

convinced that their are multiple eyes always watching me idm why and I always draw them for some reason I feel that always watching me especially at nightz their in the wallz and in the my bl00d and my tears, since I was 9 would pretend to have an audience(like I was a YouTuber or smt) and I would talk to the audience but eventually the audience became an imaginary person/personality that I talk/think to(probably cuz I’m lonely) when ever I do something I think smt like, “we need to do blah blah blah.” I can’t stop myself from thinking we instead of I and idk if it’s normal, my eds are cooping mechanism except arfid I’ve that since was two after I choked on a certain food I would always(unintentionally) puke if my parents would try to make me eat a food I didn’t like even at the sight or smell of it so know I always think of certain foodz and meat/eggs/seafood especially w the fear that I’m just gonna puke it so I’m naturally VERY picky for the longest time I would literally only eat angle hair pasta w ketchup idc if u think itz gross it was my safe food rn my main safe food is energy drinks but I can’t have that all the timez, I have social anxiety and used to get panic attacks when I was in crowds it’s a bit better now tho, ive tried to kms before(was gonna hang myselfz) but I managed to stopz myself(it was really hard),  I’m actually quite manipulative when I want 2 be lmao, moody teenager, I have to be awake at night and keep myself distracted so thatz that thoughtz(sui stuff the eyes ect) can’t torment me so I try to stay awake until I’m too tired 2 keepz thinking

I’m am pro recovery I am not pro ana plz just leave me alone on this I’m not fat phobic I try not 2 be but keep in mind I don’t have a conscience, I really don’t care if ur fat I just have bad experiences w them cuz when I first lost weight I would constantly get skinny shamed even tho I was a perfectly healthy weight and it really got to me and contributed to meh ed cuz eventually I started seeing it as praise when people would comment on meh losing weight and now I get really anxious and sui if some doesn’t say I’m skinny tho if they say it in a mean way than I’ll get offended I get that it was out of concern and jealousy but it no one had commented on my body I would probably not have an ed rn and I would’ve watched wut I ate but not in an obsessive way. But seriously I really don’t mind if ur fat just don’t be mean to be about it just cuz I’m skinnier than u. 

Things I really likez-

video games, sleeping, watching YouTube and anime, chainsaw man, solo leveling, insatiable, arcane, death note, future diaries(tho the ending sucked), maduca magica pullea smt(I’m not gonna bother trying to write or even remember the whole name💀u get the jist of it if ya know the anime that I’m talking aboutz), I like cute things w a creepy twist(cutegore), I like cutecore and 2020 e kid fashion(I also like other alternative styles but those are the ones I likez most(pretty sure cutecore isn’t alt but wut ever), drawing, creepy eyes that are alwayz watchingz meh, hello kitty/sanrio, those alt spiky collar/bracelet thingyz, plushies, catz, dress to impress, makeup, dressing up, anime hair, knifes, bl00dz, aspirin, melatonin, bupropion, getting high, cigarettez, ultra monsters(my current fav flavor is the sugar free peach one), my room, cutecore rooms, decorating my room, going to da mall!!, waterrrr, Diet Coke, cucumbers, st4rving myselfz dont ask.

[strawberrypillz0]

I have a question. Like, jirai are landmines and people who are not mentally ill are not jirai, then what about people who ARE mentally ill but are not "landmines", does not have BPD etc? Tbh I don't know how should I label myself, I wouldn't say that I'm "fashion jirai"/just ryousangata, I relate to jirai community in a lot of aspects, but also I don't feel like I fit in the other jirais because they're mentally ill in a different way than me, also rn I'm in a bit better place in my life. Still I'm mentally ill, I consider myself a menhera but I don't feel like I fit in definition of landmine. Am I some weird secret third thing or.... Is it okay to consider myself jirai because I'm mentally ill and relate to the community even tho I don't relate to everything because I'm not literally "landmine" and I'm in a better place in my life and I don't have BPD?? Or would that make me just ryousangata because I'm not mentally ill in a "landmine" way?? Or what... Sorry for sending you this ask

Thank you for asking! I would say that being mentally ill isn't a competition where you need to meet specific criterias - Being mentally ill is valid and should be taken seriously no matter how bad it is, I'm glad you're doing better and people who are not pro recovery are just weirdos I wouldn't care about. Yes, you can def label yourself as a jirai if you can relate to some aspects and into the fashion, if you're struggling with your mental health, even a little bit you can label yourself as jirai.

The reason why I would never put ceratin "criterias" or gatekeep this label is very simple, jirais from outside of Japan can't often relate to jp jirais - most of us can't go to host clubs, work as s3x workers, a lot of gaijin jirais can also get help when it comes to their mental health (not all) - which is the reason why jirai exist in the first place, bc in japan it's very rare and taboo. So If JP jirais don't have anything against us wearing this style when we can't relate to some of their actions (stereotypes) (cuz obv not every jirai is working as a s3x worker or go to host clubs, some of them are just mentally ill girls) why us, gaijin jirais should decide if it's okay for someone to be jirai of not based on how bad their mental health is, if they have bpd or not.

So - as long as you're struggling in any way and relate to some aspects of jirai kei, you're more than welcome to be part of the community, it's not really that deep - if someone is gatekeeping jirai cuz you're "not mentally enough" they are weirdos who want to be better than others cuz of how mentally ill they are, which is overall bad and anti recovery.

(i hope it make sense, cuz eng isnt my first language YY)

[a-silly-alterhuman]

long needed intro post!!!

sooo idk how to make one so ill try!! i am a trans masc/boyflux who is unlabeled and aceflux! if your close/a mutual i am ok with JOKE flirting please do not truly hit on me or signify anything 18+ or nsfw as i am a minor and do not feel comfortale with all that. if you a blog thats primarly nsfw or 18+ you can like and stuff but dont follow preferably! i am a therian, otherkin, funlink, and otherhearted (also a furry) my kintypes go as followed : theriotypes : deer, border collie, german shepherd wolfdog, deer, and pyroraptor!! heartypes : andro selkie, green rose chafer beetle otherkintypes : forest angel/stone angel funlinks : fluttershy and princess luna (both from mlp)

pronouns : he/they/it/xe (and rlly any xenos just nothin fem pref) im an age regressor and a suspected system (osdd-1b and self confirmed waiting on therapist.) i usually call myself a dog boy lol. i love interacting with my mutuals to!! im open to art trades for everyone (no 18+ or nsfw tho) just ask and we can do it! im pretty akward usually tho and have anxiety so its hard for me to keep a conversation! I am hellenic/pagan to! tell me/ask me if u want to know anything else! DNI : pedos, zoos, anti-recovery, pro-israel (i stand with palestine 101%), anti-xenogenders/xenopronouns/neopronouns, rcta, ddlg, ageplay, k!nk, endos (im kinda neutral on yall but i dont like yall), terfs, proship, ableist,transid, and the basics that i forgot!

(ALSO ENDO NEUTRALS YOU CAN STILL INTERACT I DONT MIND JUST PRO ENDOS OR ENDO SYSTEMS DNI!!)

(website is blinkie maker btw!!)

[voidsquidd]

Not what I usually post but I wanna say something

I recently saw a 12 yr old on shedtwt and ik becuz of what this account used to be that I have shedtwt and shedtblr followers on here

(I have never really used shedtwt but post pop up every few months)

If ur that young then pls do not go on places like that

//TW// sh ed / g0re / gr0oming / s1uicide

Ik that u probably wanna find ppl who have similar struggles to u, ik u probably have issues irl that make u wanna do that stuff and u just wanna find a place where ppl are like u, but shedtwt is not that place

Even if ppl on there say they're pro recovery, the fact they're posting stuff promoting it or showing it in a positive way at all is not gonna help anyone recover, they're still glorifying it to other ppl and promoting pro Ana / sh

Shedtwt/shedtblr will do sm damage to ur brain at a young age

While ur that young what u see will have a massive affect on ur brain and what u view as normal. Older ppl on there are way more aware of what they're doing to themselves and, even if u say ur mature for ur age, u will not know what damage ur actually doing to urself by being on there

Seeing ppl promote stuff like sh: how to go deeper, needing to feel valid, wanting to get worse, showing off their gory sh

Seeing ppl promote eds: saying how many cals they eat, showing of thinspo, fat shaming / meanpso, saying it's better to be thin

That stuff is gonna be more likely to stick with u when u start to consume it from a young age like that, eventually it'll be all u really know, you'll have normalized it sm in ur head with out even realising what you've done. Ppl will have constantly been posting about it and u will have constantly been seeing those posts and slowly making ur brain see all that disordered, dangerous behaviour as normal. Sm so that when u try to recover it'll end up being sm harder, becuz ur whole life, all ur believes, all ur habits, ur hobbies, will be base for sh and ed

Ik someone who was active on there from a young age and they struggle to eat normally sometimes, a normal meal feels like a binge to them and they don't actually know what the real definition of that word means, they count normal eating as eating too much, they count normal and healthy bodies as too fat becuz they saw so many dangerously underweight ppl that they can no longer tell what's healthy. They developed such bad body dysmorphia from all the content that they cannot tell the difference between over 10lbs on their body.

They can't understand why sh is bad sometimes, thinking it's not that big of a deal, they romantizise sh and their cuts, saying they like them and that they want more scars, even asking me to help them. They didn't realise it was a massive issue when they went pretty deep, and then refused to go seek medical help when they should've becuz they were used to giving themself cuts that could kill them, becuz ppl on shedtwt go so deep it could kill them but they barely ever seem to mention that, a young person wouldn't realise that would kill them, the person I'm talking about definitely didn't

They also saw lost of gore. Now I'm gonna get into a bit of physical brain psychology rn. So the brain releases dopamine as a positive reward hormone obviously. Watching gore, even tho it's online, will have the same or similar effect of seeing actual bloody, dead bodies and ppl stabbing themself or killing themself irl. They saw lots of that becuz shedtwt had sh vids which led to gore twt. Seeing ppl stab themselves, cut their arm off, jump off buildings etc, would be like seeing it irl. And seeing it irl would be classed as a traumatic event, it causes trauma. Specifically it damages the part of the brain that releases hormones like dopamine, by consuming that content u are physically damaging ur brain sm it can stop letting u feel happy.

This person may have a bad home life, and that may have caused these issues to start, but they wouldn't have known what sh was without shedtwt, or seen tips on how to go deeper on shedtwt

They wouldn't have seen starving tips or those diets, or workout routines without shedtwt

They wouldn't have felt like what they were doing was normal if they hadn't seen sm of it on shedtwt

They wouldn't have found gore without shedtwt

And they wouldn't have met their groomer and called him their bf if they hadn't been on shedtwt

Even now they're not on there, they lost all their hobbies to Ana/mia, they would spend their time doing nothing but watching and reading stuff about sh and eds and that's all their life was. Just cvtting themself, learning tips on how to starve and trying to ignore their cravings. They used to paint, but they stopped. they used to sew, but they stopped. they used to be really strong and have good health, they don't anymore, becuz they worked their body to exhaustion sm trying to get thin. Their brain consumed sm content, it's all they think about most of the time now and they struggle to distract their thoughts. I remember they told me what they were thinking about and I had to tell them they seemed triggered becuz they were so triggered so often it just became their normal mind. They thought about nothing but what to eat on what day, how many cals were in something, about how to cut deeper, where they should cut, how some of their scars would look prettier if they were in different shapes, suicide methods and what would be the best even tho they didn't have any plans. Images of thinspo and gore and sh would flash in their head constantly.

It became so normal to them it was their whole personality and actual normal things were alien concepts to them. I told them what typically normal things were and they were genuinely surprised at how what they did and thought about wasn't normal.

Ik most young ppl on there are wanting ppl to relate to but it will do more damage than good, sometimes it's better to feel like what ur doing is weird or not normal becuz that gives u more motivation to stop, to try and be normal. Seeing it sm will make u think it's normal and fine and make u feel like there's no issue

That person is still recovering and a lot of the stuff they vent about is the gore they saw, or the thinspo they saw, the things they say that get called out for being negative are always things they learnt to normalize from shedtwt

So pls, I say this to anyone but especially younger ppl like that 12 yr old, shedtwt / tblr is not gonna help u with ur mental health, it isn't a place that genuinely encourages recovery even if ppl say they are pro recovery. It's a place that glorifies sh and eds, and there's so many ppl who also just wanna take advantage of u. Someone who wants to help u starve or sh doesn't have ur best interest in mind, someone who wants u to recover and get better and healed is someone who cares about u

My dms are always open ♡

[saccharine-seraphim]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚about me*ੈ✩‧₊˚

hii :3 im frankie! im 17 (18 in april!!) and i use she/they mostly but i dont really mind tbh. just a southwestern girl stuck in the southwest

not new to tumblr or @na, my last account just got termed by the tumblr overlords lol. i speak english and enough spanish to get by but i am by no means fluent, im still learning! always looking for new friends on here, so don’t hesitate to reach out to me!

this is an active @na/m!a vent account but im pro recovery!! this wont be strictly @na/m!a tho, ill post whatever i want to atm, more like a diary than anything else so if you don’t like my posts just block me, dont report pls it does so much more harm than good!

dni, pretty obvious: weird men and bigots. you will be blocked 💖

•┈••✦ stats ✦••┈•

height: 5’0” / 152.4 cm

sw (from mid september relapse): 97.2lbs / 44.1kg

cw: 87.3lbs / 39.6kg

gw1: 85.0 / 38.5 (nearly there !!)

gw2: 75.0 / 34.0

ugw: 70.0 / 31.7

bmi: 17.0

✬ interests ✬

music:

music is kind of my everything; i love all kinds of different genres but my number one is definitely black metal, dsbm specifically! im very picky with it tho.. my all time favorite band EVER is bring me the horizon, right next to fleetwood mac and ethel cain lol.

honorable mentions are paramore, mazzy star, lana del rey, doom mutual, funesto, sade, massive attack, carly simon, slayyyter, cowgirl clue, incubus, chevelle, desolate tapes, tyakrah

movies/tv:

i dont really watch shows unless theyve already ended and i know i can stay interested, but i absolutely adoreee classic films and paranormal horrors!

honorable mentions are vampyr 1932, interview with the vampire, the earrings of madame de…, requiem for a dream, skins uk, the ritual, barbie and the diamond castle, twilight, the witch gilmore girls, the virgin suicides, wuthering heights 1939, the exorcism of emily rose, gossip girl

books:

i love vampire novels and classic romances first and foremost but ill honestly read anything to keep my mind occupied.

honorable mentions are the dune saga, wuthering heights, the twilight saga, the vampire chronicles, gone with the wind, house of leaves

[queer-otherkin]

Warning: syscorse

Uhhh sooo syscorse. Can someone explain it to me?/gq It can be here or on dms.

Questions down below.

(I'm posting it here so I can actually get an answer, because I have a bit of a following here.)

Here are my questions

-why are endos bad?

-why do people hate endos so much?

-how are they mocking systems?

-Am I anti or pro endo? (My beliefs are down bellow)

Background about me:

I've been trying to keep kind of "I don't want to talk about it bc I don't understand it" and trying to remove myself from it immediately.

But I do want to understand it. At the same time, everytime I go to the tags, it's just everyone yelling at each other and I don't understand anything. And I don't want to be yelled at either lol. I'm actually pretty scared to post this.

My beliefs till now:

-Can they exist?

Ok, uh so, I don't think it matters if I think if endos are real or not? Like, it's not my identity, I don't know them. And that's why I want to know if and how they are hurting the DID/OSDD comunity.

-Are they fakers?

I personally believe they're not. But you can think that they're not real and faking all you want, but have some manners. Don't go out invalidating others. You wouldn't do it irl, so don't do it online.(This sounds like I'm mad but I'm not)

"They fake having DID" but they never said that though...?/gq isn't the term "endo" made to differentiate them from disordered systems?

My opinion on them rn:

I've asked around irl a bit, and it turns out a bunch of teenagers don't give out the best concise answers. So the closest I've gotten to an answer is:

They need their own spaces. traumagenic systems want their own spaces and I think that's valid, sure, they can, and should intersect sometimes, but not as much as they do now. That's why I considered myself sort of anti endo until now. Idk if I'm anti endo tho??? What does my belief classify as?

we can't prove if they're real or not, because studies don't really 100% discard the idea of them being real. As far as I understand, they just haven't done research around endos. They don't fit in the research, because the researchers don't think about endos when doing the research.

And I don't think it's really your, or my space to say what someone is or isn't. If someone calls themselves an endo, but are actually a did system, who cares?

"But they need help because they have trauma!!" yeah!! I agree, but even traumagenic beings don't get help sometimes. Endos can be in treatment and still identify as endogenic. Idk, in the end, everyone has their own process and recovery time.

[lyntergalactic]

20 Questions for Writers

i was tagged by the ever lovely @oakashandwillow

1. How many works do you have on AO3? uh... are we counting works i've orphaned over the years? if not, 16 over two accounts.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 41,118

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently, it's all star wars all the time, though there's probably going to be a one piece fic out of me soon. other fandoms i've written for include dragon age, naruto, and stranger things.

the rest of the ?s are under a cut to save space!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(i promise you that) we're marching on | naruto fic, sakura-centric gen

the long and short of it | witcher fic, geralt/eskel, bonus fiberarts

the unexpected series | stranger things fic, steddie, rule 63!steve with surprise baby

quid pro quo | star wars: the clone wars fic, rex/echo, smut

the will to carry on | stranger things fic, abandoned wip, rule 63!steve

5. Do you respond to comments? i try to! i don't always have the spoons for it tho

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? surprisingly, it's not the fic that's all about grief and recovery. it's a star wars drabble, changing of the guard.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? the joke answer is quid pro quo. (because it's smut.) but most of my endings tend to be content or hopeful if not happy, so this is hard to quantify for me.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not as of yet, but given i write cloneshipping i'm honestly just bracing for it to happen at some point

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? indeed i do. i currently only have one smut thing uploaded, so idk if i can say anything for certain about trends, but given my wips... emotional sex and smut as character studies seem to be my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? nope. not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope! thankfully, i've heard horror stories

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i think one that no longer exists was once translated. (i had a sad habit of deleting or orphaning things i was less than pleased with when i was younger. i know better now.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? ahaha yes but none of it i'm going to mention by name. all my co-written fic happened in middle school with IRL friends.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? i'm a filthy multishipper this question is like asking me which of my hairs i like best

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? oh man. definitely the will to carry on and the couple of stranger things wips in my wip file. not that i don't love the stories anymore, but certain parts of the fandom annoyed me right out of any inspiration or desire to touch anything related to said fandom with a twelve foot pole.

16. What are your writing strengths? i like to think i'm good with characterization and dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? writing anything longer than 3k words max lmao though that has been improving lately and i have high hopes for the sev fic getting finished

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? there... there is a whole can of worms here that this question opens for me and i don't think anyone wants my ramble about dialogue, other languages, conlangs, dialects, and the effects of having been in anime fandom for so long so. this is not getting answered other than with a shrug

(unless someone wants the ramble in which case i will happily oblige)

19. First fandom you wrote for? teen titans cartoon when i was a wee thing. it was a self-insert fic that was less than a page in ms word, single spaced :')

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this is such a cop-out answer but i genuinely don't think i can pick a favorite. maybe ordinal, just because i'm still super proud of having finished it and what i did with the characterization at missing scenes? but augh i want to put more here too

i'm tagging @bisexualdinahlance, @bilbosmom-belladonna, @cacodaemonia, aaaaand @cabezadeperro but no pressure if you're not game :> and if anyone wants to do it but isn't tagged /points to eyes /points to u

[tofugotch111]

hello ! ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪.    //     my name is owl ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა     //     【 she / he / they 】

i'm back on tumblr with a new blog from a 2+ year hiatus ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

this is mostly a vent blog- block don’t report </3

I heavily post about both my 3d and recovery from $h, and i am pro-recovery for both (still working on myself tho-)

٩(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ )و ´- .𖥔 ݁ ˖

        ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆ i am a minor so please keep that in mind when interacting ⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

                                                      ₊‧ ⤵⤵ ₊⊹

₊˚⊹⋆ 𝓂𝓎 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈:

ʚ⁺˖↪ i make digital/traditional art, crocheting, collaging, photography, and occasionally poetry ♡

ʚ⁺˖↪ i’ve been a virtual pet collector since 2021, and i currently own 14 tamagotchis ♡

ʚ⁺˖↪ i’m also fond of 2000s tech and i have some digital cameras, ipods, flip phones, etc♡

ʚ⁺˖↪ i am a percussionist at my hs and play vibraphone for this marching season ♡ i do want to play xylophone next year tho!!

ʚ⁺˖↪ i love reptiles and own a crested gecko named stinky tofu ♡ yes he is the inspiration behind my username :)

₊˚⊹⋆ 𝒹𝓃𝒾:

ʚ⁺˖↪ basic dni criteria (iykyk, i will not tolerate any hateful or discriminatory behavior of any kind)

ʚ⁺˖↪ endogenic/endo systems, I will not go out of my way to hate on yall, just pls politely dni.

₊˚⊹⋆ 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓉𝓈:

ʚ⁺˖↪ sw: 125lbs, bmi 22.1

ʚ⁺˖↪ cw: 112lbs, bmi 19.8

ʚ⁺˖↪ gw 1: 110lbs, bmi 19.5

ʚ⁺˖↪ gw 2: 105lbs, bmi 18.6

ʚ⁺˖↪ ugw: 100lbs, bmi 17.7

that’s all!! if we have stuff in common pls pls dm me or send me an ask ₍^ >ヮ<^₎ .ᐟ.ᐟ i need friendssssss ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა ♡

[tyrann0rexic]

about me:

i will talk here about eat_ng d_sorders and it might be triggering for people in recovery.

sw: 75kg :(

ugw: 45kg <3

hw: 75kg..

i started at the 21st december 2023, right after i have been released from the psychward (because of a anxiety disorder). since then i have been eating around 500kcal and lost 2,5kg.

no one knows about my disordered eating habits.

i struggle with b_ng_ng but i am working on getting it under control. i have been purg_ng but try not to feed into that habit atm.

i really appreciate any dm and try to answer as quick as possible. <3

if you want to give me any tips i appreciate that too. =D

i am from germany so i speak german fluid and english since i am 7 (im still making some mistakes tho..)

i am totally pro revovery!!

[antiradqueer]

So I see this blog on rare occasions and I don't interact bc I'm proship. So apologies if I am breaking any DNIs. But I was previously in the radqueer community and I left only two weeks ago. It was fucking disgusting. They are very much anti recovery and anti "no contact paraphiles". It was disgusting because I struggle with impulsive thoughts about the big 3 paraphilias and they were constantly telling me "Oh, it's normal to be pro contact and fuck kids/animals/dead people". I literally went to therapy bc I wanted to kill myself for my thoughts and they were trying to get me to *destroy* my progress. Hell, I was in radqueer discord servers and it was a hellscape. One of them (labeled "Radqueer HQ"/"RQHQ") literally had channels for simping over *real children and animals* and encouraged children to simp for adults. A few others were also very inclusive of transnazis and transharmful identities and would not listen to "cis" Jewish people like myself. It was very hateful and disgusting.

They also would label things as transids when there's so many better ways to explain shit. "Transseverity", " transtrauma", literally almost any "transabled" bs? That's literally based on the ableist idea that you need to be a certain level of disabled to be a "real" disabled person. "Transspecies"? Welcome to being otherkin. Ik that's a stolen term from otherkin and therians, but it's just so associated with them now that it's ruined. "Transrace"? Pretty much just fetishizing a race. The only context I can imagine it is if you're mixed race and only raised as a single race (which was my case), but even then you literally do not need to label it as "transrace". They're just appropriating an actual term for adoptees. Also, transpersonality, translocation, ect is all just bullshit. Literally the only transid I can relate to is transage, but only on the same level as otherkin. Chrosonian is a much better term for this tho.

I still struggle with hating myself for being in that cult. It was genuinely disgusting and turned me into a person I hate. And you know what? It doesn't make me a racist/ableist/conservative asshole for not being okay with it.

-🌌🐱

Ps: I'm rlly drunk at this moment so I have thoughts and anger(tm)

dw the only real dni here is rqs, i just put that there so people dont start asking

yeah i get what you mean, im sorry you had to go through their shit. i hope you can get through it all /gen

[pink-tears]

Hello everyone, I'm Mikan! This account is dedicated to my love of Jesus, my truamas, my life stories and well, my love for Mikan.

This blog will not be for everyone and that's totally OK! I don't expect anyone to particularly enjoy me. That being said I need a pin post haha.

About me!

Alias: Mikan

Age: 21

Zodiac: (I don't believe in them anymore but;) Capricorn

Personality type: INFP-T /INFJ-T

Race: mixed, heavily. African-American, Cherokee, Latin(a), Korean, White. (White passing)

Political standing: center, very slight right. (Not by much tho!

Religion: Roman Catholic Convert (Christian)

Patron St.: St. Mary Magdalen (Jesus' Mother)

Former faiths: Greek Mythos High Priestess (Apollo Devotee), Shia Muslim, Atheist.

Rel. Status: Engaged as of April 23rd '24

DNI will be in my rentry, tho, BYF will be here.

BYF: I will post about my truamas pretty openly here, that does Include very graphic things which I don't want minors to read regardless of your beliefs, children and minors shouldn't be subject to what I went through. That being said, other adults regardless of race, gender identity or faiths are free to read what I write. This will be my journal, an open journal.

I don't post NSFW content, I don't want to see NSFW content, this page isn't child friendly tho! Adults with NSFW accounts and want to follow me, follow me on your alt please.

I'm a proud Christian, that being said I may preach here from time to time. If you don't like that please scroll by or unfollow me that's totally OK! Jesus saved my life and I think that's beautiful. I will praise him here.

I am a Mikan Tsumiki IRL, if you think she'd be uncomfortable by you, I likely will be too! I don't mind kins or other irls as long as their aware it is psychosis and a delusion we are subject to. We are pro-recovery on this page!!

If you make a fetish of Mikan, I will have to ask you to DNI, it's weird. If she were real she would be traumatized by you, be aware of this!!

I am dyslexic, heavily, actually. Typos exist here please don't correct them, trust me I'm aware. Unless we're close, don't correct me!

Lastly, I am a HC-DID system, diagnosed and recovering to reach being a Singlet. I won't discuss my alters here, it makes me uncomfortable being a system isn't fun.

Diagnosed illnesses/etc: HC-DID, BPD, Generalized Anxiety, C-PTSD, Clinical Depression, Anorexia+Bulimia Nervosa, Leg Truama, GERD(still undergoing Diag.)

Working on Diag. From my Dr.: POTS (I may be forgetting some)

(Idc if yall post me on r/cringe, or whatever, I dislike fake systems too and what not. I am not one but still someone may suspect me since, it's the internet)

[myfixationacademia]

Entry number 2 for my series of "my take on the bnha characters or at least some of them", we got Uravity!

As per usual, the headcanons are under read more

- Uraraka's parents had gotten into their situation due to a financial contract they made with a shady person once their company started to take off in popularity, the person in question was none other than Re-Destro, whom scammed the married couple, after his arrest and end of the war, various contracts related to these scams were exposed, including Uraraka's parents', leading to them recovering the money and having a more comfortable life, Ochako never stopped working hard tho, still sending a portion of her earning to her mom and dad so they can save up to enjoy themselves at a restaurant, a beach, or anything of that sort;

- after Ochako gets used to use her quirk for unlimited time, without feeling nauseated, she starts using zero gravity whenever and for any situation, this however has led to her accidentally dropping items from her hands as if she was still under her quirk's effect, leading to her being confused or embarrassed;

- As pro hero, he has a special vehicle for traveling between cities, states, even countries, called the "Air tearer", a powerful jet that can reach huge velocities, made specifically for Uravity as a means of transportation with her quirk in mind, this jet however is mostly not used that often, only In cases of emergency, she wants to save up on gas use;

- her and Toga's relationship bloomed in the war but truly flourish afterwards, The two girls wouldn't waste anytime on acting sweet and lovingly with one another, specially because Ochako is a source of comfort for Toga. However, when absent, Toga would be a real menace to Uraraka's classmates, except for Bakugou, she feels like the two are really similar, although by extension he had to say that Izuku was off limits;

-speaking of him, Ochako confessed to him in the hospital while recovering from her wounds, under the effects of anesthesia, after getting that told by Deku, she apologizes profusely as she intended for that to never be said to him, but he says that he has felt the same, but much like her, it was a misplaced attraction, what others assumed was love, was just admiration and a want to be like the other, but since neither have ever experienced a relationship of that sort, both assumed it was love, however, the recovery period gave them a lot of time to think, and to realize they work better as best friends;

- Uraraka has made various visits to many space stations around Japan, mostly due to wanting to experience the training a astronaut goes through so it could help her with her quirk, not only that, she was later called to assist in said trainings for simulations on zero gravity, also leading to her joining a female only group of researches to a trip to Mars, she ended up getting a mineral they found there after her, the Uravitanion, a rare type of quartz only found on Mars that is gets lighter on earth but heavier on Mars, as well as the property of glowing once someone touches it like a plasma ball.