#so that might be worth checking out as well
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you should do jinx giving reader a tattoo of her name 🙏
That's much better, isn't it?
Tags: possessive, jealousy, manipulation.
You are so active omg, is it because of season 2? I also have to say that this is quite proprietary and reminds me of a Yandere!Jinx.
This is starting to get annoying. Everything was going so well, and now?
Usually, you were always closely connected to each other, not just emotionally. It was so long and constant that it became an unspoken rule of Zaun. You've done many things, from having dinner together to revolution.
But now you've suddenly started going out "on business" too often. How could Jinx not worry?
Jinx followed yours next time. It's only for your safety, of course. A couple of hours, and she saw the root of the problem—the weird girl you were discussing with. A small, about 20 years old. It was annoying that she caught your attention like that. Weird, painful, and absolutely unbearable. It took all of Jinx's strength to contain herself. These meetings continued, and, in fact, there was nothing too close about them. On the contrary, you kept your distance and spoke absolutely calmly. Which could not be said about this girl. She was strangely leaning towards you, constantly fixing her hair and trying to touch you all the time. Jinx was really nervous, waiting for the right moment to ruin everything.
The moment when you give in to her.
This did not happen, and the truth came to light.
Luckily, it was much more prosaic. You were sneaking off to meet a jeweler for a cute hair clip. It was a gift for Jinx for your third anniversary. With all the running around, she forgot about it. How awkward...
"So... this is for me, huh? It's very beautiful," her fingers slid over the chilling metal of the small pin. The shape of the curved cross suited her. She didn't know what kind of metal it was, but it shimmered blue and pink in the light, remaining chillingly black in the shadows. Beautiful.
"Cool, huh? I had to work hard to get this, but... whatever. It was worth it." You seemed happier than Jinx herself, leaning over in front of her as you picked up her right braid and wondered where to put it, "It might not be very practical, but I'm sure it's really cute. Don't worry if it gets lost, okay?"
You finally looked at your girlfriend and understood her mood. She shrank, looking tensely at the floor and picking at her pants with her nails. Stuck in her dark thoughts right now. However, having anticipated your next move, Jinx spoke up: "I have a gift for you too." It suddenly dawned on her; her eyes lit up, and her back straightened. Jinx was ready to flare up with impatience. "M.. yeah? I'm so glad it is. I like it already, trust me," you giggled, sitting down next to Jinx as she grabbed your hands in anticipation. The hairpin would wait on the table for now. "Oh, something unusual," Jinx sat you down with your back to her, stood up, and rushed over to a huge box of art supplies.
You sat quietly, expecting something like a painting or a painted gun. The same one you got last time. Two is better than one!
Jinx will always be unpredictable.
When the noise became more than an explanation, you finally turned around. There was a small table behind you with colorful bottles on it and... a tattoo machine? This can't be.
"Ta-dam!" Jinx sat down on a chair on one side of the table, gesturing for you to sit opposite. "What? Wait, wait, you want to give me a tattoo?" Your voice wavered. You loved Jinx and trusted her in many ways, but let her give you a tattoo? "Oh, come on!" Jinx rolled her eyes, slamming her head down on the table, "You think I can't do it? Don't tell me you didn't check out my tattoos. I got them myself, you know!"
This didn't give you any confidence.
"No, you know... I just don't know what kind of tattoo I want," you turned away, shrugging awkwardly. Jinx chuckled, propping her head up in her hands and licking her lips. "I already decided, toots. What could be cooler than your girlfriend's name, hm?", Her voice sounded confident. So you didn't take it as a joke. However, Jinx didn't let you answer, grabbing your hands and not very carefully sitting you down opposite. "You know, I saw you with that girl... I was worried," she started slowly and from a distance. "You did nothing wrong, and I didn't doubt you. And yet, people are very tricky," she paused, gently taking your hand and looking into your eyes, "So I would like you to have a small tattoo; how about you? I promise it will look stylish." That stumped you for a minute. Yes, you wanted your tattoo, and yes, you love Jinx. But getting one for that reason? "Please," Jinx looked at you with her doe eyes, and that huskiness in her voice was driving you crazy. "Oh, maybe just one, huh? A small one," you chuckled.
Of course, Jinx was manipulating you for what she wanted. In the most childish and stupid way, you just couldn't help but sneer. Was it a double game, and Jinx knew about your understanding from the start? It doesn't matter; She has already started working.
Pink is the most beautiful color, isn't it?
Despite her obviously selfish desire and rather daring start, Jinx did everything carefully. After all, it was your first time doing it, and she couldn't make you feel anything other than excitement and admiration. She was spinning around you, unable to sit still, turning on music, telling all sorts of nonsense, and taking breaks to relax. She just didn't want to make things worse than she probably already did.
It all ended quickly.
"That's much better, isn't it?", Jinx couldn't help but smile as she looked at the fresh tattoo on your skin. "You look your best, as always, toots." You liked it no less; it actually looked sweet. And very possessive. You liked this display of her love; this affection gave you a strange strength.
You smiled as you took her hand and said with a deliberately innocent look, "Okay, now it's your turn."
The problem is that you love her no less.
Still, there is not a word about yandere in the request, so she's just super jealous and possessive. I hope that the person who asked was thinking about something like this 🙌🏻
#arcane x reader#jinx x reader#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader#jinx arcane#jinx x fem!reader#arcane#arcane headcanon#arcane league of legends#arcane netflix
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Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 06
adult content | minors do NOT interact.
⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.
⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending but you still need to support each other for the band.
⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.
It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.
NOAH
Prisons are noisy.
I went through the security check and was ready for the visit, waiting in a room with several tables where emotional family members awaited their loved ones who could walk through that door at any moment. The minutes on the clock with hands, hanging on the wall in front of me, moved with hypnotizing slowness.
Tick. Tock.
It didn’t take long for her to come, hands restrained by handcuffs and wearing an orange jumpsuit. Not very different from her daughter in physical appearance, even though the daughter was much prettier. I saw her neck stretch as she searched the room for someone she knew, and when she spotted me sitting there waving with a small smile, her posture stiffened.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Crystal barked, sitting in a chair across from me. Without any manners, she didn’t even say good morning.
"I found this in a pile of mail and saw you needed a visit." I signaled with the paper between my fingers. Opportunities rarely landed so easily in my lap, but this one was worth thanking the gods for.
"But it wasn’t your visit I asked for! Where is my daughter?"
"Was there a problem with your watch? You’re nine years late to ask if she’s found a place to live!"
"That’s none of your business!"
"Everything concerning her is my business. Don’t be ridiculous!" I said, loosening my tone slightly.
Crystal looked around uneasily. Her nails were dirty with soil, and she looked sweaty—I guessed it was from the prison’s activities. Clearly, the days here weren’t treating her well, judging by her expression and the size of her dark circles.
"How did you end up here?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. "No… wait! Let me guess! This is definitely your idiot boyfriend's fault, isn't it?
"I need to talk to my daughter," she completely ignored my sarcasm and dragged the chair closer to the table.
"Don’t tell me you’re hoping for her help to get out of here?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.
Her silence made it inevitable for me to burst into laughter, shaking my head slowly. Leaning forward, I rested on my elbows on the table to speak as quietly as possible.
"You know when I’ll let you get near her again?" I whispered into her wide eyes. "Do you think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You realized you’re alone, and she might be your only source of money and a ticket out of here. Only for you to then go after that man and keep ranting about her on social media like a lunatic, giving even more material for the people who hate her to make her life a hell!"
It was impossible not to notice the sudden change in her expression. With me, she could show her true face without hesitation. Playing the victim wouldn’t work.
"And what makes you think you have the right to come here and tell me what to do?" she questioned, lifting her chin as if she were in a position to challenge me. "I don’t think we’re that different when you took advantage of my daughter’s open door to keep destroying the little she had left!"
"EVERYTHING THAT FUCKED HER HEAD UP UNTIL NOW IS YOUR FAULT!" I spat, pointing a finger at her. From the corner of my eye, I saw the guard adjust his position as the conversation escalated. "No matter what I did to fix it, you always seemed to be there like a damn shadow to remind her where she came from!"
"I’m sorry if you wasted nine years of your life, boy."
Suddenly, that sentence felt like a shock through a high-voltage wire, and I stood frozen, staring at the apathetic face of the woman in front of me. I couldn’t say for sure if I had wasted nine years of my life while we were together, when I knew nothing but her. No other feelings, no other touch—nothing that didn’t come from her. All because I refused to live something different, something that didn’t include her, even if it meant facing hell every day.
I blinked a few times and clenched my fists before my thoughts could drag me into a place I couldn’t return from now.
"If it’s up to me, you’ll rot in this place, and I’ll do everything to keep her further away from any news about you."
Crystal swallowed hard, her fingers fidgeting nervously, tensing as my presence loomed over her. I leaned down to leave one last message in her ear.
"And I’m sure you’re still in touch with that boyfriend of yours. Don’t forget to tell him he can’t keep running from me forever," I whispered with satisfaction, hiding a little laugh.
Slowly, I straightened up and looked down at her one last time, seeing her as still as a statue, staring blankly at the table. I stepped back gradually and walked toward the exit, dreaming of the moment I’d finally rid myself of that place with its strange smell.
When I arrived at the studio, the band was in their respective spots, rehearsing on their own. Everyone was laughing at something that quickly lost its charm the moment I crossed the door, as if a dark cloud had invaded their colorful world.
Chewing my gum with more intensity, I hardened my expression as soon as I saw Landon sitting on one of the stools, like an audience interacting with the performance on the small stage in the center of the room.
I didn’t miss for a second that his eyes—and his stupid, unfunny jokes—were directed at one single person, who seemed to find joy in even the wind brushing through her hair. I shot him a brief glare that could have pierced his body while the energy drink can in my palm seemed to disappear under my grip. We worked at the same record label. He was the owner's son and the vocalist of some irrelevant band. Naturally, we didn’t get along.
“You’re late, Noah!” The lone feminine voice broke our eye contact, and I turned to join the others. I didn’t bother looking at her directly, but out of the corner of my eye, I watched her adjusting her guitar while he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
More precisely, off her long, tattooed legs, exposed by a short plaid skirt.
“I’ve got a watch,” I replied.
An awful silence filled the room in seconds, and Folio broke it with a casual drumbeat, a habit whenever we traded jabs.
“And you, Landon?” I asked while checking the microphone setup. “Don’t you have anything better to do? I remember booking this space just for my band today.”
“No one complained about me being here before. We’re just hanging out, chatting, man. Don’t tell me you’re gonna cry about it,” he said, smirking. “Ruffilo was giving me a few tips.”
It felt like my face had been plunged into a tub of lava, the heat rising so fiercely in my cheeks. If the mic stand could talk, it would probably beg me to stop gripping it so tightly.
“I don’t see any problem with Landon watching the rehearsal.” Strangely, she seemed overly agreeable today, her sultry tone almost convincing if I weren’t paying attention. Actually, I knew perfectly well why she was acting so liberally—she was high.
“But I do,” I snapped without taking my eyes off him, still lounging in his seat like he owned the place. “We already have enough issues with band members getting distracted, and the last thing I need is a pest hanging around!”
“Buzzkill.”
I caught a whispered insult from afar, followed by their shared laughter, which only fueled my rage.
Jolly and I exchanged glances, and I was sure he was thinking exactly the same thing I was.
“I won’t ask you to leave again!” If my eyes had the power to kill, his body would have been shattered to pieces by now.
“Okay, okay! See you later...” He stood, shoving his hands into his pockets and shrugging in mock surrender. “Oh, Noah, almost forgot—I’m hosting a little party at my place, just something casual with friends. It’d be cool if you came with the rest of the band.”
And who said we were friends?
“See you there!” Folio shouted from the back of the room.
Landon nodded, and just before leaving, I noticed him brush his hand against hers in a slow enough motion for her to take whatever he handed her and tuck it into her pocket. I took a deep breath as the door shut, leaning my head against the microphone stand with my eyes closed while my bandmates silently gestured to one another to start playing.
“It’s too late…” she began, testing the microphone.
“Stop.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked, throwing her hands up.
“You’re doing it wrong.”
“Okay, okay!” Jolly intervened. “It’s fine; we’ll start over.”
The intro of Take Me First started again, and I saw her clear her throat, straightening her posture as she inhaled through her nose and exhaled slowly through her mouth. Even after all these years, she still warmed up incorrectly, yet her voice seemed to defy every logical explanation, getting better every time despite her doing everything wrong.
Every time she opened her mouth and delivered a line, my mind entered some hypnotic state. My body didn’t care about the destination, as long as she was guiding the journey with her characteristic husky, dramatic tone.
“It’s too late…”
“Stop!” I ordered. “Start again.”
“It’s too late…”
“Stop!” I repeated. “You’re still coming in at the wrong time!”
Her lips trembled as she huffed in frustration, and without saying a word, she excused herself, marching across the room to lock herself in the bathroom.
“Have you lost it? She’s coming in at the right time, according to the new intro!” Jolly snapped, impatient. “If you’re going to nitpick, at least point out real mistakes!”
“Jolly’s right, man. Chugging all that energy drink is probably messing with your chakras!” Folio teased, punctuating his words with a playful cymbal crash.
“Folio, where did you even get the idea that energy drinks can do that?” Ruffilo asked, spinning his neck around with a puzzled expression.
“Let’s continue the rehearsal,” I said over my shoulder, watching them exchange glances.
“But she hasn’t come back yet…”
“If it mattered to her, she’d be here. Let’s go!”
Without questioning, they returned to their positions, and the intro started again. I cracked my neck from side to side before leaning into the microphone. During the opening bars, I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to pretend she was in some parallel space where her shadow couldn’t reach me.
But all it took was opening my eyes to collide with reality.
The bathroom door was still shut.
After practice, everyone grabbed their things and left for their destinations.
I have to admit, I felt betrayed, but screw it.
Lying on the couch in the living room, nothing seemed to hold my attention. I couldn’t watch a movie, couldn’t read, or even jot something down in a notebook because even the sound of the pencil scratching the paper annoyed me. I picked up the guitar and placed it on my thigh, hoping silence might serve as inspiration, and on the first chord, my luck had the string snap.
“Shit.”
I sighed, bored, banging my head against the back of the couch. On the floor, there was a pile of crumpled-up balls of paper from all my failed attempts at composing something. My mind was emptier than my stomach.
“I hope your little party is awful, sweetheart,” I murmured sarcastically to myself. Maybe talking to myself was the last stage before fully surrendering to madness.
The light of headlights in the garage caught my attention through the window. Judging by the incessant chatter, it was the guys—they were laughing and coming inside with parallel conversations and an armful of grocery bags. When I came face-to-face with them, I did a mental roll call, frowning when I noticed someone was missing.
“Huh,” I hesitated, crossing my arms and leaning against the couch. “Weren’t you all at the same party?”
“No, we changed our minds and went to the supermarket,” Ruffilo shrugged, lifting the bags. Suddenly, all the smiles disappeared. “She’s not here?”
My feet went numb, and for a moment, I thought I was floating, the ground vanishing beneath them. What pounded in my chest could easily be mistaken for the echo of a drum, grating against my ears. I didn’t fully understand why, but there was an unsettling itch beneath my skin that spread throughout my body, like a thousand needles piercing all at once.
“Shit.”
“Noah, where are you going?” one of them shouted, but I was already out the door and in the car, turning the ignition with the same speed I left the garage.
I was definitely speeding, but my vision felt too blurred on the city’s narrow streets as I swerved past car after car. The tightness in my chest gripped me diagonally, and I used my finger to loosen the collar of my shirt, trying my best to breathe in slowly and stay focused on the road.
Every time I heard a horn, it had the power to jolt me back to reality, preventing my car from crashing into another on the shoulder. The closer I got to the address, the more my agony escalated, and the harder it became to fight against the paralysis threatening my body.
I parked in the first available spot I found. Cars were haphazardly positioned with no room to maneuver, so I had to vault over a few hoods to get through. Loud music and a dense crowd amidst smoke—the party at Landon’s was so packed and noisy it was impossible to hear my own thoughts. Dodging a few girls drinking and bumping into a guy, I ended up with an entire drink spilled over my hoodie.
He was ready to curse me out but paused when he looked up and smiled.
“Noah? Noah Sebastian?” he squinted, double-checking what he was seeing. “Hey man, would you mind taking a picture with me? My sister loves—”
I didn’t wait for him to finish, turning my back on him, breathless, my heart hammering at a wild rhythm. It felt like I was getting closer.
Instinctively, I decided to head upstairs. On my way, I ran into Landon. He was stumbling over his own feet, wearing star-shaped glasses, nearly collapsing onto me. Luckily, I pushed him off just in time, throwing a punch that sent him sprawling onto the floor, creating a circle in the crowd.
Shaking my fist in the air and ignoring the murmurs, I took the stairs two steps at a time. As I reached the hallway, my insides twisted in dread over what I might find. Kicking open the first door, I found a couple—clean. The second door revealed some people passed out. The third was empty, aside from the mess.
That left me with only one option.
At the end of the hall, there was only one white door, which I assumed was a bathroom. I forced the golden doorknob and found it locked. Panic flared through my body. I slammed my shoulder against the wood, breaking through on the second try.
The music became just a distant echo.
And my heart was on the verge of stopping.
It was impossible not to collapse onto the wet floor beside her as soon as I saw her pale, unconscious body with liquid trickling from her lips. Despite my panic and groans of anguish, I forced myself to check her pulse. I abandoned every rule about not touching her again, cradling her in my arms and thrusting my fingers into her mouth to reach her throat. But there was nothing to pull out, and even if there had been, she was too limp to expel it.
“No. No. No. No,” I repeated in desperation, holding my phone to my ear while dialing emergency services. “Stay with me. Keep breathing. Please. Please. Please!”
I had no idea if I was doing the right things, but I was alone and couldn’t think of anything else besides needing her to come back. Her face was so sunken I could see the blue veins stark against her skin. Her well-shaped lips were dry and cracked, contradicting the increasingly shallow breaths escaping her nose.
“Keep breathing. Keep breathing. Keep breathing,” I kept repeating, pressing my lips to her forehead, feeling something wet and salty transfer between us as the hold music played in my ear. “Please, my little storm.”
The music outside drowned out my cries of pain—not physical, though. My body felt numb, like enduring a long episode of cramps. All the pain was internal, dissolving as I watched her grow colder in my arms.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @anarchydomainglory ; @iluvmewwwww75
#bad omens#noah sebastian#bad omens band#bad omens fanfiction#fan fiction#bad omens fic#fanfic#noah sebastian davies#noah sebastian fan fiction#noah sebastian fanfic#noah sebastian smut#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfiction#noah sebastian bad omens#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian davis#bad omens fanfic#bad omens fan fic#smut fan fiction#fanfic writing#fan fic writing#smut
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When I was nine years old, my grandfather died.
He was a life long smoker, and lung cancer got him. He died slowly in a hospital bed that had been brought into their house, and we made the trip so South Dakota as a family to watch him die.
He couldn't move on his own. He was weak and wasting away, and they needed to periodically turn him so he wouldn't get bed sores. I had never heard of bed sores before that, and I was scared of them, of the mere concept that someone could be so immobilized that their body would start to ache. His skin was thin and translucent, showing every liver spot and wrinkle in bold, and his eyes were sunken in. There was a smell of death and disinfectant in the house, warring for my nostrils.
My parents were going through a divorce at the time, so my dad wasn't with us. My grandfather, on his deathbed, told me that he wanted me to change my last name to be my mother's. It was important to him. He was leaning forward, using his limited strength to be emphatic, dry mouth forming the words.
It's kind of a fucked up deathbed request. I didn't end up doing it, mostly because I was nine, and as I grew older I started to resent the request, which had sat very heavy with me when I was little.
His sons built his coffin in the driveway. My grandfather was a woodworker, among other things, and it was their way of honoring him, but they also argued during the course of the building, and I didn't like the sounds of the power tools or the nails being driven in. It was a very plain coffin, I remember, and I always wondered where the idea to make it using his tools, in the driveway had come from. Symbolically, I guess there's something there, building the vessel of death, but at the time it just felt really off-putting and morbid.
My aunt was a doctor, and she was doing most of the work of taking care of him, helping to rotate his body, double-checking the medications, making sure that he was as comfortable as he could be.
But my grandfather made her a deathbed request to her too, and it was that she kill him. That's a lot to ask from your own child, and moreso because she could have lost her ability to practice medicine if anyone found out, but I also thought ... I don't know, that someone else should have done it? He was in pain, and not always lucid, but he'd made his request, and we were all waiting on him to die.
And so I thought, at nine years old, that I would do it, find some way to grant at least that wish, to end his suffering.
I didn't end up doing that either, because I was little.
I didn't know my grandfather all that well, because he died when I was young. We built a wooden toy together when I was seven, before he'd gotten so sick, and he gave me some wood carving tools that I never used. He had been a farmer before he lost the farm, and losing that farm was one of those things that echoed through my mom's childhood, but I don't remember him ever talking about it. He was a conscientious objector in World War II, because he was a Mennonite, but unlike my other grandfather, I don't remember him every telling me any stories about it.
I think overall it's good to let kids know that people die, to not shield them from it completely, but I don't think I endorse putting a child that close to death, not for so much time, or at least not a child like me.
(If you've read some of my fiction, you might recognize this as a very similar to something Juniper says in Worth the Candle, and yes, that part of the book, like many others, is roughly autobiographical.)
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I love your posts and I read a lot of poetry, do you have any recommendations? Like anthologies, authors, etc?
Hi!! Yes!! Of course!!
If you read a lot of poetry and are on Tumblr I'm assuming you've already read Louise Glück, Richard Siken, Jack Gilbert, Danez Smith, Kaveh Akbar, Ada Limón, Anne Carson and Mary Oliver. There's a lot of their poems circulating on here, so I'll try to rec poets I've not seen as much of.
In no particular order:
NOBEL PRIZE WINNER Carl Philips, Then the War: And Selected Poems, 2007-2020
Anne Michaels, Fugitive Pieces
Ilya Kaminsky, Deaf Republic
Paige Lewis, Space Struck
Wisława Szymborska, Monologue of a Dog
Hanif Abdurraqib, A Little Devil in America
Craig Santos Perez, Habitat Threshold
I've also really loved Anna Akhmatova's poems, but haven't read a full collection of hers. I'd recommend reading The Ecco Anthology of International Poetry edited by Ilya Kaminsky & Susan Harris, which features some of her work.
If you're just looking for a good way to discover poets you might like, check out the various collections posted by the editors on poetryfoundation.org. I like this one in particular.
And finally, not a poet, but one of my all time favourite theorists and a speech I keep coming back to: Judith Butler's talk on rage and grief. It's only about 10 minutes long and it might just be my favourite thing in the whole entire world.
#yes I linked a poem I like for each poet#its just#WORDS!!!#I LIKE EM#IM NORMAL ABOUT EM#thanks for asking#a lot of the stuff I read is a little bit older and often already fair well known so if you're looking for hidden gems you might have to as#someone who's more up to date on this stuff#Ilya Kaminsky and Kaveh Akbar both have a few interviews were they talk to and or about poets they like#so that might be worth checking out as well#okay im done now promise#it speaks#hockey poems
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And I’ll get you yet
I’ve got to make you mine
Just know I’m not the sinister type
Click for better quality
Check my pinned post to see links on how you can help the people in Palestine
#we happy few#whf#nick lightbearer#norbert pickles#uncle jack#jack worthing#foggy jack#lightfog#tw blood#mcart#you know how it is combining idkhow with we happy few#I’m being so effing serious this might be the craziest pieces I’ve done like ever#well okay the very first jack worthing art piece I did was wild#go check it if you haven’t seen it#and the one with the major perspective with jack worthing was also crazy cause#I haven’t done background and perspective in a long time#but this was just crazy with how long the lineart took and the amount of layers this had#also the material too cause like I’ve never drawn something like this in terms of content wise#idk what it is with whf but it’s making me want to branch out with my art in a variety of ways#anyway uhhh yeah hope you enjoy hope it shows in the tag and that the tw doesn’t make it not show up#happened to the first jack worthing fanart I made but it also had other tw#check that art piece out I’m proud of it you’ll know it when you see it it’s the very first thing I posted in the#we happy few tag just scroll through the tag in my blog#Spotify
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Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."
#my characters#ya know since i draw daily idk if ill do any challenges this month#i know theres a LOT of them out there but i might hold off and do huevember as a challenge and let this month just be chill#for what its worth he only asks for a female body because his baby brother (like 10 years younger than him)#commented ONE TIME ugh its so weird to have you dote on me like this#why couldnt you have been an older sister or look less suspicious#so when sent to help his brother hes like RIGHT GOT IT GIRL TIME LIKE THE MOST LOGIC COURSE OF ACTION#then does a really good job at helping the hero and then gets abducted by the demon army and#as rey keeps challenging the demons checking on him in the dungeon (who are all very kind?) to just interrogate him already#and they just ask why would they do that? they just wanted her outta the way for a bit#cause they dont actually want to hurt anyone and then the demon lord keeps personally visiting rey and continues#to point out how she gives him a headache and how the core is different than the shell#and so then he offers to revert rey back to his original form and reynold immediately accepts#and so now hes just a guy again surrounded by v nice demons#and hes like please just be mean ive been trained to handle violence you have to stop being nice#im not used to nice ok you have to be mean or else im going to develop stockholm syndrome#and the demons are just ?? we dont .... dont know.... what that is.......... what.....#then he gets engaged to the demon lord and all is well ! he becomes the trophy husband to the demon lord#and the world is saved (it was never at risk)#i have a lot of love for the idiots in this plot#because reynold and sascha are literal husbands thinking oh no my beloved husband is only married out of convenience to meeee#and solei is the goddess who recruited him and is so mad that reynold is more of a gremlin than sascha#like why is this mere mortal somehow worse than THE DEMON LORD how in the world#and reynold runs around just adopting all of the demon army and is like yeah#ill be the trophy husband with a hundred kids and a hot 7ft tall demon husband who can change into a huge dragon#and hes really content in this role!#but for a while he does appear as rey and hates how much of a highlighter he is
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pacing back and forth in front of my laptop like a caged tiger debating on making an amazon account
#on one hand: god no fuck no ive held out this long#on the other hand: i need very specific things that stores usually only sell online#and the nearest stores that Might have them are over an hour away and that takes so much fucking gas which is Expensive#not anywhere near worth it for a maybe#like. im. im stuck in a corner#absolutely unprompted#i dont want to contribute to amazon but there are things i cant get otherwise ive Checked the other online stores that would have them#and it can have lower prices and Sales...#fuck. well im contributing to late stage capitalism merely by living in the usa so might as well#i will use it as little as possible. i swear this to myself#i will only use it when im sure that there are no other options#THE DAY'S WHIMSY IS FADING RAPIDLY!!!!#i am no longer sipping at this tasty beer like someone Indulging#i am taking Swigs like someone trying to forget#it really is delicious tho. very bready and not too bitter <3
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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I've never been so annoyed and sick of a character than I have of Astarion.
The fact Wyll and Karlach's stories are going to be left on a cliffhanger forever makes me legitimately angry.
But Larian keeps catering to the fans of the least interesting character of the whole group? *scoff*
Okay but consider this:
They are very loud!!!
Didn't think of that, did ya?
#also i think it should be mentioned that astarion seems to be by far the most popular character among larian themselves??#so that might be something worth considering as well#if they're maybe using the minority of the fandom to justify putting more time and effort into him that way#obviously i'm talking out of my ass!!! i am UNINFORMED#but like. it would check out. considering ...#larian critical#bg3 fandom critical
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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if you are 1) currently in a university where your student healthcare covers hormone therapy, and 2) in a good financial, emotional, and social position to start hormone therapy, i would recommend pursuing it. because in my experience, it's a huge pain in the ass to get an endocrinologist once you're on your own
#unless you live near a planned parenthood or another equivalent to that#but in general you might as well take advantage of the mandatory student health insurance while you have it#it's also cheaper than you might expect. my vials cost $40 CAD for 4 months and then the injection materials are like a couple dollars each#for me i got a therapist with the university and asked them to recommend me to one of the uni's doctors#so i got to skip some of the waitlisting process yay#and then even after getting access to hormones i went to the clinic maybe 5 or 6 times because i needed a nurse to help me with injections#all of which was 'free' because it was with the university#now that i'm graduated though i need to find a new endocrinologist and it turns out the process is WAY more complicated on your own 🤡#of course your mileage may vary depending on how based your school is but it's definitely worth checking imo 🤷#beepbeep.txt#wanted to say this because i basically didn't use the uni health services until my last year and i was like 'wow#'i'm actually getting so much shit for free right now'#like i was seeing a therapist and a dietician and the endocrinologist and a nurse simultaneously at one point#and i might've missed out on all that if i didn't have someone tell me how easy it was to get help if you ask the right questions#so there's my word of wisdom for anyone who might benefit from it.......#also going to post tips about injections later because i think that would also help people out 👍
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I already bought christmas presents for 3/5 of the members of my immediate family this year. Let's GO!
#i'm not usually a 'plan out presents two months in advance' person because i'm a 'GUYS CHECK OUT WHAT I GOT YOU' person#but i wanted to try out jinkies glasses cloths and it was buy 4 get 1 free and free shipping over $25#and since i wanted to get one for my little bro too it would've been $13 not counting shipping which would've been close to $5#so spending an extra seven dollars to get five cloths for $25 was WORTH IT#mine's a donut and skyguy's (which i did give to him asap bc he's bad at keeping his glasses clean) is a used paper plate#and i got my mom the ball of yarn and my older brother the banana peel and my dad the hawaiian shirt and i'm so excited for them to see the#i'll probably do jinkies for my grandparents as well because all of them wear glasses and these cloths work pretty effectively and are#wonderfully wacky and not too expensive#and i might get another one for myself too!#anyways that just leaves skyguy and my sister to buy christmas presents for but that shouldn't be TOO hard#skyguy has always been easy to shop for because we're in the same fandoms so i always know what stuff he'd like#as for my older sister i genuinely have no idea what to get her but i'm sure i'll think of something!#anyways this has been my ramble#kazzy's diary#kazzy overshares in the tags
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i was talking to my friends abt this earlier today and while i'm still p mad abt how things worked out w the government job program it's also kind of funny if you think abt it. i sent in a resume and never heard from them again. not to confirm that they got my resume, not to offer me any interview or job whatsoever, not to tell me they're sorry but they couldn't find anything for me, just total radio silence, and because it's been a month i just kind of have to assume i didn't get selected for anything. i got ghosted by the fuckin government
#might as well have lit it on fire for all it was worth#i am still mad abt it. how are you as The Government going to decide you cant find one job im worth having around for#and not even give enough of a fuck to tell me that. not even to copy me on an automated mass reply to reject my application#and then they whine abt how they cant keep young people from leaving the province. i fucking wonder why#but you gotta laugh sometimes man#levi.txt#i am honestly very sad that the publishing company internship didnt work out. i was so hoping for that#i really thought i was a perfect candidate and it would have been a way for me to actually use my degree#but its fine i have to be over it#they also couldnt be assed to write me a rejection email :) almost nobody has#im fuckin sick of job hunting man. i genuinely want to work so bad. just give me something#i dont even need above min wage or a career™️ w lots of opportunities for advancement#i would LOVE to work at the bookstore but theyre never hiring#when i say theres nothing there is Nothing. im on 5 different websites that i check daily and there is fucking nothing
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world's normalest guy spends $100 on nendoroid parts
#txt#tbd#i triple checked and still messed up the neck peg part of the order AGAIN LOL so ill have to tell em its fine#its birthday money so its fine . .. i need more projects#i bought two projects worth of parts this time :3#so i will space it out and have a good whiles worth of work to do! and then i will have two more little guys!#i have potentially three more after that to make but#im hopingggg for a specific part to come in stock#before ordering for any of those#alsooo i might need to restock materials after this batch#i might even need more colors of paint for this but we'll see what i can mox#mix *#id also like to make custom stands for them!#i have an official nendo now !! thanks to my bf :3 so i have the real thing to reference if i do make some#im so !! i love working on these#and itd be fun to have a whole array of my oc figures in the Real#i actually found hairs that work shockingly well for my othrr 2 characters which like#have strange haircuts to find so i was surprised#the hair thatd be perfect for one of the other three characters is out of stock .. i havent found any others like it#ANYWAY#ineed to get one of these fucking jobs to hire me so i can spend my paychecks on the hobby instead pff#but birthday money is fine#yay yay#love u guys !!
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can I just. shriek. over the way smoothies are marketed so strongly as for weight loss and how oh no we should not put one (1) gram of sugar in it because we MiGhT gEt FaT because I'm just. I'm here looking this stuff up as a way to trick my silly little brain into eating more. I do not need this to be any harder than it already is
#personal#catkin rambles#smoothies#i am very angry actually. well. more just tired. so tired.#the diet industry should go die in a hole#so should using underweight models#and photoshop to make them look unrealistic#and beauty expectations#and diet culture in general#just. no#not all of us need to lose weight! and the ones of us who specifically don't are more likely to have a reason for it i think#and that would be a reason that would be made worse by seeing all this stuff#sometimes i wonder if it's even worth fighting#it would be so much easier to just give up and let things happen as they may#i might try this intuitive eating thing#see how it goes for a bit#it will not hurt me if i *do* lose a bit of weight having significantly overeaten in the last week#idk im just worn out with all of this#i have blender. check. i have large cup with straw. check. i have ingredients#but gee whiz article about what you shouldn't put in smoothies thanks for killing my vague intention to eat today#(well. intention to try smoothie anyway)#16% mortality rate they say
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Come back as a flower, spring Baby
Tala took it pretty hard. Makes sense
Hopefully, anyway. Live food that has the opportunity to hide can be hard to keep track of, so it’s possible they were stressed too... But at least that would be something familiar, not a big scary shadow to run away from
Even selfish, childish thoughts deserve a place to be recognized. There’s no utility in piling shame on top of grief
It felt really strange to logically know that they were gone but still believing so hard that I could somehow undo it, that they’d start moving again if I just did the right thing. Death really does strange things to the brain
#Doodles#Spider#Nhandu Chromatus#Tala#Vent#TW animal death#I haven't had a pet all of my own since I was very small - about Tala's age - and this was the first one that I was 100% responsible for#Bought and fed and cleaned and made their enclosure - everything mine for the first time#So it's also the hardest I've ever taken a pet death - at least in the past two decades so it might as well be forever haha#I was blaming myself pretty hard the day I found them - I'd been away for a couple days and when I finally checked they were gone#Gave me the kind of vibe of someone who's so alone that no one finds their body until [x reason] - as if no one cared enough to look#But mostly I felt bad because it looked like they had attempted a molt but hadn't even flipped over#Like they'd just given up - like they knew that it wasn't even worth putting in the effort#I think now that I've looked it up I know what happened - spiders get a lot of their fluid intake from their prey#And because they'd been in premolt they'd been refusing food - and while I spritz their enclosure it's not a very reliable water source#I'd been wanting to wait until they were a bit bigger before I put in a water dish because I was very paranoid about them drowning#I'd heard horror stories of people waking up to their Ts submerged as if they'd fallen in and couldn't pull themselves back out#I hadn't considered that the opposite was even a possibility - that was my mistake and I feel guilty about it#But it is at least the minorest of comforts to know it wasn't a lack of space to molt - maybe - that killed them#I still want to ask seasoned spider people but it hurts to think about telling them what happened#It didn't feel real at first. It took a while for it to sink in and the entire time I just kept waiting for them to move again#I really didn't want the first time holding them to be to bury them#I could think selfishly and hope that they were a male after all - that they wouldn't've had very long#But they should've been here for years#I really wanted to do better by them#In some ways it feels silly to cry so much over a spider haha but I really wanted to do right by them and to not be able to...
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