#and the world is saved (it was never at risk)

[richincolor]

There is a wealth of fantasy books out in September and October, and here's a roundup of some I thought looked fun. Which ones are on your TBR list?

The Ancient's Game by Loni Crittenden HarperCollins

Alchemy and ancient spirits come to life in this debut fantasy inspired by African diasporic folklore and the 1920s World Fair, wherein sixteen-year-old Kellan DuCuivre, an orphan from a reviled class, must compete for a coveted apprenticeship among the nation’s elite in order to save her adoptive father from a twisted fate. Sixteen-year-old Kellan DuCuivre is the descendant of traitors. She never knew her family members or which one of them betrayed the isle of Nanseau. But like all Du orphaned after the war, Kellan is forbidden by law from practicing makecraft, the trade of carving magic into metal that was perfected by the Guild of Engineers and their maker apprentices. No one can know that Kellan has been using makecraft in secret and that, in the wake of a tragic miscarve, she’s been helping her adoptive father, Edgar, run his celebrated makeshop. But Edgar’s condition is worsening, and his shop is on the brink of ruin. On the eve of the Eighty-Fourth Annual Makers’ Exposition in Nanseau’s sparkling city of Riz, Kellan is thrust into the Guild’s twisted web of political intrigue and ancient secrets when she strikes a dangerous deal with one of its members to save Edgar and his shop. Now Kellan must compete in a rigorous gauntlet against the nation’s elite for a coveted spot as a maker’s apprentice. But danger lurks at every turn. And as Kellan falls into a budding relationship with the illegitimate son from one of Nanseau’s most revered families, she’s put into the limelight when something sinister begins targeting the Gauntlet’s competitors and wreaking havoc on Riz. Amid a crumbling city and a ticking clock, winning the Gauntlet won’t just be a test of survival—it will mean pulling back the veil of secrets behind the Guild and uncovering the shrouded legacies of Nanseau itself.

For She is Wrath by Emily Varga Wednesday Books

A sweeping, Pakistani romantic fantasy retelling of The Count of Monte Cristo, where one girl seeks revenge against those who betrayed her—including the boy she used to love. Three hundred and sixty-four days. Framed for a crime she didn't commit, Dania counts down her days in prison until she can exact revenge on Mazin, the boy responsible for her downfall, the boy she once loved—and still can't forget. When she discovers a fellow prisoner may have the key to exacting that vengeance--a stolen djinn treasure--they execute a daring escape together and search for the hidden treasure. Armed with dark magic and a new identity, Dania enacts a plan to bring down those who betrayed her and her family, even though Mazin stands in her way. But seeking revenge becomes a complicated game of cat and mouse, especially when an undeniable fire still burns between them, and the power to destroy her enemies has a price. As Dania falls deeper into her web of traps and lies, she risks losing her humanity to her fight for vengeance--and her heart to the only boy she's ever loved.

Immortal Dark (Immortal Dark Trilogy #1) by Tigest Girma Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

The Cruel Prince meets Ninth House in this dangerously romantic dark academia fantasy, where a lost heiress must infiltrate an arcane society and live with the vampire she suspects killed her family and kidnapped her sister. It began long before my time, but something has always hunted our family. Orphaned heiress Kidan Adane grew up far from the arcane society she was born into, where human bloodlines gain power through vampire companionship. When her sister, June, disappears, Kidan is convinced a vampire stole her—the very vampire bound to their family, the cruel yet captivating Susenyos Sagad. To find June, Kidan must infiltrate the elite Uxlay University—where students study to ensure peaceful coexistence between humans and vampires and inherit their family legacies. Kidan must survive living with Susenyos—even as he does everything he can to drive her away. It doesn’t matter that Susenyos’s wickedness speaks to Kidan’s own violent nature and tempts her to surrender to a life of darkness. She must find her sister and kill Susenyos at all costs. When a murder mirroring June’s disappearance shakes Uxlay, Kidan sinks further into the ruthless underworld of vampires, risking her very soul. There she discovers a centuries-old threat—and June could be at the center of it. To save her sister, Kidan must bring Uxlay to its knees and either break free from the horrors of her own actions or embrace the dark entanglements of love—and the blood it requires.

Inferno's Heir by Tiffany Wang Bindery Books

Fearing for her life, an outcast princess joins the rebellion against her own kingdom and family. . . but when playing with fire, someone always gets burned. Teia Carthan abandoned her morals long ago, and now there’s nothing she won’t do to stay alive. So far she has survived her parents’ deaths, the ire of the Council, and innumerable attempts on her life, orchestrated by Jura, her half brother and soon-to-be king of Erisia. Teia’s rare control over two elements marks her as both an outsider and a formidable opponent—but once Jura is crowned king, there will be no way to survive him. Not for Teia, not for anyone. When Jura moves to crush the rebellion that seeks to overthrow the monarchy, Teia sees one last opportunity to ensure her own safety. She can infiltrate the rebels, locate their base . . . and betray them to Jura, trading their lives for her own. Yet when Teia meets the rebels, she gets far more than she bargained for. And when she gains not only their trust but their friendship, she begins to have doubts. Perhaps the rebels are right. Perhaps the Golden Palace should be torn down and the monarchy destroyed. But then again—what if there is another possibility? What if Teia were on the throne instead?

Legend of the White Snake by Sher Lee Quill Tree

A snake spirit transforms into a boy and must hide his true identity after falling for a headstrong prince in this lush, romantic retelling of the traditional Chinese folktale. When Prince Xian was a boy, a white snake bit his mother and condemned her to a slow, painful death. The only known cure is an elusive spirit pearl—or an antidote created from the rare white snake itself. Desperate and determined, Xian travels to the city of Changle, where an oracle predicted he would find and capture a white snake. Seven years ago, Zhen, a white snake in the West Lake, consumed a coveted spirit pearl, which gave him special powers—including the ability to change into human form. In Changle, Xian encounters an enigmatic but beautiful stable boy named Zhen. The two are immediately drawn to each other, but Zhen soon realizes that he is the white snake Xian is hunting. As their feelings grow deeper, will the truth about Zhen’s identity tear them apart?

Spells to Forget Us by Aislinn Brophy G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers

Fate brought them together. Magic made them strangers. Luna is a powerful witch. Known for her skills and feared for her temper, she’s set to preserve her family’s legacy by becoming the head of Boston’s Witch Council—a job she does not want. Aoife is a non-magical girl. Raised under the lens of her influencer family, she’s grown up in the public eye. Now she yearns for privacy—but knows her parents won’t oblige. Just when they are at their lowest, Aoife and Luna find each other and start dating. As decreed by magic law, Luna casts a spell that will erase Aoife’s memories of their history together if they ever break up. But when Aoife and Luna end things, it’s both of them who forget . . . that is, until they meet again, fall for each other, and recover all the memories of their last attempt at dating. So begins the story of two star-crossed lovers who keep finding their way into each other’s orbits, even as the universe pulls them apart. When they set out to break the cycle, will they be strangers forever or together at last?

Till the Last Beat of My Heart by Louangie Bou-Montes HarperCollins

When you grow up in a funeral home, death is just another part of life. But for sixteen-year-old Jaxon Santiago-Noble, it’s also part of his family’s legacy. Most dead bodies in the town of Jacob’s Barrow wind up at Jaxon’s house; his mom is the local mortician, after all. He doesn’t usually pay them much mind, but when Christian Reyes is brought in after a car accident, Jaxon’s world is turned upside down. There are a lot of things Jaxon wishes he could have said to his once best friend and first crush. When he accidentally resurrects Christian, Jaxon might finally have that chance. But the more he learns about his newfound necromancy, the more he grasps that Christian’s running on borrowed time—and it's almost out. As he navigates dark, mysterious magics and family secrets, Jaxon realizes that stepping into an inherited power may also mean opening up old family wounds if he wants to keep the boy he may be falling for alive for good.

[solivagantingrebel]

Thinking about how... Ghost never felt wanted, appreciated or loved in his childhood home, about how he did his best to run away from those memories; erased them, removed himself and the people from the place, and kept his distance until it was refurbished. It was different by the time his brother inherited it, the colours were different, the furniture was different and some of the rooms were renovated to be indistinguishable from before.

Ghost's life was different too, he made sure of it.

There were moments, when he visited, where if he stood for a second longer, closed his eyes briefly — even for a breath —, he'd feel the familiarity of his past creeping in, haunting him. He'd remember how he couldn't relax in the living room, or in the hallways, or anywhere he wasn't allowed to close the door of, always anticipating those heavy footsteps and that terrible, sneering scoff before his days got worse in ways he couldn't anticipate. Blood, tears and sweat leaving scars underneath his skin, ones he could only fool himself to hide.

He felt a sense of dread whenever he visited — slept over —, remembering the moments in the kitchen when he went for a glass of water whenever he couldn't sleep, like his mother was right there with him, hunched over with whatever she could get her hands on, tears streaming and ignorant to the world until Ghost softly asked if she was alright. She'd have an awful, dead look in her eyes, any hope and light devoid before she properly focused on him, shaking her head and telling him to go back to bed.

He'd get himself the glass and feel the heavy weight of her gaze on the back of his head, and by the end of it, she would tuck him in; some semblance of normalcy lending itself so that he could go back to sleep. He still felt her gaze, sometimes, never realising that he might've saved his mother more than once by unintentionally waking up late until it was too late. His mum wasn't perfect, no one could be in their situation, but he could never fully blame her for what they all suffered.

It should've been something, seeing Johnny walk so freely through the house, following him like a lost dog would. His steps were Ghost's, a beacon for his wayward soul. Johnny didn't know the table he was leaning against was where he used to hide his brother when it got worse. The dining table was different back then, but the house was a witness to all those fights, its walls always large and silent to their protests. He didn't know how his father got away with it for so long. His memories were a mess, remembering only the worst of it while shrouding the rest — days, weeks, months and years melting into this concoction of experiences, never to see the light of day again.

Johnny didn't have it great either, he'd speak of his cousin, more highly than his mum and dad, leaving vague comments about disapproval and rejection and frustration and Ghost would nod along, because he understood. Parts of it, anyway, and while he might've not faced the same issues, he knew how it felt to be distanced from family to the point you'd have to drag yourself on your hands and knees to make sense of it. There wasn't a shot to down in the vicinity, nor a smoke to share, so Ghost settled for the next best thing; drowning himself in those ocean eyes completely fixated on him. It didn't matter what came out of his Sergeant's mouth, every word poured out of those pretty lips numbed the reopened wounds in his chest.

When Ghost cornered him against that table to kiss him, he didn't pull away. He rarely does, even in the moments he couldn't anticipate it, quick to melt once he knew it was Ghost and eager all the same.

"I'm gonna sell it," he says when they pull away.

The statement confuses Johnny - a sentiment Ghost shares for a second, before he realises why it was necessary.

"Ghost."

"I can't risk it."

I can't risk the same story repeating for us.

I can't risk losing more.

Ghost exhales, loud and ragged.

I can't risk losing you, he doesn't say. Instead, the silence fills the space in-between, the confession buried from the tip of his tongue down to the rotting confines of his heart. Johnny gets it. In his infinite patience for Ghost, he looks like he understands, and the familiar scrunch of his brows ease away as he nods and steps closer.

The touch on Ghost's waist is grounding, a silent, gentle permission for more, and he lets him. Johnny hugs him like he is trying to melt into him, share the warmth that overflows from his heart to fill Ghost's empty husk-like chest. He hugs him like there is nothing he'd rather be doing, seemingly content on standing there, holding him for hours on end if he needed to.

"Johnny."

Everything falls into place like it was always meant to. The torment of a life spent wanting, wishing and begging for more, quenched through the existence of one man alone.

"We'll get it sorted, Simon."

Ghost rarely believes in reassurances, promises that can't hold up in the face of a cruel, uncertain future, but he wants to try. If not for himself - he wants to try for Johnny.

"We always do."

He supposed they did.

As long as Johnny is willing to stay by his side, everything will be alright.

[lunadove]

New Theory: Agatha didn’t give her son up for the Darkhold. She got the Darkhold in an attempt to keep her son from dying.

Her son was deathly ill, so Agatha walked the Witches’ Road to obtain the Darkhold. Her coven walked the road too, and died. There were times when she could have tried to save them, but she didn’t try bc she couldn’t risk her life. She was her son’s only hope.

She asked for the Darkhold, assuming it could give her enough power to conquer death itself.

Except the Darkhold didn’t give her enough power to save her son. Bc there’s not enough power or wealth or strength in the world to stop death. It eventually comes for everyone.

Watching her coven die with betrayal in their eyes as she stood by devastated Agatha. Watching her son die and realizing her coven’s deaths was for nothing tore her open. But it was the thought that she could have asked the road for her son’s health, rather than the Darkhold, that broke her. She had honestly thought the Darkhold would cure him, but she thought it would give her enormous power too. Killing two birds with one stone.

Agatha swore she’d never again be that begging, screaming, crying person that she became when death took her son. The fact that she was truly helpless against death, despite all her power, made her vow to never form bonds with anyone again.

[brunossan]

About Syir, from Pokemadhouse

TW: Mentions of R4pe and Abu53

If you follow me for a while, must have seen my Pokemadhouse rage about Syir The Gardevoir.

But unfortunally i never explained WHY i hate her so much and why my blood boils when i talk about her.

So, here is the big explanation, in topics.

1-So, who is Syir and what did she do?

Syir is a character from Poke Madhouse, a now deleted pokemon comic made by Lily and Mikaila Orchard that talks about a pokemon world and the lives of their ocs and their pokemon in a house.

In this world Gardevoirs are the most dangerous and powerful species of pokemon, and Syir is a Female Gardevoir whose trainer is nothless than Diantha, The Kalos Champion.

And not only that, she and Diantha are implied on being in a relationship, wich in Poke Madhouse world is seen as the worst crime a person can do, even if its consensual. Gardevoirs are the biggest victims in this, as Lily even said People call them "The Waifu Pokemon", and doesnt help they do a thing called Mating Bond, where they use their psych powers to fuse their lives together.

And in this case, if you think they have a very good relationship...

ITS NOT WHAT HAPPENS HERE.

Diantha in the comics is coerced by her Gardevoir into sexual relationships, even using her psych powers to rape her. And she cant escape or cut the bond, as Syir use it to control and track her, like a leash. Also, Syir kills anyone who discovers about the True nature of their relationship, and its implied in some comics that everyone knows the nature of their relationship but dont do anything in fear of getting killed next.

2-Why no one tried to stop her?

A thing from Poke Madhouse is that Gardevoirs are in risk of extinction and have very short lifespans because of excessive breeding to get perfect Gardevoirs and shinies (Basically Lily dissing People who do this). So they are an endangered species. Also, this was Lily decision, without any reason besides "why not?"

There were at least 3 People who gave reasonable plans to defeat her. Poison, Guns, attack with pokemons with type advantage. All good and reasonable things within pokemon universe. However, all Lily answered them was a meme.

This meme

Basically, the answer to everyone wanting to defeat Syir. Literally a "You cant" in form of a bad meme.

Lily says that Syir is too powerful and evil to be defeated, to the point there's nothing anyone can do. Even G and C!Lily couldnt. Hell even Bonnie cant stop her, lily said that if they met Bonnie would cry and hide.

Actually, this will be the final topic, the reason i hate her.

3-Snitches get Stitches

In 2020, Lily added a thing in Madhouse wikia Page of Syir, currently deleted by her. She added a small lore info about Diantha and Syir.

Diantha one day managed to escape Syir and tried to find Help on the last person who tried to stop her Gardevoir: C!Lily.

C!Lily was an enforcer, a kind of pokemon cop, who really tried to stop Syir. However, Syir almost murdered both her and G, wich made C!Lily abandon all investigation she made, and made her terrified of Syir.

Diantha begged her for help, to find a way to save her. But C!Lily didnt wanted to help, because Syir threatened to kill everyone who she loved if she tried anything.

So what C!Lily did?

She gave Diantha back to Syir.

She GAVE. AN ABUSE VICTIM. BACK TO ITS ABUSER.

Now you get it why i feel so much hate towards her?

I dont care about any drama of hers, i cant EXCUSE THAT SHE WROTE SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND WANTS ME TO LIKE HER CHARACTERS.

TO LIKE G, C!LILY OR ANYONE ELSE.

She May have deleted the original pages and only left the nuke attack she gave to Syir.

But i will never forget what she did.

And i will never forgive.

[moeblob]

Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."

[carefulfears]

txf30 day 4: favorite dynamic (besides the obvious): scully/mulder/skinner

y’all mind if i ramble for a second?? there are so many connections that are so important to this story, but i always come back to these three. i think everything does.

i say that memento mori is the most loving episode of the series, but when i think about that one, it’s not even the kiss in the hallway that stays with me. it’s skinner coming in to work, the first time scully was in the hospital, and finding mulder sitting in his office. and he’s just been sitting there. bypassed the secretary (lol), and just sat and waited. he doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

and the way that skinner tells him, no. don’t do it to yourself under any circumstances. that he is not to risk himself to try to save scully. ultimately, it’s not mulder that made the deal with the devil, it’s skinner who didn’t follow his own advice. (gave up everything he has, to save them both).

and these are just two weirdos who work for him in the basement!! he doesn’t owe them anything. but he’s the one there, at the end, no matter what. he’s the one who comes to get them when they’re hurt, or lost, or need help. they’re his emergency contacts, the people who show up, the people who advocate for him. the people who know him. (the bigfoot division are a.d. skinner’s silly rabbits etc etc etc)

in iwtb, after six years away, it’s skinner who comes to get scully, on the side of the road, next to mulder’s flipped car. tells her that they will find him, that he’s okay, to breathe. it’s skinner that holds mulder on the ground, in the end.

when mulder went back to bellefleur, it's skinner that scully sent with him. that girl has never trusted a single soul to so much as breathe mulder's air, but "i won't let you go alone," is immediately followed by skinner packing the car.

like trish said last night:

i think telling scully he "lost" mulder was the hardest thing he ever did. skinner loves mulder too, but mulder is scully's entire world. and this time around, he won't let scully be alone the way mulder was.

(and the kindest thing scully ever did: squeezing his hand, saying "i already heard.")

(skinner returns the favor: he tells mulder about william, so that scully doesn't have to.)

my favorite moment in requiem is the final scene, the two of them crying together. the only two people. the only two people who know.

when she tells him that she's pregnant, he's the first to know. the only person to know, for most of her pregnancy. 18 years later, he's still the first person thinking of their baby, looking out for him.

honestly, it always comes back to sein und zeit for me. when after 7 years, after 27 years, mulder says that it's just too much, and he wants to go home. he wants time away from work. the sequence in the car: mulder in the backseat, skinner behind the wheel, scully on the passenger's side. for so many years, mulder had to be searching, so that he wouldn't be alone. but now he stands in front of two people who love him, and admits to needing a break. to wanting it to stop. he's guided, he's guarded.

skinner is a hardass. it's not easy to manage their madness. it's not easy to write the footnotes, to be the person waiting, in this particular story. but like he tells mulder, 14 years after they last worked together: not a day goes by where he doesn't just wish they were there, trying to make things better.

[landonkirbyappreciation]

It’s so absurd how they had golem Landon telling Hope that she needed to worry about Landon less and everyone else more. When Landon had literally melted, been trapped in Malivore, been trapped alone in a prison world full of monsters with no help or powers, for how many weeks, all while everyone else was safely living their lives at the school. But no, don’t worry about Landon, worry about everyone else. That sort of mentality really sums up the show though, like… Landon is in grave danger, Landon is trapped in another dimension, Landon’s body has been taken over, Landon died, Landon is trapped in purgatory, Landon lost a piece of his soul, every bad thing ever is happening to Landon but let’s not worry about any of that and focus on other irrelevant things instead. And care about anyone and anything else but him while he suffers. That was basically the show in a nutshell.

[lavender-acee]

sometimes. You must watch the final episode of saiki k reawakened and just sit there like, utterly vibrating. Foaming at the mouth. Its like Cinematic to me, you understand

[antoncrane]

Random TOW question: When visiting Phineas, do you go alone or take companions with you? (I ask because I realised that I’ve always gone to see him solo. Legit’ never once dragged anyone along.) Also I know this could have been a poll, but I genuinely enjoy hearing everyone’s reasons for doing things.

[chirpsythismorning]

🎨 🖼️ 🌈 🩹 🧍🏽💡 🔮⚡️☄️

Blue Moon by Ella Fitzgerald

previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

[theood]

Sorry to beat the dead horse I live in lately but I'm so tired. A break from social media probably could help. If I figure out how else to occupy my time doing absolutely nothing. It's what I say every fucking day. Just wish I had friends. People my age around here to talk too. Even younger. Anything. I'm so fucking lonely. I love everyone I talk to online, I have meaningful connections with so many of you but I also haven't had meaningful conversation IRL in idk. Years probably. I haven't seen any of my old friends because we moved and I had to isolate myself because no one really wanted to hang out with me or could get here. And I really don't do anything, I can't be stressed. I can't be depressed I can't. I can't. I can't. Just like every adult in my life says. I don't know. I just wish I could actually see it's going to get better. Be better for me

[theskyexists]

You know what I think is so....there's such a pseudo respect for science on this website specifically but - just like in many societies generally - only when it speaks with authority. And yeah, the scientific method is how we're trying to find out truth about things, so we can base our decisions on this truth. At one point - you're gonna have to speak with some authority based on the research that has been done. But. So many people - in society and on this website - have not studied to become scientists. They have not learned about the scientific method. So all they see is apparently - science as authority. But science as authority is a consensus. 'Consensus' reached by multiple individual scientists who are no longer in major disagreement because so much research has been done that it SEEMS LIKE we're on to something. And yet, even then, everything may turn out to be wrong. Because people have been fabricating results for example (happened really seriously within the field of psychology) or because it turned out that most studies' methods or assumptions were less rigorous or accurate than desirable (lookin askance at economics) or the classic paradigm shift in physics where some whole new set of ideas topples earlier ones. It seems like we've reached a pretty solid idea of things. But when is that point? Very few people have been taught to recognise it. Which requires actually reading/scanning studies. Or at least good summaries. Getting a sense of what the landscape of ideas is. What are major theories and assumptions and results? (In uni, you get handed this in a course). More importantly, what is missing?? Once you go digging into any subject it generally turns out there's more gaps in understanding and especially empirical results WITH good methods than what's actually known. In uni, you're taught to recognise how researchers might have fucked up (at least, they attempt to teach this). What's solid stuff? What's rigorous research? What is valid and reliable? When is something TRUE? Here comes my personal opinion: if there's not 3- 10 citations behind a statement then you're knitting a web of maybes together. Actually it's NOT just my personal opinion, it's a major problem in scholarship and science that scientists are NOT reproducing studies because they are not rewarded for it - when the scientific method REQUIRES reproduction of results for any kind of robust 'truth' to emerge.

But most people are simply 100% not taught about HOW our societies make truth (emerge) - or rather how scientists should be doing this. They are delivered truth by the authority: science. But the nature of the scientific process delivers differing narratives, theories, hypotheses, especially until a kind of consensus is reached. So people take one study and run with it. Or 7 wildly differing studies which seem to be about the same thing but really aren't. And that's not even non-uni-educated people only, I've seen plenty of paper-publishing people knit their stuff together that way. Sometimes that's all the information there is! But though scientists are taught to point to the sources of information for statements they make - that doesn't mean that everything published is Fact. Most discussions of results would acknowledge this strenuously. Still, they're often cited that way if it suits the narrative of the paper pointing at them.

My point? Wish people would be MORE skeptical of 'science'. What? I hear you ask? More crazies who don't listen to reason? No - I just wish more people would have access to and the means to and the desire to and have respect for doing one's own research with the scientific method as FALLIBLE BUT ENDLESSLY SELF- ADJUSTING TRUTH-SEEKING MECHANISM in the backs of their minds. Which means reading. Literally just means reading, and staying critical, and recognising when things are not nearly ready to be called TRUTH yet at all and when things ARE ready to be called TRUTH (looking at climate change and its human causes and the major consensus on this).

What I mean is - again - wish people would actually read studies. Wish this was a thing taught to every child in secondary school. Otherwise you get people pointing at 30 studies about completely different arguments / completely different scope that lead back to about three studies of actual results eventually which didn't have amazing methods. And that's TRUTH and anyone who denied this Substantiated Common Sense is a moral idiot. Maybe let's do some rigorous testing first and then some pilots.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[niaevum]

.

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Simon was seething. Never had he been so viscerally angry, his temper dangerously towing the tight rope that was his self control. You’d almost been killed. You’d been shot, and you were damn lucky that it hadn’t been fatal.

He found you on the roof later that night, no longer hiding the pain the bullet wound in your side had caused once you thought you were alone. It took all of two seconds of him seeing you hurting like that for him to snap.

“The fuck were you thinking out there, Y/N?!” His voice echoed in the night air, causing you to flinch slightly. “Do please tell me you’ve got a reasonable explanation for what happened.”

“Simon, please just calm down for a minute.” Your voice was soft, too soft, and it only fueled his anger more.

“Calm down? You want me to calm down?” Simon bellowed, his self control rapidly slipping out of his grasp. “You almost fuckin’ died, Y/N!”

Simon hated the way you flinched, hated the way you backed up ever so slightly away from him, but he couldn’t control himself. He had almost lost you.

“I know that, Simon. I know. But I don’t regret what went down.” You forced your voice steady, your eyes not leaving his as you attempted to stand your ground. “I-.”

“You don’t regret almost getting shot? Y/N, you’re not on this team to make reckless decisions. If I knew you’d be making choices like that, I’d have had Price kick you off the team months ago! Almost dying, for what? For what?!” Simon moved closer to you, the red in his vision nearly blinding, and this time you didn’t back away.

“For you, asshole!” You screamed, your hands reaching for Simon’s chest, pushing him as hard as you possibly could. Simon barely moved an inch before you screamed again. “For you! If I hadn’t taken that bullet, you would’ve died!”

Simon’s world stopped in that moment, the red vanishing from his vision, his heart coming to a slow halt in his chest as he absorbed your words. For him?

“He was aiming at you, Simon. If I hadn’t stepped in the way, we would’ve lost you. And I.” You trailed off, unable to look at the hulking man in front of you. “I don’t know, I didn’t hesitate, it was as if it was just instinct for me.”

Simon could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the soft thud thud thud the only thing keeping him grounded. You’d saved him. You’d risked your life to save him.

You, the sweet soldier who always put others first. You, the one who’d always patched him up late at night, laughing at his shitty jokes. You, the one who understood him like nobody else. You, the one person in this godforsaken world that got him to lower the never ending walls within him. You, the one he’d unknowingly loved for years. Saved him.

“I know it was stupid, and if you want to kick me off of the team for it, fine. But I’d do it again.” You threw your hands up in the air, and Simon didn’t miss the way you winced from the pain in your side. “I don’t regret it.”

Simon only stared at you, his eyes betraying none of the inner turmoil that he was currently experiencing.

“I couldn’t lose you, Simon.” Your voice was barely audible as you spoke, your eyes falling on the lower half of his mask. “Not now, not ever. I don’t know what I would’ve done if that bullet hit you.”

Simon’s eyes found yours as he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He opened his mouth to speak, but his tongue felt heavy, incapable of moving. For the first time in his life, he truly didn’t know what to say.

He watched as you chewed your bottom lip, your eyes leaving his yet again as you looked down at your feet. God he wishes he could say something, anything, but as always words failed him around you.

“I’ve got to go report in to Price.” You said, slowly turning away from him to face the door. “I won’t apologize for what I did, but I’m sorry for causing you to doubt my ability to support the team. Have a good night, lieutenant.”

Watching you turn away from him had finally stirred something within him, his heart rapidly beating in his chest. He had to make this right.

“Y/N.” Simon found his voice as you reached the roof’s door, causing you to turn to face him. “Wait.”

Your heart practically stopped beating upon finding Simon’s mask discarded, his face now fully bare for you to see. You weren’t sure what you had expected, once you’d finally seen him, but it certainly wasn’t this.

He was simply beautiful. Every scar, every small freckle, dimple, wrinkle had formed his face impeccably well, and you couldn’t help but stare at him as your mind ran completely blank.

You’d fallen for the masked man long ago, his dry humor, loyalty and bravery were something that’d you’d found yourself drawn to. You’d meant what you said to him about not regretting taking a bullet for him. You loved him. And truthfully couldn’t fathom a life without him.

“Now you see me.” Simon breathed, his eyes softening as he watched you take in every inch of his face. He should’ve felt vulnerable, shy even. But he didn’t. Not with you. He wanted you to see him, every imperfect inch of him.

He bared himself to you, let his face and eyes tell you everything he didn’t know how to express with words.

“I’ve always seen you, Simon Riley.” You spoke, your voice barely above a whisper as your hand softly cupped his cheek. “Always.”

And that was all it took for Simon to know he loved you.

[andvys]

Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

And my, my love had been frozen. Deep blue, but you painted me golden.

Warnings: 18+, mdni! there will be smut in the future chapters. enemies to lovers, 'she fell first, he fell harder' kind of trope, allusions to unrequited love, mentions of death, injuries, allusions to self hatred, mentions of bullying, this story is set post s4, Vecna and the upside down are gone. slow burn. ‘hate’ sex. fwb kinda thing but they’re ‘enemies’. mean!reader, mean!Steve, hurt/comfort, happy ending.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: You and Steve have never seen eye to eye, and it never changed, not even when you were pulled into a world of monsters and risked your life to save him. But tension had always been between you both, something that neither of you ever wanted to admit -- but how much longer can you take it when the pull between you gets stronger and stronger each second you spend by each others side?

♡

Prologue ⭐︎

Chapter one ⭐︎ Waiting Room

Chapter two ⭐︎ I want you to notice, when I’m not around

Chapter three ⭐︎ So if you need to be mean, be mean to me

Chapter four ⭐︎ Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness

Chapter five ⭐︎'Cause you know it could never be

Chapter six ⭐︎ Secrets I have held in my heart

Chapter seven ⭐︎ Got a feeling your electric touch, could fill this ghost town up with life

Chapter eight ⭐︎ Say my name and everything just stops

Chapter nine ⭐︎ And I'll show you if you let me, girl

Chapter ten ⭐︎ Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning

Chapter eleven ⭐︎ Yeah, I know it seems surprising when there’s lipstick still on the glass

Chapter twelve ⭐︎ When the curtains call the time, will we both go home alive?

Chapter thirteen ⭐︎ For a moment, I was heaven struck

Chapter fourteen ⭐︎ Somewhere in these eyes, I'm on your side

Chapter fifteen ⭐︎ I thought the plane was going down, how'd you turn it right around?

Chapter sixteen ⭐︎ Hold me, love me, touch me, honey

Chapter seventeen ⭐︎ What am I supposed to do? If there's no you.

Chapter eighteen ⭐︎ Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me

Chapter nineteen ⭐︎ For you, I would ruin myself, a million little times

Chapter twenty ⭐︎ Tell me it's love, tell me it's real

Chapter twenty one ⭐︎ Please, I've been on my knees, change the prophecy

Chapter twenty two ⭐︎ Let the world around us just fall apart

Chapter twenty three ⭐︎ And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me

Chapter twenty four ⭐︎ I once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden

Chapter twenty five ⭐︎ Who could stay? You could stay

The Epilogue ⭐︎