#self care server

[borderlinereminders]

Something I’ve talked about is how I have a server on Discord that is just for me. A server where I can check things if I’m having anxiety or irrational thoughts. I think I’d like to share more about it because it doesn’t just need to be Discord. It could be an album in your phone or whatever else, but I find this really helpful. Everything is organized and easily accessible for when I need it.

My main advice is always to prepare for crisis, or even not crisis but being upset. Plan out what can help you instead of trying to figure it out when emotions are high.

I also have a self-care box but that’s a whole other long post. Here’s a blog post on how to make one though!

You can read below the read more for what the sections are about if you want!

The “Self Care (Loved Ones)” section shows channels like “best friend” “partner” and “other loved ones”. These channels contain screenshots those people have said to me that have made me feel loved. Not always things about them loving me directly but things like, in my best friend’s, reminding me to pack my good pillow so I don’t get neck pain.

There are also my two Tumblr channels. One for Tumblr Asks (yes, I save all your nice asks in my self-care channel, even if I don’t respond to them.). The other for “other tumblr” which usually shows stuff like tags people have left on my post that made me feel good, or I’ve even seen people have made nice posts about me.

There is also a memories channel where I write out my favourite memories after they happen so I can read back on them and remember when my lack of emotional permanence is making me think there’s no good in my life.

The next section is my “Other” self-care.

I have a channel for grounding. This is because when I’m really stressed, I forget how to ground. And having a channel that details it step by step for me, written by me and to me when I was calm, helps make it easier.

I also have a channel where I list my accomplishments. Things like blog follow milestones, numbers of orders for my business, getting my BA, etc. This helps for my lack of emotional permanence when I feel like I can’t do “anything” right.

And then my “read if panicking” is basically crisis instructions for me. It carries a quick grounding exercise and instructions that can help me if I need. (Things like grabbing a certain comfort item, a person to call if it’s needed, etc).

I also have other channels in my above categories you can’t see. Things like pictures of my dog and stuff like that. (Also other practical and helpful stuff that isn’t relevant for this post.)

This is what my self-care server looks like. What yours would look like is individual and up to you! But if you feel inspired to make one, I hope my explaining mine can help you start!

[vaimetanyx]

@themolluscasometimes said she wanted a Skinhe plush and now this skin creature lives in her home because I asked 'how much do you want one?' and everything spiraled from there. The most interesting part of all this has been explaining who and what he is to people not in the know - stay insane svsss fandom

[aterfish]

Best puppers✨

[dr-mothman]

I think not a lot of people talk about AM's self-esteem issues and self-destructive tendencies and it makes me sad.

[toldentops]

talk about kinoga. NOW.

GAH I JUST THINK THEY ARE SO............. well first of all. they are so cute and handsome. look at them right now

Second of all I have one million feelings about them and it's barely an exaggeration. For those who aren't familiar, Kinoga is one of my beloved splatoon ocs and I think about them all the time. Originally made when I tossed a "what-if" idea about Trito, my first splatoon oc, who was once part of the octarian military, if he runs into one of the old squad members on the surface, and Kinoga was born with the help of @igneouskit. Brainworms ensue. its terminal. check out their toyhouse

(extremely brief rundown for those unfamiliar with splatoon lore the relevant bits are as follows: some octolings are part of a military that were forced underground after a war with the Inklings over land due to rising seas. At some point during the plot, the song Calamari Inkantation is sung by the two idols, which is apparently imbued in the DNA of all creatures and compels octolings to see the surface. In the splatoon 2 DLC, octo expansion, some octolings are recruited by a shady company called Kamabo Co, which entices participants to enroll in tests through a deep sea metro, and offers the "promised land" as a reward. Completing the tests entails collecting parts of a blender, and the "reward" is getting blended into sludge. This sludge can get injected into other octos which causes them to lose their will and consciousness ("sanitization").

timeline-wise much of their story takes place between splat 2, through octo expansion, and is currently in the splat 3 era. When they were still in the military, they ended up hearing the Calamari Inkantation like Agent 8 did. Kinoga and their squad were incredibly close to each other. Unwilling to just up and leave the underground but wanting to give their squadmates a better life, Kinoga hears about Kamabo's "promised land" and wants to seek it out, so they leave the squad to embark on the metros and promises to return. They do not <3 Some of the tests make them encounter sanitized octolings and they begin to question what's really happening in the metros. Their tipping point is when they run into Agara, one of their squadmates that decided to enter the metros to look for Kinoga and ends up being sanitized. Kinoga, facing the crushing realization that their squadmates had followed them, unaware of the danger, narrowly escapes being killed by Agara and eventually makes it to the surface.

This results in them experiencing a good amount of crushing guilt about leaving, they never knew it would lead to the possibility of dooming their whole squad that followed after them because they were loved and trusted. Kinoga had no way of letting the rest of them know that they should turn back and it's so. AAUGH. They have no choice but to continue on, finding life on the surface and eventually making it to splatsville with the belief that the rest of the squad may be gone. Agara and Trito end up running through the metro, Agara gets sanitized and Trito survives, albeit without getting a nasty scar from an accident that nearly got him sanitized.

Trito makes me insane also. he's my funny silly rabbit. I care about him so so much. trito goes through the metros, to maybe catch up with kinoga or meet them at the promised land, trusting that it was worth leaving if Kinoga decided it was worth it for all of them too.

Trito, upon learning about The Horrors in the metro later, realizes what could have happened to Kinoga and Agara and is unwilling to return to the rest of the squad with this knowledge, struck by the possibility that they're both gone. <-also has to realize that these horrible things have been happening to all the octlings that left to go do the metro tests. He too, eventually escapes to the surface and makes it to Inkopolis.

Years later, Trito, on a day trip to Splatsville, encounters Kinoga on the streets, and they lock eyes. and. fuck. They thought they were dead and had dealt with the grief and accepting that they were gone, effectively pushing those thoughts aside, and now they're physically in front of each other and they have to deal with it again. they make me SICK. Kinoga knowing that trito went to the metros and followed them and made it out also. Trito knowing that Kinoga experienced the horrors as well and survived. Neither of them able to return to tell the rest of the squad but they're both here, alive on the surface and aarrghhhhhhh. now they have to cope with this. they hastily exchange contact information, having to leave each other again, and end up meeting later to really catch up.

I'm so normal about kinoga and their relationship to trito post-domes. They don't even realize that they miss each other so much because they accepted that they were already gone. Seeing how much the other had changed. Being each other's only tie to their previous lives and it dawns on them that they never can move on from this. Kinoga struggles to tell Trito that they couldn't bring themselves to go back, not knowing if they could escape a second time, not knowing if any of their teammates were still left, already dealing with occasional spurts of being wracked by grief. Trito feeling the same, wanting to forget the terrible things and find happiness on the surface, but disheartened when learning that Kinoga also couldn't bring themselves to go back to look (though now that the both of them are together.....they do eventually muster the courage to go back to the domes to look for their old squadmates). It like. sucks so bad. They didn't intend to abandon their squad, but they were given circumstances where they just could not, and none of the other squad members could have known and suffer for it. aarghhhhh.

They end up at Trito's place, Kinoga and Trito end up being very affectionate towards each other after reuniting, definitely Trito being clingier...Compelled to hold onto each other and not let go, not after feeling so much regret about leaving in the first place. It's like. they left once before and terrible things happened out of their control, so they're allowed to hold each other as close as they can so it doesn't happen again (THE DEMONS) (GRIPS). it's irrational for Trito especially to think that he'll never see Kinoga again when they have to leave, since they live in separate cities and have to go in the morning. and kinoga knows it's irrational and they do their best to comfort him anyways because. who could blame him for wanting to keep them there after being gone for so long and so unexpectedly. The slow, crushing experience of not fully registering that someone could be gone and it creeps up to them until it hits. auuuuugh. they have to be so tender with each other, not really knowing where to take things afterwards but relishing in the moment of having each other there. riding the high of each other's comfort. fuck. this post is just getting worse as it goes. Trito breaking down in Kinoga's arms because he's had to hold in his grief and having nowhere to put it and then finally being able to release it. just being able to feel Something again. kinoga feeling so heartbroken to see trito like this, remembering that he was always so outspoken and smiling and having him curled up against them unable to say anything. holding him as tightly as they can. Feeling the need to take good care of him. They aren't his squad leader anymore but they still feel compelled to look out for him because then they can feel like they're doing at least something right. whatever. you guys get the gist. I'm way too much of a sucker for like...............pained intimacy. I'm down terrible. I think both of them deserve a little kissy and more. again. very touchy and affectionate with each other, I guess theyre still like "friends" (A WARRIOR'S BOND. OR WHATEVER) and are not "together" like a couple but here are words from igneouskit who put it better then I could ever. they love each other so much and they make me blow up. worlds most situationship

and also one bit I forgot to mention is that Trito has a huge scar on his chest that he hates talking about, it just brings back the fear and pain felt when he got it, and by association reminds him that he's alone from his squad who may never see again, so he's very protective of it. Upon getting back to kinoga, they do find out about the scar accidentally, and Trito lets them. like auuuugh they were so familiar with each other and now get to see what's changed since the last time. exploring eachother's bodies. whatever

Kinoga also ends up feeling really guilty at some point for Trito being immediately so affectionate towards them, they harbor thoughts that they don’t deserve it after having him go through that pain, and trito having to tell them that he made his own decision, nobody was forcing him to go, and besides, did it to see kinoga and now that they’re right in front of him he can give him all the love he’s been holding for them. Auuughhhh. Like don’t worry about feeling guilty for it. It wasn’t their fault. What matters to him now is that they’re both alive and with each other. I feel like blowing up

Even after Kinoga goes back to splatsville the next day trito is still aches about them......like a few days of reunion could never be enough to compensate for the years that they spent apart. every time they meet up after that trito jumps in kinoga's arms and kiss them like it was the first time they'd reunited

anyways. they eventually go back down to the domes to find the others. By that time, Agent 8 had dismantled Kamabo, the Sludge shit was no longer in operation, and octolings have started going to the surface. Kanu, another squad member, left the domes to find Kinoga, Agara, and Trito(jilon was another squad member who left for reasons I haven't decided yet). Denchu, the last remaining member, stayed behind, holding on to the hope that the missing members would someday return (denchu is a whole other can of worms. theyre everything to me and I feel so terrible for them <3). Trito and kinoga meet denchu, they update them on everybody else, leaving agara unaccounted for. Kinoga, who was the only one to see Agara firsthand, knowing that she might be completely unsalvageable, hesitates to bring it up, but Trito insists on going to look for her. aughhh. kinoga wants to spare trito the pain of seeing her dead or unconscious. They do eventually find her </3

She is alive, but not doing well at all, Kinoga desperate to maybe find some way to undo sanitization and restore her to full health, knowing full well that it may not be possible. They take Agara back with them to the surface and Kinoga spends a lot of time agonizing again over having caused this, feeling that agara's state is somehow their fault (ITS NOTT they're beating themselves up so bad for this because they feel responsible for the squad. aughhh).

I think thats all I have for kinoga. for now. obviously there are more thoughts I can get into but currently my brain has just latched so hard on trito and kinoga's fun situation and I love them so much. didn't think I'd get attached to them this bad but here we are </3. I hope everyone who has read this far also enjoys them as much as I do

[rosekasa]

there is something so. intensely frustrating about feeling incapable of showing up for people the way that they want you to

[ellejos]

I created a discord server for anyone who wants to share and talk about anything "Becoming That Girl" related. I try to offer you a space for communication, growth and security. I'm happy to meet you there, everything is free of course.

[melatonin-discord]

Note 4 - Everything will be okay.

[melatonindiscord]

take breaks when studying, you don't want to get burnt out.

checkout our pinned post if you're interested in joining a studying community and making some study-buddies 💌

[qsmp-construction-worker]

I cant stop thinking about how in lore qbad never remember they were his kids. How he sacrificed everything for them and he never got to remember.

[boinky-spoinky]

The number 1# thing I hate about self ship is that there’s a specific person who once kicked me out of VC all because I said I once made matching bracelets with Shadow (for fun) and the person kicked me out of the VC just to say they are uncomfortable with me talking about him 💀

Like dude, he’s a fictional character, if your uncomfortable by me talking about him you could’ve told me yourself instead of letting your “knights” talk to me about it, Jesus Christ you fucking dumb

Mind you I’m talking about somebody on self ship discord server who were “uncomfortable” by me

[zymstarz]

yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

[scarletiswailing347]

discliamer since i havent really done that for these kinds of posts and i feel like this one is worded in a more demanding way than i usually do: any post of mine regarding what the ccs "should" do is less me actually wanting them to do what i say and more me speculating on the kinds of actions that they could take, not cause i think im smart or tactical or anything but because this is my idea of what fun is

im watching the tower vod rn and i think the only real way to deal with minute and jumper at this point in the server is to. not

like it probs wont be satisfying to the PlayersTM considering the kind of ppl they are (proactive, confrontational, plays along with the spirit of the server, self-focused morals) but considering the kind of ppl minute and jumper are (reactive, avoidant, prioritizes survival even if it means not great content, normative morals) i think its the only real way to engage with them when it comes to this kind of recursive conflict

like everytime they confront one another it keeps circling back to this moral debate regarding the ethics of killing ppl on fucking Lifesteal of all things and i highly doubt its ever gonna stop (at least for this season) considering none of the new members have really been traumatized the lifesteal way, i dont mean regular smp trauma like war and betrayal and all that jazz cause theyve already got that, i mean Lifesteal trauma: the realization that everything is a cycle, that good and evil doesnt matter, that feeling of hope shattering over and over again, that realization that in the grand scheme of things your ideals dont matter and the only thing you can truly hope for in the server are teammates and allies that wont backstab you, and that even then thats a tall order

so back to Not dealing with jumpertech, i dont mean forgetting what they did, i mean actively avoiding them, acting irrationally scared of them even when theyre being civil, fully putting them in the role of big scary villains, basically still putting what they did at the very forefront but acting like its an insurmountable trauma, planting doubt in their status as heroes, continually being the aggressors just cements in their minds that yes they are the heroes and that yes they are doing the good things

like whether the PlayersTM like it or not this is an unstoppable force vs immovable object kind of situation except the unstoppable force has more to lose by virtue of having a goal that can easily be tided by the immovable object

and i do think they can pull it off, they can lose a fight and lose so much that it breaks their spirit, like jumpertech have both been in kings, they both know how determined at least zam and mapicc are, surely it would be really offputting to see someone youre so used to seeing never giving up to do just that

[histrionicscribbler]

cringe culture is dead

hedonism is king

stay hydrated

zampanio wants you to close your phone and go to sleep

zampanio wants you to close your laptop and eat something nutritious

zampanio wants you to take your meds

zampanio wants you

zampanio audition: are you?

if yes: great. zampanio is a good game, and you should play it.

if no: thats ok. who needs to be a who to play a fun game? who even needs to be? as long as you have eyes, zampanio is okay.

be the watchers. be a diver. be a salter.

we would love to have you.

[leafatlaw]

Loudly complaining about video I am actively choosing to watch

[manic-misfit]

Sometimes self care is really just doing silly makeup looks at 1 am when you should be sleeping while in VC watching a homie play games and listening to silly pop bops.