#lifesteal spoilers

[coffeegnomee]

There is Nothing like the feeling of seeing two people interact after a year and 9 months and them being exactly the same.

The not accepting Zam's self depreciation/being wrong that vi was right, vi's little punches to emphasize his point. his really (really Really) long contemplative pauses. zam's silence, nervous jumping, waiting to hear what vi might be thinking. vi's difficulty in choosing words but also being devastating when he does (eclipse is his favorite story ever told on lifesteal. ok so just kill me now). zam's emotional leaning (i just really missed you. do you want to watch the sunset?) zam showing love but feeling like he can't be exuberant about bc he shows it by saying words while vi shows happiness by smiling silently (and wanting to talk off stream). the absolute dread from zam when vi couldn't find the words to describe his feelings, the pure joy giggles when vi instead said he missed it. the back and forth "hi's" when the convo gets lost.

But both of them growing and maturing. vi admitting he wasn't right, and he did keep things from zam. zam apologizing and saying he was scared to bring it up last season.

long story short I'm not okay.

[heartcircus]

Zam: I'm really excited right now, sorry. I'll try to contain myself. Vitalasy: Why are you excited? Zam: [nervous laughing] Because it's nice to hang out with you! Vitalasy: [pause] Dude, I'm not gonna lie, there's like, I don't even know how to describe it right now. Like, I don't.. Zam: What? Vitalasy: [sigh, pause] This feelings just so weird. Zam: [laugh] I'm sorry. Vitalasy: No! Stop saying sorry! Zam: Okay. Vitalasy: Stop saying sorry! Zam: [laughing] Okay, okay, okay, okay. My bad. Okay. Vitalasy: And you're not wrong and I'm not right! (referencing earlier convo about Zam saying he was right in s4) Zam: Okay, okay.

[mapicccc]

the fun thing about zaun being found out is that means zam and derap can wake up and find mapicc curled up with zam

[doubleslashkarma]

oh so neither of them are over it!! okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vv Transcript vv

DERAP: We're just trying- this is our retirement home, Subz. Okay? This is just something, like- SUBZ: I've- I've been there before! I understand, I understand! I've- I've been there before, y'know? ZAM: Yeah... yeah... DERAP: (overlapping) So you understand that we wouldn't- SUBZ: (overlapping) And then it got blown up by... y'know... [looks at Zam] DERAP: So you understand that we don't want any conflict with anyone, we just wanna... live our own lives? SUBZ: ...this sounds oddly familiar! DERAP: (overlapping) What? ZAM: (overlapping) Really? SUBZ: Yeah!!! Yeah, no, I understand that. Mapicc has no experience with blowing up, um, people's bases, that wanna live on their own, or anything like that, that's never happened, but- SUBZ: (overlapping) Yeah, I understand, I understand. DERAP: (overlapping) What does he mean by that? Translate, I'm a new player. DERAP: What does that mean? You need to translate this to me. ZAM: Umm... I don't want to talk about it... SUBZ: Yeah, he was there too, he was there too, actually! ZAM: I was... I played a part in that, yeah. SUBZ: [laughing] DERAP: Ohhhhhh... ZAM: Yeah... DERAP: God, I hate being a new member, I don't get these references. Okay, uh- ZAM: Yeah. DERAP: Um, right, okay. [~3 seconds of awkward silence] ZAM: Damn. DERAP: This is really awkward.

[zylian]

im never getting over the entirety of that stream

the way zam communicated to mapic and mapic was silent hearing him out and his answers were straight 'whats next' and accepting

likeeee zam said flame is tormenting him the same way mapic did, which was totally referencing s4 with how quiet he got on the last part

mapic immediately struggling to figure out how to handle flame- and than saying he didn't want spawn anymore after zam explained why he left spawn

gosh theres too muchhhh especially with the way red and woogie just had a similar convo of unfamiliarity in actions too

with mapic reading the oath, I doubt zam has to explain his feelings since mapic probably understands him better than he does, same way zam gets mapic, mapic gets zam

im so caught up with him finally explaining even if it was quick what flame and co has done to him and even pinning stuff on him to put him on a pedestal cause zam never elaborated ever so yay

theres just so many things that probably clicked for mapic from the little things mentioned ughh I gotta rewatch the whole convo againnn

[azure-bluet]

Into The Depths *** [July 7, 2024], at 6:28

dynasties and dystopia *** [December 19, 2024], at 2:56:56

[chalalalalalalalalalalala]

reddoons refusing to acknowledge that banning himself was essentially suicide is FASCINATING.

woogie said it himself today: nobody ASKED for red to be banned. kab just wanted to kill him once! no more than that! it was red himself who made the decision to get himself banned there, turning what could’ve been a simple quick drop and move on into full blown assisted dying. and the thing is, when you start to look at it properly it becomes kinda clear that he had reasons for it:

- he had no secure team thanks to the destruction of the mice, and watched everyone he’d hung out with ally with kab

- red was kind of followed by the stories kab had spread about him regarding why they’d fallen out

- he’d alienated himself during the mace trials and thus didn’t have 4C etc

i think reddoons’ obsession with making characters who crave friendship and take drastic measures when those friends abandon him should be studied under a microscope. the headcanon that outsiders!red and lifesteal!red are one and the same is looking REALL juicy rn

BUT ANYWAY the nail in coffin was definitely the ultimatum for woogie. i’m sure i remember someone phrasing it as “reddoons dies or kab destroys everything you’ve ever cared about” and that kind of. excludes red from the everything woogie cares about. he’s just an accessory, a dog, who follows beaten and bruised and loyal.

even dogs lay down to die eventually though.

AND FURTHERMORE post revival red has been fascinating in his approach to the topic. like, he refuses to accept that that’s what he did; he wanted a bit of peace and quiet and the only way to get it was to loll himself in his eyes. and he paints it as a sacrifice and martyrs himself because otherwise he’s just a tragic, sad man who had nothing left to go on for. he was stuck and took the only way out he saw and thought he’d found peace and freedom in death but nope! he’s back!

watching his shift on his opinion of death is interesting too; red went from saying how peaceful it was and how it was like he retired to going “oh fuck! that sucked!” and realising real life is so much more interesting. like when he said to subz today that there was nothing after death except emptiness (which is exactly what he was running from), why did he sound so angry about it? what (or who) was he expecting to find there?

[thegooblet]

derap basically professes his love to zam and zam's first thought is "mapiccs gonna be pissed.."

[mcytegg]

zam is so like, lovestruck w vi oh my god. its Actually sickening,,,,

[derww]

i feel so fucking sick and sad dude why cant vi just be here. i miss him. i dont want to watch zam do an ultimate task in a weak hope to just talk. i want vi to step on a ground again and smile to them and see all the new things and smile to his friends and give an amethyst to jumper and meet subz and red and wish them luck and see vitalahole and drink tea and see a sunset and eat and sleep and be and live and never place a block but not because he already placed his last one but because he never will. why we have to do all this. why cant we have something good atleast for a day. why cant we just. live and continue living.

[coffeegnomee]

just thinking how words of affirmation coded zam is especially considering i started this day with a poll of whether devotions will ever express their devotion with words. zam keeps falling hard for people who don't words of affirmation very well. mapicc is quality time. vi is physical touch. subz is gift giving. (broadly speaking to all. and tbh subz (and zam) are gift giving givers rather than receiving love through gift giving.) and he finds it the most difficult to feel and understand their love out of everyone on the server. and since they don't words of affirmation as much, he doesn't use words to express his love to them either, and instead reciprocates their love languages, and is left not sure about their love of him. unless they use words.

does this make sense? am i just yapping? just thinking about it, bc vi's love language is the farthest from words of affirmation he just smiles happily standing close watching the sunset while zam is silently like I Need You To Say Something, and then he says something and zam is giddy. And then vi does his little punches whenever he is trying to communicate affection, and takes screenshots of every time he's close with someone he loves.

[heartcircus]

Zam: We just started this, yes. Derap: We're just tr- this is our retirement home, Subz, okay. Subz: I- I've been there before, I understand. I understand, I've been there before. And it got blown up but, y'know. Zam: [overlapping] Yeah... yeah. Derap: [overlapping] So, you would understand that we wouldn't- so, you'd understand that we don't want any conflict with anyone, we just wanna live our own lives. Subz: ...This sounds oddly familiar! [glances at Zam] Zam: What? Derap: Really? Subz: Yeah! Yeah, no, I- I understand that. Mapicc- Mapicc has no experience with blowing up, um, people's bases that wanna live on their own or anything like that. That's- that's never happened, but yeah, yeah. I- I understand that, I understand that. Derap: [overlapping] What does he mean by that? Translate, I- I'm a new member. What does- what does that mean? You need to translate this to me. Zam: Ummm..... I don't wanna talk about it. Subz: Yeah, he was there too! He was there too, actually! Zam was there. Zam: [mumbling, overlapping] I was... I was- I played a part in that, yeah. Derap: OOohhhhh

[mapicccc]

"just come out of exile! Just come back to spawn!" I'm convinced they're being obvious on purpose because at this point it is so clear mapicc just wants zam back he doesn't care about the damn rules he made he's just upset zam left him entirely.

[doubleslashkarma]

Kind of obsessed w how literally everyone in the Mawn v Zaun conflict thinks it's all about them and they're all wrong. How are all four of you suffering from main character syndrome all at the same time. This is so fucking funny

[zylian]

can we talk about how flame is kinda s4 mapic coded rn like wdym he got tormenting zam 24/7 schedule going on, wdym he got offended by saying he was controlled by someone else and is doing his own thing now, wdym he is being a second in command jumping around and going into fights with another leading, wdym he purposely made more damage when zam went to fix his flowers, wdym he saw subz log on and started prepping wolves in case a fight with him broke out-

like flame my guy this is really funny of you especially for following under mapics ruling rn

plus mapic saying to zam that he can't control him and he's too destructive-

honestly i giggled

[azure-bluet]

zam laughing with so much love at derapchu's book and mapicc's arrow. those are his boyfriend and his partner and he cares so much about them i'm sick