#and like. i know this is so unreasonable. obviously we have to be present in the lives of people that care for us

[flagellant]

perhaps this is in bad faith, but don't you think it's plausible that ms appleton was just a government food scientist who was sent to japan as sort of U.S. ambassador and given a generic, americanized name? we know that resources were scarce during the war and that many changes had to be made, or simply were made to cut costs, in the production of lots of things at the time. it just makes sense when you break it down that traditional shoyu is time and labour intensive to make but improves the taste of even outright bad dishes. at a time when people were forced to eat whatever food was available to them demand was likely very high to the point of unreasonably outweighing supply. either officials at kikkoman reached out to american food scientists for a solution or they offered one up themselves, given the fact that food science was undergoing a huge international renaissance led by the americans during the 30s, 40s and 50s. americans have a tendency to synthesize food. they also tend to feel strongly about imposing their culture on other countries. it seems more to me like this is a story about the american government taking extra steps to obfuscate the story of how they semi-successfully tried to be the final nail in the coffin of widespread, traditional shoyu production. less like some kind of yakuza conspiracy somehow centred on one woman. just the perspective of someone who's felt compelled to do their own research. it's my opinion that the way you're presenting your findings leaves massive gaps as well as leaps to get over them. i can't speak for the things you haven't shared publicly, obviously, but it feels a lot like you're dancing around the point. good luck to you in your research, regardless of my own feelings.

I think I agree that you're either arguing in bad faith or simply aren't really paying attention to a wider picture here. It's common knowledge that postwar economics in Japan were heavily influenced and remain to this day connected to organized crime and the Yakuza as an old tool of the imperial/noble order. We also know for a fact that the CIA worked with the yakuza during American occupation in order to manipulate political culture and economic structures.

It's also a common conspiracy in Japanese circles (or at least so it appears, and I want to be clear I am not voicing this as more than preexisting theory/belief, so I will not directly source to give complete credibility; consider this as context for why I might be interested in investigating further, just in case) that Empress Michiko and the Seifun Milling Company had close under-the-table connections with America, which would further influence the traditional shoyu brewing culture.

Like, I feel as though if you seem to be aware enough that America's treatment of Japan was one of extreme hostility and cruelty with little-to-no care about the nation or its people, solely using it as a means to enforce American/Western ideals and principles onto an unwilling populace and using violence and illegal organized crime syndicates to fulfill those goals...then why are you acting as though it's sus of me to look at a single woman in 1947 having this much power/control over Japanese-American relations when you have said yourself that shoyu is the single most important ingredient for Japanese food of all time, and only moreso during war rations/scarcity times?

[castielcommunism]

the confession speech being as rose-tinted and dean-apologetic as it is likely has to do with the fact that the romance was legitimately so chronically underdeveloped in the show that cas being in love with dean was like, a thing that the writers just decided to be in the show last minute, so obviously the words cas says are going to reflect how narratively juvenile it is and not the result of like, him being resigned to the fact that he’s been in love with this imperfect man for over a decade. and also this is The Dean Show before it’s anything else, so we have cas telling him he’s the bravest specialist most handsome guy ever, as opposed to dean in all his horrible imperfection being given the gift of a brutally honest deathbed love confession. like I understand that cas wanted to leave dean with as much emotional fortitude as possible before dying, and that’s a diegetic reason why cas said all those overly flattering things to him, but in another sense I think it is definitely ooc. cas knows dean is not a perfect human being, and dean is not the reason cas loves humanity.

I know “this love story suffers from underdevelopment in canon” is a water-is-wet level of obviousness, but like it legitimately did suffer! this confession is THE single shot at establishing destiel as explicit, which is why I think it’s as flattering as it is. it does not reflect the infinitely complex feelings of an angel who has been in love with a human man for so long it’s hard to even think about a time before it was real. bitterness, resentment, anger, betrayal, hatred, loyalty, hunger, affection, excitement, disgust, and yearning should have all been simultaneously present in the culmination of what is, ostensibly, the last words of an angel who spent the final years of his life utterly dedicated to an incredibly fucked up mortal man, and not, like, “you are the most perfect guy that has ever existed ever.” if cas ever felt that way about dean he changed his mind a long time ago. but the love cas felt became diegetic only in the moment the confession was delivered, even though the only REASON the confession exists in the first place is because so many people in the audience went “hey these dudes have been in love with each other since forever.”

so I think the confession is written from the perspective of writers who don’t write it in light of the massive thematic and emotional weight to all the events that came before it; that like the rest of supernatural, conclusions spring from the earth fully formed with no history behind them, and in that same fashion the confession was dropped from the story just as quickly. taking the events of the show literally, I think it’s not unreasonable to come to the conclusion that cas loved dean for approximately ten minutes before dying and becoming a complete non-entity in the series finale

[youlackconviction]

had some fun on twitter today lol. a series stan came @ me with some of the above so i decided to compile them and other common genuine responses that i’ve seen to LOKI-series-critical meta and create a fun little game for y’all.

if you want to use this board go ahead, i’d appreciate a credit back this blog or my twitter @ulackconviction if you do use it, so i can follow your threads myself. just save the pic, mark which responses you’ve received from fans of the LOKI series, and reblog with your edited bingo card.

below i the cut will quote each one and my own response to each “argument”.

if you hate sylki then you are biphobic - no, i hate sylki for many reasons but alleged bisexuality is not one. how about, the toxic abuse dynamic sylvie sets up towards LOKI? let’s start there.

you don’t want your uwu emo boy LOKI to heal - incorrect. i’d love for him to finally get a chance to be heard and acknowledged, genuinely cared for and shown how to let go of his unresolved trauma. but that would require a compassionate person talking about it and showing it, none of which the series did.

it’s not incest they don’t have the same parents - they literally have the same father: laufey of jotunnheim.

it’s not self-cest that’s a made-up thing - well. hard to say really isn’t it? since the showrunners have both defined sylvie as “a LOKI” and as “not a LOKI” in the same breath. obviously it’s a fantasy concept, but people will have their opinions about that either way.

why don’t y’all just move on and shut up? - rude. why should we? LOKI is important to us and the series is hurtful and disappointing, and we will shut up when we feel like it. maybe never. cry about it.

if you don’t like it then don’t watch it - we like LOKI tho. and that’s who we were promised. that’s why we watched it. the damage is done.

y’all are just mad that lokius is not canon - lmao if there’s one thing to not be mad about in this shitshow, that would be it. mobius is just as toxic and abusive to LOKI as sylvie is, so it’s just as well.

LOKI is just a selfish villain - citations needed thanks. i’ll wait. not even the series managed to portray him that way so... good luck.

sylvie is not LOKI she’s her own person - ok... if she’s not LOKI why is she dressed like him? why does everyone in the series call her the superior LOKI variant? why was LOKI’s help enlisted in the first place to capture her? why does she say “we are the same person” to him?

sylvie is LOKI so genderfluid rep is on screen every time she is - wait what? she is LOKI now? hang on... i think i have whiplash. and more questions. also, an individual presenting and identifying consistently as a single binary gender throughout their entire appearance does not constitute genderfluidity representation.

mobius did not torture LOKI it was therapy - therapy. right. so physical violence, threats of further violence/death, repetitive physical brutality for the purposes of “softening up” the candidate (yes that can also be defined as torture), intimidation, and misrepresenting the truth for manipulative purposes (you killed your mother) is therapeutic. got it.

fluidphobia is not a real thing - genderfluid folks would disagree. let’s ask them?

go touch grass - one of my favourites, gotta say. for all you know i’m typing this on my phone while laying in a hay paddock lol.

misogynist, you obviously just hate women - again. the reasons i can’t stand sylvie are many and varied, and none of them have anything to do with her biology or gender. disliking one (1) woman because of her actions and personality is not logical grounds for such an accusation.

well tom loves the series so... - uh, good for him? i think tom loves tennis too... doesn’t mean i have to enjoy it, nor i suspect would he insist that it’s unreasonable for me not to do so. my brain is actually separated from tom’s by the entire molten core of a planet, so i can actually think my own thoughts about things.

LOKI is out of character in the series because he learned self love - okay so he learned self-love the instant he fell from the sky above that mongolian settlement? because that’s the moment when he ceased to resemble MCU LOKI in any way, shape, or form. hair, skin colour, mannerisms, personality, vocabulary, physical strength, intelligence, fighting ability, grace, wit, charm. wow. incredible. who knew it would be so easy? and who knew self-love would look so shitty?

LOKI is not out of character in the series compared to the films - um... actually he is, and it can easily be demonstrated with simple side-by-side comparisons of appearance, posture and body language, abilities, and speech patterns. see above.

LOKI is out of character in all the movies and now we see his real self - this is such incredible nonsense - it’s impossible for a character to be out of character in their seminal appearance(s). thor 2011 established LOKI’s character. this claim is right up there with “LOKI acts differently from the movies when he’s off camera.” um... what? hun, this is a movie. there is ONLY on-camera. there IS nothing else. are you confusing BTS footage of tom with LOKI?

series antis have no friends - one in a range of irrelevant and unsubstantiated personal attacks that series fans like to sprinkle into their arguments as if it somehow strengthens them, rather than revealing them to be three children in a trench coat hurling insults.

everything you think about LOKI is just a headcanon - no... the stuff that i know about him was told to me by the films, and by the writers and directors of the films, and by tom back when he was first engaged for the role. all of it is coherent and consistent. and that’s what i think about LOKI.

i’m not going to read/watch that! but you are wrong - incredible powers of deduction: to refuse to even engage with a piece of media or information and yet claim to know everything it contains, and be able to judge its accuracy. truly amazing.

LOKI isn’t going to fuck you - again, more absolute gold from a person who has literally run out of rebuttals. when you consider the barriers to such a liaison... crossing the boundaries of reality no less... lol imagine if this is how political debates were conducted in parliament or the senate. “the president/senator/prime minister/queen isn’t going to fuck you, you know!” lmaoooo.

LOKI is a narcissist to fall in love with himself - look up NPD, and then read this again. also, LOKI actually hates himself and goes along with others’ ridicule of him because his self-worth is literally in the gutter. he only likes sylvie because he describes her as being nothing like himself. he has no idea that he has any value.

your anti opinions are taking away my enjoyment - ok so... don’t read them? block me or mute me or whatever, and get on with your life? it’s not like you have any kind of past attachment to me like series-antis do with LOKI?

i never liked LOKI before the series anyhow - i mean that’s fine. but don’t even start trying to tell people who actually do know and love the original character, ANYTHING at all about him. don’t even start.

sylvie’s trauma is worse than LOKI’s - how do we even know? and why is that even relevant? how do you judge what damage a person has incurred by comparing it to some other different person with different experiences? fuck off with your trauma olympics. but since you made it a competition: LOKI wins. i care about him, i don’t care about sylvie. therefore his pain and opportunity for healing will always be more important to me. die mad about it.

even if the series hurt minorities, how many people even is that, tho - literally a remark one of my friends received when defending genderfluid folks on her blog. so apparently according to series fans, you actually can put a number on how much real-world suffering is okay for the sake of entertainment.

sylvie is not a narcissist to fall in love with herself - interesting, since in the show LOKI was explicitly labelled one for this exact reason. an “incredible seismic narcissist”, in fact. there wouldn’t be a serious double standard in play at all, would there?

no one cares what you think - well i have evidence to the contrary: both from people who agree with me letting me know; and from those who don’t being unable to resist coming at me and berating me for it. including the person who said this, ironically.

you just hate sylki cos you want to fuck your siblings - another incredible take by a series fan defending the canon ship. i really can’t follow their line of argument here... it’s unclear what message they want me to walk away with. surely if i hated the ship for incest reasons it would be because i DON’T want to fuck my siblings? (for the record, i do not). so that was a confusing one, but it was a real response, so it got included.

[seven-waters-hc]

To celebrate Christmas (and Chopper's birthday), may I request headcanons for Robin, Sanji, and Zoro reacting to their S/O (who's a nurse) planning a surprise for Chopper to celebrate?

Of course! 🌺

Planning To Celebrate Choppers Birthday

「Robin, Sanji & Zoro x Gn! Nurse S/o」

Robin

♡ Walking into the girl’s cabin to see you draw and color in a little birthday card for Chopper makes Robin’s heart melt. And she’s impressed by how much effort you put into making Chopper’s gifts look pretty, using multiple papers and brightly colored ribbons.

♡ She’s not surprised seeing you put in so much effort for his birthday, knowing how close the two of you are because of your shared interests and positions. She adores the friendship between you and Chopper, and makes sure to stay out of the way and focuses on wrapping her own present she got.

♡ She gladly helps with anything you ask her to, and you both have fun preparing the birthday party with everyone, and can barely wait to celebrate with the doctor.

♡ When the 23rd turns to the 24th, Robin wakes up extra early, also waking you up to get ready for Chopper’s celebration. You both camp outside the boys cabin door, waiting for the special crewmate. When you finally see the door open, you duck behind the nearest wall with Robin.

♡ She uses her devil fruit power to sprout an arm to poke Chopper to get his attention, which nearly makes him scream. Robin makes the arm point towards the wall you were both hiding behind, which you both walk out from.

“Happy birthday!”

♡ His eyes go wide with excitement, and he rushes over to hug you both, which you and Robin happily return. You hand him the card you had made along with your presents, and Robin adds hers on top of the small pile the doctor had in his arms.

♡ “Let’s go to the kitchen, I think the food Sanji made is done!” You reveal, Robin leading the Chopper to the kitchen while you go into the boys cabin to wake everyone up.

♡ After getting everyone up, you all join the others in the kitchen, ready to celebrate Chopper’s birthday. You eat and sing and dance the day away, and Robin loved every minute, just as she knew you did.

Sanji

♡ Hearing the clatter of bowls falling and the mixer loudly whirring causes Sanji to wake up and run to the kitchen, thinking Luffy had gotten in again. When he sees that it’s just you running around the kitchen late in the night, he’s initially confused.

♡ You’re a nurse and obviously don’t belong in the kitchen, and it’s 2 in the morning, a very unreasonable time to be cooking. He asks what you’re doing so late, and when you hurriedly explain you’re trying to bake a cake for Chopper’s birthday, he’s more than happy to help out. He starts working on making icing while you work on the batter.

♡ He thinks it’s adorable that you’re putting in so much effort for the Reindeer’s birthday, and enjoys seeing how happy you are to surprise Chopper. Along with the cake you made, he helps with everything else, like decorating the med bay while Chopper sleeps and quickly wrapping the presents you both got for the occasion.

♡ When morning comes, you rush over to the med bay with Sanji and hide, adrenaline taking care of any exhaustion staying up all night would have caused. You bite your lip with barely contained excitement as you hear the door creak open and hear familiar hooves clack on the floor. When he gets close enough, you both pull back the curtains yelling, “Happy Birthday Chopper!”

♡ He nearly jumps out of his skin, obviously not expecting such an early surprise. “Come on,” You grab his by his arm. “we have something for you in the kitchen!” Leading him to said kitchen, Sanji proudly pulls the three-tier cake out of the fridge, which Chopper nearly cries over.

♡ In the end, it’s a success and everybody else wakes up and joins the party, bringing with them their own surprises. Sanji enjoyed how happy you look, and wished the party lasted forever. He was excited for your own birthday to roll around, since he already planned for it to be just as great as this one.

Zoro

♡ Seeing you hole yourself in your room take every opportunity you have to prepare for Choppers birthday impresses him, and he respects your dedication to your crewmates birthday. He does pitch in with helping decorating and whatever else you need his assistance with, but otherwise doesn’t make too big of a deal over the party.

♡ He loves Chopper like family, and is happy to celebrate. But even with all of the birthdays and celebrations the crew has had, he still gets stumped on what to get some people for their birthdays. He’ll go shopping with you, since you take care of the med bay with Chopper and you know what to get him. Seeing you pick out little glasses of rare herbs and candies helps Zoro figure out what to get for the birthday boy.

♡ Since he’s on nightwatch, Zoro told you he would just wake you up before Chopper gets up. He knows very well that Chopper rises with the sun, and just the time to get you. When the time does come, he creeps over to the girls cabin and goes over to your bed to quickly wake you up.

♡ You’re thankful for the little shake he wakes you up with, and instantly you’re up and getting everything you have for Chopper, and waking Robin and Nami up to get ready. After that, you’re nearly running out of the room with Zoro and the girls in tow, all of you still in your pajamas, too excited to even think to change.

♡ You all go across the deck to the boy’s cabin, and by the time you’re there, Chopper is just coming out. You and everyone else rush over to give your crewmate your gifts and sincerest birthday wishes, giving Chopper his own gift and wishing him a happy birthday.

♡ You then go in the boys cabin with Zoro and wake everyone up, and end up having to push Luffy out of his hammock for him to wake up. All of you go out to the deck, where Sanji is setting up breakfast and Chopper is opening his gifts.

♡ As soon as everyone is there, you all begin singing happy birthday to Chopper, who blushes a bright pink from all the attention. You finish singing and everyone else hands over their gifts before eating. The whole day was ahead of you, and you couldn’t wait to celebrate your best friend’s birthday some more.

Thank you for your request! <3

This was a little late I apologize (;^_^)

[lunyzare]

On Izuna and how he is presented in the manga

Izuna is an interesting character, despite almost never appearing in the manga. From the very first time we see him in manga, we know he will die and that with his death the secret of eternal mangekyo sharingan was uncovered.

He is introduced to a reader as character from the past, before the village was formed. What is very interesting about his character, is that in most cases anyone who mentions him, talks about him in regards to another character, usually Madara (but also Sasuke).

In this post I will try to analyse the way other characters (excluding Madara) talked about Izuna.

Itachi introduced Izuna as Madara’s nameless younger brother. From Itachi’s description we could say Izuna was power driven individual who would even kill his closest friend to obtain new/bigger power. He was one of the two first Uchihas to ever awaken mangekyo sharingan (the other one obviously being Madara) and became a head of the Uchiha clan. In one of the panels we can even see Izuna and Madara standing on a hill with rest of the clan kneeling and bowing behind them. They look superior, like coldhearted warriors. Itachi’s version ends with Madara stealing his brothers eyes and obtaining EMS.

What is interesting, is that at the end, Izuna is painted as a victim in Itachi’s story, victim of Madara and his obsession with power – this is probably because Itachi tried to make sure Sasuke would see Madara as ruthless monster and therefore would never listen to him. As such, Izuna served to Itachi as a tool, a tool to demonstrate a point and that point being that Madara is evil.

Of course, Itachi’s version ended up being a lie – Madara didn’t steal Izuna’s eyes, like Itachi said, Izuna himself gave up his own eyes for Madara. We first hear of this difference in Obito’s story, when he revealed the truth to Sasuke. Izuna in Obito’s version is treated like a necessary sacrifice. His eyes served a purpose and that purpose is that Madara became stronger and was therefore able to lead the Uchiha clan to brighter future. Which means that even in this version Izuna is treated more as a tool, a tool that served it’s purpose, although this time willingly.

Third time we hear of Izuna, it’s in Hashirama’s flashback. Here is Izuna once again introduced as Madara’s younger brother and we finally learn of his death – by Tobirama’s hand. The difference between previous versions and this one is that here Madara is actually presented as a “once kind man who became bitter, power driven and evil” after losing his brother. Which is a difference considering he was so far presented as an unhuman monster. Hashirama didn’t say anything concrete about Izuna, only about how much he was loved by Madara:

Here we can see it. This part was after Tobirama explained the curse of hatred and this was Hashirama’s first reaction. He didn’t deny Tobirama’s words at all, as a matter of fact from this reaction we can even assume he might agree with it, or at least agree that Madara is “unreasonable” and “in darkness” (which from his and Konoha’s perspective is true). And from Hashirama’s words it seems Madara is “in darkness”, because of Izuna’s passing. This gives Izuna a new important role, a role he didn’t have before. Before the most important things about him were his eyes that he gave Madara, now he has importance as a person, as someone who lived, breathed and walked upon the same ground as other characters and had an effect on people closest to him. He feels more real.

Then there is of course the (supposed?) resemblance in looks Izuna and Sasuke share. I wrote “supposed”, because it is strange Hashirama only mentioned it after Madara got resurrected. He never said anything about it before. However even if they shared similar features, it didn’t achieve what Hashirama wanted. Instead, Sasuke almost died because he trusted Hashirama’s words and Madara was already settled he will sacrifice “even his child, brother...” (similarly to Hashirama) to achieve his dream. Ultimately the concept of Izuna and Sasuke looking alike served to let the audience know of Madara’s resolve. And also to show how much Hashirama’s words (and betrayal) affected Madara.

These are the four times someone other than Madara talked about Izuna. As I have written above, Izuna is always connected to another character, most often to Madara.

[rlyc00l]

Hi ! Your posts about Tales are very interesting, I was wondering if you were to make improvements to Rhys' character development, what would you change about the story or even write for him specifically? I was trying to think about it myself because I love fixing flaws in certain stories, but it's been a while since I last played so my memory isn't serving me well haha

okay first off, he and Zer0 fall in love and he moves in with them on Sanctuary and-

(Okay omg, I had a lot of thoughts about this, sorry if this turns into a wall of text. It’s also been awhile since I’ve last played through, so maybe Tales did a better job of some of this than I remember, but, yeah.) First off, a lot of the issues with Borderlands comes from writers who do not know their own themes. I think this is a case of scifi taking from older explicitly political scifi without actually understanding it, but still picking up a lot of the political elements with everything else. This doesn’t become SUPER apparent until BL3 (what with the Elon Musk gun and good guy corporations) but there’s elements of it within the other games (especially in Tales).

There’s other issues presented from the Telltale game format allowing people to resist Rhys having any character growth even when the story implies it, but I’m just going to ignore that here because playing like that requires Rhys to be unreasonably stupid (or, let’s just pretend these changes are for playing the better versions of Rhys). 

Anyway, if we want to fix Rhys within Tales itself: 

-In canon Rhys comes to Pandora already judgmental about people who live there, but he never actually seems to reckon with the fact that Pandora is how it is, with trash and bandits everywhere, specifically because of megacorporations exploiting the planet. Given that Fiona and Sasha are right there it would be really easy to have someone open his eyes about that instead of just “Hyperion and Atlas specifically were being evil”. 

-Goes with the last point, but considering that Rhys has Jack in his head, there’s plenty of opportunity for Rhys to realize “oh part of all this evil stuff wasn’t even just Jack being abnormally monstrous, it’s just a normal part of getting super rich”. Like the eridium mining? (But again, the writers apparently did not realize this. I think they legit believed Rhys could have all that power and money without doing anything too horrible.) 

-We need to throw out the Atlas deed. Either it doesn’t exist or, Rhys happens upon it after Helios’s fall, the ticket to his dreams, and rips it up, disillusioned (which would be a pretty good moment to demonstrate character growth). If Atlas needs to come back in BL3 it comes back it’s under another’s leadership. (Or, stupider, but we could still give Rhys Atlas but have him use its resources in a non-megacorporation-y way while still manufacturing guns???? Doesn’t really make any sense but IDK the whole “he has a piece of paper and now everyone in this ancap hellhole galaxy accepts his ownership of this corporation’s properties” thing is kind of nonsense. I don’t like this idea but this was kind of what I expected them to do with Rhys back in the day.) 

-Seriously, just let Rhys lose–or at least don’t reward him tangibly before we’re in the Tales framing story. Make him kind of directionless and desperate (more reason to want to make amends with Fiona and open that Vault). By the end of the story make him actually go on his own path, with new goals than what he started with. He can be disillusioned with corporate life, but realize that his ambition and skills can be used elsewhere and he can still find fulfillment. (IDK a solid place to go with this, and IDK if it even needs one more than the implication that Rhys is going to figure things out and feels some optimism about it. Rhys obviously has a variety of useful skills and traits.) 

You can also fix Rhys after Tales: 

-Maybe Rhys tries to get Atlas running out of some misplaced sense of “After all I’ve been through and all the people who died because of my ambitions I can’t just throw this away”. It’s rough going and his heart isn’t really in it. Either he fails or something happens that makes him realize this isn’t the right path.  -Let him LOSE in BL3. He escapes with his life and just hangs around Sanctuary and is really depressed and pathetic (but like, in a funny way). In the end he starts getting his shit together and finding a different path.  -Or, dumbest option, just don’t put him in BL3 while putting Atlas there? Keep shit vague lol. 

The main point I have is that Rhys as a character would be really benefitted by failure. 

(For the record I don’t want Rhys to be a completely good and benevolent person in the end because that’s not very Borderlands and part of the reason I love Rhys is he’s a bit of an asshole.)

[fanmoose12]

hiiiii🤗🤗 just wondering,have you ever write a levihan au where one of them is a school/university athlete and the other is like their admirer or besfriend, that never fails to come to every single match and is the loudest cheering audience? you know how it goes hehe..

this idea just pop in my mind and i just have this idea where levi is like the top player be it any kind of sport (ehem! how bout basketball😏 or maybe volleyball 😍) and hange is like the secret admirer who came to cheer for him in every match, although hange tries to be discreet an all that, levi notice her anyway bcos she's famous(hange's a school president i think😁), and clever and kind and pretty and on top of that he also has a crush on her.😳😳

p/s: just an idea., and i reaaally hope this ask gets to you. THANK YOU VERY MUCH😙

With but a few minutes left before start of the game, Levi scans the bleachers, his eyes narrowed and gaze focused. He knows what - who - he's looking for but- he can't find the person he expects to.

He looks over gym once more, this time slower, more careful. And still he doesn't see the glint of glasses and the mop of brown hair.

Where the fuck is that insolent four-eyes? Why Levi can't see her?

Usually, she sits in the first row, claps the loudest, cheers the loudest, fucking jumps every time Levi's team score.

...Not that Levi pays much attention to shitty glasses or what she's doing. She's just... hard to miss.

And that's precisely why he noticed that she's absent during tonight's game. There is no other reason - obviously, Levi doesn't expect, wait or want for her to show up. And he doesn't care where she is, he doesn't worry that something might have happened.

Four-eyes probably forgot about the game. Or is caught up in her studies. Or maybe she got sick of the volleyball or him and-

Okay, alright, maybe, he does care about four-eyes. Just a little bit. It's not serious. She's just... a sort of a lucky charm for him. Whenever she's present at the game, they always win.

Naturally, it's not in any way connected to his desire to impress her. Who would want to impress some dorky nerd anyway? Although... as nerdy as she is, four-eyes is certainly... an eye-catcher.

Not that she catches Levi's eyes, of course, but her face is- pleasing to look at. Maybe. Kind of. Levi doesn't look at her, doesn't stare in fascination.

And he doesn't care if four-eyes shows up for the game or not.

They'll win anyway, they always do.

---

They lose the first set. Spectacularly. Shockingly. Shamefully.

Levi scowls as he trudges back to his team, his head hanged low to avoid the annoyingly pleased smirk on the face of the captain of the opposing team. Zeke is way too gleeful for someone who has lost all the previous matches in the season. So, yeah, maybe, the Scouts are not at their best today. They'll still give Warriors a run for their money in the second set.

Probably. If Levi manages to get his shit together.

"Everything alright?" Mike, his teammate, asks.

Levi grimaces instead of answering.

Is everything alright? No! Because he spent the entirety of the first set, wondering where the fuck four-eyes is. If she got bored of volleyball, she could have... told it to his face. Not just abandon him like that, without any kind of warning.

And it's stupid, unreasonable, Levi doesn't remember ever having as much as a conversation with her, but- he feels like he was dumped.

By a person he had exchanged all but a couple of words and a few dozens of meaningful gazes with. Certainly, his loneliness is reaching new heights every day.

The giant scoreboard taunts him, yet another evidence of his loss. Levi glances at it - as briefly as he can - to check when the second set is going to begin. Levi curses - less than a minute left.

Fuck. So, another embarrassment awaits him?

And just then, when all hope leaves and Levi's spirits lower, that's when four-eyes enters, waltzes inside the gym, hastily shoving people aside to get to her usual place in the first row.

What a fucking asshole. He almost lost another set because of her- her absence, to be precise.

But for now - the game is afoot.

When the game is over, after Levi wins, he'll have a couple of words with four-eyes.

---

After thirty minutes of running, jumping and sweating, Levi's team wins the second set. By a landslide.

And then they win the third one too.

Levi briefly pats Mike's shoulder, high fives several other team members, gives Zeke a victorious smirk and a middle finger, and then leaves the celebration to seek his goal.

Which allows them - thank fuck - to win the entire game.

Four-eyes is by the exit when he catches up with her.

Levi seizes her elbow and stirs her aside, away from the curious gazes of other students.

"You were late to the game," is the first thing he tells her.

Four-eyes opens her mouth. Promptly closes it. Then opens it again.

"You noticed?" and then, before Levi can give any sort of reply, she adds, with no small amount of bewilder, "So what if I did?"

Four-eyes seems lost, even more confusion appearing on her face. "I... don't follow."

"So what?" Levi gasps. So what, she asks! How dare she! "We almost lost because of you," he hisses.

Levi curses. Then turns away from her. Runs a hand through his hair. Right words still elude him.

He tries to explain anyway.

"We always win when you're present at the game. And when you didn't show up at the beginning..."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he nods, pleased that four-eyes is smart enough to catch up with him.

"So you're saying..." the confusion is all but gone from her face, eyes and voice. Now she's showing him a brilliant smile. "That I'm your lucky charm?"

No. Of course, he didn't mean that. He didn't, right? Levi rewinded their conversation. Fuck, perhaps... he did mean that.

Shit.

Well, anyway, what's said is said. No point denying it, it'll only make it worse.

"Maybe, you are," he grunts at last. "So if it won't inconvenience you terribly... don't be late to the next game. I'll... treat you to dinner after that."

Instead of a joyful outcry Levi expected, four-eyes cocks an eyebrow. "Are you that desperate to win?"

"That," Levi agrees, tilting his head to compensate for the difference in their heights. "And I also want to... get to know my lucky charm a little better."

"Oh," four-eyes blushes, adorably so. Something inside Levi's chest tightens, his stomach fluttering pleasantly. "If that's so, I'll be sure to arrive early."

Levi nods, a bit numbly, not knowing what else to say. Four-eyes helps him with that as well.

"See you later," she promises, and disappears into the crowd.

Levi watches her go for another moment, then goes to return to his team.

He smiles as he rejoins them. They won this game, and with four-eyes' help, they'll win another one.

---

It's the end of the season and the tensions are high as ever. Scouts are facing Warriors once more, and the shadow of their last game is as ominous as ever.

Warriors think they can push a little more, and the victory is theirs, along with a championship.

But Levi knows better. His lucky charm, his four-eyes is by his side, and when Hange kisses him, whispering 'good luck', Levi knows for sure - there is no way he can lose. Not when Hange is watching him.

And when he scores the last point, he does it for her.

[wildlyglittering]

The Perils of Being Mr. Nesta Archeron

It’s important you understand this is my incredibly poor attempt at comedy and I just wanted to write some nonsense.

This popped into my brain after seeing all the posts about how awesome Nesta is and how she had a ridiculous amount of marriage proposals and interest from human men, fae males and demons alike. 

I just kind of took it from there...

***

“I still like what Nesta’s done to the place.”

Feyre looked around the grand drawing room of the House of Wind, her dozing son on her lap and her bored mate at her side who murmured something which could be taken as an agreement while pulling off imaginary pieces of lint from his sleeve.

The House was now Nesta’s, in as much as anything sentient could truly belong to anyone, and as such was rarely used for official Night Court business. Its predominant function was as home to Nesta, Cassian and a reluctant Azriel, who’d been gifted the responsibility of ‘supervisor’ – a gift which Feyre suspected he’d like to return.

The Inner Circle still held Starfall at the House and, like now, the High Lord and High Lady of Night, would visit. When she visited alone, Feyre visited in the capacity of sister and friend but when with Rhys, it was all work.

Nesta and Cassian had embraced their titles as the Lord of Bloodshed and Lady Death and their combined reputations proceeded them sending them into every corner of Prythian and the many dark outer reaches was a tactic Rhys now employed.

The aim was to achieve negotiations and encourage peaceful surrenders where necessary but if there was resulting collateral damage, it was of little consequence to Rhys.

The other reason that the House was seldom used for official Night Court business was the unnerving issue of the House itself. Whilst the majority of the architecture remained unchanged there was the occasional surprise addition. Or subtraction.

Amren discovered the House’s penchant for the latter when, on one uninvited call, she opened a door which should have led to private chambers only to find herself plummeting through the air onto the ground. She swore blind the House foundations quivered like it was laughing.

Feyre wondered how independently the House acted from Nesta and how much it carried out her wishes. She suspected that this room, the grand drawing room, had been one of Nesta’s heart fulfilments or, at least, something for Cassian.

The room was sizable, entered from the hallway via a series of doorway arches wide enough for splayed Illyrian wings. Oversized plush furniture filled the room and the floors were strewn with thick sable rugs.

The most spectacular draw to the room was the window which stretched from ceiling to floor and from wall to wall on the side opposite the doorways. The view, one across Velaris’ golden rooftops and shining turquoise waters of the Sidra, filled the space like a painting.

Feyre sighed, at least this current visit was expected and so they weren’t risking the windows opening of their own accord to fling them out. The occupants of the House had been gone for longer than anticipated on this task and so Rhys sent ahead a message that he wanted a full debrief when they returned.

Feyre opened her mouth to speak again but stopped when she heard the thud of boots and flutter of wings.

“Finally,” Rhys said with a glance towards Nyx whose eyes flickered open.

“He’ll be happy see Aunt Nesta,” Feyre said in a sing-song voice to her now awake baby, turning him so he could view the entrance. “He loves Aunt Nesta.” She wasn’t above using her infant son as a tactic to avoid her eldest sister’s potential irritation at the intrusion into her home.

Rhys eyed up the shaking walls, “Yes, as does the House.”

Nesta entered first and Feyre breathed a sigh of relief that the floor remained solid underneath where she sat.

“Hello,” Nesta said, her voice soft and cooing. Her welcome wasn’t to her sister or brother-in-law but to the now beaming baby in Feyre’s lap whose legs and arms flailed in the air as he wriggled.

Nesta stepped further into the room, treading over the rugs, arms outstretched, “Come to Aunty Nesta.”

The vast windows let in the bright sunlight, sunlight which illuminated the state of the Illyrian leathers Nesta had clad herself in.

Feyre shrieked, twisting in the chair and blocked Nyx from Nesta’s grasp, pointing at her sister’s waist. “What is that?””

Nesta paused and frowned, looking down.

Aside from the interesting splotches of red across the leathers, the utility belt tightened around Nesta’s waist contained the usual items Feyre expected; knife, pouch, knife, another knife and then... another item she hadn’t.

A leather strap was wound in multiple knots around the thick band and tied to an uneven, lumpy dome the other end. The lumpy dome ended in a stump clotted with congealed blood.

“Oh,” Nesta said with a shrug, “I forgot.” She untied the leather strap and pulled the lump away. “Just another one for the collection.” With a graceful arm movement, Nesta threw what Feyre realised was a decapitated head onto the floor where it landed with a thud, a dribble of blood oozing fresh from the neck wound.

“Well, you can’t hold the baby until you’ve washed your hands. Thoroughly.”

Nesta frowned at her, an ice-cold glare fixed on her face. “Fine,” she snapped, as though Feyre’s request was unreasonable.

Cassian, unlike her sister, had taken some time to remove his blood encrusted leathers before greeting his guests, and he wandered in through the arch with a nod of his head towards Feyre and Rhys.

His hazel eyes noted the bloodied head by the door and he released a sigh.

“You need to stop doing that.”

“The House doesn’t mind.”

The shutters covering the windows in the other rooms started to clatter up and down.

“See?”

“Yes, but I mind and besides,” he gestured across to Feyre, “an infant is present.”

Nyx, now bouncing on Feyre’s lap, slapped his hands together as hard as he could in time with the House. He gazed at Nesta as though she’d sliced her way through necks especially for him.

“He doesn’t care,” Nesta said in a sing-song voice eerily similar to the tone Feyre herself used earlier. She beamed at her nephew, “He’s clapping with the House.”

Rhys’ face turned white, “The House is applauding you?”

“Oh yes,” Az said, arriving at last and pushing his way through where Cassian and Nesta stood to flop down onto the armchair next to Feyre. “Nesta always gets rapturous applause when she brings home a kill.”

Feyre glanced from Azriel, legs sloping over one armrest while his head flopped across the other, to Nesta and then onto Cassian who was pinching the bridge of his nose.

“As much as I am ecstatic to see you all,” he said, “I’ll leave Az to deal with the debrief. I need to go lie down for a while.”

Cassian exited as swift as he entered, Az not bothering to open his now closed eyes. The concerned glances of the other room occupants followed Cassian’s retreating back.

Nesta turned back to Feyre, the ice-cold glare melted away. “Excuse me while I disappear.” Then, in a heartbeat, her expression was one of joy, “Bye-bye baby, I’ll see you in a little bit for snuggles.”

Nyx let out a small sob as Nesta left and Feyre quickly turned him towards her, readying him for a feed, knowing that the small sob would turn into a loud shriek.

“Well,” she said, “she obviously prefers Nyx to me.”

“Feyre, darling – you got spoken to,” Rhys said. “I think it’s safe to say Nesta didn’t acknowledge my existence. Which I’m fine with,” he added, nervously eyeing up the House’s stone walls, “whatever makes her happy.”

Nyx, thankfully, latched onto Feyre’s bared breast and for a moment no noise sounded in the room other than his greedy milk-hungry gulps.

A thought played over and over in her mind though; Nesta’s look of concern, Cassian’s uncharacteristic broodiness. “Are they ok?” she asked Az, at the same time Rhys enquired as to how the recent mission went.

Az’s eyes fluttered open and he gestured to the head on the floor. “As you can tell – we won.” Then, his voice gentler, he turned to Feyre, “They’re fine.”

“Is Cassian upset at the violence? At Nesta doing the um...,” and using her free hand Feyre motioned across her throat with a finger.

Az laughed, such a rare sound it reminded Feyre of the bells on Solstice evening. “Not at all. He likes that she does those things it’s just-”

He paused.

Rhys, satisfied that the mission went well and not caring about anyone’s romantic woes, settled back into the loveseat while Feyre leaned forward, careful to not disrupt her feeding son.

Azriel nodded towards the head, “Before the Anguis went the way of Hybern and the Kelpie, he managed to propose.”

“Not another one!”

“Don’t worry,” Azriel said, “I’m sure Nesta is reassuring Cassian of her love as we speak.”

As though cued up with expert timing, or, as Feyre suspected, the House lifting a self-imposed sound barrier to prove a point, the thumping drifted down to the grand room from several floors up.

“That was...fast.”

Suddenly Azriel appeared just as exhausted as Cassian had. “Nesta reassures Cassian of her love at least twice a night anyway, and when she’s done reassuring him, he feels the need to thank her back.”

Feyre winced, her face contorting into one of displeasure while Rhys didn’t try to hide his smirk. “This is what – the fourth proposal? Fifth?”

Az closed his eyes and dropped his head backwards once more. “Ninth. This isn’t the worst we’ve had.”

Nyx snuffled and Feyre moved him to her other breast. “Wasn’t the first in the Winter Court?”

They’d been in Winter for the naming ritual of Kallias and Viviane’s baby and once the ceremony was done, all guests mingled in the palace hall. The High Lord and Lady of Winter stood on the dais, draped in silver and grey, Viv beaming as she held her pink cheeked daughter.

The music, food and wine flowed freely but Feyre could barely hear the former over the laughter of the high fae and the chime of glasses as toast after toast was declared. The Inner Circle members had dispersed throughout the crowds earlier, all intent on seeking their delight in various forms.

Feyre had seen Nesta on the dance floor for the opening songs but she’d long since gone and Feyre wondered if Nesta and Cassian had snuck away to take advantage of the Winter palace’s numerous private bedrooms.

She had done her duty as High Lady of Night, walking around the hall, ice blue gown sashaying around her legs as revellers congratulated her on the arrival of her own child.

Feyre had smiled and thanked them but she tired easily after Nyx’s traumatic birth and it wasn’t long before she sought out the fur-decked chaise longue tucked in one of enclaves on the far wall.

As Feyre made her way towards it, movement from the corner on her right drew her attention.

Nesta was standing by another enclave, glass in hand, virulently shaking her head. Nesta’s golden-brown hair had been braided into a complex knot adorned with diamonds which caught the fae lights and casted shapes on the ceiling. It had been this that captured Feyre’s eye.

“No,” Nesta said, “I don’t think so.” She smoothed down a non-existent crease on her dress, a pale grey-blue that shimmered like mist over ice, ever changing.

The male she was speaking to was some high-ranking courtier from Winter who Feyre had been introduced to earlier that evening but whose name escaped her. He was tall and handsome enough, gazing at her sister with sapphire blue eyes, but Nesta’s demeanour suggested nothing other than sheer boredom.

Cassian emerged from the crowds, seemingly drawn to what was happening in the corner of the room like a moth towards a flame, his body screaming nothing but fury. Still, he interjected himself between Nesta and the Winter male with a decorum Feyre felt he should be proud of. His fists were clenched and his jaw twitched as he ground his teeth but there was no violence. Yet.

Feyre moved quickly to them.

Side by side there was no contest that Cassian was the larger, broader and less refined male. He wore scuffed Illyrian leathers and the most he’d done for the event was clean his hair and tie it back.

The courtier wore ivory silk brocade strewn with pearls and viewed Cassian up and down with a sneer.

“And who, exactly, are you?”

Cassian spat out his answer, “Her mate and husband and your executioner – you are?”

“Ah yes,” Rhys said. “The naming ball. Was it just the one dance Nesta performed before she had the males panting over her?”

“Still,” Feyre said, “that one was the easiest to smooth over. No one was killed. Or maimed.”

“I think the proposal with Chrysos was when Cassian was aware this was going to be a repeat issue,” Az said.

Chrysos stood before them, undulating between the visage of a male and of something else, something other – possibly human but not quite. His skin was translucent and his gold blood ran through his veins, clear to their eyes, like streaks in white marble.

He was horrifying and beautiful and Feyre struggled to tear her eyes away.

“I must marry you,” he said, directing his words to Nesta. Chrysos’ voice echoed around the cave chamber, strangely melodic, a harmony of angels singing in chorus, one voice on top of another. “I shall make you my Queen and take you into the darkness where we shall make the sweetest music and-”

Nesta’s shoulders sagged, energy sapped from her as she gave a frustrated sigh.

“What the fuck?!”

Feyre jumped at Cassian’s yell, the noise bouncing from the tops of the cave to the bottom, deep into the darkest part and back again.

“Seriously! For fucks sake, I am standing right here!”

Rhys chuckled. “That ended quick enough if I remember?”

“We were on a recruitment mission though, we wanted him on our side,” Az said, “not dead.”

“Cassian maintains he slipped.”

“From six feet away?”

“Yes.”

“With his sword aloft?”

“I didn’t think the proposal in Summer was too bad,” interrupted Feyre, now with Nyx resting against her shoulder so she could pat his back with soothing circles.

The party on Tarquin’s barge was held at the height of the season the Court was most famous for.

The weather was idyllic; sunshine beating down on Feyre’s skin, endless blue skies stretching ahead while a cool ocean breeze drifted from the teal waters teaming with coral. Dolphins pranced in the frothy waves around them, shimmering and shining, their scales a rosy pink.

“Look, Nyx, look!” Feyre held her cooing baby high, pointing the dolphins out to his curious violet eyes.

The barge moved at a comfortable pace and again, like all parties the High Lords arranged, the music, food and wine flowed. Guests streamed from the top desk to the lower one and lower still when they felt like taking to the private cabins, the heat in the air turning into heat in the blood.

The decks were vast enough to not see the same individuals constantly but small enough to see them often and Feyre had smiled every time she walked past a relaxed Cassian and Nesta.

On their first stroll about the deck, Nyx had been awake and grinning, Nesta peppering his small face with a flood of kisses that had him squealing and his limbs flailing with joy. Cassian had joked about knowing his place in the pecking order and Nesta smiled at him in turn.

Cassian’s hair was tied back into a loose bun, strands of black hair falling past his jaw. It was too hot for leathers and, with his white linen shirt with sleeves rolled up to expose the black tattoos on his arms, he was the most casual Feyre had ever seen him.

Nesta stunned in a dress of blue which started ice blue at her shoulders before blending into a shade so dark at the hem it was almost black. The front was a demure and delicately scalloped neckline but Nesta’s back was entirely bare, held up by invisible straps.

Multiple pairs of eyes glanced their way but Nesta’s hand never left Cassian’s and his free one travelled the length of her spine dipping beyond the fabric at her lower back.

You’re borderline indecent, Feyre told them with pretend outrage and continued to walk the deck.

The second time Feyre passed them, they had been talking to Tarquin and Feyre only caught a brief snippet of their conversation, trying to settle a now restless Nyx against her shoulder.

“One apology,” Tarquin had said, “that was my mother’s favourite building.”

On Feyre’s third pass, Nyx now in Rhys’ arms, Tarquin had gone. In his place stood a fae Feyre didn’t recognise.

“I had turned away for a couple of seconds,” Cassian said, his hands in fists, “and you thought this was your opportunity to sneak in here like a panting-”

“Cassian,” Nesta warned, “we don’t want another incident in this Court.”

“Well, there will be one if this prick doesn’t move out of here. We’ll see how he fares with my foot up his as-”

“Cassian!”

“She’s married and mated. Can’t you see the matching rings? Can’t you smell the mate bond?”

The high fae nodded his head, “Yes, but...”

“But? But what?! That’s it,” Cassian said, “we’re leaving this fucking party.”

Rhys and Az stared at Feyre as she burped Nyx, their mouths open.

“What?” she asked.

“You didn’t think it was too bad?” Rhys said, his voice incredulous.

Feyre shrugged, “No one died and no wars were started.”

“They’d only just removed the ban on Cassian to have to enforce it again.”

“I don’t think the second ban was fair though.”

“Feyre, darling. He destroyed the barge.”

“We spent hours fishing everyone out of the sea,” Az said. “Then we had to work out where Nesta’s unfortunate suitor had landed after Cassian threw him towards the cliff.”

“Wasn’t he clinging onto the side of the rockface?”

“Yes.”

“And didn’t Cassian destroy another building in his haste to get away?”

“Yes.”

“Alright,” Feyre said, frowning. “So maybe it was bad.”

“I quite liked the proposal from Locuples,” Az said, “that was the best for all involved. No one died and we ended up with a pretty good trade agreement.”

“Oh, I remember that,” said Feyre, “I was here when Nesta and Cassian came back.”

Feyre and Az had been in the grand room, as they were now, sitting opposite each other in companiable silence. Steam from their tea cups swirled in the air and Feyre gazed out the windows at the white clouds over the city.

“What the-?”

Feyre’s head snapped round, surprised at the uncharacteristic shock in Az’s voice. He stared towards the door archways and Feyre followed his eyeline.

Cassian and Nesta had returned, surprisingly quietly, as she hadn’t heard them land on the roof. Or perhaps, looking at the display in front of her, they’d travelled by some other means.

Nesta sat on a throne on an open topped litter, carried by two lithe creatures who were more shadow and smoke than real and whose feet never touched the ground. Nesta herself, bedecked with jewels, a tiara and clutching a sceptre, wore an expression of confusion.

Cassian followed on foot, wings tersely tucked in, heaving a trunk filled with gold, jewellery, silks, furs and bottles which wafted exotic scents.

Cassian glanced at them from the corner of his eye, “Don’t ask.”

“I thought we expected this to be a hostile negotiation?”

“I said don’t ask.”

“We still receive gifts on a monthly basis,” Feyre said and slid to the floor to lay a barely awake Nyx on the soft furs - one of those aforementioned gifts. She traced a thumb on the arch of his foot and watched it curl, his lips smacking in contentment.

Feyre swore the floorboards underneath him adjusted to accommodate his shape.

“Don’t you receive monthly gifts from Helion as well?” Rhys asked. “Or did Cassian put a stop to that?”

“Cassian put a stop to that one,” Az said.

“Doesn’t Nesta still have the first gift though?”

Az groaned and placed his scarred hands over his eyes. “Yes, and I cannot express how much upkeep it takes.”

Feyre smiled, “Oh, I remember that one too.”

The shriek took Feyre by surprise and she leapt from her chair, readying herself for action. It was only seconds before she realised it wasn’t a shriek of pain but one of sheer, childlike joy.

Once again, her and Az were in the House and, once again, she hadn’t heard the arrival of the House’s other permanent occupants.

“In the name of the Mother,” Az breathed and, in what was a familiar pattern, Feyre turned to where he was looking. This time, instead of Az looking towards the doorway, he was staring outwards at the windows.

Nesta, clad in her leathers and with windswept hair was sat astride a glorious white winged horse, her black leather a stark contrast to the white of the creature she sat upon.

“Someone find Gwen and Emerie! They need to know about this; they need to come here!”

With another shriek of joy and a gentle nudge to the horse’s sides Nesta rose higher, the wings of the horse flapping with enthusiasm, happy to appease its new owner.

There was a sigh from behind them and Feyre and Az turned. Cassian leant against the doorframe, fingers rubbing his temples.

“Cass... isn’t that Helion’s last and most prized flying horse?”

“Please – do not ask.”

“That thing is a nightmare,” Az said, “it eats everything, likes very few fae and can somehow find its way into the House in the dead of night. Do you know how terrifying it is to wake to find a winged horse hovering over you demanding sugar cubes while stealing your blanket? I can’t live like this.”

Feyre shot him a sympathetic smile while Rhys laughed. In the brief silence which followed, Feyre could hear the rhythmic banging echoing its way through the house.

“Aren’t they done yet?”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

“At least it will be over soon.”

“Nope.”

“Oh.”

“You think this is bad?” Az said, “You weren’t here after the proposal with the Peregryn.”

To Feyre, the Dawn Court was one of the most beautiful. Its shades of gold and red weren’t bright or ostentatious but were the softer golds found in the rising sun, the reds not vermillion or scarlet but something akin to a dusky rose.

Every town held a thousand clock-towers, every hand matching perfectly, the chimes on the hour synching in a glorious song, calling to the skies in praise of a new day, of promises to be made, of joy to come.

The peace of that particular morning had been broken by the shouts of males, all raised in the ecstatic spirit of competition. Nothing violent or aggressive but it spoke to Feyre of knuckles and bone crunching all the same.

She’d pushed her way to the front of a crowd, the fae recognising her and making room for her to pass. A fighting circle had broken out in a section of the town square, cheers raising into the air as one of the fighters scored a blow.

In the circle stood two males, both tall and broad, barefooted and bare-chested. One had wings similar to the Pegasus which Nesta now owned, white and gold-feathered, and the other had wings as black as night, the rising sun highlighting veins and patches of amber.

A female was eagerly watching them, a female Feyre shoved past fae to move next to.

“Nesta! Why is Cassian sparring with a Peregryn?”

Nesta didn’t tear her eyes from the males. “Some old nonsense about fighting for the right to take my hand.”

Cassian landed a punch to his opponent’s jaw, the crack reverberating through the air as the crowd cheered on.

Sweat trickled down Cassian’s own jaw and onto his neck. His muscles were strained, his abdomen contracting. As the fighters turned positions, his back faced Feyre, black tattoos against dark skin, his shoulder blades gleaming with oil.

Feyre glanced at Nesta who was dressed in a pale peach dress adorned with pearls, her hair up but with soft stands framing her face. She would have looked a wholesome picture of innocence if not for her darkening eyes.

“Shouldn’t you stop this?”

“Probably.”

“Are you going to?”

Nesta’s eyes flickered from the top of Cassian’s head down his back and then, as the fighter’s moved again, to his stomach where they lingered on the trail of hair leading down to the waistband of his trousers. She sighed.

“A few more minutes.”

Feyre blinked as if she could rid herself of the memory. “I can only imagine.”

“If I didn’t visit the river house for dinner I would have starved. The House had to perform a deep clean.”

The walls shook in what was akin to a shudder.

“The bard was wholesome enough,” Rhys said.

Az groaned, “And yet ridiculous.”

 In a concerted effort to apologise to the Courts on behalf of the behaviour of some Inner Circle members during previous gatherings, Feyre and Rhys had invited the High Lords and their significant others to Starfall.

The House remained still, either curious as to who all the guests were or silently sulking that there were guests at all.

The tang of a rich red wine was on Feyre’s tongue, not from anything she had drunk, but from a stolen kiss from Rhys, under the night sky, in a moment solely theirs before it became everyone else’s.

The night was filled with laughter and talking and Feyre slid into the embrace of her mate, content in the knowledge that Nyx slumbered underneath the watchful eye of the House’s nursery, a room which hadn’t existed before this very evening.

Her heart hurt, but in a good way, as though each chamber was bursting with a joy they couldn’t contain and her happiness spilled out into every corner of the rooftop.

Azriel was intently speaking with Nesta’s red-haired friend while Elain watched on from a distance, either not aware of, or ignoring, her own red-haired watcher.

Amren and Mor stood amongst another group, Mor’s golden hair cascading down her back like a waterfall and near the balcony was Cassian and Nesta, pressed side by side, hand in hand as they gazed upwards, Cassian pointing to a constellation.

Nesta glanced at him as he spoke, her face softening in a way Feyre never thought possible, a smile on her lips. When Cassian looked back at her, to check her understanding of what he was saying, he brought their intertwined hands up to his mouth, to kiss her fingertips.

Feyre smiled, all was well and all would continue to be well. That was until a voice, clear and resolute, spoke out into the crowd.

“My High Lords and Ladies and Paramor’s, I am a bard from the Spring Court – famed as the best in all the Courts!”

Chatter drifted into murmurs as heads turned expectedly to the fae now standing in the centre. Feyre noted his lute fixed upon his waistband but the bard made no attempt to reach for it.

“I have travelled across the land, coming to the Court of the High Lord and High Lady of Night with one purpose and one purpose only – to serenade with tales of fortune and love!”

A ripple of anticipation broke out amongst the crowd to hear such songs and Feyre turned to Rhys. “Did you arrange this?” but his face was twisted in confusion.

“I dedicate my melodies to one female, one who understands music as though her very bones were formed by the notes. My song to you, Lady Nesta and also my hand in marri-”

“FUCKS SAKE!”

Feyre let out a sigh. “I felt so sorry for the bard. He must have seen Nesta on one of her visits. To think, he spent all those weeks travelling on foot to arrive to the House and then Cassian threatens to dangle him from the roof.”

“Cassian did dangle him from the roof.”

“No one’s going to invite us to any more parties,” said Rhys with a sorrowful sigh.

“I think we can handle an overly amorous high fae or two,” Az said, “it’s the demons which worry me.”

“They’re no cause for concern,” Rhys said with a wave of his hand. “In fact, we have a valuable asset on our side. Drag Nesta in front of them and it tends to shut them up.”

Feyre frowned. “That is my sister you’re deciding to use as romantic bait. Besides, the issue we had with the Caligo demon was that it didn’t stop talking. There was such a mess.”

Screams filled Feyre’s ears as terrified Night Court citizens ran past her, almost a blur.

Tears streaked down terror-stricken faces as they grabbed the arms of their loved ones and scooped up children too small or young to so anything other than shiver and cry.

Cracks appeared in the ground beneath their feet, the cobbles of the street twisting and turning before jutting upwards like the jagged, sharpened edges of broken bone. The air was thick with acrid smoke which stung Feyre’s eyes causing them to stream with the tears she saw running down her people’s faces.

Rhys was to her right. Or that’s what she hoped. He had been standing but he’d gasped in pain and then she no longer saw him through the gaps in the cloud. When she managed to glimpse him, he was on his knees, thick red blood pouring down his face from a cut on his scalp.

Feyre choked back a sob and clambered over the rips in the earth to reach him.

Steel clashed with steel in the darkness, the shouts of Cassian and Azriel tearing through the blackness as they pressed forward. A shimmer of magic absorbed as much of the darkness away as it could and created a halo around the members of the Inner Circle.

Hands, strong and steady, circled Feyre’s waist and Nesta held her up, helped her over the torn earth.

“I am destroyer,” the thing hissed. “I am consumer, I am flesh ripper and soul tearer and I-”

It turned, watching them all, gloating in their misery and gorging itself fat on their pain. One of its bulbous eyes slid to where they stood, Feyre leaning into Nesta’s side. Her sister’s hair was dishevelled, her arms smeared with blood but Nesta’s eyes remained cold and hard upon the demon.

“And I – oh, oh, you are spectacular.”

A roar ripped through the darkness; a bellowing from powerful lungs as the words of the creature reached the ears of all present.

“Absolutely fucking not!”

Cassian advanced from the void, red siphons blazing as though he were shrouded in flame. “I am her mate; I am her husband and I suggest you put those sloping tongues back into your mouth or Mother help me...”

Feyre swallowed the rising bile. She tried not to think about the events of that night, though she didn’t know what was worse – that night or now, with the thumping above their heads gaining momentum.

“He got the job done,” Rhys said and then smirked, “and he’s doing the same now from the sounds of it.”

“Rhys!” Feyre admonished and placed her hand on Nyx’s stomach to calm herself. “Why do you think he puts up with it?” she asked Az.

“What choice does he have? Besides, he loves and trusts her. There’s no one for him but her and no one for her but him.”

“Disgusting,” Rhys said with slight mockery to his tone.

“No,” Feyre said, “what’s disgusting is the head in the corner.” She eyed up the lump that had once been somethings head; the glassy eyes, the bloodied stump. She wouldn’t relish touching the thing but she would happily remove herself out of earshot of Nesta and Cassian’s post proposal love affirmation. “Where do I take it?”

“The House created a trophy room three doors down,” Az said.

Anguis’ mouth hung open, razor sharp rotted teeth all lined up on display. Feyre felt a slither of pity. “I’ll take it there.”

“No, Feyre darling, I’ll do it.”

Feyre breathed a sigh of relief and nodded before turning to Az. “Shall we wait for them to be done? We need to discuss the next mission which is rather sensitive.”

Az shook his head, “No, you may as well go home. It was a proposal so they’re not stopping until – what day is it now, Thursday? – they’re not going to be fit for purpose until Monday.”

Rhys, still lounging, stretched out into the space Feyre previously occupied. “We can’t wait that long.”

“Do you want to volunteer to interrupt them?

“No.”

Feyre glanced between them both. “Cassian did look rather sad.”

Azriel laughed again, the sound echoing throughout the room, his head thrown back. “Don’t pity Cassian, he knows what he’s doing.”

“And Nesta falls for it?”

“No, she definitely doesn’t fall for it.”

“But isn’t she in their chambers um...reassuring him?”

“Yes.”

Feyre bit her lip, “So surely...”

“Oh Mother,” Az rubbed his hand across his face. “It’s their form of twisted foreplay. When Nesta received a proposal from – well, I can’t remember which one, I came home early and almost went blind. Have none of you questioned the indoor swing?”

Feyre’s voice was quiet when she spoke, scooping up her son into her arms with haste. “I thought they were creating an inside playground.”

“Ah,” Az said, his voice soft, “not quite.”

The thumping reached its crescendo and blessedly, stilled.

“Oh, thank the Mother,” Rhys said, “they’re done after all. Az, go retrieve them. We need to discuss the next mission.”

“Why me?”

“You live here.”

“You’re the High Lord.”

Feyre looked around her, Nyx clutched in her arms. “I think the floor is sloping us out towards the door.”

“I don’t think so Feyre, darling.”

“No really, the head - which you said you’d deal with by the way - is rolling away.”

Feyre wasn’t imagining what was happening, she’d passed under the entrance to the room, Rhys and Az’s chairs beginning to follow.

“This happens,” Az said with a calmness Feyre didn’t feel. “Usually when they don’t want anyone to overhear the next part of their ‘Nesta got proposed to again’ sex marathon.”

“Why? What could they now be planning that’s so much worse?”

“I don’t know,” Az replied, “the House always shuffles me out at this point. One time I was trying to prep my knives and almost stabbed myself in the eye.”

“Right,” said Rhys, “I think we can walk out of here without a sentient lump of stone forcing us to. Which,” he said with an eye to the steepness of the floor angle, “is completely within its’ right.”

Feyre nestled a snoring Nyx into one arm as Rhys helped her up. Az was already on his feet, out the door and into the hallway before he got flattened by an oversized, burgundy armchair.

He turned to them both.

“So, where’s the next mission to anyway? Where are you sending our glorious Lady Death and Lord of Bloodshed and can I sit it out?”

Feyre and Rhys exchanged glances. “I think we might need you in attendance,” Feyre said.

Az raised an eyebrow. “Well, I know King Lascivus is causing some problems with his tithe but as long as you weren’t planning on sending us to his palace, it will be fine. He’s famous for his side hobby of trying to find a muse to depict as the Mother in his artworks. Borderline obsessed.”

Feyre cleared her throat, “Sounds like he’s fervently religiously devout.”

“Hardly. The issue isn’t him trying to depict the Mother but that he’s spent centuries convincing everyone that she needs to be represented in her naked glory and I quote ‘with the petals of her flower fully opened.’”  

Rhys coughed and moved fast down the hallway towards the roof entrance his wings already forming.

“Rhys!” Feyre called out. “You know I can’t run when I’m holding the baby!”

Az’s voice was quiet. “Feyre?”

“You know we love you,” she said, not meeting his hazel eyes, “and you’re always welcome at the river house. For as long as you want, whether that’s weeks or months.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, “I swear on the Cauldron, if you need to you can stay for centuries.”

“Feyre?”

She turned and didn’t look back, picking up her own speed to follow Rhys, ignoring the quiver in Az’s tone.

“We love you Az,” she shouted over her shoulder, propping Nyx into a position ready for flight as the House opened its doors to hasten her exit. “Always remember that.”

TAGGING

@live-the-fangirl-life

@champanheandluxxury

@dontgetsalmonella

@purpleglitterypinecone

[hanibalistic]

#5B52AD | NA JAEMIN. NCT DREAM.

genre | fluff, friendship

word count | 2835

warning | a fever, mention of pain

note | i got kind of sick after my first dose of vaccine and i think about is my mother used to sit and rub my tummy whenever i get tummy ache even when it’s 3am.

your body felt heavy, you could not walk without an awkward arch of your back and at an annoyingly slow pace. you haven't gotten a migraine in so long that the gentle ringing in the back of your head now felt like a gradual decomposing of your brain. your tummy gurgled obnoxiously from time to time, confusing your body and mind with hunger and pain.

long story short, you were sick. you got sick, unfortunately, after a streak of good health for the past years, and you barely knew how to take care of yourself now because of how unusual the occurrence was.

you suspected it was the pouring rain you walked under the other day, or the multiple cold nights you've stood through in the unorganized tent area backstage during award shows this past few weeks. either way, since there weren't any other possible reasons, bad weather was the only thing you could blame your sickness on.

you had contacted the team manager about taking a few days off, leisurely estimating your return date while the manager told you to take your time and make sure to only work once you have fully recovered to avoid spreading your sudden fever to the dreamies when you get back. another thing you also asked of, with more grit and firmness this time, was to make sure the manager leak not a single word of you being sick to the boys.

it was true that you have not been sick in a long while, but so far you have gotten a grip on how it works and adapted to being uncomfortable and alone. reminding yourself to take those over-the-counter medicines was annoying but doable. moving around the apartment so you could cook and clean was exhausting but also doable. you did not need an extra pair of hands; it would definitely be good to have one, but you could survive without one.

you knew very well if the boys knew that you caught a fever, they would insist on visiting and taking care of you.

they would probably try to pull up to your apartment with some homemade soup and old movie discs, rambling on and on about sneaking out and forcing the driver to come to your apartment estate, complaining about you keeping everything a secret from your friends. then they'd get unreasonably mad at you for not visiting a doctor, and they'd force you to stay in bed while promising to take care of everything. they would be loud, and destructive, and annoying and—ugh! everything you do not need when you have a fever burning on your head!

"oh, finally!" you groaned in tired delight when you heard the doorbell ring. you have been waiting on the jajangmyeon takeout you ordered about fifteen damn minutes ago (to be fair, it felt like two hours with that migraine in your head).

shaking the shiver off your back when you stood on the cold wooden tiles with your bare feet, you grimaced at the pair of fuzzy socks you previously pulled off out of spontaneity, not wanting to bend down to get them from the ground. you stepped on then as you moved begrudgingly from the messy couch, where your blanket and tons of pillows resided, to the front door.

you unlocked your door with some trouble, finding it hard to stand on your legs and twist the lock. when you slowly swung open the door, you muttered, "sorry for the delay, it's kind of hard to–huh."

you cut yourself off when you saw the sight of renjun handing cash to your delivery man and patting him on the back as he bowed and left your house with your jajangmyeon. your eyes pulled back to look at the bigger picture—four people present before your apartment door, all wearing the same reaction to your figure uncared for.

renjun has turned his attention back from your delivery man and his grimace deepened when he saw your red face. donghyuck pulled a face at you when he saw your terrible posture and dead expression, and he tightened his grip on the small bag in his hand. jeno was frowning in disapproval with one brow raised as if you were spreading the bacteria to him but he was too polite to cover himself up. jaemin looked like he didn't want to be here, like always, but for a moment you saw his eyes flicker with soft concern over your visibly sick posture.

you sneered. that bastard! the manager snitched on you and here came the power rangers of the 2000s judging you at your front door! you would not take this absurdity!

"goodbye," you muttered blandly before you went ahead to close the door on their faces, but a hand swiftly reached out and blocked the door frame from meeting its end.

jeno smiled casually at you from the side, his arm muscle flexing as he, with no effort against your sickened strength, pushed the door open. you attempted to struggle against him, but obviously you were of no match for him, riddled with a fever or not.

"lee jeno," you warned.

"[full name]," he returned.

you clicked your tongue. you were too dizzy to get angry, but the rumbling inside your chest sounded anyway so you wouldn't be so overwhelmed by the boys' relentless care that you forget you didn't like this nor want this, that this wasn't ideal for you.

"please leave," you asked. "i don't need help."

"no. we're coming in whether you like it or not, [name], so give it up," donghyuck mentioned as he gently brushed past you into the apartment. "and before you ask–no, we are not leaving. we got our phones, and we brought movies. we also have to take care of you, so we got plenty to do here. we won't get bored."

you rolled your eyes as the rest of the boys followed behind. kicking their shoes off and placing them neatly to the side, they slowly began acting as if they were back in their humble abode.

donghyuck headed over to the coffee table before your couch. he grimaced at the sight of falling blankets and unorganized pillows as he placed the bag on the surface, then he turned to renjun, "renjun, where do we put the soup?"

"not on the coffee table, take it to the kitchen!" renjun exclaimed as he pointed aimlessly at a spot.

donghyuck listened. as he made his way to your open kitchen, he began rambling off. "you know, i can't believe you didn't tell us you were sick. i knew something was up when you were absent for more than a day!"

renjun nodded in agreement as he crossed his arms, looking to you with a semi-displeased expression. "he is right. we are all friends here, you should tell us if you need some help."

just having them around your apartment was enough to make you want to jump out the window. it was nothing personal against the boys, though. you would have felt the same with just about anybody who dared enter your territory when you felt uncomfortable. but the way they never stop talking—ugh, it made you want to end it altogether so you didn't have to listen to their voices overlap each other in such annoying frequency.

"if i needed help, i would have asked," you dragged out through gritted teeth.

donghyuck snickered from the sink, rolling his sleeves up and getting ready to do the unclean dishes. "oh yeah, that's why you have no clean bowl and spoon to use!"

"also, why are all your stuff here on the couch, [name]?" jeno complained as he picked up your heavy blankets in his arms. he popped his head out from the side and eyed you. "i'll take them back to your room, you should stay in bed!"

jaemin leisurely approached the coffee table, his face was bland with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants. despite acting like he didn't want to be here, his curiosity to know whether you were doing well alone was killing him inside; you weren't, it appeared. he gazed around your apartment with feign disinterest before an opened box caught his eyes.

bending down to pick up the medicine, he furrowed his brows and turned to you. "these aren't doctor prescribed medicine."

ignoring the drowsiness in your eyes, you looked at the displeasure on jaemin's face before you sighed, "i didn't see a doctor."

"you what?" jaemin exclaimed in disbelief while the rest of the boys gasped in what sounded to be disapproval.

there it went. there came the wave of complaints and disagreement piling out of their mouths like rainwater flooding into the ditch. the migraine in your head magnified the more frustration built up inside you, trying to force you to explode on the boys who only meant well.

"yes, i didn't visit a doctor. stop making a big deal out of it," you retorted, straining your voice to make yourself heard. "do you know how expensive an appointment at the clinic is?"

"still! it's always better to visit a doctor!" renjun pointed out softly.

the others agreed with him like dominos, opinions falling on top of each other in the form of noises. you closed your eyes in hopes to cancel their presence, but they've been talking nonstop it felt impossible to ignore them.

their voices were adding to your nausea, too many words to understand and to process that you felt useless not being able to retain their words as quickly as usual. it made you want to vomit, it made your chest tighten, it made your tummy hurt.

"god... please... shut up," you muttered under your breath as you glared at the floor. "shut up... stop talking... stop talking!"

the heat burst.

"[name]..." jaemin began cautiously, dropping the empty box of pills on the table as he eyed you sturdily.

you grimaced; your lips quirking down in guilt and your eyes darting elsewhere but their faces. seeing their innocent, good-intentioned, widened eyes would just make you feel like a bad person more than anything. shaking your head, you waved your hand at them dismissively and proceeded to turn away.

"thank you for coming, but please leave because i don't need your help," you said, "i'm gonna go to bed. lock the door when you leave."

the boys watched you move back to your room slowly, still surprised at your sudden outburst. they half-expected something like this to happen, but not exactly the way it turned out. they did come here fully prepared to be kicked out kindly knowing well your inability to accept aid from others, but the event has taken a turn for even worse, it seemed. they had not expected you to yell at them.

donghyuck turned away from the sink, his confused gaze darting between the door to your bedroom and the rest of his friends. "we're not actually leaving, right?"

"no, but we will leave them alone," jeno mumbled, fiddling with his fingers. "for now, at least."

jaemin's eyes trailed after your steps and they have yet to tear themselves away from your bedroom door.

he knew you well, better than the rest of his friends if he could say so. even though you might have meant what you said, you wouldn't do anything if they refuse to listen. and the consequences of adhering to your request and leaving you alone when you just did something you didn't want to would outweigh those of them not listening to you.

you don't need help, you never ask for them, whatever reason that was. but you do want them when they were presented to you. he knew that much, at least.

"jaemin, where are you going?" jeno asked when he saw his friend shuffling across the small living room.

nobody talked when jaemin moved to your room and knocked on your door. he pushed it open without waiting for your permission, and the stifled cries stayed beneath the walls unknown to the outsiders. he softened at the sight of you helplessly rubbing your tears with your forearm, wanting nothing more than to coddle you, but he leaned against the door instead.

"feeling bad now, are we?" jaemin said to catch your attention.

your head hurt, the pain was piercing. but nothing shattered you more than realizing you were a bad person for refusing help from good people who cared about you, realizing the mortifying cycle of loneliness you cannot thrust yourself out of because you could not accept any form of good social interaction. you were never one to cry from those whimsical things, you were used to it, but the thought of your friends shuffling out of your apartment and leaving the area dead cold made you cry.

you still have them now, but for how long, really? how many more "leave me alone" and "i don't want your help" would they take until they truly leave you alone for good?

you sobbed out breathlessly, your words continuously getting cut off against your will. eventually, you made out a sentence.

"jae-jaemin, my head hurts."

like a sharp shot through his heart, jaemin wavered and crumbled. he wasn't sure if this kind of melting was good, but he was taking the ache along with him. he approached you swiftly and sat down on the edge of your bed, a spoiled gaze dawning within his eyes while he moved his hand to your head, threading his fingers through your hair and messaging your scalp.

"try going to sleep, it'll help," he coaxed.

the more you cried, the more he sunk himself onto your bed. he kept his head high up against the headboard of your bed, and he let you snuggle close against his side for comfort. your head hastily leaned against his chest, fat tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried to focus on the rhythm of which he scratched your head dotingly.

"shhh, it's okay," he hushed, reaching his free arm over you to pat your back. "it's going to be okay."

jaemin was always so kind. everyone was always so kind. with their homemade soup, their refusal to abandon you at a tough spot, their snark remarks against your constant attacks, their nagging and coaxing—they were your friends.

you never knew why it took so much effort to get it into your head that they were going to be here whether you wanted them to or not. when you pushed them away, they would push back ten times harder, however many times they needed to. they knew you hated blatant affection so they never show it, nor do they make you show it, but it was here. flowing between their heads was love, discreet love, love that sat in patience, understanding, and stubbornness.

you pack a mean punch, but they could take it.

"jaemin... how are they doing?"

jaemin looked up from your sleeping face to find donghyuck at the door. his hands were wet from messing around in the kitchen, and he wiped them clean on his pants as he quietly approached the bed to take a peek at you. he raised his brow when he saw your face smushed against jaemin's chest and hidden under your arm, then he signed.

sleeping, huh. good. he heard you cry from outside a while ago, everyone did. nobody said anything about it and the living rooms were hushed quieter until your sobs gradually calmed down.

"are you going to stay here?" donghyuck asked after he pulled away. "you might get sick."

"yeah," jaemin nodded down at you, "i might."

donghyuck pursed his lips together, then he shrugged. "alright, i'll leave you then. do you want me to turn the lights off?"

"no, i don't want to fall asleep," jaemin said, stroking your head gently. then he nudged his chin toward donghyuck. "i do want my phone though."

donghyuck scoffed when he was by the door. he was only gonna turn the lights off because it would help you, so if that wasn't needed...

"interesting," he said. "i'm not your errand boy, though. you can stay bored."

jaemin held back a hiss when donghyuck ran out to the living room. he grimaced after the opened door, eyes wide in annoyance that donghyuck left the lights on and the door open, that irresponsible bastard! and he wouldn't even run to get a phone, which would only take a couple of steps!

turning his attention, he glanced down at you instead and breathed out a sigh. he wasn't going to be on his phone for long anyway, he just wanted to tell jisung and chenle you were doing okay. other than that, he has the plan to stare at you until you wake up—your scrunchy nose and closed puffy eyes were abnormally adorable, he has to admit.

"yeah, i'll get him," jaemin whispered playfully down at you. "we'll get him when you wake up."

[tora-the-cat]

while I’m on the subject of ‘jesus christ what do you MEAN people skip parts of naruto’......the Pein fillers. The PEIN FILLERS??? I always thoguht it was pretty obviously...breathing room? For the animators lol but also. The audiences hearts? Like we just watched Konoha get BODIED and Itachi (and Jiriya I guess) DIE along with like several OTHER pretty important deaths even if those only last a few episodes you don't know that for SURE at the time and it still has IMPACT and now we're about to get dragged into CONSPIRACY and Sasuke only spiralling FURTHER and the APOCOLOLYPSE and- like. is it so unreasonable to remind us that these kids are kids and love each other and have relationships going back years with both each other and their home? The Pein fillers are mostly tolerable I think because they're all lead into by...one or two or several character in the present, rebuilding their home and/or coming to terms with it's destruction, and still finding it in themselves to remember something cute or funny or childish. It's about the resilience of human spirit when there's something to cling onto. Which, I cannot stress enough, is taken in DIRECT CONTRAST to Pein's perspective that people can only relate/empathize/understand each other through. well. Pain. And these fillers, however stupid and forgettable, are a pretty solid case that he's full of SHIT and even when 'connecting through pain' or whatever, what people are REALLY connecting through is LOVE and HAPPINESS that they're trying to reclaim FROM pain. Pain is NOT the end goal Nagato just needs to, quite literally, BURY his corpses

[unhealthyfanobsession]

I'm bored too,

lets go big or nothing Rhysand / feyre either or both if you like ❤❤

(i lied i have a test a few hours later but im too scared to study anything now)

I’ve already done Rhys and Feyre separately so I’m going to use this opportunity to do Feysand as a unit. I want so badly to just talk about how they are bad rulers but that’s already been said and lots of people agree with it.

My unpopular Feysand opinion is that they don’t actually know their own families. I am not going to say they don’t care because I think they do, but their caring comes from a very “this is what I want so this will make them happy.” kind of place.

I think with Rhys this is largely about wanting to grant “privacy”, but I think about the conversations in ACOWAR where Feyre tries to push him to talk about the whole messed up Mor/Azriel/Cassian triangle and he just keeps saying it’s their business and don’t meddle etc etc but… it’s been 500 years? And we’ve seen from ACOSF and the deleted scene that Rhys has NO PROBLEM controlling/ meddling in peoples lives so what is the logic for never having a conversation with people you consider to be family for 500 years? That’s some toxic masculinity don’t discuss your feeling BS if I’ve ever seen it. Azriel is just always puffing off in shadow and Rhys is like yea that’s just Az who knows where he goes or anything about him certainly not me his brother of 500 years. He obviously doesn’t know Mor…I think it’s presented as having healthy boundaries but my dude there is nothing healthy about these boundaries. Healthy boudnaries are like “don’t force me to talk after I’ve told you I don’t want to and I mean it” not “allow me to angrily disappear into shadow for days, maybe torturing people?, and say and do nothing and ask no questions.” That’s not a brother relationship. That’s an outdoor cat.

And then Feyre. Oh Feyre. I believe she means well but she literally doesn’t know anything about her sisters. Which I don’t even think is unreasonable since she probably put a guard up but her whole opinion of Elain is essentially “sweet. Likes flowers. But still wouldn’t reach me to read if I asked because she’s an evil sister.” Which makes NO SENSE and I think her perspective is why everyone finds Elain so boring. Because we don’t know anything about her because Feyre doesn’t. And then Nesta I mean… ACOSF speaks for itself. The number of things that show Feyre as an unreliable narrator/ just things she didn’t know or remember is astonishing.

I think the Rhys part is definitely worse since Feyre is yknow 22 and also has problems with her sisters but the IC supposedly being family of 500 years and then knowing nothing about each other is just a weird as hell dynamic.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Sick Techno Thoughts

-coming down with something while in one of those good ol adhd working Grooves and therefore only realizing anything's wrong after like the second day of feeling iffy when he full-on faceplants into the ground while stepping out for wood or something and taking a second to realize "hang on is there something wrong with me rn huh"

-being cagey about when he's not feeling well with people he doesn't 100% super ultra trust (possibly because he's just Like That, possibly because at some point in the past he admitted to being off his game to someone he considered friendly, only for them to be like "is this an opportunity to best The Blade?" and,, do? something unpleasant with that information? maybe ???)

-the level of delirium where everything is unreasonably funny, including one's own pain, literally someone just goes "hi how are you feeling" or makes one dumb not-even-that-funny joke and that's the last straw into hysterical laughter

-hybrid physiology weirdness?? specifically thought like Phil probably knows how to take care of him but if, like, Ranboo was the only one present and was able to overthink in the direction of "oh no what if [common remedy] is bad for piglins how do I know what's the right Thing To Do Here–" (Ranboo and Niki have to take care of sick Techno and they're both just like "can't go wrong with blankets and emotional support polar bear and just giving him lots of food right? ...right???" and then probably calling Phil just to make sure) (........unless Phil is also out of commission or otherwise unavailable for whatever reason...)

-this is less sick-specific but the thought of someone trying to get Techno Lore(tm) while he can't give it for whatever reason and Philza's unavailable, they just hit up Skeppy (or Skeppy happened to be making a surprise visit and hears about the issue and is like "well duh it's This, ...dude why are you surprised that I Know These Things")

-sickness brought on by an infected wound! :D

-getting defeated/captured and then coming down with something, and the captors either being like "well heck we gotta take care of this idiot now" or being like "HA what a loser let's bully him even more now" about it

-Wither status effect but as a slow creeping curse-infection-thing

HHHHHH I’m marrying you just for this ask this is the tasty shit I love to receive in my ask box, not just Techno headcanons but WHUMPY TECHNO HEADCANONS

I promise I love all of these a normal reasonable amount and I’m not saving them for later with nefarious purposes no sir

Especially the second one hmm it’s about those trust issues man. Now I’m just imagining Techno getting sick during the Pogtopia era and being all in denial about it because the last time he was sick and told somebody he considered a friend they exploited that moment of weakness to fuck him over and obviously pogtopia would do the same so he’s all :/

(And then he ends up fainting/being incapacitated and the others find out and are like “dude why did you not tell us you idiot :(” and cuddle piles commence)

[paris-torres-month]

FEVER FEBRUARY DAY 2: Wildcard Wednesday

“Welcome home.” “I should go away more often.”

On 2 February, 2000 the episode, Memorial aired. What’s not to love about a Boys Bonding Adventure gone horribly wrong with dirty dishes, a cramped shuttle, and a little implanted memories-induced PTSD thrown in? This episode is a controversial choice on the ‘P/T: Love It!’ list but any episode that starts with such an enthusiastic and public welcome home kiss from B’Elanna, our now PDA-shy heroine, I’ll like!

(Note how the Doc obviously ships P/T hard—as does Neelix, we know he does! LonelyHarry is tired of their romantic shit, & Chakotay just wants everyone to get out of his way so he can get to his quarters and finally poop it’s been a long week fer cripes sakes!)

What do we love about this episode? For one, that kiss! We love the way B’Elanna has obviously missed her man while he was gone. How excited she is to have him home. The way she clings onto him & rubs his arm as they walk to his quarters. She can barely suppress her excitement at the idea of giving him his present.

(Note: this is likely not the first time she’s told Tom to close his eyes and he’s happily complied.)

She’s been keeping busy (while all of her menfolk are gone) by building Tom a surprise that she knows he’ll love: a circa 1956 television set complete with remote control!

She’s provided popcorn, and gets him a beer when his inner-ungrateful-jerk points out that she forgot it. Because beer & tv go together! …my Friday night.

Before everything goes to hell we get treated to another kiss and a glimpse of Tom’s other love…

(note: thanks to lisarm100 for that fabulous gif!)

Then, well, things go to hell. B’Elanna falls asleep on the couch (presumably without any Welcome Home Sexytimes) & Tom sees himself as a soldier in a battle on the television. We soon find out that the away team remember being active participants in a massacre on a planet while they were on their away mission. It unfolds, after half the crew suffer flashbacks & ptsd, that this planet has set a memorial marker with a beacon that implants memories of the atrocities into the minds of unwary travellers who happen to come within range. It’s horrific.

As Tom tries to deal with his guilt and anger he… loses it. Completely. B’Elanna, knowing a thing or a hundred about unwanted, overbearing negative emotions, just wants to help him. But he’s not in the mood to be helped. Sometimes, we just want to feel bad. And scream at the people we love.

She remains cool & collected, calm & in control though we can tell she wants to scream right back because he’s being totally illogical and unreasonable! He apologizes for his outburst immediately, but…

And that’s what we love about this episode. It shows B’Elanna’s emotional growth while, at the same time, displays usually easy-going Tom when he’s pushed to his breaking point.

This is a wonderfully tropey episode: reunion, surprise gift, implanted memories, hurt comfort. Since that was the last time we saw Tom & B’Elanna together in this ep, with her parting words, “You know where to find me” it’s ripe for being used as a springboard for missing scenes, codas, and fixit fics (which usually include a hearty helping of smut). From that warm, loving kiss to Tom screaming in rage & frustration we‘re on an emotional rollercoaster. It’s just too bad the writers didn’t give us a little P/T reunion at the end. Or maybe not. All that fic is a wonderful ode to this fabulous episode.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #42

previously…

Victor

I hope everyone had a great Winterfest! Ours was relatively low-key, but it was fun.

First things first... before I get sidetracked, let me show you my gorgeous Winterfest present from Yuri. He'd been hinting about giving me something special, but I had absolutely no idea it was going to be something like this.

Isn't it beautiful? This kimono and haori were entirely handmade by Seiji's mother, who is a professional tailor. I love the colours and that it has maple leaves on it. It feels really special to have something like this designed specifically for me.

At first, I felt slightly worried about wearing it because I'm not Japanese, but Yuri did his best to assure me that it'd be perfectly acceptable, and that nobody would think I was doing cultural appropriation or something offensive like that. There are appropriate times and places to wear it, obviously, so as long as I stick to those, I think I'll be okay.

I wore it when we all gathered at Seiji's family's house for omisoka on New Year's Eve, and when we visited the shrine on New Year's day. Mrs. Hinamori was thrilled to see me in it, and kept telling me that I was doing justice to her creation.

Just as a side note, in case you were wondering, Japan celebrates the new year on January first, the same as we do in Canada, although the culture and traditions are different . A lot of other countries in Asia celebrate the Lunar New Year, which is usually a little later in January or early in February.

Right. Now that I’ve showed you my one-of-a-kind kimono, we can get back to the update, such as it is. There hasn't been all that much going on for us since our last update, which I realize was a few weeks ago, but we’re definitely not complaining about life being quiet for once.

Yuki spent Winterfest Eve and part of Winterfest morning with us. We had a fantastic time, dressing in our matching pyjamas, playing games and singing songs. Yuki fell asleep in Yuri’s bed while he was reading us a Winterfest story, and we just let her stay there, snuggled comfortably between us. On Winterfest morning, after breakfast and presents, Yuri took her home while I stayed here to get ready for our dinner guests.

In the afternoon, Sakura and Takeshi came over, as well as Taka and Fox, and Fox's twin sister Clancy who was here visiting him for the holidays. Seiji and his parents were at his grandparents' estate in the country for Winterfest, so he didn't join us. We all missed him, and even Clancy asked about him. If I didn't know better, I'd say there's a small spark of something there.

Yuri says I'm being silly, of course. Seiji barely speaks English, and I'm pretty sure Clancy's only Japanese words are konnichiwa and arigato gozaimasu. They can't possibly have any kind of relationship if they can't even talk to each other. But, I mean... Taka's taking language classes now, trying to improve his English for Fox, and it's astounding how quickly Fox is picking up Japanese just by talking with his host family every day as well as hanging out with us. Maybe Seiji and Clancy will be interested enough to start learning each other's languages, too. It could happen, right?

Yuri says I shouldn't meddle, which I'm trying not to do, but I just want everyone I care about to be happy. That's not unreasonable, is it?

I think one of the reasons things have been more stable for us lately is that since returning to Mt. Komorebi, Yuri and I have been trying to distance ourselves from his family's problems. Amazingly, we've been pretty successful in our efforts. We’ve made it to this point in January without being dragged into anything, after all. We still get regular gossip from Yuki, and we listen to what she has to say about everything, but that's about as far into it as we're willing to get. Neither of us is really interested in Hana's pregnancy drama or Mr. Okamoto's alleged affair with the former housekeeper and how he kicked her to the curb when he found out she’s also expecting.

Yuki seems happy that it's just her and her dad at home now. It sounds like they've been doing a lot of things together, including cooking and housecleaning. According to Yuki, even chores are fun when she and her dad do them as a team. They've been doing actual fun things as well, like sledding, skating, baking cookies and playing music together. Yuki says she's teaching her dad to ski. Honestly, I'd be shocked if he didn't already know how, but I'm glad he's pretending not to know so that his daughter can feel like she's helping him learn an important skill.

I'm not sure how Yuri feels, hearing about all Yuki's adventures with their father. I think he's pleased that Yuki is having such a great time, but there's something else underlying his happiness. I can't tell if it's sadness or anger, or maybe a mixture of both. Maybe it's resentment because he wishes his dad would do those things with him.

Yuri doesn't like to talk about his relationship with his father, or their lack of a real relationship, because the whole thing is too emotionally painful for him. All he ever wanted was for his dad to love him and accept him for who he is instead of treating him like an inconvenience and a disappointment, so I can imagine how much it must hurt to know his dad is bonding with Yuki the way he wishes he would’ve bonded with him.

I wish Yuri's dad would love him the way my mom loves me. Like, I've never once questioned her feelings for me. She loves me so hard, I can feel it from ten thousand kilometers away. Every time I talk to her, it's there in her voice and her attitude. It's in her body language when we video chat. I can hardly wait till we get home in the spring, so she can hug me with one of those super tight hugs that says I never want to let you go.

Sometimes I wonder if my father would love me like that if he were still alive. I often tell myself he would, because I think that's the kind of guy he was; open and ready to give something good to everyone he met. And you know what? The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced Julian also loves me that way, like the son he never had. I'm sure Mom loves Ellie like a daughter, too.

At first, I wasn't certain I liked the idea of Mom and Julian getting married, but now I'm more than okay with it because it occurred to me that we're essentially a family already, in all the ways that matter, and I think we have been all along. So, why not make it official?

On the subject of Mom and Julian, they were supposed to be coming for a visit, along with Ellie and Leo, but in light of their wedding, our big move and our Selvadoradan excursion being put on hold for the moment, everyone's decided to stay put. Last week Mom told me that she and Julian want to give their travel money to me and Yuri to help with the down payment on our haunted house. I'm not even joking when I tell you I cried over that. But, you guys know me. I cry over everything.

As for Ellie and Leo, they're using some of their travel money to move out of their respective parents' houses and get a place together. During Winterfest, they finally worked up the courage to tell each other how they feel, and they're now an actual couple. They called me and Yuri to tell us about it, and needless to say we were very excited for them.

Ellie says Julian is relieved that she's moving out, mostly because he wants to sell his house and move in with Mom. I'm glad Julian is moving into Mom's place. Julian's house isn't all that far away from Mom's, so it'd be totally fine if she'd decided to move in with him, but Mom's is right across the street from the home Yuri and I are trying to purchase, and I like the idea of being that close to my mother when we settle in Willow Creek. I like that we’ll be near enough to see each other in person every day, but that we’ll be under different roofs and free to carry on with our own lives.

In other news, there was an amateur snowboarding competition held here in Mt. Komorebi last weekend. Seiji, Sakura and I all decided to sign up for it, and we were shocked that the organizers actually let us.

Me and Seiji are international-level competitors and Sakura was too, until she retired after last season. Amateur competitions are good experience, which is the main reason we sometimes try to enter them, but it feels kinda wrong to seriously put ourselves up against a bunch of amateur enthusiasts who were just out there to have a good time. To be fair to the other competitors, we asked the organizers to tell the judges not to use our scores for the medal placement, which they agreed to, so maybe that's why they let us enter.

A really great thing about this competition was that Seiji and I didn't need to worry too much about our performances, even if our scores had been counted with everyone else's. This wasn't a qualifier for the All-Japan Snowboarding Championship, so it was the perfect chance for us to enjoy ourselves and maybe show off a little. I'll bet all of you know exactly who I was showing off for.

On the first morning of the competition, which was Saturday, Sakura and Takeshi stopped by our place for tea and a pep talk on their way up the mountain. If I didn't mention it before, Sakura and I work together at the fitness center, but we've been friends for longer than either of us have worked there. We met not long after I arrived, and I think I won her over immediately by praising her hot pink snowboard, Senbazuru. I didn't know he had a name at first, though. I was riding my old board, Silver Storm, at the time and being the snowboarding-obsessed nerd that I am, I introduced both myself and him. Sakura said I was crazy, and then told me her board also had a name. We laughed like idiots, and I think we were instantly bonded for life.

This season, Sakura is also my coach, which is beyond awesome. Last season was tough because Seiji and I had the same coach, and it sometimes felt like we were competing for his attention. Seiji said it felt kind of like a threesome, which is something I really don't want to contemplate. Anyway, Seiji is still with him. Meanwhile, Sakura has been kicking my butt into shape as best she can, considering the chaos and all the interruptions to my training schedule.

Sakura and Takeshi were on the go early. They turned up at our place just as I was putting breakfast on the table. Unfortunately they didn't have time to stay long, because Sakura needed to take Takeshi to work — he's a paramedic with the Mountain Patrol — so I put their tea into travel mugs which Sakura promised to return to us later.

As they were leaving, Sakura offered to transport my gear for me. Naturally, I wasn't going to refuse that offer. With my stuff going up the mountain in Sakura's truck, that meant Yuri and I could enjoy a nice walk without me having to carry anything.

You ever have one of those moments where you suddenly stop and think, 'I'm incredibly content with my life right now'? That was me on Saturday morning. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, with just enough cloud cover that the snow wasn't blindingly bright, and it wasn't too cold or windy. There'd been a fresh snowfall overnight, and everything around us was glistening and magical as Yuri and I strolled up the quiet Kiyomatsu Point road, hand in hand.

"You're in a good mood," Yuri observed. "I don't think I've ever seen you this calm and relaxed on the morning of a competition."

"I don't really see it as a competition," I said. "Just an exhibition. There's nothing to lose. And I am in a good mood. How could I not be in a good mood when I'm out here with you?"

"This is nice, isn't it? I'm going to miss walking here with you."

"We may be moving, but we're not leaving forever," I said. "We'll come back for visits, and when we do, we'll have our walks. Plus, we can do this every day until spring if you want. Every day you're feeling up to it, that is."

He smiled. "I'd like that."

"We'll find quiet places to walk in Willow Creek, too."

"I know," he said. "I'm looking forward to that, but it doesn't change how I feel about this place. It's part of me, just as much as your hometown is part of you, and it's difficult to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Please, don't be." He squeezed my hand. "I want to go with you and help you chase your dreams. You deserve to get back some of the things you gave up when you came here for me."

"But, what about your dreams?"

He stopped walking, and gently pulled me to a stop beside him. Turning to face me, he gazed at me and said, "You are my dream, Victor. The only thing I ever wanted was to be loved the way you love me. Maybe I'll come up with a future goal of my own once we're in Canada, but for right now, I just want to be with you and watch you reach yours."

"Thank you," I said, because there were no better words in my head.

Since our visit to Willow Creek in the autumn, I've noticed a big change in Yuri. I don't know exactly how to describe it except to say that he's less clingy than he used to be. No... that's not right. He's still clingy, but not in as much of a selfish, jealous way as before. He's been putting my needs ahead of his way more often, and I've got to say it's doing wonders for us as a couple.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

We resumed walking after that, and our conversation turned to lighter things, like our plans to go to our favourite tea house with our friends this evening, and what we were going to get for Taka as a gift for his twenty-sixth birthday at the end of January. We recently found out that Fox's birthday is in January too, and he's also going to be twenty-six. We discussed the possibility of getting them something matching, and Yuri thought matching coffee mugs would be a good idea. I suggested that we could do them up in a cute little basket with some sugar-free snacks for Fox and some of the expensive coffee beans Taka likes. Yuri said he'd be in charge of decorating the basket, which is undoubtedly the wisest option. He has a better eye for that sort of thing than I do. My talents lie elsewhere.

Up on the mountain, the trail conditions were flawless. We couldn't have asked for a better day.

We found Sakura, and then went to retrieve Elsa and my other gear. Yuri carried my helmet. Whenever he's able to come and watch, we have kind of a pre-competition ritual that we do. He carries something of mine, usually my helmet or wrist guards, and we walk together as far as we can. Then, just before I head up to the top of the run and he goes off to the spectator area, he puts that bit of equipment on me.

"Don't break your neck."

"Arms and legs are okay though, right?" is my typical response.

It's kind of a dark joke, I know, and it probably fits into the category of what my uncle Stephen would call 'gallows humour'. But, here's the thing. Snowboarding is an extremely dangerous sport, especially in the alpine events. If a person doesn't know what they're doing or they're not completely focused, they can get seriously hurt or even killed, and regardless of whether you’re paying attention or not, accidents can still happen. Like, you're whipping down the side of the mountain at speeds that are almost as fast as a car would travel on the highway, except you don't have a seatbelt or an airbag to protect you if you crash. Broken arms or legs are a real possibility. Broken necks, too.

Yuri and I both know this all too well. A friend of his died in a snowboarding accident about three years ago. She suffered a broken neck and a catastrophic brain injury. Back home, I used to be acquainted with a guy who wiped out and injured his spine. He uses a wheelchair these days.

So, even though we joke around, it's not because we're taking it lightly. It's actually the opposite. We need something to loosen the tension, because laughing is always better than panicking.

Before we parted ways, Yuri put my helmet on me. "I'll see you later," he said, once we'd done our little routine. "Be safe."

I leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. "I'll see you in a little while. I've got the third position in line, so I'll be close to the beginning. I'll come and find you, and then we can grab a hot drink and then see if we can catch Seiji in one of his events, okay?"

"Okay," he said. "When is Sakura's event?"

"Women's Super-G is this afternoon."

"Do you think she'll be all right?"

"Sakura can handle herself," I said. "She'll put on a masterclass for everybody here today."

And she absolutely did. She nailed it, and she would've taken first place if her score had counted. In my opinion, she probably could've competed for one more season if she'd wanted to, but I also respect her decision to take her doctors' advice and retire. The next injury might not be so easy to recover from, and I feel like it makes more sense for her to retire on her own terms than to be forced into it because she literally can't ride any more.

I'm going to reach that point some day myself, where I'll have to decide that it's time to stop competing. I don't like thinking about it because sometimes I feel like snowboarding is the only thing I'm really good at, and I don't know what I'll fill my time with that makes me feel as self-confident and satisfied and alive as snowboarding does. I'm concerned that if I don't figure something out, I'm going to end up being one of those people who wastes away inside, remembering the glory days and wishing they could get that feeling back.

Yuri says I'm good at lots of things. He says I'll find my new passion, but honestly, I'm really scared that I won't. Don't get me wrong; I'm looking forward to starting university in September and eventually becoming a physical therapist, but I'm worried that I won't do well enough in school. Even if I manage to graduate, what If I don't love my chosen profession? Or what if I suck at it?

If I could've captured a fragment of last Saturday, with all the exhilaration, optimism and positive energy that went with it, I would have. I'd freeze time in that perfect moment and hold onto it until I was emotionally and psychologically ready to let go and move on. But, of course I couldn't. Life marches forward, whether we're ready or not.

Oh... I guess I should tell you that I finished first in my event, if you were curious. Seiji placed in the top three of both his events, but not first in either of them, which was kind of surprising. There are some very talented up-and-coming freestyle boarders around here, it seems.

At the end of the day, Yuri and I decided to go home for a while instead of hanging out in the public square and eating stuff from the food stalls. I needed a hot shower, a change of clothes and a decent meal. Yuri said he needed a nap and a snack, and I wanted to make sure he got some protein into him, which would 've been challenging with all the high-carb junk food they sell in the square.

Seiji and Sakura caught up with us at the square’s exit, and said they'd see us later at the tea house. Seiji was going to his parents' place for food first, and Sakura was planning to wait for Takeshi so they could go home together to eat as well. We all agreed that seven o'clock was a good time for tea and desserts, and Yuri texted Taka to see if he'd be off work by then so that he and Fox could join us.

With our tea party organized, we went our separate ways. Yuri and I retraced our path along Kiyomatsu Point Road, once again holding hands. I kept glancing at him, pleased to see that he didn't look as tired as I expected he would.

"You were amazing out there today," he said, and his enthusiasm shone through his entire expression.

"It's because you were watching," I said. "I always do better when I know you're watching. That's how I know I'm gonna crush it in the All-Japan qualifier in two weeks. 'cause you're going to be there."

"Unless something terrible happens to intervene, I'll be there," he affirmed. "I wouldn't want to miss it, and I promised you I'd be there, didn't I?"

"Like what? The only reason I can think of that'd keep you away would be if you're sick."

"I'd have to be too ill to get out of bed."

"If you were too ill to get out of bed, I wouldn't be going to the competition either," I told him. "I couldn't leave you alone like that."

"Let's hope for that not to happen," he said. "Let's hope we're both feeling our best."

"If this is going to be my year to win a medal at All-Japan, and to make it to the FIS Championship next year, everything has to go right.”

“Is it pointless for me to tell you not to worry about it?”

“You can tell me, but I’m probably still going to worry,” I said. “Just wish me luck.”

“Always,” he said. “You know I always hope you’ll do well. I’m your number one fan.”

“I love that.”

“I’m glad.” He clasped my hand in both of his, and gazed earnestly at me. “Fingers crossed that everything goes according to the plan.”

I nodded and echoed, “Fingers crossed.”

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Shuu [VAMPIRE ENDING]

ー The scene starts in front of Karlheinz’ castle

Yui: ( His answer...? )

Shuu: Basically you’ll quietly let yourself get killed?

Karlheinz: ...No.

I will kill you.

Shuu: !?

Yui: Shuu-san!!

( Karlheinz-san’s hand is reaching towards Shuu-san...! Don’t tell me he’ll actuallyーー! )

Shuu: Kuh...!

Yui: ...!!

*STAB*

Shuu: ...

...You never change.

Yui: ...Shuu-san...?

Karlheinz: ...Hah...

Yui: ( ...!! There’s a knife stabbed inside Karlheinz-san’s chest...! )

Karlheinz: Kuh...

*Thud*

Shuu: Like you did just now...You see right through my plans, always making sure you’re one step ahead.

Expecting me to follow in your footsteps is unreasonable. I simply had no other choice but to give up.

Karlheinz: That is exactly.... how those standing at the very top must be. It is how, you will guide your people down the right path...

Next....I must guide you. 

Shuu...In what lies ahead of you, you will surely be thrown into a state of disarray.

However, that is your...destiny. One which you could never escape, from the second you were born as my son...Your dark fate. (1)

However...You have already decided you will no longer run away, no? For the sake of those you wish to protect.

Shuu: ...Yeah.

Karlheinz: ...Perfect.

You have fully awakened as Adam. I shall give you my answer as well.

Shuu...You did more than a fine job trying to reach my level. And right now, you have even surpassed me. 

You, who has learnt how to love and feel, should now possess powers much greater than my own.

Go ahead, my son. Take my head...

The head of none other than the King. I am sure it will be useful to you in many ways...

Shuu: ...Ugh...

...Yui, close your eyes. You don’t have to see this.

Yui: ...No, me tooーー

Shuu: It’s fine.

In return...Whenever I will recall this moment in the future, please quietly stand by my side.

Yui: ...

...Okay.

ー Yui closes her eyes

Karlheinz: I’m leaving everyone in your care...

*CHOP*

Yui: ...!?

( What is going on...!? This overwhelming forceーー... )

( I can’t...I can’t endure it... )

ー She collapses

*Thud*

Shuu: Yui!?

ー The scene shifts to the garden

Ayato: ーー Take a look at the sky...

Kanato: Is that enormous magical energy...Father...?

Laito: ...It’s Shuu.

Subaru: He actually killed him...?

Reiji: ...!

Laito: Isn’t this for the best? To us Vampires, death is a blessing.

I’m sure he yearned for it as well.

Ayato: So he finally took his final breath? Well...He lived for long enough.

Laito: You’re being awfully optimistic, Ayato-kun. The King of Vampires just died, you know? Furthermore, the Vibora are without a leader right now as well.

Kanato: I can only imagine chaos will break loose in the Demon World. I’m sure there will be many wars as well.

Subaru: You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me...As if this place isn’t enough of a hellhole already...

Reiji: ...

Ayato: Oi, Reiji. Whatcha gonna do?

Reiji: ...Let us go meet Shuu.

There are a hundred and one things...I want to ask him, and say to him.

Laito: Let’s go pay our dear older brother a visit then.

Subaru: Cut it out, you’re makin’ me gag!

Reiji: ...Father...

*TIMESKIP*

Shuu: ーー Oi, Yui.

Yui: ...

ー Yui wakes up near the castle

Yui: ...Shuu...san...?

Shuu: ...You’ve regained consciousness, huh?

Yui: I...

Shuu: You had fainted. I assume from the magic energy.

Yui: Magic energy...?

Shuu: ...When the Old Man died, his power was let loose. You witnessed that right before your eyes.

His magic energy was the strongest of anyone in the Demon World. I guess a human simply couldn’t endure it. ...Are you okay?

Yui: Yes...

...How about you, are you alright?

Shuu: ...

...To be honest, I’m not quite sure myself yet.

Part of me regrets killing him, but at the same time, I also feel somewhat relieved.

Yui: ...Do you believe you made the wrong choice?

Shuu: I don’t know that either.

I never thought of him in terms of ‘like’ or ‘hate’ but...

Right now, I understand very well that my Father has always been an impactful figure in my life.

All in all, I might have actually viewed him as my family. For some reason, I feel as if I’ve lost a part of me...

Yui: Shuu-san...

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ehーー...?

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ririe!?

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ririe...!

Shuu: ...He was alive?

I figured he had died because we gave him that name but...I guess you weren’t that weak after all.

...Come here.

*Meoooow*

Shuu: Even when something is lost...Life goes on. That might be the true meaning of a family.

Haah...My list of things to protect just keeps on growing.

Yui: ...Will you protect us? Both me and Ririe?

Shuu: You’re still asking that now? Isn’t that what it means to be a family?

...I’ve made up my resolve. I will take responsibility. I will go head-to-head with my own destiny.

Yui: Shuu-san...

Ayato: ーー Oi, there they are!

Yui: You guys...! Is everything okay now?

Ayato: In what world? My whole body hurts like hell!

Laito: But I’m glad to see you safe as well, Bitch-chan.

Kanato: That being said...Where did that cat come from?

*Meoooow*

Yui: Ah...Ririe, you can’t! Come here.

Subaru: Ririe...?

Shuu: ...Shut it, you guys.

Where’s Reiji?

Reiji: I am present, right here.

ー Reiji walks up to him

Reiji: ...Shuu. Do you remember what I told you?

Shuu: The part about not forgiving me if I were to kill the Old Man?

Reiji: ...So you did kill Father after all. 

Shuu: Yeah.

Reiji: Did he have...any final words?

Shuu: He asked me to take good care of all of you.

That isn’t what brought forth this decision but...I’ll be playing his role from here on out.

Reiji: ...!

Kanato: You’ll ascend the throne?

Ayato: A sloth like yourself? ...For real?

Reiji: Are you saying...You will become the Vampire King?

Shuu: That’s what it’ll boil down to. The late King has died.

From here on out, I will lead the Clan of Vampires as their new King.

Yui: ( Shuu-san... )

Shuu: The Demon World is in disarray ever since what happened to the Vibora. Once the news of the Vampire King’s death hits the masses, it’ll only get worse.

After losing their leader, the Vibora were swiftly conquered by the Founders and lost their clan’s pride.

I can’t let the Vampires go down that same path. I won’t allow for that to happen.

I can’t let those guys...run loose forever.

Even if my struggle is in vain, I will fight till the bitter end.

We haven’t seen the last of this yet...

Ayato: ...But can you pull that off though? Us Vampires are already running low in numbers after the recent attack. 

Shuu: Of course, I don’t believe I can fix this all by myself.

I’ll obviously rely on you guys’ help as well. I won’t take no as an answer. As members of this family, you’ll follow my lead.

Laito: Good grief...Seems like we got ourselves another tyrant on our hands.

Shuu: Reiji. You’ll be my right-hand man. Lend me your strength as the second son of the Sakamaki household. Understood?

Reiji: ...

...I did not fathom a day would come on which I get to hear such a clear order from you.

Very well. For the sake of our family, and our clan, I shall do everything within my ability.

Yui: ( Reiji-san... )

Shuu: First we must retroop our people. Then we can move on to uniting them.

Reiji: You make it sound so easy.

Shuu: Of course, I don’t believe it’ll be a breeze. Therefore, first upーー Yui.

Yui: Eh? Yes?

( I wonder what he’s going to say? He’s staring right into my eyes... )

Shuu: I’ll marry her.

Yui: ...Eh?

Ayato: Hah?

Kanato: ...What are you saying?

Shuu: That’ll increase my prestige, no?

Subaru: You’re marryin’ her over that reason!? Don’t you feel bad for her!?

Shuu: Haah...Ridiculous. You really think I would go through all the trouble just for that?

I’m obviously marrying her out of love.

Yui: ...Shuu-san!?

Laito: Haah...I didn’t think I would hear those words come from Shuu’s mouth one day.

Kanato: Seems like he won’t even bother listening to Yui-san’s reply.

Shuu: Because I don’t need to. ...Right, Yui?

Yui: ...No fair...

Shuu: You’ve been stuck in this destiny with me since forever. You can no longer escape.

So you should make up your resolve as well.

Reiji: Haah...You decide such an important thing on the spot. I fear for the future...

Well, I suppose it is fine. Right now, we have something to celebrate first.

The birth of a New King, and his spouseーー 

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ...I didn’t think I would one day get married in the Demon World.

Shuu: Really? I anticipated this.

I told you, didn’t I? That I was aware this moment would come one day.

You were naturally there as part of that imagination as well.

Yui: I...How should I know without you telling me?

Shuu: I’m not the type of guy who expresses himself with words. I’m pretty sure I told you that before as well?

Yui: Gosh...

*Meooow*

Yui: Ririe. Did you wake up?

*Meooow*

Yui: Fufu, come here.

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“What? You think I look lovely in these clothes because it’s so different from my usual attire? ...Haha. Dare I say you don’t look half bad either?”

“I’ve had let alone time with you ever since this little guy came along. ...However, from here on out, you’ll always be only mine.”

Shuu: ...Don’t you think you spoil him a little bit too much?

Yui: You think so? Not as much as with you though...

Shuu: What do you mean?

Yui: I think I spoil you much more than I do Ririe.

Shuu: ...Hah, you tell me.

*Rustle*

Shuu: In that case, make it a little more obvious.

You always claim you don’t understand me but...Your behavior is confusing as well.

Yui: I-Is it...?

( I always thought I was pretty straight-forward...I wonder if that didn’t quite convey to him...? )

Shuu: Don’t look so anxious. ...It properly got through to me.

Yui: Ah...

*Meooow*

Shuu: You’ve made it more than clear that you love me ...Nn...

Yui: Nn...

Shuu: Nn...Haah...

Shuu: Haha...Now you are one of us as well.

Yui: Am I?

Shuu: Even if your body is human, you’ll marry the Vampire King, so I’m sure that will happen.

The King’s spouse is a human, huh? Well, I don’t think that’s such a bad thing?

...Yui.

Yui: Yes?

Shuu: Chaos still washes over the Demon World to this day. I can only imagine the war will get intense.

Yui: ...Yes. 

Shuu: As long as you stand by my side like this, you will surely get involved with this dark fate as well.

That must be rough as a woman, and a human on top of that. I can understand why you would rather turn a blind eye to it.

Yui: ...I’m prepared.

I’ve always stuck by your side, well aware that this would happen.

Shuu: Heh...I guess I worried for nothing.

Well, not that I was going to let you go either way.

Father was right. I...lose all meaning in life when you’re not with me.

Stay with me until death. I’ll protect you till that day.

Become my new family, and live by my side.

Yui: ...Yes.

Shuu: Then kiss me.

Yui: ...Where did that come from!?

Shuu: Just words aren’t enough. Promise it with your body as well. Come on...

Yui: Nn...

*Smooch*

Shuu: Hah...I really like this way much better than just mere words.

*Meooow*

Shuu: ...Don’t interfere. She belongs to me.

Yui: Oh come on, don’t compete with a cat.

Shuu: I guess every time we welcome a new member to our family, I’ll have to reconfirm that you’re mine.

Haah...I fear for the future. Having a family really is a drag after all.

Well, I guess I can live with it if they’re directly descended from you. 

Yui: ( Does he mean...? )

Shuu: From here on out, I’ll protect both you and my family with my own two hands.

To live alongside my precious family, and the woman I love...

Yui: ...Yes.

Shuu: ...We still haven’t said it, huh?

Yui: What exactly?

Shuu: The oath to become a family.

Komori Yui. I...love you.

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Karlheinz drops this term in the general prologue as well. He says 闇の運命 or ‘yami no sadame’ which means ‘the law of the dark’. However, ‘sadame’ is written with the characters for ‘unmei’, which means ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’ instead of 定め.  

Within the DL franchise, ‘the dark’ is often used as a synonym for demons/those who live in the Demon World. For example, in HDB, the boys will often call themselves ‘yami no juumin’ or ‘residents of the dark’. Personally, I believe he implies that all Demons are born with a set path in life already drawn out for them and in Shuu’s case, it was his destiny to one day become Adam, kill his Father to inherit his powers and become the next Demon King.

[loveless-scribes]

Uchiha Itachi: NSFW Alphabet

So, it has come to my attention that Itachi of the Uchiha has been done a disservice in the eyes of the internet and been called terrible names. *COUGH* vanilla *COUGH* basic *HACK* I assure you, my friends, nothing could be further from the truth! And so, I present to you, my interpretation of the one and only. Enjoy.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Aftercare is not optional. It is just as much a part of the experience as foreplay and the actual sex. 

Will he clean you up? Not religiously, like it’s something he’ll do every time, but yes, he would. If you’re still feeling tired or lingering in bed by the time he’s gotten cleaned up, he wouldn’t think twice and just take care of you as well. If you mention that you think it’s sweet or you enjoy it, then… YES, he would absolutely start doing this religiously. 

Expect hairstroking and holding you to his chest, letting you listen to his heartbeat. If you want to share your 4 AM thoughts here, he’ll be down for it and let you know what he thinks about your ideas. After you’ve fallen asleep he will stay awake sorting through his thoughts, over what it means to have you by his side and the risks involved for you. This is pretty much the only time in the day that it’s safe to be vulnerable with his thoughts and so, this is where he will think about what you mean to him, and press a kiss to your forehead before finally going to sleep himself. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Eyes, definitely. The eyes are known to be the windows to the heart and his own eyes define so much of his life and his destiny, so yes, he could stare into his partner’s eyes for an almost uncomfortably long time, drinking them in. I can’t really say he’s a butt or boobs guy cuz that’s not how his mind is wired. He’s wired to be mission-oriented and there’s no room in his mind for distractions but on his S/O he would appreciate and worship every inch of her. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Um… breeding kink, anyone? Defo see him as having one. Is this an underlying psychological thing because he was deprived of having a normal family? At the same time, though, he’s in no rush to have children of his own, because he knows what a terrible place this world can be. But the desire to spill his seed deep into his S/O’s womb is deeply ingrained. Modern birth-control would really solve this problem. 

Also, swallowing. *COUGH* If someone does this for him it will go straight to his head. Prepare to be rewarded. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Hmm… I almost feel guilty about characterizing him like this, but I could see him somewhere deep down having a desire to have his partner submit to him? Not in the sense that he would ask for that, but if he had a wet dream about his S/O she would probably be on her knees, and he would feel guilty about it the next day and be a little sweeter than usual to her. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Okay! So, this is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Itachi is inexperienced! Even if we take Canon!Ita (but maybe age him up a little) I feel like there could be situations, mission-related, or pursued by women he objectively finds appealing, where saying no is just more inconvenient than going along with it. Especially if it’s for the sake of a mission, he wouldn’t think twice. Or if he does it in order to not blow his cover. While he does largely turn admirers away, more for their own good and because he’s generally not interested, I do believe he could have realistically encountered situations in his travels that led to sexual encounters. He hasn’t taken a vow of chastity, so I don’t see why he should go to unreasonable lengths to say no?

So yeah, in my mind he definitely has some experience, but not a whole lot. Obviously, he takes necessary precautions to ensure those brief dalliances stay just that. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Hahahaha, so I had to do some research to find out what this position is called. The Mastery? Basically, it’s woman on top but the couple is in a seated position. Meaning, he gets to look into your eyes and just basically, the heightened intimacy and closeness of this position are what does it for him. Also, he has more control than in the normal girl-on-top position, so he can control the pace somewhat and help you out. 

But if you’re tired, he’ll pick you up and flip positions, he won’t wait for you to admit you’re tired and he won’t listen to your protests. He wants to see you out of your mind in ecstasy, not wondering whether or not you’re too tired to continue. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Alright, so it’s Itachi, right? He isn’t very jokey. That just is what it is. He might do something unintentionally that might make you giggle, or you could laugh out of nervousness and while he very much enjoys that sound he doesn’t really know how to provoke it from you. It’s just not his area of expertise. (Sorry, Ita. Couldn’t give you this one.)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Hmm… well, Itachi definitely is clean by nature, and is definitely well-groomed and particular in all aspects of his life, so… I’m going to go with trimmed. Neat and orderly. Just like everything else about him. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I lowkey just want to link my oneshots to this, cuz they say it all, but alright! He will want to be connected to his S/O. That means either being able to see her face, or if the position doesn’t allow for it to hear her voice the entire time. He’s good at that. He’s so sweet and considerate and perceptive. He knows what’s working for you and what isn’t even without you saying a word, He may not have a whole lot of experience, but he has an innate talent (because doesn’t he just… with everything?) and he’s an exceptionally quick learner. He will legit ruin you for anyone else because if you ever ARE with anyone else and they snap at you, “What do you think I am, a mind reader?” You’ll realize what Itachi was doing.

So, yeah. He wants to make sure you’re into it and you’re taken care of and you’re near delirious with pleasure before he decides to let go himself. Being self-sacrificial and caring for others is in his nature. So, yeah, you really need to man up and figure out what he needs because he isn’t going to tell you. But you’re smart. You’ll work it out. (OR JUST READ THE REST OF THIS ALPHABET.)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Sorry, no. Don’t see him doing this. You have to consider how disciplined the guy is, and how insanely busy. It really is kind of a waste of time at the end of the day and if he wants it that badly, he can just make the trip to see you. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Teasing, edging, getting you to beg. He feels bad for you, he really does. But how much more can you take? You won’t know until you know. He’ll reward you for your patience though. And let’s be honest, you’ll love it, teasing and all. Not to mention mindfucking you to oblivion.  

So, I went through an alleged “complete” list of 239 kinks to try and answer this question and most of it was just… weird. So, let’s do this differently. What follows is an incomplete list of things I could potentially see him being into or good at or have an interest in. In no particular order: mirrors, sub/dom play (with a little coaxing and admitting to himself that this is even a thing that he’s into. It would absolutely be limited to the bedroom, though), sensory deprivation, and.... bear with me here, but… I could see him having a hand for Shibari. THINK ABOUT IT. Those knots and things they learned to tie in the ninja academy? And we know Itachi is the best of the best in everything he does. So, I don’t think this is beyond the realm of possibility. 

Generally speaking, though, he just doesn’t have the time for this stuff. BUT IF HE DID…

And now, this is exclusive to AM!Ita but he most likely has a praise kink. Being hated and cursed for eons, and being disillusioned with his own role, if his S/O comes in and tells him how great he is, how handsome, how wonderful. How good he is at what he does. How wonderful he makes her feel. Mmmm. I can see that doing things to him. XD

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Ideally, in a lake or a river. Outdoor bathing spaces are generally approached with caution, so even if someone were to come by they would call out and make sure no one is there first, which means, less risk of getting caught. And I mean, this is Itachi… He’s an S-rank exiled nin. HE KNOWS HOW TO NOT GET CAUGHT. LOL. But yeah, he spends a lot of time out-of-doors. He’s more accustomed to the starry sky overhead than the roof of a house or woodland cabin. In my interpretation, he feels very much at peace when surrounded by nature and he would enjoy being intimate with you in that setting. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Confidence. Enthusiasm. Not necessarily seduction, if it’s a stranger he’s dealing with, this is more of a turn-off than anything. But if it’s his S/O and she turns up the charm and crooks a finger at him… You might even get a smile on that stoic face. I don’t see him being into the shy and stuttering type. If you blush and say, “No! St- stop!” He’ll literally stop. And probably apologize. AND NOT DO IT AGAIN.

If you try and explain to him that your no doesn’t mean no… Ah, yeah. He’s not into that. Be straightforward. Say what you mean. Don’t play games with him. He’ll see right through you. 

That being said, being a lonely fighter all his life means he’s very sensitive to your touch. Just run a hand along his shoulder in passing and he’ll grab it and press a kiss to your palm, and haul you in. I could see him being into your hands. It really isn’t hard to turn him on, it’s hard to earn his trust and a position in his life that gives you the right to touch him and be touched by him. But when you’re there, it’s the easiest thing in the world. A smile, a kiss, a brush of your fingers over his collarbones. He’s a goner. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pegging. This goes without saying. I can’t really think of much else he wouldn’t be into. I mean, stuff that’s a little more out there. Watersports. Daddy/Mommy kinks. Actual exhibitionism, (not genjutsu version) no way is he going to let anyone look in on your most intimate moments. Impact play. He knows very well what his hands are capable of, and there’s a lot of blood on them, so he really wouldn’t be into stuff that involves actually hurting you. 

If his S/O likes it VERY rough, he might resort to genjutsu so that she gets what she wants, but he doesn’t have to actually hurt her. Other than that, bruising, choking, the usual level of roughness? Bring it on. Being adept with his hands also means he knows very well where that fine line between pain and pleasure is. 

Not to mention, he’s very perceptive, so he’ll figure out what you’re into even without you saying it. He’s also very giving so he’ll focus more on your preferences than his own. But if the day ever comes where you realize what submission does to him… The man would be putty in your hands. Kukukukuku...

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both. 

Giving, because he has absolute control over your pleasure, and because he enjoys how easily he can drive you out of your mind. We’ve established that he’s a terrible tease, so driving you to the brink and leaving you hanging, feeling every single one of your reactions… It’s good stuff. 

Receiving takes the cake though. Being that vulnerable with someone, even having someone he can trust that much. It’s definitely something he’s very partial to, something that makes him soft towards you, and something that plays into his forbidden desire of seeing you submit, whether or not he’s aware of it. He’ll make sure to return the favor tenfold.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This is an odd question I think, because… doesn’t it depend? On how much time he has, on how the two of you are feeling, on what the mood is? 

Anyways, I’m going to go ahead and say slow and sensual because he really is a man who likes to take his time with you. He likes to feel every one of your responses, hear every little mewl and whimper and moan that crosses your lips. He definitely makes it an experience. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not his preference, but he isn’t above having a quickie if that’s all that time allows. But he would definitely follow up with a proper session at a later time, then. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Itachi is so nice. He really is. There’s nothing you could want that he wouldn’t be willing to try at least once for your sake. I mean, apart from the stuff listed under “N”. 

And would he take risks? YES, HE WOULD. Because his assessment of the risks varies greatly from yours. So, something that you would think is very risky, might seem not risky at all to him, because he knows exactly how to go unseen, unnoticed. You might think he’s being risky, but he’s well aware there was a 0% chance you were going to get caught. Because Itachi skillz.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Stamina! *insert sparkles* AM!Ita has been established in the works, so I think that needs no comment. Canon!Itachi is a freaking fighter. An S-class exiled nin. Someone who claims Itachi has no stamina wants to start something with me. DID YOU SEE HIM HAND SASUKE’S ASS TO HIM? Despite his illness? He lost because he CHOSE to lose. I don’t see the Akatsuki hauling out a wheelchair for Itachi to go on his missions, so don’t go telling me nothing about Itachi having no stamina. SHAKE MY HEAD WHILE JUDGING YOU.

Dude is strong as hell. And you can’t tell me some bedroom fun is more physically taxing than literal superhuman battles against huge ass tailed beasts! It’s just ridiculous. I’m not here to rant. Better calm down.

I’m here to tell you our man can go for at least three rounds and you will *GUARANTEED* always tire out before he does. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes. The sharingan. THE ONLY TOY YOU WILL EVER NEED. As mentioned above, he’s not above using his skills to heighten your pleasure, and mess with your mind. But actual, physical toys? Nah, the thought processes that would lead to considering, comparing, and actually purchasing those are just so foreign to his thinking. It would never even cross his mind. What can a toy even do that he can’t do better? (To his thinking anyway. Well, he’s not wrong.)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will make you beg. Absolutely. He’s totally unfair. He will have casual conversations with you while driving you out of your wits. And then he’ll ask you why you’re not answering him. Ask you what’s wrong. Ask you what you want. LIKE HE DOESN’T KNOW. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Itachi is very restrained and disciplined so, unfortunately, this means he isn’t very vocal. I know, cry with me, it’s such a waste. *hires an orchestra of the world’s smallest violins* BUT that means when you do manage to make him groan or moan in pleasure, it’s such a huge ego boost. Apart from the sounds he makes when hitting a climax, he’s generally in control and whispering praise and teasings into your ear or over your skin.

If you want him to talk, get on your knees and give him some head. Not kidding. Mentioned it above already. He gets to let go, a lot of his secret kinks are getting fulfilled, he feels vulnerable and is cool with it. He’ll dig his hands into your hair, cup your cheek, his eyes will roll into the back of his head and he’ll tell you on a low moan what a good girl you are. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

So, let’s say you’re waiting to talk to him and he’s busy meeting with some people or whatever and you’re standing off to the side patiently. He just briefly glances at you before turning back to his comrades and BOOM. Next thing you know, he’s got you by the neck, has you pinned against his desk/table/whatever (this was originally a Hokage!Ita headcanon so do with that what you will), and is doing unspeakable things to you in front of everyone. No sooner does the encounter come to an end, than you suddenly wake up and find yourself still standing right where you were, until it happens again, and this time he takes you against the wall. It’s an illusion wrapped in an illusion wrapped in an illusion more times than you can count and when you finally do come to your senses, you can barely stand. The meeting is over. Itachi turns toward you, “You wanted to speak with me?”

Ah, yes. Good old Itachi mindfuckery.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I mean, muscles, yes? Lots of them. Man’s fit as a fiddle. He’s a ninja. So, yes, the entire delicious length of him is covered in lean, firm muscle. He’s clearly well-endowed because… he just is. Maybe not the longest cucumber in the farmer’s market (which isn’t to say he isn’t long, because he is… don’t claim I called him short) but thick and veiny and above all else, attached to a man with a brain who knows how to use it efficiently. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

This is a tough one, because the constraints are not on his drive, but on his time. He’ll take whatever chances he can to be with you. AM!Ita is established to have a very high sex drive, but he also has restraint, so when you’re not into it, he’s cool with it. As if that would ever happen. So, I would have to say, the actual encounters will unfortunately be far between because of his lifestyle, but he will always make up for lost time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Kind of already mentioned this above, that those moments afterwards with you are his most vulnerable moments where he feels relatively safe and at ease, so he stays awake for a long time after, sorting through his thoughts. Also, he won’t say this to you, but it’s his job to protect you, so there is no way he’ll fall asleep before you do. Not gonna happen.