#self awareness about it being a game
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theres something to be said about the accidental symbolism of the horns in double life
grian got ponder originally which is a doo doo dudooooo kinda pattern and then got seek which is the same pattern but with a scratchier sound and offered it to scott
their stories then mirror in both having previously done a series with their partner and this time (somewhat) rejecting them (and later being tortured by them) only scott fully rejected pearl to live across from cleo while grian still kept scar around but tried to be secret soulmates with bigb. and ultimately scott and pearl did the whole sacrifice for the other person to win thing, reprising grian and scar's 3rd life ending same pattern, different sound.
(theres also something to be said here about how they are similar people, you can see it in the quiet agreement to stand around and get butted at by goats and in the bit where scott punches scar, sees grian take damage and "*he knows" and he knows he knows he knows and scott realizes what grian realized, that grian is once again trailing reluctantly after scar to keep him safe but also knows he shouldn't tell scar cause grian hasn't. they're both very intelligent in similar ways and it shows)
later on grian got another ponder (which he offered to scar instead of the seek he initially gave him) and mentioned how there was a reply to it (sing, du dudoooo) that he really wanted (and later jimmy and tango got)
so more narrative comparisons. the two soulmate pairs at that point have matching horns, grian and scar are ponder and jimmy and tango are sing. notoriously jimmy and scar are the two that everyone was scared of being partnered with because they die and take damage a lot. the thing i find interesting is how different their narratives are grian and scar had already been partnered and worked together previously, meanwhile, jimmy and tango had barely spoken prior. you'd expect that the two who were already friends and found out they were partnered (or at least grian found out) in a more or less positive way would choose to be friends, no? and you'd think that the two who didn't know each other and met by dying would have an awkward stumbling dynamic and possibly resent (in character) each other, right? but turned out it was the opposite way around (because of personalities blah blah blah). its not super related to the horn patterns I'll admit but something about the way.. its almost as if grian's horn says this is how it is (this being like rejecting scar because of their past) and the ranchers horn being like what if it doesn't have to be (something about clean slates, seeing people in new light, reintroducing yourself, taking all the best of a person despite a bad circumstance like yknow. killing them when you first meet. don't know anyone else whos accidentally blown up someone when they first met cough cough 3rd life cough)
please feel free to add your thoughts
#i dont think i fully got my point across about ranchers and desert duo#tbh i forgot the point i was trying to make halfway through writing it lol#i love comparing narratives and patterns and stories#patterns coming up in this series is so cool to me because its unscripted#they didnt mean for the narrative things to happen#another one im crazy about is how the first third and fifth winners had the person in second place offer themselves up and say kill me#i want you to win#and then the second and fourth winners had a sort of#self awareness about it being a game#and made themselves win#anyway#just thoughts#double life#3rd life#third life#life smp#life series#grian#scott smajor#smajor1995#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar#gtws#jimmy solidarity#tangotek#pearlescentmoon#bigb#bigbstatz#desert duo#scarian
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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The way the YouTube lore experts have just accept Veilguard wholesale without any complaints and are actively making excuses for it's flaws disappoints me... but I suppose that's on me for assuming people interested in something published by EA would hold it to a standard
#bioware critical#the similarities between the da creator council and the sims 4 creator network should be studied#just to be clear i don't think either group is lying about their love of their respective games...#but both lack the self awareness to realize the only reason they have the position they do is because they won't ever be critical#about literally anything#.... this post brought to you by gil literally acting like there is an explanation for the crows being the way they are#that's not bad writing#“oh It's totally explainable!!! they could have gone with it's just the one house! or they wanted to get back to their routes! or zevran-”#there's a reason i unfollowed#and i shouldn't be annoyed but i did buy the game on her reccomend so i have the right i think
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someone left a really good set of tags on the life series winner post but in essence i agree that while i like the watchers in theory as window dressing to the entire tragedy fueling this endless cycle of blood sports i think its a million times more intriguing and engaging for the truth of the matter to be that the lifers themselves are the reason for their own suffering. the watchers are just kind of there as an excuse for their own faults
#i still really like the watchers conceptually though just not exactly in the way theyre commonly depicted in fandom#you gotta be orv-ful about it or else they don't really work LOL#i like the idea that the lifers are aware of the watchers and blame them for the games when in reality they are the ones#dooming themselves. they are the ones enabling what is in essence a self fulfilling prophecy#the watchers act as a convenient scapegoat and mechanism that enables this but theyre not the true reason behind their suffering#theyre just simply here to witness it. to record it. to give it meaning#<- hugeeee emphasis on that last part i have a lot of feelings about observation and fiction being brought to life#and finding meaning in suffering... in the human condition..
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What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently
Original photo
#my art#project sekai#rui kamishiro#if u saw this get posted before: no u didn’t#forgot to schedule the post for the morning incident 60 dead 600 injured.#i feel obligated 2 say I actually post abt pjsk on my main (apotelesmaa) frequently (I have brain worms)#& I only post on this blog once in a blue moon and it’s usually not serious art atp#so do not expect anything.#curtain call. what an event. love rui he’s such a good character. I hope he explodes.#he is so full of love and so bad at recognizing his emotions and problems.#‘I don’t have any emotional hang ups about anything’ says the guy who has so many emotional hang ups#rationalizing pulling back as safety measures instead of fearing abandonment/concern of hurting tsukasa (or others) again ->#rationalizing accepting asahi’s job offer because it’s the best for his future even if it’s not the best for himself#also tbh I think to some degree u could argue accepting the job offer was his way of getting ahead of being abandoned#not that it would happen and not that he’d recognize that to begin with#negative self awareness king! he is not processing his emotions at all!#would love for him to mention the job offer in a future event. even just offhandedly. shaking him by the shoulders. talk to ur friends moron#me when I’m in a not recognizing what I’m feeling and how it effects me competition and my opponent is rui kamishiro from hit game pjsk#etc etc. anyways.#once again falling into the ‘sure whatever this can go on the art blog’ category#in that I used simultaneously too much effort and very little in creating it#once again: [hope you’re hungry. for NOTHING] dot jpeg. as is typical here at hallowclave dot tumblr dot com.
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I think Viewing Monika as some Kind of evil Mastermind does her character a huge disservice for multiple reasons but also Just cause it ascribes her a Level of competence she simply does Not display
#like i just watched a video essay critizising ddlc#and they had a ton of complaints about the plot most of which boil down to greatly overestimating how powerful monika is#like no she is not in fact a god of her world who created the game she is just another character#forced to deal with the fact she was given self awareness#monika not having a route isn't her own fault for not simply writing one for herself#she actually tries to do that#in act two monica isn't keeping up the charade of this being a normal functional visual novel for shits and giggles#but because she's kinda trying her best to keep it together#and iirc she didn't stop with that cause she got fed up but cause she broke most of the rest of the game#and saying she goes from 'basically hitler' to contrite is just not fair to her#she was a teenager who got forced to deal with her reality being fake and then given one 'real' thing to cling to#and a power she didn't really know how to use properly that could change it#sorry that just kinda annoyed me#idk man#ddlc#doki doki literature club#monika ddlc
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if you people will not request, I suppose I will just create
anyways here’s my idea: coriolanus snow x model reader
warnings: literally none. sfw. no use of y/n. female reader. let me know if you want this with gn reader or male reader. academy coriolanus.
enjoy :)
Most people your age would be heading to school about now, but not you. You were heading to Mrs. Cameron’s office, your boss who made sure your face got slapped on every advertisement. Didn’t matter what it was for. You’d been in posters and ads for foods, for clothing, once for the Games itself. As long as people saw your face, Mrs. Cameron got money, and if Mrs. Cameron got money, so did you.
You sit in the waiting room, an empty marble room that’s honestly intimidating even after going there for years. Then, Janet looks up from her spot at the counter. She’s Mrs. Cameron’s secretary, a fairly nice young woman whom you don’t often engage with.
“You can go home,” Janet says, not unkindly, but certainly not kindly. “Mrs. Cameron’s not here right now. She’s fallen ill.”
“Oh,” you say awkwardly. You’d never been turned away before. Even though Mrs. Cameron was the boss of most of the models in the Capitol, she always had time for you. “Well, send her wishes of a fast recovery.”
Janet nods, and you make your exit. As you step out the doors, you’re hit with a blast of cold air. You got up at the crack of dawn to eat breakfast and walk here, and you didn’t realize exactly how freezing it was. You were also caught right in the middle of what was practically a stampede of students heading to the Academy. The red uniforms flooded the small side street, like blood slowly spreading over a white snowflake.
As you make your way through the crowd, with lots of hurried saying of “Excuse me” and “Sorry,” you pause to see someone looking at you.
One of the students. He’s blonde, and he has very noticeable blue eyes. He says something, and it takes you a moment to realize he’s talking to you.
“You’re the girl from all those advertisements.”
“I-I am,” you reply, nodding. The student nods to the doors of the modeling agency you just walked out of. “Do you work there?”
“Yes.” “Are there…lots of clothes there?”
You’re slightly confused at these questions. You got a lot of weird questions when people found out you were a model, but no one ever asked if you had lots of clothes at your modeling agency.
“Yes, I guess so,” you hesitantly respond. Does he want to break in and steal them? “Why?”
He turns red and says, “It’s…well, my cousin-Tigris-her birthday is coming up, and she likes, well, fashion, so I thought I’d get her something nice, but….”
“Oh!” Well, that’s a lot nicer than breaking into a modeling agency and stealing all their clothes.
“I…work for Mrs. Cameron, you know. She leads most of the models in the Capitol.” You don’t know why you’re telling this to a stranger. “She normally doesn’t like us taking the dresses home, but she’s out sick, so…”
You don’t know why you’re offering this to a stranger. You’ve never broken a rule of Mrs. Cameron’s before. And here you are, willing to break her biggest one for a stranger who-for all you know-might not even have a cousin with a birthday coming up.
His eyes light up. “Could you get something? Maybe something nice. She likes pink.”
And then you remember it. The satin pink dress with the bow in the back that was rejected for you because Mrs. Cameron said it didn’t match your eyes. But it was comfortable, and beautiful, and perfect for a birthday gift. “I know exactly what to get,” you say. “I can probably get it to you this time tomorrow.”
He nods, and then says, “Coriolanus Snow,” and then walks away.
It takes you a few minutes to realize that was his name.
#lol this did NOT end up being about reader being a model#not my best work tbh#at least i’m self aware#coriolanus snow x reader#Coriolanus snow#the hunger games#tbosas#bosas#ballad of songbirds and snakes#Bro I’m so frickin tired right now#I just wanted to write 😭#part 2 if you want it but def not today
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Rosawatts, from memory (Patreon)
#Doodles#To The Moon#Neil Watts#Eva Rosaline#They ✨#I ended up making the To The Moon series of games my over-breakfast show for a while haha#I got through them all surprisingly fast! It's amazing what a bit of breakfast does for the focus haha#I had ideas for them but then I got distracted! Damn! Another time#Still gonna talk about 'em tho lol <3#Mostly Neil-related honestly haha - a big long silly joke that takes so much context pfft#So that one trope of self-aware anime protagonists - either the type to try to hide the specific thing that makes them The Chosen One#Or changing themselves into The Chosen One by adopting a feature that points to it - think dying hair#Born with weird hair? Protagonist - cover that up and become a normie; and it's inverse!#And then y'know the trope of the white-haired anime boy? The Redshirt of anime? Lol#I just love the idea of Neil being ''born with white hair'' and dying it his normal brown and confessing to Eva#And her countering back with ''Thank goodness you don't have white hair I never would've accepted your confession if The Tragedy''#While Neil is just Sweating lol#It's funnier in images gah I'll get to it someday!#For now I'm just happy to have added them to my list <3 I do love them hehe#I enjoyed Imposter Factory so much! The montage at the end had such beautiful pixel animation#And even seeing a simulacrum of them happy makes me happy <3 Bittersweet like the rest of the series :)#Good lads <3
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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the thing about yosuke’s shittiness around here (up close and personal, the campout) is that the vast majority of it isn’t doing literally anything for his character. i completely think yosuke’s shittiness is important to his character, but it’s by and large reflections of his own insecurities and flaws. he’s insecure about his masculinity and sexuality, he’s lame, he’s selfish, he’s obsessed with the idea of women, his mouth moves faster than his brain, he doesn’t like himself, and he cares way too much about the societal ideal of ‘normal’. but it’s really important that he’s self-aware! he knows when the things he says are shitty, he knows he’s lame, he knows he’s selfish, he knows he’s putting up a front of being carefree and normal. but there’s absolutely no self awareness here, there’s no recognizing he went too far and apologizing the next day, there’s no regret, there’s not even any self-deprecation, and there’s absolutely no compassion or empathy like he has in serious moments. a lot of what he says is just mean for meanness’s sake, in an execution incongruous with previous behaviour. it’s not even funny!
#tbh i think the thing with kanji in the tent was the closest to being interesting#like by the end he’s warning against kanji leaving the tent#so clearly he cares about kanji more than he’s homophobic#he was straight up just saying that stuff to be shitty. knowingly!#that’s interesting! and the whole thing reeks of yosuke’s own insecurity in his masculinity and sexuality#he took it way too far and i deeply wish he’d quit it with the we statements#but if he had even a single line like ‘shit… i shouldn’t have said all that’ or recognized he was in the wrong at all#then i think it genuinely would’ve been an important moment for his character#everything else was just extremely shitty for no reason. the fucking swimsuits was pathetic but the gross guilt tripping was awful#he’s just lacking all of his usual self awareness. he’s lacking all of his good qualities and nuance#like it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes yosuke’s other moments interesting or funny#this is just him being mean getting punished arbitrarily and not learning anything#on paper i get it. i get how these events could be continuations of established charateristics#but it’s just so mean and shitty that it becomes absurd nonsensical and unenjoyable#the stuff with hanako is just genuinely repugnant on the game’s behalf. it serves no purpose other than cruelty#definitely the worst part of the game so far#rambles#p4g posting#yosukeposting
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some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)
#bonk.png#undescribed#exocolonist#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatec#iwatex#anyway first thing bc its the shortest i dont think sol would actually id as anything n prefer to be unlabeled#bc of like. the timeloop stuff n every life kind of blending together BUT i think it'd be funny as hell if they were aro#n just never became aware of this bc their self reflection skills in regards to shit unrelated to the loop are That Bad#also im aro n like when characters are aro + love it when characters are kind of deranged about their friends#speaking of which madoka au! forever ago i drew the 🤝 meme with sol n homura n now im coming back to that#its not a 1 to 1 au straight up the commonalities begin n end at ''tammy & sol are kind of like madoka/homura''#stuff i got down for it in a sleep deprived haze were that sol nemmie n tangent were the only magical girls#n tammy hasnt been offered to become one nemmie n tangent arent aware that sol is a magical girl for a while#friendgroup at school is nemmie cal tammy n sol (tangent goes to a different school n is separate until she teams up with nemmie)#nemmie n tang team up bc somehow witch attacks keep being diverted from certain locations n grief seeds are disappearing#which is actually sol's doing theyre moving witches away from areas tammy will be n the grief seeds are to 1. discourage nem n tang from#fighting witches n 2. so sol can stockpile them basically bc they use timetravel a lot n need to keep their gem clean#the timeloop has progress (to an extent) its not a singular month looping its kind of like. video game save mechanics#like reloading the save u have before a bossfight n then if ur not adequately prepared reloading a save u have farther back#n then continuing on until u get stuck on a specific fight again yknow#theres more but moving on to the two unfinished things those are meant to be like a utdr au (specifically dr)#in a similar manner to the previous au of same premise n setting but different story bc theyre different characters#there's a lot less set for this au its entirely just playing in the sand n has nothing beyond vague role assignments#the first one that's like lineart in different colors is entirely scrapped bc i didnt like how it was turning out (meant to be darkworld fit#second one i struggled BADLY with marz oh my god this au is literally primarily for having fun with character designs but oh my god.#as it says there shes meant to be a modern art styled metal monster (got the metal idea from her dads' names n the modern art bc shesrefined#n sleek) but i had no actual idea how to convey that n i was trying to tackle it from a pixel art angle this time n i could notfigure it out#n then nomi nomi was super easy literally didnt even sketch them theyre a tiny pixie im sorry marz T-T#probably not gonna touch on this stuff again cause i was fixing on exo to avoid thinking about my bday but its happened so im fine now 👍
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ppl are always depicting cyno in fanon as a comic relief annoying idiot partner to tighnari that cannot read the room and is always making him angry and yeah he doesn't have the best social skills and doesn't understand other people that well, but he knows that. and he also knows tighnari well enough to know that if he truly was annoyed with his behavior to the point of getting angry, he would shut that shit down real quick. he's not the type of person to just sit there and take it if he's genuinely bothered, i think. cyno's just putting himself out there without letting himself be paralyzed by his own shortcomings or insecurities, and it's pretty clear tighnari doesn't want him to repress himself either.
if anything, i can see tighnari being the one with an annoying habit in private that he has 0 self awareness about because he's so used to being the one dealing with other people's bullshit that he may not realize when he's the culprit for once, and cyno is too much of an unbothered king to say anything about it, and too madly in love to stay annoyed for long lol
#cynonari#its especially baffling when ppl make tighnari be annoyed with cyno playing his funny card game and being goofy when at the end of his sq#tighnari shows up and sees that cyno isnt being his goofy self and immediately prescribes him playing cards to feel better. doctor's orders#and he plays with him himself. why would he participate in and encourage his friend's hobby if he hated it#i think they both smell like autism and both deal with socializing by projecting a lot of confidence and being bluntly honest#but in tighnaris case the way he expresses himself makes the confidence kinda mask the autistic vibes while cyno's puts them on full displa#basically i think cyno is fully self aware about his own autism swag he just doesnt feel like hiding it because that would just#make everything worse and more awkward#it rly sucks when people reduce their differences to tighnari being the smart mature adult and cyno being the idiot unserious manchild#feels like one of those situations where people are moreso applying fandom tropes that have been flanderized over time onto characters#without actually considering those characters as characters#i need to stop thinking about gay dog men and go to bed#occurs to me i should probably tag this as the ship in case someone's just looking up the characters and wants to filter it out?#idk tumblr's inconsistent about when it throws my posts into the spotlight and when it lets me stay in my corner
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#drapion#for lack of more interesting things to say abt drapion i'm gonna tell you about my day today#today was my first day heading to a local elementary school and teaching some kids. and i don't feel like it went very well#i've never thought of myself as being very good with kids but today kinda solidified that. we went over time and somehow they all convinced#me that every single one of them won the game i tried to do and i just believed them. i guess. kids are very persuasive#i told the next group that and one of them literally said “we're kids‚ so” and i was like SHIT. THEY'RE SELF-AWARE#it was also hard not to swear in front of them just bc i am not very good at not swearing. typically i have very little filter
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decided to play the heirs of fate dlc this weekend (ive been meaning to for awhile; admittedly my knowledge of it all comes from browsing the wiki, and i really wanted to experience the anankos characterization for myself). this isn't even the part i was excited to get to BUT I AM REELING OVER IT..........FOR REASONS I WILL DISCLOSE IN THE TAGS (from part iv: light's sacrifice)
#during shigure's explanation about why there's gaps in the kids' memories my brain IMMEDIATELY flipped to krad's post about whether --#gunter actually remembers how much he loved his family/is the revenge really for them or is it more so for his own satisfaction --#and like. OH MY GOD. IS IT NOT SO UTTERLY CRUEL THAT PERHAPS THE TRANSITION OF HIS REVENGE BEING FOR THEM ---> BEING SO FOR HIM WAS IN --#FACT BY ANANKOS' DESIGN ALL ALONG RATHER THAN JUST AN UNFORTUNATE SIDE EFFECT OF THE POSSESSION..........#gunter honey you may have been more under his thrall than you realized#this would totally align with how he's only able to tell corrin about his family once he's free from the possession. cuz anankos is no --#longer deliberately stealing his memories to make him more willing to act on his behalf.......ough........#of course i still think gunter purposefully indulged in that power from anankos.......latching onto it as an opportunity to exact his --#revenge without really being aware of all the consequences that would coincidence along with that#and of course this is just a lil tidbit for my own self insert lore but if anankos stealing memories is a thing he purposefully does to --#make his victims more malleable that would explain why he would not remember his time in askr or leigh upon returning to the world of --#revelation :''''') and perhaps it would slowly come back to him post game#teehee. having many thoughts. brain exploding. typical behaviour.#once again fates storytelling is fucking exceptional like is it not brilliant that the degenerating dragon who has lived among his people -#far longer than one likely should. and has been scorn by those ppl he so loved as now their memories of him are only full of fear and --#hatred. ends up stealing people's memories to make them more useful in his plan to destroy the world. much like how his own memories have -#been lost to time. and he is a victim to time just like anybody else. OUGH AAAAA MY HEART MY BRAIN IM SO SAD ABOUT FATES AGAIN.#anyways i still gotta play part 5 of the dlc but im saving that for either tonight or tmrw
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#TAGS TLDR YOU CAN NEVER TRULY GO HOME BUT DO YOU WANT TO?#writing a little for d&d and having feelings about this#it was really interesting jasper and i were working on some game mechanics and we kept getting stuck at weird parts and it developed into#this conversation where we realized we experience the world#in such fundamentally different ways. like specifically talking about how paranoia#manifests and stuff but even later in a broader sense like our experiences of time and everything is so different#and they'd be like 'well what if this is something that happened to lock' and id be like 'how could that be something that anyone would#experience' and they were like 'oh because i do'#(example here was my character not realizing he had been magically transported and filling in the blank with vague memories of travel but i#was like. are you not acutely aware of every single moment you are awake and in motion even if it is excruciatingly boring. and jasper#was like. 'oh...no. i could be transported from one place to another and if time passed i wouldnt even think about having traveled or not'#which was WILD to me but then we were like 'okay i guess this cannot be something that happened to lock' because i couldnt even fathom that#but like anyway idk we got weirdly deep dive-y about d&d stuff and personal lives and i had big feelings on it bc genuinely i feel like#there are facets and caverns in myself i have only ever touched in storytelling but particularly in this campaign#and i've joked a lot about Lock and other chars in this game being self inserts#but i mean it in a good way#like the ways we tell stories or experience a world we created together is going to be through an extension of ourselves etc#but it's interesting to me to consider the limitations that brings yknow? we all live by such vastly different sets of rules and#understandings#and im writing out some stuff now and im like. yknow.#lock can never truly go home. i can never truly go home. none of us can ever truly go home#home as shifting impermanence home as transience etc#2017 levi is back apparently but hes always been right
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#avm orange#avm second coming#avm red#avm yellow#animation vs minecraft#animator vs animation#i ran out of pose ideas but purple would like elevate#green likes the dominion#and then blue likes godspeed#also im well aware that these poses kinda suck and that the laurels would get in the way of doing anything. idc#neon white is a game about being cringe as hell /pos#so i get to take some liberties#cw guns#self post#self art#avm#krita
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