#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe

[lovesickeros]

☆ de fontaine

{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k

This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!

She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.

She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.

Furina is tired.

But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?

So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.

Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.

Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.

An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.

She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.

She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.

She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.

And Furina has always been good at lying.

It's the believing that's the hard part.

There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?

Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.

She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?

She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.

Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?

Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.

Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?

They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?

"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"

Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.

Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.

Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.

Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.

"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.

But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.

They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.

She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.

If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..

Furina will make sure they do.

[theradicalscrivener]

I know you are busy with many stories at this moment, so don't feel like I'm pressuring you. But I was wondering if you decided to definitely abandon Gifted Exchange? It has been a long time since you wrote it, and I saw in some asks that you didn't know how to proceed, or something close to that.

And I get it. Personally I wouldn't know how to write a following up chapter to part 2. I think it is because Blake's sidekicks felt less relevant emotionally than Blake himself, so seeing them punished doesn't bring as much satisfaction as when it happened to Blake. Yet, I wouldn't change what you wrote, since I do love those chapters. Probably my favorite scene is in chapter one when Damon makes Blake's dick end up at 5 inches, turning Blake's words against him. I constantly think about that scene because is so well done and so hot.

Anyhow. I mostly ask about Gifted Exchange not to see it completed (I would love if you did, but I understand if you never write a continuation). I mostly can predict one of the sidekicks is probably going to lose their muscles and the other their height. Given the insecurities Damon had and the bullying he was a victim of. Although I am unable to predict what is going to happen with Damon the individual, since he clearly is now on dark path. In any case, I wrote this ask out of the selfish desire to know if I could ask about how Blake is adapting.

See, if I woke up as Blake and was forced to go through the shrinkage and live as such afterwards, I probably would enjoy it greatly. He basically has like my ideal male body at the end of chapter 2 (very tall, muscular, handsome, and the tiniest of cocks). And the fact he always will be naked no matter what is hot too. That said I wouldn't like being a bully, so I don't actively desire to be him. Maybe just look like him, lol.

So if I could know more about him would be lovely. Probably one of the things I enjoy more transformation stories is to learn how the character adapts and continues living their life now that they are different.

Again, feel no pressure to write a continuation or anything. And you are free, of course, to say no this ask or just ignore it.

Have a nice day!

Saying "I decided to indefinitely abandon it" is a weird way to look at it since when I first started writing it, the whole focus was on Blake and Damien, and there was a mention of the lackeys at the end as sort of a suspenseful cliffhanger which left the door open for later additions if I felt like it, but I feel like it works as is as a complete story.

I had kicked around the idea of doing sequels where I focused on Damian using his new powers on the lackeys, but after a few experimental drafts, I kinda ended up scrapping it because I felt like anything I added detracted from what was already written.

It kind of came down to how to treat the two sidekick bullies. I had their attitudes and personalities sort of sorted out.

Raleigh - big, bulky, total terror. He's the sadist of the three. Unlike Blake who bullies to exert status, Raleigh loves to watch others suffer. He latched onto Blake to give him access to people to torment and to keep heat off of himself. Blake's status makes it so Raleigh can live out his worst tendencies with no blowback. With Blake's status in ruins, Raleigh is poised to become The Bully, but that led to trouble with how to write his takedown. I had some physical visuals in mind, like, obviously there would be dink shrink, but Raleigh also not as hot as Blake. He doesn't have the looks nor does he have the bod. As mentioned, Raleigh is bulky. He's got like the off-season look. He's jacked, but he's not cut. One of the ideas I was toying with was forced weightgain/muscle loss for him. Basically, he'd get fatter and weaker and his cock would vanish completely into his fat pad leaving basically a second belly button where his dick should be.

Wayland - quiet, coat tail rider, yes man. While not as nasty as the other two, he latched onto Blake to get second-hand popularity. He has no real personality on his own which means he's not really a good guy nor is he particularly a bad guy. I wasn't sure where to go with him. I had played a few scenarios with him. Since he was doing horrible things just to get some secondhand popularity by virtue of hanging out with Blake, I had kicked around the idea of Wayland getting a lesser sentence, but still getting taken down in a similar but lesser way to how Blake was dealt with. Although, on the other hand, Damian was getting kind of dark at the end of the story with Blake, so I wondered if this would be a good chance for him to try and break free of Faz's influence. Like, he starts to go in on Wayland, but loses his nerve/heart because it doesn't feel like Wayland is as deserving of such a crushing take down. Like, he was kind of an almost ok guy? Maybe he can be rehabilitated?

As for how Blake would deal with the changes after the fact, it's hard to say. I feel like, there would be constant teasing no matter what. Although, how much of that is people genuinely teasing him for his dick and how much of that is people who love to see a bully bested is hard to say. I do feel like the initial torment would kind of die off after a while. He'd never be able to reclaim his former status, but nor would the bullying he receives be anywhere near as intense as he gave. I think at a certain point the permanent nudity thing would get pushed to the back of his mind. He'd barely even notice it until someone else comments on his dick (whether to his face or not). It'd be more like a constant sensation in the back of his mind as opposed to an actual conscious feeling.

I suppose after a while he'd get use to it. He's on his way to college, after all. It's a good time for a fresh start, and he doesn't have all the baggage that came with being a career bully. I'm just imaginging him no longer being a big fish in a small pond (or a big anything for that matter) and trying to learn to just be A Guy. Like, he's no longer the star quarterback. He's no longer the most popular guy around. He could try to become the big man on campus, but I can't imagine he'd have the bravado and confidence to pull it off. The fact that his tiny dick is public knowledge where ever he goes would constantly nag at the back of his mind. Even if he wasn't being called out for it, and even if people weren't treating him differently for it, he would constantly be aware that it was exposed and everyone could see it (if they looked hard enough).

[zarnzarn]

Stolitz fic rec!!

||

I'm going to just drop my favorite stolitz fics here.

They run at night by @wearemisfortune

Blitzo is always moving because when his body stops, his mind races. This almost always leads to a terrible fucking idea.

Tonight is no different—but the result will be.

-lovely angst, lovely climax, and it captures Blitz's line of thinking in a serious tone but in a way still feels authentic to the character. And I'm ALWAYS a sucker for the sheer unconditional trust trope.

Junctures by @sluttycrimehat

To everything, there is a season.

-I still am in complete awe of how the author managed to fit so much in such little time. The bit at the end always fucking gets me, I love it so MUCH.

The last general by @curtailed

It's in a month after, with Stolas spent and lying on his side, that Blitzo finally musters up the courage to tell him.

-Hello??? BEAUTIFUL post-harvest moon fic, wonderful vibes, love how well they know each other in this one, the trust is amazing. Love it.

You got everything that I want by @bipridemoth

Stolas can’t recall a time where “love” wasn’t synonymous with “pain” for him.

With Blitzo, it’s not love. So, there’s no pain. Stolas doesn’t let there be pain, at least not emotionally, the physical pain is something he quite enjoys. When Blitzo leaves after their monthly night together, he doesn’t allow himself to feel pain, only anticipation of the next time. He likes that there’s always a next time, even though that’s because of his active incentive more than anything else. But that’s alright, he doesn’t want Blitzo to come see him without an incentive. He deserves favors in turn for what he’s giving Stolas.

-Stolas angst!!!! The angst really is delicious in this one, with just as nice of a happy ending. Blitz is confident about the relationship, which is Wonderful to read and the "I know where this is going" segment had me in TEARS.

Between fairy tales and realities by @coloringthegreyscale

Blitzo's a complicated imp and Striker and Stolas accept that. But what happens when the two worlds he's made for himself collide together for one night? Well...

-Okay, so yes, this is striker/blitz/stolas, but it's so good. All three of them have a lovely dynamic, managing to work out somehow, with powerful Stolas, wonderful Blitz and a HILARIOUS Striker. Go read the series, it's a lot of fun and has many cute interactions that made me smile.

The look by @seireileafy

Blitz has been noticing a change in Stolas.

-It's such a CUTE drabble, I adore when one person can tell the other is pining for them, and the LAST LINE FUCKING GETS ME EVERY TIME-

Instead I made my bed with apathy by @thebooklord15

Just like every night before this one, Blitzo glared at the form next to him, already lulled into the bliss of slumber. He had never meant for things to turn out this way-he’d gotten the grimoire already, he didn’t need this man and from the way Stolas treated him it was clear he did not need the imp either.

And yet.

-Jcjdkafj this one is so GOOD I love blitz being pissed off yet too deep in to stop, and like I've said for others already THAT LAST LINE, PLEASE-

Call and response by anon

It was a love story, maybe.

-short but deliciously angsty, with some beautiful imagery, really nice dialogue, and time-doesn't-exist-in-this-motel-room vibes. Love it.

Shovel proof by @kereea

Octavia tries to give Blitzo the shovel talk. He decides to help with that.

-FUCKING cute, love the Octavia/Blitz dynamic, and it has snappy fun dialogue!! Really sweet.

Reaching out, touching me, touching you by @allmightshipserasermic

Stolas hasn’t been able to preen sufficiently in quite awhile, since Stella refuses to do it for him anymore. Blitzo offers to help.

-PREENING FIC is there anything more I have to say?

The skin you could have by @coloringthegreyscale

Stolas catches Blitzo staring and it leads to some talk, some magic, and a little bit of fun.

-Again, BEAUTIFUL dynamic between the two, lots of angsty tenderness, and lovely body imagery.

Different shapes by @sirdust

“Before the exorcist, he taketh the image and shape of a man.”

Blitz catches a glimpse of Stolas’ human form.

-okay, practically a direct opposite of the previous fic, but SO GOOD, I can't describe it. Love the imagery and their comfortable relationship.

A helluva mess by @stratumgermanitivum

It’s not like Stolas isn’t a hot piece of ass, because he is.

And it’s not like Blitzo’s blind or anything, because he isn’t.

It’s just that there’s pleasure, and then there’s business, and never the twain shall meet. (Unless he finally gets Moxx on board with that threeway, in which case, Blitzo fully intends to christen every damn surface of the office except his precious Loony’s desk.)

-AMAZING, love the pining and denial on both sides it's so great especially since you can tell both sides know that they've messed up. Again, LAST LINE!!

Eat the whole cake (it's what you deserve) by @okoyik

"His Highness is on the phone for you, sir," Moxxie says.

Blitzo makes a face. "Who?"

"Stolas," Moxxie supplies, as if that's supposed to help Blitzo understand. His expression is surely one of complete confusion as he stares at the other imp.

"Who the fuck is Stolas?" Blitzo asks slowly, racking his brain for a face to put to the name.

-

Blitzo's memory starts to slip, and all he knows is he needs that owl that seems to haunt his nightmares to stay away.

-HELLO it's only on one out of four chapters for now but it's already SO GOOD I can't WAIT for the rest!!!

Stand tall, but your hands are shaking by @remymorton

It’s been a month since the Harvest Moon festival. Another full moon night arrived, and after that... Blitz ... He's not well.

-wordless cute comfort, truly very sweet, I love it.

Palaces and souvenirs by @cloudysonder

So Stolas is objectively. Objectively. Attractive. Kinda soft-looking, sometimes. Pretty. Whatever. Fuckin’ whatever. That’s always been a thing. Blitzo knew that, Stolas definitely knew that-- whatever.

"This is not," Blitzo thinks, sounding a little bit desperate even to himself, "some sort of revelation."

His flicks of the lighter get a little more unstable, a little more frustrated.

A clawed hand reaches over and takes hold of the lighter, lighting Blitzo’s cigarette with practiced ease, as if he’d done the same thing a thousand times before (He has, Blitzo realizes).

“Silly Blitzy,” he giggles quietly, giving Blitzo a soft pat on the head before curling up beside him, stretching one last time before closing his eyes to sleep.

Blitzo feels warm.

"This," Blitzo tells himself, and it sounds like a command, "will not be a problem."

-I saw the start of this fic on Twitter and have been following it religiously ever since. It's really a gorgeous fic, three chapters up, with the promise of a Great slow burn, fun dialogue and Octavia & Blitz bonding. The level of denial Blitz is in even as he moves comfortably around every aspect of Stolas' life cracks me tf up.

Can't by @hazbincalifornia

Blitzo realizes he feels something something that he doesn't want to feel. This was supposed to be simple.

-feelings realization fic, wonderful, amazing, lovely, also the exact same way I realized I was gay, funnily enough (girl fell asleep in my lap and I was like oh. Oh fuck.)

Too late to stop by @malkaviancake

Stolas spends some time with his thoughts, realizing that his feelings for Blitzo aren't as one sided as he presumed.

-GORGEOUS vocab, I'm truly very obsessed with it. Like most of these stories, LAST LINE!!!!

Itchy with want, thin on sleep by me

It happens in parts- both falling in love and having his eyes opened.

-I will,, finish this one day, but for now here's a few in between moments before they have The Conversation.

Heaven in hiding by me

Their nights together are good, they always are, both of their tastes lining up to be shockingly compatible, but on the days where they end early and they get to spend some extra time cleaning up in comfortable silence or playful banter- and Blitz would rather take a bullet than admit this out loud- but those nights are pretty great too.

-AFTERCARE FIC, I had to write an aftercare fic ft. Good dom Blitz, Stolas taking care of him in return and a comfortable relationship that they both know is going to cause Problems in the future :)

Love in the bones and sinews of this curse by me

Five times Stolas and Blitz needed the grimoire to break a curse + one time they didn't.

-self explanatory. I tried to make it as funny as possible, everyone bickers a lot and Blitz brings Stolas flowers and gifts, what more could you need?

Life is a curse (love makes it worse) by me

"Alright!" Blitz says, clapping his hands together, "Weapons out, and-"

Half pull out some gun or the other, but half just look at him blankly. Blitz wishes for death.

"Save me from this family," He mutters under his breath, "Okay. Take these then." He passes out the few weapons he'd brought along with him and doesn't ask if they know how to use them because if he hears a no, he's giving up and going back home. "Stick close and talk loudly so the others can hear us. Let's go."

They move out, Blitz taking the lead and the rest forming a circle close behind him, starting up a loud conversation about the neighbour's garden. It gives him enough time to wonder exactly what the fuck he's doing here, in a nightmare world with a bunch of pretentious snobs, searching for his stupid Ars Goetia boyfriend, instead of sleeping in his nice lumpy bed back at home.

-a sequel to the previous fic!!! I had to write some Octavia and Blitz bonding, and accidentally added in a bunch of teenage imps who work for Stolas who imprint on Blitz immediately. And there's Eldritch Stolas, protective boyfriends and found family!!! The whole shebang!!!

This ended up being Much longer than I'd expected, but genuinely every fic up there is really good, go check em out!!!!

[wqxianwriting]

you & your crush. pt 2..

not proofread | gn!reader & crush (your bsf/friend is gn! too)

#%a/n%#;; OKAY FINALLY, took abt a month but its out LOL, pt 2 isnt really like a sequel to pt 1 its like pt 2 of me writing about the crush. again !! might not fit you and your crush bc its based of on mine but i hope its enjoyable. also sorry for the awkward spacing i wrote this on phone,, will edit when my computer isnt dead aka the keys will work again 😁😁💔

your bed creaks from the shifting of movement, your feet tapping the floor as you continue to bounce while staring at the wall. you’re bored. eyes traveling over the very familiar room a sigh leaves your mouth as you grab your phone and exit the room, hungry and boredom isn’t a great mix. your phone vibrates as you bounce to the kitchen, unlocking the device and clicking on the discord notification your friend asked what you’re doing.

mocha today at 3:46 PM

wyd?

y/n today at 3:47 PM

i’m making food. it’s a boring ass day, wyd? 😁

mocha today at 3:47 PM

oh, L imagine being bored.

wanna meet up? when you finish eating

you hum, swiftly opening the fridge to ponder, index finger tapping the top of the door in a random beat. do you wanna go outside? your eyes dancing to cover every food in the fridge — having all the food you’d enjoy but not knowing what sounds pleasing, tongue running over your bottom lip. maybe. your eyes go back to your phone finally thinking of a response,

y/n today at 3:49 PM

depends,, where we going? i kinda wanna go to the movies. is anything good playing?

awaiting for a reply you lock your phone and slide it in your pocket, hands going back to the fridge and grabbing some things. a cold water bottle, a case of fruit, and ingredients for a sandwich. your mind randomly starts thinking of your crush, you would invite them but knowing them and their weird behavior towards you they’d asked when but say no in the end. you sigh, opening a drawer with the silverware and take out a butter knife.

“i do wanna talk to them today at least… Hmm.” A slice in bread on one hand and the butter knife with the essence of your choice, you slide it over the bread. your nose getting a whiff of the bread makes your tummy rumble, you consider making a second one but decide against it. for some reason when you make two you end up getting full and not finishing the second one but when you make one you’d make another and be able to finish it like it was nothing. the human body makes no sense. are you human?

a snort exhales out of your body, shaking your head slightly before finishing the final touches of the yummy sandwich and putting the things away. you reach for a paper towel, ripping it and wiping the knife down before getting another and setting the knife on the clean one. trashing the used you exit the kitchen with your food and sit on the couch, placing the meal on the coffee table then grabbing the remote. your legs widen a bit on reflex, removing your phone from your pant pocket and unlocking it once more.

your friend had messaged you about 3 times but you ignored it for now, opening up messages and clicking on your crush’s contact. a small smile takes over your previous expression, typing in what you wanna say.

‘hey shawty bae 😍 i hope the world is treating you right on this boring day. how is my kitten?’

a quick laugh escapes your lips, shoulders shaking and a smirk taking over the smile. you’ve said dumb shit like this before to tease them but it never fails to make you laugh. you close the message window and open discord again, finally responding to your poor friend.

mocha today at 3:52 PM

i mean, i don’t know. i tried looking.

you got anything in mind?

actually why are you asking me? you figure out the movie, you want to go.

well, they got you there. but damn. rude.

y/n today at 4:01 PM

ok, bitch also sorry for late reply you know food is important than friends <3

mocha today at 4:01 PM

wow

y/n today at 4:02 PM

anywyas, 😁

we can just go to the theater and find something im too lazy to look at the internet aha. bad choice but you know 🥰��

mocha today at 4:02 PM

very bad choice but sure, what time you finishing?

y/n today at 4:02 PM

give me like 20-30 mins, am i picking you up or we meeting at the plaza? park?

mocha today at 4:03 PM

ok and we can meet at the park

y/n today at 4:03 PM

omg when they dont complain and finally come to the park… IT'S ABOUT DRIVE ⁉️ IT'S ABOUT POWER 🥶 WE STAY HUNGRY 👹🍗 WE DEVOUR 😈🗣💯‼ PUT IN THE WORK 😯💨🦾 PUT IN THE HOURS 😈🦾⌚ AND TAKE WHAT'S OURS 😫‼

mocha today at 4:03 PM

nvm, blocked. ignored. don’t text me again.

y/n today at 4:04 PM

LMAOOOOOOOO LOVE YOU TOO 😁😁

you lowly chuckle, closing discord and realizing you had a message. you click the notification and smile seeing your crush respond.

‘what?’ makes you laugh.

‘just answer the question shawty bae…’ you respond.

they text back quickly which surprises you but doesn’t, usually the two of you have a back and forth thing where if one responses 5 minutes later the other responses 5 minutes later, etc. your cheeks felt warm.

‘stop calling me that’

typing bubbles…

‘and i’m good, it is a boring day currently in a vc. hbu?’

‘im pretty good, planning to hang out with [bsf/friend name]. how’s the vc?’

‘it’s alright, they’re being weird’

‘also what are y’all going to do?’

your heart lowkey skipped a beat. the urge to invite them was banging in your head but you rolled your eyes at the thought. whatever.

‘movies, wanna come? 🥺’ you both used the emoji to tease eachother — sharing a love/hate relationship with the emoji and eachother. you’d only use that emoji with your other friends when they show like their pets or you’re asking them for something so it fit.

‘maybe. when?’ ah. yup.

‘like in, 20-30 mins’

they stopped responding for a bit, a minute turned into three but eventually sent a message.

‘what movie theater and what movie?’

asking so many questions, you sighed, wishing they’d say yes already. you wonder if they were doing this on purpose or seriously considering their options. either way it was ticking you off. you started munching on your food, sandwich tasting immaculate and the fruits going down with a nice taste. the tv was long forgotten too emerged in the texting and food.

‘closest theater goofy and we’re just gonna go there and look at what movies are there.’

you let out a sigh of relief, flopping the phone away from you and standing up to throw away the trash. putting the fruits back in the fridge and opening the cap of your water with a pop, the cold beverage going through your body makes you feel chills but you shake it off and go to your room to get your coat and your bag. making sure you have everything you need to slide the bag on your shoulder after putting on the coat and walk back to the living room.

your battery read 83% and you walked out of the house, locking it behind you and walking to the park. you went onto discord to tell your friend you were gonna be there soon, an alright sent back and opened your crush’s contact again.

‘sure’

a person of small words, make you angry but happy that they’d be coming along. took them long enough to reply a simple YES but you’re smitten so you let it slide. for now.

‘OK I’M GOING TO THE PARK RN.’

‘i think [bsf/friend name] is coming rn too’

the noise of your phone ringing surprises yo, waiting a few seconds then answering the phone. “hello?”

“yo wassup. you both are going right now?” the voice made you do a goofy ass motherfucking grin. simp.

“i just left the house, [bsf/friend name] just said alright. oh wait.” you notice another discord message saying they’re leaving in 5 minutes. “they’re coming in five. what’s up?”

“uhhh, nothing. i’m bringing [crush’s bsf name] too by the way. sorry for the inconvenience.” the last sentence was a mocking tone, you could tell they had a smirk on their face by hearing the small ‘ha’ come from the other line.

“yeah?” you say in a breathless tone. “we don’t allow plus ones, i can only be a sugar daddy/mommy/parent to two right now.” you sigh dramatically.

“aww boo~ i’ll send you cat picture,” their voice shifts to a higher one, “if you let this go, just this once. i’ll pay for him.” your eyes roll so hard and the way you coughed out a laugh, anyone would think you’re being dramatic.

“whatever. are you staying on the line or what?”

“are you trying to ditch me?” they feigned hurt.

“yeah.” you mutter jokingly, “i mean no. of course not shawty bae, i loves you till the ends of the earfs.” then you started to hum ‘my boo’ by usher (& alicia keys).

“shut up.” they breathed out a laugh, you heard some shuffling on the other line before they spoke up again. “guess what?”

you reached the park, sighing, “what?”

“chicken butt.” then the line disconnects. you let out a heavier sigh the disappointment taking over your body. what the fuck is wrong with them?

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

VAUNNA I LURK A LOT HI BUT I JUST WATCHED IMPULSE'S FINAL YHIRD LIFE EPISODE MY HEART IS BROKEN AND I NEED M O R E P A I N

(coherently: impulse angst please i beg of you. i grovel at your feet. alternatively villain impulse. just take my heart out and stomp on it. thanks <3 also sorry for the caps i just have a lot of feelings rn)

ahh Villainpulse is such good material! i decided to make this a sequel to this one so go read it first :)

cw: fire, murder (just in case, cuz this one is kinda dark)

…

Impulse returns to the wool castle late the next night and collapses onto his bed, exhausted and a little frustrated. Etho’s confrontation with Bdubs didn’t quite go as planned. The closest they came to a fight breaking out was when Cleo started snapping about how she didn’t trust Etho. No angry words were exchanged between Etho and Bdubs at all. It seems Impulse has overestimated their rivalry.

A knock at the door. “Impulse?”

He gives a sigh but quickly rolls onto his side and calls, “Come in.”

The door opens and Etho’s face peers in. “Hey, do you have a minute to talk?”

“Yeah, sure.” Impulse forces a smile. “What’s up?”

“I’m worried,” Etho admits. “Cleo REALLY seems to think I murdered Tango, and I’m a little concerned that she’s going to turn Bdubs against me.”

“Really?” Impulse responds. “That wouldn’t be good, since she was talking about making an alliance with the desert people earlier.”

“Exactly. If we’re not careful, the server will end up splitting into war. I know you’re on better terms with Bdubs than I am; would you consider going over to talk to him tomorrow?”

Impulse nods. “Sure thing. I’m sure I can work something out.”

“Thanks.” Etho gives a grateful smile. “Anyway, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, man.”

Impulse lies back on his bed, even more disgruntled than he was before. The war he’s slowly been cultivating is so close to being brought to fruition, but the slightest wrong move might destroy all his hard work. Bdubs and Etho will be the catalysts. They’ve got the right animosity and the right allies behind them to spark the war, but he just needs the right fuel to set it off.

It’s time for drastic action.

…

Under the cover of night, Impulse makes his way out to the crastle, armed with a sword and a flint and steel. With his intricate knowledge of the crastle’s defences, he makes it to the inner wall undetected and sets up a ladder against it. Climbing up, he creeps in through a very specific window.

As expected, Cleo is fast asleep in her bed. Impulse hesitates for only a moment. This is neither fair nor right, but Impulse doesn’t really care at the moment. He’s come way too far to fall now.

So, with a cold and emotionless expression, he stabs Cleo through the chest, in such a way that will severely injure her but not kill her immediately. She lets out a weak cry, but her eyes don’t open.

When he’s sure she hasn’t woken up, Impulse sets the fire near her bed, before escaping back out the window and shimmying down the ladder he set up. He can see smoke starting to pour out of Cleo’s window.

So he turns and flees.

He’s just made it back to the wool castle when the notification comes up on his communicator.

ZombieCleo went up in flames

Impulse settles himself back into bed.

And he smiles.

…

The next morning, Etho isn’t around, so Impulse goes straight to the crastle. He can see noticable fire damage around Cleo’s window; clearly, Bdubs had managed to put out the fire in time to save the crastle but not in time to save Cleo.

He knocks on the door.

It takes a full minute for the door to open but when it does, it reveals a red-eyed Bdubs, who’s clearly been crying.

“I’m so sorry,” Impulse murmurs, pulling his friend into a hug. “I saw in chat. What happened?”

Bdubs sniffles. “Th-There was a fire. In C-Cleo’s room. I woke up in the middle of the n-night and smelt smoke so I r-rushed down to her room and put out the f-fire but it was too late for her.”

“Oh, I-I’m so sorry…”

Impulse opens his mouth to speak again, but Bdubs quickly draws him inside the crastle and shuts the door behind him. A haunted look has appeared in his eyes. “Impulse… I-I think Etho murdered Cleo.”

Impulse’s eyes widen. This isn’t quite an act; he’s genuinely shocked that Bdubs came to the conclusion Impulse wanted him to come to this quickly, and all on his own. “Wait, what?! Y-You mean the fire wasn’t accidental?”

“No, it was deliberate. She…” Bdubs suppresses a sob. “She was stabbed in the chest first. The fire was to cover the tracks of whoever killed her, to make sure their name wouldn’t show up in chat.”

“Oh no…!” Impulse gasps. “B-But what makes you think it was Etho?”

“I don’t know for sure, but wh-when we talked yesterday, Etho mentioned something about how easy it would be to sneak into the crastle with just a few ladders and… this morning, I found a ladder outside the wall. I know it’s far from conclusive evidence, I just… I can’t shake the horrible feeling that he did this because Cleo said she suspected he killed Tango. Maybe he realised he had to take her out before she discovered any evidence he left behind.”

“N-No, I… That can’t be…! Etho would never do something like that!”

“I want to believe that,” says Bdubs sadly. “But I-I just can’t. I’m gonna avenge Cleo, Impulse. No matter what it takes.”

After a moment, Impulse nods. “I understand. Are you gonna talk to him?”

“Later. First, I’m gonna finish making that alliance with Scott and Grian’s group. Etho’s got Dogwarts on his side, so I’m gonna need the other guys on mine.”

“Got it. And I’ll help too; I’m on your side 100%, remember?”

Bdubs nods gratefully. “Yeah, thanks. Let me know if Etho does anything suspicious.”

“I will.”

…

When Impulse gets back, he finds Etho waiting for him. “Hey,” he says. “You went to the crastle, right? How’s Bdubs doing?”

“Not good,” Impulse responds sadly. “He seems to have got it in his head that you murdered Cleo.”

“What?!” Etho gasps, sounding genuinely shocked and taken by surprise. “Why would he think that?!”

Impulse shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know, dude. But he’s pretty convinced. And he’s going over to the desert right now to ally with Grian and Scott so he can rally them against you.”

Etho’s gaze darkens. “Okay, he’s gone too far. First he tries to pin Tango’s murder on me, now Cleo’s? We gotta do something about him, Impulse. Are you in?”

“Absolutely. I’m on your side 100%.”

“Good.” Etho gratefully places his hand on Impulse’s shoulder. “Thanks. We’ll rally the rest of Dogwarts and see if we can get to Scott and Jimmy before they do. If it’s a war Bdubs wants, it’s a war he’ll get.”

Impulse smiles. He can sense no distrust in Etho’s voice or expression whatsoever, just like Bdubs. Neither of them suspect him of anything.

Oh, he’ll get it all right.

You both will.

[btsmakesmehappy]

Sweet Scent | 4

Genre: Agent au. Colleague au. Mutual pining. Angst with Fluff at the end

Pairing: Agent!Jungkook x Forensic Doctor!reader

Word Count: 10k

Rating: 18+ (M)

Warning: reader feels a little insecure. reader is held on a gun point. (Not too explicit) violence. Guns. Reader and JK are hurt. Angsty with fluffly ending. I think it’s all? (Please tell me if I miss something!)

Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | completed

Summary: Why does he always look so nervous in front of you? Is it because of your excessive flirting? But how come you don’t tease him when he looks so incredibly cute every time he blushes?

Series Masterlist: The Company

A/N: Thank you for @arizonapoppy for betareading mine. You’re the best! Also the next part (sequel/drabble) will be posted next year just so the timeline makes more sense. So the next update will be the other member <3 Hope you enjoy!

Send an ASK if you want to be added in the taglist!

A knock on the door made you turn your head in confusion. You’re not expecting anyone right now. It’s almost nine o’clock in the night, and the building should be emptied by now, it’s past the office-hours.

Maybe a new case?

With the thought of that, your smile was beaming. You rose from the chair quickly and walked to the door. It’s the person behind the door that made you thank God that you decided to stay late at the Company.

Jeon Jungkook.

It’s been a month since you saw him in the firing range. You’re hoping to meet him again somewhere in the building, especially the cafeteria (because there is some information that you’d find him there), but you’ve never got the chance. The funniest thing was the other colleagues always found him there, except you. It’s just like destiny didn’t want you to meet him.

You believed in destiny. You believed in the universe.

You believed in the fall-in-love -at-the-first-sight. You believed in there’s sparks when you grazed someone's hand. You believed in the fallen books when you bumped the one in the corner of the street. You believed in the stranger sitting beside you on the plane while you’re travelling.

But unluckily for you, that’s never happened.

Still, you tried to believe in destiny, hoping to get some of it in your life.

After a month sitting in the cafeteria, waiting to bump a certain someone there, you’re getting tired of waiting for destiny. Well, even though you’d met him, would you still call it destiny? Weren’t you forcing it?

Which is why, it’s so weird how the universe just sent him to you that day. The day when you skipped washing your hair for the four days because you overslept and you’d tie it into a bun anyway. The day when your eyebrow pencil suddenly went missing. The day when you ate tomato pasta and dropped it on your shirt, leaving your white shirt with a huge red stain on the chest.

Why should it be that day?

Maybe the universe hated you.

“Y/N, right?”

His voice rang like a church bell, ringing through your ears and shaking your entire body. It’s almost magical that he sounded like an angel, and you longed him.

You couldn’t remember how long you looked at him, as his face turned red and uncomfortable. “He-Hello?” He timidly asked.

You shook your head quickly, “Ah, sorry. What can I do for you?” You opened the door widely as you gestured to him to come inside.

But Jungkook stayed in his spot, outside the doorway. He lowered his head to look at the paper in his hand, refusing to look at your eyes. “I need a report from the Ahn case.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, leaning to the door frame. “About that, I don’t think it will be done by tomorrow. As you know Doctor Lee is still sick, so there’s no one to finalize the report.”

Jungkook bites his lips and sighed. “Yeah, I heard. Can you just- you know what, nevermind. Thank you.”

He bowed to you slightly and walked away. Even his body was that bulky, you could see how tired he was from behind. And somehow it hit a soft spot in your heart.

And maybe, you just wanted to be with him.

“Hey!” You yelled, he turned his back to you in confusion. “Do you want to see the report for a bit?”

Three days.

Three days you rejected every call from Jungkook. Three days you ignored all the knocks at the door from him. Three days you deleted all the messages he sent without even reading them. Three days.

And by Friday, you’re back to work, only because your days off are over. And unfortunately for you, Jungkook knows it too. It’s about time for you two to meet each other. It’s about time for you to stop avoiding him.

So, on that same day, you wake earlier than usual, leaving your apartment earlier than usual, but still go to work as late as you can. You hide at the bakery near the Company, eating a chocolate croissant, drawing it out by pulling it into flakey pieces, procrastinating.

You still can’t meet him yet. You don’t want to.

You walk as fast as you can to the elevator when you arrive at the Company. You look left and right as you tap your foot impatiently, waiting for the elevator. This elevator is taking so long.

“Y/N!”

You tense as you hear your name, looking timidly to the source of the voice. Please don’t be Jungkook, please. And when you look at the man standing behind you, you sigh in relief. “Hey, Jimin. What’s up?”

“How are you doing? Why do you look so pale? See a ghost?” Jimin asks while resting his arm on your shoulder.

You laugh awkwardly. “Ah really? Maybe just from the lack of sleep.”

He looks at you weirdly. “You literally had days off, why did you have a lack of sleep?”

You clear your throat, there is no way you would tell him about what happened and how it bothered your sleep so much. How his best friend and colleague is the reason for your tiredness. “Just some Netflix. Catching some dramas.”

“Really? What drama did you watch?” He asks excitedly.

“Uhh. Itaewon Class?” You let it slip your mouth. You don’t even know what the drama is about, only heard the title from Sehun a week ago.

Jimin looks at you with widened eyes and takes a step backward. “Well, I shouldn’t be too close with you then. I don’t want to be spoiled. I haven’t watched all of the episodes.”

You smile. “Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t.” In the corner of your eyes you can see a familiar man walking to both of you, a man that you want to avoid. Somehow in the middle of a busy lobby, your eyes were still drawn to Jungkook. He still doesn’t see you, which is good news. Checking the elevator, you hiss softly because it is still on the eleventh floor. Too long. “Anyway, I’m gonna have a call first. See you later!” You walk away from Jimin, without spending another glance. You need to get out of there, fast.

You still can’t see him yet.

Lucky for you, you decided to wear sneakers today. At least you can run four flights of stairs without being afraid of sprained ankles.

“Hey Kook!” Jimin calls and waves excitedly. “Overslept?”

Jungkook smiles weakly. “You can say that.” Lie. In fact, he woke up earlier than usual and he went to your apartment, and after two hours of waiting in front of your apartment like a persistent stalker, he finally realized that you’d already left the apartment. But Jimin doesn’t need to know that.

Jimin nods in understanding. “Oh, you know who’s come back to the Company? Y/N! Apparently her days off have ended. Actually, she was here just now.”

“Really?” Jungkook asks with widened eyes. “Where is she now?”

Jungkook’s reaction catches Jimin off-guard. The way Jungkook finally shows some interests in you, makes Jimin happy. “Well.. She said that she’s calling someone. You know, since you can’t have a phone call inside the elevator. But I don’t know where she is.”

Jungkook looks around him, but he still can’t find you. A thought drifts into his head, that you saw him and still didn’t want to meet him. And with that thought, he feels a stab in his heart.

Jungkook, you’re so stupid. You’re drunk stupid.

He wants to hit himself. Oh, he would if he can, especially in front of you. Not that he wants to show off or something, he just wants you to know how terrible and bad he feels about what he’s done. He even swore himself that he won’t get drunk ever again.

You stupid drunk jerk.

Even if you wanted to see him, what should he say? He hasn’t thought about it, and yet he called, messaged, and came to your apartment for three days in desperation.

“Kook?” Jimin asks warily. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Ah. yes. I’m okay.”

Jimin sends a mischievous smile to Jungkook. “You want to run after Y/N, don’t you?” he asks as the elevator finally arrives at their floor.

Jungkook looks at his feet and decides to step into the elevator. If she still doesn’t want to see me, there’s no point for me to force her. “Nah. I don’t want to.”

Lie.

How he wants to see you so much. So damn much it’s hurting him.

“Well-well, who’s there?” Sehun turns his chair to see you, still controlling your breath in front of the door. ”Why are you out of breath?”

“Stairs.” You roll your eyes as you wipe the beads of sweat forming on your forehead. You really need to work out sometimes, not just sitting and living a sedentary lifestyle.

He raises one of his eyebrows. “The elevator is broken?”

You shake your head weakly and sit on your chair. “Just need a little exercise.”

Sehun squints at your face and hums, realizing something is not right about you. “How are you? Okay?”

You nod and sigh. “Yeah.” You send him a weak smile. You look at your desk, it’s clean but you can still see the horrible image burned in your mind. It’s kinda hard for you to just delete it from your memory. Besides, it happened less than a week ago.

“Oh, I also finished your report. I was thinking that at least we should send an actual report, even though the investigation fell apart. What do you think?”

“What? I’m sorry. What are we talking about?” you ask, looking lost.

Sehun sends an assuring smile. “This report. We should send it to the agents. Don’t you think?”

You fiddle the corner of your shirt. “Yeah, I think we should.”

“You want to give it to them?” Sehun asks again. You bite your lips, your mind wanders. Seeing your sudden silence, Sehun rises from his seat and taps your shoulder lightly. “Actually, just stay here. I’ll take it to them.”

You watch his back disappearing from your sight. Again, you’re alone in this office. This office, your second home, but you barely feel comfortable sitting here. The scent of coffee you usually make every day is absent, since Sehun never drinks coffee in the office. You only detect the lemon scent from the air refresher in the corner. It’s supposed to be relaxing but instead, it makes your heart beat rapidly.

You feel sad.

Jungkook sighs again at his desk for God knows how many times. And everytime he sighs, it is just getting louder.

It begins to irritate the other agents around him. Especially since they haven’t been assigned to another case yet. To them, The Case of The Young Man in Distress, is their new case, and it somehow excites them.

Hoseok steals a glance at Taehyung and Jimin, sending signals right then and there. After they nod, they roll their chairs closer to Jungkook’s desk. “What’s up with you, Kook?” Hoseok starts.

Jungkook stares at the screen of his laptop, hands continually moving his mouse without any intention. “I’m fine.”

Taehyung snorts. “No, you’re not. Tell us what happened.”

“I’m fineeee.”

The older men share another look between them, they all look so concerned about Jungkook, but what can they do if Jungkook shuts his own mouth, let alone his feelings?

Jimin notices that their office door is open and yells deliberately loud. “Oh. Here’s our favorite forensic doctor!” It makes Jungkook flinch and Jimin sees Jungkook trying to steal a glance at the door and takes a deep sigh. “Our Sehun-ie. What can we do for you?”

“Just delivering some reports.” Sehun looks at the agents crowding Jungkook’s desk and points directly to Jungkook. “What’s wrong with him?” The agents shrug simultaneously.

“We are trying to find out. Wanna join?” Hoseok pulls another chair beside him, tapping the seat, gesturing to him to sit.

Sehun throws the report on the desk. “I want to. But I also need to find out what happened to my staff too.” Sehun turns his back and waves to them over his shoulder. “She looks troubled and unfocussed. Bad day, I think. See you, then.”

With the sudden drop of information, the three of them look at Jungkook’s reaction, who freezes in his seat. Something must have happened with the two of you.

Jimin asks cautiously. “Did something happen with Y/N?”

“Maybe on the day when you went missing after drinking with Yoongi?” Taehyung adds, which makes the older guys look at him questioningly. “Yoongi-hyung told me.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer, instead he sighs and runs his hand through his hair in exasperation. The other agents know that they hit a sore spot. He bites his lips, hesitant to talk to them, but on the other hand, he doesn’t know what to do. Everything he chose seems like a wrong choice. Everything he does seems to push you away even further. “I-I just don’t know what I should do, Hyung.”

Hoseok pats Jungkook’s shoulder softly. “Tell us in detail. We’ll help you.”

And just like that, everything opened in public, well, to his best friends. How his heart feels weird whenever he sees you. How his heart ached when he saw you hurt. How you looked so weak and pained and disappointed when he took you home. How he went to your apartment drunk. How he wanted to apologize to you. How he kissed you drunk and how you pushed him back. How his heart crashed when he saw you cry, sobbing on the floor.

They listen to his story carefully, patting his shoulder several times when he looks like he’s going to burst into tears.

“And now, she doesn’t want to see me. I’ve been trying for three days.”

The silence falls in the room, it is interrupted when Jimin hits Jungkook’s head lightly. “Aigoo, you are an adult now. Stupid, but still, I’m just so proud of how you grew this fast.” Jimin smiles and hugs Jungkook lightly.

Jungkook whines. “Hyung, that’s not the point. What should I do?”

Taehyung suddenly raises his hand in the air. “Wait a minute, if Y/N really likes Jungkook, why did she push him away like that?”

“Well, y’know,” Jimin rolls his eyes, “you didn’t exactly get her permission before you kissed her.”  

Hoseok held his hand up, silencing Jimin and Taehyung. “She might have thought that you just did it out of guilt.” Hoseok says softly. “Or maybe a pity, just a mere responsibility.”

“What?” Jungkook looks at him weirdly.

Hoseok explains further, “You know like a novel, when you hit someone with a car, and he/she lost their ability to walk, so you just decide to be with them? Or remember when you spilled coffee on my report and you decided to write it yourself and also bought me a pair of sneakers?”

“But I didn’t do those things to her out of guilt.” He gulps. “I-I don’t hate her. I don’t even know why I did it.”

Jimin smiles again widely, his eyes turn into crescents. “Are you sure you don’t know? I know that deep down, you know it.”

“Just tell her sincerely then about what you don’t know.” Taehyung smiles and puts his hand on Jungkook’s head, ruffling his hair softly.

Jungkook sighs again. “She doesn’t want to see me.”

“If she really likes you, she’ll come around, Kook.” Hoseok smiles and hugs the younger man. “Now, go find her!”

Jungkook looks at him with widened eyes. “Like, now?”

“Of course, silly. The faster the better.” Jimin laughs. “Go!”

“I don’t know what to say to her, I don’t prepare anything.”

Taehyung looks at Jungkook in disbelief. “What do you want? A teleprompter? Just tell her your feelings, dumbass!”

Weirdly enough, Jungkook rises from his seat and takes off running, leaving his cubicle empty. “I thought you bet that Jungkook won’t end up with her, hyung?” Jimin teases.

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck and smiles. “The moment he told us what happened to him just showed who’s gonna win the bet. And besides, I just want him to be happy.”

Taehyung moves his chair back to his desk. “How about we change our bet to another topic then? We have plenty of subjects to bet about.”

You rack your brain, trying to find a place where you won’t meet Jungkook. And after mentally listing the places, you decided to hide in the infirmary. It’s unused and no one is gonna be there. So you can hide for a moment. Just like when you’re in high school, you fake a stomach ache, just so you can get some sleep or when you forgot to bring your math textbook.

Well, five minutes of sleep are considered a privilege then, as you hear the door opened.

You look from inside a curtain, trying to identify the man who just came in with a cart full of cleaning supplies. Cleaning service? The man quietly sweeps the floor skillfully, and you suddenly feel that you shouldn’t be there, as you’re just gonna disturb his job. Just as you open the curtain harshly, you tilt your head in confusion. “Jin?”

Jin looks at you in surprise, almost dropping the broom on his hand. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Resting,” you say with an awkward smile. “What are you doing here? What’s with the broom and the gloves?”

Jin sighs and turns away from you, continuing to sweep the floor. “Cleaning.”

“Do you do this every day?” It’s just so weird for such an elite agent doing some cleaning in this place. Especially, since the Company also hires a cleaning service.

“No. Just every few days. Since it’s not used, it doesn’t get dirty that fast. I just clean this room when the cleaning service has their day off.” Jin answers lightly as he picks a towel to wipe the surface of the table.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just my hobby,” Jin pauses and looks at the white wall. “or maybe I just hope that she’ll come back. You know right that she hates dust?” He laughs awkwardly. He clears his throat and looks at you warily. “Are-are you still in touch with her?”

“No.” You look at him quietly, somehow you can see his pain from his wide shoulder. It’s been a few years, but Jin is still hung up on her, still missing her. “Are you okay?” you ask cautiously.

Jin scoffs and walks away again, wiping the cabinet this time, “why? Do I look pathetic?”

You shake your head softly. “No. But you look broken-hearted.”

He turns his head to face you, looking into your eyes. “Well, so do you.”

Your jaw clenches, like how he hit your spot correctly. Tears threaten to fall down and you try to stop it by biting your lips. At the moment, you feel weaker and sad. You sigh and look at your feet. “What’s new?” you laugh dryly.

Jin puts away his supplies and removes his gloves as he walks to you, and plops on the bed beside you. “What happened?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I was just thinking that mayb-”

“Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there. You’re not thinking. It’s an assumption.”

You look at him in disbelief. “Wh-what?”

He sighs, “Whatever your problem was, and whoever he was, you’re overthinking this.”

“You don’t even know what the problem is.”

“I don’t. But I believe that you need to talk to him regardless of what the problem is, not talk to your mind, making assumptions. You know, the key to a healthy relationship is communication, and it applies to every relationship. Business, family, or even Love.” Jin sends you a smile. “Just talk to him. The misunderstanding won’t solve itself.”

You sigh again. “What if it doesn’t work? What if it’s not a misunderstanding but a mistake?”

“Then talk a little more. Apologize if you need to. Forgive if you still want to be with him.” Jin stops, and swallows slowly. His voice cracks. “Fight for it, if it is worth fighting for, until you can’t fight anymore. Until you don’t have any regrets.”

You look at him carefully. You’ve never talked to him ever since you worked in the Company, let alone seeing his eyes like this. But now, you can see how he’s deep in pain. And you understand what he talked about. His experience. The thoughts of what he should have done before. The choices he regrets now.

You hop from the bed and walk to the door. “Thank you. I’ll try.” As you walk closer to the door, you turn to face him again. “She must have a reason, Jin. I don’t know what it was, but she would never hurt you.”

“I know.” Jin answers quickly. He darts his eyes away from you so that he can hide his watering eyes, and smiles. “So does Jungkook.”

I know.

You walk out from the elevator, squeezing your body from the others inside. It’s lunch time already, and you’re lucky enough that you can slip into the crowded elevator.

Seventh floor is quiet, but not as deserted as the last time you went there. You look around you, hoping to see a particular person. The one you need to see. The one you miss.

You sigh, heart thumping inside your chest. You’re not gonna lie that you’re nervous, and that’s not because of the thought of seeing Jungkook again. It’s the thought, an assumption, of what he’s gonna say. You’re afraid of hearing his reason, afraid that it’ll break your heart even more.

A little part of you tells you that it’s better this way, and just move on. But you realize, playing hide and seek with him won’t solve any problem. It will just hurt you, or both of you. If you need to move on from him, at least there’s no loose ends. And Jungkook deserves a chance to explain everything to you, in person.

“Y/N?”

You turn your head to the man calling you and sigh disappointedly. “Oh, hey Yoongi.”

Yoongi laughs a little. “Why do you always bump into me when you’re looking for Jungkook?” Yoongi looks more professional since the last time you met him, maybe because he’s sober right now, or because he wears a neat suit instead of his black hoodie.

You smile, feeling embarrassed that you’ve been found out. “How do you know that I’m looking for him?”

He shrugs, “nah, I just feel that there’s something about you two that needs to be finished.”

“Oh. I see.” You divert your gaze from him, “So, where can I find him?”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know. I just came here.” He stretches his pale arms and continues, “y’know, overslept. Actually, maybe Jungkook is in the training room. He usually trains himself when he feels stressed about something.”

Your jaw clenches with the sudden information, forcing yourself to smile once more. “Thank you, I’ll get going then.”

You nod and walk again to the elevator, just the moment it arrives. When you’re inside the elevator, Yoongi yells to you, “He feels bad, Y/N---” You can only hear a snatch from him as the door closes, stopping you from hearing the full sentence.

I know.

You’ve been pacing the corridor for almost fifteen minutes, staring at the men’s locker room door. You perk your head to the door, every time it opens. And every time you do it, you’re left with another disappointment. Not to mention, all of the other male agents stare at a suspicious woman who’s lurking in front of a locker room.

Except one agent.

“Doctor Y/N?”

You’re leaning on the wall while massaging your calves. You squint in order to see the man approaching you better. “Kim Namjoon?”

Namjoon pauses in front of you, sending a warm smile. He’s drying his hair with the towel and his other hand holds a gym bag. “Yes, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself properly to you. Please just call me Namjoon.” He drops his bag to the ground clumsily, making some of his things flow out from the unzippered bag, reaching out his hand to shake yours. “I’m afraid that Jungkook is not here.”

Your eyes widen. “Ho-how do you know that I’m looking for him?”

He laughs and drops to one knee to gather his fallen things. “Just a little guess. A little bird told me that you’ve been working with him, so, yeah, I just thought that it might be a work thing.”

“Have you seen him anywhere then?” you sigh.

“I’m afraid not, Doc. I’ve been in the training room since dawn, haven’t seen him anywhere near here.” Namjoon smiles apologetically as he hangs his bag over his shoulder. “Have you checked the pool? He’s been wanting to practice diving since our last mission in Hawaii.”

You shake your head softly. “I haven’t, I’m gonna check there then. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Doc. You see, Jungkook is sometimes a little hard to talk to, looks distant, shy, and confused, maybe because he joined us at such an early age, but he is a nice guy.” Namjoon laughs again as he walks away from you, leaving you standing alone in the corridor.

I know.

Jungkook walks quickly to your office as soon as the elevator opens on your floor. He still doesn’t know what to say, but he just can’t let you escape him, avoid him again. He will use everything he’s got to at least explain a thing or two to you, and if the universe accedes, maybe he can tell you a little part of his feelings. Or maybe more.

Just one step at a time, Jungkook. You can do this.

It’s weird how he feels more nervous right now than when he goes to a mission. Usually he can just barge through any door without feeling any fear, but right now? He can feel how his heart almost bursts inside his chest. Is that because he doesn’t have his gun with him? Or is it because you are on the other side of the door?

He sighs. He doesn’t know anymore.

Maybe it is because he doesn’t know anything that is going to happen when he opens the door. Maybe it is because his brain can’t work for another plan B if his original plan fails. Maybe it is because it is a do or die for him, sounds a little extreme, but actually this is maybe the last chance for him to let his feelings take control of him.

Mustering all of his courage, he knocks the door and opens it slowly. “Excuse me?”

A chair suddenly rolls from the desk. “Hey JK. What’re you doin’ here?” Sehun asks and looks at him quizzically. “Is there something wrong with the report?”

Jungkook shakes his head rapidly. “That’s not why I’m here.” He swallows dryly. “I’m looking for Y/N..”

“Y/N?” Sehun raises one of his eyebrows. “Funny you asked that. The fact is I haven’t seen her anywhere since I went to your office.”

“Really? Okay then, I’ll just search for her somewhere else.” Jungkook nods politely and walks to the door.

“Why don’t you just call her?” Sehun asks loudly.

Jungkook looks at him, and gives him a weak smile. Sehun doesn’t need to know that you’ve been avoiding Jungkook’s calls, right? “Thank you, I’ll try.”

After he closes the door, Jungkook walks to the stairwell next to him. With a sigh he sits on one of the stairs. He pulls his phone from his pocket, looking at it like it’s a foreign thing to him. His finger scrolls to the contacts and looks for your name.

There’s no specific thing to describe your name in his contact. And by specific, it means you aren’t saved in his contacts. The only thing that describes you is your phone number, which he memorizes already because of how much time he spent looking at it and how many times he tried to call you in the past few days.

He looks again in his contacts. It’s less than a dozen. The only contacts in his phone are his parents, his brother, and his best friends. That’s it.

He remembers when he received your message for the first time, he almost accidentally deleted it because he received it at the same time he received another spam message. Only God knows what would happen if he deleted it for real. Would you still get hurt? Would you still want to tease him? Would it still be the same?

Or would he still have this growing feeling inside him?

He sighs and then inputs your phone number, but before he dials it, he chooses another option.

Add to new contact.

Name: Y/N

Save?

Saved

Jungkook looks at his newly added contact and finally dials your number, hoping that you would accept it this time. Hoping that somehow his sincere feelings felt through the rings on your phone. Hoping that he can say the right things this time.

And after the seventh rings, the call went through.

Jungkook can finally hear your voice. “Hello, Y/N?” There’s a silence on the other end of the phone for a little while. It begins to make him more nervous. “Y/N?”

“Jungkook?” but it’s not your voice. It’s a familiar voice for him that he hears a lot.

Jungkook looks at the screen, makes sure he got the correct phone number. He furrows his eyebrow, confused at why you didn’t answer your own phone. “Jin-Hyung?”

“Right.” Jin laughs. “Y/N left her phone in the infirmary. She just went out to look for you.”

“Oh.” Jungkook sighs in relief. “Wh-what? She’s looking for me?”

“Yes, kid. God, I don’t know what your problem is to make both of you playing hide and seek in the middle of the day, but yes, she’s looking for you right now. But I don’t really know where she went.”

A little smile plastered on Jungkook’s face, somehow he feels a little happy that you finally decided to give him a chance to explain himself. And with only that fact, he won’t lose this chance. “Thanks Hyung! Talk to you later!”

“Yah-”

Jungkook hangs his phone up, and stands up immediately. But if he just walks around and looks for you in this big building, it is just a waste of time. There’s a fat chance that he won’t meet you at all, and in this crucial time for him, he can’t rely on fate alone.

So, he taps his phone again, scrolling to find a chatting platform that he rarely uses, and looks for a group chat with his best friends, typing quickly and hits the send button. This time he’s gonna rely on his friends.

Jungkook 00.23 PM: Have you seen Y/N?

You open the heavy door to the pool area with an afraid look on your face. What if Jungkook suddenly appears before you? What would you do? What would you say? What if he doesn’t want to see you?

But luckily (or unlucky for you), there’s no one in the pool. Everyone must be taking their lunch time, leaving this place completely empty.

You sigh and walk around, deciding to look at this place a little more. Maybe, just maybe, Jungkook will suddenly pop out of nowhere, hugging you from behind like some of the rom-com movies that you usually watched in your teen years.

A sudden loud bang of a door opening filled the place, making you turn your head abruptly, hoping that the universe finally sends some signals to you. But instead, you just see a man pushing a cleaning supplies cart. You are disappointed.

Why do you even feel disappointed? There’s only a little chance for Jungkook to just walk through the door. You laugh to yourself and shake your head. Maybe I should just call him.

You pat your pants to locate your phone, and a little panic goes through you as you can’t find your phone. Where is it? Did I drop it? You try to remember when the last time you used your phone. You usually don’t behave like this; for you, your phone is one of your most important things. You never walk without a phone as you have everything you need in that mini gadget. Maybe this Jungkook thing is really bothering me.

You turn and walk to the door hurriedly, you need to find your phone back and also Jungkook. You can’t just wait mindlessly in here. Just when your hand reaches the door knob, you sense the cleaning man walking to you.

“Are you Doctor Y/N?”

You look at the man, sending him a polite nod. “Ah yes. Don’t worry, I won’t disturb your job here, I’m going now.” The man looks like he is in his early 30s. You can’t really see his face, since it’s hidden with his blue baseball cap. He wears a blue jumpsuit, a usual uniform for the cleaning service. But why does it look like it’s too big for him?

The man smiles back. “Oh my. That’s fine. Actually I have a package for you.” The man rummages through his cart, searching for something. “From a man, named Jungkook, I think? He’s been searching for you.”

“Jungkook?” ears perk in curiosity.

He smiles again, almost a grin. “Yes.” the man laughs at himself as he pulls a black metal thing from the cart and points it to you. “He’s been searching for you.”

You look at him with widened eyes. A gun. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing, sweetie?” the man laughs maniacally, the sounds send shivers to your spine, making you step back unconsciously, your back hitting the door. You move your hand behind your back, trying to locate the door knob. “Uh-uh. Do not move. I don’t want to shoot your pretty face.”

Your heart races in fear., “Wh-what do you want from me?”

“The autopsy report, where is it?”

Your jaw drops as your mind wanders to the incident last Sunday, the one that probably will leave some scars on your hands. “Were you the one who trashed my office?”

“That’s right.” The man steps a little closer and pushes the gun closer to your face. “The report. Where do you keep it?”

“I-I don’t know. I don’t have it.” Tears start threatening to fall from your eyes when the man seems unsatisfied with your answer and pulls your hair harshly. “I-I gave it up.”

He pulls your hair again until you meet his eyes. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Or do you want me to start shooting everyone who comes into this room?” He laughs again. “You’re waiting for someone right? What if he suddenly pops in right now, and my hand just slips?”

You widen your eyes and you can see his eyes, and they don’t show that he’s lying. You can see how crazy he is. “I-I think it’s on the seventh floor..”

Just after he hears your answer, he releases your hair. With a sudden lack of grip, your feet give up, making you slump on the ground. “Good choice. Now stand up. We’re going to the seventh floor.”

“Bu-but I just told you. You should let me go.”

He scoffs. “And how would I know if you’re just lying to me? Stand up!” He grips your elbow harshly, forcing you to stand in front of him. You can feel his cold gun on your back, pushing to walk forward. “Don’t do anything funny, or I might shoot others. I only want this to be just the two of us.”

Your lips tremble and your throat goes dry. You wipe your tears and take a deep breath, trying to find your courage and strength to walk. You open the door with a heavy heart, wishing silently that you won’t meet anyone in the corridor and on your way up to the seventh floor.

You walk slowly to the elevator, with the man following behind you with his cart. Whispering right there to remind you that he has a gun. Your stomach twists. You want to run away. Your hands turn into fists, sending a light pain from the still-recovering wounds. Luckily, the pain happens to keep your mind intact, make you stay sane. But still, you can’t think of anything that you can do to save yourself.

Sure, you worked for months in an agent secret service. But that doesn’t mean you can do martial arts or guns. You didn’t receive any of that training. So even in this high-security building, you’re just an ordinary woman. An unlucky one.

Wait. High-security building?

You look left and right cautiously to find CCTV cameras above you, maybe someone will see this?

The man behind you laughs again. “You think I’d sneak here with no preparation? No one in the security room is going to watch this. I’ve taken care of them.”

You choke, your heart quickens. “You.. you. Wha-what? What did you do to them?”

“There’s no need for you to know, sweetie.” He laughs again. ”It’s just gonna make you feel bad.”

You bite your lips, trying your hardest to hold your tears. This man is sick. And just then, the elevator’s door opens.

You swallow dryly and walk inside the elevator. Sighing in relief again because there’s no one inside. You reach your hand shakily, trying to push the seven button on the elevator, but just as the door closes, a hand sneaks in and it opens again.

Your eyes widen with the sight of the man, panting before you. “Jungkook?” Why are you here?

Jungkook still holds open the door with his one hand as he controls his breaths. “We.. We need to talk.”

You steal a glance at the man behind you, who acts like wiping the interior of the elevator. Your hands turn clammy. Maybe Jungkook can help you. Maybe Jungkook can save you. If this is the chance that the universe sends to you, you should take it, right? It is a perfect opportunity for you to lose the man behind you.

But, what if he shoots someone? Or worse, what if he shoots Jungkook?

You take a deep breath, your eyes looking at your feet, afraid of looking at Jungkook’s face. “The-there’s nothing for us to talk about,” you say coldly, pushing his hand away from the door and pushes the close button.

But this time, Jungkook is persistent. He doesn’t want to let you slip away from him. Again. “No.” He reaches out his hand again to block the door from closing. “We have to talk. You need to hear my explanation, at least.”

“I don’t want to!!” You push him away again, this time on his body, until he steps backward from the elevator. You don’t even realize how your hands tremble against his hard chest, how tears fall on your face like a waterfall. “Please... Just leave me alone…”

You step back inside the elevator, pushing the close door button again. But this time, Jungkook lets you.

If this is the last time I can see him….

You lift your head up to take a glance of his face from the closing door. You can’t see him clearly as your eyes filled with tears, and just like that. You sob on the ground of the elevator after the door closes, clenching your chest to tone down the tightening pain you feel.

“Well-well. Such a good girl.” The man behind you claps his hand. “Don’t worry, he’ll forgive you after he knows what happened with you and what you did for him.” He reaches to touch your cheek, which makes you flinch.

“You’re just a sick bastard,” you hiss, glaring to him.

He chuckles at your response and hits your face with his gun. He grabs your chin in his hand tightly, forcing you to see his eyes. “You’re really testing my patience, aren’t you?”

You’re shaking in his hands, a throbbing pain on your forehead also makes it worse. He releases your chin harshly and forces you to stand up as the car approaches the seventh floor. He pushes his gun again harshly on your side, with his other hand holding you close to him. You can feel his nasty breath on your neck.

I’m so going to die.

As the door opens and you walk through, that thought keeps lingering on your mind and it’s growing bigger with each step you take, and you can’t seem to shake it off. You can’t do anything right now, the only thing you can do is cry in silence, hope that at least it can ease your mind for a bit. But it doesn’t.

Why?

Because you don’t fucking know where the report is, exactly.

Jungkook remains speechless, his hands trying to reach for your hands but they escape him, leaving him grabbing the empty air. He only sees you walk back inside the elevator and he’s sure that he sees your tears when your eyes meet him.

He doesn’t understand you at all. Why then did Jin tell him that you want to see him? And why now you don’t want to? His hands turn into fists. He bites his lips harshly in desperation. Where are you going anyway?

No, he can’t just stay here. He needs to chase you. He needs to talk to you. He can’t let you again. He reaches his hand to push the elevator button but he stops midway.

Wait, why is there a cleaning service today?

He furrows his eyebrow, deep in thoughts, trying to remember any details of the cleaning service he saw earlier. He only looks at the cleaning service for a bit, he knows that it is a man, but Jungkook can’t really see his face since he faced the wall. He remembers the man turned his face when the door was closing, and Jungkook can see a bit of his face under the baseball cap. And suddenly his face turns white. He curses quietly and runs to the stairwell, not bothering to take the elevator anymore.

Jungkook grabs his phone from his pocket and scrolls to find Jin’s contact as he runs multiple steps at once. This might be dangerous and he needs his other agents, if what he’s thinking is true. If what he’s been afraid of come into reality.

“Hey, Jungkook-ah. Wha-”

“I saw Baekhyun, hyung. He was in the elevator with Y/N. I think they went to the seventh floor.” He says it quickly, interrupting Jin. Jungkook silently hopes that Jin can hear it perfectly as it is muffled with his pants and breaths.

Jin’s breath hitches on the other side of the phone. “What? Are you sure?”

“I’m not sure, I just saw him at a glance. I’m heading up right now. Tell the others!”

“Alright! Be careful!” Jin says and ends the phone call.

Jungkook puts his phone in his pocket and runs again. He runs, and runs, and runs, ignoring the fact that his lungs start burning in his chest.

Please be okay.

Like a spell, he repeats it over and over again. Like a prayer, he repeats it sincerely in his heart over and over again. Like a song, it is played in his mind over and over again.

I’m not going to let him hurt her again.

Like a vow, he says with all of his life.

He’s going to protect the woman he loves.

The silence in the seventh floor sends an eerie feeling to you, making your heart racing faster. Only God knows where the hell is the others when you need them. You feel the cold gun on your side, pushing harshly against your body. It is one of the things that makes you aware of what you’re doing right now, besides a throbbing pain on your head.

Baekhyun pushes you forward again. “So, where is it?”

You freeze on the spot, your hands getting clammy. You swallow dryly. “I-I’m not sure…”

“You what?” His eyes widen in anger and he shoves your body into a wall, sending a blunt pain to your back. “You dare to lie to me?” His hands somehow move to your neck, strangling it tightly.

You’re struggling to break free from his grip, kicking right and there, using all of your strength to push his hands away. Your chest is burning due to the lack of oxygen. Tears fall from your eyes. You feel weaker the more strongly you fight back and your eyes get blurry. Your consciousness fades along with the slowing of your heart beat.

And suddenly, Baekhyun releases you as he stumbles. You drop to the ground as you struggle to breath as much as you can. You open your eyes slowly, trying to see what’s he doing and there you see he is pushed to the ground by a familiar man.

Jungkook.

Jungkook hits Baekhyun as hard as he can. Baekhyun is perplexed for a second but after he processes what’s happening he starts to fight back. Baekhyun kicks Jungkook in the stomach. The situation turns around as Jungkook is pushed under him. The sound of the fight blares in your ears, trying to wake you up. You wince in pain as you gather all of your strength to stand up. You need to find help.

“Run!” Jungkook yells as he holds Baekhyun’s body tightly.

Baekhyun snarls, using his elbow to hit Jungkook’s nose, pushing him away. Your hands shake as Baekhyun suddenly changes his view to you and charges you, not giving you a chance to run away. Baekhyun pulls his gun from his pocket and points it to you. Your feet freeze as your eyes meet Baekhyun’s. “Bitch.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at the sight before him and curses himself. He can’t believe that Baekhyun has a gun with him and through his laxity, Jungkook didn’t strip it. Jungkook groans and stands quickly to run to you. Please be okay.

Just as Baekhyun pulls the trigger, Jungkook jumps in front of you. The bullets pierce his right chest and his stomach. His body falls to the ground because of the impact. The blood starts seeping from his body.

Your jaw drops. You’re familiar with the smell of blood. You’re familiar also with the smell of the gunpowder. And when both of them are somehow incorporated in the air, it gives you a brand new smell that’s sickening.

The tears still fall from your eyes as you flop beside Jungkook, hesitantly touching him. Just less than an hour ago, you were dreaming about meeting him in a romantic way, but now this is only tragic.  sharp pain clutches your chest, making it hard for you to breathe again. Your thoughts are only filled with Jungkook but you can’t do anything.

But Jungkook is strong, maybe one of the strongest agents in the Company. So Jungkook sits up and moves you behind him, covering you perfectly.

“Kook…” you whisper in between sobs.

Jungkook keeps you behind him with his arms slightly trembling, gently soothing your skin. “I’m okay. Just stay behind me.” Even the slightest movement of his arms makes his chest hurt even more, but Jungkook hides it in his smile. The only thing in his head is how to make you get out of here safely, and he doesn’t care about the pain. Not when you are his priority.

Jungkook slowly lets go of his hands and stands up. You see how the blood spots are getting bigger and bigger, how it affects his posture as he loses his balance lightly. And after a few deep breaths, he puts on a stance, looking at Baekhyun with furious eyes.

Baekhyun snorts. “You think you can fight me bare-handed?” He still points his gun toward the both of you.

Without answering, Jungkook leaps forward to attack Baekhyun. It leaves Baekhyun caught off guard as he begins to fire the gun carelessly. Still, it grazes Jungkook’s body as he moves closer to him.

Not only that Jungkook is one of the strongest agents in the company, he has a killer kick. It’s the one that made the Company recruit him in the first place. He rarely uses it in his fights because he rarely has a chance to have hand-to-hand combat, and even if he had a chance, he doesn’t need to use it. And if Jungkook decides to use his best skills in this fight, there’s no way for Baekhyun to win. Jungkook begins to kick him again in his stomach and tries to target his hand.

And Baekhyun knows it too. So Jungkook begins to kick him again in his stomach and tries to target his hand. While Baekhyun stumbles, he fires his last bullet.

To your direction.

It’s too late for Jungkook to realize it, to jump again in front of you. As the bullet hits your shoulder, the new pain makes you fall back from the impact. Jungkook curses and turns his body to kick Baekhyun’s hand, sending the gun flying far from them and holding his hand to throw his body, locking him in between his legs, in a way that Baekhyun can’t move.

The doors and elevator open almost at the same time, and the agents barge in to arrest Baekhyun. Finally.

“Y/N!” Hoseok runs to you and shakes your shoulders. “Are you okay?” He helps you slowly sit up, carefully not to touch your wounds.

It’s over now… You sigh in relief, but your eyes turn panic when you see Jungkook’s shirt almost turn to pinkish, a mix of his blood and his sweat. “Kook…” and just as his name falls on your lips, Jungkook stumbles and drops to the ground.

Jimin and Taehyung move quickly to Jungkook to check on him. They look panicky as they move Jungkook’s body to a gurney with the help of paramedics. ”I’m going with him to the hospital.” Jimin says to Hoseok.

Hoseok nods and turns his face to you, his eyes falling on your bloodied shoulder. “Let’s get you to the hospital too.” He holds your elbow softly, helping you stand.

And just like that, everything turns black.

You open your eyes slowly. The harsh lights blind you and you blink as you adjust to it. You are met by the white ceiling above and white curtains all around you. The familiar smell of disinfectant steals into your nose, waking you up even more. You try to move your arms, to help you sit up, but there’s a shooting pain to your right shoulder. “Argh.”

“Yah. Y/N, you can’t move that carelessly!” Jimin yells as he puts his hand behind your back to help you.

You shake your head softly. “I’m okay. Where’s Jungkook?”

“He’s in his room. The surgery went well. Don’t worry.” Jimin says reassuringly and pushes your shoulder lightly to make you stay in the bed.

But you refuse, swinging your legs slowly over the edge of your bed. “I want to see him..” You use your left hand to hold the IV poll. But as your feet land on the floor, your body stumbles. Luckily, Jimin was holding you from falling. “I’m okay, I’m okay…”

Jimin looks at you with worry in his eyes. He holds your elbow tightly. “Y/N, you don’t look so well. Just rest for a bit.”

You shake your head again, tears threatening to fall again. “Please… let me see him just for a bit…”

He sighs. He knows how stubborn you are, and you won’t back down. “Fine. Hold on to me, okay? Tell me if you have any pain.”

Luckily, Jungkook’s room is just a few rooms from yours. Just when you are about to open his door, you hear voices yelling inside.

“Yah! You can’t move!”

“Jungkook-ah! Are you crazy?”

“She’s fine! Just stay in the bed!”

Your eyes widen in panic. You let go of Jimin’s arms and rush forward inside Jungkook’s room. The only thing in your mind is Jungkook, and Jungkook only. You want to make sure he’s okay. You want to see him again.

And your eyes meet his.

The other agents hold him tightly as he tries to walk to the door. He looks pale and pained, there’s bruises in his body. You see the bandages sneaking out from his gown. And it just makes your heart break and relieved at the same time. “Kook?”

His doe eyes look you from head to toe, blinking his teary eyes to see you clearer. “Y/N?”

His voice.

Your favorite one.

The only thing that gives you strength to step forward. The only thing that can make you run. The only thing that can make your heart leap.

And just like that you run to him, run to his embrace, rushing forward clumsily while dragging the IV poll.

Jungkook holds you tightly to his chest, not even caring if you jostle his wounds. He doesn’t even care if he feels the pain, in fact, he is glad he can feel it. So that he knows that this is real. That you are wrapped in his arms, still living and breathing before him.

Jungkook lets your scent and warmth envelop his body and he can feel the relief straight into his heart. He takes your face in his hands, looking at it carefully. He gulps a little when he spots a little wound on your forehead and bruises on your neck. “Are-are you okay?”

You sniff and let your tears fall from your eyes as you nod weakly. “Are you okay? Let’s get you back to your bed.”

“I’m okay,” he giggles but lets you hold him and take him back to the bed. And when you stumble again because of his weight, the other agents hop in to help both of you. Jin and Taehyung hold Jungkook and walk him to his bed while Jimin helps you.

Hoseok smiles at you as he drags a chair next to the bed, “We’re gonna let you talk for a bit, okay? Don’t talk too long, you both need to rest.” He pushes the other agents outside, giving you and Jungkook privacy.

It’s silent again.

But it’s comforting. And you kinda miss it.

It’s funny how just with the presence of Jungkook can stir your heart completely. Just by the presence of him, he can turn your mood around.

You bite your lips and fiddle with your gown. “Thank you for saving me. It must have hurt a lot.”

Jungkook smiles and reaches your face to wipe your tears away. “I’m sorry I didn’t come faster. You must have been frightened.”

And there it breaks you. Jungkook is the one who hurt the most, and yet he is the one who feels sorry. He is in pain, but he still thinks of you. What can you do to deserve to be with this nice man? No, you don’t deserve it all. And it just aches your heart even more. “What are you talking about….” you sob and turn away from him as you try your hard to stop the tears falling from your eyes.

Jungkook reaches your hand softly. “Please don’t turn away from me.. Please?” His other hand moves to pat your head lovingly. “Can we please have that talk now?”

You pout. “No. You need to rest. We can talk about it anytime after you get better.”

“I don’t want to. I have to tell you right now.” He takes a deep sigh. “I’ll go crazy if I keep this any longer.”

“But…”

“I’m sorry for what I did to you in your apartment. I was drunk and made stupid mistakes. I’m sorry.”

You nod quickly. “Yes, I know and I’ve forgiven you. Now, you should have some rest…”

“I didn’t know why I did it, but just so you know, I’ve always wanted to kiss you. I think I felt too rushed, but I didn’t do it just to tease you or make fun of your feelings. It’s jus-”

“Wait, what?” You look at him puzzled and raise one of your eyebrows. “You-you wanted to kiss me?”

He tilts his head at your response. “Yeah?”

“But, why?”

He takes a close look at your face, and swallows dryly. “Because I like you, Y/N.”

There is a pregnant silence as you blink your eyes, processing the sudden bomb of information. “Huh?” You scratch the back of your head confusedly. “You like me? Since when?”

He blushes as he smiles. “I don’t know. It just happened, I guess… Wait, you didn’t know?”

“Duh, this is an expression of a person who knew about it,” you say sarcastically as you point to your face.

Jungkook’s jaw drops. “I really thought I made myself really clear. Even the others knew about it!” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Anyway, I just felt so rushed because you’re gonna leave soon and I thought I’m gonna lose my chance. Also it might be because these feelings are little new for me, so I was a little confused. But I-”

“But I’m still with this Company for another 4 months…”

It’s his turn to process the information and then his face turns red as he lets go of your hand. “I thought… I’m just… hmmm. I’m gonna take my confession back then…”

“No! I won’t let you take it back.” You reach for his hand, holding it tightly. You look at him with a determination in your eyes and smile widely from ear to ear. “Thank you, I’m happy to hear it.”

Jungkook replies with a smile too as he sighs in relief. “But still, I have to say it again properly someday.”

You giggle as you squeeze his hand. “Sure, let’s take this slowly. We have a lot of time.”

You both hold each others’ hands with smiles on your faces. No word exchanged, as you both know how happy you are. How relieved you are to finally hold his warm hand again. How excited you are to guess what will happen to both of you. How ecstatic you are as you feel your heart races inside your chest.

The air freshener sprays in the corner of the room, breaking the silence between both of you. The scent of vanilla disperses in the air. Filling the room with nothing but sweet scent. Usually, you always stay away from the sweet type of smell and stick with anything musky, floral, or maybe just natural ones. But now, this specific type of smell becomes your favorite one. The sweetest scent to remind you about him. The sweetest scent that you can have everyday without feeling sick.

Jungkook coughs awkwardly, “I know, you said to take this slowly. But I just can’t help it…” He looks at you with pinkish cheeks as he squeezes your hand. “Can-can I kiss you?”

You reply with nothing but a smile and nod. You lean in a little so he can be closer to you just for a little bit. And just like that, he takes your face in his hands slowly and connects his lips with yours.

And you can feel it, how your hearts are connecting too.

Go check the other series because *sst... It’s all connected!

Series Masterlist: The Company

Taglist: @kb-bangtanenthusiast @w0lfqu33n @gee-nee @jaienn @nctssidehoe @codeinebelle​ @kali-20 @mygalaxysupernova​ @jeoncookie-bts​ @kookunot​ @1-in-abillion​ @beingbeings​ @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @yiyi4657​ @jinsalpaca​ @giadalin​ @spring2787​ @drmrastraea​ @katbonv​ @fluffyjoons​ @baebyjoonie​

Taglist open!

[retrievablememories]

serenade | mark (m)

title: serenade pairing: mark x reader genre: fluff, smut summary: you and mark spend your first night together at the dorm, and you try to think of a way to say what you really want. word count: 2.5k warnings: fingering, PIV sex, riding, handjob a/n: i still kinda see mark as like a little bro or something so it felt weird to write this. lmao. in other news, who do i have to pay to get a full cover of “get you” from him?

“We better not get caught.”

You say this as you and Mark head up to their dorm floor, his hand in yours the entire time like he’s unwilling to let you go.

“We won’t, promise. The manager went to go visit family so we have the room all to ourselves this weekend.” He winks at this, and you give him a look in return.

You plunk yourself onto his bed once you get to the room he shares with the manager, your overnight bag slipping out of your hand. You only mean to lie there for a few seconds, but you’re taken in with the smell of Mark on the sheets and comforter, and you try to inconspicuously bury your nose in them. Of course, he notices anyway.

“Do you like the smell of me that much?” Mark comes over to you and tugs the comforter around you so you’re rolled up in it like a burrito, and you giggle uncontrollably as he does so. “Shh! Don’t wake the whole dorm up.” Mark puts a finger to his lips and looks around suspiciously as if there could be someone in the room already eavesdropping on your conversation, and you roll your eyes. 

“Hello, Mark, you’re the one who said the coast was clear.” You try to unravel yourself, but he’s gotten you pretty wrapped up in the small amount of time you were laughing, and now you can’t get free. “Uh, what the hell!”

“I know, but if the guys find out they aren’t going to let me hear the end of it…” Mark says, coming to rescue and pulling you from the mesh of blankets. You slide off the bed, trying to fix your hair, but it doesn’t matter much anyway; you’re going to be dressing for bed soon.

You go to the bathroom to do just that, changing into your sleeping clothes. You and Mark have been dating for a little while but haven’t done much yet, so you’re still unsure about changing in front of him or how he’d react—though you’re hoping to change that tonight. Maybe if you’re lucky.

When you enter the room again, you see that Mark has done the same and is lying on the bed in his pajamas. He’s looking at something on his phone, but his eyes drift back to you when you walk in and climb on the bed beside him, tucking your head into his arm.

“Are you gonna fall asleep so soon?” Mark laughs, throwing his leg over yours. “We still have the whole night ahead of us.”

“I’m just resting,” you say, though you also know you probably will fall asleep soon if you stay like this long enough. “But if you don’t want me to fall asleep, we should probably do something. Like watch a movie.”

“What do you want to watch?” Mark asks, sitting up straighter at the suggestion. He reaches for his laptop nearby.

“Doesn’t really matter,” you say absently. “Maybe we could try something we haven’t seen before.”

You and Mark go back and forth about which movies to watch until you finally settle on an action film that looks interesting to you both. It’s better than you expected it to be, so you decide to watch the sequel when the first one ends. Halfway through the second film, though, you start losing your focus. Much to your annoyance, it leaves a lot to be desired compared to the first.

Your attention starts drifting more towards the boy beside you. Your eyes follow the sharp lines of his jawline and cheekbones, and you think about bringing up the subject that’s been burning in your mind. Mark must feel your eyes piercing the side of his face, because he soon turns to you with an amused smile on his lips.

“What’s wrong? You’re not watching the movie. Are you bored with it?”

“Ha. A little…” you admit, distractedly playing with the fabric of his shirt sleeve. Mark pauses the movie and sets the laptop aside. He grasps the hand that’s tugging at his sleeve and plays with your fingers, clasping them between his own.

“What do you wanna do now, then?” Should you ask him now? How do you even say it? Let’s fuck? I’d like to have sex? You almost roll your eyes at the thought of saying either of those lines. You squeeze his fingers between yours and open your mouth to speak, but you become stuck on what to say.

You chicken out at the last second. “C-can you sing something for me?” you ask instead, nervously wetting your lips.

Mark blushes a little and laughs. “You wanna hear me sing?”

“Anything! It doesn’t matter what.”

He nods, then pulls away from you to grab his guitar and take it out of its case. He resettles himself on the bed in front of you, crossing his legs. You push the sheets away from you and sit like an excited puppy, waiting to see what he’ll play. He strums thoughtfully, warming himself up and wondering what song he should sing for you. 

Suddenly, his eyes widen a bit and he smiles slyly, like he’s just unearthed the answer to a mysterious case. “Oh, I got it.” Mark plucks at the strings on his guitar, his voice flowing out softly.

Through drought and famine, natural disasters My baby has been around for me Kingdoms have fallen, angels be callin' None of that could ever make me leave

Every time I look into your eyes, I see it You're all I need Every time I get a bit inside, I feel it

Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you? Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you?

And when we're making love, uh Your cries, they can be heard from far and wide It's only the two of us Everything I need between those thighs...

He continues singing the rest of the song as you look on, a grin on your lips and excitement buzzing in your body. He has to make an effort not to look at you as he sings, because your grin makes him want to giggle every time.

Mark smiles bashfully when he stops strumming, and he’s about to say something when you cup his cheeks and kiss him on the lips. He’s surprised for a moment before he responds, kissing you back as tenderly as you’re doing to him.

When you separate from each other, you’re still holding his face, studying him carefully. Mark swallows nervously, though his eyes shine with a mischievous light. “Did it work?” he asks, his voice low.

You look at him questioningly. “Did what work?”

“Have I seduced you with my voice?” He seems embarrassed about his own line, but he says it anyway with all the confidence he can muster.

“You’re embarrassing,” you answer, trying to hold back your laughter. “But if you really want to know, we can find out.”

Mark sets his guitar to the side, and you kiss again, his tongue nudging carefully against yours. He draws you closer, though neither one of you is really taking the lead yet—instead choosing to move at an even pace and test the waters of this whole thing.

It’s not your first time—or his—but it is your first time with Mark, and you don’t know quite what to expect. You let yourself relax against him as his hands slide across your sides, curving around to your back to bring you closer still. He soon ends up lying you back on the bed, settling himself against you and feeling your body heat reaching out to him through your clothes.

You think you could kiss him like this forever, but you can feel him getting hard against your hip, and your own body is answering in kind, wanting to explore further. “Take your shirt off,” you say quietly against his lips. He pauses—but only for a second—before pulling back and stripping his shirt off.

You run your hands across his chest and stomach after they’re revealed to you, and he asks you just as tentatively, “Can I…take this off?” while holding the hem of your shirt. You nod yes, and he does so. He’s quick to nuzzle into your breasts, which makes you laugh tenderly and pet his head. He lavishes them with warm kisses, sucking the nipples past his lips and making you moan softly. His hair is soft as you run your fingers through it.

He continues kissing his way down your chest and stomach, and you feel anxious and eager all in one. When he reaches the hemline of your pajamas, he asks if he can take these off, too, and you reply with a yes. He slides your bottoms down, and you feel a little self-conscious about it but try not to let that get to you, wanting to enjoy the moment.

“How do you want this to be?” Mark asks this simple question as his fingers trace across your thighs, soft like a bird’s wings, and it makes your insides tremble. You’re not entirely sure how to respond, because Mark could fuck you in every way possible and you would likely enjoy every moment of it.

You answer by sitting up and climbing into his lap, feeling him hard under you.

“Please touch me,” you say this against his lips as you kiss him again, feeling the silky texture of his mouth caressing your own. One of his arms snakes around your waist to hold you in his lap, and you gently grip the other one, guiding his hand to the space between your bodies.

He touches you carefully at first, feeling you over your underwear and nudging his fingers against that small bundle of nerves that has you shifting on his lap. His touches grow a little firmer when he notices how you respond to him, and he gains the motivation to pull your panties to the side for better access.

Mark slips his fingers across your lower lips, noticing how wet you already are and then nudging them against your entrance. Tentatively, he pushes one inside, and you melt into him more, wanting more of him inside you.

“More, Mark,” you murmur into his neck, his pulse beating against your lips. He adds a second finger, stretching you out around him. You whimper into his skin as Mark thrusts his fingers into you, coaxing more pleasure from you. 

When you cum on Mark’s fingers, your orgasm arrives with a shuddering moan. Your eyes drift back a little as he keeps scissoring his fingers inside you, and instead of pulling away, you find yourself grinding into his hand again so you can chase a second climax. It doesn’t take long for another wave to rush over you, with Mark mouthing at your neck and collarbone as he feels you shake in his arms.

He eventually pulls his fingers out, which are slick with cum, and slides them into his mouth. He makes a satisfied sound at this, which turns into a groan as you pull his sweatpants down far enough to release his dick. It slaps against his stomach, leaving a smear of glistening precum behind on his skin.

“You should find a condom,” you say as you take his member in your hand, drawing your thumb over the sensitive spot just below the tip. This move makes more precum leak from him, running onto your thumb and wetting your fingers. Mark’s eyes flutter, and he tries to steady his breathing.

“You have to let me go, first,” he responds. You know that, but you want to have a bit more fun with him first, thumbing the slit of his cock and fondling his balls with your other hand. You haven’t really begun touching him yet, but he’s already taken apart by these actions, groaning as quietly as he can.

You play with him a little more, making him tremble against you as you stroke his cock, before finally letting him go and allowing him to get up. After he retrieves a condom and slips it on, you practically pull him back onto the bed, causing him to land on you. He holds himself up to keep his weight off you as he claims your lips again. You think he’s going to slide into you in this position, but with his lips at your ear, he says, ”I want you to ride me.”

Your body is burning hot with the idea of it, and you comply by nodding and placing yourself back in his lap, his member sliding against your sex.

Mark makes a sound between a moan and a whimper when you sink down onto him, snugly fitting his dick inside of you. His breaths are heavy as they hit against your skin, and his hands go to your hips, needing to take hold of something to keep himself grounded.

Mark thrusts up into you as you bounce on him, and your toes curl both with the pleasure of it and from the effort of not being too loud. “Mark, God…” You hold onto his back for stability as your bodies slide together more perfectly than you could’ve dreamed. His lips go back to worrying the skin of your neck as he pushes himself up into you, holding you tight enough against him to have your breasts pressed against his chest. His hand slides lower to grip your ass, and he moans openly at the feel of it in his palm.

Your hands slide easily across each other’s skin from the sweat; some of it drips down Mark’s collarbone and you lick it away. HIs dick twitches inside you in response to your actions, and you decide that you like teasing him this way, drawing your tongue against his body and making him shiver underneath you.

“Y/N…” Mark’s voice shakes as he groans into the side of your neck, and you know he’s likely already close. You bring your hand to where you’re joined together, wanting to bring yourself closer to orgasm, but Mark replaces your hand with his. His touches on your clit make you thrust yourself harder onto him, wanting to get as much of the sensation as you possibly can.

Mark spills into the condom soon after this, his thighs jerking beneath you, though he never stops pleasuring you the whole way through. The barely-concealed sounds of his moans and his fingers on the most sensitive part of your body is enough to have you following after him, leaving small imprints of your nails on his shoulders.

After you are both spent, Mark lies back on the bed and you cling to each other, your head resting on his chest. You’re wholly satisfied, waves of contentment enveloping you in their warm embrace. Mark remains seated inside of you, and you’re delightfully full from it.

“I should sing for you more often if this is what happens afterwards,” Mark comments, tapping his fingers against your back absentmindedly.

“...Do you always have to ruin the moment?” You shake your head, though on the inside, you definitely can’t deny that you’d do it again.

[siriuslyshewrote]

In The End - Shelby!Sister

Request - Shelby sis prompt(s): Included a few in case they are pretty awful lol but just maybe they might inspire you a bit - your creativity would make them good! 1. She gets kidnapped by sabini / changretta and it follows her brothers going absolutely insane trying to get her back between her trying to survive

Okay, so this is kinda a sequel to Good Grief, but you don’t really need to read it, I’ll just be using a bit of the storyline.

John’s still alive. I refuse to accept his death.

Warnings - blood, swearing, kidnapping

10:38 // 3rd May

1928

- - - - Bonnie - - - -

The boys footsteps were quick, an almost run, a tell of the frantic thoughts he was having, whilst trying to reassure himself at the same time. His face was slightly sweaty - he’d ran over a few miles to get here - by the time he reached the door of the house he knew well.

He usually would have hesitated, slightly nervous, before knocking, but there wasn’t time for that. He needed the reassurance, the smile of the girl he loved, to calm his fast beating heart, and the feeling in his stomach, that something was so very desperately wrong.

His knuckles were still sore off the last bare knuckle fight he had, but he didn’t care, rapping on the door loud enough so that the residents inside could hear above the chaos that usually reigned inside the house at 6, Watery Lane, Small Heath.

The door swung open quicker than he thought it would, and so he jumped a little, pulling his cap off his head, holding it in his hands, playing with the soft fabric, trying to calm that damn feeling in his stomach. His thumb accidentally brushed over the blade sewn in there - the crown of a king, one of the Blinders had once told him - and blood appeared on the skin. He didn’t even look at it, instead paying his attention to the woman in front of him.

“Miss Shelby - Gray.” He quickly corrected himself. “Is she here?”

The woman’s forehead creased a little, her previously soft eyes hardening a little. Polly Gray, of all people, would be able to share the feeling he had right now.

“Who?” Her voice sounded as though she wished for a different answer to what he would give her.

“Y/N? Is she here?”

She paused. “No. Bonnie, why would she be here?”

“She..” Bonnie’s heart thrummed faster than before, his mind spinning with thoughts of what could have happened, none of them good. He swallowed. “She said she was coming to the market, to get something ... she said she would make dinner tonight, she’s really excited-“

“Bonnie.” Her voice was harsher now, the anxiety he felt now visible in her eyes. “When did you last see her?”

“Three hours ago. I thought - I thought she got distracted, thought she came here, maybe, to resolve everything , but I just - I had a bad feeling. I had to come check on her.”

The sickening feeling he had had for hours was worse now. The smell of blood from his thumb reached his nose, and he couldn’t help but think about who else could be bleeding right now. Guilt filled him - why didn’t he come and check on her sooner?

Polly turned round, quickly, leaving the door open behind her, which he guessed was a sign to follow her deeper into the house, walking fast towards the kitchen, then to the curtains, pulling them open fast, to reveal what looked like a family meeting.

“Bonnie Gold.” Tommy’s stony blue eyes regarded him, not filling him with the usual feeling of intimidation, but with anger. If anything had happened to her, it was because of the family that was sat in front of him.

“Mr Shelby, I-“ He hated that he still felt the need to address the man in front of him formally after everything he had done to ruin his and Y/N’s relationship.

“Y/N’s missing.” Polly interrupted him, standing slightly in front of him, her shoulders rising and falling quicker than usual, becoming panicked. “She’s missing , Thomas.”

“What the fuck do you mean?” John’s voice was louder than the rest of the family’s in the chaos, his eyes very firmly fixed onto Bonnie with a look of such intense anger, Bonnie was surprised he didn’t launch himself across the room and hit him in the face.

“She’s fucking missing?” Esme’s voice was loud too, her usual strong voice permeated with panic. She had cared for you like a parent - and you had lived with her and John until you moved out four months ago - and Bonnie knew how much you would hate seeing her in distress right now, no matter if you weren’t particularly talking to any of them.

Bonnie’s fingers were still picking at his cap, his foot tapping on the ground with the anxiety he was feeling - not because of the Shelby family, no, he didn’t give a fuck about them right now. He cared about you, where the hell you could possibly be.

You didn’t have any close friends - being a Shelby didn’t exactly invite a lot of people to want to be close to you, and apart from the family in front of you, he had no clue where you would be. You had been nervy for months, not really liking being alone, a product of how you had grown up, in constant danger, really, and so he couldn’t imagine you deciding to go anywhere new. He hated himself, now, for his gentle insistence over the past months, trying to get you to be more independent - if he hadn’t, perhaps you wouldn’t ever have left him this morning.

It seemed so eerily coincidental that at exactly the moment the family found out about you going missing, the phone started to ring.

- - - - Y/N - - - -

You were only supposed to be gone an hour or so, at most, just a quick trip to the market in Small Heath, for some of the food you had been craving for weeks, for dinner. Perhaps if you hadn’t taken the detour you had, you wouldn’t have been in the situation you now were, or perhaps you would.

You had been desperate to see your family, though you hadn’t told anyone that, still keeping up your stubborn facade that Bonnie had been trying to break down for months. You were still angry, of course you were, at your brothers, which extended to the rest of the family, who, of course, took their side. You didn’t want to speak to them, per say, just see them, just to see that they were okay. You hadn’t talked to any of them, aside from Ada in London, since you had stormed out of John’s house months ago, after finding out what they had said to Bonnie, not even to Finn, which was killing you. You hadn’t ever even spent a full day away from your twin brother before, and so it half felt like you were missing a limb, but you knew out of them all, it would be Finn that would be able to convince you to talk to them again, and so, you stayed distant. And so did they.

There was a small alley, just a few metres away from where the market was held, and it was well known to you - it was a shortcut home, if you and Finn ever stayed out just too late, and needed to get back home before Aunt Polly stormed the streets of Small Heath trying to find you. None of the Shelby’s still lived in the house on Watery Lane, but it was still their main point for business, and you had no doubt that the majority of them would be there. You didn’t think that it was stupid to go into that alley - didn’t think that you, for once, didn’t have the safety of your brother with you - but you should have.

Because as soon as you were only a few feet into the dark alley, you felt cold metal being struck into the back of your head with so much force that you crumpled to the ground, blacked out, before you could even comprehend what had happened.

- - - - Bonnie - - - -

It was Thomas that took the phone call, of course. He didn’t show any emotion, simply listening to it, though his stony facade was betrayed by the whites of his knuckles showing through his skin, with how tightly he was gripping the telephone. The room was silent, no one even breathing, waiting for the news that they were sure was in that phone call.

Tommy placed the phone down on the reciever with a slam, one of his hands rubbing his face, in stress.

“Fuck.” He exclaimed, his voice gruff and angry.

“What the fuck’s happened?” John was the first to speak, the brother that was arguably the most protective over you, getting up from the table.

“Some fucking gang has her-“

“What?” Bonnies voice was louder than the others, his tone furious and terrified. “What the fuck do you mean?”

Finn was the only one sat in silence, his hands gripping the wooden table, knuckles white, head bowed as if in prayer.

“Oh god.” Polly whispered.

Tommy regarded him again, but this time there was visible worry in his face. This was his little sister, after all, the one who he had helped raise when their mother died when the twins - Y/N and Finn - were only toddlers. This was the sister who he’d held when she was terrified to go to school on her first day, and later, when she’d been pushed over and laughed at, because of her parents - her drunk father, and ‘crazy’ mother - and ripped her new dress that Polly had spent hours making. It had been him who had taught her how to tie her laces, him who taught her how to climb trees, to kick and punch at the kids who made fun of her.

Yes. It had been Thomas who had protected her , her whole life. And now he was her downfall, the reason she was gone. Him, and his stupid razor gang, that Bonnie now regretted ever being a part of. He dropped the cap from his hands, letting it drop onto the dirty ground.

“We’ll get her back. They want money.”

“Well, fucking give them it!” Polly exclaimed.

Tommy exhaled. “They won’t give her back, even if we do. We have to find her.”

“How do you know that?” Bonnie spat. “Just give them the money!”

“Because these people, they’re greedy. They will just want more and more.”

“How are you going to find her? She could be fucking anywhere.” Bonnie’s voice cracked, and he didn’t try to hide it like he usually would in front of the older men.

“I’ll send my men out. To get information, to look in all the abandoned-“

“And you think that’s going to get her back?”

“Yes. These people - they’re amateurs, I can tell. Someone will have seen something. And they’ll tell us. We’ll get her back.”

“How can you be so fucking sure?”

“Because I know my sister. Do you?”

Part two should be up tomorrow, if people want it!!

[nerdyfangirl67]

Requests Masterlist

NCIS -

Gibbs:

Studying You

(Female reader) “Could you please write an imagine where reader is Gibbs’s best friend from childhood, knew his mom, was there for him when she killed her self but au where there’s no Shannon and kelly and they get married and reader names their daughter Ann after Gibbs’s mom”

My Mark

(Gender-neutral reader) “If requests are in fact still open, could you pretty please do something about the reader giving Gibbs’ hickeys just to mess with him?”

Please Don’t Leave

(Gibbs x little girl (fatherly relationship), very slight reference to a McGee x fem!reader relationship) Gibbs discovers a little girl at a crime scene who is deaf, and upon learning more of her backstory, he begins to bond with her. The guardians she was staying with were killed in a break and enter, both her actual parents were killed while deployed.

I Won’t Leave

(Gibbs x little girl (fatherly relationship), McGee x fem!reader relationship, Mother!reader) This is a continuation of the storyline from the fic Please Don’t Leave, with a time skip.

Forget About Me

McGee x fem!reader/mom!reader, Gibbs x reader (platonic/fatherly relationship) “I was thinking that McGee and reader find out their expecting a baby, and Anastasia finds out and runs away, because she’s scared that Tim and reader won’t want her anymore, and Anastasia gets lost and is all alone, and Tim is in full panic mode, and Gibbs won’t rest until he finds Anastasia, and Gibbs finds her, but she refuses to go home, and clings to Gibbs”

Rare Jewel

(Female reader) “Can I please request a Gibbs x plus size reader? Maybe they have to go undercover to a gala or smth together and the reader walks out in this figure hugging dress feeling and looking FLY AS F**K and Gibbs is like hot damn. You get where I’m going?”

I’m Here

(Female reader)  Request using the prompt - “Don’t be scared. I’m right here.”

What Family is For

(Female reader) “Could you do a Gibbs x Reader were the female reader gets beaten up by a group of boys (broken ribs, bruises, blood…) and just manages to stumble into Gibbs’ house were he will take care of her? A little kind of father-daughter relationsship but workwise. Just him getting very protective, comforting her and patching and cleaning her.”

The Peace Out Here

(Female reader)

“Hey you! I really liked your Tony x Reader one were he comforts her bc she found out she’s pregnant from rape? I was wondering how Gibbs would react to the same?”

McGee:

With a Little Help From the Team

(Female reader) “Hello! I saw your post from this morning saying you didn’t have any requests for ncis at the moment and I wanted to make a request. If for some reason you don’t want to write it that’s okay but here’s my prompt,(Idk what to call it) The reader and McGee have been dating for years and McGee has to tell the whole team (Tony, McGee, Bishop, Gibbs. That team please!) including her dad (Gibbs, cause why not?) when he wants to propose. You can decide on if they say yes or no but I hope you’ll write it. Sorry if I’m overwhelming you I just wanted to make a request”

NCIS team:

Helping Hands

(Gender-neutral reader) “Could you do a one shot with NCIS where reader has a panic attack and the team comforts the reader and they validate the reader’s emotions? I just really need something like that”

CRIMINAL MINDS -

Aaron Hotchner:

Dream Come True

(Female reader) “Hi sweetie!! I saw that you’re taking requests for reader inserts? I could I request one of either Hotch or Morgan where they have a dream about having a daughter with the reader. (The reader and him aren’t dating or seeing each other at all) but he really wants this dream to come true. Thank you in advance!”

In Your Corner

(Female reader) “can you make an aaron x fem reader where reader has an e.d?”

Spencer Reid:

The Way She Walks

(Female reader) “Can you write something for Spencer (or whoever) where you are Hotch’s assistant. One day you are bringing Hotch coffee and Reid is staring at you and Derek tells Reid not to stare cause it will freak you out. Thank you so much!!!”

The Way She Loves

(Female reader - sequel to The Way She Walks) “Helloo😌😌 could you do a follow up to “the way she walks”? I loved it😩💗”

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA -

Phantom:

The Raging Fire Within

(Female reader) “Hi! Could you write a modern au fic with Erik Destler where they’re in a relationship but hes still an awkward muffin and decides hes not having it any longer and tries to flirt with her using (sexual) innuendos but hes still a muffin and she loves it? Thank you so much!!!! (I hope it makes sense)”

An Angel to Me

(Gender-neutral reader) “Erik’s s/o being an artist who loves to draw him but does it in secret in fear of upsetting him but Erik finds one specific drawing. The drawing is a charcoal drawing of him with angel wings (shirtless or not, either one works) and the drawing is of how his s/o sees him. In the drawing he’s radiating like an angel and he’s beautiful despite his scars and that’s when he realizes how much his s/o loves him and that he is worthy of her love (or something like that) and he starts crying. When his s/o comes back, she find him curled up in a corner crying clutching the drawing to him. When he sees her, he tells her how much he loves her and needs her (even tho she already knows) and they end up going through all her drawings of him together”

When You Are Hurting

(Female reader) “hi love! ❤️ i was wondering if i could request an erik x reader? just a hurt/comfort with some soft Erik, maybe set in poto?? maybe one where the reader is having a tough day?? please take your time!!! i know you’ve got a busy schedule :)”

A Modern Lady

(Female reader) “Hello! Can I please request a fic or HCs where erik is in a relationship with the reader but shes really modern and vulgar for someone living in the 19th century and keeps making him blush? But he really loves it?“

Together

(Female reader) “Can I make a Phantom x reader where the reader is the phantom’s wife or somethin’ and the Phantom wakes up from a bad nightmare but she is there to comfort him”

Dark Until I Met You

(Female reader) “Hello, I just want to say first of all that I adore your writing! I haven’t been able to find a story with this particular idea, so I thought I’d make a request. It’s completely your choice whether you want to write a fic of headcanons, but what do you think Erik’s relationship with a blind reader would be like?”

Just a Touch

(Female reader) “Hello! This is my first time requesting, so I’m not quite sure how things work. I was wondering if I could get a Phantom of the Opera x female reader, where he’s touch-starved and they’re just cuddling together. Thank you!”

So Much More

(Female Reader)

Prompt - “You didn’t deserve that…you deserved so much better.”

Promise I Make to You

(Gender neutral reader)

“As I've myself struggled with sh (I am 1 month clean, lemme just flex a lil bit) I've just had this scenario in my head where Erik in a way or another sees the readers sh scars/cuts for the first time and it's just pure fluff with a hint of angst. Also this is my first request ever, I've just fallen in love with the way you portray our not so local (unless u live in france) sewer man. Um ye <3 I shall go to sleep now”

Dancing in the Rain

(Gender neutral reader)

“Can u do poto Erik x reader with a reader who loves walking in the rain, even tho they get absolutely soaked Bc they don’t use an umbrella… so their hair is just absolutely drenched but reader doesn’t give a damn”

One Love, One Lifetime

(Gender neutral reader)

“Could I get a phantom of the opera x reader where the reader is the soulmate of his. The reader has a line of one of his songs. Maybe music of the night? The 2004 version of phantom of the opera. Do you do smut? If not that's fine. It can be fluff too.”

Meg Giry x Phantom:

Leading Woman

(Meg Giry x Phantom) Meg being willing to do whatever the Phantom suggests, even though his attention is on Christine. Finally, Meg has had enough and decided to meet the Phantom on his turf. Although he is upset at the disrespect and blatant neglect of his privacy, he is impressed by her lack of fear towards him and her gumption. Meg makes a case for herself, and the Phantom finally sees Meg for who she is, a leading woman.

Christine Daae:

You Can

(Female reader implied but could be read as gender neutral) Prompt - “I know you can.”

SUPERNATURAL -

Winchester Brothers:

It’s in the Eyes

(Winchester brothers x gn!reader) “… At the moment I’m sort of dating a guy who was broken up with fairly recently and he’s not sure of his feelings (I think he’s really just scared to open up again). Anyway I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind could you write a happy ending/fluff for us with one of the criminal minds/spn guys?”

Dean Winchester:

Something Good

(Gender neutral reader) “Something Good” from the musical The Sound of Music as inspiration for the fic

Care for You 

(Female reader) “Hello !!! Can I have Dean Winchester x reader? Reader has been so caught up in her work that they forget to eat. They get extremely lightheaded and stumble a little. Dean steadies them and he is worried when he finds out they forgot to eat. While he is making food they faint and land (luckily) on the couch. When he’s done, he comes back,at first he thinks that they’re just laying down but he kinda freaks out when he realizes that reader is unconscious. ( I forget to eat sometimes) THANK YOU🥺💚”

[chibinekochan]

Angel in Hell - Part 5

Obey me! Angel Reader Au.

Gen. reader insert.

Read the other parts first. part 1 | part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

~1,5k words

Taglist:

@gothjuulpod  ; @purgatoryhall ; @sibit360  ; @a-personnamed-ace

*message me/send an ask if you want to be on here*

 ____________________________

The next day comes but it's very obvious that Belphie is still avoiding you. 

You can't find him the entire day. It's a mystery to you where he is hiding. 

Even Beel doesn't seem to know. Maybe he just doesn't want to tell you. 

You have no choice but to keep looking for him. Almost aimlessly you wander the hallways. 

You wonder what it will take you to find Belphie.

  Suddenly you find yourself in an area that you haven't seen yet. It seems to be the attic. 

You stand in front of a door. How did you even end up here? 

Somehow you feel a strange urge to open the door.

  You see it's a room that is a bit messy but still comfortable. 

There you see Belphie, lying on a bed in the middle of the room. 

So he was here this whole time? A true miracle that you found him. 

For a moment you hesitate since he does appear to be asleep. It would be rude to wake him up. Then you remember how in the class where he slept basically the whole day.

  Can you really just stand here and wait all day for Belphie to wake up? 

"You really don't know when to give up, do you?" Belphie seems pretty grumpy. 

"I didn't mean to wake you up but I have been looking for you the whole day. I just wanted to talk to you about what happened the other day." You don't want to make him even more upset.

"I forgive you, just leave me alone." Belphie doesn't seem interested. 

"No, I can't accept that. I want to apologize for my hurtful words. Please forgive me." You bow deeply. 

"I honestly have no idea what you even mean but sure whatever you are forgiven." Belphie is disinterested in the conversation. 

"I said something very rude about humans and I didn't know that you lost someone important to you that was human. I honestly never meant to hurt you." You feel very guilty about it. 

"Well, whatever. I'm over it. Just get out and leave me alone." Belphie seems merciless. 

"Alright, I can't force you to forgive me. I still hope that we might be able to get along in the future." You have said what you wanted to say, it's now up to Belphie. 

"You really never give up do you? This part of you was very annoying. Do what you want. Just don't expect me to play along with this charade. I won't be friends with you just because… whatever just leave me alone and we won't have any issues." Belphie seems very frustrated but also very sad. Heartbroken even. 

You know there is nothing else that you can say to him right now. "I will leave Belphie now but don't think that I will give up." You know there might be still a chance for you to get along with him.

"Do what you must, it's not like you will listen to me. You are thick-skulled after all, kinda like a mule." Belphie grumbles. 

You can't deny this statement. 

It's a bit frustrating but overall it's better that you leave the room. At least you said what you wanted to say. Maybe you can somehow move forward and find new common ground with him in the future?

You can only hope so.

  Still lost in thoughts you walk back to your room. 

Outside in the hallway, you find Levi. Who seems to stare at your door. 

"Levi? Were you looking for me?" You are a bit surprised to see him. 

“Waaaah! N-no I wasn't looking for you and then just ended up standing here for about 10minutes unable to knock at all!” Levi starts to stumble over his own words again, and tells you everything you need to know.

“Okay so… You want to come in?” You are sure that Levi wants something or at the very least he wants to spend time with you.

“I don't want to intrude or anything. You were just kinda sad looking earlier so I just wanted to see how you are…” Levi sighs, admitting the truth.

“That is very thoughtful of you. I'm better now, so do you want to come in or not?” You give him a gentle smile.

“If you insist…”Levi seems a bit giddy.

  You open your door and let him in.

Levi gets himself comfortable. “I have actually brought some anime and games to cheer you up, but I guess now that's kinda pointless...I'm a true failure as a friend.” Levi sighs heavily.

“It's very sweet of you to do that. I don't mind watching some of the stuff that you brought along and the games you have. I'm a bit curious about demon games. It's also very nice that you think of me as a friend. I'm really glad about that.” You look curiously at the bag that Levi has now placed on the table.

“You are my friend no matter what, even when...well you don't see me like that now…”Levi sighs again.

“Why would you think that? I mean, we have only just met, but you are a nice demon from my point of view.” You aren't sure why Levi talks like this about himself. 

"You are too nice to me…"Levi looks to the ground. It seems like he feels guilty about something. 

You decide to change the topic and take a look at the collection of anime that Levi has brought. 

'These all look very interesting but I wouldn't even know where to start. I haven't watched much anime in heaven. Most of them were educational. Which of these would you recommend?" You look at the colorful covers and don't even know where to start. 

"So you are basically a noob. Well in this case we start with this one. It's a cute anime about demons, angels, and humans all going to the same school and becoming friends. It's a slice of life anime." Levi shows you the cover and it looks extremely cute. 

"Sounds great, I might be able to learn a thing or two." You agree with the choice. 

"Nice, I know you will love it." Levi takes the movie disk and puts it into your recorder. 

Both of you get comfortable in front of the TV, with a bunch of pillows.

  Levi even brought a few cute looking snacks.

The anime starts to run with its cute theme song and cute characters, you are immediately hooked. It's a very cute show that is mainly focused on the friendship between the different characters and their daily adventures.

  In the end, you cry when they all have to separate. It manages to hit your core. 

"This was truly amazing; it made me cry. I somehow thought that Aki would end up with Aoi but in the end, they had to separate without ever saying it. It's so sad." You still wipe your tears away. 

"So you ship these two as well? That's very cool, same here. You think they at least hold hands but I think it's still very obvious that they care deeply about each other. I mean did you see how they each still have the phone straps with them and then the way they looked at each other and then you know when they were on the roof and Aoi wanted to say something but it was too loud. Then in that one scene, Aki got in between Aoi and Mori, when Mori was just about to tell Aoi the painful news. So heartbreaking." Levi seems to feel the same way you do. 

" I agree, is there anything more from this anime? Was it based on a Manga?" You still want more. 

"It was based on a light novel. I can bring it to you tomorrow but sadly it more or less just covers the anime. Though there are rumors of a sequel. It's very popular, it even got an app. Oh wait, I can show you the game if you want to. We can play it together." Levi seems very excited.

  It's pretty funny to see him talking so normally when it comes to his interests. 

"I can't wait to read it and I will try the game." You'll find Levi's passion rubbing off on you. 

You install the game and Levi shows you all the tricks and you add him to your friend list. 

Then you notice how late it is. "Levi, look at the time. I should get ready for bed." 

"Huh? Oh yeah, I haven't noticed, being with you is so much fun, I lost track of time." Levi seems surprised. 

"I feel the same way. We should do this again." You give him a kind smile. His cheering you up mission was a success for sure. 

"I -of course. Let's d-do this again. I will leave the rest of the stuff I brought here, just give them back when you are done." Levi seems to be suddenly self-aware again.

“Thank you, Levi, I will take good care of your belongings.” You politely smile at Levi.

"I look forward to your reaction." Levi gives you a genuine smile. 

You nod. "Sleep well, Levi." 

"Thank you, sleep well too." He nods back and then leaves you alone.

  You lay on your bed, feeling much more at ease.

  ~ 3 more parts to go.

[365days365movies]

March 7, 2021: Onward (2020) (Part One)

Finding Nemo.

That’s my favorite Pixar film. Real talk, no arguments, and today’s movie? NOT dethroning it. This movie is so hard-wired into my brain, that the second I typed the words of the title, the theme song ran through my head, where it lives rent-free. It will be a cold day when I don’t find an excuse to shout “NEMOOOO!!!! I HAVE TO FIND MY SON!!” at any opportune moment. I will never stop swimming. Whenever I catch a Chinchou or Lanturn in a Pokémon game, I name it “Goodfeeling’sgone”.

SHARK BAIT OOH HA HA

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE DEPTHS OF MY LOVE FOR THIS MOVIE.

...Ahem. So, yeah, I love FInding Nemo. For the record, the sequel ain’t bad. And also for the record, there’s only one Pixar movie that I consider to be bad, and it’s the one you’d think. You know, the one about ageism. The one where somebody dies by torture? The bad spy movie?

...the second one about cars?

Which means, YES. I DON’T THINK The Good Dinosaur IS THAT BAD! Not exactly good, but its gorgeous, and just kinda boring, not outright terrible. That Styracosaurus, though...that dude is great.

Anyway, off of Pixar for a sec, huh? What about fantasy? I’m a big tabletop RPG nerd, and I’m currently the GM for a Pathfinder campaign, a Pokémon RPG, and a Mutants and Masterminds game, while also playing in a Pathfinder game as well. Yeah, I’m a busy dewd. But what I’m saying is, this movie should be preaching to the choir for me. I’m a Pixar lover who plays RPGs. I’m ready for this. I’m ready for CGI Bright. Which is another way of saying, I’m ready for a version of Bright that doesn’t suck.

So, why haven’t I seen it until now? I mean...COVID-19. This film got FUCKED. But, no matter! It’s on Disney Plus, I’ve got Disney Plus, so let’s get this baby STARTED! Let’s get updated on some Pixar! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

OK, immediately digging the soundtrack over the Disney logo as we jump in here! Very ethereal, very fantasy, very LotR, I LIKE it, I LIKE it! And then...long ago, the world was full of wonder!

We get a view of the world of olde, with magic and many mystical, mythical creatures living together and adventuring. However, as magic wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to use, it eventually gave way to technology, fading away in a world now very similar to ours.

Basically, it’s about the same as our world, except for a few different races, and the fact that dragons are basically dogs, and unicorns are basically raccoons, which is fuckin’ fantastic.

We enter the home of teenage elf Ian Lightfoot (Tom Holland) and introverted now-16-year-old who lives with his mother, Laurel (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and his older brother Barley (Chris Pratt). Barley’s a tabletop RPG nerd who’s also a fan of the magical past. Said obsessions cause a strain on his relationship with Ian, and with that of his mother’s boyfriend, centaur policeman Colt Bronco (Mel Rodriguez).

After a discussion about Barley’s recent attempt to protect an old magical monument from destruction, he accidentally damages the sweatshirt that Ian is wearing, which was owned by their late father, Wilder. Ian rushes out, flustered, despite Barley’s attempts to bond with him. Well, looks like we have a sense of the plot for this one.

On his way to school, Barley stops to get some food when he meets Gaxton (Wilmer Valderrama), an old college friend of his father’s. From Gaxton, he learns things about his father that he never knew, like that he was bold and standout. From there, Barely pledges to try and be more self-confident, like his father.

Whiiiiiiich, doesn’t exactly work once he gets to school. He fails to stand-up to a jerky guy at school, he fails in his driving class, and he fails to ask other high school kids to his birthday party. But to be fair, Barley helps a bit with that last one when he shows up with Guinevere, his busted-ass van with a unicorn painted on the side. Which is supposed to be uncool...but I kinda dig it, not gonna lie.

After that, Ian completely flubs the invitation bit, confusing the people he was talking to, and disappointing himself in the process. He gets a ride home with Barley, and goes home to talk to a tape recording of his dad. Which is...beautifully sad, and somehow very easy to identify with. So, yeah, it’s gonna be that kind of Pixar movie.

Ian talks to his mom about his father at his age, asking if he was ever unsure. She says yes, but couples this with a surprise: a gift from his late father, who died of a terminal illness shortly after Ian’s birth. The gift is for both Ian and Barley, and was meant to be opened when they were both over 16.

She gets it from the attic, and they unwrap it, where it’s revealed to be a wizard’s staff. Which is weird, because Wilder was an accountant. In a pocket of the wrapping cloth, there’s a letter written by Wilder with the narration from the beginning of the film (that “Long ago” bit).

Also included is a spell, written by Wilder so that he could see who his sons grew up to be. This “Visitation Spell” would appear to be a way to bring Wilder back for 24 hours. Barley, being the magic-lover that he is, tries multiple times to cast the spell with the staff, but fails to do so, much to his and Ian’s great disappointment.

However, when Ian tries to read the spell out of curiosity later, the staff begins to react, and the spell begins to work. Barley comes in as this is happening, and the spell works...halfway. It starts to fail, and Barley offers to help, but Ian pulls the staff away, and the spell stops as the Phoenix crystal inside it shatters.

Looks like another bust, but it’s not a complete failure. And if you’ve seen literally any trailer for this movie, you know what happens.

Although it’s just his legs and feet, it’s still Wilden Lightfoot (Kyle Bornheimer...technically). The boys decide to try and complete the spell, but need another Phoenix Gem to do so. According to Barley’s “historically accurate” TTRPG, Quests of Lore, they will be able to find one by accepting a quest from the place where all quests start: the Manticore’s Tavern. And so, the quest begins!

The brothers and their half-dad board Guinevere and drive to the Manticore’s Tavern. On the way, Barley convinces Ian to practice some spells from the games rulebook, but they don’t work because Ian’s not invoking his passion (or his “heart’s fire”, as Barley calls it). Meanwhile, Laurel figures out where they’re headed, but doesn’t know exactly why...yet.

After the journey, they make it to the Manticore’s Tavern, which is now essentially a themed Chuck E. Cheese’s restaurant, owned and managed by Corey (Octavia Spencer), a very overworked manticore. Which is pretty great, not gonna lie.

They try to get the actual map to the Phoenix’s Gem from her in order to conjure their Dad, but she no longer sends adventurers on dangerous quests, mostly because she doesn’t want to get sued by any injured adventurers. When Ian argues with her about this, she IMMEDIATELY DIVES INTO AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS/MID LIFE CRISIS!

It’s, uh...it’s kind of amazing. Having completely lost it at this point, she basically tears down the entire building with her bare hands and fire-breath. Unfortunately, the map to the Phoenix Gem is burnt in the process of Corey’s literal meltdown. However, as Wilden’s about to be crushed by a couple of falling beams, Ian taps into his heart’s fire.

Nice. They get out of there, and head out for the Gem, using a child’s placemat replica of the real map to make their way to a place called Raven’s Point. However, rather than just follow the goddamn map, Barley decides to go on much more dangerous road known as the “Path of Peril”, once again following the “call of adventure” and his gut.

Which...yeah, Barley’s not really considering the reality of this whole situation, which fits his personality. He’s a dreamer, despite the rational and reasonable solution in front of him. And, in case you weren’t sure, I’m pretty sure that isn’t a good thing.

Ian points out the correct point that what actually matters is that they send enough time with their father, and they do indeed take the straightforward path. Good! Barley listened to Ian’s suggestion after all. However, they hit another snag when the car breaks down, completely out of gas. Problem.

Meanwhile, Laurel makes her way to the Manticore’s place, only to find it on fire! She meets Corey, who tells her that she’s met her boys, and told them about everything...except the curse. Also, there’s a curse. Laurel, who is the best movie Mom ever, tricks a policeman interviewing Corey to diverting his attention away from her, and smuggles her into her car to help find (and maybe rescue) her sons. 

Stuck off the freeway without gas, a desperate Ian asks Barley if there are any spells that can get them more gas. They concoct a plan involving a shrinking and growing spell, but that immediately goes wrong as Barley tries to instruct Ian, only frustrating him further, and causing him to fumble the spell and hit Barley with it, making him tiny. 

They decide to head to a gas station, where a group of pixie bikers has just arrived. This backfires when Barley, lacking basically any common sense, ends up insulting the biker leader, Dewdrop (Grey Griffin) and her ancestors. Nice one, Barley. As they escape from the pissed off pixies, the tiny Barley is unable to drive, forcing the driver’s anxiety-riddled Ian to drive, overcoming his fears from earlier by force, being chased by the pixies all the way. It’s a pretty good sequence, to be honest.

Well, they escape the Pixies...but not the cops. And I think that’ll be a good place to pick up in the next part! See you there!

[korgbelmont]

Newsletter 22/01/21

In the midst of the difficulties and uncertainties happening around the world, we're pressing onward to produce books we hope you'll fall in love with. As we continue to support one another within our studio, we can truly say that your thoughtful feedback has encouraged us during these challenging times. While we can't predict what'll happen next, we hope our 2021 books will provide you an outlet to smile, laugh, and relax during these times...

Book Updates

Without further ado, we wanted to take the time to update you on the various books to expect in the coming year. Hopefully, these will answer your most pressing questions!

With Every Heartbeat

Aching for another heartfelt Choices story? We're releasing this VIP book to all players at the end of the month. (Eagle-eyed fans might notice we've even updated some of the main character hairstyles!) Be sure to follow our official social accounts for more previews...

So It looks like WEH MC will have some new hairstyles, I know for a fact that this book SOOOO good, can’t wait to see peoples reactions to it.

Open Heart, Book 3

This February, make the most of your third year at Edenbrook and reunite with your favorite medical crew in Open Heart, Book 3! Will the heart of Edenbrook remain the same in Leland Bloom's hands?

So it looks like they are setting up the plot to have Bloom as the villain and the gang finding a way to get rid of him whilst keeping Edenbrook open. I am still wary of this book, but will see it through as I do believe it is the final book of the series.

#ChoicesCookbook

Calling all food lovers! Our team is whipping up a new dish of choices in the kitchen. Get your pots and pans ready for this exclusive Choices VIP book! We'd love to see you all participate with recipes of your own... What delectable dish can you make with these ingredients? Let us know using #playchoices and #ChoicesCookbook.

So this is a part of their branching out into new genres, I have no clue what to expect, I will keep an eye on it. and see what it’s like

Laws of Attraction

Bring your A-game to beat out the competition in this brand new title set in one of New York’s premier law firms. With high-profile cases and a hard-driving, mysterious boss, you’ll be in for dramatic days… and steamy nights!

So it looks like we are getting another book that’s potentially gonna be on the more... mature side. I am curious to see how this will play out and what the premise is going to be.

Crimes of Passion

We’re hyped for this book, and although it won’t be out until later this year, we couldn’t resist sharing a little peek at what you can expect from this thrilling, unpredictable, and jaw dropping mystery book.

So I haven’t exactly been quiet about my excitement for this book, and this image gives off some SERIOUS culty vibes. Crimes of Passion is definitely my top book for this year to keep an eye on.

The Nanny Affair, Book 2

Book 2 of The Nanny Affair is in the works and will be releasing later this year. Can't wait to find out what's going to happen next? Here's the latest hint:

"We have a lot of exciting plans in the works for The Nanny Affair, Book 2 (and trust me, the art team is outdoing themselves). We don't want to give away too much, but let's just say, you may not be the only nanny in town this time around..." - Megan

As I said before, I enjoyed book 1 and am looking forward to book 2. I am curious as to how it will all play out, by the sounds of this, maybe Sam gets another Nanny in whilst they and MC work to sort out the fallout from the wedding??

Zombies

We know plenty of you have been dying for a zombie book. (Yes, we see those tweets and messages!) Until now, we were only able to share a zombie emoji… But we can make this official: zombies will be taking over Choices later this year, so stay tuned!

So I’ve been playing a lot of Resident Evil recently, and the creatures on the right give me serious RE vibes. I am now curious as to what the premise of this book will be and how it will all play out. 

The Royal Finale

As mentioned in our last Choices Insiders email, the final book of The Royal Romance series will air later this year. Here's a quote from the Book Lead to tide you over until then:

"In The Royal Finale, you'll uncover new secrets, unravel old mysteries, and experience new heights of royalty with your family!" - Olivia

I hope the “unravel old mysteries” is in part, reference to what part Jackson played in Liam’s mother’s second child. And with the whole secret society thing, who knows what’s gonna happen. 

Queen B, Book 2

You just can’t get enough of us, can you, newbie? Enjoy that high of being Queen B… Because what goes up, must always come down. - Kisses, the T.

Oooh, we're excited! Writers Chelsa and Maya have sent us this cryptic message:

🤫🙈✉️👑🐝🔥❌🎧🐍💋

What do you think it means?

Emojis and I have a terrible history so I ain’t gonna try and decrypt that (leave a reply if you do). As for the book itself, I am looking forward to it, aside from the forced Kingsley romance, I enjoyed book 1. I looking forward to the mystery element and hopefully seeing Zoey get her proper LI treatment, and hopefully see Veronica & Carter become LIs.

More New Books in the works!

We are continuing to work on more multi-gender books, including Blades of Light & Shadow 2 launching 2022.

More books. Yay (in theory (depends what they are))

News about Other Sequels

Many of you have asked when or if your favorite books would continue. We want to make sure we inform the community with confirmed and finalized details regarding sequels. To explain a little more in depth about how Choices sequels are decided, our Head of Content Max took some time to give us that insight:

After a great deal of consideration and discussion, we have decided that officially these series will not be getting additional books: Most Wanted, Hero, Nightbound, the It Lives series, The Elementalists, Distant Shores, and Ride-or-Die.I know this may be disappointing to hear, and the truth is, we’re always disappointed when we have to make this decision. I’d like to share a little bit of our process to help you understand why this happens.

Whilst it is a shame, it is nice to have clarification, especially with Most Wanted & Hero. I was surprised to see that Ride or Die won’t be getting a sequel, but sometimes these things happen. As for It Lives, Distant Shores, Elementalists, and Nightbound, I knew they wouldn’t get sequels, but it is a bit of a heart punch to see some personal faves get an official status of concluded.

About once a month, I, along with a small group of Pixelberry's senior staff, make the hard decisions about which books will be written next. Deciding whether or not we make a sequel is an evolving process that we've refined over the years. But even today, it remains ever-changing, and it's never simple.

So I don’t really know what to say here, it’s rather self explanatory. So, yeah.

Sometimes, we want to do a sequel but the Lead Writer is no longer available because they’ve moved onto another project or even left the company. We've tried changing Lead Writers in the past, only to watch sequels struggle, losing sight of what made the original great. This is what happened in the case of Ride or Die; we simply don’t have the team now with the passion and vision to give fans the sequel they crave.

I saw a post by @thefirstcourtesan​ that OH and ROD share a book lead and after what happened to OH2, it is understandable what happens, and sometimes these things will happen. As for ROD, it works as a standalone, and I am okay with there not being a sequel.

Sometimes a book is a critical darling, beloved by both fans and Pixelberry staff... yet the player numbers aren't there to justify doing another one. This is what happened, for example, with Nightbound, Most Wanted and Distant Shores; while these books were beloved by their players, simply not enough players were starting them to begin with. And these are the ones that hurt the most. We genuinely love these books, but if they haven’t found enough of an audience with our players, then it’s very hard to argue for making a sequel. Believe me, I can't think of a single writer on my team who isn't passionate about their book, but ultimately we are one company in an extremely competitive space, and we have to do whatever it takes to keep running well. If a Book costs significantly more to make than it brought in, it’s very difficult to justify a sequel.

Again, I don’t really know what to say here, again it’s rather self explanatory. Given how long it’s been since Most Wanted, it was safe to say BK2 weren’t happening. 

Other times, everyone online seems to hate a book, but the numbers disagree. It's hard to believe, but your most loathed book -- the one that you feel no way deserved a sequel -- might actually be the one that's keeping the lights on for us. And without those books (and those players!), half a dozen other beloved titles may never have existed. We're thankful for sequels. They help us fund future books and projects to try new things. If it weren’t for the success of sequels to books like The Royal Romance and America’s Most Eligible, we would never have been able to try a risky experiment like Blades of Light and Shadow.

This comes across a tiny bit boasty, but it is kinda true, their more generally released romance books are why we get the big ones such as Blades, and I know people diamond mine the quicker released books for the big ones. So, yeah, I don’t really know how to say it, sorry.

We love our online fandom, and your passion, creativity, and art. At the same time, the most visible parts of the fandom sometimes represent a smaller percentage of our players, many of whom might have completely different taste. We have a vast varied player base, and our job is to try as hard as we can to create interesting stories for all of them.

Finally, saying no to one book almost always means saying yes to something new. And without new there is no Pixelberry. When we said no to Most Wanted, much of that team went on to write Endless Summer. When we decided to stop making sequels to Rules of Engagement, that team went on to create The Royal Romance.

With every new book we create, I hope against hope that it'll be our next hit, the start of a ten-volume series that fans will love and support! Some of them are. Some of them aren't. Either way, I hope you stick with us. Sequels are great. So are new things, and I hope most of all that your true favorite Choices book is still out there, waiting to be written.

The fandom is going to make up a small section of it and at the end of the day, they are a company, so the numbers are gonna be what counts. And in saying no to a sequel, it means they can go on to experiment with new story ideas. 

Looking Forward

Internally we've been working on the representation promises that we made in June 2020. We've implemented some new Black hairstyles into With Every Heartbeat, and will continue to add more new hairstyles in our upcoming books. We plan on posting a representation blog in the coming months to share a full update of our progress.

So I am curious to see how VIP players would react to updates to With Every Heartbeat, but I am glad to see representation being shown and that they are working on it.

Last but not least... We appreciate you <3

We’ve seen a rise in constructive criticism in our social channels and want to personally thank you for all of your honest feedback. We read all of your concerns and continue to evolve our thinking and processes based on your feedback. At the same time we take our responsibility of crafting stories very seriously. Sometimes we disagree with suggestions or due to constraints can’t enable changes we agree with, but we do try to improve over time and learn from your feedback.

We also continue to ask that you communicate with each other respectfully. And keep in mind that just like with other parts of the internet, just because someone posts something doesn’t mean it’s always true. To everyone who helps keep our community a safe place to freely share your thoughts, opinions and love - thank you. Your respect and kindness goes a long way, and we are looking forward to spending more time with all of you in the coming year.

We’re looking forward to a great 2021 with you!

Finally, I’m glad that they’re reading what people are saying, it is understandable that there will be disagreements with suggestions, that’s just life, it’s human nature. I am curious to see what will be released in the coming year and how they will play out.

In summary

I had a feeling that books they said won’t get sequels weren’t, especially Hero and Most Wanted. It is sad to see that It Lives won’t be concluded, and I knew Nightbound & Distant Shores weren’t going to get sequels (unfortunately).

Glad to see them making more multi gender books, hopefully we will get more like Foreign Affairs with the different pro-noun options.

I am curious about Laws of Attraction and very much looking forward to seeing how Crimes of Passion will play out. I will post my thoughts and theories as we get new information

Stay safe everyone :)

[thejustmaiden]

The Sesshomaru F*cks Debacle

Hey, fellow Inuyasha fans! How we feeling?? I imagine a lot of us are doing quite fabulously after the recent news we got about the sequel coming out this Fall, "Hanyou No Yashahime." So if it wasn't obvious already, I want to take the time to discuss the topic of- you guessed it- Sesshomaru. Go figure! 

***THIS IS A REPOST OF MY ORIGINAL BLOG THAT DISAPPEARED FROM THE TAGS. PICS/GIFS HAVE BEEN REMOVED TO HOPEFULLY REPAIR THAT.***

Let's be real, as much as probably (and literally lol) all of us have viewed him as "daddy material" at some point or another during our teens, Sesshomaru being physically intimate with another being, much less a human, is difficult to conjure up in our minds. And there's nothing wrong with that, per se, as sex and romance doesn't come so easily to some as it does to others. Then again, that's not to say a romantic relationship is completely impossible or unattainable for him either. 

I, for one, am not a huge fan of the idea of Sesshomaru siring children of his own. Granted, adopting/protecting children and other small companions is kinda his thing (I saw one user even describe him as a 'walking daycare' 🤣), and maybe it'll just take some getting used to, but all in all it's not entirely unfathomable to picture him having biological children. Though I'd be lying if I said I still didn't prefer he just took these two twin half-demon girls in and under his wing instead, like he did Rin. However, seeing as that's unlikely the case since the two girls resemble him in some fashion, the chances of that coming true are slim, which must mean that Sesshomaru did in fact bone some lucky lady. That's not to say I don't acknowledge that there's still a chance these kids aren't truly his but we'll see! 

Which leads me to the real reason behind this blog! I'd like to address in-depth why I and so many other Inuyasha fans consider shipping S*ssrin as wrong and why it makes a lot of us extremely uncomfortable. 

BUT FIRST BEFORE I FORGET, I want to give a little unofficial disclaimer by stating that this blog isn't intended to upset certain fans regarding my stance on the controversial ship. Thus I will not tag it under that ship name, and I suggest others who agree with me to do the same in any of their future posts. 

Because let's not forget that the most important thing is that we're all fans here. We fell in love with this story and hold its beloved characters close to our hearts for a reason. And that still counts even if you're returning to this fandom a decade later. So please, let's try and remember that and be civil towards one another. Putting people down by attacking and insulting others in real life really doesn't make us any better than them. I REPEAT, please do not engage in this post unless you plan to be kind and respectful of others who may have a differing opinion than you. There's never a need to be ugly towards another human being. That goes for all shippers and fans of Sesshomaru in general. Thank you in advance for your understanding and compliance. 😊

Again, none of these comments are aimed at being inflammatory towards those fans who have a different approach to this pairing. If any of you are reading this now, please keep that in mind before deciding to participate in any discourse with me and other antis. 

Okay, let me go ahead and list a few of the main arguments fans of this particular ship use to support them together. Then I'll give my reasons why those aren't enough to justify their relationship turning romantic:

1. Rin will be an adult before they get romantically involved

2. Sesshomaru didn't raise her and therefore isn't her father; he was never like a father to her in the first place

3. Sesshomaru hasn't been grooming her, not then and not now. Besides, it was Rin's choice first.

4. Age difference shouldn't matter when you look at other relationships in the series (InuKag, Koga x Ayame, etc.)

5. It was always going to be canon because the drama CDs exist

 These are the main points I'm seeing around. Now let's dissect them, shall we? These are my direct responses- I'll try to keep them short and concise. Fyi: Jk! I'm lying, that never happens. 😆

1. Rin may be an adult, but from our standpoint that doesn't make much of a difference. It doesn't matter because it's all about how her relationship with Sesshomaru started off and how it continued onwards. From that moment, it was basically established from the get-go that their relationship resembles that of one a young girl shares with an older man who winds up becoming her guardian. She initiated it by trying to bring him food while he was injured, and he reciprocated by deciding to bring her back to life that fateful day. 

Of course we're all happy that he did, because he's a better demon for it and a similar thing could be said about her! Therefore you must understand that fans against this pairing find it very hard to grasp the notion of a budding romance here when we look at their history. For us, it's synonymous to imagining a father eventually falling in love with his daughter or someone else who reminds him of a daughter, and vice versa. But let's just say he's not a father to her like many of you claim and more like, say a modern-day babysitter. Isn't it still bizarre to you that a young girl could fall in love with the man who looked after her and cared for her at that age, maybe even played games with? One day or on multiple occasions he even sees her naked because she had an accident and got hurt so she needed help changing or something. I admit it's more realistic that it was Jaken if anyone who'd be in charge of this, but why does it really matter who was tasked with what? Sesshomaru may have not been around all the time but that doesn't mean he's any less involved or invested in Rin's general care and well-being. So it's that thought alone that keeps many of us from even contemplating a romance forming between them. Whether he hardly interacted with her over the years or not is irrelevant, because it's clear to me that they have both formed a strong enough bond that constitutes calling them family. I highly doubt he ever even planned to keep Rin in his company as long as he did. But it happened, and whether you want to admit it or not, meeting her changed his life. Meaning Rin was never just some girl he traveled with or hardly knew. Despite his feigned indifference and stoic ways at times, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that Rin grew on him and was the first person to really influence him in a way that helped soften and open up that heart of his in a way nobody ever had before. One's significance to any given person isn't solely measured by the quantity of time spent alongside that person but by the quality of how that time was spent with said person. It's safe to say that in the case of Sesshomaru and Rin, they definitely fall under that category. 

2. Fair if you don't view Sesshomaru as Rin's father, but you must acknowledge that he did fill some father figure-like role to her at the very least. Or let's just call him her vassal if you think that's a more accurate description. Also, can I just quickly stress again that it doesn't matter how long she spent by his side or whether she spent more time in the village or not, because he still ended up playing a major part in her childhood as an adult male role model. Regardless of the title you give him, it still stands that although he may not be her official adoptive father, he is LIKE A FATHER. There really is no point in denying that, because their dynamic exudes one of a father-daughter. I guarantee you that any outsider looking in would agree that if not her father then at the very least he embodies a male relative of some kind. Honestly, the details of their relationship dynamic specific to this show (regional/period differences, human vs. demon culture, etc.), don't really matter here. Why? Because one can assume that the general consensus here is that a large percentage of fans perceive their connection as a familial one. Yes, most would unanimously agree that Rin and Sesshomaru, along with Jaken and Ah-Un, are a FAMILY. 

If she had first met him as an adult, then we'd possibly have a very different story here. The point of the matter is that he didn't, so that should be where this discussion ends. Unfortunately, for many, it's not. The bottom line is that a child he knew and cared for should never be someone he begins to view in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed (or that to demons years are like days or some less inconsequential length of time), and how much she's matured or how specific marriage customs were back then (if they're no longer appropriate now then why are we still condoning these backward practices?). Rin should NEVER have the desire to be sexually attracted to this father figure she's always looked to and trusted to protect her. Maybe it's vastly different from a demon's perspective (even though still unjustifiable in my opinion), but as a human, Rin's feelings towards Sesshomaru wouldn't and shouldn't suddenly change towards him and in such a drastic manner mind you. Yeah, maybe she used to have an innocent crush on him, but I'd like to think our smart and compassionate little Rin would learn that was simply because she was a child who didn't know any better. Besides, growing up with Kaede and around other humans I'd like to think she fell in love with another human sometime over the course of all those years. It only makes sense, right? Don't you think that's part of why Sesshomaru left her there in the first place? He wished for her to experience what it was like to live a normal human life, falling in love and marriage both being a key part of that. If I were Sesshomaru, I'd be deeply troubled if I started to develop feelings for a little girl I once protected and kept in my company for quite an extended period of time, which was at least a year from what I understand. (Pls correct me if I'm wrong because I gather it may have been longer.) 

3. Apparently in the manga and the Final Act, we see Sesshomaru still visits the village to check on Rin from time to time. He even brings her gifts, such as beautiful and luxurious kimonos. I recently learned from another Tumblr post that kimonos are what older men gift in order to sort of earn their favor with these young ladies, AKA they're wooing them. If that is indeed true, then that would mean he's basically grooming her and has been for however long she's lived there in the village but potentially even longer. To put it nicely, he's courting her. If this was another young lady (maybe not an adult perhaps but still of marrying age) who he DIDN'T assist in raising, then I could possibly get on board with this.

The thing is, it's far from that with them two if you consider everything they've gone through and endured together! Because he not only met her as a young girl but he got to know her first as a young girl, and she became one of his traveling companions all while she was only a young girl!!! Their bond will always be defined by that time when she was just a young girl, and nothing can or should change that he will always see her in that same light. Kinda like how our parents or other family members from older generations tell us that they'll always see us as their babies. So the fact that her time spent with Sesshomaru is constantly compared to her time spent in the village shouldn't apply here. Don't we all know this already? That we can can come across someone in our lifetime and maybe the time with them is short-lived, but that doesn't make it any less significant or those people any less special. Sesshomaru made an impact on her as much as she did on him, that much we know is true. Sure, it was years ago, but that's not something you ever forget. Sometimes when you look at loved ones you haven't seen in a while, there are just certain memories you have of them from over the years that will come rushing back to you without fail and that you will always cherish no matter what. I'd like to believe that when Rin looks at Sesshomaru and he looks at her, that they can both look back fondly on their times traveling together. This explains why I'm really struggling here to picture how anyone could sleep with someone they used to treat as their guardian/father/ward/daughter/what have you. So someday and somehow, this person just stops viewing them that way, is that it? I mean, how does this work exactly? It's not like you can just flip off a switch and forget everything from your past with this person, ya know? Unless you have your memory wiped, what I'm understanding is that S*ssrin shippers approve of the idea of these two characters KNOWING that they are or used to be like practically FAMILY to each other, yet agree that these two characters in question still have the capacity not to mention desire to pursue HAVING SEX with each other anyway. Do I got that all right? Did I miss anything?  

Originally I provided two examples of fan art I found to help put what I'm trying to say here into better perspective, but since they've been removed, just type in "Sesshomaru and Rin" on Google and you'll find plenty of examples of what I'm talking about here- and no, it's not S*ssrin images. I realize Sesshomaru has never been the touchy-feely sorta guy like it's depicted in some of the fan art, but that doesn't necessarily diminish the affection he feels and attachment he has towards Rin. He just has a different way of expressing his love is all, even if he doesn't outwardly show it. The real question here is, can you really look at sweet pictures of an adult comforting a child who's been under his care for a significant amount of time and then suddenly be like, "oh man, I can't wait till they bang!" I'm sorry, to each their own, but you gotta admit why we must find that creepy. 

4. Regarding Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship, we need to remember that he didn't age after all those years stuck to that tree. And besides, demons age differently so this is a pretty unfair comparison. This isn't the best example, but think about how a cat's lifespan works. 10 years in (indoor) cat years is like 56 in human years. So technically in demon years, Inuyasha is physically and emotionally compatible with a human around Kagome's age. Hell, even though he's over a hundred years older, Kagome is still a whole lot more mature than he probably ever will be! 😂 (Psst! We still love you, Inuyasha! 💋)

Now as for Koga and Ayame, this also isn't comparable to Sesshomaru and Rin. Koga met Ayame one night, only not to see her ever again until she was older and of age. After rescuing her on that night when she was only a girl, he gives her a piggyback ride and you can tell he just wants to cheer her up when he mentions her being his wife someday. (And boy, did that work wonders on Ayame!) Then they gaze at this stunning lunar rainbow together, which I think is quite rare judging by looks of it. This is not an attempt to defend this proposal- if we can even really call it that- but all I'm saying is that I don't think even Koga knows what overcame him in that moment. Fast forward to present-day when they cross paths again, and Ayame still remembers his so-called promise, but guess who doesn't right away? Yep, our man Koga! It takes a quite a while for it to come back to him, too. This further proves my point that something beyond Koga and his power possessed him to say all those things to a little Ayame for some reason. Maybe you can call it destiny, or maybe it was some special kind of magic caused by the lunar rainbow, Idk! All I know is that they do end up together in the Final Act and that it wasn't until they met as two consenting wolf-demons that they really grew to know each other and coincidentally- or maybe not so coincidentally- fall in love.

 5. From what I understand, it appears these drama CDs are some kind of satire which doesn't equate to canon. Perhaps Rumiko did not debunk them but she also didn't confirm they're true either. I'm hearing conflicting reports, however, and her involvement in them is questionable. Like her name is supposedly on the cover or something? But then I've also heard that she has spoken out against this ship. From the sounds of it, there is enough evidence- or lack thereof rather- to conclude that fans cannot use this as proof enough for their ship already being or soon-to-be canon. 

Finally, I'd like to end on this note where I'll be addressing ethics in entertainment. When it comes to our choice of entertainment, there's always a level of escapism implied, sometimes so much that we project ourselves onto certain characters. Delving into a fantasy world like that of Inuyasha can really help some people better cope with real life problems, but it's all about striking the right balance, as each individual has different wants and needs. The thing is there's only so much escapism one can allow in a fictional world before basic morals from our own world begin to take precedence. I can always enjoy some good fantasy, but it's not long until I start to reflect on how I personally relate what entertainment I'm currently absorbed in to real life. It's inevitable really. For example, if certain relationships portrayed on screen conflict with strong opinions I've adopted on a sensitive topic, especially those that take children into account, then I feel it's my responsibility to speak out against any media that even remotely promotes it. Yes, even if it's just fiction. Because art imitates life, right? (And yes, sometimes the other way around.) So in other words, our stories should mirror our way of life to some degree. History has seen its fair share of ugly events and traditions we are surely ashamed of but that we've hopefully learned our lessons from. Most societies nowadays seriously frown upon or condemn stuff like pedophilia, child grooming, or anything of the sort. Of course it doesn't help that we see still see these kinds of issues glossed over so much that we've become desensitized to them in many respects.

The thing is we cannot allow this way too common older-man-dotes-on-young-girl trope (or anything resembling it) to continue to be glorified or romanticized. It matters not that feudal Japan was a drastically different time to be alive and that this was the norm back then, or even that this remains a popular ship in Japan. All it comes down to is if whether we would currently tolerate such acts and behaviors were we to witness them in real life. If your answer is 'no', then it should be 'no' in every respect. If you deem it acceptable just because it's fiction, then I'm sorry to say, but you're going to have to answer to a lot of people. No surprise there, that goes for all fandoms. I guarantee you it's not just the people who personally identify as victims who have serious qualms with this ship either, because you don't necessarily need to have bad experiences of your own in order sympathize and see where a lot of these people are coming from. And no, just because I'm unhappy with the possibility of S*ssrin going canon does not mean I'm whining or that I'm attempting to spread negativity about this series before it's even out. Remember, fans have the right to be critical of whatever content it is they're watching/reading, and if they demand something in the storytelling be represented better, then of course they can challenge that. After all, none of us should feel like "canceling" the content we love is our only hope to fixing a story. That's not how it ever should be. Fans are fed up, and can you really blame them? Nah, we can strive to do better in this area, plus it's not like there isn't always room for improvement. So let's please be more vigilant about how the content we consume translates to reality, in addition to being mindful of how it can directly correlate to real life problems for ourselves as well as others around us.  

That's a wrap, y'all!! I hope you enjoyed what I had to offer on this topic, and here's hoping I actually contributed something new to this conversation! I'm aware that that's unlikely the case for us fans who've been living in this tag the past couple days (like me lol), but I'd like to believe I put my own spin on it and it was still worth your while. 😉 

P.S. Overall, I remain optimistic about the new show! So are there any friendly Inuyasha group chats on Tumblr I can join? If so, please do invite me! I need to obsess about this sequel even more than I already am, EEEK!!!

[danwhobrowses]

Why ‘The Karate Kid Part II’ Deserves More Respect

So guess what film I finished watching today? Of course, the Karate Kid franchise is considered iconic mainly for its first entry; Wax on Wax off, Skeleton fights, Sweep the Leg and the Crane Kick all cemented its legacy that allowed Cobra Kai to also be such a success. But imagine my shock when the approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes for Part II is 45% - 21% lower than the Jaden Smith ‘The Karate Kung Fu Kid’ version (and Part III is scored 15%, which is also super harsh but hard to debate outside of the magnificence of Terry Silver). Originally this was just gonna be a general post of how much I enjoyed retreading Part II, but upon seeing that score I had to give it my ‘Deserves More Respect’ posts.

It is an off-chance, but if you haven’t watched this film there will be spoilers within, I encourage you to watch it before reading, and maybe watch it again if you have so it’s fresh in the mind

Let’s start with a controversial point shall we? There are several parts where Part II is actually better than the original. Now I know! There’s a lot about the original which is iconic, but nostalgia does blind you to other shortcomings and while it’s easy to sell the first part because of its mystique, a sequel has the added pressure of rising above and developing on old and new themes set by the predecessor. The Premise In case you decided against refreshing your memory. Karate Kid Part II starts with a recap of Part I, a bit of content that was meant to be Part I’s final scene (in the script, not for filming) and then a timeskip. Ali with an i is gone - brutally dumping Daniel for some Football Player before Senior Prom and after crashing his car, Daniel’s mother is in Fresno for work and Miyagi has received a letter from his home Okinawa in news of his father’s fading health. The stage is set for Daniel and the audience to learn more about the iconic Mr. Miyagi and the life he left behind. Okay, so there is bad in this film Part II deserves respect, but it’s not perfect. It definitely gets messy near the end with Daniel’s antagonist Chozen, he mainly took beats from Johnny Lawrence in physically confronting Daniel when he could with a bunch of no-named goons and he fought pretty similarly to Johnny in catch counters and leg strikes. The opening recap did take a lot of time too, while the ending remained somewhat abrupt having just beaten up Chozen to embrace Kumiko (who had a delayed recovery after being punched once). While not bad, a fair amount of retreaded content felt like downgrades of the original; Chozen and Sato lacked the charisma of Johnny and Kreese, the crane kick was far more impressive than the drum technique and the Tournament setting was grander than the O-Bon festival. But, there are Iconic Moments in this film too Part I may have the Crane Kick and the Skeletons and the Training and Sweep the Leg. But people may forget that Part II had awesome moments too.

Like Daniel chopping through 6 Sheets of Ice! If that isn’t one hell of a power play I don’t know what is. It is a moment genuinely impressive in and outside of the 80s cheese universe of Karate Kid, and it gets referenced in Season 2 of Cobra Kai.

Also referenced in Season 2 is Miyagi vs Kreese. While this is the intended ending for Part I, it certainly acted better at the start of Part II, especially given that is foreshadows the situation Daniel finds himself in at the end of the movie. This moment is equally iconic as it completely encapsulates the character of both senseis - Kreese the confident brute brought to a sniveling mouse when size and power failed him and Miyagi the cool-headed and vastly more intelligent fighter still with the cheeky prankster lightness to him as he honks the scared shitless Kreese on the nose. Perfect.

While I did want to cite the Tea Ceremony as well I think the more iconic moment for Part II had to be Miyagi chopping the log during the storm. The storm itself is a very well-done scene which unmasks several characters in the face of adversity. True tension, worry and stakes are sold as the village are in danger of the cruel whims of nature, an act which is all too real for Sato when the house he’s in collapses on him in the calm before his scheduled deathmatch with Miyagi. Not only is this again some great foreshadowing by the rule of three (Daniel asking if Miyagi can chop a log like Sato is doing with a banner and then Miyagi and Sato meeting and seeing Sato fail to chop a log) it proves a pivotal point where Sato turns from aggrieved antagonist to repenting ally. A great show of power and friendship as Miyagi metaphorically breaks the rift between their friendship that weighs Sato down. Okay, we hear you, but how is it better? I do have to preface that I do still love Part I, I have to because in pointing out where Part II is better I have to pick at Part I’s faults. While the ending is messy Part II definitely has much better pacing, until the skeletons scene Part I doesn’t really pick up because it has to set up, Part II while it does recap doesn’t need to worry about it. Giving Miyagi the main plot was definitely Part II’s strongest suit. Part I profited from Miyagi being the ‘mysterious old teacher’ but learning a lot more about his humanity and history was engrossing and it allowed positive development for Miyagi and Daniel, especially their bond as a surrogate father and son when Daniel personally goes out of his way to support Miyagi on a very personal matter. The main characters maintain their charm as well, still a lovely array of life lessons in Part II more than just finding balance, Miyagi teaches Daniel through words and action on taking time to breathe, to refocus when imbalanced, to forgive rather than to harbour hate, mercy, selflessness and humbleness

“never put passion before principle. Even if win, you lose.” - Mr. Miyagi

The scenes involving Miyagi and his father were some of the most deep and emotive of the series up until Cobra Kai, some still haven’t been topped such as Miyagi’s dad’s first words to his son or when Daniel talked about when his father died.  And say what you will about Chozen, he does have a lot of Johnny vibes but a lot of the character we believed was Johnny due to nostalgia goggles was more fitting of Chozen’s manner. The story did a great job in making sure Chozen was always an asshole, at times Johnny did at least display honour and grace but Chozen was always sore about stuff and quick to claim dishonour even when he was in the wrong. Contrary to Johnny it’s more about his family than it is about a girl, which allowed a lot more freedom in the plot. Whether you felt Elizabeth Shue’s Ali with an i was prettier than Tamlyn Tomita’s Kumiko is up to personal preference, but the messy-haired Kumiko definitely had a slightly improved presence in Part II than Ali did, with actual focus on her own feelings outside of attraction to Daniel, her ambition to become a dancer directly linking to the O-Bon Festival - which in turn related to the Drum technique - as well as the delicately beautiful Tea Ceremony scene and actually contributing to the final fight (granted Ali wouldn’t be allowed to). Also Daniel didn’t try to eat her face which is a general improvement to the romantic subplot, extra applause has to go to Tomita here too because this was legitimately her first role - Shue had her second so that’s impressive too - and both women had good careers going forward. The increased stakes definitely worked in the favour of Part II as well, as sequel culture is forced to do, but by moving to Okinawa (actually filmed in Hawaii) we opened the door to better suit Miyagi’s world while keeping Daniel the fish out of water. I can’t speak too much for appropriation because there is still kinda some ‘white saviour’ undertones but I didn’t feel like Japan was treated negatively in this light, its culture of the O-Bon Festival and the Tea Ceremony was treated with the utmost respect and explained without pandering, the flute music had definitely stepped up its game for the soundtrack as did the imagery. Can also appreciate that Daniel does go for the Crane kick when fighting Chozen but is parried. Added hat tip has to go to costuming too. A lot of costumes would have to have distinct Kamon such as Sato’s twin fish and Miyagi’s bonsai on a lot of their clothing

Between Sato and Miyagi the colours of their clothes often code their emotions towards each other, with Sato usually in grey and Miyagi in white or cream, when Sato and Miyagi prepare for death they are in black and when Sato wants forgiveness he moves to a lighter shade. While Part I also used black and white to differ Johnny and Daniel, Part II put Chozen and Daniel in the more Japanese-themed Red and Blue. While both men wear red, blue and whites at time, Chozen’s clothes almost devolve from the white he debuts in as his darker side comes out before flat out embracing yellow after his chance to prove his honour in the storm is refused (and he’s in white then), while Daniel often moves to Red or red tones even in his blue shirt. Kumiko also moves from white to blue, sometimes even purple, in set up to the final fight to have the primary colours stand out in the colourful crowd of the O-Bon festival, but even in the blue Kumiko had red to pair her connection with Daniel. Also her Yukata at the festival is just stunning, the Great Wave off Kanagawa print is a nice touch.

Anything else we should know? It might not be much else about the film itself I can tell you, but I do appreciate something I’m starting to call ‘The Rocky Connection’ when it comes to Karate Kid. Like Part I’s ‘You’re the Best (Around)’ was shortlisted for Rocky III, Part II’s song ‘Glory of Love’ was shortlisted for Rocky IV’s theme, losing to ‘Hearts on Fire’, Bill Conti also chose to score this film instead of Rocky IV. I like to pair this with Daniel’s Rocky-esque character, he has that same kind of swagger but a lot more naive and childlike. Martin Kove also gets a nod because those bleeding hands were legit, he had an accident on-set and the footage was kept for the final cut. Tamlyn Tomita wasn’t the only film debut for Part II, B.D. Wong of...well, several famous roles including but not limited to Shang in the animated Mulan, Dr. Wu in the Jurassic Park franchise, Hugo Strange in Gotham and many more, also had his debut here in a minor speaking role when he’s handing out flyers for the dance party to Kumiko and Daniel before the Ice Chopping Scene. So, why does it deserve respect A film that adds to a beloved character in a respectful fashion without having really any god awful moments does not deserve a 4.5/10 rating. It may not have as emphatic an ending or as great a villain but it has a captivating plot and a good pace, better stakes and much more emotionally driven and responsive scenes. A lot of effort and dedication went into this film to explore new dimensions of the main characters in a fashion which was enjoyable and at times heartwarming. And characters are given human moments, even Miyagi confesses himself not to be perfect and it keeps each character grounded. Even to this day parts of Part II are remembered fondly rather than the campness that Part III had outside of Terry Silver and his magnificent ponytail, the fondness also continues to reflect in Cobra Kai with homages and fan theories of Daniel going to Okinawa again and even re-encountering Chozen. Not to mention it grossed $113m on a $13m budget and got nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar (losing to Top Gun) Part II was a good and enjoyable film which deserves far more credit than to be rated this low, for that it deserves respect.

[redisriding]

Reading Schedule

{UPDATED 26 December 2020}

I thought I would share in case anyone is looking for book recommendations, has recommendations, wants to read along, or chat about books. My ask box is always open if anyone has any recommendations that they think I might like, or wants opinions on books I’ve read.

December

From Blood and Ash - [READ] To be totally honest, I found this book disappointing. Maybe I had set my expectations too high because I had seen so many people online talking about it, but it just didn’t do it for me. From the beginning the book is VERY much a tell don’t show. I also found it in places, frankly, boring. The romance just didn’t sizzle enough, and (without spoiling anything) for a maiden who is supposed to be cloistered away from the world, unable to speak to anyone, she seems to have a lot of interaction with people on a daily basis. She even admits in the first chapter to find it difficult to talk to people as she doesn’t understand the cadence of conversation, yet she is perfectly capable of witty interaction with everyone around her??? Also, I wasn’t super keen on the hero, he didn’t make my bathing-suit parts tingle as I hoped. He was kind of an obnoxious asshole and not in a sexy I want to smush genitals kind of way. Finally, the plot twists were utterly predictable and poorly executed. I think the main take away from this book was that it was excruciatingly boring. I will not be reading the sequel.

Splash Me - [READ] This book was the definition of SHORT but sweet. I read it in about a half hour so I’m not even sure if that classifies it as a novella. Regardless, it’s sweet, even if role-play gives me the ick.

Pumpkin Pounder - [READ] This book came in a duo with Splash Me. It’s a little longer but equally sweet. Still only took an hour to read.

Crescent City: House of Earth and Blood - [REREAD] I was in a bit of a book slump and felt like rereading one of my favourite books of 2020. It was great! If you haven’t already, read it! Although I have some THOUGHTS™️ about one particularly storyline that I need to think about some more before expressing. 

Wallbanger - [DNF] This book has been on my to read list since the start of the year, I thought it would be nice to read it before the end of the year, but a couple of pages in I knew it wasn’t going to be for me. I didn’t like the heroine and was a bit icked-out by the way she talks about not being able to have an “O”. I just wasn’t in the mood to read a book about a man with a magic penis who can “fix” a woman with a “broken” body. I gave up after three chapters.  

The Beast (Black Dagger Brotherhood 14) - [READ] After the disappointment of the Wallbanger, I decided to return to my old reliable and read the next book in the BDB series. I’ve said many times before that these books are pure trash, not least due to the inconsistent world building and slow erosion of distinct characters, BUT they’re my catnip! That said, I didn’t love the storyline of this book. I kinda hate when couples who had their happily ever after get resisted just so they can have kids. Unnecessary and annoying. 

The Chosen (Black Dagger Brotherhood 15) - [READ] Gods, I love the couple at the centre of this book and had such high hopes, but it was all a bit of a let down. There were some MAJOR side storylines that kind of distracted from the main romantic one, and many of the characters who I loved demonstrated really ugly aspects of their personality here, or in other cases, behaved in a way totally out of character for them - it was most strange. What also annoyed me is that the book was drama and angst all the way through until the last 15ish pages when BOOM all of it was magically solved without the couple really working through things or getting to see any happiness/resolution between them. It was more a case of “this thing happened so they’re going to be happy” rather than ever get to see them happy, which I think these characters really deserved.

The Thief (Black Dagger Brotherhood 16) - [READ] This is Assails and Solas book, a couple who, admittedly, when they first appeared in a previous, I skimmed over their chapters. However, overtime I came to really love Assail. This book was honestly just okay, but unlike in previous books in this series when a vampire falls in love with a human, there is some unbelievably wild (and worldly inconsistent) way for them to become immortal and stay with their loved one. That didn’t happen in this book, and I’m not sure if I liked that ending or not. 

A Warlord Wants Forever (Immortals After Dark .5) - [DNF] This book series was suggested to me as in a similar vein to ACOTAR/those who enjoyed SJM might enjoy this series. Let me tell you, IT WAS NOTHING like SJM’s writing. The storyline was poor, the stakes appeared unclear and inconsequential, but the biggest issue that I had with it was that it was seriously rapey. Not what I want in a romance at all. It was only a short novella so I persevered, but I will not be continuing with this series. 

January

Ahead of the release of A Court of Silver Flames in mid February, I want to do an ACOTAR series reread (I spend so much time in Tumblr I almost forgot what is on the very page and what is comments/criticisms from the fandom!) I don’t know how long a total reread will take me but I plan to start around mid January, to be done just in time for ACOSF. 

A Court of Thorns and Roses - [TO REREAD] 

A Court of Wings and Ruin - [TO REREAD]

A Court of Mist and Fury - [TO REREAD]

February

A Court of Frost and Starlight - [TO REREAD]

A Court of Silver Flames - [TO READ]

[originofjaehyun]

Prelude: After Story | Part 3 | Make Your Day

Prelude: After Story Masterlist

Word count: 4,330

Warnings: Suggestive

Part 3 | Make Your Day

“Just by your existence, you already shine radiantly like this.”

Prev

Read Interlude: No More Drama

Tag list: @justineasian​ @elauniesdream

A/N: I started Interlude: No More Drama series back in March, and I never knew that the series would go this far. Prelude: After Story is a mini-sequel that I actually didn’t plan –since I started to write Interlude during the Neozone era and I didn’t know how they would bring the repackage album, but truthfully I’m very proud of where it is. I think it is quite interesting to see things from Yuta’s POV! 

I hope you’re not bored at this, but I wish I could convey my gratitude better. I already wrote my thank you during the end of Interlude, but I’d like to say thanks again. Really, receiving warm messages especially during the current world situation does brighten up my day. So I hope that my writings could help to entertain you, to make your day (no puns intended hahaha).

This marks the end of Interlude: No More Drama and Prelude: After Story series! I personally think this is a milestone for me as a writer (especially this is one of my first published work). In the future, I would probably go cringe when I re-read this when I’m able to write a better story, but nevertheless this is the first stepping stone and it doesn’t change the fact that I will always feel proud of this. I really like how the story unfolds and how the character develops, and I think this is the perfect closure to end the series.

Thank you for loving them, and enjoying the ride with the characters!

Much love,

Dee

The same reaction, always, whenever Yuta received a guest.

You took a moment to admire his house. It’s late, but after stepping inside, you are greeted with the large window –displaying the amazing view of the cityscape.

He took off his suit, throwing it to the armchair. “Please be comfortable. Sorry for the sudden invitation, I realized I might be slightly pushy now that I've started to sober up. I can’t believe I let a woman drive me home.”

You giggled softly. “Please, gender shouldn’t prevent you from driving safely. Anyway, you have a very nice place.”

He scoffed. “It’s humble, but I like this place. The view is very charming from here. Well, sit down, I’ll grab our glasses and some ice.”

Of course, his apartment is anything but humble. You quickly scanned the room as you make your way to where he pointed his couch is. There are weird ornaments as a part of the house decorations here and there, like a vase with Japanese ceramic technique with a single dark crimson rose and few decorations of octopuses —you never knew how those could blend in together. Nevertheless, it has its own charm and the place screams his personality.

“Here,” He passes you a glass that is filled with caramel-colored liquid. The sound of the ice touching the glass snaps you from your daydream. “It’s Hibiki 12. I hope you don’t mind whiskey?”

You accepted the glass with both of your hands. “I’m good with anything. Out of curiosity though, do you always have a Japanese liquor on hand?”

A wide grin appears on his face, showcasing the perfectly aligned teeth. “To be precise, I always have Hibiki around because they are easier to drink. I managed to snatch a bottle of champagne and bourbon, though. Do you prefer those instead?”

“Would never refuse an invitation for a bottle of good quality champagne.”

“Seems like you’re a heavy drinker, Miss. I must say I think I’m pretty good at handling my alcohol, but I want to make sure there’s no accident tonight.”

You slightly flinched at his last sentence but managed to control your expression.

“Ah, I think just normal? I could manage if we could keep the pace slow –though I’m pretty sure that’s not what you wanted tonight.”

Yuta smirked, taking a seat on the floor across you. You followed him, taking a seat near him since it would be rude for you to remain seated on the couch while the house owner is being casual and sitting on the floor.

“Actually, not really.” He said while twirling his class, taking another sip. “I was thinking of taking it slow tonight.”

You shifted your stare to see him. “Is that so.”

While you thought it was quite careless for him to invite a stranger –technically you are up until the car ride where you briefly introduce each other– to his house, you’re not the one to talk since you also waltzed into his apartment without any second thoughts.

Both of you don’t mind the silence, as he continues to spin his middle finger around the rim of his glass. Either the alcohol starts to kick in, or he is consumed by his own thoughts. His cheeks start to flushed like cherry blossoms, and his mind is in a daze.

“I–” Yuta finally breaks the silence. “Was thinking a lot about my own feelings. On the contrary to my look, I think I’m actually the type of person who feels a lot. Most of the time I decide things based on my feelings.”

You didn’t respond, so there’s a momentary pause before he bridges his story together. You didn’t respond because you didn’t pay him any attention, but you just feel like right now what he needs is to let out his feelings, bare to the table.

“When I received my invitation, I feel like the ground below my feet shattered. But at the same time, it would be rude of me to reject it when she was so excited about her wedding. I was thinking how could this person be so dense to invite me that are still wallowing in sorrow?”

You took another sip of your whiskey, keeping your mouth shut while listening to his story.

“As I entered the venue today, each and every of my step seems harder. Like, I was regretting saying yes to her invitation.”

He then looked down at his almost empty glass. “Then I saw her face. And it feels like... all the answers that I’ve been looking for was there. That today was the day where I truly feel thankful that I made that decision. I’m glad she looked happy,”

He took another sip, finishing whatever left on his glass. “I’m glad that I could end this and make it into a proper memory.”

There it is.

The man in front of you smiled when he reached the end of his sentence. But you can see how that smile was wrapped in sadness.

You know by the way he talks, he is a man full of passion. His directness that is sometimes always too spontaneous. But it’s not the blazing-type of passion. Maybe because of his past, there’s always a trail of woe that surrounds him. That keeps him from burning his surroundings.

Like a blue flame.

“I’m sorry, it must be weird to suddenly listen to my sad story,” He said as he rises up. “Let me refill your glass. Should we take other liquor? I was thinking of switching it up to wine. I didn’t lie when I said there’s no more regret, but in order for me to truly accept it, I guess I kinda need to feel my feelings? I need something to dull the pain.”

“I thought you only stole bourbon and champagne?”

“You can’t call it a Nakamoto residence without a vast amount of alcohol gallery, you know?”

Finally, a hint of delight starts to replace the somber mood. “Again, I’m a guest so I’ll take anything. For your reference, though, I’m more of a red wine person.”

He curls his lips upwards, chiseling his well-structured cheekbones, “Got it. Also, please be more comfortable. I’m the one who suddenly invites you, after all.”

As he walks toward his wine fridge, you reactively rise up, about to offer your help. You’ve been sitting on your feet for quite a while, and your legs are definitely not ready for the sudden movement. You almost slip to the ground, but as if it was a shoujo manga, Yuta manages to catch you.

“Careful!” He said as he holds your upper arm, preventing you from falling.

It feels like the universe planned this all along, as cliche as it might sound.

You get to see his face, up close. The way his eyes pull you in, glistening from the alcohol that he had consumed.

It would be a lie if you told him that you’re not attracted. How could you not? The man in front of you is obviously good looking, but his demeanor, the way his voice travels through the air.

It was all just too alluring.

You avoided of the what-could-have-happened-next scenario by breaking the eye contact, looking away. It is a different case for Yuta. Because the sight of your neck, now burning in the vibrant pink flush is like an open invitation for him.

And he is not Yuta if he is not a decisive person.

He leans in, giving you a soft kiss on the lips. A kiss you didn’t see coming, but most definitely sending electrifying feels to your spine. A kiss that is mixed with the bitterness from alcohol. Yet Hibiki is sweet, so you long for more, kissing him back in the process.

The kiss that was started gently, suddenly rises up as both of you wanting for more. He dives in, checking if you felt the same way. You reciprocated, biting his lower lips. Asking him to pace up the speed.

You thought he would gladly eat you. To your disappointment, however, he separates his lips from yours.

“Are you fine with this?”

His whispers are gentle, yet able to give you goosebumps. He knows, that even under influence he should earn your consent before moving on to the next step. That surprises you because you thought the alcohol would turn him into a beast. But Yuta remains as a gentleman.

So you shyly give him a nod of approval, much to gain his wonderful smile. He leans forward to kiss you, but this time in a much more aggressive manner.

As he trails his lips to your neck, soft moans escape from your lips.

“Wait,” You stopped him half-way, which he only responded with a confused face. “Can we, uhm, perhaps move somewhere else? I… never done this… so I don’t know if I’m doing this right,”

Seeing how nervous you are, and the way you panicked over this, Yuta couldn’t help to chuckle softly. 

“Of course, that is rude of me,” He kissed your temple, followed by gentle strokes on your head. 

“Come.”

He stands up, offering his hand in which you immediately accept. He guides you to his room. His room didn’t shy away from being loud, some might even perceive it as odd since he opts to choose eccentric pieces to decorate his sanctuary. But everything seems to mesh well together with his plain beige wallpaper. There are a few unfinished canvases at the corner, most notably a painting of roses.

You were busy admiring his room to realize that he was waiting for you at the corner of his bed. Arms wide open ready to embrace you.

You giggled at the scene, but then you remember that you fall into his arms means it won’t stop at just there.

“Can I... use your bathroom first?”

You can feel the heat collecting on your cheek. You were embarrassed to ask such a question, but Yuta understands where you are coming from in a heartbeat, and you are glad for that.

“Please,” He said, gesturing to you to find his bathroom. “But once you’re done, we’re not stopping, yeah? I think I’ve been good for being patient, don’t you think?”

You smiled at his remarks. “I’ll be quick.”

You practically skipped your way to the bathroom. You checked yourself, at least making sure you smell pleasant. Then before leaving the bathroom door, you took your time in front of the sink. Contemplating with yourself in the mirror.

You are about to fuck Yuta.

The words repeated inside your head but soon vanished at the sight of a foreign object. Not that you are used to his apartment, but everything in his apartment was coated with his character, except this dainty jewelry.

It was a delicate, simple rose gold earrings. You noticed that Yuta rocks multiple piercings on both of his ears. But none are this delicate. It seems these were too plain for his liking.

Who am I to judge?

You said to yourself. You literally just know this man tonight and you’d be damned to judge his taste. Who knows, maybe he has those days where he wants to lay low. Whenever he’s going to meet his clients, perhaps? But you feel like keeping such delicate pieces in the bathroom has a potential of him losing it, so you call him out.

“Yuta?”

He hummed as a form of reply.

“You shouldn’t keep your earrings near the sink, you know. You might wash them away by accident.”

Suddenly you can hear his footsteps, rushing. You didn’t lock the door and you are glad that you didn’t because he would probably break the door open. He rushed to grab the pair of earrings, and the color on his face fades away. The smile that once appeared on his face was no longer there.

This gains your confusion. What does a rose gold earring mean to him that he had to act this way?

A rose gold earring.

A painting of roses.

A single rose that was fresh, as if it was treated with the utmost care.

Then you remember that the sight of a rose is definitely not a stranger for you, especially the last three days.

You decorated the hall with roses.

The couple carefully selected the specific color of the roses, making the last few weeks like a nightmare looking out for the vendors.

Of course, you even arranged her bouquet with roses.

“Ah, I just like roses,” She said to you when you asked why she picked roses as one of the main flowers. “As cliché as it might sound, I think roses are one of the most stunning flowers out there. They’re beautiful but surrounded by their thorns so you got to treat them gently unless you want them to prick you. Also, I think it’s because of the roses that we’re back together.”

“Did we?” Her fiancé finally looked at her after busy playing with the ring on her fingers.

“Don’t you dare to forget you add water to my shower gel.”

You could remember the laughter vividly in your head, but the last thing that you would want right now is to laugh. 

“I get it.” You tried to act though, but there’s a crack in your voice. “I get that you just told me you were trying to forget about her a few minutes ago.”

You can feel like your vision is about to start to blur, but you took a deep breath to prevent a single tear to drop.

“I’d like to blame it on the alcohol, but I guess I’m at fault too.”

Was it the way he always smiled so brilliantly? His weird and odd taste that makes you furrow your brows the moment you step into his place? The way he comes to your shop every week to buy fresh flowers and look at them so lovingly?

Perhaps, because he could enter your heart so easily. Who knows, you might have already fallen for him the moment he requested for roses the first time you met him.

You get that you only get along well, and what are the chances that these things happen so smoothly? You’re not a princess out of a Disney movie.

He evidently holds the pair of earrings so dearly, and even though you’re not the type of person who puts your feelings on your sleeve, it is inevitable that you felt the sharp pain on your chest.

“I never do this, Yuta. And I don’t plan on doing these things, if that someone doesn’t think about me at this very moment.”

Your words startled him, and before he could speak up, you gave him your last words. “Please, don’t ever take this so lightly, especially to me.”

You walked past him, grabbing your belongings in the living room before walking outside. You are glad Yuta didn’t chase you, because it would hurt your pride if he knows that you cried a river when you walk your way to your car.

--

It’s nearly a week since you closed your flower shop. This is your business and to be frank you are still upset about what happened after the wedding party. The newlyweds paid a hefty amount of money so you can survive a bit without operating. Though, this small shop that is also connected to your home upstairs will need to open soon in order for you to be able to pay your bills. Furthermore, your love for flowers is far too great for you to leave them without any attention. 

You closed your shop, telling your customers (especially your regulars) and putting a sign in front of the shop that you will be back after a week of break. You also told Mark that he wouldn’t need to come. He accepted it without pressing for further questions, but it’s so like Mark to make sure you’re alright.

“I’m fine, really. You don’t need to pay for my shift this week either.”

“Are you sure? I was thinking I could give you half of it.”

“No, I wouldn’t feel good taking money without putting any effort into it. But most importantly, you sure you’re fine, Noona?”

You sighed in relief, glad that Mark is well-raised and how he always cares about the people around him. “I’m fine, Mark. I think the wedding frenzy got the best of me, so I was thinking of having a short break so I could have a fresh start.”

“Well, it was overwhelming, not gonna lie,” Mark said as he recalled how he helped you prepare for his brother’s and new sis wedding. “I guess if you say so. Please if there’s anything I could do to help, let me know Noona.”

You replied with a simple yes, throwing your phone to the bed after you ended the call.

The past week, all you’ve been doing is to wake up early in the morning, tend the flowers, eat your breakfast, and go straight to nap. It’s a bad habit, yes, but that is how you cope with sadness.

Sad? Am I entitled to feel so?

You only know Yuta briefly, he is a regular. The fact that you know that he’s a Japanese before he told you so is probably trivial to him.

“We’re out of camellias, I’m terribly sorry sir.”

“Do you know when the next batch will come?”

“Unfortunately camellias are not in season, so it will take a while for us to restock it.”

He sighed, then he looked at his wristwatch. It seems like he doesn’t have that much time to browse the catalog.

“Is there a reason why you’re looking for camellias?”

“Ah, not really. It reminds me of home. I just came back from there last week. I thought of getting roses, but I changed my mind.”

“Home?”

“Oh, sorry. I wasn’t from here. I’m a Japanese, you see.”

“Oh! I didn’t notice.”

He shyly scratched the back of his head, still not used to people complimenting his bilingual ability. You find his reaction charming, unconsciously giggling at it.

“Then, sir, I assume you’re in a hurry. May I give you a suggestion?”

“How do you know I was in a hurry?”

“Well it was easy since you immediately asked for camellia and looked at your watch the moment I told you we don’t have one.”

He lets out a smile. A smile so warm that sunflowers might face toward his direction immediately. “Indeed, I have to meet someone this evening. So your help will actually good for my favor. I was thinking of buying flowers for my dining table, do you have any suggestions?”

Now it’s your turn to smile. “I think buttercups would be perfect.”

—

Yuta has been thinking a lot about what happened last Saturday.

Especially how he should talk to her.

It’s easy to spot her store, Yuta and Doyoung practically passed by it every single morning on their way to the office. The sun hits the flower store perfectly. Not too harsh, just a bask of the golden ray. Usually, he would see how the beautifully bloomed flowers were displayed on the store windows. But it’s already day six and the store shows no sign of operations.

He reads the announcement board in front of the store; “Paradise will be closed for an inventory check. We will be back to serve you next week!”

He feels dejected. Yuta couldn’t just ask Mark for her number, that would have raised so many questions. Yes, Yuta kissed her, but was their relationship that close for him to ask for her number? The fact that both of them are not sober is also a part of Yuta’s concern.

So instead, Yuta planned to visit the florist (especially since he’s been skipping buying flowers for a week —his vase longed to be filled with any arrangement) as an excuse to meet her. But now he even lost that very reason.

He was about to step away before a tune leaked out from the front door.

Someone is here.

Without hesitation, Yuta knocked on the front door. The one inside, however, did not expect any visitor. Yuta can hear how the person inside scrambles their way to open the door.

“Yes?”

She lets out a professional smile, and it fades almost instantly as soon as she sees Yuta standing in front of her door.

“Hi.”

“Yuta!” She closes her mouth, surprised that she shrieked. “Uhm, I… didn’t expect you to come. But our store is currently close, so if you’re looking for flowers, unfortunately we—“

“I want to talk to you.”

Again, it’s so very Yuta to cut to the chase.

“I want to clarify a few things.”

She finally looked at him. She tried to remain calm, keeping the expressionless upfront. But Yuta could see how her pupils were quivering. She was trying to be brave.

“I’d like to apologize for three things. One, the way I reacted at that time. It was only mere minutes after I said that I’m truly happy for her. As a human being, don’t you think it’s understandable that I reacted that way?”

She nods but remained silent.

“I’m typically an extrovert, but I’m very territorial with my personal space, and I let her go beyond the lines that I created. In a way, she is precious to me.”

This time, she didn’t respond.

“And she would probably always be. But that doesn’t mean I could only have one precious person in my life.”

She furrowed her brows, and Yuta smirked as he continued.

“After that night, I think a lot about my feelings. How I truly felt.” He scratches the back of his head that is not itchy, but because it takes a lot for Yuta to bare his feelings like this while being sober.

“And the answer remains the same. I genuinely feel happy for her. So I thought, it would only be right to properly keep everything away, little by little instead of throwing it away out of anger. Forcing myself to move on from her. Because I, too believe –as narcissistic as this might sound, that I was a part of a chapter in her life that she holds dear too. It might be slow progress, but I will get there, eventually.”

“Secondly, I apologize for not apologizing for kissing you that night. There is no regret, the attraction is mutual anyway.”

She tilted her head, before realizing what Yuta actually meant. “Wait, you knew?”

He chuckles. “Going back to Osaka was the turning point. Probably everything that I need. It forces me to start fresh, exactly like what I did when I first set foot in this country. It let me accept that I’m actually the type of person who feels a lot. Like how I admit that I’m hopelessly romantic.”

The cold atmosphere starts to melt away, with the addition of the sun seeps in between the leaves on the nearby tree.

“So afterward I’ve been looking into subjects that I never knew I would be interested in, for example, flower languages. Might be the very first reason why I came to receive buttercups from this place.”

“So what you said…”

“Well, I guess I can say my third and last apology. I’m sorry that I am a hopeless romantic kind of guy. I’m very direct, people often told me that I intimidate them sometimes just by doing nothing. But it is just my outer shell. I might not be as strong as the way people view me. Now that you know, it might put you off, huh.”

She finally laughs, “Yuta, I am a florist. This is my field.”

As if her laugh is contagious, Yuta too, unconsciously smiling back.

“I guess, it’s been quite a journey. At least for me. Maybe I’m the one who holds onto the feelings, thinking that I should hold into it for as long as I could possibly can. But life doesn’t work that way, you know? And probably the time you gave me daffodils is one of the signs, too. I just brushed them off because of my stubbornness.”

“Maybe, just maybe, I want to start seeing life as it is. To enjoy the present. To enjoy life as moments. To experience the wonderful charm of its magic. One of the magical moments started here, and I love to cherish them while the magic is still here. In fact, it’s been a long time since things are going smoothly for me. So if I can be ever so selfish, would you let me?”

She was stunned by his remarks. Eyes blinking rapidly, completely unprepared for his sudden proposal.

Yuta had expected it. It’s barely a week, and to receive this kind of confession —although not necessarily a boyfriend-girlfriend confession— from a man who just told you his grief can be confusing.

The confused face started to fade, and she left without replying to a single word. 

Yuta thought she rejected him, asking him to leave the shop.

Well, you deserve this, Nakamoto.

As he was about to walk away, she came back with anthuriums on her hand. Taking a moment to catch for her breath as she was rushing to grab these flowers.

“This is?”

“You don’t want an answer?”

He shook his head. “It’s not that. I mean, yes I told you I’ve been learning about flower languages but it’s mostly from Google, and I can’t possibly remember the meaning of every single flower?”

“I can.”

“You are a florist, my dear.”

She laughed lightly, a tone that was like jiggles of bells to Yuta’s ears.

“Can you move closer? I want to whisper these words to you.”

Yuta motioned to her immediately, obediently following her request. As her lips almost touch his ear, Yuta can feel his blood rushing to his ears.

She said, gently to his ears. “I hope you’ll be happy today.”