#proud of myself for making it to day 9!
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slavetomyheadcanon · 8 months ago
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Sometimes the best way to learn a raid is to clown around repeatedly
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runefactorynonsense · 1 year ago
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Cozytober - Day 30 - Campfire
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daddy-long-legssss · 4 months ago
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me after three days of in-person meetings and team-building activities.
#i understand her completely#that is the face i made this morning at 7:30 and i got up once again to leave my house before 9 am to be social#i am an empty dried husk.#i am a mango seed when you suck all the pulp and fruit off it#it was really nice to see my coworkers cause i work remotely (which is a true blessing)#and i was very proud of myself cause i didnt feel any anxiety going to a work social event/day like I have in the past#it was actually enjoying to interact with people and be social and FLEX those skills that I don’t often get to use#and as much as I like to be a curmudgeon half the time and be like ‘idgaf about what you did this weekend Karen’ you gotta make conversation#there was even someone cute who I hadn’t met before#my grandma and I had a conversation the other day and she’s like ‘so are you dating?’ and I’m like ‘grandma where will I meet a man?’#and she was like ‘you’re right. where would you meet someone nowadays? people usually meet through work#but I work virtually and half the people are married or not cute! but there was a guy in my assigned group who was cute#so I went out of my way to make conversation with him (it was about work and nothing came from that interaction) BUT STILL#it’s a good reminder I *can* have those interactions if I so choose#I was also ovulating though so I think I moving with more hunger shall we say#anyways#i am very very very tired and socially burnt out#i need to go for a long walk. smoke some weed. read fanfic. get off and go to bed. that is my main focus for the rest of the day#thank FUCK it’s friday tomorrow.
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girlwithrituals · 5 months ago
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101 ways to improve self esteem
1) Master a new skill.
2) List your accomplishments.
3) Do something creative.
4) Challenge your limiting beliefs.
5) Talk to a counselor.
6) Don't worry about what others think.
7) Read or watch something inspirational.
8) Stay true to your character.
9) Let go of negative people.
10) Set healthy boundaries with others.
11) Care about your appearance.
12) Welcome failure as part of growth.
13) Be a lifelong learner.
14) Face your fears.
15) Become a mentor.
16) Accept compliments.
17) Eliminate self-criticism.
18) Practice coping skills to manage stress and big emotions.
19) Notice negative thoughts and beliefs.
20) Challenge negative thinking.
21) Think about what you learned from negative experiences.
22) Practice gratitude.
23) Exercise.
24) Eat healthy and limit junk food.
25) Get good sleep.
26) Spend time with positive and supportive people.
27) Encourage yourself.
28) Write a list of your strengths.
29) Don't compare yourself to others.
30) Avoid perfectionism.
31) Do at least one positive, enjoyable activity every day.
32) Celebrate small victories.
33) Be helpful and considerate to others.
34) Be honest with yourself and others.
35) Accept your flaws.
36) Don't give up.
37) Practice self-care.
38) Go easy on yourself.
39) Practice being assertive.
40) Practice saying "No".
41) Practice relaxation techniques.
42) Take on challenges.
43) Volunteer to help others.
44) Forgive others and yourself.
45) Set goals and work toward them step by step.
46) Seek balance in all areas of your life.
47) Discover your passions and purpose
48) Groom yourself.
49) Dress nicely.
50) Be kind and generous to others.
51) Practice good posture.
52) Change a small habit.
53) Smile.
54) Don't procrastinate.
55) Don't take things personal.
56) Organize your personal space.
57) Challenge unkind thoughts about yourself.
58) Spend time outside.
59) Notice the good things.
60) Celebrate your successes
61) Write a list of things you like about yourself.
62) Don't take too much on.
63) Do something for yourself every day.
64) Develop daily habits.
65) Remind yourself it's okay if not everyone likes you.
66) Practice mindfulness.
67) Learn to tolerate discomfort.
68) Use problem-solving skills.
69) Take responsibility instead of blaming.
Tell Yourself Positive Affirmations Such As:
70) I am grateful for every day.
71) I am worthy of happiness and love.
72) I am in charge of my own happiness.
73) I love, respect, and believe in myself.
74) I deserve to be happy and successful.
75) I approve of myself, right here and now.
76) I am learning and changing for the better.
77) I accept 100% responsibility for my own life.
78) Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.
79) I can learn to accept the parts of myself that I don't like.
80) I am thankful for my challenges as they make me a stronger person.
81) Write down three positives about each day.
82) Make a collage with your talents, goals, and dreams.
83) Practice laughing.
84) Be proud of yourself.
85) Say mistakes are an opportunity to learn.
86) Show respect to yourself and others.
87) Resolve conflict peacefully.
88) Ask for help or support.
89) Complete a daily task list.
90) Have a growth mindset.
91) Be optimistic.
92) Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.
93) Focus on the things you have control over and can change.
94) Get started on tasks you have been putting off.
95) Practice good daily hygiene.
96) Focus on solutions not problems.
97) Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.
98) Drink plenty of water.
99) Start a new hobby or join a club/sport.
100) Do random acts of kindness.
101) Create a dreams list.
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mountainsandmayhem · 28 days ago
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BDSMaid - Chapter 9
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Series Summary: In order to save money for law school, you accept a job working as a maid for high end clients. You aren’t supposed to know whose home you’re cleaning, but your curiosity is peaked by your first client, and when the two of you have a shocking and surprising run in more than just your curiosity peaks.  Word Count: 5k CW: see small red lettering below the cut AN: I'm going to miss them!! I'm absolutely heartbroken that I'm done, but so fucking proud of myself for what I've created. Thank you to @lotusbxtch for being my beta from pretty much the very beginning. I am so grateful to you and so honoured (yes, with a u because I'm Canadian lol) to call you my friend. Also little shoutouts to @for-a-longlongtime, @alltheirdamn, @mermaidgirl30 and @littlevenicebitch69 for listening to me go on about them for 80% of 2024. As always, graphics and dividers by @saradika-graphics
My Masterlist || Series Masterlist
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TW: unprotected p in v, one spank, multiple orgasms and Overstim hinted at, pining, heartbreak
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Eight Months Later
Joel
“I got yelled at by a feisty brunette last night at that gala,” Tommy says as the two of them sip whiskey at the bar of the club. 
“Probably deserved it.” Joel deadpans and closes the folder of invoices he’s looking over.
He should be doing this in his fancy, and newly renovated, office across the street. He was in the large office for all of three minutes the day after you left when he could only see the ghost of you. From the chair you sat in when you first asked him to teach you how to be a sub, to the door he pinned you against and confessed how out of his mind he was over you, everything was you, and it had to go if he had any chance of following what you needed from him. Joel hasn’t even been in his room at the club out of the fear of what it would do to him. Would I still be able to smell the lavender of her shampoo in there? Still be able to hear her beautiful cries of pleasure and pain bouncing off the walls?
“She thought I was you,” Tommy says, glancing over at his brother and interrupting Joel’s impending spiral.
Joel sighs, slipping his reading glasses from his face before taking a long pull of the amber liquor from his crystal glass. Tommy looks straight ahead as he continues.
“She’s doing great, by the way. Or at least that’s what her friend said when she was scolding me.”
 Joel winces at his words, “Of course she is, Tommy.” Even though it's been almost a year since you left, just the mention of you rips his barely-mended heart back in half. It doesn’t seem to matter how much time passes, he still feels like he did in his kitchen. 
The very fibers of his being ache just as hard for you now as they did then. He longs to see you and touch you, to feel your warm, soft skin under his hands again. Anyone before you was always, ‘Yes, Mister Miller,’ even when they weren’t in a scene; but not you. You weren’t afraid to be curious and unapologetically yourself. He hasn’t laughed as hard with anyone, including Tiffany, as he did with you. But the part that he misses the most is the way you look at him the first time you see him. Your eyes soften, velvety pink lips parting slightly before they curl into a smile that makes his heart hammer behind his ribs. Then, he watches your shoulders relax and it makes him feel like he hung the moon and stars for you, and if he could have, he would have.  
He clears his throat and then rasps, “She’s too smart to not be doing well.”
Tommy stands, bringing his hands to rub at Joel's shoulders. He squeezes his tense deltoid muscles and with a hint of mischief in his voice he says, “Lots of pretty girls here tonight if you feel like moving on.”
Joel shakes his head and pulls away from Tommy’s grasp with a grunt. “Never gonna happen. Get outta here before you get yelled at two nights in a row.”
“Just too bad for me that you aren’t a hot brunette,” Tommy says with a laugh.
“I have brown hair,” Joel replies defensively, running his fingers through the grown out curls. 
“Not to kick you when you’re down, but it’s mostly grey at this point.”
Joel holds up a single finger at Tommy over his shoulder as he laughs and walks away. 
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Two and a half years later
You
You’ve been up to your eyeballs in studying as you prepare for your finals. These last few years in California have been the hardest yet most fulfilling time of your life. Two nights in a row now, you’ve fallen asleep in the library, only waking when your Spotify would switch from the white noise playlist you use to help you focus, to your “getting ready” playlist. After dragging yourself to your dorm room in the dead of the night, you’d get a few restless hours of sleep before heading right back to your favourite studying spot. You can’t believe that in just a few short weeks you’ll be graduating and stepping into the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself.
The unmistakable FaceTime jingle fills your AirPods. Jamie’s name is splayed across the screen of your phone, along with a photo of the two of you at Albany Beach when she visited this past Christmas break. You put your highlighter down and slide the answer toggle over. 
“Hey!” She says, her warm smile shining up at you. You squint, trying to place where she is. You don’t often let yourself think of Joel, but the cracks across your screen make FaceTiming difficult, and the selfish side of you always wishes you had grabbed that new phone before you left. Your head cocks to the side; broken screen or not, you don’t recognize the background.
“Where are you?” You ask.
“Oh, I’m good, thanks. How are you?” She jests with a mocking eye roll.  “I’m at a cabin.”
“What cabin?” You say, glaring at her jokingly. A deep laugh comes from the otherside of the phone and your eyes widen. “Who’s that?”
The man's voice comes from offscreen, “I can’t believe you thought she wouldn’t ask where you were. She’s going to be a lawyer, for god's sake.”
“Jamie, who is that? What is going on here? Blink twice if you need rescuing!” You joke. 
Jamie blushes, looking over the phone at whoever that voice is coming from. “I just wanted to call to see how the studying is going, and to let you know that I got the graduation tickets.”
A glass of white wine appears in front of Jamie and she smiles before puckering her lips in a kissing motion towards the man in the room with her. “Ok, seriously, who the fuck is that and where are you?”
“I was also calling to let you know that Laren can’t make it anymore and Odette is in New York,” she takes a small sip of her wine.
“Oh, well that’s ok,” you say, trying to squash the disappointment and hoping it doesn’t show in your voice or face. You wished that at least two of your three best friends would be there for you. “It can just be me and you, baby!” 
“Well…I’m wondering if I could maybe bring my boyfriend? Might be a good opportunity for you two to meet.”
“What? What boyfriend?” You say, officially abandoning all study materials until you get some answers. Jamie raises a perfectly manicured finger and calls the mystery man over. 
You swallow hard as Tommy Miller appears beside her. 
Jamie glances up at him, her bright green eyes full of admiration, his mirroring hers. The starry look in their eyes tells you everything you need to know; they’re so far gone for that even a search and rescue team wouldn’t be able to save them. She looks back at you. “Meet again, I guess.”
You try to push for answers, but either of them give in, claiming you need to focus on finals. Before you hang up, Jamie promises to tell you the entire story when you see each other next. You’re happy for your friend, especially seeing the way Tommy looked back at her. Even through your cracked screen you could see the love, but as you try to go back to studying you have a hollow feeling in your stomach.
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Graduation Day
You
The late afternoon sun fills your dorm room, boxes of your belongings stacked haphazardly around you. After walking the stage tonight, you are going out to dinner with Jamie and Tommy, and then he has paid for a hotel suite so the two of you can have a girls’ night. You can’t wait to hear how Tommy went from, in Jamie’s previous words, “my dad’s new asshole friend” to her boyfriend. 
You step in front of your floor length mirror, zipping up the black graduation gown over your knee length, form fitting, deep emerald velvet dress. The California sun has been good to you, your tanned legs and sunkissed nose and cheeks are glowing. You place your blue and yellow Berkeley Law stole over your head and then grab your cap, ensuring the ‘Class of ‘28�� tassel is secure. You fluff your curls one last time as a light knock comes from your door. 
“Ready to graduate, gorgeous?” Ronan smiles at you, eyes trailing down your gown. He’s the type of handsome that’s almost painful to look at, but more importantly - you wouldn’t have made it through these last three years without him. You met the first day - the lock on your door wasn’t working, and he waltzed in on you half naked when he mistook your room as his. 
You smile at him in your doorway now; remembering the way you screamed at him that first time, trying to cover your chest, and him scrambling to close the door. His eyes were clamped shut, and he slammed his finger so hard that you had to take him for stitches. Now, several years later, he fills out his graduation gown perfectly with those wide rugby shoulders, a sight you couldn’t even have imagined back then. Whichever angel made him didn’t make a single mistake - he’s tall and insanely broad, with dark sandy blonde hair, and clover green eyes that in the right light are a golden hazel. He’s easily one of the smartest men you’ve ever met and an incredible athlete. The cherry on top, because of course there’s more: he’s an international student and has a panty-melting Irish accent. 
“Beyond ready. Let's become lawyers, babe.”
He steps aside, one arm out in a ‘ladies first’ gesture. Handsome, charming, and thoughtful - a dangerous trifecta. You slide your hand in the crook of his muscle-lined arm and walk across campus together.
Ronan jerks his head towards the coffee cart. “Remember when you spilled your entire coffee on your new puffer jacket?”
You glare up at him, you saved for weeks to buy that jacket. “No, but I remember you throwing up in that trash can after the Halloween party last year.” 
“Well, if Beach Party Barbie had helped Lifeguard Ken with all those shots we wouldn’t have had that problem, would we?” You laugh as Ronan puffs out his chest, but you both know he was more than willing to take your half of the ‘Best Couples Costume' shots. 
Finally, you reach the courtyard where the law students will be walking across a stage that acts as the symbolic bridge to the rest of their lives. I’m a lawyer, you think to yourself and try to force a smile. The magnitude of the day only really starts to sink into your bones as you see the friends and families of your classmates start to take their seats. The excited feeling you had earlier starts to morph. You’re proud of yourself for what you’ve done these last three years, and this was just the first step. You have so much to look forward to, so why do you feel a sense of dread building in the pit of your stomach? 
Ronan walks you to where you need to line up alphabetically, kissing your cheek and then, after leaning in and placing his large hand on your lower back, he whispers a joke about how you better not trip. You glance around the thick crowd for Jamie and Tommy. After realizing it’s hopeless to try and spot them in a group this large, you slip your cap over your hair and get in the procession line. 
You try to soak in every minute of the day, from the speeches to the birds chirping in the background, but something akin to loss flutters at the base of your spine. You’re just as sad to be leaving Berkely as you are excited to carve out your future. Leaving here isn’t what’s causing you to feel this way, however. You try to tell yourself that maybe it’s just nerves; even with all the job offers coming in from your internships, it’s normal to be nervous about what comes next. 
As the student union president gives his toast to the family and friends, you look down at your lap, pushing back the cuticle on your left thumb. Maybe it’s leaving Ronan. He’s been an anchor for you, grounding you almost every day of the last three years and you don’t know how you let yourself become this dependent on anyone, especially a man, again.  
You shake your head at yourself and try to move your focus to the cuticle on your other thumb. Seeing the skin clean from the nail bed eases the tension slightly for you. ‘I’m allowed to be nervous when leaning on people, but not everyone will leave me,’ you recite almost automatically in your mind, the mantra you’ve had these past few years whenever you feel yourself getting this anxious. Just as you finish the thought, a car revs in the distance and the realization of what - or who - you’re actually missing slams through you so hard that you almost feel winded. Your lungs ache, tears pushing behind your eyes as his name rings loudly through your mind.  
Joel.
You kept yourself busy since the minute you left Austin. The busier you were, the less time you had to focus on the void in your heart. During the school year, you didn’t have to find things to stay busy with; law school nearly chewed you up and spit you out. Over the summers, you worked as an intern and visited your friends. There was never a quiet moment, never too much time alone with your thoughts, and it was better this way. You can confidently say that you’d only thought of Joel six times since you walked out of his house that day: when you fell asleep on the beach and were so sunburnt you could barely move for three days; when you failed your first test; when your rusted SUV, that acted as your ticket to freedom at eighteen, died on the freeway in rush hour (from that point on you had to rely on public transportation to get you to the homes you cleaned). When you experienced your first earthquake; when you stayed up for forty-two hours straight after your partner in a group project didn’t have their side of the work done; and, lastly, this past New Year’s Eve when you were in Austin and thought you saw him at a party. 
“Is he here?”, that little box of feelings that you shut away in a vault long ago wonders. “Has anything changed for him in the last three years?” 
The small smile that pulls at your cheeks, and the excited flutter of your heart when you think about the possibility of seeing him again, proves that maybe nothing has changed for you. As the minutes tick by, your mind races with all the possible scenarios for after the ceremony. What if he is here? What will you say? What will he say? How will Ronan react, you know he has strong feelings about what happened between you and Joel. Even worse though, what if he’s not here? But maybe he’s at the hotel where Tommy and Jamie are staying?  
Before you know it, your row is standing and walking single file towards the stage. With each strike of your high-heeled strappy sandals against the concrete, a memory of Joel floods your system. The toast he made you in his kitchen, the kiss in that dimly lit hallway on your birthday, the way he walked you through his club and how calmly he talked about you being in charge before going into the voyeur room. The multitude of orgasms he gave you within the four walls of his private room. Him singing on the small stage of the dive bar you found, followed by him spanking you right there in the bathroom with his hand clamped to your face to keep you quiet. His strong hand grasping your thigh as he drove you to his house. The way he tasted on your tongue. The smell of his skin: all ash and leather, occasionally mixed with whiskey or mint. The feel of his body: hard, broad and hot. His shuddered breaths as he confessed so many things in so few words. 
‘It’s only you, sweet girl.’
‘Just call me Joel.’
‘I know, and I’m so proud of you, sweet girl.’
You carefully walk up the stairs, forcing the thoughts of Joel from your mind, just in time to hear your name announced as a graduate of Berkeley Law. You float across the stage, grabbing the piece of paper that acts as your degree until the real one comes, shaking the hand of the Dean who flips your tassel before you walk to the stairs on the other side; the stairs that symbolize the ending of your time here and the beginning of the rest of your life. 
As you reach the top of the steps, you look out into the audience and see Jamie. She pumps her fist in the air and before you can process the empty seat beside her, you feel it; a strong tug from behind your navel. It takes you less than a heartbeat to find him and the sight before you floods your body with a familiar warmth. Standing under a large tree at the edge of the audience, dressed in all black, and holding his Stetson hat to his heart, is Joel. For the first time in years you feel whole again.
 You keep your gaze on him, worried that if you so much as blink that he’ll be gone. You are supposed to follow your classmates, but you veer left, walking towards Joel. The closer you get, the more at ease you feel. He’s real, you think, he’s here. You stop a foot or so in front of him. 
“Hi, Freckles,” he whispers, his voice cracking slightly. His eyes dance around your face, almost as if he’s trying to memorize this moment. You can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling exactly how you are.   
“Hi, Sweet Cheeks,” you say, the same tremble in your voice, as you try desperately to hold it together. “You’re here.”
He nods and you give him a tight-lipped smile as your mind races. There’s so much you want to say, but now that he’s standing right there in front of you after three years, you don’t know where to start. 
Joel breaks the silence, jutting his chin in the direction of the other graduates as he says, “I saw you come in with your boyfriend. When I saw you kiss, I was going to leave, but I made you a promise.”
You knit your eyebrows together and take a step closer. “Boyfriend?”
“The man you walked over here with,” Joel says, his black Stetson sliding down the chest you so desperately want to touch as he drops his hands to his sides. He’s left no barriers between the two of you except the heartbreak that’s evident on his face. 
You laugh quietly, “No, he’s - that’s Ronan.”
Joel nods. “Okay.”
“He’s my friend,” you clarify, and when Joel’s face stays the same, you add, “And he’s still as gay as the day we first met!”
Joel lets out a whoosh of a breath and closes the distance between the two of you, his free hand comes to one of your curls, twirling the end of it around his thick fingers. Soft and silky meets rough and calloused. “I’m so proud of you, Freckles.”
You don’t miss how he watches your tongue dart between your lips, “Thank you.”
“So? How does it feel?” He gives you a soft crooked smile, his dimple carving into the short facial hair of his salt and pepper beard. Between that smile, and the way his brown eyes wash over you, you’re overcome with affection. He let you go. He did exactly as you asked him. He didn’t chase you or try to convince you to stay. You told him if he really loved you, then he’d do exactly this; and in turn, he did what he said he would. 
He showed up. 
“I love you,” you state and the air between you turns electric, almost like this moment could either set you both aflame or act as a generator for your future together. Joel gives you that look, the one that makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe. He lets the curled end of your hair slip from his fingers, reaching up towards your graduation cap but hesitating.
“May I?” He rasps and swallows hard.
You nod, and knowing exactly what he’s going for, you take the Stetson from his other hand and place it on your head after he removes your cap. The brim of it blocks out everything but the two of you.
“Say that again, sweet girl,” he murmurs.
“I love you,” it’s barely a whisper this time. “Even after three years apart, you are everything to me. I asked you to let me go so I could accomplish this, and you did. You’ve always done what I asked, what I needed. I’m not sorry for what happened between us, but I am sorry that I missed out on getting to spend the last three years with you looking at me how you are now. I love you, Joel Miller.”
He brings his lips within a breath of yours, and your body practically vibrates with the knowledge that if you leaned just a bit forward, you’d finally have his mouth on you again. You can almost taste the mint on his tongue as the familiar fragrance of ash and leather surround you. “I have dreamed of hearing those three words leave your beautiful lips more times than I can count, baby. You’re it for me. I’ll do anything for you, even if it means breaking my own heart, but I’m always going to be here for you, rooting for you and encouraging you. I’m glad you’re not sorry, because I’m not, I’m so fucking proud of you. I love you, too, my sweet girl.”
Finally, he presses his warm, firm lips against yours while pulling you tight to his body. You wrap an arm around his neck, holding the black cowboy hat against your head with your other hand. It doesn’t matter that the ceremony isn’t done, or that there are hundreds of people to your right. For the first time in three years, everything goes quiet. He hums contentedly and you feel yourself melt against him, tilting your head so he can deepen the kiss. He parts his lips, letting you take the first swipe of your tongue against his. Need floods your system, and based on the way he grinds into you, he’s feeling the same. 
He breaks the kiss, but doesn’t go far, resting his forehead against yours. “Take me home,” you practically purr.
“Where do you want home to be? I’ll go anywhere,” Joel rasps, running his nose down the bridge of yours. 
“Austin,” you respond, your breath catching as his lips ghost along the side of your mouth.
“I sold my portion of the club to Tommy and Tess. I don’t have anything holding me in Austin anymore, sweet girl. If you have a job offer you really want, that’s where we’ll go.” You pull back to look at him. You can tell by the set of his jaw that he’s serious. 
“I want to go to Austin. I have a job offer there.”
“Good thing I told Tommy not to touch my room at the club then.”
“That’s a very good thing,” you moan and then pull him in to kiss again. The audience behind you erupts into cheers, celebrating the accomplishments of every student in that crowd. 
You’re a lawyer, and suddenly, the future doesn’t seem so scary.
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Joel
Taking you home to Austin that night unfortunately wasn’t an option. After finding Jamie in the crowd, and being formally introduced to Ronan, he called the car to pick up the three of you. You all met Tommy at the restaurant, celebrating with all the expensive homemade pasta and overpriced wine that you wanted; even though seeing you in that curve-hugging velvet dress was slowly killing him. Joel had kept at least one hand on you since seeing you again, and he doesn’t plan on changing that anytime soon. 
He didn’t want to rush you on your big night, so he waited patiently, listening to you tell stories of your last three years, and revelling in the evident joy that you and Jamie share over being together again. When dessert comes around he catches Tommy’s attention and gives him a small smile. It’s fitting that the two brothers, who have been so close their entire lives, would fall in love with best friends. 
Once in his room, he spent two hours stripping you down at an almost painfully slow pace. He kissed every inch of your skin twice over and has pulled five orgasms, and counting, out of you so far. 
Now, Joel is seated in the wide velvet arm chair in the corner of his hotel suite. His cock is buried deep inside of your tight cunt as you straddle him. Your skin feels like butter under his hands as he trails them along your back and the globes of your perfect ass. He’s missed tying you up, but this is what he longed for: the earth shattering intimacy he feels with you in these moments.   
“Please,” you mumble into his neck, desperate to move your hips.
“Not until you answer me,” he demands softly. “How many times was it that you needed me, but were too stubborn to reach out?”
Earlier tonight you told him about the six times you really needed him. He’d kissed you softly after each confession, returning the trust with a time he needed you. After the last one, he’d pulled back to look at you with dark eyes. He’d hated that you needed him and he couldn’t be there. He’d clenched his back molars twice before he said you’d be denied six orgasms the next time you were at the club, but tonight you have permission to come as often as you need to. 
He swats your already reddened ass cheek and your pussy flutters as you cry out. “Mister Miller, stop. Please, just let me move.”
“Do you need to use your safeword?”
“No,” you respond with a pout. 
“How many times?” He says again through gritted teeth, even though already knows the answer. 
“Six,” you sob. 
He tuts and then growls, “That doesn’t sound like my good girl, does it?”
You shake your head against his throat and moan a sound of disagreement.
“Do you want to come for me again?”
“Yes, Mister Miller. Please!”
He trails his fingers up and down your back again, the thin sheen of sweat on your skin makes it easy for him to caress you. He smiles to himself at the shiver that racks through your body at his touch. You react so beautifully to him. “Yeah? You wanna grind your swollen little clit on my piercing, baby girl?”
“Please,” you whine again, stretching out all the vowels in the word.
“Show me. Ride my cock, take what you need.” 
You lift your head from the crook in his neck and pull back slightly, rocking your hips back and forth; a sultry laugh leaves his lips at your eagerness. You look at him with hooded eyes, hair stuck to your forehead. His eyes trail down your neck to the bruises he sucked into your collar bone earlier and then to your breasts; both of which are covered in his marks. He watches the little gold nipple clamps, and the chain that connects them, bounce with each flick of your hips. 
“That’s it, sweet girl. You look like a goddess, my goddess. Who do you belong to?”
“I’m yours, baby,” you say through shallow breaths. He pulls at the chain and you cry out in pain. “S-sorry, Mister Miller.”
“Again, sweet girl. Tell me who you belong to.”
“Oh fuck, y-you, Mist -” his hands come to your face and when he whispers your name the rest of your sentence dies on your tongue.
“Just call me Joel.” The commanding voice of his alter ego is gone as he says it. 
Your hips slow, changing from a frantic back and forth to a sensual swirling motion. “I’m yours, Joel. Forever.”
He kisses you softly, a silent telling of how vulnerable he is at this moment. “Don’t ask me to let you go ever again.”
The smile you give him causes his heart to skip, “I won’t.”
“You might, sweet girl. I won't survive it if you do, so I’m going to remind you of this moment as often as possible for the rest of my life. Remind you how much you’re loved and supported. You’re mine, Freckles.” Your hips swirl and he feels you tighten up around him. “Come for me, my sweet girl.” 
“Fuck, fuck, Joel!” It’s a cry and moan all at once. 
“I’m here, it’s ok, baby.” With that, your body shudders and you fall into him as you shatter. Your pussy clenches and releases rapidly around his length. His cock twitches, and once he can’t hold it anymore he relaxes, letting his orgasm rock through him in time with yours.
“I’m yours, too,” he gasps as he melts into you.
The End
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Coming Soon:
Curious how Jamie ended up with her "dads new asshole friend?"
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Part 2 of the BDSMaid Trilogy coming mid 2025!
Also, stay tuned for the epilogue for Joel and Sweet Girl.
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lylianrae · 7 months ago
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Fullfilment is all you need + success??
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Basically what the title says + pics for proof (since anons had no problem asking for pics shamelessly (shameeee on you🤨) )
What even is fulfillment?
Fulfillment is the "feeling" that your desires are already realised in the 3D. It is also the same feeling we are trying to evoke with the state of wish fulfilled. When you are fulfilled, you feel as though you already have it fully (although you may only have in the 4D) and you're not actually bothered about whether it would manifest or how long it takes. As Neville always stated in his books, "feeling is the secret", its like knowing you already have it so you're secure in your manifestation.
Why is fulfillment the G.O.A.T?
Honestly you can manifest things so easily. Forgot affirming for 16 hours straight, SATs, the void, tapping or whatever the anons are on these days. It can be so much fun and it'll always leave you feeling good because you know you already have it. If you actually explore why you might want a certain desire, you'll realise that it actually stems from a much deeper void (pun intended).
For example, you might want to manifest 100% on your next test - do you want to see the number 100 randomly or do you want to feel proud of yourself? Do you want to have people admiring and respecting you? Do you want your parents to brag about you to their coworkers? Same thing with money, if you just have £25,000 in your bank account, it'll just be a bunch of numbers but actually what you are after is the financial freedom. The numbers would be useless if you can't do what you want with them.
Overall its the reason why we manifest and why these desires become reality. As soon as we make the feeling of having it natural, it manifests.
How do I know if I am fulfilled?
You are secure in your knowing as you know you have it already so there is no wondering where your desire is. You don't really care about time or how long it takes the same way anymore because you understand that you have it now so there is nothing to wait for if you already have what you want. Its more you know you have in the 4D so you don't care about the 3D. You have entered sabbath state and you're just chilling basically (it sounds like 5 different ways to say the same thing? 🤨).
How do I fulfill myself?
All these techniques - SATS, affirming, visualisation is all about helping us fulfill ourselves. Decide that you have this particular desire and know that. Sometimes we crave certain feelings, like sometimes we just want a warm hug or to eat a certain food which we can't in the moment. Literally just close your eyes and imagine having whatever it is as vividly as possible (if you want) and you'll notice the feeling of lack and desire just leaving.
For example, if you want a chocolate bar, you'll decide that you have one now. No matter what the 3D shows you, know that you have a chocolate bar. You can affirm, do SATS and visualise for the chocolate bar but at the end of the day they are techniques used to help you fulfill yourself and ease your craving for the chocolate bar by tell you that you already have it. With that being said, there is no higher power out there that will say that you can't have your desire if you only affirm 49 times out of 50 or only visualise once throughout your day. Thats also why sometimes desires just pop up even if you affirm once.
Success story??
So recently I have been putting my foot down about manifesting so I have been visualising and fulfilling myself whenever I get the chance. If I want to eat something I dont have in my house? Into my imagination I go and I create it. I want to hug someone I can't anymore? Imagination time. I want someone stop asking me questions? Close eyes, fulfill, rinse and repeat.
I've been "meditating" at night (I say meditating but its me just passing out after 3 secs) so sometimes I get weird trippy dreams but sometimes I can't remember them at all and wake up tired af even though I get 9 hours of sleep (sus as hell). Anyways one day (9/07) I dreamt of some dogs (which I completely forgot about) and after a few hours, my mum told me that my brother was collecting coins so he could save up for a puppy (hes 5 lmao) and shes was so impressed. She tried to talk to my dad into it and surprisingly he agreed?? Although I love dogs, I have also asked for a cat since forever (since manifesting my way into that private school) and I basically complained hard to my dad who really wanted a dog but he was kind of leaning towards a cat too that day. He even told me that if any sellers agree, he'll go pick them up right that day (lets be real, no one will with such short notice I think he just set me up to fail 😡). The next day (10/07) my sister approached him about it and apparently he was like no way (🤕) but tbh I didn't really care. Inside I was just like "I'll get whatever I want anyways" because its true but also because I'm kind of too busy for a pet right now. I used to think my life was too toxic for pet and that they would be better off not being mine but recently I just realised that I was just manifesting that toxicity into my life. Why would I, the God of my reality, be deprived of anything I want? Its simply not natural. Anyways -back to the story- he didn't want to get a cat and I was busy that day I sort of just dropped it. The next day (11/07), I was looking through kitten pictures and showing my mum and we were taking about what kind of cat to get, awwing over kittens (the usual yk). My dad walked in and I showed him the pictures and for once in his life, he was like yeah they're cute and then he told me to message the seller and that he will go pick the kitten up that very same day if they responded but only if they responded by 5 pm or else I won't get a cat at all (at the time, it was already after 3:30pm). I messaged a bunch of them and one of them responded super fast and even gave us their number, my dad gave them a call but... they would. not. pick up. I was stressing out so much because time was running but I somehow channeled my inner master manifestor and just calmed myself. Then the next thing I did was close my eyes and imagine myself hugging a tinyy black and white kitten. Then I just let it go, grabbed some ice cream and forced myself to chill. Lmao just kidding, I affirmed in my head like twice but I was interrupted because the seller called back!! Anyways, long story short, we ended up driving 1hr to the sellers place and guess what... I got what I wanted.
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Lol hes angry I won't let him sleep
His name is Mion and hes an absolutely babyyy. I will never shut up about how perfect he is - hes so freaking well behaved, has never bit, scratched or pooped on anything (expect litter). Hes so good with loud noises and with being picked up and played with. I've only heard him meow at the fruit flies and he only uses his claws on his toys. The crazy part is I only paid £10 for him. I used to stress that my dad won't actually like him but tell me why he's baby talking him?? It was honestly all so sudden, I didn't even have cat litter or a litter tray for him on the day.
I didn't exactly want a cat that bad but I think because I'm always giving myself whatever I want in my imagination, my subconcious just translated that into "there is nothing that I cannot have". Remember, there is nothing that you cannot have either <3 Bye bye.
Love, Lylian. This post is way too long, I'm so sorry I lost the plot a while ago. Ps: do you have any naming suggestions for him, I feel like Mion is a good name and an awful name at the same time.
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jpmarvel90 · 1 year ago
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Don't Belong pt 1
Masterlist Natasha Masterlist
Word Count: 8392
Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader
Summary: Y/n is the adopted daughter of Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff. However, when science enables her mother's to have twin boys who are biogloically both of their's, her relationship slowly changes. At 17 she's ready to move out and move on, is it too late for her moms to fix things?
Y/n's POV:
When I was 6, my life was saved by none other than the Black Widow. She came in like the hero she is and saved me from the hell that was Hydra. Whilst helping me to acclimatise to normal life, we grew close, and she was a mother figure I never had. I was so shocked when she told me that she wanted to adopt me.
It was everything that I could ever ask for. She was an amazing mom. Caring, loving and always there for me. She had this soft side that not many people got to see. To the world, and a lot of the team, she had this tough, steely exterior. But I never saw that. Not from the moment she found me. I always felt safe and loved around her.
A couple of years later, Wanda joined the team and soon enough, Mama fell in love. I never saw mama so happy. They had the perfect relationship and Wanda took me on without a second thought. When I was 9, she adopted me, and I had two loving parents.
We had quite a domestic life. Tony built us a separate suite at the compound so we could still be close by for when they were needed for missions. I loved having parents that were heroes. I was so proud of them. I ended up spending quite a bit of time with Pepper when they were on missions together, but when they came home, they always had a couple of days off to spend time with me to make up for being away. It was great.
Watching them make a difference in the world, was the reason I joined the SHIELD Young Initiative Programme. I wanted to be just like my moms. Steve became a huge support to me, and alongside him and mama, I was acing all my practicals and exams.
But before that, when I was 11, our family grew. With the help of Bruce and Tony, Mom got pregnant with twins, both biologically hers and mamas. Billy and Tommy made our family complete.
As soon as Mom got pregnant, Mama told Fury that she wouldn't be going on missions once mom got into her third trimester and that after the birth they both would be taking maternity leave. She also told him that they would only ever be sent on a mission together if it was to save the world. Otherwise, under no circumstances were they to go together. They wanted to be around for the twins as much as possible and didn't want them left on their own if they had to go on missions together.
For the first couple of years, everything was perfect. But when they became toddlers, they were a bit of a handful. It meant that mom's focus went to them and slowly I became less of a priority for them.
I found it hard as I was coming into my teenage years, and I felt like I needed my moms more than ever. But I understood at the start. I was old enough that I could look after myself and the twins needed more. But it got harder when every time I tried to talk to one of them, I was brushed off, or told to speak to them later. But later never came.
Once I hit 13, I was their personal babysitter whenever they needed it. Mama told me how they were trying to make sure that her and mom still had quality time together, so had a date night or day each week. Seems they forgot about quality time with their daughter. It got to the point I was expected to drop everything to be there for my brothers. Picking them up at school, taking them to soccer. It didn't matter what I had planned, I was expected to do my job for the family. I did it without complaining, because I thought if I could prove that I was a good sister, maybe they would start to acknowledge me more.
To try and prove myself worthy, I worked even harder for SHIELD. However, now I lost mama as my training partner. She was too busy with work or the twins to help me train. It hurt when she told me that but, thankfully, Steve stepped up more than he had. He became like a father to me. I could confide in him when my moms didn't have time. Though there were still things that I couldn't talk to him about.
Now I'm 17, working towards graduating the youth programme and into SHEILD as an official agent. We have our final exams coming up and I'm doing everything I can to be ready for them. The top two initiates will get fast tracked through the system and be able to go on missions sooner.
I want nothing more than getting that chance. I need to start making a name for myself and to stop being under my mothers' shadow. Once I wanted to be just like them, to make them proud. But now I know that's not possible. They have their perfect biological family. I was just the stray they took pity on.
"You know, you could take it easy today. You're more than capable of passing these exams even on a bad day. You'll be finishing top of the class and joining us for missions in no time." Steve tells me as he holds the punch bag for me. "I just want to be on top of my game." I tell him, hitting the bag as precisely as I could.
"Have you told your moms about the date for your final practical. I'm sure they'll want to be around when you get home." He asks, making me falter with my hits. "I did, but I don't think they were listening. Although they seemed to acknowledge it, Billy was showing them his Lego at the time." I share with him.
Steve knows what's been happening with my moms and the only reason he hasn't done anything is because I made him promise not to. All I need to do is graduate and then I can get moved into the SHIELD facility and start a new life without being a burden on my family.
"You know, you should talk to them. I know you've tried, but really sit them down and tell them how you're feeling." He tries once again. "It's been years now. If they really cared for me, they would notice that they barely see me anymore. I don't even remember the last time they said I love you." I respond, my hits getting harder.
"Ok, I'm calling this. You'll hurt yourself and then you won't even be able to complete your exams." Steve tells me, stepping between me and the bag. I sigh but know he's right. "Just try for me ok. Maybe after your exams. They'll be so proud of you." He pleads. "Ok, fine." I agree. "Now go shower kiddo. You stink!" He teases me before dodging a punch I try to land on his arm.
I smile as I head up to my room. As I walk into our apartment, I see the happy family sat together watching TV. "Hi moms." I call out when I enter. They don't even turn around, so I call out again, only to get the same response. I decide to go and join them but as soon as I sit down, I'm scolded by mom. "Y/n do you have to come in here like that. Go and shower will you." She tells me off. I look to mama who doesn't even glance in my direction. "Sorry, I was training for my final exam." I explain but once again, nothing. I let out a small humourless chuckle to myself as I leave the living room. Every day, I feel more and more like I don't belong here anymore.
__________
I did it! I actually passed! Not only did I pass, I topped the class. I think I even saw Fury smile. I'm so happy, nothing can burst my bubble right now. As a class, we all decide that we're going to celebrate tonight. We've been a tight group and it'll be nice to actually spend time together without having to study or practice.
I practically run back to the compound, smiling ear to ear. "Someone's happy." Steve calls out to me as I rush through the kitchen. "Someone might be your partner one day!" I call out as I keep on towards my destination of finding my parents. "Can't wait kiddo. Well done! Knew you could do it!" Steve shouts after me.
"Y/n, don't run!" Mama scolds me as I find them in the living room. "Sorry, but I have to tell you something that I know you'll want to hear." I apologise with a smile on my face. "Not now Y/n. We're about to head out. The boys just need dinner and don't let them stay up late." She tells me. That's when I notice that she's dressed up in her best jacket.
"I can't look after the twins tonight. Our class are going to celebrate." I explain, hoping she might ask why we're celebrating. But that would be wishful thinking. "Time with your friends can wait Y/n." She tells me without even looking up at me, too focused on her phone. "Can't one of the others watch them. Just for tonight. I've never asked before. But just this once. Please." I practically beg, but to no use. "Stop being selfish and just watch the boys." She snaps, making a lump form in my throat.
"Fine." I mumble, leaving the room and head out of our apartment. "Where are you going?" She calls after me. "To see Steve. Don't worry, I'll be back to watch your precious boys." I talk back whilst leaving, hearing her call after me.
I make my way to find Steve. I know he'll be excited with my results. I wipe at my eyes for the few traitorous tears that fell. "So, I hear someone will be an Avenger in no time." Tony says as I walk into the kitchen. "I think I'll stick with SHIELD." I respond. I have no desire to be a full time Avenger. I'll be around to see my moms live their perfect life without me.
"I'm proud of you kiddo." Steve smiles at me, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks, old man. I couldn't have done it without you." I tell him truthfully, squeezing him tighter. "Your mom's must be proud. Especially Nat. Now's the time for celebrating." Pepper says. "Oh, I'm babysitting the boys tonight." I respond, trying to hide my disappointment. I notice that all others share a look.
They have all noticed how my relationship has changed with my moms, but thankfully, never brought it up. "We could watch them. Let you go out with your class. I know how much you've been looking forward to it." Pepper offers kindly. "Thanks, but mama said it had to be me." I reply. "Sorry kiddo." Steve says, wrapping his arms around me. "It's ok. I better go back before I get into trouble. I just wanted to tell you all about the results." I tell them.
"Of course Y/n. We're so proud of you. I can't wait to work with you." Tony pats me on the shoulder, whilst the others all give me a hug. "We'll do something together tomorrow." Steve promises and I nod. "I'd like that." I reply, taking a deep breath before heading back home.
When I get back to the apartment, both mom and mama are waiting to go. "Good, you're back. We'll be home late." Mom tells me, turning to leave. "And we'll talk about your attitude in the morning." Mama adds on with a stern look before turning to leave. "I love you." I call out after them. No response. My head drops. I really have just become the live in nanny.
_________
The next day, I didn't have to face my moms in the morning. They had taken the boys to the park and out for breakfast. I didn't even get an invite. But thankfully, Steve is taking me for dinner tonight to celebrate the passing of my exams and my imminent graduation.
He's taken me to my favourite Italian restaurant. It's nice to have this time. Steve really has been the only parent I've had recently. I'm so grateful for him. "So your moms don't know?" Steve asks as I tell him that I've been told I can move into SHIELD accommodation in a few days. "I've tried, but as usual, I barely have a conversation with them anymore. They probably wouldn't even notice that I've gone." I admit the painful truth. "Do you think they even still love me?" I ask the question that has been haunting me for a long time now.
Steve looks at me with a sympathetic look. He reaches out and takes my hand. "Oh Y/n. I'm sure they do. They just got lost in the boys and have forgot, that even though you're a teenager, you still need them." He tries to defend them. "If you say so." I mumble, not believing him.
"Well, I have something that might cheer you up." Steve says, changing the subject. "Oh yeah, and what might that be Captain?" I ask with a smirk, making him roll his eyes. "I spoke with Fury, and he already has a mission for you. It's nothing too big, a simple in and out to get some data." Steve explains, making a smile grow on my face. "Really? Me on a mission already?" I question and he nods. "Fury would have had you on them earlier. You've been the best recruit the programme has seen. But he had to follow protocol. There is one downside though." He shares. "Oh God, don't tell me it's with my mother?" I ask making him laugh. "No, just this old man." He responds. "Really? I'm going with you?" I ask excitedly. "Yeah, you don't need me. But I wanted to see you in action on your first mission. I really am proud of you kiddo. I'm glad that I've had a front row seat to seeing you become the woman you have." He expresses honestly, taking me off guard.
The rest of dinner is lovely, and I have a really nice time. It's nice to actually have someone care about your achievements. However, that happiness soon disappears when I enter the apartment to two angry moms. "Where do you think you've been? You've not been answering your phone." Mama yells at me. I reach into my pocket and see that my phone is dead.
"Sorry, my cell died." I tell her, but that doesn't help. "So, are you going to share where you were without telling us? It's 10pm Y/n!" Mom now joins in. "I was having dinner with Steve." I share. "Until this late. Why would you be going out for dinner on a school night? Why didn't he ask us first?" Mama questions me.
"We went out to celebrate when I missed going with my class. And it's not a school night. The programme has finished now." I tell them, trying to keep my cool. "Is this about that party you couldn't go to last night?" Mom asks. "No, actually, it was having someone to celebrate with that I finished top of my class and am now officially a SHIELD agent!" I snap back, taking them both by surprise.
"You've had your final exams already?" Mom asks, stepping closer but I pull away. "Yeah, I have told you on a number of occasions. But apparently you don't listen to me anymore." I admit, feeling tears building. "You finished top?" Mama says proudly, but I just scoff. Her pride is too late. "Like you even care." I growl. "Don't talk to your mother like that." Mom tells me off.
"Like what? You haven't given me the time of day in years. Why do you suddenly care that I was out late. Was I not around to be your personal babysitter? Or were you just annoyed I wasn't there for the one time you noticed I wasn't around." I call them both out taking them by surprise.
"Y/n it was one night." Mom tries to deny more calmly. "No, it wasn't. It's always the twins this, the twins that. I have to make allowances for them in my life and stop what I'm doing to be there to babysit them. When was the last time that you spent any time with me? When did you last tell me you love me or even acknowledge me?" I shout, tears falling down my cheeks, as my parents stand staring at me in shock.
"I have worked my ass off with SHIELD so I can get in and earn my spot with them. Where I can have my own place and start a life for myself. Because I clearly haven't been a part of this family for a long time." I share how I've been feeling. I notice that both their eyes tear up. "Oh Y/n, sweetheart, that's not the case. Of course you belong." Mama tries to argue, moving closer with a shaky hand out in front of her. I don't reach out. In fact, I move away. "Well neither of your actions have shown it in the last few years." I point out, making mom cry harder. "Look it's fine. I get it. I'm not your biological child. Billy and Tommy are. I'll always be grateful for you saving me from Hydra, but you've got your family now. Don't worry, I'll be gone in a couple of days." I say sadly before heading to my room, my moms frozen in shock in their spot.
I slam the door shut behind me, locking it and falling onto my bed. I bury my head into the pillow and sob. All the emotions I've been bottling up come out. My whole body wracks with each sob as I realise, it's official. I really have lost my family now.
Nat's POV:
I feel the tears slowly falling down my cheeks as I realise that my daughter stood before me as a broken girl who thinks her moms don't love her anymore. By the time I come to my senses, Y/n is already gone, and I'm left facing my wife who is sobbing. "Have we really been putting the boys first so much she thinks that we don't want her anymore?" I say at a whisper, my voice getting caught in my throat.
"It's my fault. Things changed when I came into the picture, and we started trying for our own babies. We didn't even consider how that must have made her feel. We didn't even reassure her that we would still love her just as much, regardless of if the boys were ours biologically or not." Wanda responds.
I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around her. "It's not your fault my love. We both wanted that. Our lives are significantly better with you in them Wanda. But you're right. We should have tried harder to make sure we involved Y/n and showed her will still love her." I comfort her.
I can't believe that I've let Y/n get to this point. The day I found her in that cell, she changed my life for the better. She not only made me a mother, but she made me more human. She made me see there was more than being an Avenger. She is the reason that I who I am today. Yet I've neglected her. I got so focused on the twins that I didn't even notice how little I have seen Y/n.
"We should go and talk to her." I suggest whilst Wanda still clings to me. "She was angry. We should give her some space. Let's take her for breakfast in the morning. I'll ask Pepper to watch the boys and we can start to make this right." She counters. "But..." I start, not wanting to leave this longer than we have to. "This is our daughter we're talking about. She has your temper." Wanda tearily chuckles. "Hey!" I poorly defend. She's right though. She might not be biologically mine, but she is my mini me.
That night I don't sleep. All I can think of is every time that I blew Y/n off and decided to spend time with the twins instead. When did we stop doing things as a family? I try and think of the last time I trained with her or helped her prepare for her exams. God, how did I not even know she was taking them this week?! "Your thoughts are loud Detka." Wanda mumbles sleepily as she turns over to look at me. When she sees the distress on my face, she gives me a sympathetic smile. "She has worked so hard, and we didn't even know she was completing her final exams. She told us yet neither of us remembered or even heard her apparently. We are awful moms!" I sigh.
Wanda moves and pulls me into her embrace. "I know. I feel awful too. I'm so proud of her though. She finished top. She's just like you." She shares. "She's moving out." I realise whilst Wanda just looks at me confused. "What do you mean?" She questions. "She said she would be gone in a few days. She must have been assigned a room at SHIELD. Our little girl was ready to leave the nest and we didn't even know." I respond, another wave of sadness washing over me.
"We'll talk to her and make her see that she is still very much wanted here. If she still wants to move out that's fine, but she has to know that we love her and always have. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can make sure we change the future and how see feels." She says determined.
Neither of us really sleep. I think we regret not talking to her last night. But our tiredness soon takes over and we get some much need kip. It definitely won't do any of us favours when we talk to Y/n in the morning. She won't make it easy on us and I don't want to snap because I'm too tired.
When we eventually get up, we check on the boys and I go to ask Pepper if she would mind watching the boys. "Is Y/n not available?" Pepper asks with a humourless chuckle. "What? No, we're going to take her to breakfast." I respond, surprised at the bite to her tone. She hums in surprise. "I'll take the boys. Make sure you treat that girl. She definitely deserves it." She tells me firmly. I nod and thank her before going to get the boys.
"Everything ok?" Wanda asks me when I take Billy from her. "Whilst we've been failing to notice Y/n, I think everyone else has noticed our behaviour. It's very frosty down there." I tell her and she nods sadly. I guess we can't expect anything less.
It makes me wonder what could have happened if we didn't have everyone else around. They have clearly been supportive to her and been there when Wanda and I should have. What if she didn't have that support, would she have even still been with us?
Shaking off the thought, Wanda and I take the boys to the compound living room, where we receive a number of glares from the team that were there. Thankfully, nothing is said, but my guilt keeps on growing.
With the boys sorted, I take Wanda's hand and we head to Y/n's room. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. We wait anxiously but get no response. I try again, calling out to her this time. "Y/n, honey. Can we come in?" I ask, but once again, we're met by silence.
I look to Wanda who's got a concerned look on her face. "Sweetheart, we're going to come in now." Wanda speaks up and pushes down on the door handle. I'm surprised when it opens but that is soon replaced by shock when I see her room practically empty. There are a couple of boxes with her stuff in, but most of her clothes have gone.
I let go of Wanda's hand and quickly move into the ensuite to see if she's in there, but I'm met by more empty cabinets. Panic builds within me to know that she's gone. "Where is she?" Wanda asks as stands by the chest of draws, picking up photos that had been turned upside. She lets out a muffled sob when she sees they're our family photos. What have we done to our daughter.
"She's probably asked Fury if she could move sooner. Considering how much he loves her, I'm sure he would have done anything to get her in as soon as possible." I respond, letting out a sigh. "But she's only 17. She's still a kid." Wanda argues. "I know babe. But when she signed up, it was part of the contract that I signed as her parent. Besides, she turns 18 next week and we'd have no say anyway." I admit.
"Shit, is it already her birthday? We've done nothing to prepare for that. In fact, I'm sure we both forgot." Wanda exhales, running her hands through her hair, whilst I made sure all the photos were back upright. Though, I notice our last family photo was back when Y/n was just 15. We've got hundreds of photos with the twins, but it's been over two years since we've had a complete family photo.
Wanting to know that Y/n is ok, I grab my phone out and hit Fury's number. It rings out and I let out a sigh before trying Maria. "Romanoff." She greets me. "Hill, I was wondering if you could tell me if Y/n has moved into her room yet and if so where she's been placed. Wanda and I want to surprise her." I try my luck.
"I'm sorry, Y/n has asked that we don't disclose her room location at the moment. She has been allowed early move in, so will be in a position to share once the other agents are moving." Hill responds. "Please, Maria, I'm asking you as a friend. We really need to see Y/n." I plead, hoping she'll have sympathy on me. "And I'm telling you as a friend that how you treated your own daughter is unacceptable. Do you know why she was the best cadet to come through?" She calls me out. "No." I respond in a whisper. "Initially it was because she was trying to be just like her hero mothers. But she got even better when she was fighting to make her own name for herself to start her life over. I watched her personality change to become guarded and her walls built high. That's what you did to her Nat." She scolds me through the phone.
"I know Maria. We have fucked up more than we thought possible and we're trying to make this right. We can't do that if we can't even speak with her." I counter. "This isn't something you can just fix with a talk and a hug. This is years of you slowly neglecting her. Pushing yourself onto her is not going to help with that." Maria warns me. I know she's right. We'll end up pushing Y/n away if we're not careful. But I also know that I can't wait to fix this. I want my baby girl to know how much I love her. Despite my inability to show her these last few years.
Wanda and I spend the day trying to get any information on where Y/n might be. We get a lot of cold shoulders, and our questions often go answered. I even spend time hanging around the Shield accommodation to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. My lucks not in and I return home deflated.
When I walk through the door, a smile forms on my face as I see Wanda giving the boys dinner. "Any luck?" She asks. I just shake my head. "We'll find her." She says confidently. "When was the last time we had dinner with Y/n?" I ask, looking to Wanda who's looking at me sympathetically. "Detka, you are punishing yourself by think that." She scolds me lightly. "It's true though. She asked when we last said I love you to her. I've been trying to think, and I don't remember. How can a mother not remember when they last said I love you to their child. Have we really subconsciously disregarded her because she isn't biologically ours?" I share my thoughts, tears falling freely down my face.
Wanda quickly moves from the table, leaving the boys to carry on talking about the latest Nintendo game they're playing. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in close. "We let ourselves get lost in the boys. They were a handful and we were blessed with a daughter who was selfless and caring. Subconsciously, we took advantage of that. But that changes now ok." She responds as I nod in the crock of her neck. We really need to fix this.
__________
It's been a few days and we've still had no luck in seeing Y/n. Wanda and I decided to go to Shield to talk to Fury today, whilst the boys were in school. I head straight to his office, knocking twice before heading in, not caring if he's busy. "Romanoff, Maximoff. What can I do for you?" He asks, moving his gaze from the laptop in front of him.
"It's been long enough now Fury. The other agents have started moving in and Y/n is still only 17, so tell us where she is staying." I demand, my tone harsh. "I can give you her room allocation, but she's not there." Fury responds, just angering me more. "Then where the hell is she?!" I shout, only calming down when I feel Wanda squeeze my hand. "She's on a mission. She'll back tomorrow." He responds nonchalantly.
"A mission? She's 17 Fury! How is she already going on a mission?!" Wanda responds before I even manage to direct my own anger into words. "She is almost 18 and finished top of her class. You knew that was a possibility when you signed her up Romanoff. She has the potential to be the best agent we've seen. She is ready." Fury retorts, but I'm still not happy. "She's just a kid, she could get hurt." I growl, worry taking over me.
"Natasha, she is far from the kid you think she is. If you still trained with her, you'd see that she can almost beat Steve in hand to hand combat and her weapons skill matches your own, if not better in some instances." He points out and I realise how little I actually know my daughter right now. "Look, I'll keep you posted when she's back." Fury concedes after a moment silence.
"Thank you. Is she on her own?" I ask but he shakes his head. "Steve went to be on comms." He replies and that puts my mind at ease a little. He loves her like his own, he'll do everything that he can to protect her. "Ok. Thank you." I say, taking Wanda's hand a heading home.
"We've missed so much Nat. Y/n used to tell us everything about her training and classes. We've created an environment where she doesn't feel like she can share with us anymore. She was probably so excited to get a chance on her first mission. But instead of us being with her and making sure she's prepared, we didn't even know she had gone." Wanda agonises.
"I'm worried that we may not be able to fix this. If her walls have gone up, they'll be near impossible to knock them down." I sigh. "You had walls once. What helped you to let them down?" Wanda asks. "Y/n." I respond, my gaze dropping to my hands. "Then we find away to be the same for her." Wanda tries to comfort me. But how can the people that caused her this pain, be the ones to pull her through.
The next morning is quiet whilst we get the boys ready for school. They asked this morning where Y/n was and that they missed her. It broke my heart. Because of our actions, not only is Y/n feeling alone, isolated, and not part of this family, but her brother might lose the chance of having their sister in their lives.
When we get home, we end up just sat waiting for any news that Y/n is on her way home so we can greet her. I want to be able to hear all about how her first mission went and actually be apart of something so special to her. I may not have shown it, but I've always been proud of her. She is talented and I loved training with her. I had always planned to join her again once the twins were old enough. But I didn't and it seems that I have missed out on so much.
Whilst I'm preparing lunch, I hear Friday's alarm go off and my ears tune in. "Emergency medical team to the landing bay. Emergency medical team to the landing bay." I don't even think before I'm dropping the knife onto the countertop. I go to call for Wanda, but she rushes in from the bedroom. "Something's wrong with Jess. I can feel it." She says worriedly. "Let's go." I say, taking her hand and rushing through the compound to get to the landing bay.
Cho is waiting, along with a nursing staff. "Is it Y/n?" I ask as we come to a halt next to her. It feels like an age before she responds. A small nod of the head breaks my heart. "H-how bad?" Wanda asks, a tremble to her voice. "Steve confirmed a gunshot wound. She's lost a lot of blood." She responds. I run my hand through my hair, my stomach in knots.
It feels like the world around me has become muffled. I don't hear the orders that Cho is giving her team. Had I been able to, maybe I would have known more about her condition. My chest feels tight at the thought of her being hurt and the chance that she might not make it.
It's not until a pair of hands cup my face, that I zone back into the environment around me. "Breathe for me baby." Wanda's shaking voice tries to calm me. But the complete fear in her own eyes doesn't do much to help. We're facing losing our daughter and she doubts the depths of our love for her.
I do my best to bring myself out of this panic attack. I can't be a broken version of myself. My wife and family need me more than ever. If I can't pull through now, I'm not worthy to be a mother. "That's it detka. Deep breathes." Wanda guides me. I take one more deep breath and stand straighter. This isn't about me.
I can see a frown on Wanda's face form as she sees me put up my own walls. I know that she hates when I do this, but it's the only way I know how to get through what's about to happen without completely breaking down.
It's not long until the QuinJet comes into sight and slowly starts to descend on to the landing pad. I feel like I'm holding my breath as we wait for the ramp to lower, and we can see how bad this is. My heart is thumping against my chest as it begins to lower, and I see Steve's face first.
Cho and her team move forward, a bed waiting, whilst Wanda and I hold back. I want to be by her side straight away, but I also know that we'll just be a hinderance to her care if we insist on being with her.
When we get a full view of Steve, I hear Wanda let out a sob beside me. He's holding our unconscious daughter in his arms. His own suit is covered in blood and my eyes instantly land on the blooded dressing on her stomach. "I tried to staunch the bleeding as best I could. But it just kept coming." Steve explains. I've never seen him so shaken up before.
He places Y/n on the hospital bed and moves out the way, before staring at his bloodied hands. Cho doesn't wait before rushing Y/n off to the medical bay, the three of us closely following behind.
"Is she going to be ok?" I ask as they start to get to work. But before she has a chance to respond, the machines start to go crazy and they move even faster to help my daughter.  "I can't answer that right now Agent Romanoff. I need to focus on Y/n, but I promise I'll keep you updated." Cho says, her polite way of telling us to leave. I'm reluctant, knowing that in this moment, Y/n is on the verge of life or death. But with a subtle tug of my hand from Wanda, I follow to watch through the window outside.
My gaze doesn't leave my daughter as I watch over as the team work to save her life. I don't notice that another person has joined us until I hear a bang from behind me. My head shoots around where I see Steve pinning Fury to the wall. "You told us it was empty! That all she needed was to get to the drive and out again." Steve growls at Fury who's holding his hand up in surrender. "I know." He responds, but Steve isn't happy when he slams him against the wall again.
"Then why the hell is she led in that hospital fighting for her life. There was a whole guard waiting for her!" Steve yells. This information makes the anger inside me grow. "You sent her into an ambush?!" I join in now, furious that he has put my daughter in danger.
"I didn't know! I'm as surprised as you are." Fury tries to explain, but Steve isn't letting up. "Talk!" Steve spits. "I had an agent scout the base for two weeks! Every report was how there was no activity. I would never have sent her had I know there was any more risk. It was supposed to be an easy mission for her first." Fury explains.
I can see the honesty in his eyes, and I know Steve does too. Fury has been like family to Y/n and I do trust he would never willingly put her in unnecessary danger. "So, either Hydra suddenly decided to man the base or..." Steve starts. "The agent tipped them off." I finish off as Fury nods. "I've detained the agent, and he broke within minutes. It was a perfect opportunity for them to fight you without back up." Fury shares as Steve lets him go. "Except I wasn't meant to go in. So, they were faced with Y/n." Steve concludes.
"I'm sorry Nat. I really am. I never would put Y/n in danger like that. I wanted her to have a successful first mission. One that would build her confidence." Fury apologises with a sincerity that he rarely shows. "I want to see him." I state firmly, to which Fury sighs. "Me too. It's because of him that our daughter is fighting for her life." Wanda steps beside me, her eyes glowing red. "Not now, not while you're both angry and worried." Fury refuses. "He could be the reason my daughter dies!" I shout at him, but he doesn't budge. "And he'll also be the reason I have to arrest you for killing him. If it's not you it'll be Wanda. I'm not letting either of you do that." Fury once again declines.
In a huff, I drop to the seat in the waiting room, my head falling into my hands. He's right. I will kill him if I get my hands on him. "Be here for Y/n. She needs you now more than ever. Leave the rest to me. I can promise that he will not get away with it." Fury orders, the formality coming back into his tone. We all reluctantly agree, and he leaves content that, for now, a homicide will not be occurring.
"What happened?" I ask Steve when the silence becomes almost unbearable. He takes the seat next to me and his gaze falls to his blooded hands. "It was meant to be a simple mission to test her hacking. I was in the QuinJet for support, and she was to go in, get to the mainframe computer and download as much data as possible." He starts and I nod along. "It was going fine, and she was doing everything by the book, clearing each room one by one. Part of me was sure she would be just like you and be impatient to get what she needed." He shares, with a small smile, making me chuckle. "Thankfully, she's a far better agent than I am." I respond, feeling Wanda's hand interlink with mine.
"It was as she got to the second floor, she said something felt off. It was warmer and it didn't smell as damp and musty. She said there were signs that this floor had been used recently. Knowing the risk that could entail, I told her to pull back and we'd get a team to help us clear the base. It wasn't something we should be doing on our own." He continues to explain, my anger towards the double agent increasing by the minute. But I also feel pride at how she was able to establish that something was wrong.
"She did as I ordered, but she was ambushed on her way out. I was already on my way in to meet her when I heard gunshots start. By the time I reached her, all the agents were down around her, but an alarm was blaring, and I knew others would be on their way. I grabbed at Y/n's arm, but she didn't move. As I moved in front of her, it was then I saw where her gaze was fixed. She's been hit. I got her out of there as quickly as I could and set the QuinJet to fly on autopilot. I tried everything that I could to stop the bleeding, but there was just so much. I-I...." Steve starts to crumble as he aggressively rubs at the blood on his hands.
I reach out and place my hands over his, stopping his actions. "I know you would have done everything you could Steve. We don't blame you. I'm so grateful that you were there to help our daughter." I try to reassure him. "I'm going to clean up. I can't sit here with...this on my hands any longer." Steve says, standing up holding his hands out in front of him.
Silence falls again when it's just Wanda and me. I want to look through the window again, but I don't think I can see them working on her. If she dies, I can't watch that. She looked so small as Steve laid her on the bed. "I had always hoped I'd be with her on her first mission." I speak up, guilt building once again. "Hmm" Wanda responds, turning to look at me. "When we used to train together, I always knew she would be one of the best the agency we would see. I couldn't wait to work along side her. My pride was overwhelming." I share as Wanda smiles softly at me.
"What happened? Why did I let myself lose sight of her. I have no excuse for treating her how I did. When I adopted her, I promised that she would always be loved and safe. Look at her now. I wouldn't blame her if she never forgives me." I lament, tears stinging my eyes. "It wasn't just you babe. We both have done wrong by Y/n and it's not forgivable. But we can work to earn her trust back and be the mothers that she deserves." She tries to comfort me.
"What if she doesn't make it and we don't have a chance to make things right? Or she does make it through, but she wants nothing to do with us?" I question in a panic. "I think she always hoped you'd eventually pull your heads out your asses." Steves voice takes us both by surprise as he rejoins us in a pair of sweats and a hoody. "What do you mean?" I ask, confused.
"Fury loves that kid. If she had asked to move out sooner, he would have allowed her too. I think part of her didn't want to go just in case you started being the loving and caring mothers you once were. Ultimately, she was still a kid and desperate to still have you in her life." He clarifies. "But she had already gone. We blew our last shot." Wanda speaks up. "Maybe you're right. But if anyone is worth fighting for. It's her." Steve points out and I couldn't agree more. I know that I'll do anything in my power to make things right and hopefully prove to my daughter that I love her more than I can express.
After hours of waiting, too scared to even glance through the window, Cho comes out of the medical room with a solemn look, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I feel my breathing pick up once again, the thought of not being able to fix everything with Y/n becomes suffocating. It's not until Wanda grasps my hand that I find myself zoning back in.
"H-how is s-she?" I find myself asking in a quiet, unsure voice. Cho sighs and takes the seat opposite us, her hands interlocked. "Y/n suffered a gunshot wound to her abdomen. The bullet went straight through her liver. We were required to remove part of her liver, to ensure we saved her life. This was harder with the amount of blood that she lost. However, we were able to stabilise her before repairing the damage done to her liver." She explains.
"So, she's going to be, ok?" Wanda asks to clarify. "It's going to be touch and go. She's extremely weak right now and the next couple of days are going to be critical to her recovery. If she can pull through these next few days, I believe she'll make a full recovery. Though it'll take a lot of rehab to adjust to the changes to her body." Cho confirms.
I let out a small sob, knowing that she can pull through this. I have to believe that she will make it through these next few days, and we can be there to support her through her recovery. "Will she be able to return to full field duties?" Steve asks, clearly agitating Wanda. "Really Steve. That's what you're concerned about right now?" She snaps.
He turns to look at us and I know exactly why he's asking. "The SHIELD programme is everything to Y/n. To lose it after only just achieving it, that will crush her." Steve defends. "I think she would rather be alive right now." Wanda snaps back. "You just don't want to face that the honest truth is that without this programme, Y/n will feel like she has nothing, and I hate to say it, but she won't be too happy about being alive." Steve shares, an angry, yet sad look on his face.
Wanda goes to argue back, a look of hurt washing over her face. But I hold my hand up to stop her. "He's right my love." I interrupt her, making her snap her head to me. "SHIELD was the only family she thought that she had after she believed that she didn't belong in this family anymore. It will break her if she can't carry on what she worked so hard to achieve." I admit sadly.
I lock eyes with Wanda, and I see her heartbreak even further, if that's possible. "It'll take time and a lot of hard work, but I believe that Y/n would be able to return to full duties within SHIELD." Cho chips in, reminding us all that she was still in the room. "But first, she needs to get through the next few days." She reiterates, making all of us nod.
"Can we see her?" I ask, desperate to be with her and to hold her hand. "Of course. I'll be in my office, but the nursing staff will monitor her hourly." She smiles at us and leaves us to it. I take Wanda's hand and lead her towards the door and slowly push the door open. I let out a gasp when I see my little girl led in bed. She has a tube down her throat and wires attached to so many machines.
I've seen many people in this situation. But when it's your own daughter, there aren't words to describe the pain you feel. How helpless you are to make them better. All you can do is sit and watch as you wait for fate to take its course. Praying that you get your daughter back.
I instantly move to take a seat next to her bed, taking her hand in mine and holding it tightly. I notice the bruising to her knuckles, showing she fought. It brings a small smile of pride to my face.
Wanda goes to the opposite side of the bed and gently places her hand on Y/n's head. "I'm so sorry moya Lyubov." She whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. "We promise we're going to make things right. We are so sorry that you ever felt like you didn't belong in this family. You'll never doubt this again!" I make promise to her now, one that I will repeat when she wakes up. Because she will wake up.
Part 2
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tackykachowch · 2 months ago
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Silco was set up to be Fishbones from the start
Disclaimer: I won't take season 2 into account At All, because it can't work with setups and payoffs even if its life depends on it.
Alrighty. As we've seen Season 1 paid a lot of attention to set up canon things from LoL into the show as naturally and logically as possible, and at least from my point of view, it handled the job with flying colors. Jayce's hammer, Vi's gauntlets, Vander/Warwick etc, nothing felt out of place. But how does Silco fit into this at all? Let's get down to business to defeat the huns
First of all, what even is Fishbones? In the canon of LoL, it's one of if not the most iconic weapon Jinx has. And it is not only a weapon to her, but a loyal and "beloved" companion, as it's described in one of her skins. She constantly talks to it, and in contrast to her chaotic and impulsive nature, Fishbones is very pragmatic and calm. Sounds like a certain someone, doesn't it? But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
But how does Silco go from being Jinx's father to one of her weapons? There are a lot of points that support that actually, I was surprised myself ngl.
- Silco is the only character in the entire series who is directly and tightly connected to water and underwater creatures. Silco was "reborn" in the water when Vander tried to kill him, the first office he had was placed under the water, with a huge observational window. Silco is also fond of underwater creatures, and while other people call and see them as monsters, Silco pays no attention to it, as he thinks that there's "a monster inside all of us". And here's Fishbones, who is designed after a shark, arguably the most famous "underwater monster". But what is more interesting is that it debuted is the finale of season 1, which is titled "The monster you created". Quite a throughline there.
- Silco was the reason behind Fishbones' creation in the first place. While it does seem that it all started with Jinx, who stole the hex gemstone on the Progress Day, we also need to remember WHY she did it. She did it to impress Silco specifically, to make him to be proud of her. This want was triggered by her screwing up the smuggling mission earlier that day, and while Silco didn't scold her for it much and only advised her to rest for a bit, she saw this as him thinking that she's weak. So, after all of this Silco asks Jinx to make a weapon with the use of gemstone. Not necessarily to use it against Piltover, but to have it as a wild card if his plans go wrong. Jinx agrees and attempts to reverse engineer it, but it triggers her memories when she killed Mylo and Claggor with her bomb, so she tells Silco that she can't do it. He then goes to the river he was nearly killed in with her, and "baptises" her to help her let go of her fear of pain. This seemed to have worked, at least for a little while, because she managed to finish the weapon. So, in conclusion: Fishbones' creation was triggered by Jinx's want to impress Silco, and he helped her with its creation on every step of the way.
- this point is somewhat meta, but I'll use it anyway. In previously mentioned episode 9 Silco tells Jinx that everybody around them betrays them, and they have only each other to love and lean on. He says, quote: "Everyone betrays us, Jinx. Vander, her. It's only us". At the same time, in LoL Jinx says this line to Fishbones: "It's just you and me, Fishbones!". Well.....it's certainly a callback if I've seen one. Like- it's not even funny. They couldn't have written this line on accident.
- now onto the most interesting part for me personally. We all now that there are no accidents in animation, like. At all. Even if there are this is extremely rare, as every frame is created intentionally. Now, we do now that there are quite. A few discrepancies between writers and animators of arcane, but I don't think this applies in this particular case. Now onto the actual point. So, in the finale of season 1 Jinx kills Silco, and it's shown to us like this.
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He's turned with right side ("human") of his face to the camera, while the left side ("monster") side is hidden.
As Jinx fires Fishbones at the council
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It's positioned with its right side to the camera, which alignes with Silco's "monster eye". Also, Fishbone's eye has a black scar pattern around its eye, which again, resembles Silco's damadged eye. That could mean that Silco is once again "reborn", and now continues to live on in the monster Jinx created.
And here comes the most awesome part in all of this. When Silco adopts Powder, he hugs her and tells her
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Do you see how the frame is positioned? Exactly. It is exactly the same framing scene with Jinx and Fishbones has. And, most importantly, when Jinx pulls the trigger, we hear the exactly same line on the background: "We will show them all". It simultaneously shows: that Jinx's attack on the council is her way of dealing with grief of killing Silco; her way of honoring Silco's fight against Piltover; and a direct transition of Silco into Fishbones. Although he's dead in body, but Jinx's memories of him and his voice now continue to live in Fishbones, her new eternal companion.
I am at awe with the fundamental work that's been done with this setup, and although s2 never followed up on this, I still can get enjoyment from the clear intent creators put here originally.
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immortalityriver · 8 months ago
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can you please write how aged!up genya would act if reader was pregnant?
i looove these kinds of scenarios. anon didn't leave specifics so I'll make headcanons with scenarios described as small fanfics.
Aged!up (20) genya x pregnant gn!reader
Au: original/timeskip
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┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄☼┄
he does his damnedest to make sure you're comfortable. he couldn't imagine having to carry a child for 9 months, much less give birth to one.
He's your shadow. Would you like to do laundry? he's helping you hang everything up on the line. dishes? he's already done them. Did you forget to grab something at the market? he'll be back in an hour.
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you huffed, holding the clothing basket against yourself as you waddled out to the backyard to hang everything out to dry.
currently, you were at about 8 months. pretty far along in your pregnancy, even simple things became tedious, including chores.
you caught his eye.
"..hey! Let me help out with that!" and suddenly he's on his feet rushing after you.
"..Genya it's fine. I can do it myself." you chimed as you looked up at him as he took the basket from your hold.
"I know... but it's the least I can do. I let you do the dishes by yourself last time so you gotta let me help out now, right?" he looked at you with a softened gaze, already going to hang the clothes.
you knew he wouldn't take no for an answer, so you shook your head and joined him ".. Right. thank you, genya."
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when you're near your due date, he begins to wonder more about the gender, names, sometimes he'd pass shops and he couldn't help but get a few things.
you discourage it, since you're both unsure about the gender. but you really can't stop him, it's sweet he's so involved.
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"y/n!" his voice echoes through the home, and you drag yourself out of bed to go meet him
thats when you caught eye of the bag he was holding.
"..okay.. what'd you impulsively buy this time?" you smiled up at him, stifling a sigh, he really couldnt just wait until the baby was born?
"take a look." he held the bag outward, a big goofy lopsided smile on his face
you took the bag and peeked, finding a few toys, a stuffed animal and some clothes.
genya looked rather proud of himself, and you had to admit everything he picked out was adorable.
".. it's great, darling.. but do you have to bring back baby stuff every time you go out?"
".. it's not like i look for it or anything.. i swear it looks for me!" he raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes, pointing to himself
you shook your head "..uh-huh.. so baby clothes can get up and walk now?"
"totally."
"..did you even get what i sent you out for?"
"..." he stared at you, looking at the bag in your hand, then down at his own, where the other bag should've been.
"..shit!"
"..genya.."
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and lastly, he's a generally affectionate guy. but when you're pregnant? he can't keep his hands off of you for even a second.
throughout the day it's constant kisses and hugs, and when bedtime rolls around he's stuck to you like he's a moth and you're a porch light.
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you could practically feel him seeping into your pores. with the way his arms wrapped around you.
"..genya, it's too warm for this.." you muttered, sticking your legs out from under the blanket to get at least some relief
"..nonsense.." he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, giving you a slight squeeze. his warm breath fanning against your skin didn't help at all.
"..genyaaaa..!"
"sh. go to bed."
"don't shush me.. i'm carrying your child." you retorted, now it was just playful banter.
"pft.."
you could feel his smile growing against your neck, to which you rolled your eyes at.
"i can hardly sleep with you smothered against me anyways. can't you scoot at least a little?"
he turned you over to face him, backing a little to make room for your very swollen belly.
"what, you don't love me anymore?"
"nope. not at all. that's absolutely what it is."
he sighed at your sarcasm, leaning into you and giving you a short peck on the lips.
"..i love you."
"I love you too, genya. goodnight."
``end
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morepeachyogurt · 2 years ago
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i love you, i do, but i cannot fucking stomach you
1. richard siken | 2. david foster wallace | 3. slavoj žižek | 4. x? | 5. succession, jesse armstrong. gif by @lesbiankendall | 6. orla gartland | 7. trista mateer | 8. ilya repin | 9. iain thomas | 10. thoroughbreds, cory finley | 11. yrsa daley-ward |
text id below
1. sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them
2. [in red highlight] everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.
3. [white text on a background of a field] A FRIEND HAS TO BE OUTSIDE MY REACH, BEYOND MY GRASP. AND THERE CAN BE NO FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHOM I AM NOT READY TO BETRAY: A FRIEND IS SOMEONE I CAN BETRAY WITH LOVE.
4. Long before Caesar and Brutus were lessons, they were friends. // They played with stick swords in their kingdom of trees // and dressed up in crowns of flowers // and painted mud on each other's faces. // The pair was often found walking down dirt roads, // Caesar stomping proud and tall, // and Brutus- step by step- placing his feet into the footprints left behind. // Caesar grew into a strong Roman man. // Brutus grew into Caesar's shoes. // They walked to a wishing well and they threw in their weapons // and Caesar whispered a prophecy: // "We live and die together." // The day before the slaughter, Brutus took pause. // He turned to Caesar and thought // "I'll love you twice as hard today to make up // for tomorrow," // and they stayed up and played cards on the kitchen floor. // It wasn't until the next morning that Brutus realized how cold the tile was. // Life and death are not mutually exclusive. // When Caesar died, so did Brutus, in the sense that he never really lived again. // In the present, when someone mentions one of them, // they seldom exclude mention of the other.
5. a scene from succession. the characters kendall and stewy are in a dimly lit alley, one walks away from the other while saying “you’re my third oldest friend. you fucked me like a tied goat. we’re great.”
6. I'm not happy if you're not happy // And swear that you're always sad // You're pathetic, I resent it // When you're down, it hurts so bad
7. I've gotten so good about not flinching at the sound of your name that people don't know I'd still throw myself mouth-open into the ocean for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.
8. the painting ‘Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivana’. it depicts a man holding another man who is bleeding profusely from his head.
9. there are a million ways to bleed, but you are by far my favorite.
10. scene from the movie thoroughbreds. a character lays crying wrapped around her friend, she is covered in blood, her friend is unconscious.
11. [in pink highlight] and be wary of friends, yeah? they are the ones who kill you, in the end.
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plaguedwithlove · 7 months ago
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Based on a asmr roleplay i suddenly remembered a while ago, and i can't find it :((
Yan!Werewolf x Fem!reader
summary:  Why you?...All you wanted was to help your sick father, and it costed you your freedom, innocence, and livelihood
Warnings: my first dark romance story and smut so apologies if this is shit, 18+, stalking, non-con, rough first time, virginity loss, non-con touching, kidnapping, breeding kink, monster-fucking?? but y'all fuck when he's in human form, mentions of and inevitable forced pregnancy
—--
Violent coughs erupted from your father’s room, he had barely made any progress to recovery for about 2 weeks. Rushing up to his room, you give him a small smile and re-wet the cloth on his forehead 
“My loving daughter, I’m ashamed of myself that you devote your time to taking care of your pathetic father, you should be enjoying your young adulthood!..” 
You giggle and shake your head “Oh hush father, you’ve taken care of me since girlhood and now it’s my turn to take care of you, I will stay by your side for as long as I need to.” 
With a teary smile, your father grabs your hand and firmly grasps it “Your mother’s spirit lives in you, she too had such loyalty and love.” 
Returning his smile, you nod “I miss her, papa..”
Although your mother died when you were rather young, merely being 9 when she passed. You still remembered the mundane activities you’ve done with her and you all remember them fondly 
One of your favorite memories with your mother was when you both went for a walk in the forest and she reminisced of how she met your father 
“He slipped on his bottom and I came to his aid, I could see hearts in his eyes..” your mother giggles. She then looks at you and strokes your hair, “One day you’ll meet that someone who gives you the butterflies and you’ll know they’re the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with.” 
Going back to reality, your father speaks “As do I, she would be proud of the beautiful young lady you’ve become.” More coughs escaped from his mouth, your eyebrows furrow in worry 
“Here, papa.” helping your father drink the warm tea, his coughing calms down. “You aren’t getting any much better, I’ll head into town tomorrow and get more medicine. But please rest for now, papa,” 
With a weak nod, your father lies back down but before closing his eyes he gives you one more smile 
“Thank you my sweet (Name)..” 
“Of course, good night..”
Making your way out of his room, you look back at your father one last time before shutting the door
Grabbing your bag, you make your way outside, even if you couldn’t go into town at this hour, you still wanted to at least pick more herbs nearby
While the sun was still out, you hastily make your way to the field of rosemary's 
—--
A lone man strides through the forest, he was starved 
Both for meat and affection
He hadn’t had a successful satisfying kill in days, and quite frankly he was on the edge now, and the fact he was sexually frustrated would worsen his state of mind
Frustration and hunger was his drive, and whatever poor decently-sized creature was within a mile radius would meet an unfortunate end 
His ear and nose twitches
He knew this smell all too well, a potential prey 
Hastily, he makes his way toward the source of this delicious smell
The closer he got, the more his hunger enhanced 
Until, the smell of his prey mixed with the scent of rosemary 
He obscures himself behind a tree, waiting for the perfect moment
As soon as his prey got in better range of his sight, he could make out a figure, it was no deer, it was a human, a female human  
Peeking his head out more, his head tilts upon seeing the human
The werewolf has seen humans before, but never this close, nor this beautiful 
He stares at the woman's body, from her docile looking face, her breasts, and plump arse
Now that he thought about it, he was at the ripe age of finding a mate, after all most of his friends have already tied the knot and even had some mini versions of them!
And she certainly looked to be at a child-bearing age
He had to have her...
Upon noticing she was dusting herself off and ready to leave, he moved from his spot in a flash, steadily making way to his mate
HIs sudden movements startled as the woman gasps and looked around for the source of the sound
She was easily startled, cute....
Deciding to play with her for a little, he reveals himself to her, standing on his full height
—--
Your eyes widen at the tall figure in front of you, your breathing quickens and start to panic
"Well..what do we have here?" voice deep and menacing
Looking up, you're met with a rugged-looking man, he was tanned, with dark chestnut messy hair cascading down his shoulders. But what stuck out most to you was his amber eyes, bright under the moonlight, pupils piercing into you. He was far from human...those eyes no doubt belonged to those men who transform into monstrous beasts on the full moon
"Lost little lamb?"
"N-no, I was on my home just now...good night." before you could make a run for it, the tall man blocks your way, for a big guy, he was surprisingly agile, making your fear increase ten fold
"Not so fast, you've crossed into my territory, now you must pay the price."
Your heads suddenly turn toward him, since when did this field belong to anyone? You've been here many times, and there was never a claim on this field. "Sir, please! I have no possessions worth taking from me! I only have herbs for my sick father!"
"Ahh I see, so you're the one stealing from my field?"
"Please forgive me, I needed them to heal my father!"
"Save your pitiful pleas thief.." with a devilish smirk, the man lowers his upper body to inspect you
The man lowly chuckles at how adorably pathetic you looked, all under his mercy
"Hmm, quite plumply cheeks...meaty thighs..." he then pushes his face on the crook of your neck, inhaling your smell "Delectable...you would make a fine meal..." feeling you tense up and shiver with fear made his senses go wild
"But...lucky you, I've been lonely these days... I need something pretty to warm my den.." Hearing what he was implying, you look at the man with fear and confusion
"I'll take you as my mate...and you will bear my offspring." he licks his lips, revealing sharp canines
Your eyes widened in horror. You were in the prime of young adulthood and still had a life ahead of you! Marriage and children were still far away from your plans! "No, no, no! I have a father to look after, I can't and I won't!" pushing away from him, he grasps your wrist in an iron grip
"Oh well that's just too bad for that old fool, you trespassed and now you must pay up by giving yourself away to me, if you keep resisting I'll just have to eat you up and kill that meek father of yours."
Seeing all the spirit and will drain from you, made him swell with pride and triumph "Now what will be your choice, my mate?" he whispers and grabs a lock of your hair, kissing it
Fat glumps of tears build up in your waterline, this was it, your life was over all because of this hormonal and dangerous man beast
"Please...leave my father out of this..."
"Then you know what you must choose, pet.."
Closing your eyes, tears shed down your cheek and you nod "Just leave my father alone..."
The man grins, and grabs your chin, making make eye contact with him "Good choice...but don't you worry, I'll be your family now, along with all the children we will have." He slams his lips on yours, devouring them
You choke and gasp as he assaults your throat, his tongue forcing its way inside all over your mouth
Pulling away briefly, he lets out a raspy chortle. "That's it. Keep crying for me." he turns you around, throwing your bag out in the field to be forgetten. He pulls apart your dress, the tearing of the fabric was the only noise heard in the forest, your cries only worsens
"Erix." He suddenly says
You look at him with confusion
"Erix is my name, be sure to scream it."
With one final pull, your dress is in tethers, leaving you bare only in your underclothes
Erix's large palms pulls on the straps of your brassiere, leaving it to fall on the ground
Immediately, you cover yourself by wrapping your arms around your breasts
Behind you, you hear Erix taking off his trousers
"Tch, your weak struggling is only turning me on more..." With ease, Erix grabs your arms, pulling them away from your chest
As he slowly pushes you down on the grass, your crying starts to silence, quietly accepting your fate
"C'mon, sing for me, pretty.." one of Erix's textured-hands made their way on your breast fondling it, but you turn cold upon feeling something hot and hard rubbing on your ass
You let out a small gasp
"That's right, you'll start making noises again." He then grabs your underwear, pulling them down to your ankles, throwing them away. Erix's large hands grab the fat of your thighs, holding them up to spread your legs, and then grabs his long, hardened flesh, aligning it to your sweet entrance. With ease, he forces himself inside you
You were not prepared for the penetration. You've never experienced intercourse all your life, making the pain all but less painful. It didn't help that Erix's manhood was most likely much larger than an average human male. Your poor body bleeds and suffers from his harsh movements
The cries you suppressed earlier leak out again to a painful wailing
Helplessly, you lie on your side, continuously being pounded from behind
You hear Erix groaning louder and louder along with feeling his pace quickening, he then shifts up from his side to get on his knees and get more leverage and friction, both his hands grabbing the cheeks of your ass, slapping them making you cry uncontrollably
Your face is shoved on the grass. The push and pull was almost hurting your neck and hips. Then you felt it, a sudden feeling of warm fluid coursing inside you, slapping of skin to skin was the only sound heard along with carnal growls in the grassy field
As Erix's pace slows down, the moment you feared commenced, warm thick fluid enters your body, his seed. He keeps the lower half of you up in the air and doesn't pull out instead pushing his hips back and forth on yours to make sure you took it
He then turns you around. "Gotta make sure the job gets done right." This time, he rubs the remaining of his bodily fluids on your vagina, acting as a temporary lube, for your body still refuses to take in his length. Erix continues his violation on you, but this time, the pain lessened this round, and instead, you feel pleasure, turning your cries into moans. Finally, your pussy releases lube
While you watch with lidded eyes on the man fucking you, you get a good look at his naked body, hairy and toned. Damn you for finding him attractive, your eyes trail down to his cock disappearing and reappearing inside you, it was a miracle that you were taking him before you got wet
"Ahh...Erix..." you spoke his name for the first time and wrap your legs around his waist to feel every motion of his dick
"Hah.. you're coming around now, my flower, your body is taking mine in..." Erix firmly grips your hips and throws his head back, groaning each time his hips meet yours. You weren't even trying to match this pace anymore as he did all the work by using your body to his pleasure
He looks back down at you, face covered in dirt with such a erotic expression. He then looks at your bouncing tits, the beautiful mounds of flesh that would feed his children one day
The thought only turns him on more, and he speeds up, your eyes widen, and your moans get louder. Even though you still felt pleasure, Erix's brutal pace sent shocks of pains in your abdomen. The pain was enough for tears to form again. Your cries grab Erix's attention, and then you feel a wet and warm muscle on your cheek, Erix was licking your tears away
You once again feel the warmth from earlier inside you, but you are a fool to think he would stop here or the third time
Afterall, the night was still young. The forest and the stars above would bear witness to the savage violation of your body, the consummation of this twisted union
Hours upon hours passed of Erix's assault on your body, it had been long since you lost the will to fight back as it was useless against this beast who's blood was pulsing with sexual hormones and with the intention of impregnating you no matter what
Round after round, he never stopped, his stamina was endless. Until you finally feel him slowing his thrusting to a complete stop, you were dreading the moment he would start another harsh thrust inside you, but it never came
His slow and heavy breaths match yours, sweat was glistening off his body. Erix leans closer you, slightly pressing his weight on you. He then leaves gentle licks on your neck along with kisses while one of his hands grope one of your breasts gently fondling them
"Mine."
—--
It had been four months since Erix forced you to become his wife
As he planned, you fell pregnant with his child, he really had overdone himself that night, you still remembered the long cruel hours of him using your body as long as he pleased
Getting up from the bed, you've been craving raw meat these days, and Erix had just came back with a fresh kill
"Eat this, then our child will grow strong. It's in our tradition for expecting mothers to eat a deer's heart." Erix hands you a deer's heart, it grossed you out, yet the child inside you begged for it
Despite your child being a product of forced love, you couldn't bring yourself to hate the parasite growing inside you, the poor child had no control over who their parents were or how they were conceived. And so, you endured eating the heart for the sake of your baby
After finishing the heart with great difficulty, you clean yourself up and Erix places his hands on your now large waist
"Such a good mother you are, I knew you'd be the best woman to have my children."
Closing your eyes, you hold yourself from pushing Erix away and run away, you place your hands on your belly too but away from where Erix's hands were
While rubbing your belly, you think of your poor father, had he died? Had he recovered? But considering he was barely in good health while you were around, deep down it was most likely he had succumbed to his illness. The thought sent a tightness to your chest. 'I hope it's bright up there with mother...'
With a kiss on your temple, Erix pats your belly one last time before whispering in your ear "I'll be back, both of you take care." He then pulls away from you and makes his way out of the cottage
Emotionlessly, you waddle your way back to the bed
For being barely past your first trimester, your belly had grown so much already that you suspect your baby will be born earlier than human children. After all, the baby is half werewolf. They will most likely grow faster than the average human child as well.
Drowning in the furs on the bed, your hand mindlessly draws circles on your round belly, and you feel the baby kicking gently as if loving the attention they were receiving from their mother.
"You like that, don't you, little one? Your father did unspeakable things to me that led to your creation, but I will love you nonetheless." You smile fondly as your baby kicks again
Looking out the window of the cottage, the place had been a bit run-down when you first moved in, Erix made an effort to tidy up the place
"If you're a boy, I'm thinking of naming you after your grandpa. But if you're a girl, maybe your grandma? That's only if your father will let me have the naming rights." You chuckle to yourself, you will pull on Erix's ear if he doesn't let you name the child, especially since he's forcing you to have his children, he'd better let you name every child he puts in you
Sitting back up, you lean your back against the headboard, looking at your belly and wrapping your arms around it, the precious life you carry was your only source of joy in life now
While gazing out the window, the field of your front yard reminds of the same field you and mother would leisure in, perhaps you would spend time with your children there too. Then you remembered your mother's words, “One day you’ll meet that someone who gives you the butterflies and you’ll know they’re the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with.”, you close your eyes and take deep breaths
"Mother, he's the one."
He's the one who forced himself into your life
_____
Writing smut is fun wtf
Might make a pt 2 where Erix puts more babies in y/n and mayb fuck her in werewolf form 👀
I made the ending a bit fluffy and whether or not you wanna interpret Y/n having Stockholm syndrome it's up to you, but its good to note that she still resents Erix, but I rarely find fics where the reader genuinely cares for the baby, it's fair why they would resent the child but at the same time I feel bad for the kid 🫠🫠🫠
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wanderingsoul6261 · 9 months ago
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Credit for gif goes to userbeaufort
James Beaufort x Reader
Title: Distracted
Synopsis: James and Reader have an argument after she feels that he is being too overprotective. She gets injured during a volley ball game and he comforts and apologizes.
Warnings: mentions of blood/wounds
Sorry if volley ball is described inaccurately in the brief moment it's discussed. Last fic for about 24 to 48 hours. Decided to take some time off to rest up. Sinus infection had gotten worse. My ears are plugged and hurt. I have about 8 to 9 more requests, so more is definitely coming.
The fight that they had was just full of nonsense. At least, that was in regards to Y/N’s own opinions. James felt as if he was in the right, only wanting what was best for his girlfriend. He just wanted to make sure that she was safe. He thought that he was being overprotective. Y/N thought that it was that with a hint of jealousy. It was known though that neither of them could come to agreement on what it actually was. 
“Can you stop breathing down my neck, just for twenty four hours?” Y/N raised her voice slightly, turning to look at James. He had been following her around, making sure that she was okay and safe. She felt suffocated though, that if he continued to stick around that she would die due to lack of oxygen. 
“I just want to know that you are okay. Is that too much to ask for?” 
“Yea. It is actually, because if you stick around any longer, I might get arrested and charged with murder!” James paused his steps and stared at her. Confusion and slight anger was portrayed on his face. 
“What is your problem?” He asked. Y/N turned around, looking at him as if he just slapped her. And he might as well just have. 
“What is my problem? It’s you, James.” Now it was his turn to act as if he had just been slapped. James took a staggered step back, a look entirely of hurt and confusion the only thing to be seen on his face. 
“What?” Y/N had almost felt guilty, seeing the blow that she had just landed, even if she knew that all that he wanted to know was that she was safe. Instead, she had only stood her ground and raised her chin slightly in defiance. 
“You heard me.The problem is you.” James didn’t know how to react, and if they weren’t currently in the situation that they were in, Y/N might have felt proud to have put James in the state that he was currently in. “You’re suffocating me. I feel like I can’t breathe. I take a few steps in any direction and I’m knocking myself into you. And it’s constant, James. It’s like you’re being some possessive boyfriend. What’s next? You are going to start dictating who I can or can’t be friends with?” James did say anything. Honestly, he didn’t have much to say, so he only remained standing, averting his eyes from her gaze and looking anywhere else. His jaw clenched, but he knew that he couldn’t be mad at anyone but himself, even if he was angry at the current way she was speaking to him. 
“What?” Y/N questioned. “Cat got your tongue?” And just like that, James was gone, turning around on his heel and stomping down the hall. Y/N had felt nasty for the way that she had just treated him, but she also knew that she had to make her voice heard. She felt that there was no other way for her to have accomplished it in any other way than in that moment. 
—-
It had been a few days since the two of them had talked. Y/N had rightfully been angry and James himself had rightfully, even if he had deserved it, been upset and hurt. They had both mutually agreed that it was best to give each other some time to cool down and relax. The last thing that either one of them had wanted to do was come back and say anything that would be highly regretted. Not that Y/N didn’t already regret the way she snapped at James. She had honestly wished that she could just go back and choose a better way to have got about it. 
But the damage had been done, and the only thing that she could do now was wait until he had cooled down enough to talk.
In the meantime, Y/N had a volleyball game to prepare for in a few days, and she would be lying if she said that she was good to play. Even if it happened a few days ago, the argument was still fresh in her mind, and had been affecting her ability to focus well enough on the task of the game. 
No matter what happened, she could never stop thinking about him. 
Y/N had wondered if she should check in with them, considering their lack of conversations over the past few days. Her friends would easily tell her no and to let him stew in the moment. A few of them had even gone as far as to tell her to give him hints that she wanted to break it off, because it would quote, light a fire under his ass, unquote. But Y/N couldn’t do it. She wasn’t that brutal. However, she didn’t want to back out on her defense, knowing that her feelings were justified, and she didn’t want to do anything that might suggest otherwise. 
That didn’t change the amount of times that her finger hovered over the send buttons to numerous different messages. 
Im sorry 
Love you
I hope you are doing okay. Let’s talk soon. 
One of them consisted of just heart emojis. There were even times messages consisted of a mixture of those messages. 
Even as the volley game against a rival college was about to start, Y/N was doing just that. She sat on a bench in the locker room, biting her nail as she tried to make up her mind on whether or not to send the message. Y/N wasn’t even sure if he would show up tonight. 
I don’t know if you plan on coming to the game tonight. But I think we should talk soon. Y F/L/M initials 
She let out a heavy sigh, running her hand through her hair, finally pressing send. And then she waited for several moments, waiting to see if he would open and read it. When ten minutes passed and she was finally being yelled at for not being on the court yet, she figured that he was probably still mad at her. 
Y/N tossed her phone into her gym bag, leaving it at that. Which obviously, with the continued emotions only adding to inability to play the game. She should have told her coach, but yet, here she was, running out of the locker room and onto the court, her mind filled to the brim with thoughts and questions, and ultimately, him. 
The game though had surprisingly started out pretty okay. They were almost done with their first set when Y/N saw James walk into the gymnasium. They locked eyes momentarily, her heart fluttering. He showed her his phone, likely telling her that he had seen her message. But he still didn’t look too enthused. She swallowed thickly, turning back to the game when her name was called. The ball was just over her, and she jumped, spiking the ball over the net, scoring a point for Maxton Hall. 
As the team captain, she knew she had to keep her mind distraction free, but it was definitely easier said than done. They couldn’t do well if she wasn’t there. But even with that thought in mind, she still wasn’t doing well enough. Halfway through the game as a whole, everything in her mind, thinking about the argument, about him, and what might come of them after the game had gotten too much. 
She had the space and time to dive for the ball in front of her, hitting it up and over the net just in time before it hit the ball, none of the other girls close enough to hit it, They couldn’t take the risk. So she dove, and in the end, she almost wished that she didn’t. 
No matter what she did, she couldn’t stop herself from cracking her face against the floor. She laid there for what seemed like several minutes and wasn’t even sure if she hit the ball over the net. Instead, she heard the crowd murmuring silently, her teammates coming over to check on her. 
She lifted her head off the floor. Y/N saw the blood. She brought her hand to the left side of her face, feeling the wetness of the blood and gingerly touching the outline of a gash. Her head snapped up to meet James’ own panicked look. He was standing up from his seat, watching her, his eyes wide. It only took a few more seconds and her coach pressed a towel to the side of her head for him to come running down. Her ears were ringing by the time he made it to them. 
She watched as he spoke to her couch,  but her mind was so fuzzy that she couldn’t exactly find it in herself to make out what was being said. 
And then James was escorting her out of the school and towards Percy, where he was waiting for them. One arm was wrapped around her waist while the other was pressed to the towel currently on the wound. 
“We have to take her to the hospital, Percy. Nasty little cut on her forehead.” James spoke to his chauffeur as the two of them slid into the car. As the car got moving, the two sat in silence for several moments. 
“My phone is in my gym bag. Can you tell my parents where we are going?” she asked. He passed his phone to her, but as she grabbed it, he replaced his phone with his hand. 
“I want to say I’m sorry.” he spoke softly. Y/N looked at him in shock. “I shouldn’t have been acting the way that I was. It wasn’t right of me. I know you can look after yourself.” James turned his head to look at her. His eyes glanced at the place where the towel sat. 
“I should be the one apologizing.” His eyes snapped back to her. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way that I did. I know that you only want what is best for me, and snapping at you the way that I did wasn’t the best way to show my appreciation, no matter how mad I was.” Y/N explained. “I just hope that we can fix this and use it moving forward in our relationship as a reminder. That is, if you want.” 
“If I want? Just because we had an argument doesn’t mean you’re getting free of me.” He joked, a smile gracing his lips. “It’s only one of many that we will have in the coming future. Arguments aren’t avoidable.” Y/N gave him a smile, leaning into him. She went to press a kiss to his cheek, but he had turned his head enough to make her lips land on his own. They leaned into it, and Y/N could feel a cheeky smile grace his lips. 
When they pulled away, Y/N held his gaze. 
“Promise?” His cheeky smile turned into a soft one. 
“Promise.” 
taglist: @honethatty12 @lifeonawhim @ashamedtobewhitemanswhore27 @maryvibess @wheredidmyeyesgo @imasimptoowth @avada-kedavra-bitch-187
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leahrintarou · 4 months ago
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✩₊˚.⋆ OFFICE HOURS ONLY - kento nanami
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CW: afab!reader, stimulation/penetration, cunnilingus, pet name used is "sweetheart", unprotected sex, gojo mentioned as y/n's fuck buddy, female anatomy.
Word Count: 3.7k
Author's Note: HI GUYZ! this was a collab written by myself and my pookie: @satorusluvrgirl . we worked really hard on this and we're so incredibly proud on how it turned out. i hope you enjoy reading! leave a like and reblog to show support.
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WORKING hours and hours at the most famous company really had you fucking drained to the fullest. Getting up at 6 am to be at work at 8 and then going home at 11 pm. Your schedule was mostly full of just work on work on work. But the pay was good at least. And it’s not like you totally hated your job, there was one thing you really looked forward to every morning.
Which was Nanami Kento. The man who would always greet you when you would walk in the office, his “good morning, miss” would always hit the spot, making you look forward to the day. The man who welcomed you on your first day and took you out to get a coffee, little did you know he remembered it, taking you your coffee everyday. The man who would always try to make small talk with you in the break room and ask you little questions.
You knew since the first day you had a huge crush on Nanami. After all he was handsome, well put together, and very well dressed. The suits he had on which made him look so sexy in, they were always top designer suits. Which was understandable since he’s been working longer in this company than you and making more. You wanted Nanami. But the more you thought about him, it just made you more curious about him. is he married? does he have kids? what are his hobbies? but you never made your move. You put the thought in your head that a man like him was most likely married and probably had kids, oh but how you were so wrong.
Nanami was single. A hard working single man who was always working 24/7 and practically had no life other than this job. He never really thought of love. He was always stressed and had no time for anything. He wished he could find someone to relate to his problems. Someone who can probably help him and relieve all this stress he has in him. And he will.
NOW it was 9:30 pm on a Friday, you were working on a big project your boss assigned you, it wasn’t too bad but the first section you were done with. It was just the second section you had a struggle with. You had been working on this project for days, you even had to stay overtime. You set your pencil down and sighed, leaning on your chair. Since you were going to be extending your stay at the office tonight, you thought you should get coffee, italian coffee of course. You grabbed your mug, making your way to the break room which was not too far from your office.
But of course Nanami was in there, He turned his head over to you and flashed a smile. “hello y/n”. you smiled back at him, “hi nanami” you said softly, your voice ringing in his ears. You walked in the room making your way to the coffee machine and pouring it in your mug, your back faced to Nanami. “How’s your project coming along? I see you’re staying overtime to finish it?” he leaned over the counter, taking a sip out of his mug.
you let out a chuckle, “yeah I am.. I got done with the first section of it.. it’s just the second part. i’m just so stressed” you sighed. “i’m sorry about that.. but you know I can always give you a helping hand” nanami offered to you. Maybe this could be your chance to get to know him better, but you knew how stressful it could be so you didn’t want him to help you. “uhm no nanami it’s okay really.. I really appreciate the offer though” you nodded. “I don’t take no for an answer, y/n” he said in a serious tone.
“are you really sure?” you looked at him sincere. “yes of course” he nodded, you sighed. “fine, uhm i’ll go over to your office once everyone starts heading out.” he put his coffee mug down to add more creamer, “sure thing”, you smiled and started walking out, “alright thanks nanami! i’ll see you later” you said before leaving the room.
You let out a breath you held in while talking to him, as you got to your office you squealed lowly to yourself in excitement. It was finally your time with Nanami alone. Just you two, no one else in the office.
AS the time passed you grew impatient, you wanted to be with Nanami, and finally the time came. You fixed up yourself in the bathroom mirror. Lifting up your skirt and fixing your blazer, along with your hair. You also fixed up your makeup since you had your bag with you, you added more of your lipstick and gloss on your lips. You got your perfume and sprayed all over your body.
Looking in the mirror you fixed up a little more. You left the bathroom and gathered your things, heading to Nanamis office. You took a deep breath and knocked on his door which you heard him say “Come in!” you slowly opened the door and slid in. “hi” you said with a small wave making Nanami smile. “here come take a seat” he patted the seat next to him by his desk. you took your seat, you opened up your computer and pulled out the section you had to work on for the project. Nanami pulled your chair closer to him making you widened your eyes.
“Sorry I couldn’t see your screen” he said. You nervously chuckled, “i’m sorry about that”. You turned your computer to him. “It’s fine, let’s get to work shall we?” you smiled and nodded. “yes, let’s do it..”
An hour had past by, you and nanami quickly opened up to each other. Just like how you hoped for. He was telling you everything you wanted to know, To his hobbies, to his favorite ice cream color. You were admired by him, the way he talked about his passions with you. It just made you fall for him even more.
Nanami wasn’t really the type to open up quickly or even talk, but with y/n it was different. She was different. She was a breath of fresh air and that’s something Nanami needed in his life. Y/n made him feel at ease. He felt like he could talk to her without being judge, vice versa with her as well. Not only that Nanami always noticed y/n. She was very hot. But he thought she had a boyfriend, a girl like her was probably in a relationship. he was wrong like how you were.
“Alright I think that’s the last of it” Nanami typed the final words in and sent in an email to the boss. “thank you nanami I really appre-” you got cut off by a notification on your phone, making you both look down as your phone was placed in between you both. Giving Nanami access to see your phone clearly and so did you.
GOJO: haven’t seen you in a while, angel. can I see you tonight?
“boyfriend?” Nanami looked away from the phone to you. You looked at him at the same time, “no he’s just a friend”. Nanami raised his brow at you, he wasn’t convinced. “friends send each other those kin-” once again your phone rang and it was gojo again…
GOJO: [attachment image] (dick pic)
“Friends send each other those type of messages and pictures?” Nanami teased. You turned off your phone, “it’s not like that..” you sighed. “you’re not going to reply?” you shakes your head no, of course not why would you reply when your with the man who you’ve been dying to spend time with.
“I'm just too stressed to be dealing with him right now” you closed your computer. “I could help with that.” Nanami smirked and put his hands on your thighs “h-huh?” you stuttered in disbelief but as you turned your head a bit, all that you saw was the genuine expression on his features.
Although you weren't too familiar with Nanami all that well, you couldn’t help but feel sure that he wasn’t the type to play games. His serious demeanor combined with that smirk hinted at a depth you found irresistible.
“Y-You could help?” you echoed, your heart racing as his hand lingered on your thigh. It was a bold move, and you were torn between excitement and nerves.
“Just a little stress relief,” he said, his voice low, leaning slightly closer. “Sometimes we need more than just coffee to unwind.”
You swallowed hard, searching his eyes for any hint of insincerity. But all you saw was a desire that mirrored your own. “What do you have in mind?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Nanami chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Well, we could start by talking about what you really want,” he replied, brushing his thumb gently against your skin.
The heat radiating from his touch sent shivers down your spine. “I... I want to know you better,” you admitted, your heart pounding. “But I don’t want to complicate things.”
He leaned back slightly, giving you a searching look. “Complication can lead to something beautiful,” he said, his tone earnest. “And right now, I think we both need a break from this endless cycle of work.”
"I guess you could say that."
Nanami hummed at your word, his hand sliding a bit more up your thigh. you heart thumped against your chest and you were sure that if you released your body from it's tense state, it would beat right through your chest. "now," he began, making you look up at him, your eyes locked on each others.
"tell me your answer to my previous question, y/n."
"what i want?" you question. it seemed like you were making sure that you understood what he meant, but in actuality, you already knew. you just needed some kind of excuse to give yourself time to think and answer the question properly without making a complete fool of yourself. he nodded, sitting up properly in his seat.
"i just need a break from this project. that's all." you finally confessed. although it was the truth, it wasn't the entirety of it. "then lets take one. I'm sure thirty minutes won't hurt."
"just thirty?" you questioned, eyes widening at his next word. "what? you think it'll take longer for me to get you to feel good?" his fingertips finally grazed your clothed sex with a careful motion. your body jolted just barely, but with the way Nanami's gaze was on you, he of course noticed it.
"relax for me, sweetheart. this is supposed to help you feel better." he twisted his wrist slightly, allowing the pads of his middle and ring finger to press against your clothed bud. you let out a shaky breath and as he applied more pressure, the feeling only increased. "you know, there's a few people down the hall." he muttered, using his freehand to turn your chair so that you'd face him. "all had the same idea as us to stay after hours and finish up some work."
Nanami mentioned this on purpose. he knew where he wanted to get with this and you began to pick up on it too when he began massaging circular motions against your sensitive bud. "as much as i want to hear the beautiful sounds you make, you have to be quiet, okay?" he features softened and you so badly wanted to feel relaxed by it, but the more he continued, the harder you'd bite down on your bottom lip to suppress the slipping whimper.
you shook your head, holding his gaze and moving your hand to grip his wrist. "Nanami-" he only sped up his movements, and this time you couldn't help but let out an audible moan. the fabric of your panties only gave you more friction. his hands were skillful and heavy in a way that you couldn't even begin to explain. "that's going to be a problem, y/n." he spoke, his voice snapping you out of your small daze along with the fact that he stopped his movements.
"what is?" you asked, uneasy not just by his words, but his tone as well. he couldn't have just played you and decided against you guys' dangerous idea, right? that wasn't like Nanami, but when you thought deeper, you realized that maybe it was. afterall, you didn't know him all that well. "oh, don't sound so heartbroken sweetheart." he said, a small frown on his lips at your despairing expression.
"i-i'm sorry." you quickly said, shifting a bit to get out of his grasp, but he stopped you with a hand against the arm of your chair. "that's not it. you've got the wrong idea, y/n. i meant that you can't make such sounds. so loudly, at that."
confusion struck you just as hard as the realization. you weren't thinking straight at all. call it the stress, fatigue, or lust, but it was all scrambling your train of thought and it was obvious since you hadn't even noticed the fact that Nanami was guiding you to stand as he still sat. he pulled you closer to him, one of his knees making its way between your parted legs. "take a seat, sweetheart. I've got a solution to that vocal mouth of yours."
you followed his words and took a seat right on his thigh, your legs straddling either side. Nanami admired you deeply and lustfully, yet he was able to keep his composure. you on the other hand, couldn't help but grind down just a bit at the lack of attention that you needed in certain areas. Nanami quirked an eyebrow at your actions, and while you wanted to feel regret for your impatience, you couldn't.
it simply felt too good.
"please touch me again, Nanami." you muttered, the feeling of yearn coming to you when you glanced at his hand that rested against your thigh. he only lifted your skirt, pushing the item further up to reveal your clothed sex. "let's keep you quiet for a bit, okay?" he muttered, his freehand meeting with your nape to pull your face down closer to his. your lips met after a small pause and Nanami pulled you in in mere seconds.
this new position allowed you to press your bud against his thigh and for Nanami to use his other hand to reach around you and pulling your panties to the side. the tips of his digits traced up and down your slit, making you moan into his mouth. he retreated his fingers just as swiftly and planted both of his hands on your waist, firmly gripping your flesh as a sigh fell onto your tongue.
you parted your lips as his tongue slid against your own. he griding your sex against his thigh, using your hips to control your body. a whimper escaped from you but he devoured it just in time for it to only be muffled. "I've needed you for so long, y/n."
this caught you off guard. you could've never imagined that Nanami would think such a thing and better yet say it to you. "everyday you show up to work, i can't help but drive myself insane just by thinking about you." he groaned, firmly holding your hips in place as he pulled back to look down at his slacks.
the dampened area just beneath your sex sent a wave of embarrassment over you and Nanami only let out a strained groan as he adjusted the growing tent of his lap. "stay quiet and make a mess for me, yeah?" you nodded to his words. "can you use your fingers again, Nanami?" the question was laced with impatience. you missed the feeling of his digits and he knew that. he motioned with your panties, lifting you with ease to remove the now bothersome article of clothing.
"anything you need, sweetheart. the purpose of this is to take some of that stress off of you afterall." Nanami wasted no time to guide his fingers to your sex, slowly inserting his fingers as you leaned forward to let out a moan into his shoulder. he withdrew them once before inserting them again. each time felt better than the last and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around him as he pleased you better than you could even imagine.
you had a strong attraction to Nanami and it's lasted for weeks now. you'd always have theses fantasies about him whether you wanted to or not and neither of them could beat the standard that he was setting. "can't wait to feel you around me, sweetheart." his voice was low, rugged, and you could tell that his patience was slipping. if yours could be slipping and you were the center of his attention, you couldn't imagine how much he was holding back right now.
you saw the strain of his slacks. the way the material showed no mercy to hide the outline of his erection. "we don't have to wait." you finally spoke, pushing yourself up to hold his gaze. "please." you pled, using your hand to cup his jaw. he tried to read your expression, but the lust overpowered everything else.
you reached for his belt, undoing it and following that by unpinning the button of his slacks. in a swift movement, you pulled away his pants and his briefs, the last drop of patience leaving your being at the sight of him. you shifted when Nanami removed his fingers from your sex and in an attempt to finally get what you both wanted, you were stopped by Nanami as he grabbed your hand that was reaching for his length. "patience, sweetheart. take it slow. i don't want to hurt you."
"i can take it. please, Nanami." you couldn't count how many times that word had left your mouth tonight. Nanami gave you everything you asked for, yet you couldn't help but want more. all of him. despite your words, he knew that lust could be blinding so he shook his head, tone stern now. "slowly, y/n." he said.
a small pout was on you lips and he reached his hand up to your face, using his thump to swipe away your messed lip-gloss. "don't give me that look, sweetheart. i know you can take it. I'm not going anywhere until you feel satisfied so there's no rush." you nodded at his reassurance and he placed a supported hand underneath your thigh, helping you balance a bit better.
you kept yourself up on your knees as he gripped his length in a fist, holding your gaze as his tip prodded your entrance. he gently released your thigh just a bit, allowing you to sink down to engulf him with your warmth. he let out a moan through panting breaths, the thought of the people just down the hall leaving both of you guys' mind.
you let out a swear at the entirely new feeling and Nanami gently gripped your jaw so that you'd face him and hold his lustful gaze. he lowered you to sink down on him, both his and your lips parting as you let out a moan of pleasure. "you're so perfect like this, sweetheart." he managed to get out, his eyes admiring the way all of his length disappeared into your sex. he felt pure bliss and you clearly felt the same, given the way that your loudening whimpers began to heighten.
"yeah, you're handling it so well." he groaned as she tightened around him. Nanami help her hips, aiding her in riding him since she was too overstimulated to continue on her own. "so much." you mumbled as you leaned in to place a kiss to his jawline. he sighed from the action of affection and y/n began letting out smooth moans as he slowly lifted you from his length before your skin met with his lap once again.
"make a mess for me, sweetheart. i want to see how good I'm making you feel." he encouraged. you used whatever remains of energy you had to grind against him as you slick began to pool at the base of his erection. he gave you more, and like you have been when it comes to Nanami, all you could think was more. he knew this. he felt it in the way your movements sped up and heightened in incoordination.
he allowed it to happen for a period of time, but immediately stopped you when your moans grew. the whine that left your mouth came straight from your chest, making Nanami feel guilt immediately. "Nanami, why'd you stop? please don't stop." you whined, voice sounding like a broken cry. "i have to, sweetheart. you'll cum if i keep going and i can't have that because i want to taste you when you do."
with that, he quickly lifted you both from his seat and placed you to take his pace instead. he groaned as his length left the warmth of your sex. before you could retaliates, his knees met with the office's carpet and he wrapped both of his arms around your thighs, keeping your legs parted before he leaned in, his lips wrapping around your bud in seconds. a pleasureful whine escaped from your chest and his tongue gathered your arousal, the sweet taste urging him to grip his length with a desperate fist. he groaned into your sex and he placed a stripe of your own arousal against your bud.
his lips latched around the sensitive area as his tongue showed you no messy despite your cries and pleas. you were getting what you wanted which was more.
"Nanami i-i'm-" your breath hitched in your throat. your legs threated to close around his head but he was firm with his grip, holding you in place. "close?" he finished your sentence. "i know. cum on my tongue, sweetheart. please."
without another beat, you did just that, your arousal coating his tongue in just mere seconds. your body jolted and shivered against him and Nanami continued past your limits. your moans filled the room and Nanami released an arm form around your thigh and used his hand to grip his length, moaning as he brought himself to his own high. his cum spurted onto the fabric of his slacks and onto his thigh.
your panting breaths were in quiet harmony with one another and you glanced at Nanami with a dazed expression. he stood up, checking the watch on his wrist before leaning down to your face.
"we made good time, sweetheart. thirty minute break was well spent."
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all credits go to @leahrintarou & @satorusluvrgirl :D
Taglist: @nemoo888 @delicatexmoonchild @flowerpjimin @tedcruzumakii @sugacor3 @selysixn @mitsuyas-version @matchaismylove @cyberrthegreat @ivydoesit23 @riririntaro @ilovechickfilasauce @sincerelyzee @daydreamteardrop @satorusluvrgirl @tired-jaz
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ariathelamia · 8 months ago
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Lamia HRT Page 1
TW: Hate comments, mentions of suicide.
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I cant believe it!! I actually finished it! The first page <3 I had so much fun drawing this!! It is a bit of a darker start, but it's kind off the same way i broke my shell back in the day^^ only that the people that helped me were friends that i was constantly talking to~
I am super proud of myself that i was able to get to this point already~ Art has been... a bit tough for me... something i will maybe get into in a later post.
Hope you enjoy this first page! Next one will probably have a few less panels.. 9 was a bit of a stretch for a first EVER comic page xD
Thank you for @ayviedoesthings for starting out this beautiful idea!!
Another BIG thanks to @nyxisart who also helped me out with some questions and is featured in a panel here~ Her dog HRT comic is so awesome! Definitely go check it out!!
I will try my best to make this a weekly to bi-weekly thing, but i cant promise anything.
Anyway one thing i have to add... is a little meme that my friend spottet while shading...
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girlwithrituals · 4 months ago
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20 NIGHT JOURNAL PROMPTS TO CLEAR YOUR MIND BEFORE BEDTIME
1. what's on my mind right now?
2. how am i feeling right now?
3. write down one word to describe my day (calm or hectic, productive or unproductive, etc.) and write a sentence about it (today was calm because i did my morning routine and that helped me stay in the present moment)
4. what am i grateful for today?
5. emotions i felt today include...
6. what did i do today to make myself proud?
7. what did i learn about myself today?
8. what is something I accomplished today, big or small, and how did it make me feel?
9. something that bothered me today was...
10. how did I handle any stress or anxiety that came up today?
11. have i done anything to make someone else happy today?
12. write one thing that made me feel loved today.
13. what do i want to take from today into tomorrow?
14. what's my word for tomorrow?
15. what would i like tomorrow to bring me?
16. if i could change one thing about my behavior today, what would it be?
17. what is a meaningful conversation I had today and why did it stand out?
18. what are my top three priorities for tomorrow?
19. what's one thing I can do to improve tomorrow based on today's experiences?
20. how do i want to feel when i wake up tomorrow morning?
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