#i still miss him so much
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🤍🖤
#priismart#vocaloid#hatsune miku#wowaka#this is a little late but i really wanted to draw something wowaka related this year#i still miss him so much
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someday if someone held my head in their hands and pressed their forehead against mine. I think that would fix me
#my dog won't even let me do it to him 😔 my cat used to. and he would purr so loudly#i still miss him so much#ari speaks
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Thoughts at 10am...
Fun fact, I sometimes slip up and call @all-the-w-ness Mystic. After 20+ years it’s habit that when someone knocks something off the counter, or does something dangerous, or is just standing in the way while I’m trying to cook... I yell “Mystic no!” or “Mystic Move!”
It takes a heartbeat to realize it’s W not Mystic because honestly, they act so much a like!
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#tw talking about my dead dad#it was my dads birthday on the 11th and this was the the first time in 9 years that I didnt dread it#it didnt define my day and make me so depressed i couldnt function#i still miss him so much#but recently i read through all of our messages#and he said so many times how proud of me he was#which is something i always question#and i think it really did a lot for my healing#he would be in his early 70s now which is absolutely fucking wild to think about#but it seems like every time i miss him and think of him#an eagle flies by to let me know hes there#grief is just so wild#like it never truly gets better (at least in my experience) but i've learned to live around it#to realize that i was a brand new baby adult when he died and i just powered through the first 6/7 years of grief#because i wanted everyone else to not worry about me#because to me strength could only be found burried in stoicism#but now i let myself cry about all the things#and its more healing to cry and know i'll be fine than to hold it all in for everyone forever#i miss my dad and i can cry about it and that doesnt say shit about who i am or my strength#and i dont have to wallow in it to prove how much it fucked me up either#idk man#growth is wild and beautiful and hard and grief is the same
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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happy birthday techno!!! we miss you
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#i miss you so much king you literally saved me and my brother's life#he was there during my hardest times even though I only got to talk to him for a little through skyblock </3#i hope that skyblock cake is still fresh for you king#technoblade#technoblade art#techno art#technoblade fanart#techno fanart#birthday#fenmorre art#digital art#digital drawing#fanart#digital illustration#illustration#technoblade25
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times like this i wish i could talk to my ex
#its been wild not having him to talk to these last few months#i still miss him so much#so many things remind me of him and its like been instinct to always message him or send him whatever post that reminded me of him#wtf
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still a menace
#LET THIS BOY BE THE PYROMANIAC I KNOW HE STILL IS#hes still insane he just hides it better now#need him to go ham in chaos theory. i miss wild child#u guys ive been so inspired the last couple days. i just cant stop drawing#expect much more doodles in the week to come#jwcc#jwct#camp cretaceous#chaos theory#jurassic world#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jurassic world chaos theory#ben pincus#yasmina fadoula#yaz fadoula#sammy gutierrez#kenji kon#jurassic world: camp cretaceous#jurassic world: chaos theory#my art#livsmessydoodles#livsmessydoodlez#jwctcountdown
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(late) day 4: underappreciated oc. i looked through all my active ocs and i haven't drawn mumbojumbo balderdash in years at this point...my bad, little sock thing. it's largely because i'm more interested in my serious story ocs at this point, and mumbojumbo is from my developing kid's books era. and also i think my old style suited em better, i find them harder to draw nowadays
#my art#oc#mumbojumbo#my sock puppet dragon hydra beast thing#STILL think this could make a great kid's book character....i need to redevelop my missing socks book idea#wellyboot also comes from that book idea but he's just my guy nowadays. and also i have another idea for a kid's book for him#i have so much stuff i want to do....good lird#oc-tober#bweirdoctober
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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Happy birthday Stephen Sondheim
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2024 Brazilian GP | x
#franco colapinto#autumn posts#I'm so conflicted about all the rumors!!#I want him to have a spot for 2025!! but rbr is kinda falling apart!! and we've seen how especially callous they can be 😢#I miss Daniel so much 🥺 I've been on my usual insta dives and everytime I see vcarb I still pause out of habit#still I agree with so many folks that its good he got away from rbr who never were going to give him the respect and opportunities!!#so I worry for Franco!!!#and poor Max gosh this FiA balogna and the car just not performing 🥲#tbh I've been hiding in like 2017 posts just soaking up content I missed from bygone days!#I spam my sideblog verstappen100 if anyone wants like mostly Daniel throwback yearning hehe 🙂↕️#idk the vibes feel off this GP especially so like...idk how to explain it!!#but anyways I think I'm just new and I'm sick irl so just kinda stewing in the feels#nothing some gifs can't fix 🙂↕️#and I have to work tomorrow 🥲 but then!!! freedom!!!#anyways just rambling...#I like to hide in the tags and the side blog but I know that#hiding how I feel is blocking me from making true connections in fandom!!#I worry I'll say something silly or something#but maybe I should be more brave instead of hiding#oh anyways!!!#if you're reading all this!! thank you! hehe nothing huge just feeling dumping before slumber 😴#I hope all is well!!#sending good energy out to Franco on such a hard weekend#and to Daniel hopefully chilling and dreaming up something excellent 💞#and to y'all!! have a good night morning and afternoon!! 🌙☀️☁️#going to add a few more photos before I go!!
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#mystic messenger#saeran choi#mystic messenger saeran#schmellows#hello mysme fandom are u still alive#i miss him so much#mystic messenger ray
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I need the pokemas anniversary to come soon so we can hopefully see volo go batshit crazy again for the second time!!!
#please please please give us a volo and giratina alt I BEG YOUUUU @ pokemas writers and devs 😭😭😭😭😭#his expression range is INSANE like. how can he look so unhinged because he made a deal with the devil but look so HOT while he's at it!!!#particularly the last screenshot... those wide crazed eyes... oooooh game freak was cooking and the kitchen exploded in a fire i fear#a.k.a they cooked so hard that this whole sequence will Haunt me the rest of my life like cynthia's piano intro for sure#also have i mentioned that he's so hot. how the hell does he do that#it's 12 am and i just woke up from a super long nap and i just miss him so much... i need to see him in pokemas or the mainline game again#gawd yeah i'm still obsessed with the last screenshot. never in a million years would i expect to see someone who looks like cynthia use#an expression like that... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love pla so much you guyssss#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon wielder volo#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon#pla#pokemon: legends arceus#hisui
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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