#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[tojbnuy]

since you guys are asking sooo nicely here is a part 3 teehee. part 1 part 2 . art by @ _3aem on twt!!

bestfriend!satoru who’s always buying you new jewelry. esp with your initials on them, you’ve got bracelets and necklaces in golds and silvers because he knows you like both.

bestfriend!satoru who calls you at night and will always convince you to turn it into a facetime. he doesn’t think you realize just how appealing you look with your hair down, big glasses on and a thin strapped pyjama top. said straps falling down your shoulder as your busy talking and he’s trying so hard to listen but how can he when your tits just look so good and from this angle he’s got a clear view. ‘toru are you listening?’ ‘yeah pretty carry on’

bestfriend!satoru who hates it but finds himself feeling slightly insecure when you’re engaged in conversation with nanami. he knows nanami can actually converse with you about the books you read and some of the movies you watch, something satoru’s been meaning to catch up on so you could have these conversations with him instead. he’s complaining to suguru as nanami hugs you goodbye and everything just gets worse when you walk over with the most adorable smile only to tell him that nanami was taking you to the theatre. why the fuck do you want to go to the theatre?

bestfriend!satoru who knows how childish it is but the next time nanami is in the room satoru has you pressed up against his body, his hands firmly gripping your ass as he looks dead into nanamis eyes. ‘ouch toru too hard’ ‘so sorry pretty girl your ass is just too perfect’

bestfriend!satoru who asks you for lip balm but he always means he’s going to kiss it off of you. plenty of times he’s left with your lip combo pressed onto his lips and chin.

bestfriend!satoru who places a blanket over the two of you when your friends are over. his index finger playing with the hem of your tiny shorts. when he sees you listening too closely to nanamis boring ass stories he grabs a handful of your shorts and hikes it up until the crotch is pressed directly against your clit. he smirks at the hiss that leaves you . ‘y/n you okay?’ spoken aloud and now everyone’s staring at your flushed cheeks and the firm grip you have on his bicep.

bestfriend!satoru who is mean and he knows he is but he can’t stand it when you go all quiet with him. he noses at your cheek and presses little kisses all over your eyelids as you try to keep a stern face. ‘sorry baby it was an accident, let me kiss it better?’

bestfriend!satoru who has an obsession with your lips. yes he may be obsessed with many things about you but your lips are truly his kryptonite they are his downfall. he cuts you off mid sentence a lot just to give them a quick peck. sometimes he even licks them cos he’s a perv. ‘toru you can’t keep doing that’ ‘but why baby? i just find you too cute’

bestfriend!satoru who smiles like a loser when you include him in your monthly photo dumps.

bestfriend!satoru who adores when you seem equally as annoyed when he gets female attention. he’ll elongate it for the fun of it sometimes just so you’ll get mad and that means you’ll probably be sleeping at his house tonight. you know because everyone else is wasting his time.

bestfriend!satoru who bites random parts of your body. your tummy is a frequent victim. sometimes when you’re on the phone and his head is laying your lap he’ll turn over and bite your tummy. then your thighs. sometimes fingers too.

bestfriend!satoru who is a ‘where my hug at’ warrior. as soon as he enters the function he expects a big hug from you. and if he doesn’t get one he is at you in a heartbeat ‘baby where’s my hug?’ and his hands are roamingggg all over you, not an inch of you untouched.

bestfriend!satoru who knows sometimes all you need is a little reassurance. no one gets you like he does and sometimes you truly just need to hear His voice telling you you’re okay. sometimes you crave him just like he constantly craves you.

bestfriend!satoru who drags his index finger across your lips as you sleep. sometimes even sticks his thumb between your parted lips.

part 4 !!

tag list : @haruhatake @moncher-ire @startwithrecords @ranatherealestsigma @chjinua @whozeurdaddy @sukuxna0 @purp1eha1o @tibibibi123 @jjkysnk @missthatgirl @greensunflowerjuna @macchiatoast @suechii

[vasilissadragomir]

people often use snow’s experiences with lucy gray as an explanation for how he engages with katniss, but i think that the true story of his downfall lies not in how lucy gray and katniss are similar, but rather in how they are different.

snow knew that it was never him that made the games what they are. it was lucy gray, with her scrappy, passionate artistry, that put on the show that kept people watching. more importantly, it was lucy gray that put on the show that kept HIM watching. all he ever did was give her the stage.

ergo, snow recognizes that the person with the power to usurp him is his natural counterpart, someone like lucy gray, who possessed both the charisma and humanity that he sorely lacks. however, in his mind, those traits are not real; they’re performed in order to obtain power. how could he know better, when he’s never experienced them himself, and the only person he ever truly believed possessed them betrayed him?

so snow keeps his eye out for performers, people with gravitas who could capture the heart of the nation, and squashes their spark as soon as he can. people like haymitch. people like finnick.

and that’s where snow goes wrong. he doesn’t see katniss’ similarities to lucy gray from the start, because while they both demonstrate astonishing, intriguing bravery at their reapings, their actions and motivations are completely different. lucy gray is motivated to perform by anger for herself, and katniss is motivated to sacrifice herself by fear for her sister.

but then katniss starts to put on a show for the audience, kissing peeta and being willing to die with the berries at the end of the 74th games. snow starts to see an entirely different side of katniss that resembles lucy gray to a concerning degree. he sees how, with peeta at her side, she could beguile the nation the same way lucy gray had. and, even worse, she was using the poor, helpless boy who had the misfortune of falling in love with her to survive. the moment katniss started performing, he finally sees lucy gray within her. but it’s already too late.

by catching fire, katniss is the spark fanning the flames of the resistance, but snow fails to understand why. as far as he’s concerned, katniss’ star power comes from her connection to peeta. he tries to weaponize their “love” for his own gain, but it doesn’t work, not because people don’t believe that she loves peeta, but because, for the first time, a victor offers their winnings to the family of a fallen tribute.

snow is caught in a catch 22 of seneca crane’s making—if he kills katniss, she becomes a martyr. but if he lets her live, she’ll be a revolutionary icon. either way, she’s the spark. so he has no choice but to allow the spark to flicker, just for a little while. enter the 75th games. snow knows he needs katniss to die a tragic death in the games. more specifically, he needs it to be a brutal death at the hands of a tribute, not the gamemakers, because he understands that as long as the districts see the capitol as the one who ended the life of katniss everdeen, she’ll still be a martyr.

but snow still doesn’t get it. in the quarter quell, the prey does not become predator. katniss’ allies protect her, ensuring she survives until district 13 rescues her. why would they protect this girl, assuming such a steep personal risk? why would they put everything on the line for a revolution they personally stand to benefit little from? he doesn’t know. but he does know that lucy gray katniss is at the center of it all, so he tries to eliminate what makes her look best: peeta.

and that is snow’s fatal mistake. what he, coin, and everyone but haymitch fail to understand is that it was never peeta that made katniss look good—it was katniss, who befriended and put faith in rue. katniss, who recruited mags, wiress, and beetee as allies. she is the source of revolutionary inspiration. it isn’t her charisma or even her compassion, and it certainly isn’t how well she performed those virtues.

katniss becomes the mockingjay because of her solidarity.

lucy gray was charismatic, like peeta, and compassionate, like both peeta and katniss, but she did not demonstrate solidarity. she was never truly “district” in the way katniss is. she showed kindness to jessup, not because he was from 12, but because he showed kindness to her. lucy gray left behind everything and everyone she loved when she left coriolanus, because she was first and foremost a survivor.

katniss was a survivor her whole life, but she survives exclusively to ensure the people she loves are protected. she always does what she can for people more vulnerable than herself. lucy gray couldn’t have sparked a revolution on her own because she lacked the solidarity that makes a hope for a better future authentic to others. katniss is the human manifestation of solidarity, and to a people divided by a common enemy, that’s the most inspiring thing a person can be.

only in the end, when katniss shoots coin, does snow realize none of it was a performance. choking on the blood of his countless adversaries, snow’s final moments are consumed by what he got wrong. what made lucy gray and katniss different ends his reign, but ironically, the final nail in his coffin is an act that both lucy gray and katniss share in their last moments with snow. they both prove, unequivocally, that he is not the center of their worlds like they are his. lucy gray put her own survival before her love for him, and katniss puts the future of her nation before her hate for him. in the end, he simply doesn’t matter. and that’s greater justice than could have ever been achieved if katniss had fired her arrow into his heart.

the greatest enemy to coriolanus snow could only be the person who reignited the embers of a dying revolutionary fire, who demonstrated to a broken people that while one spark alone might not be enough, thousands of sparks uniting in solidarity is an unbeatable force.

and really, he should have known better. after all, even when snow lands on top, fire melts snow.

[kroosluvr]

january 9

ok i have a lot of thoughts. erm. buckle in

im sure everyone agrees that the joker vs sumire fight on jan 9 was so nothing..... so i wanted to raise the stakes. UP THE ANTE.

so to make it more intense life-and-death situation, in my head sumire basically tosses her own life away at joker in a "one of us is gonna die here and honestly? i dont care which way the cards fall"

"either i die here -> sumire doesn't have to live anymore. or, i kill you and i get my true reality (and sumire doesn't have to live anymore.)"

joker notices this immediately, by the wild way she fights all of a sudden. however crow doesn't notice bc i think he sees sumire as inexperienced and just assumes joker will win by default (like he does in canon. nothingburger fight.....)

but joker is too damn cautious, knowing one wrong move might result in her demise or his downfall...

i think here he only deflects with his melee, doesn't even try to summon his personas. crow notices smth is off and then sumire manages to get a deep hit on him w cendrillon+her sword

which activates crow bc. at this point he dgaf abt sumire BUT he doesnt want joker to die.

(ironically, crow's selfish goal to Help Joker helps sumire bc she then realizes that she's being irrational/hurting one of her dear friends (akira).. she didnt really think abt how this choice of the ideal reality would affect him (or goro)

also i always thought crow just walking away frm that fight was kinda lame so. just the idea of akira Faltering... about to let himself get killed.. in a way Giving In to the Wrong Choice of the ideal reality.... yeah that'd piss him off BIG time

(though, if i framed it in the way this comic does, crow walking away at first to let joker handle it is so real. bc hes like i cant be wasting time on this, just let akira handle her and then we can go back to figuring out how to conquer this palace and maruki etc. Sumire is small potatoes rn)

also akira being too compassionate/sensitive abt her emotions to fight her directly bc he can see how shes barely hanging on by a thread.. ough ough ough.....

but also sumire being so angry and desperate that she dgaf if she hurts akira rn. OHHHH OUCHHH OWIE

also this is the scene i showed in the bg of this comic! (sorry twitter link im lazy

"she'd rather die at our hands than her own" implying if she lost here and didnt die, she'd kill herself upon returning to the True reality bc she cant live with "sumire" anymore. okkk.. yeah

"This is the only way. I know you know that too, Joker" -> the only way back to our reality as we know it. we can't afford to be soft if it'll kill us. if this is truly sumire's choice, then we HAVE to fight. we can't back down here.

(and, also, this is the only way to show sumire that we're serious: we won't let her live as kasumi, she has to face herself, she can't run off to some dystopian ideal reality - this is the only way!!!!!)

Dying's easy. we already know sumire would die to become kasumi, to become a better gymnast, to not be sumire anymore. But would she kill for it. Who would she kill for it

[maximumqueer]

Luffy not wanting to be viewed as a hero is actually so important to me. Because while the first reasoning we get for this is him not wanting to share his food

We also learn later on that Luffy also doesn't want to be viewed as a savior, nor does he ever want to present himself as such. He doesn't want to be placed on a pedestal or (ironically) be deified by the people he helps.

At the end of Fishman island, he was fully ready to leave without fanfare because he did not want to be treated by the people in that way, and only agrees to stay because he is promised food. The same thing happens at the end of Wano, where he refuses to take any credit for the downfall of Kaido and instead simply enjoys the festival with everyone else.

I cannot overstate how much I love this decision for Luffy as a character. It is incredibly common for stories like Fishman Island and Wano to have the main character swoop in and save the oppressed people, with said character being to sole person to rally them and "teach" them how to fight back. We don't get that with Luffy.

In Fishman Island, he tells the people that its up to them to decide whether or not he is their friend or foe instead of swooping in playing the role of the hero. In Wano, he understands to importance of who begins the fight with Kaido, and stands back to let the Red Scabbards (Wano natives) get the first major hit on Kaido

Even in the prison when Luffy gives his speech, he is asking the people to let him help, to have faith that they and their country can be free again, to fight for the freedom that had been cruelly stripped away from them. And even then, it is Momo and members of the Red Scabbards that fully restore the Udon prisoners faith.

Hell, we even see this all the way back in Arlong Park, where Luffy waits to take action until Nami asks him for help. He doesn't come in guns blazing and save her like some sort of white knight, but instead waits for Nami's go ahead, placing the power in her hand.

It's just such a refreshing way of seeing a protagonist in this type of story be portrayed. To have him understand the importance of the people he fight's side by side with, and not place himself as the fixer of all problems, but rather as an aid to these people (often times an aid that they explicitly asked for). It actively rejects the white savior/white knight trope(s) and allows for the people native to the island to have agency in these large battles instead of being sidelined. It is their lives and stories that are centered as being the most important in these moments, and Luffy is simply there to help them.

[homestylehughes]

boyfriend quinn headcanons

pairing(s): quinn hughes x fem!reader

summary: headcanons of bf!quinn!

wc:703

warnings: fluff, cute soft quinn, smut 18+!

authors note: hi guys!! i randomly had this idea this morning so i thought id write about quinn and how i think he'd be as a boyfriend! hes been taking up too much of my mind recently LOL. i hope you guys enjoy!! more fics are coming up later this week! like and reblog if you like <3. as always much love <3

happy reading <3

Sfw/fluff: 

Bf!quinn: quinn would be the type of boyfriend to wake you up with kisses all over your body, tracing his hands all over your back. Quinn would love looking at you while you're sleeping, not in a creepy way, in a loving way, that he couldn't believe that you're his.

Bf!quinn: he would give you one on one skating lesions, holding your hand whenever you feel like you're going to fall. He'd insist that he put on your skates, tying them extra tight and patting your leg to make sure you're okay. Quinn would laugh at you when you get excited about skating on your own finally, giving you a forehead kiss, saying he's proud of you. 

Bf!quinn: After a long day at work, when he knows you've had a bad day, he'll cook you your favorite meal. Even drawing you a bath, that you then insisted that he had to get in with you. He would ask you about your day, you would tell him as you lean comfortably into his touch as he runs his hands all over your body to help you relax. 

Bf!quinn: quinn lovesssss when you wear his jersey to a game, he loves seeing you in the stands in his jersey, cheering for him and the rest of the team. He loves the support that you always give him. Waiting for him by the locker room, giving him the sweetest hug and kiss. Always letting him know that you're proud of him, win or lose. 

Bf!quinn: quinn loves how you are around his family, how you think of them as your family. How you laugh and joke with his brothers, talk hockey with his dad, how you embarrass him and smile with his mom. He loves the relationship that you have with them. His family jokes that if you guys ever broke up, his family would be more hurt than you or quinn. 

Bf!quinn: quinn would definitely get baby fever when seeing you around children. Imagining if they were your kids, wanting nothing more than to pull you home, and make his dreams come true. 

Bf!quinn: quinn loves to be babied, he loves when you let him be the little spoon. His favorite way of being babied is when he comes home after a long road trip is throwing himself into your arms, dragging you to the bedroom, quickly getting changed and laying down on top of you. His face finding its way to your neck, nuzzling himself in your body breathing in your scent. He'd quickly fall asleep as you play with his hair, and rub your hands up and down his back.

nsfw 18+ below: 

Bf!quinn: quinn is definitely a munch. He could spend hours in between your legs, even when you try to push him away he always comes back. He could never get enough of your cunt.  

Bf!quinn: He loves marking you up, showing everyone that you're his. He can't help but feel a sense of pride when he looks over the marks. Smirking to himself, knowing you'll yell at him when you see how dark they are the following day. 

Bf!quinn: quinn is obsessed with your boobs, he considers himself a lover of both ass and boobs equally but his downfall is your boobs. Any chance he has to kiss, bite, lick them he takes advantage of it. You can't even count on your fingers how many times you guys have been late to dinners because your boobs are “calling his name.”

Bf!quinn: quinn loves when you take control during sex, it's a side of you that he doesn't get to see a lot but he loves it when he does. The view of you on top of him riding him, never fails to take his breath away. 

Bf!quinn: Your moans? Oh gosh your moans. They make his knees weak, He loves hearing how responsive you are. His favorite is when you moan lowly in his ear, feeling your warm breath fan his face. When you drop your head back and your mouth is hanging open as your body shakes in pleasure. 

Bf!quinn: loves everything about you.

[sonik-kun]

Reminder that canon Jiang Cheng is:

- Self-sacrificing. There have been numerous examples in the book where JC is willing to lay down his life for his family and sect without a second thought. Charging at Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu in the turtle cave. Stepping in front of his mother to protect her from the core melter hand. Distracting the Wen before they discovered WWX. Offering himself as a hostage in return for JL in the Guanyin Temple incident, etc.

- Fiercely protective of his family. The above bullet point elaborates on this part well. But I would also like to add that he is extremely protective of JL. He follows him on nighthunts and is the first person JL calls for whenever he is in trouble. The moment JL sends out a flare, JC is instantly in there, dropping everything for him.

- He allows JL to be a child. Despite the historic context and the stiff upper lip attitudes of that time period, JC allows JL to be a child still. He is spoilt rotten and never knew the same horrors those of his previous generation had to endure. JC does all he can to keep him safe from that to prevent similar incidents from happening again. He also allows JL to healthily express his emotions and never once scolds him for crying. The moment he sees him upset, he's in there soothing him, ready to throw hands with whoever hurt him.

- He doesn't use corporal punishment methods on JL despite it being the norm of that society. JL explains this to WWX who was shocked to discover that JC doesn't punish JL, despite his threats. JL is horrified by the notion and is very comfortable and secure around his uncle. Secure enough to give him sass even, something JC would never dreamed of doing to his elders.

- He is an excellent and attentive leader. He built his sect from the ground up and recruited people on his own all whilst he was still a teenager, still recovering from trauma and torture. He brought his sect back from the brink of annihilation and built it back up as a major sect on very minimal experience with little next to no guidance.

- He's politically savvy. From a young age, he was always socially aware of everything, valuing the safety of his sect and family above everything else. He correctly predicted WWX's downfall and tried so much to warn him and save him from it. Powerless in that moment, he chose his sect over WWX in fear of them being annihilated a second time should he side with him. WWX understood and respected this, so defected of his own accord.

- He still believed in WWX and held onto hope for him, even when things were looking bleak. Despite WWX siding with the Wen, the sect that almost annilihated his own, JC allowed WWX to go with them and remained friends up until WWX inadvertently got JZX and JYL killed. He still allowed WWX to see his sister and even name his nephew. They visited each other in secret regularly despite the risks of being caught, and JC tried to defend him even in the face of the three most strongest sects. He wasn't successful, but he tried.

- He is more reasonable and level-headed than the rumours lead you to believe. We see this when the prostitute comes to testify about JGY. He calmly considers her word and everything she has to say. Not once was he rude or snappy with her. He also remembers his etiquette and addresses elders with manners and respect. He may at times be quick to anger, but he is also quick to calm himself down and conduct himself properly as we see in his first scene where he lets "MXY" go, despite being a practicing demonic cultivator.

- He let's WWX go in the end. The moment he learns the truth about everything and that WWX wasn't entirely guilty for everything everyone accused him of, JC drops all feelings of aminosoty towards him. He doesn't blame him, nor does he actively pursue him anymore and demand he answers for his "crimes." JC got all the answers he wanted from him and instead of holding on to grudges and resentment, he let WWX go to be happy with LWJ, despite clearly wanting him to come back to Lotus Pier. He understands and respects that WWX is ready to move on and start a new life with LWJ. It hurts him, but he respects that decision.

There are many more positive traits I could discuss here, but I'll be here all day if I did.

JC is a nuanced character with a lot of flaws, but he also has a lot of positives that make his character realistic and relatable but also very likeable. He is a traumatised man with a troubled past, but he never allowed it to truly bring him down. He persevered, built up his sect, and raised a nephew with a pure heart. I think it's safe to say that despite his problems and despite everything he has gone through, JC is a survivor with a strong heart. He has a lot of admirable traits that you mustn't ignore or deny if you truly wish to enjoy and appreciate his character.

[bitin-and-barkin]

Keeping him in line

Warnings: Gunfucking, facefucking, shoe humping, sub Dutch, he's like super pathetic honestly, humiliation (Dutch Receiving), degradation, gender neutral reader, dom reader, the reader is SO fucking mean, Dutch deserves it tho, masochism, pain kink, anal, smut, all consensual dw, I like to think this could've stopped the downfall of the gang

-------------------------------------------------------

Thinking about being an "old friend" of Dutch.

Used to go out robbing with him back in the day, until some crap went down. He thought you died, and you thought the same for him. But after the blackwater incident, a long overdue meeting happens when you both try to rob the same train.

Thinking about him "Inviting" (practically begging) you to join him, even though you both know you're doing damn well on your own.

Thinking about once you graciously agree, he's consulting you for every little thing, saying something along the lines of "let me consult the missus/mister" before he plans any jobs, finally taking SOMEONE'S advice other than his own. Treating you like Hosea, like himself. A higher up, a leader, despite you having never set foot in this gang in over 10, 15, years.

Thinking about him insisting that you don't have to do any of the "dirty work" if you don't feel like it. Barking orders at others to "take care of it" while dragging you back to his tent for no reason at all, other than to just smoke and drink and chat about everything and nothing.

Thinking about others being weirded out and slightly jealous of all the praise and approval you get from him, with even Molly questioning if he's sweet on you. Everyone is thinking it, that maybe he had something going on with you in the past. But, even when he was with Annabelle? He had never treated her this kindly.

Thinking about him catching glances at your fingers while you handle your gun, the way you draw it and shoot in the blink of an eye. Watching your hands move as you play poker at camp, making everybody else at the table go broke.

Thinking about him watching the way your chest heaves in and out after a gunfight. Watching the way your silver tongue talks them into money and out of trouble, even better than he or Hosea can.

Thinking about him stating he needs to "take a break" with Molly due to him "needing some time alone" while she watches him talk to you the same way he used to chat with her, but with actual longing in his eyes.

Thinking about you talking to him, almost down to him, with a certain smug look on your face as he looks at you with a certain devotion on his. You calling out the flaws in his ideas and plans, doubting him, doing things that would get anybody else labeled as a traitor. But not you. Anybody but you. As when you do it? All he can do is sit there and take it.

Thinking about you pushing him down by the chest where he sits anytime he does something or says something that you don't like. Knocking his drink out of his hand in front of everybody when he gets too out of line.

Thinking about punishing him for his behavior at night, taking long drags of his cigar and putting it out on his arm as you grip his hair and shove his face into his bed as you fuck him into the sheets.

Thinking about you leaving bruises on his neck after you choke him too hard for being too mean to one of his boys or after one of his infamous plans fuck up once again.

Thinking about making him rut up against your boot as you face fuck him, saying he isn't deserving of even touching you, and if he wants release he has to work for it himself. Stating that your shoes better be shining when he's done down there as he rubs his dick against your spurs, desperate for friction.

Thinking of you fucking him with his own gun after he begs you for more, with you degrading him for getting a hard on. Asking him what the Pinkertons, what his gang, would think if they learned that Dutch Van Der Linde himself is no more than a common whore. One barely good enough to fuck. Saying that maybe you should turn him in, that way you can use the money to buy a whore that actually does what they're told.

Thinking about him crying into your lap as he begs for release, and all you do is laugh at him and shove him off, leaving him alone and aching after you climax and he doesn't. Knowing that he needs this punishment to keep him in place.

Thinking about him palming himself for the rest of the night and choking himself with a tie you got him a long time ago, fucking himself stupid with your gun which you left in his tent. But it's not enough. Such a greedy boy. It's never enough for him.

That's why you have to keep him in line. It keeps him sane.

[cursedcola]

Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?" - Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore(Here!), Ignihyde, Diasomnia(Pt.1)(Pt.2) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. Note: May have overdone it. Also, I'm a bit rough with my french. It's been 2 years, go easy on me.

There is a word for this young man. A term that has always been a one-way thing in his past. A noun that he has experience being the target of, and not the one it is describing.

Whipped. Oh, dear heavens, Vil is whipped for you. The thought both entices him and sends a shiver of distaste down his spine. Why? Because, my dove, in recognizing that he is whipped he is also acknowledging that he is dependent. Reliant. No longer the boss a** queen who needs nobody other than himself. The man the world knows him to be but this schoolboy crush has progressed to borderline infatuation.

Let us do a little synopsis of this downfall. A summary, if you will. An exploration of this Schoenheit's thought process as his prospective future melded from being Twisted Wonderland's resident supernova, to a domestic fantasy that would make his past self vomit.

It all began with a little birdy falling into a nest of snakes. Lost, alone, scared, weak - they slowly melted the hearts of everyone they came in contact with. Vil watched from the sidelines in interest. Not enough to investigate because *why* would he place his time in the hands of prey. It would be an utter waste.

Albeit so...Vil recognizes potential when he sees it. Not unlike himself, they took the hand they were dealt and carved a path to the top. He could respect that ... until there was a collision that threatened his own plans. Suddenly their oddities were no longer amusing and instead a hindrance. Like rain. Nice at the start, but the muddy aftermath never pleases.

And muddy his life became indeed. He became the villain he always disliked. Wretched and old. Completed his self-fulfilling prophecy...and somehow lost it all, yet gained something new in such a short span of time. He was no hero in the story, had no life-changing epiphany, yet somehow it felt different. For a brief moment, he was the fairest of them all to that little birdy. Despite his venom and scales, he was the fairest.

It dawns him that they both are not as alike as he once thought. He was playing a game of chess against someone playing checkers.

The oddity turned hindrance now became an object of interest. He started to watch them again and to approach as well. He wanted to bloom the potential he saw in them. Letting it go to waste would be neglectful on his part, so he would shelter them during their time in this den.

Or so he told himself.

While they could never make it to his level...the little birdy was morphing into a beautiful dove right before his very eyes. All without his help or a need for change. He never felt so desperate to be needed by someone else.

The object of interest becomes an object of affection. He doesn't want to recommend new potions, fashion, workouts, skincare routines - he wants to do them with you. He wants to sit in a rosewater bath together and talk about the day. He wants to be chided for wearing a sleepmask, blocking your view of his eyes at night. He wants to go on a morning jog together and share breakfast. To have you on his arm as he walks the carpet at premiers - brighter than any other accessory his stylist could choose. He wants to kiss your pulse points and smell his perfume on your skin. He wants to share clothes and give the press something to gossip about. He wants to love this little birdy who has always been a dove.

And he gets this fantasy. He has it for years but there is always an underlying gnaw beneath his skin that it is going to end - which he is prepared for initially. He does not do anything half-effort and dating you is not taken lightly - but he is prepared until he does not want to be. Until the possibility of splitting up is unfathomable and he can't imagine not having all the little moments that now he has become so...

Reliant. Whipped.

He initially wants you to propose to him, and hints at it frequently. How glorious would he look dressed in white, no? Which do you like better, black forest cake or almond chip? Oh dear...these tulips would make such a lovely Boquete for a bride...

You are either too dense to understand his hints (unlikely, considering you have years of practice) or he needs to take initiative. Well, if it is a proposal you want then it is a proposal you will get.

He stages it under the guise that he needs a partner for a photoshoot. Specifically for a wedding magazine. You, thinking this is another one of his blatant hints, comply to his pleasure. He calls in a contact from one of the magazines he has modeled for before and asks if they would like an inclusive - never before seen- scoop. Aka. to photograph his proposal and feature it on their front cover. With his reputation, the offer is accepted readily and they agree to set up the shoot with whatever theme he wishes. He goes traditional - set in a gothic chapel that is decorated with red and purple floral adornments. The works for a proposal with a dark vintage twist.

That morning, he leaves before you to handle a separate modeling gig. With a kiss to your wrist, he is gone and off to make sure that everything is perfect for when you arrive later on. Photographers know him for his tenacity, but none have ever seen Vil so anal over small details. Every ribbon must be perfect, there must be both black AND white rose petals spread along the walkway. You must be photographed in rose-tinted lighting, so the camera should face towards the biggest piece of stained glass.

When you arrive, you are escorted to hair and makeup in a whirl. The scene is a blur and you're decked head to toe in white. Gothic lace as far as the eye can see...and when you are finally allowed to enter the chapel, Vil stands haloed by his arranged decorations - waiting for you to join him.

"Stunning, my dear. You look absolutely stunning. A sight I will have etched in my thoughts for many nights to come..." he takes your hand, and signals for the cameramen to get ready. They instruct you both to pose as a couple taking their vows. The camera clicks once, and then Vil gets down on one knee.

You think it's part of the act and that he is improvising. Well, until he pulls out a ring from his breast pocket. One that is a sharp contrast from the dark atmosphere and obviously not a prop.

"Alas, my patience runs dry. I can no longer wait for you..." he begins, and takes your hand in his. Another click echoes in the room, "with this ring, I make you mine. There will be no escape. No lies or uncertainties. I am already yours. I have been for many, many years. Will you finally join me in matrimony?"

{Black Opal. Staring into the gem puts any viewer in a trance. It sucks them in with bright swirls - hypnotizing. It is so beautiful with its intricate pattern, yet at a distance it appears solely black. We often narrow complex things down to one-note interpretations. Do with this information what you will}

Our man of mystery likes to keep things fresh. He loves the thrill of the chase. The anticipation. The adrenaline.

There is no better game of cat and mouse in life than romance. At every stage there are twists and turns that one can never predict. Each day brings new surprises and events! At least, that is what Rook believes a relationship should entail. No partnership should ever feel the lull of comfort...no-no. There must always be a little spice and sweetness around every corner to keep the relationship alive.

At your side, Rook does not doubt his beliefs for a second. You are like a magnet for attention and rightfully so. Out of all the people he finds interesting...you are the most tantalizing to observe. He finds himself following your every movement early on. Long before you began to enter his personal bubble, you were rare prey for the hunt. Otherworldly, full of secrets, attentive, attractive, enticing - he had his mark set so firm that he would have watched you even without Vil's order.

Nothing is missed under his fond scrutiny. Rook is the first to notice small things, like if you trimmed your hair or sewed new buttons on your blazer. He has your walking pace memorized to match when he is at your side. He knows your favorite meals in the dining hall, your habitual seat in the library, how to read your body language, what your favorite treats are and when you like to have them - his knowledge is so extensive that it's up to you if it is considered sweet or creepy. Rook's affections are often teetering the line with infatuation; however, he is not controlling or weird about it. He simply is a romantic who feels the need to know the ins and outs of the person he will give his heart to.

If that includes protecting you from ill-mannered heathens and appearing out of thin air to catch you if you trip? Well, best not question where he comes from. Just know that you have a second shadow. He will only become worse when his affections are returned. You may feel the need to set ground rules for how he can behave in public. Loud declarations of compliment and suggestive topics will not be reigned in otherwise. He is a lover and a fighter. Remember that.

There will come a day that Rook feels you are ready to marry him. Yes, specifically you. He was ready very early on, likely because pining for so long (while exciting) was a chase that gave him plenty of time to learn what he wants. Any time spent waiting was merely for your sake. Only when he notes your fondness towards the idea of marriage does he create a series of tests to ensure your desires. Things like leaving a wedding magazine on the counter to see your reaction, and taking you for a romantic boat ride that just so happens to be a hotspot for couples on their honeymoon. He also mentions the topic in his flirtations more often, to see if you'll respond in kind or shy away. He is a thorough man, if anything.

Oddly enough, he takes a reserved approach for proposing. He uses poetry, which is not unlike him considering how he loves to speak with flourishes. In his heart Rook would love to set up an elaborate event to propose. Something exciting, like a train mystery or a scavenger hunt. Yet some things do not need to be active to be thrilling. Marriage is a delicate act, so it is with a delicate hand that he pens a book of poetry over the course of nineteen days. On each day, he writes one poem to describe one reason he wants to marry you. The first letter in the title of each poem corresponds to a hidden message that you will have to decipher. He does not tell you either of these things.

He hands the book off to you with a cunning grin, and says that it is up to you to find the hidden meaning. If you can, then he will give you a 'special prize'. If you ask the occasion, he offers one of his closed-eye grins and claps his hands. 'Because why not?' He'll say, and it's enough to pacify because it is such a Rook way of thinking that you don't question it.

No matter how long it takes, he waits. He'll watch you analyze each poem and pout for an answer - one he refuses to give. It's all in the chase, after all. He can be patient. All good things come to those who wait.

One cold afternoon, he finds you curled up on the couch in your shared home. A blanket around your shoulders, a hot drink, and the book nestled in your lap. Nothing out of the usual...aside from the pen in your hand hovering over a notebook. Silent as a mouse, he hovers over your shoulder to take a peek and smirks at what has you so miffed.

"Ah...I take it you have words for me, mon coeur. Are they perhaps about a certain mystery?" You jump, and slam the notebook shut before turning around. His eyes crinkle in delight at the sight - his well waited prize. The flush of your cheeks suggest you solved the puzzle and the sweat on your brow shows that you know he knows. Rook rounds about the couch in an instant and crouches on his knees in front of you. He takes your notebook, opens it, and displays the words 'Will You Marry Me?' for you. "Is this your answer? Are you confident?" You nod, avoiding his eyes and he grabs your chin to face him. With a hum of approval, he tips off his hat to pull out a wooden box. In the box is a ring, and he effortlessly slips it onto your finger without asking permission. "Mon moitié...mon trésor. Je te chérirai. Je t'aimerai. Je ne te laisserai jamais partir. Avec cette bague, je suis à toi jusqu'à ce que la mort nous sépare…"

{A large pearl, nested between two emeralds, and a pure gold band. In Rook's eyes, the ring should compliment the wearer. It is the accent piece to your beauty. It should be comfortable, so you never have reason to remove it. In addition to this, it should also serve as a reminder that he is always looking for you. The pearl represents his untainted affection, and the two emeralds are his all-seeing eyes. He hopes this ring brings feelings of comfort and safety}

He is beauty, he is grace, he will punch you in the face - unless you're the object of his affections. Then you get a get out of jail free card. One use. Reinstated every time his heart skips a beat.

Our young lad is a bit of an unpredictable case when it comes to his emotions. Growing up in a small town like Harveston, there was no one his age to spend time with. NRC became his first exposure to people his age, and that made you his first love by default. He wasn't looking for it, didn't have any way to identify it, and frankly he disliked the emotions at first for various reasons. There is a lot to unpack here.

As everyone knows, Epel has a feminine appearance. The exact opposite of how he feels inside. The frilly clothes his dorm makes him wear do nothing to fix that - and now there is this tingling feeling in his chest that takes away his thought process? No. Just no. Not welcome at all. He needs his wits to make up for his unassuming appearance, and he ain't going to have some stranger twisting that about just because they're a bit attractive. Every apple tastes sweet until you try another kind - he says to himself.

He lets it fester for some time and actively avoids you. He sees the hurt in your eyes at his offput demeanor, but can't do much about it. It's your fault if you want to put yourself out there when everyone knows he's not the biggest talker.

Unfortunately...you stick around. Being in his academic year means that most of your classes align, and eventually your friend group does as well. There is no getting around you, and it doesn't take long for other people to connect the dots. Any chance at him getting a tougher reputation were ruined before they even began.

Eventually his resilience runs out and he gives in. Except now we have reason two - he has no chance with you. Zip. Nada. How Lovely.

Why the h*ll would ya go for this country bumpkin with the social skills of a rock? You'd be crazy to an' he ain't going to put himself out for heartbreak.

Now he's stuck humming love tunes and making carved apples of your face because he has years of pining built up with no outlet. It's pitiable, which makes him seethe because he can't do nothin' about it. Rook teased him once after finding Epel making yet another carving while laying in bed, and barely missed getting an apple to the head. The splattered remains of his fruit art on the wall spoke more than any threat could.

Point being, he is emotionally stunted and so he does not ever confess. Not until you do, that is. In that moment all class flew out of his body and he reverted to the socially challenged boy he was before enrolling at NRC. An extremely rare sight for anyone to see...he cringes thinking back on it. When you first said your feelings, he thought you were pulling a prank and got pissed. When he processed that you were serious, Epel lost control of himself and just blurted his thoughts out like a child.

Which is why his proposal is going to be different. It *has* to be different. This time, he'll be the one to ask you and he'll be prepared to avoid any mess ups. He refuses to be one-upped for such an important moment. This time you will be the flustered mess, and he will be the collected one.

To do this, he chooses to propose back in Harveston where he is most in his element. You'll both stay with his family on a weekend vacation in autumn, which meant there would be plenty of open land to arrange for something nice. Not to mention nice scenery from all the fallen leaves and orchards being in bloom. After a long talk with his family, he'd arrange to take you on a day tour of the land on horseback. Basically flaunt all of his farmboy knowledge for a confidence boost, and at the end of the night he'd light a campfire. With some warm cider, the noises of the night, and calm warmth of the hearth - he'd propose. It was almost perfect. *Almost*.

A simple ring feels too disconnected for Epel, and anything extravagant is too expensive considering the family farm's financial state. So, he decides to make it extra special by carving the ring box himself. Wood isn't that much different than apples...

On the first night he decides to work on some finishing touches after you've gone to sleep, and sits on the front porch to widdle away at the design. Like he does when carving apples, he hums a tune into the night as he focuses. Thoughts of the next day making him a bit louder and more excitable than usual - which, unfortunately wakes you up.

The front door opens and he pays it no heed, thinking it's one of his parents coming out for some fresh air. When you plop down next to him and look at the box - well, to say the earth shattered would be an understatement.

"Why aren't you sleepin'?!" His heart hammers and he tries to hide the box under one of his legs. The reaction being too late, since you already got a good look at it. You quirk an eyebrow at his haste, and a mischievous glint twists in your eye. Without warning, you fight him to see what's behind his back. 'What'cha got there Epel~ Why you so embarased huhu~' you tease and his ears flush a deep red. "It's nothin'! Mind your own buisness" 'Well clearly it's something' "I said it's not for you! Get your hands off me," 'Oh? I thought you liked my hands on you~ It looked like a ring box though. Who're you giving a ring to, huh?' "Dangit maybe you'd find out if ya stopped ruining your own surprises!" In his last attempt to avoid your teasing, he tries to yank away but drops the box. It hits the porch with a thud and the lid pops open to show an engagement ring. "...ah sh*t," he swears and hastily crouches to pick it up. You don't tear your eyes away from it, neither from the carvings or how your name is etched in perfect cursive on the lid. Still on his knee, Epel checks the ring for damage before noticing your shocked stupor. He looks at the box again, and signs through his nose before turning towards you. "I had a whole day planned, y'hear me?! For once, I wanted ta be the one surprisin' you...but seein' how you're all tight lipped now, guess I did a good, huh? So? What'dya say? Will you marry me?"

{Crafted using the common hardwood from one of the many apple trees on the family farm. On the outside, there is a carving of a tree taking roots to symbolize the start of a new life. Definitely not because he was surrounded by trees while working on it, and decided to use them for inspiration. When the box is open, the top lid has your names carved along with the date. Well, the date of his *intended* proposal. That will need to be altered. Inside is a simple rose-gold band with small diamonds. Despite the ring's simplicity, he hopes his efforts to make you feel special are not in vain}

NOTE: Translation for Rook: "I will cherish you. I will love you. I'll never let you go. With this ring, I'm yours till death do us part"

[bluexiao]

#”aren’t you tired of me?”

–when you ask them if they feel sick of you | a request | comfort | dipsy anon, here’s your request! I hope this will at least comfort you :)))

SCARAMOUCHE

“Are you-” stupid, was what he was about to blurt out–what he wanted to, anyway, but with that look, you were giving him, it was quite impossible to let the words out without him biting his tongue. And so, with a sigh, he purses his lips and flicks you on the forehead.

“Ow!”

Another flick, but this time, you will be able to dodge it by placing a hand over your forehead.

“What was that for?!”

“For being an idiot.”

First of all, he finds it idiotic for you to think that someone like him would seriously think that way, especially after everything you two had been through. And second, he did not really expect you to say such things, and he is still coping with the shock while being “mean” to you.

He’s just annoyed—not at you, hell, he’ll probably first think that someone else had triggered you to say that stupid question, but in a few, he’ll slowly start to doubt himself; had he done something to make you think of him that way?

Yes, he’d think back over the few times he’d tease you out of affection—not that he would want to make it too obvious—and also the times he’d be utterly shit at you mostly because he’s too much of a brat to admit his feelings—which, in his defense, he only did in the first few weeks (or months) of meeting and soon dating you. Now that you’ve seen every single part of him and he the same to you, this anxiety of yours is quite surprising to him as well, and he also partly blames himself that above everyone, he prides himself that he knows you very well, but now in the end, he doubts that he does know everything about you.

Maybe he is the idiot this time.

“Tired?” He chuckles loudly. “Darling, did you really think I have such a short fuse that I would tire of you all for nothing? Or are you quick to forget about the years we’ve been through together, huh? Shall I help you remember?”

XIAO

Immediately has his forehead crunched and eyes boring into yours with a look of bewilderment, and it does take him a while to respond to you. Probably, he thought that you would follow up with “Just kidding!” with a little giggle, but when it seemed like you won’t, he bites with; “Is that really what you thought of yourself?”

Honestly, he would be quite offended, but not to the point that he’d selfishly bring it up to you upon realizing the way you felt inferior enough to prioritize someone like him over yourself.

Quite frankly, he thinks he should’ve been the one who should ask you if you’re tired of him.

Slightly annoyed, but more so with the crippling thought of; who or what made you this way? Is there someone who belittled you like this? Or maybe… did he?

The mere thought of him being the source of your worries and heartaches would be his downfall.

“Y/n, tell me,” he has his hand on your chin, urging you to face him and look into his eyes, and once you did, you could see the softness in them—a look that despite being on his face quite a number of times, you still could not fathom how on Teyvat you had managed to pull it off of him, “Is that really what you thought of yourself?”

Your lips purse and your gaze waver, only for his hand to travel to your cheek instead, urging you to make contact with his gaze again, “Love? Talk to me.”

You frown as you obliged his wishes, weak for the softness and genuine way his voice sounded. And then, you could feel his lips on yours. Just a small peck. But it was enough to ease your mind and muscles down.

“Our bond is too deep to sever,” he interlocks his fingers with yours, the other hand still caressing your cheek as he gazed straight into your eyes, pecking you on the lips one more time before continuing on, “I will never tire of you. Never.”

comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

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[gurugirl]

He's Not You | bfd!harry

Summary: The aftermath of Harry's bright idea has some downfalls and he didn't expect to feel this way.

Word Count: 7.8k

Warning: Angst, emotional cheating, lying, age gap, alcohol consumption, mature themes, 18+ only please!

bfd!harry masterlist

Harry didn’t know what to do. Or if he should do anything. One thing life taught him was that people needed time to process any kind of upsetting news and pushing was not the answer. He’d give you time. He’d let you think about what he said but he wouldn’t give you too much time because he needed you to know he was still there. He was still yours if you wanted him. 24 hours. Then he’d reach out to you. Okay. So maybe he wasn’t giving you that much time. But he needed to make sure you two were okay. Because he certainly wasn’t.

And besides, not knowing if you were okay hurt him more than anything else. And he’d totally misjudged the whole thing. He knew you might not like it but it blew up in his face. He hadn’t expected you to be that upset about it.

And your reaction had him devasted. He didn’t even expect his own response. Eyes full of tears, unable to move from your building’s parking lot for nearly fifteen minutes while he retraced the whole thing in his mind and cried. Over and over again he thought about how he said it and how you responded and the way your little tears fell over your cheeks and your lip jutted out in upset. He hated himself. He’d really done nothing right at all. For the entire course of your relationship. It started with him pursuing you. And the rest was just the domino effect. But now he was so enamored by you, so crazy for you he couldn’t imagine being the one to break it off.

You’d need to break up with him if that were ever to happen. He’d never be able to call it off. He could think of no scenario that had him breaking up with you. None. Not even if you told his wife about the affair. He couldn’t.

.           .           .

You didn’t go to work that night. You called off and cried in every room of your apartment. You were feeling absolutely sunken. You didn’t even hate Harry. You understood it. Knew what he was trying to do and understood that he was only thinking of you. But that did nothing to make you feel better. Because then it was glaring. Your whole relationship and what it really was, laid out bare for you to see.

You obsessively raked over the details. His suggestion for you to date someone else. To try and have a normal life outside of him. But yet still see him in private.

That wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to really be with Mr. Styles. Wanted to flaunt it to everyone, shout it from the rooftops, tell the whole world all about your man. But that was just a dream. A fantasy.

And what he wanted for you was his way of offering you something that resembled normalcy. Because what else could he do? Other than breaking it off with you. Which, if you were honest with yourself, breaking up with him would be the best way to go about things. If he broke up with you that would be the kindest thing for everyone involved. You’d be devasted but you’d get over him eventually as one does after enough time to heal a broken heart.

But you were thankful he wasn’t breaking up with you. He was just offering you an alternative to that. Because you did need something normal. Though you weren’t quite convinced dating someone else was the answer.

.           .           .

Harry had called you the following day to check-in. You were just getting out of the shower before you had to get ready for work. His words comforted you. His tone made you feel like you were still his. Like he still wanted you. You felt yourself smile for the first time in a whole day.

“When can I come see you?”

“I work this afternoon, and then tomorrow afternoon as well.”

“That’s okay. What about Thursday? You usually have Thursdays free right?”

You sighed and pulled your towel tighter around your chest as you sat on the edge of your bed, “Well… I was thinking of going out with Fae on Thursday night. I barely hang out with her anymore.”

“I miss you, puppy,” Harry spoke softly into the phone. And you understood that his quiet voice meant someone might have been close enough that they could hear him. And of course he wouldn’t want anyone to hear him saying that to someone he was speaking to on the phone. Especially if they knew he wasn’t speaking to his wife. Especially if it was his wife who was nearby.

And just that thought alone nettled at you. A dark cloak covered you again and the small smile you had when you answered the phone fell from your face. You were still feeling that jarring shock you felt the day before when he blindsided you with his offer.

But at least he wanted to see you still.

“I miss you too, Harry.” That was all you could say. You wouldn’t suggest another day to see him. Wouldn’t push for more. Or ask him what worked for him. You wanted to but you were tired. Not only were you emotionally worn thin, you’d barely slept the night before and so you were feeling very sensitive. The situation was delicate you didn’t know how to proceed.

“Are we okay, baby?” He sounded the way you felt.

“I don’t know, Harry.”

.           .           .

Harry gave you space. You only got a text from him while you were getting ready to go out with Fae Thursday night.

Have fun tonight. Please be safe.

Your reply was simple. You wanted to say more. Tell him to come over the next morning and help you with your hangover (you were positive you were going to have one). To kiss your headache away like you knew he could. But you kept it short.

Thank you.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”  Fae stood next to you as you sent the text to her dad. Quickly turning the phone as you nodded and smiled at her you lied, “I’m fine.”

The club was a spot you and Fae frequented in college. It was like walking into a time vault. Nothing looked different. Everyone was dressed to get attention from someone else. The strobing lights flickered and people crowded together in the sunken area of the dance floor. High-top tables lined against the walls filled with people nursing (or chugging) their drinks as servers ran from the bar to the tables and back again.

Fae leaned in to speak, “So… I didn’t tell you, but Evan is here with a few of his friends.”

You stopped in your tracks and looked at your best friend like she had horns, “What? Why wouldn’t you tell me first?! I really don’t want to deal with that tonight, Fae!”

She held on to your forearm, “I know. I’m sorry. But I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t come and I just want you to have some fun tonight. He promised he’d be on his best behavior.”

Evan was a super cocky asshole. But he was hot. He was loosely associated with your friend group. Had moved to the state to attend the university you went to and you hooked up with him a time or two. Three times actually. You remembered them vividly.

But after the third time you hooked up you learned he told some of your friends about it. Had bragged that he took your virginity (which was true) and made it clear that he’d been doing it just for the challenge of bagging a virgin.

So after that, you stopped talking to him. Blocked his number and every aspect of him on social media. And every time you saw him at a party or in passing you ignored him. Though he never seemed phased by your attitude toward him. He continued to flirt with you, compliment you, and tell you how pretty you were. He did apologize but he did it in a way that felt disingenuous.

It had been about a year since you’d seen him at all. And based on what Fae had just told you, he knew you’d be there. You just wish she’d told you. But she was probably right. You wouldn’t have come had you known.

.           .           .

“You okay, babe?” Harry’s wife asked him, popping her head into his study as he sat at his desk with a pout.

“Oh… yeah I’m fine. Was just deep in thought.”

She stepped in and walked toward him before leaning her hip against his oak desk, “You seem… well, just a little sad lately. Kind of like something is weighing heavy on you. For the past few days especially. Just want to make sure everything’s okay.”

Harry knew he was affected by you. Knew that what had happened between you two was his fault but he didn’t know what to do about it. Didn’t know how to make himself feel better. He hated that you were hurt by his suggestion. Hated himself. Hated that you were out at some club with Fae only a few days after he suggested you go out and date someone.

What if you met someone? What if you realized that meeting and dating and being with a man your age who you could go on dates with and hold hands with openly and who you could gush over with your best friend was actually way better than secretly dating a married man twice your age?

He felt his wife’s fingers run through his hair, “See? Like this. You seem so… distant, Harry.”

“Sorry. I don’t know. Maybe I’m coming down with something. I’ve been feeling off a little. Kind of tired and… probably not drinking enough water,” he watched his wife to gauge her reaction. Of course it wasn’t lack of water that had his heart crumbling and his gut twisted in knots. But he would never be able to admit the cause to his wife.

After forcing himself to get up and gulp down a glass of water at his wife’s behest, he noted the time, 11:56 pm. He wondered what you were up to. If you were dancing with someone. If you were okay.

“We should go to bed, Harry. It’s late.”

He didn’t want to go to bed. He wanted to drive to the club, go inside, and check on you. See with his own eyes what you were doing and who you were doing it with. But that was absolute nonsense. He needed to get a grip on himself.

.           .           .

Evan was nice. Really nice. And he looked even better than he had the last time you saw him. You could tell he’d been working out and his overgrown scruff made him look older (which reminded you a bit of Harry in a way and if you squinted he had the build of Harry too).

So when you and Fae finally decided to call it a night Evan hopped in the taxi with you two and he went back with you to your place. The whole time Fae kept giving you the, “I told you so,” look. Fae was dropped off at her apartment first.

You were right on the edge of drunk. But so was Evan. You couldn’t stop your brain from imagining he was Harry. You did try, but you had had just enough alcohol that he kind of looked like Harry. His voice wasn’t as sexy and his hands were a little smoother.

And when you tried flirting and teasing with him when you got him on your couch he didn’t give you that back-and-forth that you loved with Harry. He just dove right in. His hot mouth slobbered against yours and you allowed yourself to settle into it. Pulling your dress up over your thighs and letting him pull your panties down.

But instead of him placing himself between your legs and eating you out like you assumed he would do (Harry had really spoiled you) he began to pull his own pants down, nearly tripping because he wasn’t stable. His balance was off and you laughed at him.

You cupped him, his underwear covering whatever he had going on underneath, and realized he was not hard. Not at all.

He pushed your hand away and sat down next to you on your couch, his pants still at his ankles, and laughed in disbelief, “I’m fucking too drunk. I’m sorry, Y/n. Fuck.” He put his hands over his face and settled his head back into your couch.

This was the first time you’d ever experienced it. What they called whisky dick. You didn’t realize that Evan had had so much to drink that he couldn’t get it up.

Pulling your dress back down you looked at your thighs and at the floor where your dry panties were lying and realized, he hadn’t even gotten you anywhere near worked up. You weren’t climbing up the wall to have him fuck you (not that he could with a limp dick anyway) the way you did with Harry.

You squeezed your eyes closed and shook your head. You didn’t know what you were doing. It was too soon to jump into anything with anyone. Maybe a part of you felt like if you fucked someone else you’d feel better about it all because then you’d be serving a little bit of pain to Harry in the way he’d served it to you.

“It’s okay, Evan. Seriously. You can sleep here on the couch. I can take you home in the morning.”

He reached across the couch to pull at your hand, “I’m so sorry. This is so embarrassing. Maybe in the morning when we’re both sobered up, I can try again.”

You scoffed at the idea and looked at him as if he were joking, “Uh… we’ll see.”

You climbed into your bed feeling like you’d just hit a wall. Not just because you were so tired but because everything you did reminded you of Harry.

You missed him. You knew that even if Harry had had too much to drink to get hard he’d have held you and whispered soft words into your ear until you fell asleep. But you couldn’t imagine him drinking like that. Getting just drunk enough that he couldn’t get it up. That didn’t seem like something that would ever happen to him.

You texted him. You were sure it would be a bad idea. Something you’d regret in the morning but you just wanted to reach out. To give him something. To give yourself something.

Wish you were here.

You sighed and plugged your phone in and laid flat on your bed. You tried to fall asleep. Tried to push down your disappointment (in yourself, in the situation) but you just kept thinking of how you had really messed up big time. Falling for your best friend’s dad? Huge fuck up.

Your phone chimed and you sat up to see a text back from Harry.

Are you safe at home now, pup?

You grinned and felt your heart flutter at the term of endearment he had begun using for you.

I am. I brought someone back with me but he’s not you.

You weren’t sure why you told him that. You didn’t need to. But part of you wanted him to know. Wanted to be honest with him in every way. Felt he was owed the truth. More than likely, though, you told him because you hoped in a tiny tiny way that he’d be a little jealous. And of course there was the alcohol doing much of the thinking for you.

He read your message but as the seconds turned into minutes of being left on read you wondered if it was a mistake to tell him that. Wondered if maybe you should have only said that to him in person.

And so you quickly typed out another text at the five minute mark.

Nothing happened, though. I don’t want anyone else.

More minutes passed. You weren’t sure if he’d even see your follow-up text. Hoped he’d see it before he decided to turn his phone off and go back to sleep. It was late. Nearly 3 am. He had every right to ignore your texts at that hour.

You were startled awake by the sound of someone closing the bathroom door. You sat up quickly and looked at your phone. It was just past 8 am. Still no response from Harry. In fact, he hadn’t even read your last text to him yet. Which had you worried. Had he maybe blocked you?

Your heart sank as you climbed out of your bed. You had a headache and your mouth was dry. You filled up a glass of water for yourself and leaned against your kitchen counter just as Evan came into the kitchen with you.

He was still handsome. You weren’t sure if you were seeing things last night but his kind smile had the corners of your mouth turning upward.

“Morning,” he half yawned the word.

“Morning. Water? Coffee?” You lifted your glass upward.

“Both? If that’s okay?”

You and Evan sat at your little kitchen table and sipped hot coffee and he told you about what he was doing these days and you told him that you were waiting tables.

He couldn’t stay long. He had to go to work. But he did stay long enough that you got his number and made plans for Saturday night.

As much as you regretted it all the night before, the morning’s clarity and Harry’s lack of response to you had you feeling like you were making a good choice for yourself by seeing Evan again under different circumstances.

He kissed you goodbye at your door and grinned, “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

.           .           .

Harry nearly lost it when he saw that you’d brought someone back with you. He sat his phone down in his office and went into his back yard and found a dark corner to sit and cry.  He was pathetic. A pathetic man. A terrible husband. A man who pushed his lover away into the arms of another.

He wanted to rip his hair out and break his phone in half. Wanted to drive to your apartment, beat down your door, and end the life of a man he didn’t even know simply because you allowed him into your apartment.

He saw that you’d texted again but he couldn’t bear to look at it. He shut his phone down and tried to sleep on the leather couch in his study but his thoughts wouldn’t stop. He kept imagining you getting wet for someone else. Begging someone else to fuck you in your bed. Touching someone else with your soft fingers and kissing them with those lips he loved. He imagined your sweet moans and gasps as you called out the name of another.

Needless to say, he did not get any sleep.

He went to work, his phone was still powered off, and tried to push you out of his mind. Tried not to torture himself with all the images of you naked with another man. To no avail.

And then he made the mistake of checking on Fae’s Instagram stories from the night before from his work computer. You were there with Fae wearing something that would have any man on his knees. It would certainly have him on his knees for you.

Your big smile and shining eyes in the photo indicated you were having fun. But then a blurry photo of you dancing with a man had Harry pausing the reel and trying to scroll in. He wanted a look at this guy. No one was tagged in the post so he didn’t even get a name but now he was officially in the pits. His stomach felt like curdled milk was boiling and sloshing inside and his heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he had to place his palm over it to make sure he was still alive and that he wasn’t having some kind of heart attack or something.

He ran to the bathroom and unloaded whatever it was he ate that morning. He couldn’t even remember what he’d eaten he’d been so distraught by the idea of you being with anyone else.

“This was your idea you fucking idiot,” he scolded himself in a whisper as he wiped his mouth and then his tears.

It was his idea. And it was a terrible one. He thought he could handle it. But he was weak. How were you able to deal with the fact that he was married and yet he couldn’t even bear to look at a blurry photo of you dancing with someone else? You were far stronger than he was.

Back in his office, he decided to put himself out of his misery and power his phone back up. Read the text you sent and then insist on going to see you. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He needed to see you.

But what he read was not what he expected at all. In fact, had he just read it when you first sent it, it would have saved him the amount of anguish he’d gone through. He’d tortured himself for no reason at all. But he figured he deserved it.

Nothing happened. You didn’t want anyone else.

He let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. You didn’t want anyone else. The relief that covered him was vast. Like the painkiller his doctor gave him when he tore his ACL. He had been in such pain after the surgery and the prescription painkillers were just there on his bedside as he recovered. He didn’t want to take them. Figured he could tough it out because he was tough. But then when he lost sleep and began to sweat and feel immense nausea from the severe pain he felt he was urged him to take the painkiller. And oh boy was that the right move. He’d wasted so much time trying to be tough and get through it without the aid. All he had to do was swallow the pill and wait twenty minutes and he’d feel better.

And now he felt better just reading your text. Why had he waited? Why had he allowed himself to get to the point of throwing up? Still, he knew he needed to see you. Needed to kiss you and hold you and apologize for suggesting such a thing to you. He hoped you’d forgive him and that you’d want things to go back to how they’d been before. To how they’d been before he’d been such a dumbass with what he thought was a bright idea.

.           .           .

I need to see you. Can I come over tomorrow night?

The text from Harry had you buzzing and spinning. He finally texted you back. You wanted so badly for him to come over. Instead of seeing Evan. In fact, you were panicking over your decision that morning to accept a date with him. You kept going back and forth. Was it a good idea? Should you call him and tell him that you’d changed your mind?

Staring down at your phone in the employee breakroom you didn’t know what to say to Harry. You were still feeling upset and anger over the situation. Maybe a date would be exactly what you needed somehow. Maybe it would also give perspective to Harry. Not that you were using Evan as a social experiment or to make Harry jealous. Were you? You didn’t know anymore.

Rather than text him back right away you got back to work and turned your phone off. You weren’t sure how you would respond to him quite yet. You needed time to decide if you were even going to go on the date with Evan after all.

And just like every time you finished a shift, your feet were sore and your brain was tired. But unlike every time you finished a shift, this time you were overthinking about every little detail with Harry and Evan. You pushed it down while you waited tables and finished up your night, but once you got home the floodgates of doubt, regret, anger, and hurt all came pouring out.

You had to text Harry back. Give him something. But you didn’t know what.

Hi. I’m not sure. I have plans. I do want to see you, though.

That was as much as you could give him. You didn’t know what you were doing. Nothing made any sense to you anymore.

Plans? Can I call you right now?

You sighed and sat down on your bed. The thing about hearing his voice was that it often had you all melty for him. You were worried that somehow just listening to him would make you want to immediately cancel your date with Evan. Which you still hadn’t decided what you were going to do.

But, despite all that, you dialed Harry’s number and put him on speaker. You didn’t want to have a video call with him this time. You weren’t feeling cute.

The phone rang a few times before you suddenly heard his voice break through the speaker, “Hello?”

“Hi, Harry.”

“Sweetheart, hi. How are you?”

You closed your eyes to compose yourself. Of course, just him calling you sweetheart in that deep tone was doing things to your resolve. “I’m okay. Just got off work a bit ago.”

“Yeah? And how was it? Did you keep yourself hydrated?”

He was always concerned about your state of hydration at work after one time you didn’t have a single sip of water all day and admitted it to him (you’d been too busy!).

You laughed, “I stayed hydrated. And it was okay. Got some pretty good tips tonight.”

You could hear Harry hum in acknowledgment, “Good. And what plans do you have tomorrow night, then?”

Gulping down your uncertainty you sat up straight on your bed for confidence, “Uh… a date. The guy I saw last night. But like I said, nothing happened with–“

“Yeah. I know. So you like the guy?”

You blinked your eyes and paused. Did you like Evan? You used to not. Not after the shithead move of spilling the details about what had happened to everyone. But that was years ago and yesterday when you saw him, it was like meeting a new person. He was kinder and gentler. More mature.

“Yeah. I think so. He’s someone that I’ve known. Went to college together.”

“Oh yeah? It’s not your ex is it?”

“No! No, of course not. His name is Evan. Haven’t seen him in a long time. He was at the club last night.”

The line was silent. You were sure Harry was considering your words. Part of you wanted him to tell you to cut the shit. That you weren’t allowed to see anyone else.

“Well, I guess I did suggest this didn’t I?” You heard him let out an incredulous laugh.

You faltered as you tucked your legs under your bum and looked down at the screen of your phone, “I mean. I don’t know still. I feel confused about everything. But maybe it’s good to just see. Like you said.”

In your mind, you were begging him to stop you. Wanted him to come over to your apartment and tell you that under no circumstances were you allowed to let anyone else touch you.

“Sure. Where– if you wanted to tell me, what are the plans for your date?”

You hummed and looked up at your ceiling, “Dinner somewhere. I’m not sure yet. Then we were thinking of taking a walk downtown. Just to see where the night takes us.” You didn’t like how that came out. How it might sound to him. But that was the truth. You hadn’t been against more happening with Evan that morning when you were making plans.

“Just be safe. I’ll have my phone on if you need me or anything. Okay?”

He sounded sad. You figured he was. Kind of like how you were feeling. It felt dirty and regretful. Telling your lover about plans you’d made with another man. Disgusting really.

When you ended the call you realized you did need to go on the date. Harry’s response to the news only made it clear that you should try and see what else was out there. He wasn’t budging on his end. He was a married man. He could have told you that he’d changed his mind and that he didn’t want you to see anyone else. That alone would have given you hope for something you’d been wishing for. But he didn’t try and stop you. He didn’t dare give you any false hope. Because he knew he couldn’t.

.           .           .

Harry locked the door to his study when he finished the call with you. He didn’t need his wife seeing him like that. Tears in his eyes and that sick nausea came back to cause him to feel broken all over again. He’d done this to himself. It’s what was fair. But so soon? He hadn’t expected you to plan a date so quickly.

He was going to absolutely be losing his mind while you were on your date. He needed to figure out a way to get out of the house so his wife didn’t question his sudden low mood.

“Fuck…” he whispered to himself as he sat down on the hardwood floor next to his desk. What was he doing? Why had his life come to this? It was his fault. He recognized it. He’d been weak and lusting after you long before he made any moves.

It was the night of Fae’s 22nd birthday. About two years ago. They threw a big party with all of Fae’s friends. You showed up early to their house, which wasn’t out of the norm for you, being Fae’s best friend. But Fae hadn’t arrived yet and Mrs. Styles was just on her way back with the cake. Harry was in the backyard setting the chairs and cups and fixing up loose ends. It was just the two of you.

“Mr. Styles!” You snuck up behind, startling him.

He turned quickly and was caught off guard by your outfit. You were dressed for a party. A pretty thin yellow dress with small white polka dots. The top part was well fitted around your breasts and tapered at your waist where the skirt was a little more flowy and knee length. It wasn’t inappropriate and didn’t show too much skin but there was something about the way you looked in it that had him taken aback. You looked so grown. Stunning.

“Hi, Y/n. How are you, dear?” He pulled you in for a hug and he didn’t know what it was about the hug either. You were warm and had pressed your body into his and it riled something inside of him.

When he pulled away from you he kept his eyes on yours and he noticed your lips and how soft your skin was on your cheeks. Your big round eyes took him in and it felt like you were both looking at one another in a different light for the first time.

“Uh… can I help you with anything?” You quickly spoke. Suddenly appearing nervous.

“Oh… no. That’s okay. We’re pretty much done here,” he looked around the backyard and back toward you.

You turned and looked toward the house and then to him, “Is anyone else here?”

“No. Just us.”

You smiled and looked down at the grass and then backed up slightly, planting your gaze back on his, “Well, I can go back inside. Don’t want to bother you or–“

And in some moment of clarity or insanity, he couldn’t be sure, he stepped forward and wrapped his hand around your wrist, “It’s okay. You’re never a bother, Y/n.”

You looked down at where he was touching you and back into his eyes. The moment felt so intimate. So real. He watched your lips part the slightest.

“Oh. Okay.” Was all you could muster to say.

You were clearly affected by his touch. But so was Harry. His hands on your wrist felt sizzling. He couldn’t explain it. Sure he’d always seen a pretty girl when he looked at you but there was something different about you on that day.

During the party, Harry noticed that his eyes kept meeting yours. It was unspoken but the continuous search for one another didn’t stop all night. He hoped no one else saw it. He was sure no one did. And it wasn’t as if anything had really happened anyway. It was innocent. Just frequent gazes from opposite sides of the yard.

Before you left for the night you helped clean up. You found Mr. Styles boxing up the string lights and he stood up when he saw you approach him. He wasn’t sure if you were seeking him out at that very moment on purpose or not, but no one else was around to witness what you did next.

You gently reached for his hand and then stepped in to give him a hug, “This was fun, Mr. Styles.”

Your words were innocent enough but the hug was even more intimate than the first one you shared when you originally arrived. You put your arms over his shoulders and he wrapped his around your back. You both stood pressed together for longer than would have been seen as appropriate. It was definitely a signal. A shift of something deeper.

Harry turned to put his face into your hair and responded, “I’m glad you were here tonight.”

It might have been two years ago, but it was what had begun everything. From then on, he noted your longing gazes, just as he was sure you saw his too. But you both had never acted on it. Not until that day at your apartment.

.           .           .          

Good morning, puppy. I miss you.

You woke up to see Harry’s text. It made you smile. You really were head over heels for him. You couldn’t imagine that Evan could rival Harry in any way. Couldn’t imagine that you’d be gushing over anyone else the way you did over Harry.

Morning, Harry. I miss you too.

It was funny really… here you were, about to go on a date with someone while texting another. While longing for and imagining another. Was it fair to Evan? You couldn’t think clearly enough to figure that part out yet.

Evan showed up at 7 pm. On the dot. Which you found nice. He took you to a semi-fancy restaurant. Perfectly pleasant and you were happy it wasn’t too over-the-top nice.

Conversation was good. Evan was fine. He had a lot to say about things that sort of interested you. He told you about what he did at work the day before and talked about his mother, who was ill. He mentioned traveling to Italy next month, something he’d been planning on doing for over a year.

But then apologized to you about how things had ended with him all those years before.

“I’m really sorry for telling anyone about that. At the time I was just… dumb I guess. It’s one of those things in life I’ve come to regret a lot. I was glad I had the chance to see you again. And do this…” he reached for your hand across the table just before the desserts were placed down by the waiter, who luckily interrupted the cheesy moment. It gave you the ick. You didn’t like that gesture. The hand holding across the table. Maybe you just didn’t like it because it wasn’t Harry.

The restaurant was located downtown so you didn’t have to go back to his car to drive anywhere else. You left the spot with full bellies and strolled along the sidewalks and went toward the river walk area as the night sky began to take over any leftover sunlight.

It was… romantic. Truly. And Evan had been nothing but a gentleman the whole time. And he was handsome.  If you weren’t so hung up on a married man you’d surely invite him into your apartment at the end of the night.

But instead, he walked you to your door and you had to let him down. You did let him kiss you, though, but you could tell he wanted more. Wanted to have a do-over from the night before. You just weren’t there yet. Weren’t sure if you’d ever be.

“I had fun,” you placed your hand on his chest and pushed at him slightly for a bit of distance.

He grinned and tried to lean down again for another kiss but you ducked from him, turning your head as your eye caught glimpse of movement to your right. It was Harry stomping toward you with a scowl on his face.

You quickly looked back up at Evan, “Sorry. I think that–“

“Y/n. You should go inside,” Harry’s deep rasp caught Evan’s attention and he immediately let you go.

You could barely understand what was happening as you looked from Harry to Evan. Harry spoke something short and abrupt to Evan who looked at you in confusion, “What’s going on, Y/n?”

You shook your head and dug your keys out from your purse, “It’s okay. I’ll call you. I had fun and uh…” you trailed off as you turned to unlock your door, looking over your shoulder at Harry.

“Yeah, but… Are we done right now–“

“She’s done right now. I’m sure she had fun but she told you she’d call you,” Harry put himself between Evan and you as you turned back toward both men.

“But… I mean… Who are you?” Evan looked at Harry and then at you as if seeking an explanation.

“A friend. And I need to talk to her right now,” he raised his brows and stepped toward Evan in an intimidating stance.

You placed your hand on Harry’s arm, “It’s fine. He’s just leaving. Go inside.” You gestured toward your now-opened door.

Harry hesitated before finally backing off and entering your apartment.

You frowned at Evan, “I’m sorry. I had a good time with you. I will call you, okay?” You reached up and gave him another hug quickly before backing away.

The poor guy nodded and looked past you into your apartment, where Harry stood only a few feet behind you possessively before backing away and giving you a weak wave.

You let out the breath you’d been holding and quickly shut the door behind you the moment you walked into your apartment.

Harry looked distraught. He began to pace as you put your purse down. It was nearly 10:30 pm. Quite early really. For a date especially.

“So you like him?” Harry stopped pacing and put his eyes on you.

You shrugged, “I… yeah I guess. Why are you here?”

Harry clenched his jaw and you watched his throat bob as he swallowed and he looked away from you again.

“I don’t know why I’m here. I wasn’t supposed to come here.”

You stepped in closer to him and tried to get him to look at you but his eyes were anywhere but on you, “Harry. Can we sit down and talk?”

He nodded and immediately walked toward your couch, plopping down with a heavy thud and leaned forward to put his face into his hands.

You sat next to him and kept your eyes on him. He was very obviously upset. You figured you knew why.

Putting your hand on his back you spoke softly, “I had fun with him. But it wasn’t what I wanted.”

You heard him sniff and felt the sharp inhale in his back where your hand was placed, “Are you okay, Harry?”

Harry scoffed and finally turned to look at you. His eyes were red. He appeared to have been crying, “I’m sorry, Y/n. I’m acting like a child. I don’t know what I’m doing. I swear I was just going to take a drive to get my mind off of you being out with someone else but then I wound up in your parking lot and I couldn’t make myself leave before I had the chance to see you. I’m sorry.”

You moved your hand from his back and placed it in your lap. You weren’t sure how to proceed. Or if you should try to soothe him at all. Part of you felt like he should be soothing you. You were happy he was apologetic but maybe he owed you more than just a couple of apologies.

You stood up from the couch and forced yourself to feel the anger and hurt you’d felt when he suggested you seeing someone else. Forced yourself to go back to that place in your mind.

“This is what you wanted. Isn’t it? How do you think I feel?” Now it was your turn to pace.

Harry watched you as your body language changed and your face was set in a frown.

“I fucked up. Everything. I’m an idiot is what I am, Y/n,” he stood up and you watched as he neared you in the room, standing a foot in front of you, “I can’t– I don’t want to lose you but I don’t know how to deal with you seeing anyone else. Letting anyone else touch you. Kiss you like that…”

You shook your head and laughed, “Then why did you suggest it?!”

Harry closed his eyes and brought his hands up into his hair, pulling at his roots, “I don’t fucking know. Because I wanted to be good to you. Because this relationship is… It’s damaged from the beginning. Because of what this is. I thought–“ he shook his head and lowered his hands, looking at you directly, “I don’t know. It was never supposed to be like this.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “What was never supposed to be like this? What does that mean Harry?”

Harry sighed heavily and moved forward an inch, bringing himself closer to you and causing you to tilt your neck back to look up at him, “Me and you. I never intended to feel this way. I thought it would just be some fun. But you know that’s not what happened. This has turned into something–“ he shook his head, keeping his eyes on yours, “I lost control. I’m not in control, Y/n.”

You dropped your arms to your sides. You knew what he meant. Understood him completely. But you wanted to hear him say it, “I know.”

Harry gently took your fingers into his, only slotting his into yours, but not grasping at them, “You do?”

Nodding your head you spoke, “Yes. I do.”

His soft eyes were making you weak. He always made you weak. “Tell me what to do. I don’t even know anymore.”

You shook your head, “I don’t– how can I tell you what to do? I don’t even know, Harry.”

He sniffled and nodded, “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I’m changed. Something in me has changed since you– and I never thought that anything like this would ever happen but I can’t stop it.”

You squeezed his fingers between yours and pulled at him gently, “You can’t stop what, Harry? Tell me. Please.”

He knew you must already be on to him. Knew how he felt for you. Because he knew you felt the same way. Could see it in your eyes and feel it the way you touched him. You showed him how you felt every time he was with you. But to say it? Well, that felt final. That would be it. There was no turning back and he never wanted you to feel like that. Like you couldn’t seek a real relationship with someone who deserved you. Because he certainly didn’t deserve you. And saying it? What would that mean? It wasn’t as if saying it would cause any more damage than there already was.

He pulled your hands up and pressed your palms to his chest, keeping his eyes on you, “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Even though you knew that was what he was feeling, to hear him say felt different. It made you feel like there was no one else in the world, just like your fantasy of being on an island with him while everything else was burned to ash. Nothing else mattered. No one else could ever mean more to you than he did. And that was scary. Because love, even if real and pure and with good intent, doesn’t fix everything. Love won’t make him yours. Love won’t have him forsaking his family for you. Love can’t make your affair okay.

But to hear it. To know it. You allowed his words to melt over you. To cover you in warmth and comfort. The idea that this man could find space for you in his big heart.

“Harry,” you felt your silly tears begin to break from your eyes. Felt his warm hands pressing yours into his chest. “I love you too.”

You heard him inhale sharply as he let go of your hands and pulled your body flush to his. He was practically crushing you and squeezing the air from your lungs but you couldn’t care. You held onto him tightly as he rocked you back and forth. He nudged his nose against your ear and you felt his warm mouth kiss the spot on your neck just under your earlobe.

You felt delirious. Maybe it was all a dream. Perhaps you’d ended your date with Evan and this was you dreaming of the only thing your mind felt comforted by.

He brought his hands up to cup your face, “I’m going to do everything I can to make it worth it for you. For as long as you can tolerate me.”

You smiled through your tears and laughed, “Will you say it again? I wasn’t dreaming?”

Harry closed the space between you and his mouth covered yours with heat and affection. Soft but carnal with tongue and a moan into your mouth. You couldn’t find your bearings in his arms with his mouth against yours and his heart in your hands.

But then he pulled his mouth away and rested his forehead against yours, “Y/n, I love you so much.”

 A/N: I know there’s no smut in this one but if you guys know anything about me, you know I love writing smut. I promise I’ll deliver the goods with the next update.

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[kiame-sama]

Part 2 of Cuteness Lore!

Because Human Babies were very cute, what if Fae became prone to sometimes steal Human Babies from their parents when they weren’t looking? (Or in more common cases, their parents were killed/separated from their baby)

Some other species would do this too, but it was the Fae who were the most likely to do this (They couldn’t resist the cuteness)

But they kept and raised the Human Babies even as they got older because of how quickly attached the Fae Parents became over such a weak and defenseless species that they began to freak out when they started to get older and panic when they realized how short Human lives are

These Fae felt both the greatest joy and pain when their Human Children grew up and passed away in within a century

Lilia ‘jokes’ that if Reader has babies he’s going to snatch them up (This joke did not receive positively as Malleus just looked pissed over the idea of someone thinking they’re worthy to marry one of his hoard, especially HIS Human!)

Fae are- in this AU- a much longer-lived version of other non-fae species. So in the instance of Sebek, he is half Fae-Raiju (Which often have a more dog-like appearance) and half non-fae Raiju (which are often more lizard/crocodilian in appearance). There is only one species that does not have a non-Fae counterpart and that is Dragons. Alternatively, there is only one species that does not have a Fae counterpart; Humans.

Concerning the history of Humans and these Fae types, Humans would often give their lives defending their young from the many dangers that exist in Twisted Wonderland, leaving behind Human young with no parents to claim/raise them. Fae enjoyed the curious nature of Humans and were typically the first to take in an abandoned/orphaned Human due to this genuine affection for the soft little species. In more war-torn areas or places where Humans were commonly hunted, Fae would go on excursions with the sole purpose of finding Human young they could then keep and raise. Finding an unattended Human, especially Human infants, was akin to winning the parent lottery for the many Fae that adored these strange little creatures.

It broke their hearts to see how quickly Humans lived and died when put in comparison to the long lives of the Fae that raised them. Some Fae parents would suffer serious heart-break when their little Human children died and would go into a state of mourning for years. Many Human families had a Fae patriarch/matriarch because the Fae was keen to raise their Humans, their Human's infants, and their infants, and so on. Many older Fae had raised at least one Human in their lifetime, so when it was decreed that Humans were extinct, several Fae species became enraged or even violent towards any who had participated in the downfall of Humans.

Malleus is not pleased that Lilia would even suggest HIS Human be bred by anyone, let alone someone who was not him a member of his hoard. Honestly, the few Malleus would even allow to entertain the idea of breeding his Human is himself and his hoard. Everyone else be damned. Lilia knows this and he is just amused that Malleus is even considering anyone of his hoard or himself having young with this Human because he knows he is going to be the baby-sitter regardless of who the parent is (He honestly hopes he gets to be the actual parent of at least one of the Human's children and wonders if everyone in the Hoard would be willing to have a child with the Human). Lilia genuinely wants lots of infants to care for- even if they are only half-human- because he misses the super cute Humans and their infants.

[mysterycitrus]

PLEASE go off about Bruce

the popular modern character beat for bruce where he’s this truly unhinged machiavellian mega genius actively plotting his own downfall is so far divorced from his neo-noir detective roots it makes me want to tear my hair out

it really goes without saying that bruce is singularly driven by restorative justice, more than literally anyone else aside from maybe cass cain. his decision not to kill under any circumstances is not a selfish one, it’s a selfless one, because bruce understands that no one person should have the right to take a life. if killing is a legitimate action to take against a threat then anyone, whether it be an individual or an institution, can be incentivised to kill as a first resort. bruce understands the complicated nature of crime and why it occurs. he understands community and the importance of social support, and how human connection will save lives. he never wants anyone to feel the pain he felt in that alley ever again.

he’s a detective who mistrusts the police and actively works against them. combat and physical violence aren’t what drive him, it’s an unfortunate consequence of opposing corruption. if he can save a child instead of throwing a punch, he’ll do it. if he can talk someone off a ledge, he’ll make the time. he can’t unknot his own heart, but he still tries. it hurts, but he tries.

bruce’s purposeful disconnection from others out of fear of losing them is driven by selfish desire, because he is (deep down and hidden away) a profoundly loving person who believes everyone deserves a chance. this is shown in how he raised his kids — he’ll smother them to protect them while forcing himself to hold them at arms distance. when they reflect his worst habits back at him, he’s horrified. he’s objectively a bad parent. no one else should let him adopt more children. he saved dick grayson and jason todd and cass cain and tim drake. many things can be true at once.

the interpretation of him as either a brooding, violent asshole with no redeeming qualities OR a somewhat pugnacious but ultimately emotionally mature father figure both miss the point of bruce wayne’s primary motivation, being that he is still in crime alley as an eight year old, kneeling in the ground amid the pearls, and he has not moved in thirty years. he can’t leave, because if he leaves then who will be there to guide the next dick grayson, the next cass, out from those shadows and into the light? he is anchored by his own weight. so much of what he does comes from a need for control, a hyper fixation on predicting the outcome, if preventing the worst case scenario before it happens. the rest of it is love in motion.

[anonymous-dentist]

Here’s something interesting about the strip club interrogation: q!Roier knows that q!Quackity is innocent. He knows because he’s Quackity’s therapist, and because he’s purposefully let Quackity think that they’re friends, but they aren’t. Roier has been planning his revenge for weeks, biding his time, and yesterday was the perfect opportunity.

The eggs calmed things down a little. Roier didn’t actively talk about revenge as much outside of torture chamber construction. But here’s what he said to Quackity before the eggs even arrived, he said that Quackity would be his own downfall and that Roier would be watching the whole time. And Roier has been.

Roier started his psychology office to get gossip, and Quackity was one of his patients. He basically proved his innocence in that session, which Roier knows. He knows that Quackity isn’t actually going to kill any eggs because Quackity has told him as much.

But that doesn’t mean that Roier can’t take advantage of the situation, does it? Quackity is a desperate and grieving father here, and everyone is wary of him, especially now with the news that the eggs are all going to die and with people becoming worried about the Federation.

He tells q!Wilbur that Quackity wants the eggs dead. After that, Wilbur is especially unwilling to allow Quackity even near Tallulah. Roier helps Quackity and Gegg destroy Tallulah’s area and he gets away with it, Quackity being the only one to really get in any serious trouble because of it. Tallulah can’t see Quackity anymore “for her safety”, and that’s probably what Roier wanted because he knows just how much Quackity loves her. They destroyed her home just moments after Quackity admitted that he saw Tallulah as a daughter. Roier tells other fathers that Quackity is dangerous at the school, and they agree. And who would doubt Roier? He’s a good father and a good friend. He’s the babysitter. He flirts with everyone. Why wouldn’t you trust such a nice guy?

Quackity is alone.

And now in the interrogation, Roier stays silent as Quackity is essentially manipulated into a confession while drunk. Quackity is going to trial, and he’s going to lose.

Roier admitted it himself later in that stream, this was just part of his revenge against Quackity. He wants to see Quackity miserable. He wants him to feel as desperate as Roier did when he was betrayed by him, and Roier probably won’t stop until Quackity has dug his own grave and lied in it.

He said that Quackity would be the one to ruin himself, and, really, is he wrong? To everyone but Roier and his audience, it does look like this is all Quackity’s fault. Even Quackity probably thinks so.

If this is the beginning of Roier’s plans against Quackity, the guy who didn’t even kill him, it’s gonna be rough seeing what he does to Spreen.

[an-ambivalent]

Yandere! Jujutsu Kaisen Headcanons

Warnings: As this is yandere fiction, this deals with behaviours  that can be uncomfortable and triggering to read. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fictional, I do not condone this behaviour irl. By clicking the 'read more/keep reading' you are consenting to read this at your discretion.

Characters:  Satoru, Suguru, Choso and Sukuna 

Yandere! Gojo 

Type: Clingy & overprotective 

Satoru is the ‘strongest’ and yet he’s lost so much. He’s never going to lose you too; that’s why, he keeps you nice and locked up secure in his extravagant residence that only he can access. You can’t leave the premises due to the tight security procedures Satoru has in place. But you wouldn’t need to since he made sure you have access to everything you would need or want within the premises. Well, almost everything.  It’s never easy to earn Satoru’s trust given how many people pray for his downfall. However, once you become his person, you will always be his person. This is particularly after the trauma he experienced, but very specific to you. When he’s with you, he wears no masks or facades. He can be completely true to himself. He can let his insecurities and fears about not being good enough bleed freely, and he can show his ugly desperation and cling onto you like a leech without any fears that someone will take you away from him. Anytime he’s not on a mission, he spends all of his time with you. You’re the only person keeping the last of his sanity intact. He loves you, he loves you the most. So, he is never going to let you go.

Yandere! Suguru 

Type: Possessive 

There’s a turning point in Suguru’s life where everything changed, including your relationship with him. You remember when being around him felt like pure bliss. He used to be so kind, considerate, and attentive to your needs. But after that one mission, that made Getou abandon everything, all became different. 

He had abruptly showed up at your abode with empty eyes, fully drenched, and his wet clothes and hair clinging onto him. He clutched onto you and dug his  fingers into you and frantically begged you to leave with him right then and there. You were only trying to calm him down, but he had mistaken this as reluctance, hesitation, and a change in your loyalty to him. How could you even think about abandoning him when he needed you the most?! You noticed the darkness in his expression too late. He had you imprisoned to your spot with a curse he summoned without your notice. The jeer on his face was terrifying, and the glare he looked down on caused unanticipated tremors in your muscles. 

“I don’t know why I bothered asking… You’re just like everyone else. But I can’t let you leave me. Not you. You’re mine. I’ll make sure it always stays that way.”

Yandere! Choso

Type: Stalker and protective 

Typically, Choso is lax and doesn’t care too much about what you’re up to, as long as it doesn’t break any of the rules he has set for you. Few of these rules being: you can’t go anywhere without his permission, you have to tell him everything and give regular updates if he cannot accompany you. Typically, he is always watching you from the shadows. Even without your regular updates, he knows what you’re up to because if he can’t follow you for some reason, then he makes one of his siblings keep tabs on you and report back to him. 

Choso really cherishes you. He does whatever he is capable of to take care of you. He believes that it is duty to look after you and protect you. He will ruthlessly hurt and kill anyone that hurts you, or believes will hurt you. 

Although Choso wouldn’t normally hurt you, there are instances where he might do something so that you depend on him. Choso enjoys being needed. He loves it even more when you rely on him for the most mundane things. It makes him feel like you cannot live without him just like how he cannot live with you. So, if there was ever a time where he feels that you’re becoming distant and trying to strive for independence, you might ‘accidentally’ have a fracture or two so he can support you and be there for you again. 

Yandere! Sukuna 

 Type: Sadistic & possessive 

Sukuna has a preference for pain. Causing pain is how he felt free and exhilarated, causing pain is how he felt powerful, and causing pain is how he expressed his love. You’re an innocent petite being… Well, you are in comparison to his demon form. No matter what your size is, from Sukuna’s perspective, everything and everyone is smaller and beneath him. 

He loves you the way a monster can love and cherish their most prized treasure or pet. You may not be his only lover, but you are his number one. You’re the closest to perfection he craves and your innocence, opposite to his corrupted self, is what draws him in. He wants to be the reason for your ruin, your corruption. He wants to be the devil who shows you how delightful temptation is, pull you in, and just when you’re on the edge, tear off your wings, and shackle you to him so that you can never leave him. So you only belong to him. 

[echantedtoon]

Perhaps In Another Life P2

Part 2 of this let's go!

This is inspired by a similar post by @o3o-aya and I wanted to put my own take now. Daki will be included but their own parts will be PLATONIC!! COMPLETELY PLATONIC!!

Summery is the reactions of the Upper/Lower Moons watching you run back to your Haishira s/os upon their defeat. Will stay sfw etc.

Warnings for yandere themes, kidnapping mentions, death, Karaku and Enmu ARE their own warnings, possibly some innuendos,etc.

Zohakuton will be included as a part of Hantengu's but bit he's written as PLATONIC!!

ENMU:

Your husband warned you not to get on trains.

This was the reason why. How you ended up being trapped by a sadistic gremlin like demon who took fascination in you. First it was just an idea to hold you as bait for your Flame Haishira husband seen sneaking around the trains lately but it quickly became a more intimate fascinating for him as he watched your dreams and thought the tears you had as you begged to be reunited with your husband was so delicious.

So that's why he cursed those brats who killed him and glared with the hatred of a thousand nightmares at the Haishira who gave him a similar stare of his own holding you unconscious body in his arms.

However he's smugly satisfied knowing he forever put the fear of loosing each other in your minds. His part will always be in your minds.

GYUTARO (+PLATONIC UME/DAKI):

He knew something was up when Daki brought back a woman that was infiltrating the houses to find them. Stupid really. But he had her comb through the other houses quickly in order to cut down on anyone.

She ended up finding three other women including you.

You were so pretty. So pretty it made his sister pause seeing her brother's reaction to you and gave her the idea of keeping you as a kind of doll and gifting you to her brother. He agreed. Asked his sister to get rid of your wives. Got angry when he learnt you married. Got angrier when your husband showed up looking for his wives.

And now here he was crying out to his sister and blaming her for allowing those damned brats to find where they hid you. Watching with tears as you were group hugged by your wives. Clinging to your severely injured husband as poison pulsed through his body.

He wanted to cry out for you. But his mouth was already disintegrated. All he could do was cry a few miserable angry tears and hope in your next life he could claim you first.

HANTENGU (+CLONES):

You were kind and compassionate. That's what the Love Haishira loved most about her girlfriend, a.k.a You. And you loved her just as much. Unfortunately it was that kindness that was your downfall. You showed some kindness outta fear when you ran into the Upper Moon Four, and he had taken you.

Deluding himself into believing that you two were in love all along and the evil slayer brainwashed you into thinking you were in love with her instead.

So he couldn't stop sobbing when he saw the pink haired woman he had been fighting swinging you around in her arms happy to have you back. You were crying too, latching onto her as she twirled you around.

COULDN'T YOU SEE HE WAS THE VICTIM ALL ALONG?!

SEKIDO:

DAM SLAYERS!! DAM YOU!! HOW DARE THEY TAKE YOU FROM HIM!! HOW DARE YOU EMBRACE THAT WOMAN!! He's angry with everyone until the bitter end as he watches through Zohakutan's eyes.

URAMI:

Like Sekido he's so angry and bitter! He resents the way you chose your wide over them and he resents the pink haired Haishira most of all.

AIZETSU:

CRYING. SOBBING. He wants to yell out to you and beg you to come back. They'll be better he promises! Unfortunately his tears and turmoil can't be heard outside of Zohakutan as they all disintegrate into coming.

KARAKU:

He's mostly numb to be honest. He wants to say something but doesn't know what to say. He couldn't anyways even if he tried being trapped inside with the other three. But he does feel deep regret making you cry like that.

UROGI:

His first instinct is to try and make Zohakutan screech at them. He panics when he realizes that he's unable to do that. Like Aizetsu, panics and cries from within where no one can hear them.

ZOHAKUTAN:

Like Urami and Sekido, he's angry and resentful. However being the clone of hatred it's amplified to the extremes as he hears the other sevens' mixed reactions.