#toxic friends

[hayatheauthor]

"Why do you care so much about accidentally leaving people out?" Because I've had friend groups where they were the planets and I was their Pluto.

I've had friend groups where our dynamics revolved around a Sun, with everyone vying for their attention if only to bask in their light for a mere moment. Where our thinly strung bonds collapsed the second our Sun left.

I've had friend groups where they bonded as Saturn's rings, finding solace in their shared shortcomings while isolating those more talented than them.

But I've also had friend groups where we bond as Neptune and Uranus—so similar we could be known as twins. Friend groups like Venus and Earth: so awfully different, yet it was those differences that kept us together.

And I would rather create a social system like the latter than the former.

[selfhealingmoments]

[writethatdown]

a reminder that when you are distancing yourself from people, situations and things that are toxic, but were a great priority in your life in the past, there will be times when you doubt if you could really do it. there will be times when you would want to crawl back to the comfort you had known. it may get lonely. sending love to all those people who are trying their best to hold up the choice to cut off toxic things even when the decision feels so utterly bitter. i want to remind you that there is no shame in missing the person, the situation or that thing, craving the comfort, wishing that things were different. there might even be instances where you fall back to the familiar patterns. and life will continuously show you why it didn't work out, continuously try to remind you that you deserve better. please do not shame yourself for struggling with this love. the lesson cannot be forced. the journey cannot be fast paced. let things flow. i promise you, at the end of this journey there is win, and there is a better future with people and places and things that truly belong to you and that you truly deserve. it can be a very lonely time, and i know that it's gnawing. it is painful. i am sending you lots of love and strength your way ♡

[libraalynn]

[morepeachyogurt]

i love you, i do, but i cannot fucking stomach you

1. richard siken | 2. david foster wallace | 3. slavoj žižek | 4. x? | 5. succession, jesse armstrong. gif by @lesbiankendall | 6. orla gartland | 7. trista mateer | 8. ilya repin | 9. iain thomas | 10. thoroughbreds, cory finley | 11. yrsa daley-ward |

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1. sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them

2. [in red highlight] everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.

3. [white text on a background of a field] A FRIEND HAS TO BE OUTSIDE MY REACH, BEYOND MY GRASP. AND THERE CAN BE NO FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHOM I AM NOT READY TO BETRAY: A FRIEND IS SOMEONE I CAN BETRAY WITH LOVE.

4. Long before Caesar and Brutus were lessons, they were friends. // They played with stick swords in their kingdom of trees // and dressed up in crowns of flowers // and painted mud on each other's faces. // The pair was often found walking down dirt roads, // Caesar stomping proud and tall, // and Brutus- step by step- placing his feet into the footprints left behind. // Caesar grew into a strong Roman man. // Brutus grew into Caesar's shoes. // They walked to a wishing well and they threw in their weapons // and Caesar whispered a prophecy: // "We live and die together." // The day before the slaughter, Brutus took pause. // He turned to Caesar and thought // "I'll love you twice as hard today to make up // for tomorrow," // and they stayed up and played cards on the kitchen floor. // It wasn't until the next morning that Brutus realized how cold the tile was. // Life and death are not mutually exclusive. // When Caesar died, so did Brutus, in the sense that he never really lived again. // In the present, when someone mentions one of them, // they seldom exclude mention of the other.

5. a scene from succession. the characters kendall and stewy are in a dimly lit alley, one walks away from the other while saying “you’re my third oldest friend. you fucked me like a tied goat. we’re great.”

6. I'm not happy if you're not happy // And swear that you're always sad // You're pathetic, I resent it // When you're down, it hurts so bad

7. I've gotten so good about not flinching at the sound of your name that people don't know I'd still throw myself mouth-open into the ocean for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.

8. the painting ‘Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivana’. it depicts a man holding another man who is bleeding profusely from his head.

9. there are a million ways to bleed, but you are by far my favorite.

10. scene from the movie thoroughbreds. a character lays crying wrapped around her friend, she is covered in blood, her friend is unconscious.

11. [in pink highlight] and be wary of friends, yeah? they are the ones who kill you, in the end.

[laurenwalshart]

It’s really hard coming out of a toxic situation. You start to see all the things in your own life that fell away and fell apart because you were SO focused on keeping someone else happy. You can’t help but feel a little grief about the time lost.

Remember if you can give that much to someone else you can give it to yourself too.

[deprixpainsblog]

Ich sag einfach nichts mehr dann muss ich nicht allen erklären wieso ich jetzt wieder so bin wie ich bin.

[queerism1969]

Unpopular opinion but telling me to “be the bigger person” loosely translates to: “Accept the disrespect and just let it happen even if it violates your boundaries” and you can go suck a gas station toilet bowl if you think I’m gonna let that shit slide.

[limerence-leftovers]

I know two men who are currently single. One is 26, and the other is 38.

I’ve spoken with both of them at length about what they want in a woman, seeing as they’re cishet and white.

They both immediately went for physical attributes. Thin, but needs to have a nice butt. Boobs can’t be too big. One likes short hair, the other likes long hair. They also went into facial features for some reason. That was the part that made me really uncomfortable as I hadn’t expected either of them to have been that focused on appearances.

Aesthetics came next. Both want ‘alt goth / witchy’ women. It should be worth noting both of these men said their potential partner can’t wear too much makeup.

Lastly came personality and interests. They both said this is the most important thing to them, but they also ‘have to be pretty’. Oh, and they need to listen.

I have some single ladies I’ve also spoken with.

It’s the opposite. They rarely care about looks. It’s about chemistry, emotional connection, feeling safe, and sharing common goals / ideals.

While I know it’s not ‘all men’ it sure as fuck is a lot of you. Also both of these men think they’re part of the ‘good cishet white liberal men’ who voted for Kamala, despite one of them not voting at all.

He’s the 38 year old. To make things worse, he’s trying to date a 24 year old. 🤷‍♀️ His criteria for a potential partner was also under the age of 30 because it means less baggage and they’re still ‘fun to be around’.

You don’t want to know what he doesn’t bring to the table. Either of them, rather. 😅

We do have a male loneliness epidemic, but it’s not women’s fault. We don’t owe you anything. We’re not vending machines you put tokens into and get sex out of. Male culture made by men and perpetuated by men has made men this way. And it’s your job as men to fix it, not point the finger at us and say it’s our fault for not wanting to be with you. Some of us like myself want to actually HELP you, but you guys rarely want to listen. You instead want to complain to us about our gender and how unfair we’re being by not giving you a chance.

We don’t owe you anything.

On January 20th, 2025 and forward, they’re going to try to take our rights. They may succeed.

Men have to take from us because they’ve gaslit themselves into seeing us as the enemy, despite having driven us away by their own actions centered around self interest.

“It’s not all men. But it sure is a lot of you.”

[chaosmagicwanda]

No matter how good you could be to somebody, no matter how much you love them, they can and will turn their backs on you.

[melancholicvnt]

ill never forget just how bad i was treated by the same people who i sacrificed my hours of time and energy for.

[selfhealingmoments]

[the-jesus-pill]

Here’s a friendly reminder!

You are allowed to say ‘no’.

You are allowed to hang up the phone.

You are allowed to ignore calls.

You are allowed to delete emails, texts and messages.

You are allowed to ignore the doorbell.

You are allowed to decline invitations.

You are allowed to lie about why you can’t / won’t go. 

You are allowed to refuse gifts or give them away.

You are allowed to prioritize yourself or your friends over family.

You are allowed to leave. 

You are allowed to leave without saying goodbye. 

You are allowed to withhold politeness to those who disrespect you.

You are allowed to express your anger.

You are allowed to shut someone out. 

[dawnthefox24]

Okay so I saw a gameplay of Rot in Paradise and I must say I have an understanding on what happen towards the ending of the game...It honestly hits pretty hard if you see it from a different angle from.

SO WARNING SINCE THIS CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS OF THE GAME TO PLEASE BE ADVISE TO PLAY THE GAME FIRST/WATCH THE GAMEPLAY OF ROT IN PARADISE BEFORE READING THIS POST AND WHAT THE MESSAGE OF THE ENDINGS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE. ALSO IF YOU DECIDE TO READ THIS WITHOUT WATCHING THE GAMEPLAY/PLAY THE GAME...Well that's your choice can't force you to do what you want. So again spoilers for RIP

Anyways here are my analysis and how the ending is a metaphor about letting go toxic people in your life....

So gonna cut to the chase of the ending, mainly with June talking about her cousin being involved with toxic friends, and how she was there for her.

Now June stated that she wished her cousin left sooner, which is valid but also it's hard to leave the people you know for such a long time.

Now I have been in a toxic friend group before and like June. Which made me feel for her and I've grown to like a few of the characters. (Mainly all of her friends)

June loves and care for her friends deeply which you can tell in the game, but over time they start to change and slowly become aggressive and lash out at her to the point one of them physical harmed her.

Her friends start to dismiss her and her feelings, but she wants to help them. She cares for them and wants to know how to help them but in the end they don't want her help. With the scene of everyone heading towards the ocean drowning shows you can drown yourself with theses people or you can let them go as they drown themselves.

June wanted to save them badly, I do believe Ryan was her friend but it was stated by June that Ryan was a "pushover" and easily "Peer Pressured" now I don't think that was the case if Ryan "drowning" in fact it was the way that June wanted to stay with her friends wanting them to help them, so when she talked with Ryan saying what if they were the weird ones. Which made him rethink his choices and go with the friend group towards the end, he still cared about June and honestly he was a good friend but her words made him rethink his choice which isn't June's fault, in fact I believe she wanted and Ryan wanted to be wrong. They've known Carmen,McCoy, and Vonnie to be their closest friends. (Though that's a theory of mine of why Ryan "drowned")

In both ending if pick to fallow them, your drowning with a toxic friend group which is hard because you love and care about them which is why June doesn't resurface . I've been their before I was friends with a few people and I thought I knew them only for them to lash out at me because I wanted to help.

The whole point of RIP isn't a monster or some Lovecraftian horror, it more about how hard it is to leave/stay with a toxic friend group.

Like I said I was like June, but it's up to the players that decide June's faith.

If you choose to let go of them, which is the good ending, she's mourning her friends, it's hard to lose friends. I cried losing my friends because I love and care about them. Like how June loved and cared for them as well.

It's hard seeing your friends true self and like Ryan said to June. "If what they're doing would cause them to hurt you, then that's not normal."

When Ryan said that that shit hit pretty close to home, because he knows them and they wouldn't hurt either him or June but of course the "vacation" shattered the mask of facade.

Again RIP is a good game it isn't like dead plate, married in red, and so on. But it hits close to home about how hard it is letting go of the people you see as a second family.

But yeah that's my two cents. Again this game hits pretty close to home if people understand what June is going through, I want to help my friends only for them to push away, making me think I was in the word and how they made me believe I was wrong that I was changing, how they didn't understand me or I didn't understand their feelings...Again nonetheless the game is amazing and really heartfelt.

I love June, she is like me and wants to help people but sometimes the people you know and care for sometimes don't want to be helped. It hurts knowing you can't help them and it hard to let go of the people you love but its better then drowning with them, you can mourn them but it's up to them to change for the better or the worst.

[leroleroart]

Irreparable damage

[yourhealingjournal]

i hope you get to a point where you don’t need closure to have that event not be a thorn on your side any longer. i’m sorry it still hurts; i hope relief comes to you soon.