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rom-e-o · 21 days ago

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Oof, our little conversation between the boys has got me considering things. Imagine Adonis and Connie double-dating with Bess before she and Wolf finally come together. I doubt it's every date, maybe mostly only on the ones where Bess is meeting with guys from dating apps (I doubt she had a very long stint trying those) or guys she's been set up with. If they don't meet the guy on the first date and he and Bess make it to the third and Bess is liking him, that's a double date, as she wants potential suitors to meet her friends fairly early. They are an important part of her life after, Connie especially. And usually the guy cuts things off quick after that for various reasons.

Just imagine Adonis watching all of these young guys flit in and out of Bess' sphere, most of whom she doesn't click with, the handful she does leaving her in the dust as fast as they came in. It reminds him a bit of Charlie when they grew up, actually. Then turning around and seeing Charlie and Bess together and him just trying his hardest not to wring his brother's neck for refusing to see what he so obviously sees. "These plonkers suck the life out of her and you give it back! And you still don't believe you're RIGHT for her?! You TIT!"

Okay, so ... I kind of ran with this idea. For 15 pages. I've been mulling this over for a long time. I ended up turning it into a little fic, with some additional help from the chatted conversations we talked about the Twins having, haha.

Adonis can see Bess serves better, and decides to take matters into his own hands. sometimes, you need the power of an outside perspective!

All's Well That Ends Well

“Yeah, um, this isn’t going to work, love.” Markus, age 31, at the jazz club.

“Have you thought about a push-up bra? You’d look bangin’ if you showed more skin!” Cesar, age 29, at the boat races.

“What chit doesn’t sleep with a guy on the first date nowadays? Prude.” Brandon, age 26, at the nightclub.

“Look, you’re nice, but … I just don’t think we’re clicking. I’m sorry. I-I don’t want to waste your time. Maybe I can … call you instead?” Ahmed, age 32, at the ice-skating rink.

Bess sighed. He’d never even asked for her phone number, but she let him go without argument. Truth be told, they didn’t have much in common anyway. He was a graphic designer with his eyes on his career. Plus, he had seemed more interested in casual banter than a seriously romantic relationship. A taciturn half-date was all it took to determine that.

“Sure,” she called back with a weak wave. “Be safe getting home.”

“You as well, Elizabeth.”

At least he was kind about it, she thought. That was way more than she could say for a lot of the others. I hope he finds someone he clicks with.

As Bess watched the tall, handsome man slowly skate toward the entrance of the outdoor ice rink, she reclined against the iron railing. Her body sank forward, heavy with disappointment in someone she didn’t even know. It made her feel … silly? No. Defeated? Yes, it felt much more accurate.

Hot tears burned her eyes, and she cursed herself for it. The last thing she wanted after another bad date was to cry in public about it.

“Bess?”

At the sound of her best friend’s inquiring voice, Bess lifted her head, the furred earmuffs jostling slightly atop her obsidian curls. She was met with the sight of Constance skating toward her, arms stuck out ahead of her and her fingers splayed. With her knees knocked inward and her ankles shaking more severely than windchimes in a thunderstorm, she looked completely helpless in a way that even her fashionable brown coat and pink cashmere dress couldn’t distract from.

“H-Help,” Constance squawked awkwardly, sailing forward at a snail’s pace.

The sight caused Bess to forget her tears and literally puff a cloud of laughter into the winter air.

“You’re looking a little lost out there.” She quickly yanked up the lapel of her powder blue coat and blotted a tear away. “Wasn’t it your idea to go skating?”

Constance laughed as she clamped onto Bess and held on. “I-It wasn’t my brightest, I’ll admit.”

The redhead then paused before glancing around, noticing the absence of company. Bess dreaded the inevitable question she knew her soul-sister wanted to ask, but it never came. Instead, she saw Connie looking out over the ice in mute understanding. That, for some reason, stung worse.

“He wasn’t into it,” Bess explained, answering the unspoken question, “And, to tell you the truth, I wasn’t either. We couldn’t find a single thing to talk about, Con.”

“I’m so sorry, Bess.”

“…Con, be honest, is something wrong with me?”

“No!” Her grip tightened as the word surged from her lips.

“You would tell me if there was, right?” Bess asked, the tears threatening to return. Her own legs began to tremble in her skates. “B-Because all these guys keep—”

“You’re putting yourself out there to a whole ocean of fish,” Constance reminded her softly, reaching up to help dab a warm tear away from her friend’s cheek.

“And I’m only attractive to the losers, I guess.”

“Oh, Bess—”

"Ladies?”

The deeper, London-accented voice interjected itself politely into the conversation. The inquiring voice belonged to Ebenezer Charles Scrooge (nicknamed “Adonis” by the lovestruck Connie), who had just successfully escaped from a young entrepreneur trying to use their chance meeting at the ice rink as a chance to pitch his extremely niche business idea.

Earlier in the evening, he’d been the one to serve as Constance’s lifeline on the ice so Bess and her date could have some time on the double-date to be alone and chat more. However, upon being dragged unwillingly into the earlier conversation, he’d turned around to find his girlfriend missing.

Seeing that she was clinging to Bess’ arm for stability, he initially felt relief, then was hit with a wave of uncertainty. He quickly noted that the young man that Bess had brough on their outing was nowhere to be seen. Not only that, but the ladies both wore twin masks of melancholy. That most certainly wasn’t promising.

“I say, is everything alright?” he asked again, more softly the second time.

Bess tried to nod with her usual spunkiness, but her misty eyes deceived nobody. His face fell at the obvious sadness in her eyes.

“Oh, my dear girl,” he started, but Bess shook her head quickly.

“No, no, no,” she said quickly, blinking her eyes rapidly in a desperate attempt to hide tears. “Please, don’t. It’s fine. I’m fine. I promise you. I-I was just telling Con. We weren’t really clicking, anyway.”

“Uh-huh,” he said slowly, studying her expression. She didn’t seem fully well, he noted. Not as well, and definitely not as casual, as he was pretending to be. “I see.”

“Plus, he was nice about it. Way nicer than a lot of the other guys.”

She sniffled again, despite herself, and Connie’s reassuring grip tightened. “Oh, Bess … what can we do for you, dear?”

“Shall we hang up the skates and go for a stroll instead?” Ebenezer posed quickly. His skill of thinking on his feet in business negotiations occasionally came in handy in other areas of life. “You know, I have an idea! We passed Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland when the sun was still setting – I’m sure festivities are in full swing by now. I can hail us a cab, and we’ll be there in no time.”

“Ah, that sounds wonderful! Come, why don’t we—”

“No, please, you two are still on a date,” she reminded them, inhaling with a hiss. A date I’m probably ruining for you, she moped internally, knowing that vocalizing that statement would only make her feel even more sour. This wasn’t even the first time this had happened.

“Please, enjoy yourselves. Go, skate.”

Even if she was having a miserable time, the last thing she wanted to do was ruin her best friend’s date with a man she genuinely seemed to like. Even better, he seemed to return those affections proudly and promptly.

She could never forgive herself if her own emotions even played a slight role in sabotaging anything.

“What about you?” Adonis asked in genuine concern. The prospect of leaving someone in a vulnerable state alone amidst a sea of people was unappealing, especially since she was becoming quite a close friend of his as well. He felt compassion and empathy for her.

After all … both he, and his twin brother, had been in similar situations.

She laughed, trying to make merry despite her resignation. “Dates are usually for two people, right?”

“Nonetheless—"

“I just … think I’d like a moment alone,” Bess finally admitted. “Just to think. Breathe.”

Constance tenderly laid a hand on her friend’s shoulder. The look on her face must have been exceptionally dire because Bess snorted fondly at the sight. A spark of playful sass returned as she said, “Con, it’s okay. Thank you for worrying, really … but it’s just a bad date. There are worse things. I’m not gonna go rogue or jet off into the night, okay? I promise.”

The words were delivered with such poise that both were genuinely surprised when she gently unwound her arm from Constance’s embrace and quickly stepped onto the ice. With an artful strut, she set off across the silvery surface like a swan slipping onto a frozen lake, her curls spiraling behind her like inky ribbons. Flecks of ice danced off her heels, sending small puffs of glitter into the night air with each swish of her legs.

“Bess, please wait!” Constance wobbled toward the ice to give chase but was quickly rendered off-balance without anything to lean on. She flailed her arms briefly before Ebenezer swept in and caught her. One arm circled her waist while the other grabbed the railing for added stability.

“Are you alright, dear?” he asked, but she wasn’t listening.

She only stared ahead at the silvery trails that her friend had left behind.

Ebenezer followed her gaze, his mind pondering what to do. After a moment of searching the crowds, he set his jaw firmly, his intention hardened. He urged Constance upright and, still holding onto her, walked her over to a nearby bench located just at the edge of the rink.

“I’m going after Bess,” he said, his hand lofting from her waist to cup her cheek. “I’ll make sure she’s okay. If she really wants to be left alone, I’ll respect her wishes and won’t pressure her, but…”

But he couldn’t just let her go off alone and in such a state, especially if there was something he could do to help.

“I’m sorry to leave you,” he said.

“No, please do,” Constance said, leaning into his touch. “Please check on her. I think it might be helpful for you to talk to her. From your perspective as a gentleman, I mean.”

It was an inappropriate time to color from praise, but he allowed himself the brief indulgence. He nodded, and after one last plea for her to please not try to move, he stepped onto the ice and drifted to the other side of the rink.

All things considered, the outdoor rink was larger in size than one might expect.

Despite being in London’s financial district, which was notorious for hair-wide alleyways and tangled footpaths, a decent chunk of the normally busy roadway had been temporarily blocked off for the short-term installation. The outdoor space couldn’t hold a candle in size to large skate-ways or rinks like the ones at Canary Wharf or Kensington Palace, but it was a lovely novelty for the many wealthy individuals who worked or resided close to the district.

As other couples held hands and skated beneath the archways of twinkling holiday lights, Bess found herself skating to an alcove off to the side. The area was somewhat desolate, its ethereal tranquility only slightly marred by the encroaching shadows of the nearby skyscrapers.

In fact, other than the unavoidable urban sprawl around them, the city had done a good job at making the installation feel festive. Lit sculptures of angels and icy archways lined the perimeter, and the feathery layer of snow perfectly dusted the overhang of wreaths and giant jingle bells suspended above the ice. It was a scene all too befitting of a holiday greeting card.

The spectacle of it all reminded Bess of when she’d watched holidays special of skaters in mink coats and pristine white skates dancing on ice at Rockefeller Center in New York. The setting had looked so … unreal. Like it was a movie set, not a place where real people would skate.

However, she’d never skated at Rockefeller. No, her memories involved her father taking her to a frozen lake back in Ohio, where she remembered him lacing her tiny ice skates and her laughing until her lungs were sore from all their antics. George would keep her little hands warm by caging them in his, and they would spend the entire midday practicing twirls and swoops.

She’d taken to ice-skating somewhat naturally back then, and even on a rink of crowded people, she’d been able to bob and weave through them without issue. The movements brought her no joy, however. Skating wasn’t something she liked to do alone. It wasn’t any fun without a partner.

“Get a grip on yourself,” Bess mumbled under her breath, clutching her gloved hands into fists.

As if the scenario of crying in public wasn’t humiliating enough, she didn’t want to be seen crying in front of her best friend’s boyfriend.

Yet, it seemed fate had other things in store.

“E-Elizabeth!”

The call made her breath stall in her frosted lungs. She turned quickly, operating only on instinct. “W-Wo…?”

No, it wasn’t him. The voice belonged to Ebenezer, who was skating her way, his cheeks (and nose) red from the cold.

That was right, she thought. If it would have been Ebenezar Charles Scrooge (nicknamed “Wolf”), Ebenezer’s twin brother, he would have called her ‘Bess’ without a second thought. The two had met and fostered a strong friendship since Bess’ time in London. They were close, and good friends.

Very, very good friends.

…She’d been so excited at the prospect of it being him that she had thrown logic out the window.

“W-What are you doing?” she asked him. “W-Where is Connie?”

“Sitting down on a bench,” he said with a light laugh. He bent slightly at the waist to catch his breath. “Don’t worry, I did not leave her stranded on the ice.”

“Well, thank goodness for that!” she replied, arching an obsidian brow. “…Did you come to check on me?”

“Yes.”

She sighed, sinking against the railing. “Please. I told you already. I’ve already made a royal mess of way too many double-dates—”

“I don’t recall you making a royal mess of anything.”

“—And now I’ve pulled you away from your actual date to come and coddle me.”

“I’m not here to coddle you,” he said, drifting beside her and assuming a post at the railing beside her. “I’m here to talk to you.”

Bess glanced up at him, her gaze forlorn … but slightly curious, perhaps? Perhaps cautious was a better word. “Eliza—erm, Bess. Apologies. I … I don’t know you as well as my brother does, but I feel like you need to know something.”

He cleared his throat and averted his gaze slightly. “I, erm, don’t know much about courtship or dating, I suppose is what it’s called now. I only dated one woman in my twenties, and it didn’t end as I would have liked it to. Now, with Connie … I find myself remembering what it felt like to be in the company of an admired lady. The way I want to hold and conduct myself has changed greatly, and I want to make sure that she feels respected and happy.”

He swung his head toward her. “When I see a woman like you struggling to find a man that treats you how you deserve to be treated, it is beyond frustrating.”

“Frustrating?”

“Yes. You are the type of woman any half-decent man would love to have as a partner. To see all these immature louts with no positive qualities brush you off as if you’re a leftover cut from the butcher? It’s a disgrace.”

She blinked her eyes slowly. “Y-You don’t think I’m the problem? Really?”

“I know you’re not the problem,” he said, his tone adamant as granite. “My brother would agree heartily with that, just so you know.”

“Wolf would?” Bess asked, perking up a bit. Now she was curious, Adonis noted with amusement. Not that he was surprised. He could obviously see that she fancied him. Constance could as well. As could everyone else in their growing social network. The only thing more obvious than her adoration of him was the fact that he knew his twin brother absolutely pined over her in return, and had for many months.

Perhaps he could get two birds with one stone, he thought.

“You recall me mentioning that I didn’t have much experience at dating, yes?” he started. “Well, Charlie does have more experience. He’s had a few girlfriends, some more serious than the others.”

He treaded carefully, unsure how much Bess knew. There was only so much of his brother’s dirty laundry he felt comfortable airing. When she remained silent, he continued on.

“Well, there’s a reason for that. You see, he always puts his whole heart into each relationship. He wants true partnership, not a fling. Oh, he’ll blush and deny it all day long, but after decades of loneliness, he wants to find someone to settle down with. To love, and to marry.”

Bess’ heart leapt in her chest as the words resonated with her.

“With these other ladies, it was obvious to see their priorities laid elsewhere,” Adonis said. “Certainly not in romance. He would plan lovely dates tailored around the lady’s interests, he would buy gifts … he would lay his heart bare for each one of them … and I watched each one stomp all over it. They always cracked and admitted that it was for the money and would leave. A shameless lot.”

“Multiple women rejected him?” she asked, unable to make her disbelief. How was that possible? She knew he’d dated before – they were friends, after all, so she knew that much – but not that his struggles had been so relatable.

“Yes,” he replied, the word more or a sigh than spoken sentiment. “Every time he introduced me to a new date of his, I knew how it would end. On some level, I think he did too.”

“Then … why did he keep …?”

Adonis’ brow slacked, the wrinkles smoothing and his gaze dipping to the ground. In that moment, he looked almost forlorn. “Who wants to be alone forever?”

He watched as the woman across from him fell silent, angling her face just slightly away. Perhaps it was his imagination, but he thought he saw her nod.

Just as words threatened to fail him, an idea sparked in his mind. Quickly, he turned in the dark to seek out a specific building tucked amongst the other financial high-rises and modern storefronts of London’s financial district.

As his eyes fell upon the set of tall windows belonging to S&C Financials, he saw that the lights in the office were all.

Specifically, the light in the room he knew to be his brother’s office was on. It glowed like a lighthouse beacon in a sea of otherwise black windows.

There was a certain someone that could lift her spirits more than he or Connie ever could.

“I’m sorry, but I have to step away for a moment,” he told her. His hand went to his coat pocket, as if he was fumbling for his phone. “A call, I’m afraid. I’ll be right back! Please stay on the rink, yes?”

Bess let him go with a wave, not paying his excuse much mind. After all, he’d given her many other fascinating points to mull over.

<><><>

Wolf tapped away at his desktop keyboard with one hand while the other cradled his forehead, his fingers tapping an aggravated rhythm against his temple.

On the monitor was a long list of financial transactions that another London nonprofit had submitted for their review. They were having their expenses audited and had reached out to S&C Financials, who they saw as peers in a sea of red tape and building paperwork piles, for advice as budgeting for the next financial quarter quickly approached. It was a favor, through and through, and Wolf was now paying the price for kindness.

They posed the mystery that their donation withdrawal figures from their online accounts were vastly out of sync, but the accountant swore up and down the numbers from the reports were true. ‘I pulled right from a CSV report,’ they’d added, as if that would help.

For cash donations, yes, he’d been correct. The transfer rate was 100%.

However, for digital contributions, he hadn’t factored in service fees. Now, he was staring at a list of donations with 5% deductions, creating a different between the gross and net totals. The non-profit had submitted their figures based on the gross donation provided, before the deduction was ultimately process out of the overall donation cost.

Most charities enabled an automatic processing fee, similar to a tax, to be applied additionally at check-out as a loophole. This non-profit had not.

“How in the bloody hell did they make such an error?” he asked himself with a sigh. He reread the email and groaned, sitting upright. “Of all the—”

Beep, beep.

The sound of the office’s entry pad recognizing a valid I.D. snapped him out of his frustration. He blinked, checking the clock on his desktop to see if it could have been security making hourly rounds. No such luck – there were still thirty-six minutes left in the hour.

With that possibility null, he slowly craned his neck to peer out through his open office door. “Hello? Who is there?”

Footsteps approached his office, and for a second, he thought that perhaps one of the custodial staff members had entered the space. Yet, the footfalls sounded too awkward and fast. Was someone breaking in?

Just when he thought to maybe reach for a paperweight or letter-opener, a familiar silhouette appeared in the doorway. It was his face, his figure, his appearance entirely, except for shorter hair.

Wolf heaved a heavy sigh of relief, sinking back into his editor’s chair. His blunt fingertips steepled in front of his face. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“You must have heard me key in,” Adonis said.

“You never come in on Saturdays anymore,” he argued. “Not since you and Constance started courting.”

“Aw, this that an admission that you miss me?”

“Hardly,” Wolf replied sarcastically, his attention drifting back to the screen. His fingers began to type away at the keyboard again, the keys polished and dented from ample use over the years. “The last thing I need on top of our list of plentiful inquiries is you and our secretary canoodling outside my door.”

He chose to disregard that comment. “Ah, so you’re working.”

“I was, dear brother. Is there a reason you popped in?” Wolf paused his typing, then cocked his lead like a confused pup. “Gods, your nose is as red as a tomato. And … are those ice skates?”

“Yes, actually. From tonight’s double-date.”

“Ah, that’s right, Bess mentioned that,” he said, his demeanor shifting slightly as he spoke her name. “She said she was going one with someone. Never mentioned a name.” Or maybe she had, and he was too disappointed to remember.

“Yes.”

“But now you’re here.”

“Obviously,” Adonis replied, getting impatient. They didn't have infinite time.

“…Constance already dumped you, then?”

“No! She did not – ugh, no, but we did lose someone. Bess’ date. I don’t know the idiot’s name. Who even cares?”

“Wait, Bess’ date … left her?”

Without invitation, Adonis stepped inside and dropped the skates on the floor by the chair in front of the large desk. Small clumps of shaved ice flaked off on the rug, then melted instantly on contact. He sank into the chair, his heavy coat scrubbing against the leather backing, and sighed.

“Stop working and come to the ice rink.”

One of Wolf’s bushy brows lofted. “W-Whatever for?”

He knew what for, Adonis noted, patience waning. “For Bess.”

Realization sparked in his eyes. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Charlie, the woman dashed away from Connie and I to be alone, and I found her trying to not cry on the other side of the rink, all alone,” he said. “She’s bloody devastated.”

The note of silence was also deafening. “She must have really liked him, I suppose.”

“Oh, you are a bloody MORON!”

“What do you want me to do?” Wolf asked, splaying his arms out. “I’m sorry Bess’ date left her. The man is a moron! But my presence would not help her feel better, I’m sure. I’d muddy things up and make things even more miserable, I’m sure.”

“You obviously don’t know how much she cares for you.”

“There is nothing but friendship between us,” Wolf said, his eyes glinting like the twin edges of a sharpened knife. “Stop pressing it.”

“No, Charlie, and do you know why?” he asked. “Because I stopped pressing the issue with you, and look what happened. You went on date after date with these obvious harpies of women for years, and then took advantage of you and left you in the dust every time. I held my tongue for decades, and I’m sick of it. Especially since Bess is facing those same challenges, and she doesn’t deserve it either.”

“Of course she doesn’t,” he conceded. He couldn’t argue with that.

“Then go down there and be with her, Charlie!” he said. “You want to go, don’t you?”

Wolf looked away guiltily. His affection for Bess had been something he had pushed down for too many months to count. There were challenges, he’d always say, specifically regarding their age gap. She was a young and radiant woman, full of life and energy.

She deserved some young, handsome, lucky young man that could sweep her off her feet and give her all the romantic dreams she desired. She deserved to be courted with flowers and outings by a man who knew she loved roses and browsing local markets. A man who would indulge her love of thrifting and antiques. A man who would make her lunches on busy days at the hospital. A man who would have the courage to propose to her with the perfect engagement ring.

She deserved a man who would want a big family, and to move to the countryside with her for a quiet life with all the animals and pets she desired.

He knew all her romantic dreams and realized with a pang in his chest that he also might be the only man in the world that she had trusted them to.

“You know, it’s a wild concept, but if a girl makes you sight wistfully every time you think of her … you’re supposed to ask her out,” Adonis interjected. “Woo her, yes? You’re familiar with the concept?”

Returning to reality, Wolf flashed his brother another icy glare. “Sammy, if I were 20, 15, even 10 years younger, I would. But, you know as well as I do, youth is no longer on my side while Bess is brimming with it. She doesn't want an old duffer like me. She deserves someone closer to her age. An old, washed-up man like me is not the future a woman like her deserves.”

“Charlie, all these men Bess has been dating and given up on? They were all close to her age.” Adonis reminded him. “The man who walked away from her today looked to be in his thirties, and all the dates prior? Also, in their twenties and thirties. Age doesn’t seem to be a key factor here, Charlie.

“All the young men I've seen give her attention, she doesn't look at ANY of them the same way she looks at you!”

That sentiment gave Wolf pause, his eyes widening in genuine surprise for the first time during that discussion.

“These men,” Wolf started slowly, “She … really doesn’t seem interested? At all?”

“It’s like night and day,” Ebenezer huffed, leaning bag in the chair and crossing one long leg over the other. “These men, they act like boys. Ruffians, even! They’re crude and handsy, or completely ice her out when she tells them that she’s not interested in going straight to bed with them!”

The idea of some brutish stag trying to coax Bess into sleeping with him filled Ebenezar with a potent sense of disgust.

All the while, his brother continued, “She kicks them to the curb, as she should, but … she looks so bloody defeated each time. Like she feels like it her fault.”

“Feels like it’s her fault? H-How could…?”

“Bess is an amazing woman. You know that. She’s witty, charming, strong and incredibly beautiful. But she’s also sensitive. Caring. She constantly puts the needs of other people above her own, and she’s humble to a fault.”

Wolf smiled sadly, yet fondly. That was all true, he knew.

“She’s a whole, complex person, not an amusing, shiny trinket. None of these boys can appreciate her. None of them pull out her chair, make her laugh, roll their eyes at her puns, or even hold her hand. None except you.”

Wolf closed his eyes against the final statement, as if he anticipated the blow it would deal to his heart. None of the pain was cushioned.

In a flash, he bolted up from his chair and went to the office window. He peered out and looked down onto the street below, spotting the rink instantly even amidst the darkness and snowfall.

He spotted her instantly, standing alone amidst the other skaters. Her raven hair, her creamy skin, her effortless grace as she stood there on her skates in a sea of pearly white frost.

“…Stop getting my hopes up, alright?” he repeated, his breath fogging the glass from how close he was to the pane. “If she happens to have a … small flight of fancy for me, I’m sure it will pass when she finds a suitor more like her. Bess still has her whole life ahead of her, and I won’t ruin it by interjecting myself into her story.”

“Age isn’t the issue here, Charlie, it’s your stubbornness and self-sabotaging streak. You fancy her too. That’s why you seek her out. Do you really want your stubbornness to rob you of a chance at happiness?"

His fingers gripped the sill until his knuckles turned white.

"Charlie, Bess is different. The way she acts with you … it’s different from the others. She could be the one. You could be each other’s—”

“Even if she’s the one for me, I can’t be the one for her. I care more for Bess’ happiness than I ever could my own.”

“But do you care more for her happiness than your stubborn pride and need to be right?” Adonis asked. “Because the fact is, Charlie, in theory she could have any eligible man in the world, and that includes YOU. And what if YOU'RE the one who can make her happy? What if you're the key factor of her happiness?"

“…It can’t be me.”

“Why not?”

Because it's too good to be true. “It just can’t.”

“Okay, well, I used to think the same thing, and I was wrong. Bloody wrong, and Charlie, it felt amazing to be wrong about being unlovable.”

His brother’s targeted word pinned his body, and mind, to stillness. “... You actually think Bess could... love me?”

“Think it? I believe with every fiber of my being that she could love you. In fact, I believe she does. Deeply. A woman doesn't just learn how to make a man's favorite lunch the exact way he likes and bring it to him at his office if she's just a friend, Charlie. No matter how good of a friend she is. She doesn’t stay day and night with you when you're sick as a dog with the bronchitis taking care of you, risking her own health all the while, if she's just a friend.”

He remembered that. His memories were hazy from the fever, but he’d remember her gentle touch anywhere.

“Charlie, that girl is in love with you. Madly. And she’s right down there, waiting for someone. It should be you.”

Ebenezar continued to stare down at her, unable to look away. Was it really possible, in some wonderful twist of fate that his happiness and the happiness of someone he cared for so much could actually be intertwined?

He didn’t spare the time to think. Without even turning his computer off, he strutted out of his office and to the coat rack near the front door. He practically sent the pole to the floor as he ripped the coat off and threw it on, walking forward all the while.

He only stopped briefly at the stairwell to check that he had his wallet. Once he felt its outline, he pressed on.

After all, he’d need it for the skate rental.

Standing so still was starting to make her cold. Even her thick socks and tights couldn’t keep the chill out for much longer.

Bess glanced around again, checking to see if Adonis was on his way back to her. She couldn’t quite remember why he’d made such a swift exit. Admittedly, she’d been distracted at the time, but she wondered what could have pulled him away from not just her, but also Connie.

“Maybe I should go back to her,” she muttered to herself. “Keep her company, at least until Adonis comes back.”

Then, she could make her own graceful exit from the whole night. She could leave the happy couple to the remainder of date, sparing them any further awkwardness, while she called a cab and went back to the cottage. She could uncork a bottle of wine and soak in a bath. That sounded nice.

After checking the traffic around her, she pushed off the railing and skated into an opening between the other skaters. She sailed down with her head down, keeping pace with the others, her eyes upon the ice as cold air tossed her curls pleasantly.

Her posture did not allow her to see a familiar silhouette follow her onto the ice, then quickly catch up to her because of his long legs. It was only when she saw an unfamiliar shadow approaching that she looked up. Thinking she had accidentally drifted off course and into another skater, she was ready to apologize. Yet the words froze upon her lips like the snowflakes themselves when she felt the stranger slip their hand into hers.

Even in its leather glove, she knew that hand anywhere.

Wolf smiled as their eyes met, and he pulled her from the path of the other skaters and into the center of the rink. There, he led her into a playful spin, twin fingers twined as he lifted his arm and watched her pirouette slowly.

When she resumed her normal stance, she was breathless. And delighted.

“Wolf!” she cried, her smile wide and eyes alit with surprise. “H-How did …”

“I was working upstairs and saw you on the ice,” he said, almost sounding sheepish despite his easy smile. “I … don’t know if you’re still interested in skating. I know it’s getting quite late and chilly out, but—”

“I’d love to,” Bess interjected. She almost cursed her own eagerness, but his own matching grin wiped any doubt from her mind. “I didn’t know you could ice skate.”

“I’m only average,” he said, “Not nearly as skilled as you. It was quite tricky to reach you, you know.”

He chuckled and winked at her as they moved. Hands still clasped, he led the way, skating backwards while she did another playful spin. With their bodies coming together like two dancers in a ballroom, they waltzed upon the ice, their legs moving in perfect tandem. All the while, they talked easily.

“See? You are quite magnificent,” he said, pleased.

“Says the man who can skate backwards,” she noted, arching a brow at him suspiciously. “’Only average’ my butt, good sir.”

“Haha, I can be humble, I suppose.”

“Too humble for your own good, more like it.” She punctuated the sentence with a smirk, and she swore his cheeks turned a shade pinker. Perhaps it was just the cold.

As they danced, Bess chanced a glance over to the bench where she thought Connie might be seated. Her desire to check on her friend was still present, after all. Sure enough, she was there, but Adonis was now by her side. She couldn’t make out the words being exchanged, but Constance looked delighted.

She saw her jump up and pull Adonis into a tight embrace. The poor man had to grab the back of the bench in order to not fall over, but judging from the resonant laughter he let out, he didn’t mind the snafu.

By the time she pulled him into a deep kiss, she reckoned he’d forgotten all about it.

Glancing up at Wolf, she saw he was watching the couple as well. When they kissed, he rolled his eyes and refocused on her, shaking his head slightly.

“Ohhh, don’t be like that, they’re quite the pair,” Bess said. “Your brother is very sweet, by the way.”

“He has his moments,” Wolf admitted with a light laugh. “Do not tell him so. His head is already too full. He’ll start giving you brotherly advice.”

“Aw, come now. Would that be so bad?”

He hummed in thought and leaned in to push a loose curse away from her lovely eyes.

“…Well, I suppose not,” he relented easily.

She stared up at him inquisitively, curious about his sudden tone change. Her gaze held him captive, and hand lingered on her cheek a bit longer than needed. For that moment, the world stilled, and she felt happiness.

Immense happiness. With him.

“No matter,” he said, smiling down at her as he led her into another spirited twirl. “All’s well that ends well, as they say.”

As she stared up at his inspiring blue eyes, for the first time in a long time … she felt like perhaps that phrase could be true.

I had way, WAY too much fun writing this! thank you so much for the suggestion @quill-pen. Adonis is already accumulating hours at the "good brother-in-law" factory, haha. <3

#scrooge 2022 #scrooge x oc #oc constance dogoode #scrooge netflix #scroogeverse #scrooge a christmas carol #oc bess sullivan #ebenezar “wolf” scrooge #ebenezer “adonis” scrooge

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aesethewitch · 1 year ago

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Beef Stew Recipe - Potion of Fortitude

Whether it's been an exhausting week, a frigid winter's day, or just a stressful time, few things are more comforting than a hearty bowl of stew. I make this beef stew for myself whenever I need a true pick-me-up or when I'm preparing for an in-depth magical working. It provides lasting energy, warmth, and strength.

Plus, this recipe is scalable - make a ton and freeze it to enjoy for weeks or just make a little bit for one meal. The measurements below are approximate; measure with your heart.

Ingredients:

Chuck roast, cut to half-inch cubes (you can get pre-chunked stew meat, which is what I typically get)

Flour, enough to coat the beef

Salt and Pepper (about 1 tsp salt & 1/2 tsp pepper), for seasoning the beef coating

2 tablespoons Unsalted Butter

1 Onion, diced

2 Large Potatoes, peeled and cut into half-inch to one-inch cubes

2 Carrots, peeled and cut into rounds

5-6 Cloves of Garlic, finely diced

4 cups Beef Broth

Herbs of your choice, such as: Sage, Thyme, Marjoram, Celery Seed, Bay, Chili Flakes

Additional veggies of your choice, such as: Parsnips, Turnips, Bok Choy

Salt and Pepper to taste

Instructions:

Mix together your flour, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Toss the beef chunks in the mixture to coat. This will create a nice brown crispiness on the outside.

In your stew pot, sauté your flour-coated beef until browned on all sides. Remove from the pot and set aside.

Add more oil to your pot and cook your onion until translucent. If you don't mind soft carrots in your stew, add them now and cook until just starting to soften and brown. (Note: I often leave the carrots until after the potatoes are nearly cooked through because I don't like the texture of fully-cooked carrots.)

Once your onions are translucent and your carrots have started to soften/brown, toss in your butter and scrape the bottom of the pot. You want to get all those beautiful, delicious brown bits back into the mixture. You can add a little water if you need help loosening the bits.

Add your garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

Put your beef back into the pot (along with any drippings from the plate/bowl you placed it in). Pour your broth over everything and give it all a good stir.

Toss your potatoes into the pot. Bring it all to a boil and reduce your heat to let it simmer.

Add your herbs and spices. I recommend salt, pepper, sage, thyme, celery seed (or salt), and bay. If you like it spicy, you can throw in a bit of chili powder or flakes.

Simmer for at least one hour or until your potatoes are soft and your beef becomes tender, stirring occasionally.

If your stew isn't thick enough by the time your potatoes are done, you can make a cornstarch slurry by combining one tablespoon of cornstarch with two tablespoons of water. Pour the slurry into the stew and let it cook until thickened to your desired consistency.

Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Serve with crusty bread, veggie side dishes, or whatever else you like.

Optional magic you can include:

As mentioned above, I often use this recipe to bolster or replenish my energy before or after an intense magical working. It also works for physical exertions - I made this for a group of my partner's friends while they were moving heavy furniture to a new apartment, and it gave them all the energy to move everything in one night!

This stew has an intense comforting effect. If someone I know has been working hard, stressing out, or hasn't been feeding themselves properly, I'll make this for them to help them remember to take care of themselves. It's rejuvenating, hearty, and full of love.

Depending on the herbs you choose to include, this could also be a powerful protection spell. Especially in the cold months, I use this as a protective ward against the cold exhaustion that pulls at the body and mind.

Pop a bit of chili in this spell to both speed up its effects and cast out negativity! Nothing clears the sinuses like a nose full of spice, and nothing clears the body of bad vibes like a good dose of chili flake.

Like many of my spell recipes, this one is most effective when it's shared. Give a bowl to your friends, your family, your neighbors, whoever. It makes a wonderful offering to house spirits or ancestors.

If you make this recipe, please let me know your thoughts! And if you enjoy this or my other posts, please consider dropping a couple dollars in my Ko-Fi tip jar!

Happy cooking, witches! 🍲

#recipes #food #spells #kitchen witch #hearth witch #witchblr #witchcraft #witch #home witchcraft #healing food #soup #stew #beef stew #food spells #my spells #my recipes #aese speaks

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evolutionsvoid · 15 days ago

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After a long day of preparing the fields, working the mines or fighting in a war that seemingly has no end, nothing sounds better than a good meal! All that labor really gets the appetite going, and hot food on a full table would be a blessed sight to any soul! And now with a war going on and supply lines disrupted, food has become more important than ever before! So lets see what's on the menu:

1. Hair Bulbs - Collected from hair fields or hair farms, pulled straight from the ground! These fleshy pods are at the end of harvested strands, and removal of them is necessary to use the keratin stalk. These bulbs are oily and meaty, often roasted either whole or in slices. They can also be squeezed for sebum oil, which can be used for cooking, lubrication or protective coatings.

2. Chitin Flour - A staple in baking, this substance is made from the pulverized exoskeletons of arthropods. As long as the shells contain chitin, any insect will do. Most of the time, chitin flour is made from all the leftover pieces of a hunted arthropod, as a way to use every piece of a kill. The flour you find in most villages is made up of an assortment of different species all ground up and mixed together. The finer stuff you find in high end bakeries are made from one species only and from specific parts, as food snobs claim that combining multiple sources into one muddles the flavor and makes poor quality flour. To be fair, using one species tends to preserve their exoskeleton color in the powder, while mixing usually results in the same drab brown.

3. Kumis - The star of any bar or tavern, kumis is an alcohol made from milk. A popular drink for any, its flavor is dependent on its source, as kumis can be made from any creature that lactates. While milk from beasts is often the common and cheaper option, many say that human breast milk makes the finest kumis. The demand and love for both milk and kumis is what led to the creation of milk maids, those who have trained their bodies to make copious amounts of the stuff. Popular bars typically have known milk maids under their employ, and pride themselves on having the pure stuff. In some cities with a vibrant nightlife, there are famous milk maids in some establishments whose product is widely sought after by fans and kumis connoisseurs, as they specially monitor their diet and lifestyle to produce their iconic flavor.

4. Louse Egg Kebab - A common food in villages that are near hair fields. The eggs of the Field Louse is harvested by taking the whole strand, as the secretions used to glue them to the keratin is too obnoxious to deal with. While trimming the hair can release the eggs, most folk go the simple route of stiffening the strand and then cooking it over a fire. The eggs are then eaten straight off the stalk, and the rest is discarded. A favorite for travelers passing through hair fields.

5. Eye Stalk - A fleshy growth that produces eye-like fruit. These are either eaten as is, or cooked into eye jelly. Belief is that they help improve eyesight, though some folk dismiss that due to their lack of Tears. Since Tears are an unofficial humor of the eye organa, folk would imagine that anything truly eye affecting would be tied to the chilling fluid. Regardless, the fruit is still pretty tasty, and the jelly is a popular spread for breads.

6. Clot Cakes - A baked treat that is made from copious amounts of clotted blood. Typically made by mixing clots and chitin flour, it is a dense loaf with a sharp flavor. Its heaviness and ability to survive travel well makes it a good ration for those on the move. "Clot Cake" is also a derogatory term for the Crour.

7. Bile Salt - Made from specially dried Yellow Bile, this substance of cleansing and purification can also be used for cooking. Its addition to a dish adds a pleasant pop and burn. It is a favored seasoning for travelers and nomads, as it serves as both a flavor enhancer and disinfectant for wounds. If used on an animal bite, you are sure to get the common quip of: "oh, did they complain to the chef?"

8. Black Crust Oven - A crude cooking technique that involves molding thick Black Bile clay around a piece of meat. This giant wad is then cooked directly in a fire, where the clay hardens and the flesh is roasted. When done, the solid chunk is fished out and cracked open. The meat inside is infused with Black Bile as well as a thin dark crust. Is said to give it a nice earthy flavor. A meal for the busy man, it can be chucked into the fire and left to cook as they work elsewhere. And then when you get back, a hot meal is waiting for you!

9. Termites - A food either collected from the wild or harvested from termite farms, these are the go-to whenever one needs a boost of Black Bile in their system. The majority eaten are workers and soldiers, as their dry roasted bodies are either enjoyed as is for a snack or sprinkled onto a dish for crunch. Queens are a rare treat, as harvesting them deals a hefty blow to a colony. When a Queen is served as a dish, it is a meal to be shared and for showing off. Their flesh is said to boost mental capacity, and it is an iconic dish at scholarly banquets.

10. Chewing Fat - Strips of fat taken from a beast that are often considered too poor for eating. Rather than cooking them into tallow, one may take these thin layers and chew on them. While by no means a meal or even a substantial snack, it is an enjoyed sensation of gnawing on these chewy strips. They can be dusted or infused with different flavors, and are a fun treat for kids. In war times, this enjoyable gimmick has taken a more grim purpose. Due to issues with food supply, hunger is rampant in the war torn regions, and these strips of fat taken from the rare kill are used to help curb these pains. It is believed chewing helps fool the body into thinking it is eating, and the act of doing so makes the stomach growl less.

11. Clot Shot - A drink made of fermented venom and a dose of blood that has congealed into a clot. The venom and crimson patty are downed in one go. A favored shot for warriors and hardened folk, who feel that the burning venom and meaty burst of Blood helps invigorate them and get them into the fighting spirit. Some folk cut up the inside of their mouth so that the fermented venom can seep inside, allowing the effect to be even stronger. Be warned, as getting too much of a dose can knock you out cold, which is the opposite of what you want when going into battle.

12. Finger Fungus - An edible fungus found growing in damp dark places, often crevices or buried under leaf litter. Their growths give the impressions of hands reaching up, and horror stories tell of ones that can drag you down into the earth. However, they are just a simple fungus that is used in a variety of dishes, with folk normally cutting off the fingers and leaving the rest so it can regrow.

13. Scab Crackers - A thin crisp baked food that is made from pulverized flesh and fluids that has been dried. These crackers have very low nutritional value, as they are often made from the worst quality supplies. However, they can last a very long time and they help fill the stomach, thus they have become infamous rations for many travelers and soldiers. Though they get the job done, these crackers are always met with groans whenever they are the sole star on the day's menu.

14. Oliphant Gizzard - A prized cut from hunted oliphants, these organs are how they grind up solid food that they have inhaled. This tough piece of meat requires lots of marinating and cooking to help breakdown its chewy nature. Despite the amount of work needed to prepare it, it is considered a delicacy. Eating it is said to help with memory, with some famed dishes claimed to allow one to remember snippets of a past life. As one always knows: Oliphants never forget.

15. Madman's Tongue - The fleshy appendage taken off of an Arimakki Hara, the reason why anyone would want it is a mystery. Arimakki flesh is tainted with Feverish Sweat and considered inedible. However, there is a way to "cook" it so that consuming it doesn't destroy your body. Due to the intense sickly heat their form produces, Arimakki meat must be "cooked with cold," immersing it in a pot of chilled icy water. This tongue has been freeze cooked with Tears and skewered. Eating it causes intense hallucinations that can last for hours. Some claim it is the gateway drug to joining the Arimakki, as eating too many of them can make you start thinking like them. For obvious reasons, consuming Arimakki flesh is strictly forbidden by the Church.

16. Blood Meal - A simple powder made from dried Blood, used as a spice or added into meals to help with one's Blood levels. Where this crimson dust really shines is for vampires, who find it vital for a Blood fix on the go. Pouring this into water is their version of a quick crude meal, and it is far easier to carry around than the humor. If you ever see anyone eating this powder as is by the handful, then you know they got a Blood problem.

17. Gourd Maggot - A larval bug that buries itself in the soil and absorbs nutrients from its surroundings. Targets more fleshy regions, where it can get more meatier soil. Pulling them out is incredibly difficult due to their swollen bodies and backward facing barbs. Most folk dig them out so that they can be cooked up and eaten, but some people with something to prove insist on yanking them out by hand. Typically done to show off, as there is literally nothing to gain by this outside of letting others see your strength. And often it winds up with people seeing you fail, as they are, indeed, very hard to remove by hand.

18. Clogged Popper - An appetizer made from a sheet of skin that has been stuffed with meat, veggies and fat then bundled. Cooked up til they are bloated and sizzling, then popped into the mouth for a wonderful flavor explosion. Very juicy, have a nice burst to them and the varieties are endless. Some like to categorize them by the use of white meat or dark meat.

19. Vein Eel - A boneless creature that slithers through ancient veins and underground fluids. Fished up to be cooked and enjoyed. What fluid it has been immersed in recently affects the flavor and quality, thus folk get picky on where they are harvested. Be wary of its bite though, as it has sharp teeth and an incredible grip.

20. Phallus Clam - A bivalve that is frequently harvested, deshelled and eaten. Due to bivalves being associated with Milk and their appearance similar to genitalia, species like these are said to be aphrodisiacs and help with fertility. For males, the size of the clam is said to determine its potency, with the notion of bigger is better. Thus, they have been over harvested by eager lovers and local populations are pretty much wiped out. What remains are more aggressive and dangerous species, making the collection of these popular dishes far more difficult.

21. Leaky Spleen Mushroom - A dripping fungus famed for its spleen-like appearance and secretions. This black liquid is compared to Black Bile, and is said to share similar properties. This inky goo is collected and used as a cooking ingredient or spread, while the fungus itself is a fine substitution for offal. Mushrooms like this are why Black Bile is often associated with fungi, even more so with the fact that termites enjoy fungus as well.

22. Adipose Fin - A large blobby fish known for its gelatinous meat, as it is equated to fat. With the other name of "fatfish," they are harvested for "sea tallow," or to be processed into flammable fuels. Due to the fatty nature of their flesh and the fact that they are bottom feeders, eating them as is is not typical. Children get a whole lot of fun from poking and slapping this wobbly fish before it is prepared. Best step in before they start throwing it at each other.

23. Brain Curry - A popular dish, served with any kind of brain, be it beast or even man. Claimed to be a soothing dish, particularly for those with restless or aching minds. Human brain curry is incredibly rare and often frowned upon, but the rich and superstitious believe this to be the most potent of them all. Some folk have even targeted high up Philosophers to get their incredible brains for a forbidden meal.

24. Ambrosia - Referred to as “Food of the Gods,” it is a rare holy food made with Ichor. Due to the toxic strength of the Godly Fluid, it is used in small, carefully measured amounts. Consuming it is said to cleanse the body of all sins and aid in restoring balance in the body’s humors. Those who eat it feel a rush of strength and energy, making one feel like a god. However the process to make it is incredibly complicated and the amount of Ichor used is extremely precise. Too little makes its effects nonexistent, but too much can outright kill the consumer. Saved only for high ranking members of the church or for wealthy “donors.” Rumor claims that the highest members of the church eat nothing but Ambrosia, which would explain their long lives.

25. Stuffed Snails - A dish for any fellow looking to replenish their Phlegm levels, snails are considered the food for wise men. Seasoned and stuffed, then served with a fine buttery sauce, you would have to search far and wide to find someone who doesn't enjoy this meal! Usually made with smaller species of snail, as they are easier to raise in larger numbers. Bigger specimens make for quite the feast, but this dining experience often does away with the etiquette and fine utensils that comes with regular stuffed snails. Some folk get too enamored with the delicious bounty before them and practically crawl into the shell itself to devour its contents.

26. Jellyfish Noodles - The tentacles of a jellyfish harvested and cut into fine noodles, a popular dish for users of Yellow Bile. Though they possess a slight burn, the noodles themselves lack a strong flavor, and thus make them good in a variety of dishes. Some folk skip the noodle step of jellyfish prep and stuff their bell with meats and seasonings. Fans of jellyfish dishes demand a stronger burn, as they develop a tolerance over time. One should be wary of what species is used in their meal, as some recipes make for a dish that could scar if you are not ready for its bite.

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I know this kind of stuff isn't what folk are really interested in, and it isn't that exciting of a piece, but I thought it was fun to think of food and what people would eat in this world. It's also a part of me trying to express the fact that people live in this place, and outside of the war and horrors, this is still a world that has a civilization and folk living their lives.

#art #drawing #food #fall of ichor #blood #fish #bug #insect #worm #fungus

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najia-cooks · 1 year ago

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[ID: Two triangles of baklava garnished with ground pistachio and whole cloves, with a silver Moroccan tea set in the background. End ID]

μπακλαβάς / Baklava

Baklava is a layered pastry consisting of a filling of chopped nuts piled between thin sheets of dough and sweetened with syrup. It is of contested and potentially ancient origin, with similar pastries attested in modern-day Turkey, Greece, and Assyria. Today, many regional variations of the pastry exist throughout North Africa and West and Central Asia.

This Greek-style recipe layers a spiced walnut filling between sheets of homemade filo dough, then soaks them in a sugar-honey syrup flavored with cinnamon, clove, and lemon. The resulting pastry is flaky, flavorful, and über-sweet.

Recipe under the cut!

Patreon | Tip jar

Ingredients:

For the dough:

4 2/3 cup (560g) bread flour

1/2 cup + 1 Tbsp (133mL) olive oil

1 Tbsp + 2 tsp red wine vinegar

About 1 - 1 1/3 cup (240 - 320g) lukewarm water

3/4 cup (165g) butter or non-dairy margarine, melted, for brushing

For the filling:

400g walnuts (or hazelnuts, shelled pistachios, and/or blanched almonds)

1/4 cup (35g) breadcrumbs

1 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon (1/2 cassia cinnamon stick)

1 1/2 tsp ground cloves (18 / 1.5g whole cloves)

Greek baklava most commonly uses walnuts, though pistachios are also used. You may experiment with nuts of your choice.

The breadcrumbs help to soak up the syrup evenly and prevent sogginess.

For the syrup:

2 1/2 cups (500g) vegetarian granulated sugar

1 1/2 cups (355mL) water

1/4 cup (80g) agave nectar or honey

1 tsp orange blossom water (optional)

Peel of one lemon

1 cassia cinnamon stick

3 whole cloves

Instructions:

For the dough:

1. Combine flour and salt in a large mixing bowl. Add the vinegar and olive oil and mix to combine.

2. Gradually add a scant cup of water and continue to mix until the dough just comes together. Continue to knead, by hand or with a stand mixer and dough hook attachment, until the dough becomes smooth and elastic, about five minutes. If the dough does not come together, add additional water 1 tsp at a time. The dough should not be sticky.

3. Divide the dough into small balls of about 40g each (for a 13" x 9" pan). You may decide to make the dough balls slightly larger if you’re a beginner at working with thin dough.

4. Coat each dough ball with some olive oil and cover. Allow to rest for at least an hour, to allow gluten to form and facilitate rolling out later.

For the syrup:

1. Scrub a lemon thoroughly and remove the outer layer of peel with a knife or vegetable peeler. Heat sugar, water, lemon peel, cinnamon, and cloves in a large pot over medium heat until simmering. Stir to dissolve sugar and continue to simmer for about 5 minutes.

2. Remove from heat and stir in honey and orange blossom water. Allow to cool to room temperature, then refrigerate.

For the filling:

1. Blanch almonds by boiling them for about a minute, draining, and pinching gently to remove their skins. Shell pistachios. Chop nuts, or use a food processor, to achieve a coarse grind (you don't want a powder!).

2. Toast and grind whole spices, if using. Combine nuts with breadcrumbs and spices in a mixing bowl and set aside.

To assemble:

Baklava is made by interspersing thin sheets of dough with butter and nut filling to create flaky layers. Several sheets of dough will be needed at the top and bottom to prevent the weight of the nuts from causing the pastry to collapse. Some cooks add all of the nut filling between two groups of filo dough, while others intersperse the nuts throughout.

1. Melt margarine in a small saucepan or in the microwave. Using a pastry brush, coat the bottom and sides of a 9 x 13" baking dish in margarine.

2. On a lightly oiled surface, roll out one ball of dough into a rectangle a little larger than the bottom of your baking dish (it will relax as it transferred). Place the sheet in the bottom of the dish, gently stretching it into the corners. Don't worry too much about small holes—there will be many layers!

3. Gently drizzle and brush melted margarine over the sheet of dough.

4. Repeat this process 4 more times, for a total of 5 sheets interspersed with margarine. I placed each sheet on top of the previous one on the counter and waited to transfer them to the pan until I had rolled out all four. You may need to re-oil your working surface as you go.

5. Add just enough nut filling mixture to form a thin layer.

6. Roll out another two sheets of dough and brush them with margarine as before. Add another layer of nuts. Repeat until the nut mixture is gone, making sure to reserve at least five balls of dough for the top.

7. Roll out and place the remaining balls of dough and brush them with margarine as before.

8. Refrigerate for 10-15 minutes to make the baklava easier to cut. Using a sharp knife, cut the baklava into diamonds by cutting in lines diagonally in one direction, and then diagonally in another direction to form points at an acute angle; or, form triangles by cutting lengthwise and then widthwise to form squares, and then diagonally to cut those squares in half. Stick a whole clove in the center of each piece of baklava, if you like.

9. Bake at 300 °F (150 °C) for an hour to an hour and a half, until the top of the pastry is golden brown.

10. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for about 10 minutes. Pour the cooled syrup evenly over the surface of the baklava. Don't add the syrup warm, or it may make the baklava soggy!

11. Allow the syrup to absorb for several hours, or overnight.

#baking #baklava #Greek #walnuts #pistachios #almonds #breadcrumbs #bread flour

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exhausted-archivist · 5 months ago

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Complete Post of the Poisons of Thedas

Updated: June 2024

I have the time and the energy (as in I've had this info sitting in one of my various spreadsheets) so let's get into the poisons of Thedas. I've also split this apart from a much shorter version so if you want a TLDR, please see this post.

For the purpose of this list I'm including any weapon coatings as they can be multiuse. Additionally, Inquisition has "tonics" which include poisons, potions, and actual tonics; so things described as poison are listed there. As well as anything mentioned in Tevinter Nights short story "Eight Little Talons" that is connected to Viago as he is a poison master, he makes and keeps poisons and various toxins, or other caustic substances. I've also included bombs, grenades, and traps as they use the same poisonous ingredients and sometimes share similar effects.

The definition of a poison that I am using is: "A substance that causes injury, illness, or death, especially by chemical means. Or a substance that inhibits another substance or a reaction."

Known Coatings and Poisons

Brief note, there are some general mentioned poisons not listed here, such as "contact poison" which is far too general for me to feel like I could add it here. Things like this, and other notations of poisons I will list at the bottom under additional info/trivia.

Acidic coating

Adder's kiss

Aquae Lucidius

Arcane poison

Choke powder/Choking powder

Crow Poison (regular and concentrated)

Crow venom

Deathroot Extract (regular and concentrated)

Deathroot Toxin

Debilitating poison

Deepstalker spit and aqua regia mixture

Demonic poison (regular and concentrated)

Dispel coating

Elemental coating

Exotic dwarven poison

Fell poison

Flame coating

Fleshrot

Freezing coating

Hale's Dust

Havard's Grief

Knockout Powder

Maferath's Embrace

Magebane (regular and concentrated)

Marrow lock

Odorless Crow Poison

Pillow Talk

Qamek

Quiet Death

Saar-Qamek

Shock coating

Soldier's bane (regular and concentrated)

Soulrot coating

Spider venom (regular and concentrated)

Tears if the Dead

Venom (regular and concentrated)

Vitaar

Wyvern venom

Known Bombs, Grenades, and Traps

Acid Flask

Acidic Trap

Acidic Grease Trap

Antivan Fire

Choking Powder Trap (Mild)

Choking Powder Trap

Choking Powder Cloud Trap

Combustion Grenade

Confusion Grenade

Fell Grenade

Fire Bomb

Fire Trap

Freeze Bomb

Freeze Trap

Jar of Bees

Misdirection Cloud Trap

Pitch Grenade

Poisoned Caltrop Trap

Shock Bomb

Shock Trap

Sleeping Gas Trap (Mild)

Sleeping Gas Trap

Sleeping Gas Cloud Trap

Soulrot Trap

Tar Bomb

Ingredients That are Poisonous or Used to Create Bombs, Grenades, and Poisons

Adder Venom

Aqua regia

Black Lichen

Blight

Blood Lotus

Bulbs of the Frostback Mountains

Concentrator Agent

Corpse Heart Ichor

Corruptor Agent

Deathroot

Deep Mushroom varieties

Deepstalker Spit

Demonic Ichor

Distillation Agent

Dragon Venom

Felandaris

Fire Crystal

Firedust

Foxite

Frostrock

Frozen Lightning

Gaatlock

Ghoul's Beard

Glitterdust

Heatherum

Lifestone

Lyrium

Lyrium Dust

Madcap Bulb

Rashvine

Rashvine Nettle

Redmoss

Snake Venom

Spider Venom

Toxin Extract

Vasanthum tree

Varghest Blood

Wyvern Venom

Descriptions of Crafting Ingredients

The only discriptions included are those provided in game or text.

Adder Venom

A snake native to Antiva, known for its quick acting and deadly poison. It has a paralyzing component and works to shut down the heart and lungs of the victim. There is an antidote, created by Viago known as "Up and Adder".

Aqua regia

Not defined, but presumably another highly caustic alcohol made of wyvern venom like aquae lucidius or lyrium like aqua magus.

Black Lichen

Mentioned in the Official Dragon Age Cookbook: Tastes of Thedas, this is a lichen used to make bread and can be toxic if not cooked before consumed.

Blood Lotus

Awakening Description: This flower is famous for surviving in almost any climate. DAI Codex: Do not try to get out of this. We were told you were the best. That is why you were contracted. Was it not you who obtained the two hundred white blooming rose bushes for the Empress's winter ball last year? The comtesse has been infinitely patient 'til now, but she doesn't understand why it is so hard to fill the garden pool. She wants no more excuses. And no, she will not compromise with the dawn lotuses. They're white! The flowers have to match the silk canopies. It is crucial! Dark purple. Dark red. Do not try to frame this as a safety issue. The guests will be perfectly safe. Why, if they experience any hallucinations from the concentration of lotus essence in the air, I'm certain it will only make the evening more thrilling. I don't care if you have to send someone to some Fereldan peat bog to get it all. Just do it! —A note from Chamberlain Laurent to Grand Gardener Umbert Vauclain, over the decorations for Comtesse d'Arnee's summer garden party According to gossip in Val Royeaux, the chamberlain did succeed in convincing Grand Gardener Vauclain to provide four hundred and twenty lotus plants. The party was considered by most to be a roaring success, even though the evening concluded with at least twelve guests asleep on the lawn, three in the pool, and one lady losing several teeth trying to take a bite out of a marble statue of the comtesse's father, which she was convinced was made of cake.

Concentrator Agent

DAO Description: Heatherum and Foxite are both common herbs in Ferelden. When distilled to be sufficient purity, they may be used as herbal agents to concentrate the effects of many potions, salves, and poisons.

Corpse Heart Ichor

Used in concentrated demonic poison, this thick, black ichor comes from the heart of corpses that have been possessed by demons. Seperated from demonic ichor as that ingredient can come from other sources aside from a corpse heart.

Corrupter Agent

DAO Description: Said to have been made from lifestone that has been corrupted by the darkspawn taint in the Deep Roads, this powdery agent is required to create some of the most powerful poisons and traps known.

Deathroot

DAO Description: A harmless enough plant on its own, deathroot's thick leaves contain an extract that the Chasind have used to induce hallucinations for centuries. Sufficiently concentrated, it can be made into a deadly poison. DA2 / DAI Codex: Deathroot has been used in magic and potion making for centuries. It's a fragile-looking plant with a thin stalk and purple flowers, which fruits once a year developing bright red fleshy pods that cause disorientation and dizziness if ingested. There are two varieties. The more common Arcanist Deathroot was first found by Archon Hadrianus when he discovered it growing on several dead slaves. The other, Lunatic's Deathroot, is most closely associated with the story of the courtesan Melusine, who sought revenge on a powerful magister and his family. She harvested the plant, baked it into small pies for the magister's banquet, and presented them to the magister at a banquet. All the guests were seized by terrifying hallucinations after eating the pies and tore each other to pieces. —An excerpt from The Botanical Compendium, by Ines Arancia, botanist

Deep Mushroom

DAO Description: Fungi found underground in close proximity to lyrium veins. In addition to their restorative properties, they can also be made into poisons. DA2 / DAI Codex: "Deep mushroom" refers to the entire group of fungi that grows underground in caves and many parts of the dwarven Deep Roads. Collection can be a dangerous task, as the Deep Roads are often infested with darkspawn. Because of this, dwarven merchants often recruit "casteless" hirelings for the job, and pay them a meager percentage of what they earn selling the mushrooms to surfacers. The most common varieties used in the herbalist's trade are the Blightcap, Ghoul's Mushroom, and Brimstone Mushroom, almost all of which tend to carry the darkspawn's corruption. While they cannot transmit the disease, this trait often makes them quite poisonous. Deep mushrooms should only be handled by experienced herbalists and should never be consumed without first being adequately cleaned and prepared. Careless consumption has been known to cause insanity, severe abdominal cramping, and even death. —An excerpt from The Botanical Compendium, by Ines Arancia, botanist

Demonic Ichor

DAO Description: Understandably difficult to find, this ichor can sometimes be found in the hearts of corpses that have been possessed by demons and is naturally both thick and black. In the right hands in can be made into a very potent poison. Note: Can only be looted from darkspawn, usually alphas and emissaries.

Distillation Agent

DAO Description: One of the three rare bulbs found in the Frostback Mountains, when dried and powdered they become an excellent distillation agent required to evoke magical properties in crafting.

Dragon Venom

Mentioned to be an ingredient in gaatlok.

Felandaris

Used to craft poisons. DA2 / DAI Codex: The name felandaris is elven, meaning "demon weed," which is fitting for this rare plant because it grows only in places where the Veil is thin. Felandaris is easily identified. It's a twisted, wicked-looking shrub with long, thorny shoots, and no leaves: a skeletal hand, reaching out from an unmarked grave. Many swear the plant radiates a palpable aura of malevolence, so it comes as no surprise that it unnerves many a junior herbalist. —An excerpt from The Botanical Compendium by Ines Arancia, botanist

Fire Crystal

DAO Description: These shards of lifestone are infused with magic, either naturally or by one of the Tranquil. They're white-hot and useful in many fire-related potions and traps. DA: TTRPG Description: Fire crystals are lifestones that have been infused with agitated thermal energy, either naturally or by one of the Tranquil.

Frostrock

DAO Description: These shards of lifestone are infused with magic, either naturally or by one of the Tranquil. Frostrocks radiate cold and can be used in many cold-related potions and traps. DA: TTRPG Description: Frostrock is lifestone that has absorbed some of the cold of the Frostbacks, either naturally or through the efforts of the Tranquil.

Frozen Lightning

DAO Description: Frozen lightning is a common name for a crystal that can naturally store electricity, which has made it a sought-after ingredient in the composition of several items and salves. DA: TTRPG Description: These are crystals that store natural chemical energy, effectively making them electrical batteries.

Glitterdust

A mineral used to craft poisons and bombs

DA2 Codex: Glitterdust is the powdered form of a rock found along the Wounded Coast. When explorers brought the sparkling rock to the markets of the Free Marches, it became immediately popular among wealthy ladies who crushed it and applied the powder to their faces. The added brightness and lustre to the skin, however, soon paled in comparison to the developing rash and coughing fits. As it turned out, glitterdust is dangerous if ingested or inhaled. It's also extremely flammable, as several ladies discovered after powdering their hair while standing next to a candle. Unfortunately, this resulted in a dozen deaths by conflagration. These days, glitterdust is used sparingly, and only by experienced alchemists. The most common form of the substance is Volatile Glitterdust. If gathered from caves where darkspawn dwell, the rock produces a powder known as Tainted Glitterdust. —An excerpt from The Alchemist's Encyclopedia, by Lord Cerastes of Marnas Pell

Lifestone

DAO Description: These rare rocks have existed in close proximity to lyrium ore, and as such, they have absorbed some of its traits. Lifestones enhance the natural properties of other materials used in item creation. DA: TTRPG Description: Lifestones are chunks of rock that have lain in long proximity to lyrium ore and gained unusual properties from the exposure. They are invaluable for enchanting a wide variety of objects.

Lyrium Dust

DAO Description: This is lyrium found in a natural powdered state, ready to be incorporated into potions. DA: TTRPG Description: Lyrium found in a naturally powdered state, far easier to employ than lyrium ore.

Madcap Bulb

Awakening Description: Fereldan youths sometimes try eating madcap bulbs. They rarely repeat the experience.

Rashvine Nettle

Awakening Description: This plant burns the skin, but surprisingly not the tongue. It has no flavor whatsoever.

Spirit Shard

DAO Description: Spirit shards are enchanted lifestones that are used in several potions and poisons that affect the mind.

Toxin Extract

DAO Description: As one would expect, extracted venom from various creatures often makes potent poisons. Dropped by Giant Spiders Note: It is deemed a "venom" in the item id of the game

Descriptions of Poisons and Their Effects

I focused mainly on their descriptors provided in games and novels. I only include the gamified elements and effects for completeness of the entry as well as to elaborate on additional effects.

Acidic Coating

DAO Description: A small vial that contains a warm, lime-colored liquid.

Adder's Kiss

DAO, Awakening Description: An Antivan noble killed his adulterous wife by coating his lips with this poison and kissing her. He died as well. DA: TTRPG Description: Adder's kiss was the principal agent in the great Antivan tragedy Rosetta & Javier, supposedly a historical account of a nobleman who believes his wife has been having an affair. After a series of apparently innocent misunderstandings, Javier at last kisses his wife with lips coated with this poison, and neither survives.

Arcane Poison

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison weaken the ability to resist magical effects on any enemy they touch. Ingredients: Deathroot, Deep Mushroom, Glitterdust

Aquae Lucidius

DA: TTRPG Description: Its venom makes the wyvern widely sought by potion-makers, alchemists, and crafters of potent liquor called aquae lucidius. A miniscule quantity of wyvern venom remaining in the aquae after distillation results in a unique hallucinatory effect. Just how effective wyvern venom is at enhancing potions and alchemical recipes is either a closely guarded secret or a continuing mystery; opinions differ. Making a batch of aquae lucidius requires 1 dose of wyvern venom per 10 servings, plus additional brewing supplies such as water, sugars, herbs, and yeast (costing about 10 silvers for a 10-serving batch). Crafting any sized batch of aquae lucidius requires an advanced TN 15 Cunning (Brewing) test; each roll represents about an hour’s work. Those who drink a serving of the stuff must make a TN 13 Constitution (Drinking) test, the result of which determines the drinker’s general reaction to the brew. Increase the TN by 1 for each additional serving consumed after the first. Any character who fails the test passes out after 1d6 minutes of dizzying, ugly hallucinations that leave him rattled and uneasy (–1 to Cunning and Perception) for 1d6 hours. Characters who succeed react to the drink based on their Dragon Die result, compared to the table below. (No actual magic effects take place but drinkers may be difficult to convince of that.)

Choke Powder / Choking Powder

Both a type of poison and a class of poison. Fleshrot is an examole of a choke powder, other descriptors used for the traps are powdered rock, metal, or spices.

Crow Poison

DAO Description: This poison is a favorite of the Antivan Crows, whose efficient administration of death has built a nation's reputation. DA: TTRPG Description: The poison is mainly derived from the venom of a particularly deadly Antivan serpent

Concentrated Crow Poison

DAO Description: An enhanced version of the Crow original, this poison turns its victim into a veritable sitting duck for an efficient killer. DA: TTRPG Description: This wicked brew results from a long, complex distillation process. A character suffering its effects immediately moves to the end of the initiative order. Additionally, the victim must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina) test or cannot use any stunt costing more than 2sp from the remainder of the encounter.

Crow Venom

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison slow the movements of all whom they touch. Ingredient: Deathroot, Deep Mushroom

Deathroot Extract

DAO Description: Even a quick sniff of this sludge is enough to cause hallucinations. DA: TTRPG Description: Deathroot is a common and relatively harmless plant. The Chasind Wilders use a distillation made from its root bulbs to induce vivid hallucinations in which they seek mystic knowledge. When concentrated the substance can be used as a weapon. Those exposed to deathroot extract must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina or Drinking) test. Those who fail suffer hallucinations according to the Deathroot Hallucination table.

Concentrated Deathroot Extract

DAO Description: Although the deep blue-black color is attractive, clothing dyed with this liquid has proven unpopularly fatal to wear.

Deathroot Toxin

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison deal additional nature damage with each hit. Ingredients: Deathroot

Debilitating Poison

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison undermine the combat effectiveness of every enemy they hit, reducing the damage the foes inflict. Ingredient: Deep Mushroom

Deepstalker spit and aqua regia mixture

A caustic substance used by Viago to eat away at metal. It is highly potent.

Demonic Poison

DAO Description: The appearance and smell of this liquid are entirely unnatural, to say nothing of its effect.

Concentrated Demonic Poison

DAO Description: An extremely powerful poison derived from the thick, black ichor found in the hearts of corpses that have been possessed by demons.

Dispel coating

Awakening Description: This liquid in this flask reflects no light whatsoever.

Elemental coating

Awakening Description: A vial that contains a dark, viscous liquid.

Exotic Dwarven Poison

DAO Mentioned in Dwarven Regicide Antidote.

Fell poison

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison leech life from every enemy they hit, transferring it to the poisoner instead. Ingredients: Deathroot, Deep Mushroom, Felandaris

Flame coating

DAO Description: A flask containing a white-hot liquid.

Fleshrot

DAO Description: The nasty concoction somehow rots flesh while the victim is still alive, accompanied by the usual stench. DA: TTRPG Description: Nasty stuff, fleshrot causes a victim's skin to immediately begin to slough off, which is horribly painful and grossly noxious. Each round for 2d6 rounds, a victim must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina ) test at the beginning of their turn to overcome the pain. If they fail they can only take a minor action that turn. A –2 penalty to social tests where a disgusting appearance would be relevant persists for a number of days equal to the number of rounds the immediate effects persisted.

Freezing coating

DAO Description: A small vial with a thick, frosty liquid.

Hale's Dust

DA: TTRPG Description: Originally used by the eponymous healer to help subdue and quiet wounded or troubled soldiers who were too much for him to handle, others have since come up with more sinister uses. Its effects last for the duration of the encounter.

Havard's Grief

A poison derived from wyvern venom, an unsubtle but a reliable one that is very popular in the Grand Game.

Knockout Powder

Mentioned in Dragon Age: Inquisition, it is mentioned in the ability "Knockout Powder" that this will put enemies to sleep for a short amount of time. There is another version of this powder that will additionally make it so the enemies are slow to wake up.

Maferath's Embrace

A toxin that increases the blood pressure of the victim, causing the veins and organts to rupture. It is a particularly rare and expensive poison. It was used once in a famous assassination done by the Antivan Crows during the Towers Age; they were hired to eliminate the highest members of the Templar Order in retribution for covering up the slaughter of mages during the Right of Annulment, where the crows spiked the lemon cake. This earned the job the moniker "Just Desserts".

Magebane

DAO Description: The Chantry's templars keep whole vats of this substance in Val Royeaux. DA: TTRPG Description: Developed by the Templar Order, this violet liquid is anathema to apostates, draining their arcane energy. Circle mages aren’t exactly fond of it either.

Concentrated Magebane

DAO Description: Most experienced spellcasters feel their stomachs drop whenever they see something whose color reminds them of this fierce substance. DA: TTRPG Description: A more potent version of magebane, templars supposedly keep huge vats of the stuff in Val Royeaux.

Marrow lock

DA: TTRPG This insidious poison runs ice through its victim’s limbs, all but locking them into place. Marrow lock’s victims can only take minor actions without consequence for the remainder of the encounter. To take a major action they must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina) test. On a success they suffer 1d6 penetrating damage and can carry out their action. On a failure they suffer 2d6 penetrating damage and can do nothing but howl in agony.

Odorless Crow Poison

This poison is a gas, heavier than air that will steal the breath of those sleeping but it leaves those seated or standing unharmed.

Pillow Talk

A creation of Viago's, it is a rose-coloured ointment with a greenish tint in the candlelight. This ointment is comprised of varghest blood and something from a gurgut. Viago implies it might not be effective on vashoth (qunari). It is administered anywhere on the skin.

The poison is an influencer substance that makes a person believe they can say or do anything, that the individual is safe.

Poison

DAO: Awakening Description: A deadly toxin smuggled from Antiva. Ingestion is inadvisable.

Qamek

It is not exactly known what makes qamek, though it glows similar to lyrium. This poison is used by the Tamassrans to help reeducate, neutralize captured mages, or on those who refuse to convert to the Qun to mindless laborers. Its effects will allow the mind to be easily shaped in small doses, in larger doses it renders victims mindless and causes irreversible damage.

Quiet Death

DAO Description: A foul mixture of poisons that are each deadly even on their own. Quiet Death is so potent it unnerves even the most experienced assassins. DA: TTRPG Description: A foul mixture of poisons infamous even in assassins’ circles, quiet death kills instantaneously—or doesn’t, if (say the legends) its intended victim is destined for greater things. Victims must make a TN 19 Constitution (Stamina) test, but also add their level to their roll. Those who succeed shrug off the effects. Those who fail fall immediately to 0 Health and soon expire according to the normal rules for dying. Attempts to stabilize victims of quiet death suffer a –3 penalty.

Saar-Qamek

A lethal poison that can be a gas or a substance converted into one. It is lethal to all races except the vashoth (the horned race / qunari). It drives its victims mad before they die; it can set the enemies of the Qunari into a blind rage and cause them to turn against themselves.

Shock coating

DAO Description: A small vial with a strangely glowing substance.

Soldier's Bane

DAO Description: Whenever nations find themselves at war, envoys of the opposing generals inevitably discuss a ban on this effective toxin, but the talks never result in a lasting pact.

Concentrated Soldier's Bane

DAO Description: This effective anti-infantry poison is too thick to pour from the flask. Smashing the glass is the only way to get it out.

Soulrot Coating

DAO Description: A small vial that contains a dark viscous liquid.

Spider Venom

DA: TTRPG Description: Extracted from the massive arachnids the dwarves call deep crawlers, this poison can take the edge off a warrior's skill. Its effects last for the duration of the encounter.

Concentrated Spider Venom

DA: TTRPG Description: A concentrated distillate of an already-deadly natural poison. Its effects last for a day.

Tears of the Dead

DAI Effects: The next 3 hits inflict poison on the target, causing 44 damage per second for 15 seconds. The poison remains on the weapon for 10 seconds before expiring. Noted in the item id as "Crow Poison"

Venom

DAO Description: A potent poison extracted from deadly plants and the venom of several reptiles.

Concentrated Venom

DAO Description: A complicated distillation process has made this poison much thicker than any of its individual ingredients.

Vitaar

Known as "poison armor" in Qunlat, it is a mixture that is magical in nature and hardens the skin of vashoth to an iron-like quality without hindering flexibility. The mixture contains poison and an unknown neutralizer (thought to be their own blood). But it is only for use on their physiology, all other races would perish instantly.

The process of making vitaar activates the protective effecst in the poison in a similar manner to lyrium ruins.

It is notable that currently all vitaar names stem from either a poisonous plant or animal, or in a few cases like the dragon hunter and cretahl vitaar, dangerous predators.

Notable descriptions:

DAI Description: This strange Qunari face paint is created from deadly poison—fatal when applied to anyone other than a Qunari, whose unique physiology somehow not only neutralizes its effect but also allows the paint's magic to harden the flesh and provide other protections. Arishok's Vitaar According to stories out of Kirkwall, the military leader of the Qunari spent a number of years marooned in the Free Marches city of Kirkwall – without once receiving supplies from his people or calling for help. Why he did so, and how the Qunari got along without an arishok, is unknown. The Qunari in Kirkwall did, however, have to trade considerable supplies from their sunken ship… including the Arishok's personal face paint, created from a rare and venomous snake in Par Vollen known to kill a person in seconds.

Wyvern venom

Both a poison in itself and an ingredient to many. It is potent and has given rise to a family of poisons developed in Antiva. It can be recognized by the crimson speckling of the skin on its victims.

DA: TTRPG Description: Wyvern venom slows prey and kills gradually. Once afflicted, a target is in mortal danger. After a few moments, however, venom exposed to air becomes far less dangerous. Thus it is essential to harvest wyvern venom quickly and carefully if it is to be stored for future use by, say, poisoners. A TN 17 Cunning (Poison lore) test, requiring the remains of a freshly slain wyvern, harvests 1d6 doses of viable venom, leaving none behind for a second attempt. When using the Poison-Making Mishap rule, wyvern venom adds only a +1 to the mishap result with a maximum result of 6—it never slays outright. A character poisoned with wyvern’s venom must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina) test or be subject to its effects. A poisoned character drops to 0 Health after a number of hours equal to 1d6 + Constitution (minimum one hour), dying unless they receive a dose of antidote before their time runs out. During this time, victims are subject to fever, visions, and a -4 penalty to Dexterity. The antidote to wyvern venom is a potion (crafted with a TN 15 Cunning (Poison lore) test) made from a mixture of three particular herbs: Andraste’s mantle, drakevein, and winterberry. Andraste’s mantle, drakevein, and winterberry are not particularly rare, in general, but may be out of season or found mostly in distant lands if you want to increase the difficulty of such a quest.

Descriptions of Bombs, Grenades, and Traps

Acid Flask

DAO Description: A flask of corrosive acid. DA: TTRPG Description: Corrosive fog that burns skin and corrodes everything else emerges from these flasks. Armor worn by those in an acid flask’s attack radius permanently loses 1 point of Armor Rating (before the acid damage is applied) until it is repaired. Increasingly severe damage to armor can accumulate from the effects of multiple acid flasks.

Acidic Trap

DAO Description: The surface of this device has been terribly etched by small leaks of its corrosive contents.

Acidic Grease Trap

DAO Description: The acid burns nicely through leather, cloth, and skin. The grease clings to anything. It's a perfect combination for a sadist.

Antivan Fire

DAI Effects: Spreads sticky fire at the target location, causing 46 burning damage every second to enemies inside the fire. The fire remains for 30 seconds.

Choking Powder Trap

DAO Mild Choking Powder Trap Description: The packet of dust contained within is surprisingly heavy, as if it were powdered rock or metal. Choking Powder Trap Description: A debilitating kitchen accident with expensive imported spices led to the development of this trap. Choking Powder Cloud Trap Description: The inventor who devised this trap can no longer speak, so powerfully did his throat object to the mishaps along the way.

Combustion Grenade

DA2 Description: When thrown, this grenade explodes with flame, dealing fire damage to all it hits. Ingredients: Deep Mushrooms

Confusion Grenade

DAI Effects: Enemies within the area of effect will attack other enemies for 20 seconds.

Dispel Grenade

Awakening Description: This flask is meant to shatter when thrown, and not before.

Elemental Grenade

Awakening Description: A flask of corrosive acid.

Fell Grenade

DA2 Description: When thrown, this grenade explodes with flame, dealing fire damage to all it hits. Ingredients: Deathroot, Felandaris, Glitterdust

Fire Bomb

DAO Description: A glass flask filled with a flammable liquid. DA: TTRPG Description: Often made using dwarven firedust or gaatlock (Qunari black powder), this combustible liquid sets flammables in its attack radius ablaze, which is generally a minor (1d6) or moderate (2d6) hazard, but varies depending on the exact circumstances.

Fire Trap

DAO Description: In its current state, this trap is cool to the touch, but the substances contained inside are certain to react violently when mixed.

Freeze Bomb

DAO Description: A glass flask filled with an ice-cold liquid. DA: TTRPG Description: An ice-cold liquid distilled by using powdered frostrock, these grenades blast cold through the limbs of their victims, slowing their movements until the end of the encounter.

Freeze Trap

DAO Description: When packed next to each other, this trap can keep a cut of meat fresh for days longer than otherwise. But its primary use is still as a deadly weapon.

Jar of Bees

DAI Effects: Summons a swarm of bees at the target location for 30 seconds. The swarm attacks the first enemy that comes near it, for 163 damage per second for 15 seconds. A target affected by the swarm has a 10% chance every second to become panicked.

Knockout Bomb

DAI Description: You hurl a grenade containing a powerful concoction that put nearby enemies to sleep. Sleeping enemies awaken after taking damage.

Misdirection Cloud Trap

Awakening Description: Forming a coherent thought about this trap is nigh impossible.

Pitch Grenade

DAI Effects: Coats the target location with pitch, which remains for 60 seconds, slowing any enemies that enter it.

Poisoned Caltrop Trap

DAO Description: Poison on the surface of the skin is one thing. Poison deep within the veins, courtesy myriad deep punctures, is quite another.

Shock Bomb

DAO Description: A glass flask filled with a strangely glowing substance. DA: TTRPG Description: A brilliant fluid that scintillates with raw energy, these flasks contain powdered frozen lightning and explode with a burst of light and the stink of ozone. They cause penetrating damage to anyone clad in any kind of metal armor.

Shock Trap

DAO Description: Even packed safely, this trap causes hair to stand on end.

Sleeping Gas Traps

DAO Mild Trap Description: Even the tiny amount of gas leaking out of this trap causes a tingling sensation. Standard Trap Description: The original formulation of this trap induced snoring too often. The new design makes it a more a dignified weapon. Cloud Trap Description: This trap is swaddled thickly in cloth, lest the owner bump it too hard during transportation and lose half the day to an unwanted nap.

Soulrot Bomb

DAO Description: A flask filled with a murky green potion.

Soulrot Trap

DAO Description: To know this trap is to know despair.

Tar Bomb

DA2 Description: This bomb explodes in a thick tar that immobilizes nearby enemies for a short time. Ingredients: Deathroot, Deep Mushrooms

Antidotes and Antivenoms

Up and Adder

An antidote created by Viago.

Wyvern Venom Antidote

One well known antidote is comprised of three herbs: Andraste’s mantle, drakevein (a deep mushroom variety), and winterberry. It is not the most accessible cure as you can find yourself in need while either out of season or not in the range of the ingredients.

Wyvern Antivenom

One way to treat wyvern poisoning is to craft an antivenom using fresh venom from a wyvern and various herb. It will create a bone white paste that will help save the victom.

Tables and Text Provided by the TTRPG

Aquae Licidius Effects

1 - "I can see through time!”

2 - “You’re all just made up of firelight and shadows, you know, flavored like blue and yellow. If I douse you, you might go out. Wouldn’t want that.”

3 - “I had a brief vision of my great-grandmother, though she was eating turnips with a modest dragon and Andraste was there putting salt on everything.”

4 - “It was as though my soul took wing and floated about my head.”

5 - “I feel strange but also good!”

6 - “That stuff works well enough. ‘Nother round, anyone?”

Possible Deathroot Hallucinations

Roll 1 - "Even the birds are Mocking Me!" The character spends the next turn raving at and attacking something innocuous like a tree, barrel, wagon, shrub, or bird.

Roll 2 - "Get it Off! Get it Off! Get it Off!" The character is convinced they are covered by bugs, leeches, snakes, or the like. They spend the next turn swatting at non-existent creepy-crawlies.

Roll 3 - "You did this to Me!" The character believes one of their comrades has backstabbed them or is otherwise plotting their demise. On the next turn the character can only take the defend action and yell in outrage at their “betrayer.”

Roll 4 - "The Sky, the hideous Sky!" The character believes that some malign creature from the sky is about to carry them off (or, for dwarves, that they are going to fall into the sky). The character spends their next turn dropping their weapons and grabbing something solid.

Roll 5 - "The shadows are alive!" The character is overcome with fear of the surrounding shadows, including their own. They spend the next turn running at top speed away from the closest concentration of shadows.

Roll 6 - "Foul darkspawn!" The character is suddenly convinced that a random nearby ally (determined by the GM) is a darkspawn or other natural enemy. The character spends the next turn attacking that “enemy,” with a +1 bonus on attack rolls for their fervency.

Poison Texts

Heart of Fire This substantial tome was written by an anonymous priest of the Imperial Chantry. In it, he discusses the most and least proper methods for raining the wrath of the Maker on His enemies. It contains recipes for shock bombs, magebane, and concentrated magebane.

On Combustibles and Corrosives This book by a dwarven miner named Grundrak discusses the use of combustibles and corrosives for best effect. It contains the formulae for both acid flasks and fire bombs. Grundrak wrote it in the Trade Tongue, certain that humans needed its advice most of all.

Riaan's Hammer A noted work by the templar Riaan, this book mostly concerns subjects other than poison making, most notably the effective torture of maleficarum to save their souls. Even so, the chapter on magebane contains its recipe. The Chantry supposedly has copies that also contain the formula for concentrated magebane, but none are known to exist outside its cathedrals and it would be heresy to possess one.

Thoughts on Fragrance Supposedly written by the Antivan poetess Evelina, this book is a masterwork of cunning prose. Those who know the correct Crow ciphers are aware that, along with its fancy turns of phrase, it contains recipes for crow poison, concentrated crow poison, and adder’s kiss.

Unusual Diseases This large physician’s reference tome was written by the Tevinter physician-mage Telregard. Not only an invaluable study of the many strange ailments that afflict Thedans, it also contains detailed notes on substances that can cause the semblance of such diseases. These notes include the recipes for fleshrot and marrow lock. The book also gives a +2 bonus to Cunning (healing) tests for those treating the more outré diseases of the world.

The Web of Decieving This folio by the Shaper and naturalist Orgaard contains extensive notes—in the Dwarven tongue—on deep crawlers, which he studied extensively. It contains the recipes for both regular and concentrated spider venom.

Additional Notes/Trivia:

While aquae licidius is a liquor it is mentioned and shared in the poison section and so it is included here. As alcohol is technically poison, but if you want a complete list of alcoholic beverages please reference the drink post I have.

According to the Dragon Age Tabletop, some creatures may be immune to the effects of certain poisons, or of all poisons. The guide says the ruling should be based on logic over biology. Using the example of the incorporeal nature of shades and ash wraiths would logically render them immune to the effects of toxins. Where in contrast nothing in the nature of blight-tainted beings would suggest they're immune to the effects of poisons.

According to the Dragon Age Tabletop, most noble houses of Orzammar employ one or several poisoners at all times. As well as herbalists who develop complex antidotes to counteract the poisons.

Poison Text mentioned in Dragon Age Tabletop Core Rulebook; "Heart of Fire", "On Combustibles and Corrosives", "Riaan's Hammer", "Thoughts on Fragrance", "Unusual Diseases", "The Web Decieving".

"Poisoned weapons" in Dragon Age: Inquisition uses a "deadly toxin".

"Toxic Cloud" is an ability in Dragon Age: Inquisition that states you "unleash a cloud of toxic dust" that damages all enemies

"Explosive Toxin" is an ability in Dragon Age: Inquisition that states your "poisons curdle the blood of your targets."

Sources:

Dragon Age: Origins + Awakening

Dragon Age 2

Dragon Age: Inquisition

Dragon Age: The Last Court

Dragon Age: The Stolen Throne

Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights

Dragon Age Tabletop RPG

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forbidding-souda · 5 months ago

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hii could i request gundham, hajime, celestia (can be only gundham if u want) with a tradgoth!reader (can be both platonic or romantic whatever you prefer). also i just wanted to say that i love ur work <3

Gundham Tanaka, Hajime Hinata, and Celestia Ludenberg with a tradgoth S/O

vine boom, if this is ass then mind your business.

my own goth playlist

-Mod Souda

Gundham Tanaka

It's close to five in the afternoon. With the ebb of patience, you bite your lips, patting your eyeshadow with vigor. Precise and delicate, you try to keep your grip on the brush loose, and you keep pulling back to see if it's finally even with your other eye. From the bedroom attached to the bathroom, Gundham is tying his boots. If you don't hurry up soon, you both will be late for dinner. On this charming anniversary, Gundham surprised you with a day that he scheduled himself. At this hour, the finale is dinner, and you have spent long enough hair spraying your hair up to be able to do a full face. But you started the look anyway and are now stuck in the process.

Where you assumed he was feeling irritated, he was, in reality, getting somewhat worried. Did he not plan the time according to the time it takes you to prepare? He should know your timing by now. What did he mess up?

He was born with relationship anxiety. There is no reason to decide whether the fear is genetic or self-conjured, understanding it won’t make it go away.

But when you turn and smile at him, a nonverbal signal that you’re ready, your gorgeous face calms him down immediately. The blissful emotions you conjure don’t always come from traditional romantic things. There is a natural draw to your dark aesthetic and your thirst for horror, it’s a looming veneration. It’s mundane for him now.

Walking outside and getting eyes from locals is as traditional to you two as a businessman in a suit. A few kind locals love taking pictures with you two, something Gundham doesn’t appreciate. Whether it’s through morbid curiosity (something he’s familiar with) or genuine respect is your job to distinguish. You’re quite used to differentiating the two.

ᓚᘏᗢ

He gives the host his ID at the counter, anxiously avoiding their touch. You both enter with you having his trench coat draped over your shoulders from the cold while he sports his rare long sleeves. The words to the host are short, an avoidance of true conversation, and you two quietly follow them to your seats.

“I can’t believe how hot it is in here,” your first action is to sprawl the coat on the back of the chair.

“Certainly akin to the depths of hell.” He grumbles. You planned for this situation as your bag holds extra setting powder, and even a small fan.

“Wine for today?” You ask. “Or not.”

“It’s the occasion, but we must be on watch for the upcoming vulnerability to such of Aristaeus and his mighty grip.”

You lean forward. “You’re perfectly able to protect us, my lord. I have no fear for such entities.” And with a light tone, “I trust you.”

His cheeks dust with pink. The two of you lock eyes for only a second before he looks away. He wants to add on to the warning, but he’s scared he’d start stuttering. My lord. What an impressive addition to the pet names you use.

You place a hand under your chin, chipped nail polish on display, a casual sign of a settled relationship. “Ever easy to fluster.”

“Not many pleasant leaders in this mesh of corrupted souls,” he says. “A lover is rare, a gift from up above, something unnatural to ones such as myself.”

He’s explained this countless times and it never gets old. It’s his version of affirmation. He’s scared of physical affection, something as similar to him as touching a winged cockroach, but with a goddess as yourself he often gives you mercy by holding your hand or helping you with your hair. It’s the little things.

Rather rich and golden girls surround you guys, making you an eyesore. The various (what you consider) idiosyncrasies and quirks of people from old money can happen to resonate, but it will never be emulated. Once upon a time, you idolized being similar to that symbol of wealth. But when it comes to your subculture, you opt for DIY rather than name brands. Anastasia Beverly Hills doesn’t have an eyeshadow black enough to cover your lids evenly.

It’s not the mayhem your dark appearance can be associated with that drives these types of people away, it’s the confidence you emit. Something Gundham loves you for, and you spark that energy in himself. Compared to before, there is now no off-switch to his consistent style and the joy it brings him, especially when he’s seen by your side. You welcome him to your subculture, an idea he can consider home. His natural aesthetic is now accepted by someone he considers endgame, and nothing in the world can make him happier than that.

You give him a mischievous smile that quickly dissipates into something charming. “I can say the same. A lover such as yourself is rare. You amaze me, you… I cherish you, Gundham.”

“And I you.” His lips twitch as he smiles. He once again locks eyes with you, analyzing the kindness in them when you opened your heart to him. The sensitivity still makes him uneasy, even after the long time you two have been together. But he welcomes it nonetheless, ignoring his instincts, guarded your trust like it’s his last hope.

Nekomaru told him, “If you get a good one, you better hold on.” and he’s kept that in his mind. He needs to not push you away, he needs to hold on.

Imagine you sitting on the bed while he laces up your boots raaaa.

The wedding's aesthetic will scare the rest of the classmates ngl.

Covers his face with his scarf at any sudden affection from you, permanently flustered at the idea of being loves.

Sometimes he'll even turn away so you can't see the weakened look on his face and his aloof smile.

My baby my baby.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Hajime Hinata

He swears the sun is so hot that he can fry an egg on the concrete. His car, a passed down one, was shabby and tired, but he drove it happily anyway. You sit in the passenger seat, phone on aux, looking out the window at the trees that surround you.

The sun beams like a laser through the windshield and his control on the wheel starts to feel untrustworthy with the gravel of the road. He raises his hand, hiding the sun from his face before you reach over and put down the mirror.

He looks at you, you smile at him, eyes bright despite your dark aesthetic. His outfit matches yours but just in color palette. His black button up is unbuttoned enough at the collar to reveal his sternum, courtesy of the hot breeze. His fingers are decorated in gothic rings that you had gotten him for an anniversary.

As the car jerks once more, he furrows his brows. “You’re lucky.”

“What?” You ask while twisting the ac knob.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

Despite keeping his eyes on the road, he has the sense you’re giving him a soft smile.

“We’re almost there. Thank you for driving.”

He exhales a laugh through his nose, a vague scoff. Trusting you to drive his car on this road? No way. What’s even a question who the driver was.

“Ever think of finding one closer?”

You shrug. “This ones more beautiful than the ones attached to the city. You’ll see, you’ll get it.”

It wasn’t mandatory for him to go with you, but he understood the importance of sharing your subculture, especially since he is planning on being with you for the long-run. Having heard and seen the way your love blossomed for him triggered him into devoting his life to giving you the world.

In contrast to the former, you would have understood if he denied your request. He didn’t have to share your interest in the style and aesthetic, but you appreciate his piqued curiosity nonetheless.

When the metallic gates of the cemetery come into view, your spine straightens. “Stop here, I have to open it.”

“Are we breaking and entering?”

“No, I have the key. Stop here,” you repeat.

You open the car door and step out with an eagerness he’s hardly seen you have before. His state of mind while in your presence derived from attraction and interest. From your behaviors to the heels of your boots, his heart starts to beat when you shoot him a comforting look while walking away from the car.

You dig through your bag, your back shielding whether you truly have a key or are just picking the lock. Either way, you push the gate open, your deltoids working as you do so, and you give a final push to give a fit entrance for the car.

When he expects you to re-enter the car, you don’t, shaking your head at him. You take out your phone and take a picture of the cemetery ahead of you before he has the chance to ruin the glamor shot with his driving.

Without you in the passenger seat, he looks around in confusion. Where is he even supposed to park?

You don’t care to explain, rather just walking ahead.

Without the sound of your music, the environment is suddenly quiet except for the sound of his wheels crossing over rocks. Giving up, he pulls to the side, putting his car in park, eyes still on you. You’re taking selfies, a bunch of them in the same angle, often raising the camera to get a view of your outfit.He closes the car down, unbuttoning another button, trying to ignore the sweat on his chest, and steps closer. That’s when you whip around, taking a selfie with him candidly walking in the background. You put your phone down and look at the photo. With the last button down, he looks so tasty you can almost swallow him whole. You smile, this photo is for me.

You do get to use pencil eyeliner for his waterline but don't even try putting it on his lids.

He'll get black roses for any romantic event, no matter how cliche, he still thinks the sight of you holding them is beautiful.

I imagine Souda had a crush on you first.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Celestia Ludenberg

cw I completely character analysized (made up word) Celestia's freetime events.

She has no one to blame for her constant isolation but her famished demons. Companionship has always been menacing, there has never been one so similar to her. She has chosen her cat over any potential love interests. Though here, gazing at your smile, a small hint of black lipstick stained on your teeth, she smiles to herself. The (rather inconsistent to the simple bather) lamps in your restroom offer a light bright enough to make it noticeable.

She gently holds out one of her handkerchiefs.

“Watch for your teeth, my love.”

Her bluntness towards your small mistakes (a mishap with clunkiness in your contour or something as simple as uncoordinated shades of black) often has you bickering like a married couple, but today you take the handkerchief and running it across the front of your mouth, blotting off the extra lipstick along the way.

“Thank you,” you say. Her eyelids drop to the kind words. She’s not used to being thanked so genuinely.

After she deems you two ready, she enters her bedroom, a room that has the full ability to weigh down the average person's soul. She doesn’t care about keeping her bedroom family-friendly with the amount of gruesome-looking antiques and animal skulls, as well as the new, tan-colored cat tree that doesn’t match the environment at all. But she couldn’t find a black one and instead had to settle. Things like that make her more ‘human’ than she can commonly be interpreted.

She doesn't consider herself a model, but the gambling competitions that aren’t underground often require a photo to be shown. While others settle on a mugshot ass photo, she likes a professionally taken photo that captures her quality. Her beauty feels hallucinogenic, especially when accompanied with a stylistic background that she purposely poses to not blend into.

Her newly favorite poses require your body draped over her, and a neutral facial expression with lips slightly parted. Those photos are framed along the hallways of her house. She looks at them often, tilting her head, trying to hide her love-stuck eyes when she stares at you.

She shows you the world through her eyes, revealing you to dirty riches and a river of corruption. She uses her riches to give you a satisfied life, putting faith into you developing shared interest in hers. But one of the things that drew you two together was the similarities. She has never believed in ‘soulmates’, but the early interactions you two had gave her hope to a happy future.

Will bluntly point out when your eyeliner is uneven.

^ "Sisters not twins, Celestia."

Imagine how pretty her wedding dress would be.

Blood in vial necklace? She asked once until she learned how rotted the ooze can get after time.

She still has to get accustomed to not being selfish, and you're fully aware of her struggle with this new 'habit' of equal relationships.

#gundham tanaka x reader #danganronpa #hajime hinata x reader #celestia ludenberg x reader #x reader

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