#poetry and drugs

[voidic3ntity]

I yearn for something far more peaceful than my own mind.

[tangledinink]

hey. do you remember when we were six, and you walked me to the nurse's office when i fell and skinned my knee? do you remember when we were twenty-three, and i called you paramedics because you overdosed on xanax?

do you remember when we were four, and you held my hand at the ballpark when i was afraid we'd get split up? do you remember when we were eighteen and i left home and never came back?

do you remember when we were eleven, and i beat you at that car racing game that you liked so much for the first time ever, and you were devastated?

hey. do you remember when i was twenty-five, and i got the call from mom?

[heartbreakscars]

i was never inlove with the first boy

or the second

or the third

just like i was never addicted to the drugs

or the drinking

or the sex.

its always just been

the addiction to feeling

i want to feel

[emotionaleating]

you were never a bad person to me. i am. and i’m so sorry i wish i didn't hurt you like this i know that you like me and i can't commit to you anymore i’m sorry that i hurt you. i’m sorry that i destroyed your expectations and all. i’m sorry i’m messed up in my mind right now. you love me too much it's overwhelming and i’m not used to it idk why i crave for love but the second i get it i become avoidant and everytime i’m in relationships i always sabotage it. i’m an asshole i know that thanks for listening lol

[theaddictspoetry]

Grief is weird I think of you every day, Some days I smile. some days I cry. some days I just drown, drown in the could have beens, should have beens, the unknown. the unknown- is what truly kills us. this wasn't supposed to be this way, i'll spend forever trying to find out why you're not here anymore.

@theaddictspoetry

[beaft]

finding out that most other people have an internal monologue fucked me up so bad i swear. what do you MEAN you have a little voice talking inside your head the whole time? does that not drive you nuts???

[rosalieee]

Versprich mir, das wir uns im nächsten Leben finden, bevor uns unsere Vergangenheit kaputt machen kann.

[mirusuchanne]

Mother and Father (The girl who has all types of issues that exist in this world and is chronically insane, and the guy who claims he has a massive dick and is actually gay)

[niezywa-poetka]

Jaki jest sens życia skoro wszystko prowadzi do śmierci?

[vanx-97]

You make me so angry and you make me sad

You’re so concerned about a future you don’t have

Far from what you can achieve, close to a body bag

Some people love seeing life, you love to see it pass

So cloudy and no one can make it clear 

You don’t know what to do with your career

Family talks of fallback plans you don't wanna hear

School graduate drug addict kid who wants to disappear

The friends you had I thought they were great

The friends you hold onto are the ones that I hate

Everything you borrow, nothing you repay

You’d fuck up someone’s week to be high for 1 day

You don’t even try, you just give up on your goals

You dread the day success comes close

I really hope that you don’t overdose

The world didn’t watch you grow just to watch you go

Young adults are all confused, you are not alone

So many stars that collapse into black holes

Some of those people you used to know

I think you should take it slow before you implode

You can’t control everything, you weren’t meant to

I don’t think that the universe hates you

Be yourself and do what you love to do

Take it from someone who had to die to see that life is beautiful

You will struggle, things won’t always work

This dance with death will only make it worse

You want to change, believe in yourself first

Eventually you will find your place on this earth

[galaxywarp]

I was on fentanyl the night my mom had her heart attack.

Smoking cigarettes with her on the back porch

while she worried that her chest felt funny.

And I was smoking a cigarette when I called my sister outside of the hospital

after a doctor had told me to “wait outside”

after I asked

if my mother was going to survive.

And I texted my dealer the next morning

asking him if he could throw a little extra my way

because my mom had just almost died

and I needed to almost kill myself to feel better.

And my grandma was home the night I let that stranger shoot me up.

And he told me “if you start to feel like you can’t breathe,

just cough.”

And I was on meth the Christmas that I had COVID

the same way I was when I graduated

alone in a room

quarantined

clutching my pipe

and surrounded by the ghosts of my empty accomplishments.

And I was on meth the morning that my grandmother died.

And I was on meth a week later when my dog died, too.

And I didn’t cry that morning, but my dealer did,

when I told him what I had been through.

Today I’ve been clean for 457 days

and I miss getting high.

But I do have to admit

I missed being able to cry.

[voidic3ntity]

torture: the concept of reality seems to mould itself around pain.

[happysadmadgirl]

I finally came to the realization that it’s not me… it’s them. They suck, I don’t. CASE CLOSED.

[quotelr]

Just knowing that you are there and you would be thinking about me while I am thinking about you makes my heart feel serene and contented.

Avijeet Das

[i-lovee-youu-too]

[dy-mph-na]

TW: Abuse/Drug Addiction