#other people online are not going to make your system more healthy!!!

[catboybiologist]

Wanted to ask about this for a while but you had asks off, you mentioned having experienced hetero(ish) relationships from "both sides", so like, do you have any interesting observations or perspectives you think most people don't know about?

Ah yes, the bisexual transgender eye. There's lots to say here, and I don't think much of it hasn't been said before. I don't think my observations are limited to what I'm rambling about here, but here's some surface level ones.

Btw, this is probably going to be my post with the most weirdly gendered thing of anything I've posted here. I hope its abundantly clear that I don't think any of this intrinsic or morally good, its just my observation on how heterosexuals act towards each other while dating. This isn't about the boxes men and women should be in, its about the boxes that society has put them in.

I think that dating apps are intensifying stereotypical "masculine" and "feminine" dating roles in heterosexual relationships. Eg, encouraging men to "take the intitiative", oftentimes enabling harassing behavior in the process. This, in turn, forces women to screen and shut down men extremely harshly. Except, because of the entire dynamic that's being set up now, this makes a lot of men think women are "playing the game", and again, enables harassment from them.

I recently deleted all my dating apps, but even before then, I had them set to women and enbies/other only for a long time. Her was my primary app, but it has a very small userbase where I live.

Irl, men absolutely take the initiative more than women, but less aggressively than online. There's a huge added element of fear because of the in person aspect, however, and when meeting up, men can be extremely pushy.

The "toxic girlboss" angle of this is that this is often fun to play with. If you're clearly communicating in a serious context, and have established systems of consent that extend to communication as well as the bedroom, playing with "the chase" is... intoxicating. Having a man wrapped around your finger is really fucking fun. It has to feel safe and fun for both parties involved, though. You need to be able to "break character" at any point and have direct conversations, either about boundaries or directly communicating a want or need.

Obviously I haven't publicly been a woman for very long, so my experience isn't vast and limitless or anything. But I've had a few wonderful romantic entanglements with men already. Luckily for me, one of these is ongoing 😘

As for some of the people I've talked to, but never gotten far with.... cishet men are really stupid. I'm sorry but like. Y'all are. There's a lot to be said about how society normalizes male incompetence in heterosexual relationships (eg, the dopey husband stereotype) but I think this also extends to the early stages of a relationship. Men very frequently bitch and moan about "games" while not realizing that they play just as many "games" themselves. Oftentimes, those games involve being overly pushy with everything, and then not communicating their own limits and what they want out of a situation, expecting women to figure it all out for them. Eg, they want to bring forward unlimited energy and pushiness, but expect women to be the ones that whittle them down to what they actually want. This applies both romantically and sexually. Men have a lot of emotional needs, of course, and yes its a problem that they're often not met. But a huge part of that is society discouraging them from openly communicating what they want.

I guess to summarize all of this, I feel like so much of modern dating is essentially a process of elimination, where men are constantly encouraged to push and say yes, and women are constantly encouraged to shut them down for their own safety, and if they're lucky, they eventually reach a healthy dynamic by sheer process of elimination. Which... really isn't fun, and leaves a lot of room open for frustration.

Queer relationships and flirting provide a lot of open communication that hetero dynamics don't. I've had the most luck in "heterosexual" dynamics with queer or queer adjacent people, and literally everyone I've ever gotten past the initial stages of "talking" with has been at least a little bi, by their own admission. It's not that straight men aren't interested in me, or that straight women weren't interested in me before, its just that these are the people who will understand my existence as a queer woman the best and communicate with me the most openly.

I probably could say more, but that's a summary, I guess. I know its weird and stereotypical, but unfortunately, heterosexual dating is pretty much the most gendered possible environment you could be in. I feel like Jane Goodall in there sometimes, but hey. Ya gotta do what you gotta do.

[thestarseersystem]

SIGH.

You do not always have to do "source separation" with your introjects in order to have a healthy system.

Only do it if alters *want* to. If they don't want to, you're only forcing them to be someone they're not and that's cruel.

We have only a few alters who've done it. OF THEIR OWN ACCORD. We've never pushed for that.

Besides, we have like a bagillion introject fragments. Why in gods name would we do something so inconvenient?

Like. Before considering what's healthy and what's not, consider what your other system members want. That's how you get a healthy system, by respecting each other's wishes and feelings.

[basingstokemercury]

anyway to completely digress from all-nighter fuelled semi-poetic character analysis

personal life is rapidly approaching the point of impossibility

yes thank you i know i need a job to get anywhere and it's unfair to expect parents to completely support me when i'm perfectly healthy and the things i need to go into serious theatre aren't exactly cheap

so uh

still waiting to find one single job outside the creative arts that can be performed while being:

lazy, selfish, socially nonfunctioning, irresponsible, unable to maintain focus on boring/repetitive tasks, conflict-averse to the extent of shutting down when confronted, completely irregular sleep schedule, allergic to routine that involves more than a couple scheduled events per week, unsuited to manual labour, and oh yeah absolutely terrible at interviews

"you're such a good teacher" thank you. i've been a student. not going anywhere near a room full of kids.

"you said yourself you want to work with animals" i do. i'm also nowhere near responsible enough to be in charge of caring for little squishy things that could die if my attention wanders.

"waitress -" spent years going to restaurants with the kind of person who annoys waiters. wouldn't be one if it were the only job on earth.

"cashier -" just a less intense version of waitress. and anyway i'd never be able to sit there for hours doing the same thing over and over.

it's awfully touching that people have faith in me but i do think i know my own flaws.

okay that was rough. have a fairfax.

[qqueenofhades]

For creative writing purposes, can you go into what a typical day is for a professor? Like what their teaching schedule looks like, when most fit in their research time, etc?

Ahaha, well. I don't want to just say "you can completely make it up," but also.... you can pretty much just make it up, and what is the case for one professor is definitely not going to be true for another. I have known people who will send emails at 1am and/or 4am, and actually finding and fitting in research time for most academics is also "lololololol what." So I can give you a roster of typical daily academic tasks and categories, and then let you know if that if you want to throw them up in the air and scatter them around in literally whatever-the-fuck order, there is probably a beleaguered academic who has done that, but with an even worse sleep schedule. So:

Most permanent faculty at a university are hired as assistant (tenure-track) professors. Once they pass the tenure-committee review (usually about 5 years into the job) they are appointed as associate (tenured) professors. Full professors are considerably senior and/or have been in the field for a long time and have a distinguished service record, excluding various wunderkinds who get it early (but are not common).

If the faculty is just teaching one class a semester or has an irregular appointment, i.e. they step in to teach when the university needs them, they are adjunct professors. You can gain a lot of cred and/or commiserating groaning in your AO3 comments by complaining about how little money the adjunct faculty makes, how erratic their schedule is, and how there is generally little-to-no actual career advancement possible in that position, unless they manage to reapply to a permanent post.

There are also a lot of Visiting Assistant Professors (and similar title), for 2- or 3-year/non-permanent appointments. Many institutions now also offer 1-year VAPs with only a possibility of renewal for 1 additional year or not at all. Those institutions should go straight to hell.

Most professors have 3/3 teaching loads, i.e. they'll teach 3 classes per semester (assuming winter/spring semester). Others have 2/2/2 loads for trimesters (also known as quarters). It can be more, i.e. 4/4, but that's for sucky entry-level teaching-only positions and someone in that role would be unlikely to have any research or service (i.e. institutional committee or internal college) commitments. They would probably also mostly be teaching introductory or freshman-year general survey courses. It depends on how much you want to torture your fictional academic.

Free food? Yes. You will see a healthy amount of the department there, whether faculty or student.

Please remember to have your fictional academic receive approximately 50 student emails a day wherein they ask something that is clearly answered in the syllabus or on the course website, and to see how polite they can possibly be in telling said student this.

Most grading is now done online, so the red pen is only metaphorical, but you can leave SO many Pointed Comments on Canvas Speed Grader. But if you want to torture Dr. Blorbo, you can have the e-grading system suddenly stop working, so they have to grade three classes' worth of introductory freshman history essays by hand. Not based on real events.

Likewise, there will be endless bullshit with the dean's office and/or central university administration, wherein there will be so many Urgent Budget Updates and Breaking News From The Chancellor and We Regret To Inform You We Cannot Hire Someone For That Position.

Related to the budget woes: they will ask you to do things like "make sure you print on both sides of the paper!" or otherwise "economize." Contemplating murder is acceptable and encouraged.

The administrative assistant in each department holds the entire department together. They will be extremely indispensable. Your fictional academic, if they know what's good for them, will befriend that person and/or grovel at their feet. Said person is also usually responsible for scheduling classrooms, which can cause all kinds of juicy drama in the academic fandom if there is One Particular Classroom that everyone hates and lo and behold, Dr. Blorbo is stuck there yet again. They will then probably also fire off multiple passive-aggressive emails attempting to correct the problem. The administrative assistant can grant and/or ignore these requests at their discretion, depending on how much beef they have with Dr. Blorbo and/or how motivated they are to solve their problems.

Department meetings! Who asked for them? Nobody! Who has to attend them? Everybody! They go on for two hours every other week (possibly more depending on how meeting-happy your department chair is) and you will wish for death!

Likewise, the department staff sending out passive-aggressive emails about how they really NEED one more volunteer for (insert university event here). Dr. Blorbo, if they are smart, will delete these emails and pretend they never saw them, but sometimes it may be unavoidable. Bitching and moaning will follow.

For research: it really depends on what academic field Dr. Blorbo is in, since the hard sciences, etc. look quite different and I, as a humanities person, can't speak to that. Most academics aim to fairly regularly publish a piece in a peer-reviewed journal; you can check Dr. Blorbo's field to see what journals they might be trying to submit a journal article (usually max. 8000 words, sometimes more) to.

This will go through a process called Peer Review, wherein two anonymous academics review your work (also anonymized to them) to make sure that you are not talking out of your ass. It is a running joke that Reviewer 2 will always, ALWAYS be more grumpy and critical and otherwise annoying. Invoking the specter of Dr. Blorbo receiving a peer review evaluation for their article will send a shiver down every academic's spine.

If Dr. Blorbo has recently finished their PhD, they may be working on converting their PhD thesis into an academic monograph. The most horrible part of this process, hands down, is reviewing proofs to make an index. Don't ask me how I know this.

However, academic monographs take a lot of time and work and most academics are mostly focused on publishing journal articles, book chapters (in collected volumes) or editing/working in collaboration with other projects.

Likewise: Dr. Blorbo will have to write book reviews. This is accomplished by the very scientific method of subscribing to various industry publications and/or email lists that will sometimes send out lists of books that need to be reviewed and solicit people to sign up. You will then receive a hard copy of the book (usually) and have 3 months or so to read it and write a review. The first 2 months of this, give or take, will consist of the book sitting untouched on the academic's desk as they remind themselves that they still have plenty of time to do it.

There can, however, be INCREDIBLE beef in book reviews, and while the standards of professional courtesy dictate that you don't go great-guns-flaming calling someone else in your field a moron (in more technical language), sometimes it is unavoidable.

Do they get paid for any of this extra intellectual work? Lol. No. No they do not. They don't get paid enough for their actual job.

Dr. Blorbo will inevitably hear some Hot Gossip about what nonsense has recently happened at which field-specific conference (where academics go to present research papers and network with other academics and make regrettable decisions at the open bar). They will then rush to secretly text all their other academic friends with OOH JUICY ACADEMIC DRAMA. Their friends will do the same whenever the opportunity arises to reciprocate.

Removing the coffee machine from the break room/faculty kitchen is grounds for mutiny.

Anyway. I am sure there are many, MANY more, but if you want an authentic slice of long-suffering academic life for Dr. Blorbo, this is all a good place to start.

[sysmedsaresexist]

what are your thoughts on the community theory that autism may cause more fictives?

I come to you, anon, a broken man. I am in shambles. My life has been ripped apart.

I just spent a straight hour writing a response. It was a beautiful response, with sources, and pretty colors, and oh, about 2k words.

And it's all gone.

BUT!!! I, Quill, am not one to be discouraged. I'm going to redo this. FROM THE TOP!!!! (and now saving draft every 5 seconds istg-)

TL;DR: I really genuinely love the theory and think it has a lot of merit. However, I also really disagree with how some parts of the community handle this theory, and the stereotypes of autistic systems that come from it.

Alright. Mod Quill here, yes, I am an autistic system, currently a bit itchy inside because I should've been almost done this post and nearly into my latest fixation (don't starve together), and instead I'm rewriting this all and delaying my gratification. I am being so strong and brave right now.

[EDIT, before I actually get started, now that I'm done my ramble: in the following essay, I discuss introjection as a whole, rather than just fictives. I personally only have fictional introjects, but we all absolutely despise the term fictive being used on our system, so we avoided the term.]

Let's start with the fact that introjection is incredibly normal. My GOAT, Piaget, discusses at length how schema develops, and that's based a lot in introjection. Introjection, as a concept, is the idea that we, as people, unconsciously take on the beliefs, personality traits, sometimes even emotions of those around us. This can be for a lot of reasons.

Introjection (Defense Mechanism) was an interesting article I found discussing this idea, especially as it discusses introjection VS internalization, identification, and incorporation. Basically, when y'all try to find good articles online about introjection, those other words are usually fair game as well. This article is largely setting out to define various types of introjection. It describes normal introjection (bringing up Piaget, love that guy, he's my main man as a teacher) and brings up how introjects (i.e. the emotions/traits/beliefs/etc) can be distorted via fantasy. When that happens, it's considered secondary identification, and (she cites Freud here but I am not going digging more for MORE research atm), "Such secondary identification aims to reduce feelings of separation and hostility, and increase feelings of closeness, between the self and the external object, and thus it is regarded as a defense mechanism." So, in basic terms, introjection as a coping mechanism is often meant to reduce separation and increase closeness between an individual and the object of their introjection.

This can be seen very readily in CDDs. For instance, a hypothetical child is seeking more secure attachment with an abusive parental figure; they then form a dissociative part that is literally that abusive parental figure, making that person a part of them. This is a highly pathological defense mechanism.

So where does autism come in? Well... It's a disorder featuring:

A constant feeling of loneliness or ostracization for many individuals (discussed here)

A feeling of requirement for masking or mimicry of others in order to fit in (discussed here)

Diagnostic criteria that clearly show an inability to connect with others, rigid thinking patterns (akin to a fixed-mindset, just musing here), and an inability to maintain healthy relationships.

So... autistic CDD systems would then be individuals with a dissociative disorder, who (due to their autism) often report feeling more disconnected with themselves than their peers, who already rely on imitation as a conscious form of survival in an attempt to achieve closeness...

So you mean to say, Autistic CDD Systems Introject More???? HUH.

It's spelled out right there. It's fairly blatantly obvious. And genuinely, I don't think anyone was really doubting this. I don't think anyone is really out here saying that autistic people don't experience significant dissociation/introjection.

However, there's a lot of people recently shouting to the hilltops that there's no proof that autistic systems experience higher amounts of introject alters. And...

Duh? Obviously? There's already a significant lack of research into introjects in CDD systems. Why on earth would they then skip forward to research into introjects in autistic CDD systems? The medical world isn't going to skip around like that -- particularly, well... because why would they even research this to begin with?

Genuinely, I think that's my frustration with the recent discourse about this topic. There really is no reason, in my eyes, why the medical world should focus on this topic. What benefit would it have for patients? Introjects are simply another form of alter, same as any other. I suppose, potentially, it could lead to more ideas on how to help autistic CDD systems with their introjects in particular, but... is it that much different than just treating autistic CDD systems as a whole?

There's really no reason to be so up in arms about this idea. You're not going to be getting proof that this theorized correlation is actually scientifically valid; that's just not going to be happening anytime soon, unless someone has a really invested interest in autistic CDD introjects.

However...

HOWEVER!!!!!

That also does not mean I necessarily agree that every autistic system is like this. Because, for instance, I am not like this.

If you don't know, hi, I'm Quill, a mixed-origin CDD system featuring 15 parts. The origins aren't really important to this conversation, but we like to use accurate labels. We have 4 introjects, all of whom are fictional in nature. One is very close to source, one is so separated we forget she's an introject, and the other two are somewhere in the middle. And, despite what most people would assume, as I am a level 2 autistic individual as well as a system...

Only one of those introjects is from a hyperfixation of ours -- one that was brief, lasting only about 2 days, and that has never caught me up again -- and she's the one who immediately source separated.

Now, I am someone who struggles with hyperfixations. I scream internally while I autistically click the next 5 hour FNAF marathon when I'm supposed to be grading. I know so much lore. But yet, despite the sheer number -- undertale, MLP, FNAF, Petscop, most recently DST -- I haven't split introjects from any of those fixations.

And, well, that makes sense. Because introjection isn't just about attachment to an object. It's about taking something you need from that object. And it's unconscious in most cases.

(Semantically, I suppose that means that introject isn't really the best term for created parts who are fictional in nature, but I do not care about semantics all that much when it comes to people's self-identified labels in a minority group).

So, in the cases of my introjects:

At a time when we felt incapable, angry, and confused, we split a confident, strong, and (healthily) angry part.

At a time when we felt we were at risk of losing everyone and everything because we couldn't keep them happy, we split a character who found her lost loved ones and kept everyone happy.

At a time when we felt we needed distance from our conflicting emotions, we split someone who canonically has never been conflicted.

At a time when we were in desperate need of love, we split someone we knew would seek that love out without fail.

It wasn't based on our hyperfixations; it was based on our needs.

I think that large swaths of the system community online forgets that CDDs are borne of childhood trauma. Splits in CDD systems are caused by trauma-responses* -- you're stressed out, so your brain puts what you need to handle that stress (such as the memory of the event, the feelings you need to handle it, the personality traits that would be helpful) into a new part. In the case of introjection, a CDD brain is still doing that -- it just relies on a blueprint provided by the world around them. In the cause of autistic systems, I think they find it especially easy to rely on those blueprints.

I mean, autism comes with its own difficulties with personhood, dissociation, and lack of feeling like oneself. There's evidence to indicate that, rather than an autobiographical sense of self based on seamless memories, autistic individuals lean toward a patchwork sense of self. Extend that to CDD systemhood, an inherently dissociative, traumatic experience that comes with memory problems that further prevent autobiographical self memory, and you've got a compelling reason why introjecting whole characters (with themes and narratives that fit the experiences trying to be integrated) might be more common in autistic systems.

And... all of that -- all of the nuance, all of the discussion of trauma and the inherent struggles of being autistic -- somehow has been boiled down repeatedly, on both sides of the argument, to "Autistic systems split more introjects because they hyperfixate."

This idea led to me feeling completely isolated in system communities. I found myself in groups with the following (incredibly limited) views on autism and systemhood:

Introjects are not more common with autism at all, and anyone saying so is spreading misinformation.

Introjects only split due to traumatic experiences, and autistic people experience more trauma than others, so they split more introjects.

Introjects split more frequently in autistic systems due to hyperfixations, so if you're really autistic, you have more introjects.

And... none of these are right. All of them lack nuance, and all of them patently ignore the facts about trauma and how it impacts the brain in CDDs.

Based on the community experiences I've seen, there is a blatant correlation between autism and introjects. To ignore that correlation is to be blind to the community entirely. However, to say the correlation is only due to hyperfixation is to ignore many, many other possible reasons why autistic systems split more introjects -- of which my post only addressed some potential reasons -- and, in doing so, isolates many systems. It also stereotypes autism to hyperfixation, which is only one of the thousands of potential sprinkles on someones autism sundae, and leaves some individuals (such as myself) feeling even further isolated.

(And to suggest that it is because autistic people experience "more trauma" than others is to begin the 2025 Trauma Olypmics, and I refuse to entertain a torch bearer for those particular games.)

I understand where many individuals are coming from when they express frustration over the theory; I've been in that exact position myself, demanding proof of the correlation due to my own isolation from the community. And, with a disorder that already, inherently, feels so isolating already, on top of another disorder with its own share of isolating feelings...

I just desperately hope that people can be open to others experiences. I think it's entirely possible that someone attaches so firmly to a hyperfixation that they split a new part from it. I also think the theory I presented here -- that autistic individuals introject more readily due to a propensity for introjection in part borne of trauma -- is also entirely possible. I think there's thousands of possible explanations, and I think there's thousands of "right answers."

And I also think that none of this matters beyond a simple intellectual curiosity, and coming to understand myself more. I wrote all of this up due to my passion for the subject. I am autistic, and I want to be seen, and heard, and I want people to understand it more. I want people to broaden their perspectives and maybe see someone else's shoes, even if they aren't comfortable wearing them yet.

If another system is like mine, yay! If another system is unlike mine, yay! Regardless, every system is unique -- just like how every representation of autism is unique. And I think we should find beauty in the theories that present themselves, and enjoy the ideas more than the outcomes.

Fun additional reading that came up in the process of my buzzing about this for multiple hours:

Experiencing Self and Others: Contributions From Studies of Autism to The Psychoanalytic Theory of Social Development -> According to a friend (paraphrasing a tiny bit), "the abstract, in my reading, is basically saying that comparing autistic and non-autistic kids can help us understand more about how theory of mind and mental modeling of others can develop, particularly in relevancy to concepts of internalization/introjection." They did read through the whole article (while also warning me to never use scihub) and indicated for me that this really doesn't discuss autism in correlation to introjection, and even seems to suggest that autistic people can't introject (in the non-pathological sense) due to their inability to connect to others. (I genuinely think this is in direct opposition to the first study I mentioned, about how introjection is a defense mechanism, especially as autistic people experience significant amounts of trauma due to their disorder anyways.)

Making the thought thinkable: On introjection and projection -> Can only access the first page, which discusses a bit about echlalia and inner worlds. However, the title makes me curious about what this could offer in terms of the Autistic System Introjects Debate(tm). I want to go digging a bit more to see if I can get around the paywalls on this. This is a complete wild card to me.

Whose memories are they and where do they go? Problems surrounding internalization in children on the autistic spectrum -> A very interesting article that came up while my friend was reading the Experiencing Self article. Again, I cannot access anything but the abstract myself (fucking pAYWALLS) but it's promising. Here's a quote: "The author suggests that, instead of internalizing shared experiences leading to growth, children with autism can feel that they add to themselves by taking over the qualities of others through the ‘annexation’ of physical properties that leads to a damaged object and can trigger a particular sort of negative therapeutic reaction." (Emphasis mine) Friend suggests full article is a goldmine. I'll leave that for you all to go digging for, if you'd like to know more.

(*Footnote: I mean splitting in the most basic, CDD medical understanding of the disorder way possible. Obviously, as a mixed-origin system, I understand there's more than one way to split a part than simply through traumatic/stressful experiences.)

[proshippers-against-censorship]

P-A-C DISCORD:

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Just a little bit of housekeeping. Bear with me.

You may call me Jackal. I'm an adult and literally do not give a hoot about what pronouns you use for me. I do not claim to be a good person. If I was a good person, this account would not exist. I am a civil and polite person, though, and I expect you all to be the same. I am a mechatronics major and previously a psychology major. The majority of the information I share here comes from some of the greatest minds to exist on this planet. Perhaps consider heeding it, especially if you have no formal education on the topic.

I do not write nor read most lolicon, incest, or bestiality content. I do not support pedophilia, incest, rape, or bestiality in real life. I do read lolicon of adult women with more youthful bodies, because that content helps me grow confidence in my own body, as I'm constantly mistaken to be a child despite being above the age of 18. I do hope all child-touchers, animal-fuckers, rapists, racists, and anybody else who harms a living thing out of ill get the psychological help that they desperately need. To reiterate, this account is strictly ANTI-CONTACT. You can't control paraphilias but you can control the harm they cause.

I do support the protection of all things fictional, because if we make the things a few people find morally wrong to be illegal, we've then already lost when the folks on top go after fiction supporting LGBT, non-christian religions, etc.

I also support the protection of vent pieces, even if that vent centers around things like pedophilia, rape, etc. I am proud of you for taking yet another step towards healing from abuse you suffered in the past and/or from the harmful paraphilias that you struggle with currently.

This account is built on the notion that any interaction will be productive and good-natured regardless of the involved parties. You are free to give your stance on why proship is bad...so long as you accept the fact that people are then welcome to debate back on why proship isn't bad. Any debates that turn hairy will be ended, however, healthy debate and challenging your beliefs is a wonderful way to continuously educate yourself.

Despite my account, I do not intend on forcing a belief on you. In fact, I greatly support that you look at both anti-proship and proship content, and make the effort to educate yourself as well as possible and determine what belief you truly belong to. There is no good in trapping yourself in an echo chamber.

You are free to submit any points as asks or submissions. So long as they are productive and good-natured, I will post them, regardless of what side they take. If they are not productive or good-natured, they will either be deleted, or I will post them to both clown on you for being an asshole and educate you the best I can on why anti-proship is a rather harmful belief system.

Feel free to draw my attention to any posts I haven't reblogged yet that would fit in to this blog. I'll look them over and reblog them.

Most posts will be reblogs, asks, and submissions. However, I may occasionally post my own thoughts. These will often be tagged with #jackal barks, but sometimes I will forget. Any hate comments will be simply tagged as #hatemail

Please just block this blog if uncomfortable with the content. It's very glitchy on my phone, so most of the time, tags are incredibly minimal. I will not hold anything against you for blocking the blog. The whole point is that you are the one responsible for curating your online existence. If you dislike incest ships, block em. Dislike noncon content, block it. Dislike the contents of this blog, block me. You control what you see, just as others control what they see. Curate your feed, don't curate others.

Thank you all for reading this, and remember, if you let them destroy the fiction you find morally despicable, then when they come for what you enjoy and support, you've already lost.

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Ask/submission tagging system!

#pro stance - proshipper asks

#anti stance - antishipper asks

#no stance - asks of indeterminate standing

#birthday wishes - B O R T H

#hate mail - death threats and the like

#jackal barks - I'm Talkin Here!

#jackal pets - my fur babies!

#jackal rpf - rpf of me

#jackal ships - ships of me

#tot 2024 - askbox trick or treat for Oct 2024

#pac fanart - art of The Creature

#translation - transcriptions of images

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If you actually scrolled down this far, have a fun, exciting, and inconclusive list of beings I would be down to smash:

•Stain (MHA)

•Overhaul (MHA)

•EVA-01 (NGE)

•EVA-02 (NGE)

•Xue Yang (MDZS)

•Kurloz Makara (Homestuck)

•Mothman

•Bigfoot

•u1146 (Cells At Work)

•The S.Q.U.i.P. (Be More Chill)

•Moder (The Ritual)

•Michael Myers (Halloween, especially RZ's version)

•Demon Drop (Intamin Freefall, 1st gen)

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Happy World Sleep Day! 

World Sleep Day is an annual event where people all over the world celebrate the importance of good sleep. Many people find it difficult to get the number of hours that they’d need. There are enough other things in our busy schedules that demand our time: school/work, household chores and errands, time for family/friends/partners, hobbies… sleep may seem like an easy thing to cut down on to make more time for other things. But getting enough sleep is essential for your physical and mental health! 

Why is sleep so important? Young people (teenagers and young adults) need between 8 and 10 hours of sleep per night in order to feel and function their best. Here are just a few reasons why:

During sleep, your body works to repair  tissues and organs. Getting enough sleep has been linked to a lower risk of many health conditions, including diabetes and heart disease. 

Sleep helps you consolidate memories and learn more effectively.

Sleep is important for your immune system, helping to keep you healthy and ward off illness.

Sleep is important for your mental health as well. Lack of sleep has been linked to mood disorders such as depression and anxiety.

Sleep deprivation can lead to decreased alertness, reaction time, and decision-making ability, making it more likely for accidents and injuries to occur. 

Improving your sleep habits can take time and effort, but the benefits are well worth it. Here are a few tips to help you get started:

Establish a regular sleep schedule: Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time every day, even on weekends.

Avoid electronics before bed: The blue light emitted by smartphones, tablets, and laptops can interfere with your body's natural sleep-wake cycle. Try to avoid using electronics for at least an hour before bed.

Create a sleep-friendly environment: Make sure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool. Use blackout curtains, earplugs, or white noise if necessary.

Practice relaxation techniques: Try deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation to help you unwind and fall asleep more easily. You’ll find instructions online! 

Avoid caffeine: Try to limit your intake of coffee, soda and energy drinks, especially in the afternoon and evening.

Get regular exercise: Regular physical activity can help you fall asleep more easily and improve the quality of your sleep.

It's easy to get caught up in our busy lives and neglect our sleep, but by making small changes to our routines, we can improve the quality of our rest and feel better both physically and mentally.

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[laughtalelogs]

modern aus - strawhats✧₊⁺

I have a lot of little ideas that are too small of details to write an entire fic about, so here are some of my ideas! I'll keep updating this list over time with more strawhats!

Luffy

okay, I agree slightly with Oda

Luffy being a firefighter would make absolute sense

I don't think much about his family and home life would change

but, I think it would change after suddenly going viral, from a video Usopp took of him and posted online.

He'd become an internet sensation overnight

He'd be like Snoop Dogg, Markiplier, or Steve Irwin

just always everywhere that you least expect him and always incredibly wholesome

headlines constantly are like, is Luffy crashing the met gala? Luffy finds woman missing for 17 years! Luffy opens an animal sanctuary in Madagscar. Luffy cancellation ongoing after saying "For sure, I'd hit a woman," sources say. Luffy found in Antarctica, "It really is cold here!" Details inside.

Sometimes people will ask does he actually ever firefight or-? 

loves streaming horror games with Usopp, Chopper, Zoro, Sanji, Law, and Ace. sometimes the others join, but it's mainly them.

is a food reviewer on the side, but he'll always give it a good rating like Guy Fieri

either you love him, or you hate him, he's still a household name and there's no escaping his influence.

but he doesn't really care about all that stuff, anyway. 

Nami 

Main professions: travel influencer, and amateur meteorologist.

Side professions: Luffy’s financial advisor and lesbian icon

probably has one of those million follower Instagram pages where she posts mainly candid shots of her and Vivi and their travels shot with a digital camera

specifically, those aesthetic pics where her hair is covering her face, with a healthy amount of tasteful side boob

Sells Luffy's merch, takes 50% of the profit. 

Definitely sells those thousand dollar workshops on how to be a better a girl-boss and how to awaken your divine femininity

 but makes up for the scam since she donates it to children education programs.

During any severe weather storm, she can be found alerting people before any weather channel through social media and donates funds to relief programs

is working on an international weather alert system with Vivi.

has an account on the RealReal

Robin

I don't think she'd be an archeologist 

she'd be a doctor in anthropologist with a focus in revolution and social change that she completed as a child

went back to school for linguistics in her teens, and gained her first masters at 18.

polyglot

Teaches anthropology courses at her alma mater

Adopted Chopper and takes him with her to uni every day for his research study

has a lengthy criminal record

Met Luffy at a protest he thought was a parade and decided to join, have been friends ever since

Met Franky during her undergrad for linguistics while he was studying engineering.

they bonded over both being youngest in their departments, just two delinquents that were too smart for their own good

I just know she loves her a good purple velvet couch, a nice dark red, TJ Maxx, and classic horror

Her Goodreads and Letterbox’d is god tier too

Is the one who coordinates hang out times in the group chat

Pulitzer prize winner

collects sonny angels

[kamimarroco]

A story where Ren suddenly starts chatting with you because he apparently cares about you staying up late at night. Not reviewed, may undergo corrections in the future.

Words: 1100+

“are you still awake?”

The vibration of your phone and the appearance of a notification startled you, almost making you drop the device. You looked closely at the top left corner of the screen and saw the time.

It is currently 2:35 in the morning.

People at this time are usually sleeping, and those who aren't are probably sorting out work issues or are insomniacs.

You didn't fit into either of them, since your irregularity was due to the fact that you were too stubborn.

A shame, really.

You didn't stand on ceremony and immediately clicked on the notification, being taken to the chat with an unknown person.

Well, not really an unknown person... Looking more carefully, your sleepy mind managed to rationalize and recognize who you were talking to.

Oh, it's Ren.

“yea but dw, i'll go to sleep soon”

You immediately saw him start writing after receiving your message.

“are you sure? that doesn't sound honest to me. you've been online a lot lately”

How long exactly has he been watching you to say that? Sure, it's possible to see when your profile is online because of the app's settings, but it makes you wonder if he's been watching you all this time.

“have you been watching me online?”, you ask without hesitation.

You feel him give a slight chuckle from the other side of the screen.

“haha maybe. but don't get me wrong, you really do spend a lot of time awake at night, and that makes me a lil worried”

You're torn between finding his statement strange or acknowledging your not-so-healthy habit. It's true, you're weird, anyone would find it at least slightly worrying that you spend so much time online in the early hours of the morning.

“and what about you? you are also online right now at this very moment”, you retort back, anxiety consuming you as you wait for his response.

He would be considered a hypocrite for finding your habit troubling if he does the exact same thing.

“i have a very valid reason for that. my routine makes me stay awake at night and sleep in the morning or afternoon”

Now you feel an arrow hitting right in the middle of your heart. Sure, of course he would have a good reason to be awake at this hour.

You are the only odd one out in this situation.

“i'm sorry about that, i felt defensive about my habit being called out”, you apologized, worried that your words had come across as rude to him.

“that's alright. it's 2:42 am, no hard feelings”

You felt relieved that he didn't resent your words, despite knowing that they did not convey the same intonation as in real life.

you're thinking too much (or too little), your emotions are starting to eat you up.

“but i still think you should sleep”, he sent a second message.

You felt like a child being scolded by your father, being called out for your unhealthy behavior. You felt your cheeks flush and shame enter your system.

“i already told you, i'll sleep soon”, even if he doesn't notice, you felt like a sullen child trying to explain yourself.

“wheeen?”

“by the holy of god Ren, i'm not some kind of child”, you felt the need to say his nickname (name?) for the first time, trying to emphasize your slight irritation.

This time it took him a while to answer you, seeming to process the fact that you called him by his name. You felt judged in some way for this, thinking that maybe you weren't close enough to call him that.

when did you get so soft? is it sleep that's making you think too much?

Just as you were about to text him an apology, he interrupted you.

“i know that, i just worry about you”, his message warmed your heart in a way you couldn't imagine.

That's… sweet of him. Worrying about you even though you two are just strangers on the internet who bump into each other every now and then.

Are you falling in love?

“i appreciate ur concern, but i know what i'm doing”

No, you don't.

He sent you a picture of a fox with one eyebrow raised, appearing to doubt your certainty.

That brought out a genuine laugh you didn't know you were holding back.

you're leaving yourself vulnerable around him.

“aaaw what a cutie fox!! <3”, you said, referring to the image received.

“it really is! do you like foxes?”

“yea i like them! they are cute and fluffy and i honestly feel like hugging them”

For a while, Ren seemed to forget the fact that you were awake and kept talking to you about random, unrelated topics. Neither of them really had any connection with the other, but one thing led to another.

You noticed how easy it is to talk to him. He has a fluid oratory and is always making associations with other things he knows.

You found yourself incredibly interested and captivated in the conversation you suddenly began having with this stranger.

is this a red flag? shouldn't you be more concerned about a sudden approach?

When you looked at the time on your phone, you realized it was already 3:56 am, almost four in the morning.

Jesus, did you really spend that much time talking to him?

Feeling the tiredness consume you completely, you (finally) felt it was time to let your body have some much-needed rest.

“hey i know we're still talking, but it's almost four in the morning…”, you began delicately, not wanting to give him the wrong idea that you didn't want to talk anymore.

why are you so concerned about what he thinks, in the first place?

“i don't want to let our conversation end here, so i thought we could continue it another time”

Nonono, stop this, you're falling into his trap

“i'm sorry about this, my body is really screaming for sleep”

You idiot.

Ren analyzed your messages a bit before giving a proper response.

“awe that's alright! i really wanted u to sleep in the first place, and i feel kind of guilty that i did a bad job xd”

“keeping u awake and everything”

You felt guilty for him feeling guilty because it wasn't his fault in the first place! You were the idiot who decided to stay up at night, so the damage was already done.

“nonono u didn't! i was the dumb one for staying awake until now”

“i really enjoyed our conversation tbh”

You sent it and already felt your eyelashes getting heavy.

“hehe me too! i look forward to our next conversations”

“but now u really need to sleep, so pls don't stay up too long <3”

Silly little guy. He really gets you, doesn't he?

You felt happy that you had at least met someone during your time awake at night.

[urfavoritesecretadmirer]

Stuff that would get us fake claimed bc this trend is so amazing in my eyes

(And no I'm not asking to get fake claimed bc apparently I'm not allowed to make jokes)

High alter count

We don’t have an exact number, but our overall estimation is pretty high (not in the thousands but yk 100-150).

Not being able to control switches

We can’t control when we switch but it’s usually in stressful/negative situations. We also can’t control who takes front.

Alter variety

Istg, people are weird when it comes to alter variety. It’s always “oh your alters are all similar? Fake!!” Or “oh your alters are all very different? Fake!!” Our system has a lot of variety.

Has a TikTok account

“Omg, a system with social media?! Fake!!” Believe it or not, we only started our TikTok in late June of last year. We’ve known we are a system since way before that. So yes, systems can have TikTok accounts. Because I guarantee there are thousands of systems on TikTok who are not open to being a system that you will never know about.

Posts about system stuff

Damn, I didn’t know it was illegal for systems to be open about being a system. I didn’t know my literal existence, labels I choose to use, etc were taking away from the “real systems”. My apologies, Mr/ms high and mighty ceo of Reddit moderation as your 9-5.

Has simply plural

“Omg an app for systems?! And you’re using it?! As a system?! Fake!!” I’m not allowed to use one of the few useful apps that can log switches, keep track of members, send messages, help you meet other systems, make polls, make your layout look pretty if you want, etc without getting fakeclaimed. It’s almost like it’s an app for systems, and systems use it. Shocker.

Uses pluralkit

“A system using a meaningful way of communication and another good way to keep track of members?! Fake!!” Apparently redditors think that pluralkit worsens amnesia barriers and derealization. Is this true?? If so tell me, but it doesn’t happen for us. Because obviously, I’m not fronting all the time. How am I supposed to feel derealization if I’m not there?? Also it’s not like our main account profile is by default the host. Our user has <3 and our systag in the name for christs sake.

Goes to school

I know, shocker, I have a life. I’m not physically incapable of having an education as a system. And believe it or not, I have decent grades too. Systems are traumatized, not stupid (directed at that one boy at my old school).

Doesn’t want final fusion

Excuse you, but this system has been here for me and has been around since I was five (I think). I’ve only now fully accepted the fact I’m a system. I think it’d be a bit rude to just say “alr you can go now” like I don’t wanna be alone tf.

Introjects

We ain’t Introject heavy, but ig even having two introjects makes you fake. This may be a shocker, but it’s more common to have other disorders alongside DID/OSDD than to not. This, and again, this may be a shocker, but it includes ADHD and autism.

In sys relationships

Me, the host, has personally never been in an in-sys relationship. But I think in our system there’s like, two? And then there’s a lot of ‘it’s complicated’ or ‘situationship’.

Decent communication

Obviously, it could be better, but we overall have decent and healthy ways of communicating with each other. Usually it’s talking out loud or leaving little notes.

Alter intros

Because apparently it’s a crime against being neurodivergent to share about your alters. We obviously can’t share everything for obvious reasons but we want yall to get to know us.

DNI alters

This may be a hard pill to swallow, but DNI doesn’t always mean the alter is some dangerous monster. It can mean that alter is too little to be online, it could mean that alter is a social anxiety symptom holder, it could mean that alter just doesn’t like talking to people outside the system/at all. These are just a few examples. Or maybe, that alter just doesn’t wanna be fuckin interacted with. But these alters should still be acknowledged. Why? Because healing is a thing. Locking them away isn’t healthy. Maybe they want people to know not to interact with them. But noooo, all DNI alters are awful people apparently.

Other mental health disorders

We have anxiety and depression (diagnosed and genetic), medically recognized ADHD, and tics. And yes, all of our alters have tics because it's caused by your brain and we share the same brain.

[prince-of-petrichor]

i've experienced this same type of thing with other conditions of mine, but for some reason this one hurt a lot. and i wanted to share for anyone else that is going through the same thing.

lately i've been trying to work on coping with OCD symptoms that have been becoming more debilitating due to some current life stressors, and i've actually been managing really well. but, when you have multiple illnesses (mental or physical), and you put a lot of focus on one of them, symptoms of something else can start to crop up.

and so i noticed that my AvPD was starting to get worse. im isolating, and feeling like everything i do will be seen as stupid, selfish, or attention seeking. but i've found that opposite action helps the most in these situations, and that in truth i probably do actually need some attention right now, as i haven't been socializing very much. which yes, even us with SzPD/AvPD, are social creatures who need some level of human interaction.

and so i took to the trusty internet for advice on healthy ways to ask for attention. but sadly, whether i focused the search to AvPD or to just avoidant/shy behavior in general, i couldn't manage to find any tips or resources for those of us that *are* avoidant, only for how to deal with us.

so here are a few tips for anyone else that's struggling with avoidant behavior/AvPD*:

Take deep breaths before asking for help/attention (this helps activate our parasympathetic nervous system so we can feel safer while we do this)

Tell the people that you trust exactly what's going on and how they can help (for example, today I went to my mom and said "I am really struggling today with wanting to isolate because I don't feel like anything I do is right. I am feeling really irritable because of this, please spend some time with me today, but understand that I may be short/grumpy to start." this type of dialogue can be really difficult when you have alexithmyia, but i promise with practice it gets easier)

Take a break from social media (when you're already struggling with poor self image, it's really hard to not make twisted comparisons to those we see online, give yourself some time away from screens to recenter and remind yourself of your value)

Opposite action (I mentioned this earlier but it can look like many different things. For example: doing things you know will be beneficial to your mental health despite feelings of anhedonia like playing video games/making art, asking for help despite the anxiety that tells you not too, or spending time with friends despite wanting to isolate more)

*note that these tips come from my personal lived experience, and I am not a medical professional.

[novelconcepts]

There are a lot of Worst Things about depression. Everybody's got a different Worst Thing. Hell, I can't always decide on what my personal Worst Thing is. Sometimes it's the numb despair. Sometimes, it's the dumb animal panic. Most of the time, though, it's that there isn't enough room inside of me.

What I mean is: I care about too many things. I think that's pretty standard these days for a lot of people. Empathy stretched fine as gossamer. We see so much suffering each day. We see so much more than any one person was meant to. So you wind up caring, because caring is what a person is wired to do, what makes life worth living. You care about people you know. You care about people you've never met. You care about situations in countries you haven't set foot in. You care about the political climate of your own hometown. You care about your own dreams. You care about your best friend's bad luck. You care about your pets' health. You care about when the next book in your favorite series will come out. You care, and you care, and you care, because you're wired to care about it all. It's exhausting sometimes, but it's life. Sometimes the best part of life.

With depression, the caring space gets to feeling too full. Has packed tight, all those elements butting into one another until they lose meaning, the darkness threading into the gaps. There just isn't enough room inside of me for all the fear and the despair and the weird empty anger, much less the stuff that actually matters. So I start shorting out. Because, see, depression makes it so I can't care; don't see a point in even trying. And the real me, the part of me that isn't being cannibalized by the demons, doesn't know how to do anything else. So the middle ground becomes: shrink the caring space. Shrink it down bit by bit. All systems are running at once, and we're getting low on juice, so the natural thing is to start shutting off lights. Start jettisoning the extraneous to make room.

Except it's depression at the wheel, not common sense, so it's not just the extra flair getting turned off. Not the despair and the mind-numbing terror and the reckless urge to pick fights. The stuff that winds up getting tossed is stuff I need. Stuff that keeps me going. It's all being shut down at once, no rhyme or reason, until I suddenly can't care about the things that are me. Intrinsic, fabric-level stuff. I can't care about creating. About making art. About telling stories. I can't care about other people telling stories. I can't care about my friends the way I'm supposed to. I can't care about their travel or their kids or their wins. I can't care about making food for myself. I can't care about brushing my teeth. I'm shutting down to component parts, but I didn't get to pick which components are still running full-power, so I wind up with just a handful of randomly blinking lights. Suddenly, I care very much about my fear of the future, my financial insecurity, how fast I can run a 5K, a single television show--and just about nothing else.

It isn't healthy. It's sure as fuck not sustainable. And I know from experience that the rest of the system will come back online eventually. I'll find myself telling another story in a week or a month. I'll find myself sketching something out of nowhere. I'll find myself able to grieve a lost loved one and treasure my new nephew. It'll all come back, in time. But it's the in-between bit that grates. The bit where I'm in the shuttle with my knees tucked against my chest, sucking oxygen through a straw, trying to conserve whatever is still running. The bit where I resent the people in my life who aren't running on fumes like I am. Where I'm furious that they can care, that they can move freely, that they aren't pacing a minuscule cage like I am. It's a loss, all the months and years I've spent on life support. It's a fucking waste.

That's where I am right now. Life support. Little things get in, from time to time. I can suddenly inhale a book series start to finish. I can suddenly coax myself into eating the same thing for lunch for three weeks straight. Those are extra lights on the dash, and I have to treasure them. Because there isn't really room, so any little thing that I find space for is a gift. And everything else--talking. planning. trusting. creating. intake.--has to stay dark for a little while longer.

It'll come back on. I have to believe it'll come back on.

In the meantime, I hunker in my shuttle, and I wait.

[eatmangoesnekkid]

On Covid and the next thing coming 🪶🕊️🪽🪞🫀

I generally don't post about things like this on my blog but I also feel that it's important to name and square up on the monster and the future monsters to come. I am overjoyed that this kind of information is finally coming out about the vaccine. If you have some intuitive awareness, you, like me, probably felt that there was something not right about it. Personally there was no way on earth I was going to inject this vaccine toxin into my body even when people were trying to make unvaccinated people feel ashamed about our decisions, called us "selfish," and accused us of not looking out for vulnerable people. My goodness! We definitely need more Priestess women in the world and it's one thing I'm looking forward to about my online school and high-gated online temple space. People are going to have to remember how to trust those who can 'see' in the dark so that we can teach them how to access their seer qualities too or give them some deeper intelligence that will help them to make a more thoughtful decision. People whose mind have been trained on how to think and process information like in the medical, academic/higher education, social justice, corporate, leadership/managerial, or political system will especially need support, alongside any other people who have worked for long hours and haven’t had the time, resources, space, or ease to open up their minds to different ways of thinking and sensing beyond the programming and conditioning. In other words, those who have lived a lot of their life and lifetimes being busy, in their heads or behind computers, will especially need support.

There are many cases of people who died right after being vaccinated or developed neurological disorders when they were perfectly healthy before. It's fucked up how many well-meaning people were trying to force people like me to get vaccinated against our better judgment on how to care for our bodies and the bodies of our love ones. When this kind of evil happen again, or something similar that may not be related to a vaccine but something else, we do not need to separate and point fingers at each other like children but to come together as divine humans. People have learn to trust those of us who have deeper intuitive gifts, and not merely blindly hand their trust over to the government and do whatever they tell them to do to their body. Because most things on the news have an agenda that doesn't support the health and wellness of any of us. And whatever narrative the government and status quo culture is pushing is usually not healthiest option. Education on how to build up the quality and frequency of the immune system is the Priestess path.

If you want to elevate in your female tissues, whatever the government says begin to question it and in most cases, do the opposite. What I hope people take away from experience is the need to wake up and become more aware of the slick manipulation that is coming down the pipeline in the future. If you are still listening to everything in the news and not listening to your own mystical female body, you will never be sovereign and autonomous enough to find real solutions outside the oppressive inhumane structures we have been taught to perceive are on our side.

Never forget that they are more likely than not NOT advocating for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your loved ones. *The only exception to this would be an elderly or immune-compromised person in your family who really feels that they need to be vaccinated. Some people need to be vaccinated and that vaccination will be helpful to their wellbeing. Do not fight against what is living in a person‘s mind i.e. reality because it will be what they need to be well/better and more relaxed and calm, although you may feel differently about your own body.

I know we won’t see the totality of the effects of this vaccine for years to come, but what’s also true is that everyone is different and some won’t be adversely effected at all. If you were vaccinated, do not feel shame or guilt. Unchecked or unresolved frequencies of shame or guilt comprises the wellbeing of the body. Instead talk to your body. Ask/decree it to break up and dissolve the vaccine out of your nervous system and tissues. People often say you won't receive if you don't “ask.” I find the opposite is true. Asking can leak away a helluva lot of energy…like people who beg when they pray. I find that when I say NO to nearly everything, and make a clear decree on what I expect to happen, blessings come POURING and LEAKING IN because the universe that within us all finally realizes that I will neither be played with; nor am I playing.

Sweating and opening up the body’s detoxification pathways in other ways can also help. Many people are mentally unwell for many different reasons and their state of mind informs why they ‘see’ and the choices they make. A parasite cleanse will greatly help to open up your mind to trigger more mental clarity and access your God energy, intuitive qualities. Build heaven on earth around you—this is the purpose of true beauty. If you can not build it, begin to imagine it. Attract a lover and/or friend you can experience an amplified heaven on earth energy with. Source money and resources in ways that amplify your heaven. If you can’t, imagine what it would be like to do so. -India Ame'ye, AUthor

ETA: While I didn’t personally need any confirmation, Mama Delores affirmed my words. Consciously speaking to different parts of my body everyday is part of my spiritual practice. My most spoken to parts are my breasts which I imagine is the reason I feel so much love effortlessly around being alive at this time. 🥰🫀❤️

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[pharisee-son]

About me.

I'm new here and still figuring out Tumblr. But someone helped me out, and I realized Tumblr is actually a pretty decent platform. I liked it, and I appreciated its vibe. Maybe this is the right place for me—a little corner of the internet to call my own.

I'd like to share my drawings, lore, and photos here. To connect with people, find other SCP fans, and maybe finally write some roleplay. I hope that someone will appreciate what I create—it would encourage me to keep going. I also want to learn new things, work on my insecurities, and interact with people online just like I do in real life.

The lore I’m building revolves around the “Old Reality,” a project I’ve been working on for 4–5 years. It’s a part of the SCP universe, and the main character of this story is my persona, Dr. D. Patch. It’s my copying mechanism. Because of that, it can be potentially triggering, containing psychological horror, religious and sexual trauma, toxic relationships, gore, body horror, and other heavy themes. My goal isn’t to romanticize these topics—that’s not healthy. I’ll be sharing parts of my work here, and I don’t mind answering polite questions about it.

(Remember that cringe culture is dead!)

On this platform, Tumblr I think I'll just be myself, sometimes RP as my persona. Do arty stuff, make friends - shits and giggles. And sometimes be more serious - learn to draw better, help others if they want it. This blog is "My Diary".

When talking to me, approach with respect. Treat me as a person with thoughts and feelings. Don’t trigger me intentionally. Honesty and questions mean everything to me, and the words "please", "thank you", "sorry" are basic manners, even if it’s just the internet.

If you think I'm problematic/doing something wrong - tell me about it in a polite way + what I can change. I don't intend to hurt anyone with my behavior or be mean. Additionally, being aggressive, unforgiving towards me is a huge trigger for me, so try to avoid it (If it affected me, I'll just be very quiet.).

My profile is a safe space for people of all religions, races, queer, MOGAI, alterhumans, systems, and agere. If I don’t understand something, you’re welcome to explain it to me.

However, toxic individuals such as; misandrists, misogynists, all kinds of incels, "nice guys" & "nice girls" , TERFs, transmedicalists, fatphobes, homo-/trans-/-intersex/queer-/xenophobes, bigots, racists, fascists, religious extremists, fanatics, or anyone pushing hateful ideologies are not welcome here. The same goes for people who are judgmental, edgy, aggressive, mean, or who come here to complain, harass, or insult without offering constructive criticism (when I specifically ask for it).

I primarily speak Polish, but this blog will be in English. I use a translator and might make mistakes since I’m still learning. My DMs are open—feel free to invite me to servers, share your art, lore, or just chat. You can even vent and treat me as a friend. I consider myself quite sociable and enjoy conversations. I don’t ghost or block people without giving a reason first. I’m most active on Discord, and my username there is: “pharisee_son.”

Oh, and my commissions are open. I mostly draw for Polish clients (I’m not sure how to accept payment from abroad). My prices are affordable, and I let the buyer decide the value of my work. I’m also open to art trades with anyone. I mainly draw character designs, references, redesigns, or corrections. However, I struggle with poses and perspective. Still, I’m good at rendering, coloring, and coming up with ideas. I can draw different types of characters, though elderly ones might be more challenging for me. I have no issues drawing furries. Please don’t ask me to draw fetish art, but gore is okay. During a commission, I need to stay in constant contact and will ask many questions. You’ll send me references and guide me on how you want the work done. This helps me feel more confident, and you’ll get what you’re looking for. I’m not a professional artist.

I use he/him pronouns, my chosen name is Dante, and I’m a trans man. I’m 18 years old. I’ve never used substances and am generally against them. I live in the countryside with my beloved aunt, and I spend my days working on the farm or pursuing my hobbies. My fashion style leans towards punk, and my room is filled with a collection of taxidermy, dried plants, and old books. The bad things that happened to me in the past are behind me now, and I’m trying to enjoy life. I am in recovery. As for my diagnoses, oh golly, I don’t know, but – my medical records are a mess (Medical neglect).

I am here thanks to @banesberry-anomoly :D

Last update: 30.12.2024

[ochajima]

🍵🍊 ABOUT OCHA ISLAND 🍊🍵

Ocha is a secluded little island, but that doesn't mean it's lonely! The history of the island dates back a long ways, and not all of it's very clear, but it seems to be a hot spot to be, with plenty of new people and (animals alike) making their way out to call it their home!

Join us as we take you on a little tour of what you can find on our humble little island!

🌐 You can also visit my Carrd! 🌐

CODES

Creator: MA-4043-1093-6392

Dream: Working on it!

HHN: RA-5187-9042-9378

🎨 View designs catalogued from Ocha!

📸 View photos taken of Ocha!

EXPLORE THE SCENERY

Ocha has some neat little spots to explore, let's see a few of the most noteworthy locations to stop by on your visit!

The bridge is the only way to get across the river to the other side of the island. The view of the ocean is breathtaking and if you get hungry you can buy yourself a snack from the vendor that's set up shop on it. It's been said that if you head here in the middle of summer and see shooting stars with someone at midnight, you're meant to be together forever!

The playground is where all the cool kids hang out during the night (and during the day, of course). Built between the old hospital, the shrine, and the festival grounds, it's a perfect spot to spend a warm summer day! Someone even said they found a super rare trading card under the slide once!

The shrine is the absolute highest point on the entire island. A serene atmosphere surrounds the grounds and instills a sense of safety and an unrivaled calm. It's worth it to take a trip up the steps every day, even if it's just to feel young and healthy!

The graveyard is somewhere off in the northeast, right outside the oldest building on the island: the old abandoned mansion. The grounds that surround the mansion, including the graveyard, carry a dreadful sense of unease and who knows what else? It's not recommended to head beyond the signs that rest a little beyond the campground, but that doesn't stop unlucky visitors from testing their courage...

MEET THE RESIDENTS

Ocha is home to some pretty quirky characters, too! Why don't we meet some of the people you'll see around while you're here?

☆ 22 | She/Her | Lucky Dreamer ☆

Airy is a super lucky young woman who happened to win the lottery! Having decided it would be a good time for a fresh start, she purchased a big house on an old island and moved out there with her younger cousin. Enjoying the peaceful air, she makes the trip across the island to climb the stairs of the shrine every day!

☆ 18 | She/Her | Internet Enthusiast ☆

Fizz is a bit of an odd ball who made the move from the city out to the island with her older cousin! She's not very good at managing her money, she's a little sloppy, and she spends a lot of time online or playing games. Having a somewhat weak immune system, the girl also seems to always have a cold, but she's doing just fine!

☆ 20 | She/Her | Rain-Soaked Figure ☆

Hasumi was a worker at the old hospital on the island, where it's been said a tragedy occurred some years ago. Not much is really known about her, but if you're brave enough (or some would say foolish enough) to enter the building, you might catch a glimpse of her figure wandering about! Be careful not to listen to what she says, or you might end up like all the others...

☆ 19 | She/Her | Twin's Sentiment ☆

Hanako is said to have lived on the island long, long ago, back when things were a little... different. The abandoned mansion on the other side of the island is home to rather bizarre and unnerving secrets. If you head out that way, you should be careful, because you never know what lurks around the corner...

Something catch your eye?

As you can see, there's a lot going on here on Ocha, from exciting date spots to eerie hauntings, and so much more that we haven't covered!

The island shines brightest in the middle of summer! Plan your visits accordingly and witness the majesty of lush nature!

Catch the summer sun...

Book a stay on Ocha Island today!

[visiblenostalgia]

Pluto in Aquarius Resource Pack:

I don't know who needs to hear these, but I think it's best to have these things as of late when concerning the transition into Pluto in Aqua. If AI is increasingly running the show, we must go back to our human ways in order for us to keep ourselves sane. These are but some of the tools I have in stock to help us through it, and I thought I might share. They may become very useful down the line if the internet becomes far more decentralized and local.

(EDIT AS OF 12/12/2024 (gasp! angel number day!)) My request: reshare this and link it to whoever needs it most or is inspired by it most. I think this may help to soothe some stresses and woes. My viewers and those that come across this post are my most important people. Thank you for also seeing my stuff as per usual and give me a follow for more if you're interested (even if I may repost some gravity falls stuff so if you're also keen on that, keep a looskie out for it). I'm so happy I'm making a reach with my stuff and I want to continue. Pluto in Aqua has lit a fire under my ass for content related to it and I hope to be a sort of 'lax-messenger about it to my peeps on the web. Y'all are amazing and thank you for the support!

more under the cut

Literature...

Some books to help you gradually ease into this collective shake up:

Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism (and Slow Productivity) Might I suggest using these texts to help you navigate this digital dark time. One to use for digital regression and one for staying sane in your WFH space.

The Transcendent Brain: Spirituality in The Age of Science by Alan Lightman This one was a quick pick that I channeled while at work. Haven't read it yet, but it poses a good disposition to the Pluto in Aqua transit for some odd intuitive reason.

Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino It's an anthology that describes to us what the algorithmic design of social media does to its people -- and women namely. If you want a book to capture your attention and also somewhat be part of a send-off to Neptune in Pisces next year, this will be a perfect book to look at.

7 Habits Collection (Of highly effective people and highly effective teens -- Sean & Stephen R. Covey) If you're looking to game up your humanity skills, whether younger or older (both are good refresh books), take a good gander at each for reference. May help you out more than good due to the Saturnian nature of Aquarius.

Originals: How Non-Conformists Move The World by Adam Grant If you're stuck on your capability to innovate, or have art block like a motherfucker, this is a book for those in need of a motivational boost for this Pluto Transit. Highly recommend!

Liberalism And It's Discontents by Francis Fukuyama Knowing that political systems have started to fall apart (communism, capitalism and many others), then this is a good place to start giving yourself ideas on what to support or what parties to make (if you're a political science major, PLEASE read Fukuyama's work I beg you). The systems that we've seen historically do not work anymore. We have to innovate whether we like it or not. Save the nostalgia for culture and at-home indulgences. Involving it with politics kills a system.

Robert Greene's 'The Daily Laws': 366 Meditations on Power, Seduction, Mastery, Strategy, and Human Nature There's an entry a day within this book. The author recommends to read it EVERY DAY. Introspection is also healthy under this Pluto in Aqua transit. You must do so from a detached perspective in order to be successful. If you missed at least 3 days or however many, read however many you've missed. A good challenge for every year. Easy new year's resolution goal or just a good routine add on that shouldn't take you more than 10 minutes to do.

Websites...

Some places online to get you in those smaller, private networks

When it comes to spacehey, you'll find things you'd never be able to on that site. I mainly use mine for blogging books I've read and cooking stuff. I'm in a mom-blogging era put it this way (I'm an auntie of two, a niece and a new half-great-nephew. I love my position in life right now).

P.O.I. (points of interest) concerning Neocities:

In searching by tag: searchengine, japanese, 90s, 2000s, comic, (insert big city name here)

There is a bunch. If y'all want me to make a monthly newsletter on neocities websites and what I've found, i guess i can make another blog for it so I can post my findings there. Keep a look out!

use in tandem with what you've learned from Cal Newport's Slow Productivity

Entertainment...

For those going the economic route:

ROKU's & any true 'FREE Tv Streaming service' available. Good to have these in economically strife-d times.

Ofc YouTube being close second. (not yt. premium)

(START WATCHING LONG FORM CONTENT YALL)

Not to also mention: If you have a video game system that still takes discs for content (like the PS4 and Xbox 360/ONE), you can convert them into a DVD streaming platform. If not that, it's already enabled, start collecting/owning some content of your own. Go to the thrift shops. Go to the supermarket and look for the analog option. Shop eBay. Go on Etsy. ANALOG FTW

If you're going for anything news based, consider also going for newspapers -- make going for a newspaper cool again! Even better if it's local or independent!

SHOPPING:

ofc go for reuseable bags. use the coupon deals at the stores. read the coupons that the cashier gives you and see what you can do with them. tax exemptions don't count sadly enough. get a Costco membership and shop in bulk (still, remember the economic options of going for those deals)

side topic: FOOD & COOKING:

opt for making your own cookbooks and write them somewhere that can be looked back on when you get the chance. It's always useful to have something like that on hand. That way you and neither your family forget the recipes that brought you together.

In a sense:

Stick it to the big man and go for the cheaper, less expensive option (and stick to them)

Learn skills on your own terms

Read, Read, Read, Learn, Learn, Learn

Turn off your phone and laptop, keep them in the office (unless your phone IS the alarm) and opt for the Television or a piece of paper.

Connect with gaming in a communal or skill-based sense. Go for card games. Daily newspaper games too. Think northernlion when he does various trivia games online.

Pluto in Aqua may yet have more in store for us, but in current times, this seems to be (to what I think) is best for us.

Rely on your community, rely on yourself. The world is an infinitely chaotic place, but so as long as we have one another, we'll make it through.