#or just forced out entirely
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Being reassured that I won't be replaced over and over again just to be replaced the moment I get comfortable
I know I have to be the problem, but why isn't there a solution that isn't just to be someone else, because I've tried and it doesn't work
#please don't reblog#it just makes me so upset#like i feel so fucking lied to but i can't express it to anyone because I'll just be called immature and childish and I'll be ignored#or just forced out entirely#i just can't fucking win no one wants me around unless I'm just in the background#I'm only ever wanted if I'm more a piece of scenery than i am a person#and i know every bit of how i feel would be invalidated because god forbid i feel something about how I'm treated#because if i say I'm hurt then I'm just being selfish and annoying and not letting anyone else be happy#but why is it that everyone's happiness must be defended but mine? why is it that i just don't matter?#what did i do wrong to deserve this? why me?#i know I'm not special but it seems like there's something fundamentally wrong with me that makes everyone not want to me around me#i try to do everything right and be as good as i can but nothing i ever do will ever be enough#I was just born a failure in every way and I'll die that way alone forgotten and unmourned#my body will be found a month later when someone gets needs me to play errand-boy and they get mad that I'm not texting back#no one will even notice until they find my rotting desecrated body cold and alone like how I've lived my entire life#personal#vent#depression#anxiety#suicidal
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If I saw a nutcracker nobody could stop me
#I don't know what's happening to me I usually draw only my own characters this is scary. Unprecedented behavior from me.#beebfreeb art tag#ms paint#lethal company#lethal company nutcracker#My wifi has been going out regularly so I haven't actually been able to play in a bit autism taking over controlling me or whatever.#I hear that metal clunking I hear that 400+ lb footsteps I giggle and twirl my cables like hair. I don't know. What are your pronouns ba-#*I am kicked with incredible force and slam into a wall which destroys my spinal cord and many of my bones as well.*#Something about it makes me put my entire soul into shading#Because it is just so darn cutes *coughing up blood*#nutcracker#lethal company fanart
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after my friends expressed horror watching professional hockey player nathan mackinnon spray suncreen straight in the face, i'm actually curious...
#like... i do this all the time.......#i've done it my entire life#my friends were like we support you but that’s not how people normally do it though#and i was like... is the nozzle not there so you can whip the can out and just rawdog it? and the sting is part of the experience#(anyway… force of habit. i still do it now even though i’ve been told that’s apparently not the way)#polls#needed to reupload this because formatting problems#poll#nathan mackinnon#sidney crosby#pittsburgh penguins#colorado avalanche#hockey#nhl
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been working all day, have some Bois!
#i was initially drawing a ghostsoap piece earlier but i didn't like how it turned out?? so i drew these instead#besides.... spent the entire day working on comms!! but i missed drawing my bois!!! me thinks i deserve to draw them FOR ME!!!!#also im sleepy now.. didn't get a full 8hrs earlier ahuhu#just gonna finish up eating my mango tart and imma head to bed zzzzzzzzzz#my art#2024#call of duty#call of duty: modern warfare#call of duty: modern warfare ii#call of duty: modern warfare iii#cod#cod mw#cod mwii#cod mwiii#modern warfare#mw#mw2#mw3#task force 141#tf141#tf 141#141#gaz cod#ghost cod#soap cod#kyle gaz garrick#johnny soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#simon riley#soap mactavish
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the convoluted doctor who lore gets extra funny when you realize that, at two separate points in the past, two different companions to two different doctors ended up running into rasputin but both came to the conclusion that he was a pretty nice and normal guy. which, depending on how you interpret the power of the doctor, is either a nice subversion of a lot of tropes of stories used in pre-soviet russia, or side-splittingly hilarious as you start imagining the master getting roped into various adventures with different versions of the doctor that he can’t fuck with yet or else he’ll destroy the timeline, forcing him to play nice with the humans as part of his 4D Time Chess Master Disguise Plan #3852
#doctor who#rasputin#in case you’re wondering the companions were#ian chesterton#liz shaw#and#jo grant#who kept explicitly making references to the master throughout the story#but wait it gets better#at one point it was proposed to make a story with this one time lord called the meddling monk#who just decides to start fucking around with the timeline and forces rasputin to listen to boney m#but apparently this actually drives rasputin to the brink on insanity and destroys the entire timeline#forcing the monk to regenerate into rasputin to take his place and live out his life#and that’s why he decided to go by the monk#it was never technically canonized but could you imagine the mindfuck#you have a time lord impersonating another time lord impersonating a normal guy who may or may not have actually existed in the whoniverse#who even knows at this point#the untempered schism didn’t drive the master mad it was a funky disco beat#grigori rasputin#dhawan!master
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Wyll seems to be the only companion who intentionally and repeatedly uses the mindflayer tadpole to communicate. I did a quick search through the dialogue files and the only other instance I found was at the beginning of Act I, when Lae'zel is captured by the tieflings, she'll use the tadpole to demand you free her.
And yet, Wyll is one of the companions most against using the tadpole's powers. Arguably, I'd say he's more against it than anyone save for Lae'zel. Which is why I find it so interesting that out of all of companions, Wyll is the one to latch onto and make use of this facet of the tadpole's powers.
The first time Wyll can use the tadpole is when Mizora bids him to rescue Zariel's asset. If the Player succeeds on their perception check, they can bargain with Mizora to free Wyll from his pact. Wyll link his mind with the Player's Character in panic, demanding to know "What are you doing?"
Then again when Wyll is finally reunited with his father, he uses the tadpole to show his father why he pacted with Mizora. Instead of explaining in his own words, he shows him the cultists as they attempt to summon Tiamat into Baldur's Gate. He'll do the same for the Player Character if his father isn't saved, even when he is freed from his pact and could say it in his own words. If the PC refuses to let Wyll show them, he will explain it, but clearly prefers to use the tadpole.
Finally, Wyll will also use the tadpole to bid farewell if he has a falling out with the player character, telling the player "Godspeed, and may your journey be true."
For Wyll, who had spent the last seven years under a devil's thumb, this narrative choice to use the tadpoles to communicate is telling. One thing all of these scenes have in common is that they all emotionally charged moments. They are also moments in which, in my opinion, it is very important for Wyll to convey his sincerity. Wyll has spent the last seven years always dancing around the truth and now here comes along a power where not only can he tell the truth, he can show the truth as he sees it, so that there is much less risk of being misunderstood. A power like that has to be irresistible.
Just another thing I wish was explored more in depth in game.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who pointed out instances when other characters also use the tadpoles to communicate <3
Turns out Wyll/Lae'zel's writer is the only one who bothered to use proper tagging in the dialogue system ('MINDMELD' if you're curious). This is why I can never find what I'm looking for in the dialogue files smh
#wyll ravengard#bg3 wyll#bg3 discourse#magpiediscourse#baldur's gate 3#I find it really interesting that as far as I could find only Wyll and Lae'zel ever use the tadpole to communicate#Since iirc they both have the same writer this makes a lot of sense#so why does no one else seem to use it?#like it can be a huge writing crutch obviously#No need to write out how someone explains something if they can just show it#but it's also hugely important narratively#the tadpoles are the entire driving force behind the plot#and yet so often they are largely ignored#so why is it that the two characters who would be most hesitant to use the tadpoles are the only two who do willingly use it to communicate#that seems like a missed opportunity by the other writers#also why isn't it an insight check? They have insight checks in BG3 right?#if I am missing anything I blame it on the poor organization of the dialogue files. They will be the death of me I swear
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The boy stops in his tracks. “I know you,” he says, tilting his head curiously. He’s not tall, but he’s regal nonetheless, dressed all in white. Something about him makes Leia’s hair stand on end, and although she hides it she feels a stirring in her own chest. I know you like I know my own soul, she thinks wildly, and wonders where it came from. Has she gone insane?
“That’s nice,” she says, and shoots him anyway.
He deflects it in a flash of light, a glowing blue laser sword appearing in his hand like magic. She’s only seen one of those before, and it’s Vader’s. If this boy is anything like Vader, she realizes, she’s in deep shit.
She’s smart enough to know when she’s outmatched. Leia makes the tactical decision to run for her life.
Later, as she’s getting the hell out of there, she wonders why he didn’t try to stop her.
She remembers being young and tugging on her mothers skirts, demanding to know why their guest was so sad. “Does he not like it here?” She’d asked, and then, trembling, because Kenobi always seemed saddest around her. “Is it…because of me?”
“Oh, Leia,” her mother sighed, lifting her into her arms. “It’s not that, I promise.”
“Then what is it?”
“Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, years ago.” Breha’s eyes grew deeper, darker. “It was not his fault, but he blames himself. You remind him of that child, that’s all.”
Leia had quieted at that, contemplative.
The next time she’d seen Master Kenobi, she had given him a hug. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so she resolved to give him more of them. “He’s lonely,” she’d told her mother. “No one should be lonely.”
Looking at Obi-Wan Kenobi now, the memory seemed so far away. He’d aged thirty years in the ten it had been.
He looks, Leia thinks with a small twinge of regret, very lonely.
“Leia,” he greets. “It’s been a long time.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Leia sees a glint of white.
Kenobi freezes in his tracks. “Luke?” He whispers, and through the distance Leia can hear it as if he’d been speaking directly into her ear.
Master Kenobi lost a child under his care, her mother whispers in her head. He blames himself.
In an instant, Leia understands everything.
Kenobi is still staring at the boy he’d lost so long ago when Vader cuts him down.
Later, as she’s pacing around on the Falcon to Han muttering darkly about Princesses and supernatural abilities, she rememberers the way the boy collapsed, as if all his strings had been cut. Vader was too occupied with him to even look at her as she shot at him desperately.
Luke. She hates him more than she hates herself.
“They know where you are,” he hisses frantically. “They’re coming for you. You have to run.”
“Wait!” Leia quickly pulls up their sonar. Nothing yet, but it would explain the distant queasiness she’d felt since they’d landed. She tended to trust her gut. “How do you know? How much time do we have?”
“Not important, and not enough,” he says. “I have to go, and so do you. You need to leave yesterday.”
“How do I know I can trust you? I don’t even know who you are.”
He pauses. “Call me Skywalker.”
“That’s not an answer, Skywalker.”
“Yes it is.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but there are faint voices on the other end, drawing nearer.
“Shit,” Skywalker mutters. “I have to go. I’ll be in contact, okay? Don’t ever tell me where you are, or where you’re heading. Vader and Palpatine aren’t shy about reading minds. Just leave as soon as you can, and figure out the rest.”
“But—“
It’s too late. The comm has disconnected.
She stares down at it, disbelieving. How would the Empire know they’re here? Why should she trust a stranger who somehow got her personal comm code?
Gut feeling or not, on paper this was a perfect location. Supplied, armored, and most importantly, extremely well hidden. There was no real reason to think it would possibly be found out.
It’s probably a trap. Almost definitely a trap.
Han sticks his head in the door, a sour look on his face. “Hey Princess, can you tell these idiots—“
She makes a decision then and there.
“We’re leaving.”
“What?”
“We’re evacuating, effective immediately.” She pushes past him, and he follows so close he’s nearly stepping on her heel.
“Why? I think it’s pretty cozy here. Actual sunlight doesn’t hurt, either.”
“Apparently too cozy.” She grabs the first person she sees, a pilot who stares at her with wide eyes. “Emergency evacuation. Spread the word to pack everything you can and leave, I’ll let you know where we’re headed when we’re in orbit.”
He salutes and scurries off.
“Woah, hey now.” Han snatches at her elbow until she turns around to face him. “What’s going on?”
“There’s a new informant. He told me the Empire knows we’re here. They’re coming for us.”
“And you trust this person because…”
“I don’t have a choice,” she snaps. Someone runs past them, holding three packs filled to the brim with rations. “It’s either he’s lying and we’re not in danger, or he’s telling the truth and we’re going to die if we don’t listen. It’s not exactly hard math.”
It could be a trap of course, but he hadn’t suggested any sort of direction or destination to follow, and Leia wasn’t inclined to share. Especially not after his tidbit about Vader and Palpatine reading minds.
He squints at her. “That’s not it.”
“What?”
“I don’t believe you,” he insists. He’s so infuriating. Leia doesn’t know why she hasn’t kicked him out yet.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do, and you’re either gonna tell me why, or find a different transport when we head out of here.”
“Who said I was riding on your hunk of junk?” She demands. She actually was planning on going with them, since the Falcon has more than enough room for all the supplies that can’t fit in the other ships and none of the trustworthiness of the other pilots, but Han doesn’t need to know that.
“Well?”
Damn him. Damn him for knowing how to read her. She doesn’t know when she let that happen.
“I feel it,” she admits, defeated. “Something tells me he’s trustworthy. We’ll wait and see if it’s right.”
He studies her. She holds her head high, but inside she’s jittery at the scrutiny. They don’t have time for this.
“Yeah, all right,” Han finally says.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” He rolls his eyes, like she’s not acting absolutely insane by putting all her trust in a random man she’s never even met. “Now come on, Princess, weren’t you the one who said we had to hurry?”
What is it about this man that makes it impossible to tell whether she wants to punch him or drag him into the nearest supply closet? They don’t have time to find out.
“So there’s good news and bad news.”
“Bad news first,” she demands.
“They know there��s a mole.”
“Shit.” Of course they know, how could they not? She should have been more careful, less obvious about the correlation of their movements with the Empire’s plans. “The good news?”
“They’ve tasked me with hunting down this ‘pathetic rebel spy,’” Skywalker says, humor in his voice. “That should buy me some time.”
Leia can’t quite stop the snort she lets out. “Seriously?”
“Yep. You’re speaking to a professional mole-hunter, here.”
“Well congratulations on the promotion, Skywalker.”
“Thank you,” he says grandly. Then, quieter, “It won’t last, Princess. They’ll find out eventually.”
“I know. Just hang in there, it will be over soon.”
“Will it?” He asks, suddenly sounding very young. She realizes that she has no idea how old he is. She doesn’t know anything about the man who has saved them more times than she cared to admit, and the idea rattles her until they sign off.
Later, she looks up the name Skywalker in their archives. There are a few results, but only one sticks out.
Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and hero of the Clone Wars. Killed at the hands of Darth Vader. There are gossip articles too, speculations on his relationship with the pregnant Senator Padmé Amidala, who died around the same time Skywalker did. The baby, it seems, died with her.
Unless he didn’t.
It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible. The idea is so ludicrous that Leia almost rejects it entirely.
But it makes sense. By the Maker, it makes sense.
The child of Anakin Skywalker, it seems, would be a powerful Force user indeed. Powerful enough for Kenobi to take the baby and run. Powerful enough for the Emperor to want him for his own gain. Powerful enough to send Vader after Kenobi and take the boy himself.
Maybe even powerful enough to shield his mind from Vader and Palpatine’s intrusions.
Powerful enough to hide the fact that he’s a spy.
Leia sinks into her chair, covering her face as she laughs.
Maybe Luke isn’t so bad after all.
“No, no, no,” she mutters, digging through the smoking wreckage of the TIE fighter. “Don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”
“Princess…” Han lays a hand on her shoulder that she immediately shrugs off.
“No, he’s not dead. He’s not. Luke!”
A faint cough answers her, and she’s so relieved to hear it she could cry. Behind her, Han starts bellowing for a medic and, “Some damn help here, do you expect us to move all this ourselves?”
“Luke, it’s me,” she sobs. “It’s Leia. You’re at the Rebel Base. You’re safe.”
More coughing, and there’s a worrying rasp to his voice when he says, “You know…my name?”
“I figured it out.”
“Smart.” This time, the coughing is so bad Leia and Han both wince.
“Shit, kid,” Han says, moving another piece of rubble. “Don’t talk. We’re gonna get you out of here, all right?”
“Stand back,” Luke chokes out.
“What?”
“Stand back. Please.”
Han protests, but something in Leia knows they should listen to him. She drags him back, and motions everyone else to fall back with them. They do, albeit reluctantly.
“Clear,” she calls, hoping Luke can hear her.
The TIE explodes.
“Fuck!” Han goes back in, Leia on his heels with the terrifying feeling that she’d just allowed Luke to die, before they both stop in their tracks. Around them, the broken pieces of the TIE are floating.
And curled up in the middle is a man dressed all in white.
“Luke!” She pushes past Han to start dragging him out, and after another moment of staring around them, he helps her.
As soon as they get clear, the pieces fall to the ground with a clatter. Luke falls limp with them.
Han is still looking at the TIE. “Can you do that?” He asks quietly.
Leia pauses her examination of the unconscious man in front of her to glare at him. “Is that what you’re most concerned with right now? Really?”
“Excuse me for asking, Princess!”
“It’s white,” Luke grumbles, pulling at his hospital gown bitterly. “I hate wearing white.”
“Should I be offended?”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t even. You look great and you know it. I just feel like I never left.”
“Well,” she says gingerly. “I guess it’s a good thing you got sick of it. If we went around in matching outfits all the time, people might think we’re twins.”
He snorts. “Yeah, right.”
#star wars#star wars fanfiction#luke skywalker#han solo#leia organa#imperial luke skywalker#exactly when luke was taken by the empire is totally up to speculation it could honestly be anywhere from newborn to 5#as for why luke has his dad’s blue lightsaber here instead of like a red one or smth- well you see your honor I thought it would be a slay#but also when you think about it for more than 5 seconds you’re like actually yeah that’s sick and twisted of palpatine and vader actually#you’re carrying your fathers most treasured weapon#you don’t know your father once fought the rise of the very empire you stand to inherit with that blade. you don’t know who he defended#you don’t know your father brought about the end of the republic with that same weapon#he killed the younglings with it. he fought his closest companion with it#you’re carrying what was once your fathers most treasured weapon. you are your fathers most treasured weapon#just as your father is a weapon now#also I didn’t make it clear but obi-wan has his ‘strike me down and I become stronger’ moment like he still dies on purpose to cause proble#but when he saw luke he couldn’t look away. he had to see him with living eyes one last time#can u tell I had So Many Thoughts on everyone else’s perspective in this fic too#han is having a constant crisis in the background because 1) force is real 2) princess is annoying AND pretty which sucks for him#in particular and 3) pretty princess is learning to use the force and is hot while doing it. Chewie is laughing at him. life is hell#good lord did not mean to put an entire essay in the tags. i love their super special twin powers (cosmic entity that binds their souls)#edit: GUYS I FORGOT TO NAME THE FUCKING AU#AND WHEN I TRY AND FIX IT IT GLITCHES OUT ON MEEE 😭😭😭
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Chewtoy (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Squeeze him - he makes a squeaky toy noise#Everyone needs to bite Gaster! He doesn't yield like flesh so it probably doesn't even hurt right? Yeahhhh he'll be fiiiine#There is something very funny to me about him just sitting there and taking it tho lol - feeds into his martyr play ♪#As if I don't already have a favourite martyr hmmm don't worry about it lol#What was he even doing why is he just letting 2-P bite him lol#Socialization? That's not a good thing to just let him do! He's still got a young mind! Boundaries are important#He does offer a way out - hehe ♫ - but he doesn't enforce it! You're setting them up for failure#Hehehehe#The bone gift was fun to doodle hehe ♪ He leaves it with him and it goes completely untouched while his arm is covered in teeth-marks pfft#Even with Papyrus a bit more unruly I still like to imagine he acts mean in largely harmless ways haha#Like yeah he's being naughty and biting when he knows better and offered other options - Gaster. Gentle enforcement - but he's not Hurting#He's not using his entire bite force - probably lol or he's just got weak little baby bites (though those can be quite painful!)#Sans on the other hand would absolutely go 100% full power - and still only do 1HP lol what an unfortunate design quirk for him#If only he had a jaw he could open! He'd bite the heck outta Gaster! Alas#I do like to imagine Fellplates!Sans has just fast-tracked to classic's conclusion of ''You suck and I hate you. Die'' about Gaster lol#Even the possibility of not being mean to him is so alien! What do you /mean/ not hurt you?? Do you know who you're talking to??#He'll find another way to mess with him in good time haha
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how Courier Six be looking at Jeannie-May Crawford just before putting on the red beret (her head is about to spontaneously explode)
#art#fallout new vegas#fallout nv#courier six#oc: mule#courier 6#fanart#fallout#novac#hello fallout fandom i present to you my courier six#his name is Mule and hes somewhat deranged and incredibly volatile but also inexplicably kind#he is the three time winner of the 'survivor of amateur brain surgery' award#as well as the 'survivor of surgery with non-sterile equipment' award#his brain is an entirely seperate being to himself and they frequently argue#also his brain runs the entirety of Independent Vegas / Independent Nevada#since w/ yes man and the army mule took over kicked out the ncr and then absorbed the Legion into his forces thus collecting their territor#well. Mule's brain gave the instructions to do that. mule just follows orders#his brain is basically Mr House Part Two Electric Boogaloo#while mule is just. The Dragon.#anyway yeah thats the lore for this silly guy#*securitron army not like. the actual army#fallout oc#my art
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his work motto prolly hhhhf (the "fuck amygdala, fuck azai" silently swings in his tone)
#saran; watching his baby project gone to shit after his death thanks to azai: fuck this and fuck that and fuck you specially#the true founder/boss decides on his own and he chooses mercy!! no more report punishments!!!!#amygdala stuff#also shows azai and saran many differences even if its just azais will being acted out through the ppl working for him right there#(the superior wanting vika to rewrite the entire report again and again and again)#azai who believes in strict punishments to get what he wants as fast as possible and make the ppl “below him” pay for their mistakes;#pay for not being what he wants (like saran had to pay with his life)#vs saran who believes in gentle discipline without pressure on the mind or body or putting himself in a higher position of power#his usual approach is to help vika without interfering or doing the work for him so he gets to learn and do things his own but#right there hes doing vikas punishment bc he doesnt see the purpose of it. it only leads to vika making more mistakes out of mental fatigue#the only purpose is to humiliate him and punish him for things he has little to no control over#in a bigger sense; saran wont allow azai to shape vika into something HE wants with punishments and force#wip#tbd#this turned into such a ramble oof
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Not to get too involved in discourse but “Agatha is a deeply traumatized person who is acting out of a place of hurt and deserves sympathy for the pain she's had to endure and understanding that the majority of her wrongdoings were committed out of desperation for survival” and “Intention doesn’t erase outcome and her pain doesn't undo the trauma and horror she's committed against others; her victims don't owe her forgiveness before redemption and it is reasonable for people who know nothing about her past to distrust her based on her reputation and the persona she displays” are both true statements that can coexist.
Please remember that "morally gray" means a person is neither good nor bad. Please do not reduce this incredibly complex character to entirely evil or entirely innocent because she is neither. She has done truly terrible, unforgivable things and is also a victim of cruelty and injustice. Let her be both.
#people decided she was evil and it's not her responsibility to hurt herself further just to prove them wrong#she allowed an entire town to continue suffering under the spell of an untrained witch when she had the ability to help them#she was forced to kill her own family just to survive after they tried to execute her as a child#she intentionally tried to goad the other witches into blasting her with magic so she could steal their power and kill all three of them#all she's ever wanted is to be loved and she lost the few people in the world who ever gave her that of course she lashes out#wanda 100% would have tried to help agatha bring nicholas back if she'd reached out and helped her#instead of intentionally trying to steal power from a grief-stricken woman who didn't even understand her power yet#why would she try to reach out to a stranger when even her own family betrayed her?#if she wants people to give her a chance surely that starts with giving others a chance to be loyal as well?#there are so many layers to this character please see them all#i'm begging y'all do not try to reduce agatha to just another 'i'm innocent because i have a tragic backstory' villain i'm so over those#do not steal the impact of her character arc by pretending she has nothing to repent for because she does#also agatha harkness is not your poor little meow meow she is a centuries-old witch who wielded the darkhold how are people infanilizing he#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha all along spoilers
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i know, i know, jj is so fucking strong and she perseveres despite everything she’s gone through, i know, but fucking hell my heart is breaking over and over for her
the far away look in her eyes
the constant fidgeting to keep herself present
the way she only has the bare minimum amount of skin showing, even to where she’s covering her hands
my heart hurts for her so much and she’s forcing herself to deal with all of this alone
#even the way holly describes sydney’s troubles#and the camera focuses on jj when holly says she cries most nights#and it’s just fucking tearing me apart#that entire scene especially tore me apart#and i wonder how much of sydney’s emotions and reactions mirror jj’s own since finding out about baugate#this storyline is one of the most devastating ones in the show#second only to rosalyn and fucking 11 year old jj being the one to find her#jennifer jareau i want to put you in my pocket and protect you forever#if anyone comes at me for this#leave me be!!!#jj is so fucking strong she’s one of the strongest people on the team#both emotionally and physically#but fucking CHRIST she is SUFFERING so bad right now and it’s gut wrenching to see#i’m sick thinking about next episode#about how she’s forced to work face to face more with a man that violated her in one of the most horrific ways possible#and what happens when she finds out emily green lit that#i’m sick#SICK#jennifer jareau#jennifer jj jareau#emily prentiss#criminal minds#cme spoilers#criminal minds evolution spoilers#criminal minds spoilers#cm spoilers#criminal minds evolution#CME writers enough is enough!!!!#the jemily angst/hurt storyline is too much!!!!
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nikolai hunting ghost down whenever they're on the same base and plucking him from whatever duties he has to whisk him away somewhere private. he has no authority, nothing more than his reputation as a rogue pilot with a few screws loose, but the way he fearlessly manhandles the ghost has people ducking out of his way anyway
behind a locked door, he offers ghost the choice of either curling up at his feet or sitting pliant in his lap, his full weight against him with his head lax on his shoulder; warm, comfortable, boneless
he then tucks his mask up above his lips and plies him with fruit and sweets; things he'd never buy for himself, indulgences he’d never entertain, wasted on a hollow shell like him
but nikolai? oh, he knows how much he deserves them; these precious moments of peace where the only thing ghost exists for is the next delicious bite
he feeds them to him one by one; thumbing strawberry juice and powdered sugar from his lips, humming in pure pleasure as he sucks it away, and smiles at ghost’s involuntary shivers when he feeds him his favourites. ghost doesn't even know what most of the sweets even are; what they’re made of or even what country nikolai buys them from. he just knows he loves them; loves the chase of nikolai’s fingers on his tongue after each one even more
nikolai always brings plenty for him, always draws it out, wanting these rare breaths of contentment to last for ghost’s sake as much as his own; offering plump bites of tart, homemade treats, letting rich chocolate melt between his fingers so it's soft in his mouth and watches his eyes flutter shut as he savours it
decadence incarnate; slow taught and hard won
ghost licks the dregs from his fingers and suckles them long after they're clean; the thought of an empty mouth so wrong to his sweet-clouded mind. nikolai coos in russian down at him, brushing his fingers through his hair as he holds him close, but he's too far away to take in any of it; the only thing holding him in the present the sugared fingers held gently in his mouth
after all, nikolai's always been his favourite sweet
#been thinking about nikolai hand feeding ghost to cope#do i hate turkish delight? yes#however i do think its something ghost would enjoy#i just imagine nikolai making a layover in between ferrying soldiers to pick up a bag of it from some 150 yr old store#that still makes it the same way they first did traditionally#and bringing it back just to hand feed it to ghost#i think hed like strong flavours#he gives me licorice vibes#what do we think of nikghost over here is it a vibe#bc im very not normal about them on twt#also niksoap#i just need nikolai to soft dom the entire 141 and force them into looking after themselves#its what they deserve#mr ‘we broke into a country and have limited supplies and options but still made sure to get price his favourite gun and bullets’ nikolai#i also have a tiddy sucking thread i can bring over if this hits#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#nikghost#nikolaighost#nikolai/ghost#nikolai x ghost#cod nikolai#nikolai cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#rarepair
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Poppy for N2 au, it took me so long to make her design cuz I didn't really know what I wanted to do only because I feel like her design is pretty perfect.
But then I just thought about fun outfits to give her or outfits that I would find comfortable if I was wearing them and it all came together.
Poppy here is pretty much the same as here movie counterpart, as nothing really changes on her end of things other than having more insight on Branch through his brothers, and through Lief. Shes also a bit more understanding a bit earlier on because of it but it doesnt do much to change her own character arc I would say.
Bonus
Part of Poppys design was based off a design I had made for previous rulers of Troll Village/Tree
Namely Queen Protea who I designed as Poppys grandmother
Named after the Protea flower which part of her design is based off :D
In the context of this Au Protea was the one who conceptualized the tunnels while her son, King Peppy, was the one to follow through after her death
#my art#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls 3#trolls au#trolls band together#trolls branch#trolls poppy#trolls oc#trolls oc lief#trolls oc protea#its really hard to mess with poppy at least in the context of this au cuz like i said nothing really changes on her end#whats changed in this au was just stuff on Branchs side of things#Poppy can witness these things but she herself isnt really changed by them#she of course would have more insight on Branchs life through his brothers and the addition of Lief as a character#but idk if that would fully change her approach with him other than what ive displayed#where shed try to relate to branch rather than trying to force him to relate to her#which would then most likely make her more understanding going forward than she was in canon#im still figuring her out#also since im in the tags and nobody really reads this#i feel brave enough to say#that secretly#ive been kind of sort of#posting a fanfic of this au under the name not the only one#on ao3#and thats where Protea comes from#its not well written in the slightest#but its just for fun and practice so in my mind it doesnt really have to be entirely#but i am having fun with it#so if you see this and check it out please be so very nice to me please
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If Rio is Death and is after Billy for escaping his death.
If Rio cannot kill Agatha.
If they maintain the end of the initial Road story.
I think we might see an Agatha sacrifice for Billy.
Because she would be keeping him alive when she couldn't keep Nicholas alive.
Because dying might mean she could be with Rio.
Because finding a way to reverse her siphoning would mean that she can control it.
Because Rio cannot kill Agatha.
(Rio cannot kill; Rio takes what is already dead.)
Because if Agatha dies, Billy can probably bring her back.
If Billy dies, Agatha cannot bring him back.
#musings#agatha all along#agatha spoilers#agatha harkness#billy maximoff#rio vidal#i strongly think we're looking at a potential agatha attempt at self-sacrifice moment#i think that's the only thing that will convince billy that she isn't out to harm him#AND they have been SETTING THIS UP in the way that agatha has acted around billy THE ENTIRE SERIES#and how we've already seen self-sacrifice set up#both with alice's trial - her mother's death; her mother's love; her mother's creation of the song to save her#AND /agatha's/ trial - alice's sacrifice to save agatha#i think they're setting up for this#HOWEVER#I DON'T THINK AGATHA IS ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE#like i trust one mcu writer and it is jac schaeffer#and while i think that would be a strong story and narrative#i think it would be just as strong for agatha to be forced to live AGAIN#and be part of a coven and part of a family and etc.#i don't think agatha's death is a satisfying narrative end so i don't think she'll perma-die (if she dies)#that would make it more billy's story and not agatha's and i don't think jac would do that#but i think there's a very strong possibility that she'll jump in front of a metaphorical bullet for him#to keep rio from taking him the way she took nicholas#(if she's death)
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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