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Of A Fatal Captivity: Technical Memory (III)

Summary: When do they decide that she can’t leave? That they’re going to keep her there no matter what she wants? That’s the day her captivity begins. Is that today?

Some of you will think that this beginning is a gimmick. Up to you! Think what you want! (It’s not a gimmick more than anything else in writing is a gimmick, which is to say, of course, it’s a gimmick, because that’s all writing is, really, isn’t it? A bunch of gimmicks? Some of them more successful than others? Isn’t that why we have tropes? The trappings of a Tragedy to tell us whether that’s really what the story is or not? (Do you know the story you’re in?))

Enough games.

You’re here for something better than that.

Or: Junko Enoshima’s factory reset may or may not be going as planned, and Ryoko Otonashi has plenty of things to say about that. Or will, once she realizes what’s going on.

Chapter Rating: M for Gore and Violence. Fic Rating: M for Danganronpa reasons, including the above.

TW for Gore and Vomit.

AO3

previous chapter

Book One

MEMORY UNLOCKED.

CONTINUE?

YES | NO

Memory #??? Found.

Password: So there’s no…there’s no logic to which memories I get when?

Incorrect Password.

Attempt #1 of 5 Before Permanent Lock.

Password: Nope! All at random! Although I must say, your luck has been pretty good so far.

Incorrect Password.

Attempt #2 of 5 Before Permanent Lock.

Password: …you’re not lying to me, are you?

Incorrect Password.

Attempt #3 of 5 Before Permanent Lock.

Password: Why would you ever think that?

Incorrect Password.

Attempt #4 of 5 Before Permanent Lock.

Password:

Password: 284539579875

Memory #??? Unlocked.

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

(Your Whole Life Is A Tragedy.)

“I don’t think you should come.”

Ryoko’s head pops up. It’s not like it’s sudden – she’s felt just how much Mukie’s wanted to tell her this for a while now and intentionally cut her off at every turn – but she’d hoped Mukie would just give up. Unfortunately, she’d been wrong. (She knew she would, but still, she’d hoped.) The pang of something uncomfortable settles in the middle of her chest at Mukie’s words, but she ignores it. “Why?” she asks, although she already knows how Mukie will answer.

“I just….” Mukie’s brow furrows. She’s so much taller and lankier than she used to be, and it makes Ryoko uncomfortable. Her mama keeps saying that she’ll grow up like that, too, sometime soon, and maybe that’s true, but it’s not fair that Mukie gets to grow up and be bigger first! She’d stamp her foot if she thought it would do any good.

Mukie pushes a hand through her long black hair. (It will not be long for very much longer. Soon, it will all be cropped off and shaved bare, although Ryoko will never see that. She’ll only hear about it afterwards, after Mukie returns with hair that barely creeps past her ears, a horrible look that’s gone by the time she comes back to stay.) “I think something bad’s gonna happen,” she says. “Oto-sama hates you. He doesn’t want you to—”

“He’s my oto-san, too,” Ryoko interrupts. She pushes her clothes all the way down in her bag, presses them in so that they’ll stay in, and then forces the zipper shut over them. “He just thinks I’m a threat to you because you’re the heir or something like that.” Her brow furrows, and she lies with her whole heart, says the lie that she hopes to be true and believes in it enough that she might force it to be. “He thinks if we’re friends, then you’ll want me to take on the Ikusaba name, too. In stories, when there are two heirs, they’re always fighting. Then everything gets split down the middle or they hate each other or something like that. And sometimes one of them kills the other.” She looks up and meets Mukie’s eyes, and she tells the lie like it’s the truth because it’s what she wants to be true. “He just loves you so much that he doesn’t want me to hurt you. That’s all.”

It takes a moment, but Mukie’s gaze drops. She shuffles her feet. “You’re sure?” she asks. “You’re the one that knows all that big stuff all the time, and everything. He’s not just gonna hurt you?”

Ryoko laughs and surprises herself with it as much as she does her sister. “No, silly! He’d never hurt me!” She pulls one eyelid down and sticks her tongue out at her. “I’ll be fine!”

(This one is only not a lie because she refuses to consider the possibility that she won’t.)

MEMORY UNLOCKED.

CONTINUE?

YES | NO

Memory #??? Found.

Password: I don’t like where this is going.

Incorrect Password.

Attempt #1 of 5 Before Permanent Lock.

Password: 284539579875

Memory #??? Unlocked.

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

The First of Your Tragedies.

Europe is more beautiful than Ryoko ever imagined.

They’d left before the winter break quite started, but Ikusaba-sensei was insistent about that. Ryoko’s mama hadn’t been too terribly happy about that – she actually hadn’t wanted Ryoko to go on the trip at all – but her papa had just patted her on the shoulder and murmured something that sounded like, “We did the best we could,” in a tone that sounded like the truth but felt like a lie. It was only then that her mama had given in, provided that Ryoko had all of her schoolwork done before she left, of course.

Ryoko finished everything in the blink of an eye. It was all so easy. She even sat down with Mukie while snacking on ginger candies and onigiri and helped her through the much harder schoolwork her sister had. Mukie was enrolled at one of those special, expensive schools – the elementary division of…something or other – one that required her to have a fancy title of some sort that Ryoko knew but also knew that Mukie hated so she pretended to forget. Somehow, Ikusaba-sensei didn’t seem to care whether Mukie should finish it or not, but Mukie cared.

She’d even met Mukie’s oka-sama before they left!

MEMORY UNLOCKED.

Password: 284539579875

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

(Your Whole Life Is A Tragedy.)

“Oka-sama, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Ikusaba-sama rarely, if ever, leaves her room. Ryoko’s only seen glimpses of her through one of the windows as she walks to school, and even then, she’s mostly only caught the silhouette of her through thin curtains. She’s wondered about her, of course, because she’s Mukie’s mama and she’s Ikusaba-sensei’s wife. But—

Mukie gives Ryoko’s hand a gentle squeeze and tugs her into Ikusaba-sama’s singular room. “It’s okay,” she whispers. “You’re with me; it’s okay.”

Ikusaba-sensei would kill her if he found her in this room. Ryoko is certain of that. But Mukie is her sister, which means that Ikusaba-sensei is her papa, too, which also means that Ikusaba-sama is—

“Oka-sama?”

Mukie’s mama turns from the shrine in front of her. “Mukuro, dear, you know that—” She cuts herself off as she notices Ryoko. Her head tilts gently to one side as she stares at her, and her eyes blink with blurry recognition. “Mitsuki?”

Ryoko nearly misses the name, but doesn’t. She leans to her sister and whispers, “Who’s Mitsuki?”

“I don’t know,” Mukie whispers back. “Oka-sama? This is my—” She glances to Ryoko, hesitates, lies. “—my friend, Ryoko. I wanted you to meet her. She’s going to go on the trip with us.”

But Ikusaba-sama just stares at Ryoko blankly.

She looks just like Mukie. That’s the thing that strikes Ryoko the most, just how much Mukie’s mama looks like her.

(That, and the wolf tattoo on the back of her right hand.)

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

The First of Your Tragedies.

To be fair, meeting Mukie’s oka-sama was weird.

She was spacey. She kept missing stuff. And she called her by the wrong name! It was weird!

And. And!

She wouldn’t. stop. staring at her.

Like…rude much?

And the thing is – Ikusaba-sama still won’t quit staring at her. Any time they’re in the same room, which is oddly not often for going on a trip with Mukie’s family, Ryoko can always feel Ikusaba-sama’s eyes on her. She even caught her once, nudging Ikusaba-sensei and pointing at her, whispering something, eyes lighting up. Happy. It would have been different if Ikusaba-sensei had reacted at all, but. but nothing.

There’s something…something there, but not. She can’t reach it. Not yet.

Not that it matters!

They’re in Europe! She’s in Europe! With Mukie and Chiaki! And it’s beautiful and they’re having fun and it’s actually nice and warm here! All tropical. She’s never been out of the country before, even though Mukie and her parents go pretty much every year.

She doesn’t know what she Mukie was so scared of. This is…. It’s fine. It’s good, even.

And nothing – absolutely nothing – bad is going to happen.

Nothing, do you hear me? Nothing bad.

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

The First of Your Tragedies.

She can’t remember when she first notices that Ikusaba-sensei and Ikusaba-sama are gone.

It’s not a big deal, usually. Sometimes Ikusaba-sama reaches the bulk of what her mind can handle, and she needs to go back to her room to rest. Ikusaba-sensei always walks her back. In all ways, Mukie’s papa is the perfect gentleman with her mama, so much more gentle and soft and considerate with her than he is with anyone else ever – even Mukie.

(But then he’s never particularly soft with Mukie.)

So Ryoko doesn’t clock when they leave. Notes when they’re gone, maybe, the way she always does, but it’s background noise behind everything else. Chiaki isn’t even playing her game as they’re walking; she looks around at everything just like Ryoko does, taking it in with everything she has, twinkling lights reflected in her eyes.

It’s snowing.

Ryoko remembers that it’s snowing. Remembers the way her air puffs in front of her, the cutest little cloud. She remembers saying something like, “Look, Chicharin! I’m a dragon!” and unhooking her elbows from the two of them, springing ahead, and then whirling around with her hands on her hips, leaning forward and blowing hot air – clouds – all over them.

Then she hears something.

Turns to it.

Life is a Game.

Feels the tiny hands pushing her out of the way before she feels the hot burn of something sharp against her cheek before she feels the ground racing up to face her before she feels the weight of a whole other body dropping onto her back before she feels her knees, her elbows skidding across the concrete before she feels—

Then she hears the muffled gunshot.

Then she feels something—

No.

She feels nothing.

This has nothing to do with her.

Mukie places a hand on her shoulder. “Stay here.” Races off. But not far, because as Ryoko slowly lifts herself up and drags herself out from under (she isn’t moving), she can see Mukie off in the distance fighting with…with someone. Multiple someones, even.

“Chicharin?” Ryoko whispers, shifting from beneath her, unbelieving, hoping. “Hey, hey, Chicharin?” She moves out from under her, and Chiaki drops, turning just enough that her face doesn’t directly hit the ground. “Hey—” Ryoko presses her hands against her, pushes her over onto her back, and sees the bullet hole shot clean through Chiaki’s left eye. She stumbles backward, scuttling like a crab, hands behind her, back and back and back.

She can’t breathe.

Blood – thick, red, bright – drips from Chiaki’s eye. (So does something else.) Stains the ground – the snow.

It takes another moment.

It’s so easy – so, so easy – to focus on everything else. To miss…to miss.

Ryoko can hear Mukie behind her, fighting with someone. Maybe multiple someones. She can hear her own breath, hard as it is to get it through her lungs, to get it past the pain in her throat. Her eyes are dry, and it feels like they’ll water just from that dryness, not from tears, because she’s not crying – not yet – she can’t cry, she doesn’t think, because it’s not…it’s not real, whatever’s just happened.

That is when Ryoko notices that Ikusaba-sensei and Ikusaba-sama are gone. Surely she must have noticed it before then. They must have said something about needing to leave, and Ikusaba-sensei must have said something about meeting them somewhere later. That’s how it’s been. Or something about when he expects them back by – and that sweep of his eyes that says he means Mukie and Chiaki but not her.

But she remembers…she remembers that look Ikusaba-sensei gave her. She remembers Ikusaba-sama’s blue-grey eyes tearing up. She remembers Ikusaba-sensei gently pressing his hand against Ikusaba-sama’s chest and forcing her away.

This was planned, Ryoko thinks, and the moment she thinks it, she knows it, and she knows that somewhere deep inside of her she knew it from the beginning and just refused to believe it, knows that she’d hoped Ikusaba-sensei wouldn’t have—

“Ryoko! Run!”

Ryoko doesn’t listen. She turns from Chiaki (not her body, from Chiaki herself because she’s not—) and sees Mukie so much taller than she is right now, all willowy thin and bright, fighting. Attacking. Defending. Yelling at her to run.

But Ryoko can’t move. She can’t. And when she finds that she can move, it isn’t away like Mukie wants. It’s forward.

Whatever Mukie can do, she can do.

Ryoko doesn’t know how she knows that, but she does.

She does.

MEMORY UNLOCKED.

CONTINUE.

Memory Downloading….

During The Second Game.

(You Are Always Learning What Tragedy Means.)

“I’m sorry.”

The goal was to clean up the bodies – body, this time – of any murders during the Class Trial. Her classmates are all locked in the basement, yelling and debating each other over who could possibly have killed one of them.

(Leon. It’s Leon. She saw, you know. She sees everything. But then, she’d seen everything before it happened, all of the possibilities, and she’d set other things in motion in case she’d needed them, in case other pieces had to be pushed into place. There are always so many options to reach the end, but there’s really only one end.

That’s the point, isn’t it? To write the story to its end?)

Stupid Sayaka, deciding to fuck up Makoto’s dorm, which means that she has to spend more time cleaning everything there so that when the trial is over and everyone is exhausted he can just go back to his dorm and pass out. Which means she’s spending the entire Class Trial just there.

Later, of course, they’ll still go straight to their rooms, and she’ll have more time to finish with cleaning up while they’re asleep. That wasn’t the original plan, perhaps, but it works just as well.

Or.

It will.

It’s not like she’s there yet.

The gym is off-limits when they come back up, not that any of them care. They hadn’t known what to expect from a trial – from an execution – not that….

Not that it matters, really.

She sits in the gym completely locked to the outside world, and she cradles her sister’s broken body against her chest.

“I’m sorry.”

She brushes her fingers through that stupid fucking wig and she pushes it back and she brushes her fingers through her sister’s short hair and she curls against her and lets all of that clotted blood stain her skin as her tears wipe away the stupid make-up she hated from her freckled cheeks.

“You should have let me die, Mukie. You should have killed me yourself. You shouldn’t have—”

Her sister is so much heavier like this.

She holds her against her chest and she rests her chin on her shoulder and she stares at the pink-spattered spears.

Quiet.

(Her fingertips bleed where the spears broke them.)

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

The First of Your Tragedies.

She should be dead.

She is not dead.

Mukie’s killed most of them.

Mukie’s killed—

(There is blood on her hands.

She does not know where the blood came from.)

((She knows where the blood came from, she saw the openings, she saw where they were going to be before they were there, and she is not Mukie, but she moved like Mukie, and when she started to stumble because she could not keep herself going, Mukie stepped into the empty spaces, and between them…between them—))

Ryoko doesn’t look back over her shoulder because she knows exactly what she will see and she can’t she can’t she won’t she can’t she can’t—

This has nothing to do with her.

This has everything to do with her.

This has NOTHING to do with her.

“Let my sister live,” Mukie says, knife held against the grown man’s neck. (Where did she get it?) (You know where she got it.) There’s a tattoo on one side. It looks familiar. Why does it look familiar? Where has she—

Ikusaba-sensei. Just beneath his robes, right at the curve where his neck and his back meets.

Ikusaba-sama. On the back of her right hand.

They’re talking, but Ryoko isn’t listening.

She knew not to look back over her shoulder.

But this conversation has nothing to do with her.

Chiaki is cold.

It’s snowing, and there’s snow covering her, and there’s a red tint to the snow like cherry snow cones, but she’s certain if she tries to eat it, it won’t taste like cherry snow cones but like copper pennies torn out of the violently salty sea, and Chiaki is cold, but she’s not shivering.

Chiaki’s not breathing—

“Ryoko.”

She startles, looks up at her sister’s eyes, finds them dark and cold, and drops her gaze to the edge of her blade, covered with blood.

Memory Downloading….

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

The First of Your Tragedies.

“Ryoko, you have to run.”

“Run?”

“Find Yasuke. I’ll take care of things here.”

“But Chicharin—”

“I’ll take care of things here.”

“I don’t have my passport. I don’t know how to—”

“It’ll be okay. You’ll make it. It’ll be okay.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have to go.”

“You’re leaving me.”

“I have to go.”

“I can’t do this on my own—”

“Don’t go back, okay? Find Yasuke. Use a new name, use a new…a new something, you can’t be Ryoko anymore, but you’re so good about new names and everything, and you said Ryoko always itched but you haven’t found something good, so you have to find something and you have to find Yasuke and you have to go or you’re going to die, too, so—”

“But what about you? Won’t you die?”

Like Chicharin—

“I won’t die. You have to go. You have to run. You have to—”

Memory Downloading….

During The Second Game.

(You Are Always Relearning What Tragedy Means.)

Time for the spears to rest.

Memory Downloading….

A Long Time Ago.

The First of Your Tragedies.

She vomits when she runs.