#suicidal ideation tw

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or dial 988 or (en Español)

The Trevor Project (LGBT crisis intervention) or dial 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline or dial 1-877-565-8860 (en Español)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

S.A.F.E. Alternatives for Stopping Self Abuse or 1–800-DONT-CUT (366–8288)

National Eating Disorders Association

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[compassionatereminders]

Yeah it sucks how some neurotypicals have watered down the term trigger, but the solution isn't to claim that only severely traumatized people have triggers. Most mental health issues can be triggered. If you have OCD and something makes your intrusive thoughts spike up, that was a trigger. If you are autistic and something makes your sensory issues flare up, that was a trigger. If you have depression and something makes you have suicidal thoughts, that was a trigger. If you have anxiety and something makes it worse, that was a trigger. It isn't just PTSD which can get triggered

[3idiotsandarainbow]

Day 19: To save yourself

From a fate worse than death

Killer killing the version of himself that almost reached a point of turning exactly like him before that version actually does >:)

-Anó

[daniclaytcn]

♡ countdown to the madney wedding ♡ (2 days) ↳ 5.12: boston

[green-alien-turdz]

Would you be willing to leave behind the consequences of your actions?

[wolfietheangel]

can you believe this is the same guy

[theatre-apocalypse]

Sharing my “Paul has MDD” propaganda.

[signanothername]

Which one of the UTMV's do you think is most likely to end their life?

Damn we getting dark today dhxhgxgxg

Error, he’s very much about destroying and erasing anomalies, and he sees himself as the #1 anomaly, I don’t think he would hesitate to actually kill himself if he succeeds in erasing all Aus

Killer, he’s already very self destructive, he has little to no self perseverance, he’d absolutely throw his life away, not to mention, he already canonically tried erasing himself out of existence

Murder, he absolutely would kill himself as a way out from under Nightmare, as his Au is his first priority and purpose and if he feels it’s completely helpless to break free he’d resort to suicide

Epic, his eye has caused him nothing but misery ever since he got it, I feel that had his eye not regenerated him, he would’ve absolutely committed suicide, he absolutely deals with suicidal thoughts

[gachamatsu]

x

[sunlitlemonade]

so. uh. surprising thing about jason, who might be one of the most inconsistently written characters ever, is the fact that one trait about him has remained constant throughout different eras, reboots and even an elseworld. no, it's not his thighs tho that would be a very good guess.

it's his suicidal ideation. yeah.

[here's me screaming about the fact that he feels like a phantom that has outlived its purpose of haunting in detail if you're interested]

[hellspawnmotel]

i LOVE ur analyses (ur noelle + ralsei ones completely changed the way i view those characters) and if u ever started a yt channel for video essays i would BE THERE. ur art has a comforting quality that can be twisted into something disturbing/raw that i rlly like and admire. i wanna know more of ur thoughts on chara. i think they killed themselves bc of their dread of humanity + they thought what they were feeling (anger/vengence) was inherent to being a human and not a monster. thoughts?

thank you, that's very kind of you!! I don't think what I have to say would be very well suited for video essays though haha, it's just my personal readings of the text and I really don't want people to look at it and assume that I'm completely right, or even that I think I'm completely right. there are tropes and themes that I get particularly caught up in and I have my very obvious biases, plus when it comes to deltarune the story isn't even done yet..... I would hate for somebody to get totally invested in my interpretation and then get mad or disappointed if something that happens further in negates it. (that and my video making/editing skills begin and end with cutting together amvs)

as for chara..... (warning this is about to get heavy, maybe don't read if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts of your own)

.....always a complex question, especially when it comes to their death. I never really want to say anything definitive about them, because well, we don't actually know, do we? but this in particular...... with suicidal thoughts and ideation, you're always looking for a way to justify it. I don't think there was one specific reason chara went down that path, because there never really is. it starts with one thought, and then all the reasons you could possibly come up with start to clump together and form an unbearable weight. I think it's significant that chara came up with "the plan" after (accidentally or not) poisoning asgore. maybe it started with the guilt of hurting somebody they loved, which grew into the guilt of 'I'm such a burden to these wonderful people, they would be better off without me' which grew into the guilt of being human at all. but they still wanted to be useful to their family, leave them with a gift.... if their death can both free monsterkind AND destroy humanity, then really it would be worse of them to NOT die. that idea would stick in their brain and become a comfort to them- it's okay, because before too long, everyone I love with be safe and happy and I'll be dead, and I won't have to feel so awful every day. this is the only way to make up for all the time they wasted on caring for me. but then, of course, everything goes so extremely wrong..... I can't imagine the anguish chara would've felt in death, for not only failing but dooming asriel alongside them. they weren't thinking about the pain it would inflict on their family even if the plan had worked, or ever stop to consider that one day they might be able to feel better, and now they'll never get a chance to see it.

I think that also nicely leads in the main routes in undertale's storyline. in one, chara is a passenger on frisk and the player's journey, and they watch frisk inconvenience everyone they meet over and over but ultimately make their lives better just by being a friend and believing in love, which mirrors chara's own life and what they failed to see in it. in the other, chara is guided into dealing with their pain in a different way, by destroying it. the world is cruel, and unfair, and it hurts the good people while the bad flourish- better to do away with it entirely. if there's no life, then there's no suffering. if chara is all that exists, they become the nexus of pain. if they have to become a demon anyway, they can learn to love it. it's all humans are good for anyway. maybe this is easier than trying to fight it ever was.

but like, it's not, obviously. being a good person is hard sometimes, and it's even harder to be good to yourself. in the end though, if you give into hate and destruction, you'll be left with nothing but emptiness. whether through harming others or harming yourself..... either way you've closed yourself off from the world and your ability to experience the beauty of life, in all its faults.

okay I think I should stop there before I get too preachy or existential LMAO I hope that answered your question though! talking about chara is a dang rabbit hole. like, you're a creepypasta-ass character from a video game, why you making me think this deep. maybe if you werent so tragic and interesting I'd get less distracted, jerk.

🌻

[trinrose3]

I just keep thinking of Illario being at least a little suicidal post game and OUGH

I just,,,Illario trying to gode Lucanis into killing him by being the most obnoxious and cruel person he can (only with his words of course cause at the end of the day he’s all bark and no bite). Eventually Illario just kinda…snaps cause Lucanis never falls for it. He screams and he throws things and he reminds Lucanis all too much of Spite when they were first learning how to get along. Illario doesn’t accept excuses of being family or having nobody else, they’re true for him, but Lucanis? Lucanis has everything friends, family, honor, and gentleness. What does Illario have? Bitter and painful memories, a nonna who refuses to acknowledge his existence, a cousin—no, brother— who acts like he’s made of glass far more often then he should. He has nothing, he has no one he is no one. Illario is nothing and Lucanis is everything.

And yet…when he’s at the end of that soft expression that Lucanis has, the one he’d only see when they were scared and scarred little boys, and he asks him in that soft voice of his with more sincerity then a crow should ever have,“Who will go wyvern hunting with me then?”

It’s as if they’re both young boys clinging to each other like they’re each other’s lifeline, and It takes more strength then he can muster to prevent the tears from flowing.

Illario can never tell who he hates more: Lucanis, himself, or the man he never had the internal strength to be….

[messiahzzz]

“if we were home”

first gale doesn’t dare to dream, to hope. but against his better judgment he nonetheless finds himself slipping into daydreams more and more frequently.

gale: i always imagined what it would be like when you finally got to meet her. this wasn't quite what i had pictured.

gale: i thought we'd be in waterdeep. you, curled up before a crackling hearth while i prepared us a ridiculously extravagant meal, served with a batch of my homemade hundur sauce.

he has led his imagination wander and thought about certain scenarios in specific detail. how it’d be like when you both return to waterdeep and he’ll get to show you around his hometown for the first time. leading you to his favorite spots in town and (fondly) recounting old memories, how meeting his mother and properly introducing you to tara would play out, down to the very first actual, proper date. daily domestic activities like cooking (letting you try his homemade hundur sauce), reading together, etc etc. at this point there was no actual conversation about your wishes yet and what you want to do after all of this… IF you even prevail. but with his potential death looming on the horizon he wonders how things could have been instead, if you met in another timeline.

gale: i fear mine is a dream for another life. but a fine one nonetheless.

even if he genuinely believes that he will not survive this whole ordeal himself, the idea alone of being able to show you his home, the center of his universe, in person (and knowing that you share his excitement) is still something that keeps him going.

player: it could still happen. so long as we find another way to beat the absolute.

gale: gods, i love your optimism. contagious in the most endearing way.

[bloodraven55]

ngl this part was just….. viscerally gutwrenching to read bc it’s exactly word for word the way i was thinking when i was severely depressed

[atomicpirateperson]

rob meme dump