#suicidal ideation tw

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or dial 988 or (en Español)

The Trevor Project (LGBT crisis intervention) or dial 1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline or dial 1-877-565-8860 (en Español)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

S.A.F.E. Alternatives for Stopping Self Abuse or 1–800-DONT-CUT (366–8288)

National Eating Disorders Association

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Yeah it sucks how some neurotypicals have watered down the term trigger, but the solution isn't to claim that only severely traumatized people have triggers. Most mental health issues can be triggered. If you have OCD and something makes your intrusive thoughts spike up, that was a trigger. If you are autistic and something makes your sensory issues flare up, that was a trigger. If you have depression and something makes you have suicidal thoughts, that was a trigger. If you have anxiety and something makes it worse, that was a trigger. It isn't just PTSD which can get triggered

[incognitopolls]

Content warning: discussion of suicidal ideation.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[3idiotsandarainbow]

Day 19: To save yourself

From a fate worse than death

Killer killing the version of himself that almost reached a point of turning exactly like him before that version actually does >:)

-Anó

[daniclaytcn]

♡ countdown to the madney wedding ♡ (2 days) ↳ 5.12: boston

[binders-and-beanies]

My first ever attempt at a comic bc it truly felt like the most powerful way to depict this. Additional commentary under the cut

First of all- this is not an invitation to take any sort of action about my safety without my consent. To do so would completely miss the point of the art I’ve just put my heart and soul into. If you’re concerned about me, check on me directly. This is truly just me wanting to be heard. Anyway

I named the comic this because when the GPS robot voice says “starting route to home,” I am overwhelmed with emotion. I’m rarely at my literal home theses days, and I don’t know what to expect from a future home. I feel like I’m constantly, and somehow never, “starting route to home.”

The bridge at the beginning connects my current two homes; my hometown and college campus. I keep hearing that they’re going to close the bridge for construction for several years, meaning I’ll have to take a scarier way home. (And yes, I deal with some difficult thoughts about the bridge. Yes I’m safe)

The parking garage is downtown where I’m planning to move soon. The swirly ramp lights up at night. I almost included a frame of a picture I took in the garage elevator, of a sign saying that the roof was closed for construction. I felt it was a bit too on the nose, as I purposely avoid seeing the roof.

The red car pictured throughout is mine, its name is Winston. I bought it used after a severe crash totaled my first car two months after I started driving independently. Winston has had a dent on the front since before I got it, and I always wonder what happened. That dent is the reason I could afford the car

The picture of my deceased friend Josh is displayed in my car as a reminder to drive with him in mind. He died in a car crash at 19

I got the “be safe” tattoo on the 11 year anniversary of meeting him

The screenshot of a song is really the song I believe I almost died to. I don’t remember what part of the song was playing during the crash, but I remember the end of the song blaring from my car as I escaped the wreckage.

The State Champs concert panel is my favorite panel in the comic. It’s the one I had to take breaks from drawing bc it hit hard. Driving myself to concerts is what wanting to live rly looks like to me

The timestamps in the GPS route panel are Josh’s birth and death dates. The route I drew is from my school to Baltimore. This is a route I drive for concerts + I’ve entertained the idea of living there someday. I almost drew the route between the North Carolina towns Josh and I lived in as children, but that felt too certain; I know where we lived. I don’t know where I’m going to be in a few years

My mom, best friend, and partner tend to be the first few people I text after a long drive. I try to do this quickly bc I know what it feels like to never get the “home safe” text. The timestamps on the messages are their birthdays. The additional messages are meant to convey that I have many more loved ones, *and* that I can’t keep up with my life

The Bratz keychain is one of the newest additions to a lifelong collection of Bratz items. Also pictured in this panel is my first tattoo, also for Josh.

The color scheme I used throughout is Josh’s favorite, and I always notice it at traffic lights.

Regarding the “ice on the road” panel: This is a metaphor pls for the love of god does anyone hear me. It’s also quite literal in regards to driving tho. Get off my ass

The warning lights I chose to highlight are ones that seemed closest to how I feel mentally in winter

I wrote the words to this comic in a parking lot on the way back from Dan and Phil in November. That drive felt exactly like what the comic describes, and the ideas developed so clearly that I had to create something about it immediately. I didn’t get to draw it until January but have re-read it every day

[green-alien-turdz]

Would you be willing to leave behind the consequences of your actions?

[wolfietheangel]

can you believe this is the same guy

[theatre-apocalypse]

Sharing my “Paul has MDD” propaganda.

[signanothername]

Which one of the UTMV's do you think is most likely to end their life?

Damn we getting dark today dhxhgxgxg

Error, he’s very much about destroying and erasing anomalies, and he sees himself as the #1 anomaly, I don’t think he would hesitate to actually kill himself if he succeeds in erasing all Aus

Killer, he’s already very self destructive, he has little to no self perseverance, he’d absolutely throw his life away, not to mention, he already canonically tried erasing himself out of existence

Murder, he absolutely would kill himself as a way out from under Nightmare, as his Au is his first priority and purpose and if he feels it’s completely helpless to break free he’d resort to suicide

Epic, his eye has caused him nothing but misery ever since he got it, I feel that had his eye not regenerated him, he would’ve absolutely committed suicide, he absolutely deals with suicidal thoughts

[gachamatsu]

x

[sunlitlemonade]

so. uh. surprising thing about jason, who might be one of the most inconsistently written characters ever, is the fact that one trait about him has remained constant throughout different eras, reboots and even an elseworld. no, it's not his thighs tho that would be a very good guess.

it's his suicidal ideation. yeah.

[here's me screaming about the fact that he feels like a phantom that has outlived its purpose of haunting in detail if you're interested]

[trinrose3]

I just keep thinking of Illario being at least a little suicidal post game and OUGH

I just,,,Illario trying to gode Lucanis into killing him by being the most obnoxious and cruel person he can (only with his words of course cause at the end of the day he’s all bark and no bite). Eventually Illario just kinda…snaps cause Lucanis never falls for it. He screams and he throws things and he reminds Lucanis all too much of Spite when they were first learning how to get along. Illario doesn’t accept excuses of being family or having nobody else, they’re true for him, but Lucanis? Lucanis has everything friends, family, honor, and gentleness. What does Illario have? Bitter and painful memories, a nonna who refuses to acknowledge his existence, a cousin—no, brother— who acts like he’s made of glass far more often then he should. He has nothing, he has no one he is no one. Illario is nothing and Lucanis is everything.

And yet…when he’s at the end of that soft expression that Lucanis has, the one he’d only see when they were scared and scarred little boys, and he asks him in that soft voice of his with more sincerity then a crow should ever have,“Who will go wyvern hunting with me then?”

It’s as if they’re both young boys clinging to each other like they’re each other’s lifeline, and It takes more strength then he can muster to prevent the tears from flowing.

Illario can never tell who he hates more: Lucanis, himself, or the man he never had the internal strength to be….

[atomicpirateperson]

rob meme dump

[stingrachelmha]

Part 4 of my captured comic. Things picking up soon!

A fair warning (if it’s not obvious already!) that the rest of the comic will contain blood/violence/etc and body horror. Nothing too different from canon, but be aware!

Part 1 | Previous | Next

[hellspawnmotel]

i LOVE ur analyses (ur noelle + ralsei ones completely changed the way i view those characters) and if u ever started a yt channel for video essays i would BE THERE. ur art has a comforting quality that can be twisted into something disturbing/raw that i rlly like and admire. i wanna know more of ur thoughts on chara. i think they killed themselves bc of their dread of humanity + they thought what they were feeling (anger/vengence) was inherent to being a human and not a monster. thoughts?

thank you, that's very kind of you!! I don't think what I have to say would be very well suited for video essays though haha, it's just my personal readings of the text and I really don't want people to look at it and assume that I'm completely right, or even that I think I'm completely right. there are tropes and themes that I get particularly caught up in and I have my very obvious biases, plus when it comes to deltarune the story isn't even done yet..... I would hate for somebody to get totally invested in my interpretation and then get mad or disappointed if something that happens further in negates it. (that and my video making/editing skills begin and end with cutting together amvs)

as for chara..... (warning this is about to get heavy, maybe don't read if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts of your own)

.....always a complex question, especially when it comes to their death. I never really want to say anything definitive about them, because well, we don't actually know, do we? but this in particular...... with suicidal thoughts and ideation, you're always looking for a way to justify it. I don't think there was one specific reason chara went down that path, because there never really is. it starts with one thought, and then all the reasons you could possibly come up with start to clump together and form an unbearable weight. I think it's significant that chara came up with "the plan" after (accidentally or not) poisoning asgore. maybe it started with the guilt of hurting somebody they loved, which grew into the guilt of 'I'm such a burden to these wonderful people, they would be better off without me' which grew into the guilt of being human at all. but they still wanted to be useful to their family, leave them with a gift.... if their death can both free monsterkind AND destroy humanity, then really it would be worse of them to NOT die. that idea would stick in their brain and become a comfort to them- it's okay, because before too long, everyone I love with be safe and happy and I'll be dead, and I won't have to feel so awful every day. this is the only way to make up for all the time they wasted on caring for me. but then, of course, everything goes so extremely wrong..... I can't imagine the anguish chara would've felt in death, for not only failing but dooming asriel alongside them. they weren't thinking about the pain it would inflict on their family even if the plan had worked, or ever stop to consider that one day they might be able to feel better, and now they'll never get a chance to see it.

I think that also nicely leads in the main routes in undertale's storyline. in one, chara is a passenger on frisk and the player's journey, and they watch frisk inconvenience everyone they meet over and over but ultimately make their lives better just by being a friend and believing in love, which mirrors chara's own life and what they failed to see in it. in the other, chara is guided into dealing with their pain in a different way, by destroying it. the world is cruel, and unfair, and it hurts the good people while the bad flourish- better to do away with it entirely. if there's no life, then there's no suffering. if chara is all that exists, they become the nexus of pain. if they have to become a demon anyway, they can learn to love it. it's all humans are good for anyway. maybe this is easier than trying to fight it ever was.

but like, it's not, obviously. being a good person is hard sometimes, and it's even harder to be good to yourself. in the end though, if you give into hate and destruction, you'll be left with nothing but emptiness. whether through harming others or harming yourself..... either way you've closed yourself off from the world and your ability to experience the beauty of life, in all its faults.

okay I think I should stop there before I get too preachy or existential LMAO I hope that answered your question though! talking about chara is a dang rabbit hole. like, you're a creepypasta-ass character from a video game, why you making me think this deep. maybe if you werent so tragic and interesting I'd get less distracted, jerk.

🌻