#anxiety tw

[blairwaldcrf]

INSIDE OUT 2 (2024) - ANXIETY

[gmabrams]

I find it so funny that people are dubbing lifting the bottom of your shirt up as "pulling a Gracie"... I'll admit I get caught doing it in front of paparazzi a lot, but it's more of an anxiety, fidget thing. I need my hands to be doing something, what do you think I play guitar for? I'm curious to hear any habits of yours, good or bad, I won't tell a soul. @sbhqstarters

[mysharona1987]

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

The Grand A-Z List of Whump 1/3

This list contains ~290 items listed A to H

As always, I heavily encourage people to research topics thoroughly when writing as it is important to avoid stereotypes/misinformation. This list's intention is not to glorify/romanticise sensitive topics in any way.

This part one-of-three comprehensive lists of injuries, Illnesses and tropes - including those from the Whumptober 2023 trope vote!

All submissions are listed in italics, and those who wanted to be tagged will be included at the end. If you have any more submissions: please send them via DM/my ask box.

[I-Q] [R-Z] [NSFW List]

List below the cut:

#

"I don't need your help."

"I'm doing this to make you better"

"I'm fine, take care of them!"

“I’m Fine”

"Kill me instead"

"Let me in."

"Look at me."

"Should I know you?"

"Take me instead."

(No) Anaesthetic

A

A Good Ol' Sickfic

Abandoned

Abdominal Pain

Aching Wounds

Acne

Adrenaline Crash

Adrift (in space/at sea)

Agoraphobia

Airsickness

Alien abduction

Allergies

Alopecia

Ambulance Ride

Ambush

Amnesia/memory loss

Amputations

Anaemia

Anesthesia

Angina (Heart condition that causes pain)

Animal Attack/Bite

Ankle Sprain

Anthrax

Anxiety/Anxiety attack(s)

Aphasia

Appendicitis

Arrested

Arthritis

Asking for help

Asphyxiation

Assumed Dead

Asthma/Asthma Attack

Auctions

Autoimmune disease

Avalanches

B

Backache

Bad Caretakers

Bandaged Head

Banished

Barbed Wire

Bear trap

Beaten up by ex-friends

Beaten with blunt object (i.e, bat or pipe)

Beatings

Bedrest

Bedside Vigil/Hospital Vigil

Begging

Betrayed by close friend/team/family

Bites (Animal, Bug, Human….)

Biting

Black Eye

Blackmail

Bleeding Out

Bleeding Through

Bandages

Blindfolded

Blindness (this could be temporary or permanent)

Blisters

Blood Loss

Blood Poisoning

Bloodied Knuckles

Bloodstains/blood trail

Bloody handprints

Bloody nose

Blunt force trauma

Blurred vision

Body modification

Body Sharing

Body Switching

Bounty on their head

Brain Damage

Brainwashing

Breakdowns

Breathless

Bridal Carry

Broken Bones (Ribs, Arm, Leg)

Broken Nose

Broken Promises

Bronchitis

Bruises

Building Collapse

Bullet Removal

Bumpy roads jarring injuries

Buried Alive

Burning Building

Burns/Scalding

Busted kneecap

C

Cancer

Caning

Capgras syndrome/delusion (belief that someone close to/important to the person has been replaced by an imposter)

Capsulitis

Captivity

Captured

Car chases (and maybe a car crash)

Carbon monoxide poisoning

Cardiac Arrest

Caretaker has to “play nice” with whumper.

Caretaker has to hurt whumpee while undercover.

Caretaker sacrificing something dear to them to get something the whumpee needs.

Caretaker turned Whumpee

Caretaker-whumper who's a parental whumper. But their "love" is not real love. Or even right treatment.

Carsickness

Cataracts

Catatonia

Caught in a fire

Caught in an explosion

Cauterization

Cave In

Cavity

Celebrity whump (exploitation in the music/movie industries…)

Chaffing from ropes/handcuffs/shackles

Chained/Shackled

Checking for injuries

CHF - congestive heart failure

Chicken Pox

Chills

Chloroform

Choking

Chronic pain

Claustrophobia

Cleaning wounds alone

Cold/Flu,

Collapsed Lung

Collapsing (into someone’s arms is usually nice, bonus points for cradling their head as they lower the whumpee to the floor)

Collapsing after they win

Collapsing/Fainting/Passing Out

Collars

Coma

Comfort after a nightmare

Common cold

Completely betrayed by their own team

Complications

Concussion

Confusion

Constipation

Constricted Airways

COPD - Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease makes breathing increasingly more difficult.

Corporal Punishment

Corset too tight and won’t unbutton

Coughing

Coughing Up Blood

CPR

Cramps

Crikes (intubation through neck)

Crush injury

Crying

Cuddle pile

Curses

Cuts/Grazes

Cutting off hair (more of an emotional hurt)

Cyanide poisoning

D

Damaged Larynx/Vocal Cords

De-aging

Deathbed Confessions (don’t have to actually die and stay dead, just the threat of dying)

Defeat

Defenestration (throwing out a window)

Dehydration

Deja Vu

Delirium (bonus points for this being drug/ fever induced)

Deluded whumper/thinking they’re helping the whumpee

Dengue Fever

Denial

Depression

Dermatitis

Diabetes (type 1 and 2)

Diarrhea

Diseases ('mystery' diseases are the best kind)

Dislocations

Disorientation

Disowned by Family

Displaced hip

Dissociation

Distress call

Dizziness

Dragged Away

Dream sequence

Driving to the hospital with a whumpee slumped barely-conscious in the seat of the car

Drowning

Drunkenness

E

Ear Infection

Edema (swelling from build up of fluid)

EKG

Electrical Burns

Electrical shock

Electrocution

Emergency field surgery

Emergency Surgery

Emotional angst

Emotional manipulation

Endometriosis

Enemy to Caretaker

Energy Drain

Environmental whump

ER

Execution

Exes reunited with one wanting a relationship and the other just wanting friendship.

Exhaustion

Experimentation

Exposure

Extreme Weather

Eye injury

F

Facing Phobias

Failed Escape

Failure to thrive

Fainting

Fainting (but also fainting aftermath) / Fainting due to lack of sleep, food, or overworking fainting from exhaustion

Falling

Falling for Caretaker/Whumpee/Whumper

Falling Through Ice

Fatigue/Exhaustion

Fever

Fibromyalgia (Chronic Pain)

Field medicine

Fighting (while injured)

Financial difficulty faced + how whumper might take advantage of that + how caretaker handles everything (well/badly)

Finding your loved one dead without explanation but thinking they’re still alive.

Fireman's carry

Flare ups

Flashbacks

Flinching away

Flu

Food Poisoning

Forced to... (Break out, Choose, Hurt, Kneel, Scream, Watch)

Forehead kisses

Forgotten by team

Foul-tasting medicine

Found family

Found unconscious

Fracture (Arm, Hyoid bone etc)

Freezing / cold whump

Friendly Fire

Frostbite

G

Gagged/Muzzled

Gangrene infection

Gaslighting

Gas (noxious, poisonous etc)

Gastritis

Glass (shards, debris etc)

Grief

Gunshot Wound

H

Hair Pulling/Cutting/Matting/Stroking

Hallucinations

Hanahaki

Handcuffs

Handgag

Hard ground

Haunted

Hay Fever

Head injuries/concussion

Head trauma

Headache/Migraine

Heart Palpitations

Heartburn

Heat Exhaustion

Heatstroke

Heavy metal poisoning

Held at gunpoint/knifepoint/weapon point

Hematohidrosis (Sweating blood)

Hemophilia/Hematophilia (Blood unable to clot)

Haemothorax

Hernia

Hidden Illness/Injury/Scar/Medical Issues

Hiding

High Blood Pressure

High Fever (like dangerously high)

High Pain Tolerence

Hit by a car

Home Sickness

Hospital Codes

Hostage Situation

House burnt down

Huddling for Warmth

Human Shield

Human Weapon

Hunger

Hungover

Hunted for Sport

Hurt no comfort

Hyperalgesia,

Hypermobility

Hyperventilating

Hypo/Hyperthermia

Hypo/Hyperthyroidism

Hypoglycemia

Hypotension/ Hypertension

Hypoxia

TAG LIST: Thank you very much to the following people for submitting ideas! (I apologise if some tags did not work, I'm not sure why tumblrs not letting me tag you!)

@I-eat-worlds | @greygullhaven | @letsgowhump | @cyberwhumper @firapolemos05 | @originaldeerhottub | @whumpilicious | @drawing-dinos82 | @carenrose | @stellarinuscronicles | @gottheseasonalblues | @marvelflame2010 | @sowhumpful | @avamcu | @courtneygacha | @lordofthewhumps | @autismmydearwatson | @kuddelmuddell | @the-most-handsome-ginger | @whirls-and-swirls | @painsandconfusion

[destinygoldenstar]

What Separates Digital Circus’s Horror From Others

Disturbing.

Unnerving.

TERRIFYING.

BUT WHY?!

On the surface to the… five people that never watched The Amazing Digital Circus Pilot, this show looks like a Five Nights At Freddy’s knock off.

It’s a cute mascot show that is actually secretly a horror monster infested world.

Even people who haven’t seen FNAF at least seen a few clips of it and what it’s famous for. I know I have.

My sister is super into this, and she hogs the TV, so… RIP me.

That’s what most non-horror stans usually view horror as.

The jumpscares.

The unnerving imagery.

The designs made to freak out the viewers and make them uncomfortable.

It’s usually quite obvious when something is a horror, cause these aspects are often front and center. You can usually tell it’s a trailer of a horror movie by just looking at it.

At least, from my, a non-horror lover’s understanding. For some reason these sorts of things, especially indie animated ones, are the faces of a lot of content farms.

If the product itself isn’t r@%ing your audience, it’s those.

(TAKE MY WARNING AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY: IF YOU VALUE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND YOUR SANITY, DO NOT LOOK UP THIS MOVIE)

BUT BACK ON SUBJECT.

Digital Circus… doesn’t really have this stuff.

There’s no jumpscares.

(I mean there is in a trailer, but it’s used as a joke.)

The character designs are very cute looking without any alternate versions that are scary.

And the imagery of the show remains cute and fun all throughout. The darkest it gets is in a realistic looking office.

But there are no jumpscares in that scene.

It’s just… a normal office.

If this was a horror, then perfect opportunity, right?

So… what’s going on here?

This, my friends, is why Digital Circus is not your typical indie animated horror flick.

And why people even call it ‘scary’ at all.

Here’s the trick this show uses.

It’s not the imagery.

It’s not the designs.

It’s not even intentionally trying to scare you.

Caine is not intentionally trying to scare the audience. He’s just acting like an A.I.

Yeah he has SOME unnerving moments.

But compared to THIS:

I’d say Caine is pretty tame.

Maybe it’s an indicator that he’s secretly a monster like the Other Mother in Coraline.

That horror flick is about the host lying to the protagonist and revealing their horror-like appearance later on.

But not only was it confirmed that Caine is NOT evil. But look at his design right away and his presentation.

There is no sign so far that he lies about anything. At least not what he doesn’t know.

Yes he lied about the exit. But the exit ITSELF was the thing that sent you to the VOID. So really he kinda tried to protect them.

If he didn’t, he’d let jester girl eject herself like Among Us.

So why is it unnerving?

Because it’s the POV we the audience are in for most of the episode: Pomni.

Pomni is an Audience Surrogate.

Audience Surrogates are characters designed specifically to be a placeholder for the audience.

People usually assume this trope as the character made to be the bland and generic one. But that’s actually not true.

An audience surrogate can be as simple as a First Person POV. As all it means is that the character is designed to have the same reactions the audience would in the situation they would find themselves in.

Course, not speaking for everybody, but majority that would consume the content.

Thus, with Pomni as the audience surrogate, we the audience are thrusted into her shoes the whole time. We feel the fear she does. We are experiencing the circus the same time she does.

Notice the editing in some scenes. Specifically the scenes Pomni is NOT in.

When Pomni is in a scene, there’s usually some change in lighting or camera movement that’s unnerving.

But when she isn’t in a scene, these editing moves aren’t there at all.

Which makes it pretty easy to suggest that these unnerving edits are just what’s going on in Pomni’s head.

So with that, when she’s scared. We’re scared. We’re in her POV.

But she’s scared all the time. That’s just her average personality, right?

Then why make these specific edits?

Let’s think about this:

This character is trapped in a world that isn’t her own. Everything is unusual, and she wants out. But instantly realizes there’s no escape.

And then gets told this is her new home and her new body.

A home she doesn’t recognize. And a body she doesn’t even know the name of.

She lost all sense of identity in an instant. Losing everything about herself in an instant. To the point where she can’t even remember what she was before.

And to make matters worse, because this is unusual, everything SEEMS terrifying. Even to those trying to help her adjust.

The only way out of such a confusing and terrifying world is to escape. Which is what she tries to find the entire time.

So THEREFORE:

The horror is this show is NOT the jumpscares or the creepy images.

The horror is THE VIEWER’S MIND.

This show constantly destroys your mind and breaks you through Pomni.

The idea of losing everything about yourself and being trapped in something unfamiliar forever. That IS terrifying.

If you were in this situation, you’d probably freak out even if you were the bravest being ever.

So it’s not about how scary the scene is on the outside.

It’s about what you’re THINKING that’s scary.

Ragatha’s distress monologue is not scary on the outside. But if you actually take into consideration what she says.

THATS terrifying.

That toys with your mind. And it also toys with Pomni’s.

The monster figure in the episode, the abstraction, is nowhere near as scary as something from FNAF

At least in my opinion.

Especially seeing what the monster does.

It can’t kill you. You’re just glitched.

Or maybe it CAN kill. But we never see that.

Even if Pomni ended up like Ragatha, Caine would’ve eventually came back, found them, and fixed them. And they would’ve been fine.

But then, rather out of nowhere, she STOPS.

And we get this shot.

I talked about this shot before. Said it quickly became one of my favorite shots in media.

This is why.

This shot makes me queasy every time.

The idea of looking in a mirror and not even being able to process or recognize yourself. Unable to even process your own reflection, that’s how unrecognizable you’ve become.

That’s horrifying.

And there’s no dialogue here either.

The episode effectively uses SHOW DONT TELL.

They SHOW you how scary the situation is. They SHOW you a single image that tells you everything.

It would’ve been so easy to just have Pomni say “I’m scared. I don’t recognize myself. Who is this person looking back at me?”

But no

They DON’T insult their audience.

They don’t TELL you.

They let you sink it in yourself.

Pomni doesn’t even have ANY lines after she goes through the exit door. And yet the shots after that with her have been plastered everywhere. Why? Cause she doesn’t need to tell you her mental state. You’re SHOWN it.

Can someone PLEASE tell the live action Avatar The Last Airbender that?!

Speaking of the office scene. This is the only moment in the show that looks… real. Not that cartoony.

Which I guess being in a setting that’s off putting from the rest makes it creepy, right?

Well not really.

Sure she’s running through rooms that seem to be repeating, which that of itself is sanity breaking. It reminds me a lot of another existential horror: The Stanley Parable.

But while that game is excellent and the monologue that plays in that ending is one of my favorites, it IS just telling you the sanity of the player.

Not that there’s anything wrong with this in that games style. There’s no other way that could’ve been done in that game.

Here, again, there’s no dialogue. It’s just Pomni running through these desperate for the exit.

The scary part about this is that we KNOW the absolute DESPERATION she has.

Even if we couldn’t see her face, that’s still across because we’ve seen it the entire episode.

And then there’s her break.

She snaps at the sight of a desk, and gets fangs, that of a FNAF character. But only for a second. She doesn’t even go out at the camera with them. She goes on her merry way.

But Pomni, being the POV character, really doesn’t have much to be scared at about her.

So why is this terrifying? Why not go all the way if this is supposed to be a jumpscare?

Well cause it’s not.

A way to scare your audience is to make them feel dread. Lingering longing dread. Sometimes irrational dread.

People with anxiety especially get scared at things even when they’re completely safe. They feel an unease in their stomachs. They feel unable to move. Unable to speak. Unable to put it into words at all.

It could be because we saw something unnerving that stays in our subconscious. It could be because we’re nervous about something coming up. It could be because we’re in an uncomfortable situation.

Either way, anything even remotely resembling that triggering thing can break someone to feel this anxiety. Sometimes even something as simple as the dark. Even if we know we’re completely safe.

(Speaking as a person with anxiety myself)

She only snaps and cackles when she sees a random desk with a computer. Which also has the headset she put on there. The thing that got her in this.

But you might not have even seen the headset on your first viewing. I didn’t.

But your subconscious sees it. The environment not being like the others aids in unnerving you and making it hard to process what you’re looking at.

Why is this terrifying? Why does it break you? Why does it mentally break Pomni? We don’t know. It just does.

We’ve been stuck going through doors in repeating rooms for hours.

Fear makes you not able to overthink it.

So all of that is build up to the near perfect shot of Pomni at the brink of snapping at the dinner table. With the others voices blurred in her mind. As all she can do is fake a smile.

Terrifying End.

It’s not scary because it’s scary. It’s scary because it toys with the character, and the viewer’s mind

Now, is Digital Circus the first media to do this technique?

No. Not at all.

One of the most acclaimed animated movies, Spirited Away, also uses these exact same tactics for example.

That’s obviously a master class at this tactic. And it scared me as a child as a result. For all these exact same reasons.

It’s not a horror. Not traditionally. It’s not trying to scare you. But it does anyway cause in your mind it’s a scary concept.

And also, well, Spirited Away is a completed story as of the time this post comes out.

And Digital Circus only has one episode. But we did get confirmation this would be a series. And I personally have high hopes that this brilliant tactic is kept. From the trailer, it does seem like they’re not forgetting the stuff I bring up here. So I hope this works out for the creators despite the drama and the internet BS surrounding this show.

But even if not, we at least get one case in this show where we all want to curl up in a ball and cry

Us too Pomni. Us too.

Thank you for reading my… analysis a ton of people made before me, and probably better. Happy day for you all.

[ceiwiart2]

Panic - A Steven Universe Fan Comic

First - Last - Next

[barbiekens]

I’m just having a little anxiety.

Wolf Pack | 1.04 - “Fear and Pain”

[studywgabi]

Let's Make a List of Little, Affordable Things we do to make living with our AUDHD/Depression/Anxiety easier:

Waterproof shower clock

2 hampers: 1 for whites, 1 for colors

Chapstick and copy of key in all coat pockets, all purses, and spares in drawer

[chaeza]

Gladiolus

Gladiolus – from Latin word gladius, a sword. A perennial flower in the iris family. Given at funerals to honor the strength and integrity of the deceased.

Major Character Death, Spoilers, Rook goes by Rook and uses they/them pronouns, elf rook, grief, loss, mourning, alcohol consumption, disassociation, anxiety.

The chatter among the Veilguard, excluding Rook, faded as everyone went from the library to the kitchen. Rook sat in their chair, arms rested on either side, picking at the wood with their fingernails. The large doors that led to the fade shut behind their last departing companion with a reverberating thud. Footsteps – light and smooth – quietly approached them.

Emmrich patted the younger Watcher’s shoulder, urging them to join the rest of their friends. When they didn’t budge, he tried again. He gave them a gentle shake, which still didn’t work. Emmrich stood beside them, bending to one knee and leaning forward with the support of his staff so he could see their face.

“Rook?” Emmrich asked. “Rook, darling.” His voice was more stern, but still gentle. Placing a hand on theirs, he followed their gaze to the side of the bookcase where Lucanis stood minutes ago. He patted their hand, turning back to see them nodding gently, brows knitted together, focused. “Rook, are you alright?” He wasn’t sure they could even hear him. Emmrich was aware of Solas using blood magic to commune with Rook, but he didn’t exactly know what the Dread Wolf was doing to them outside of the times Rook willingly spoke to Solas during their meditations. The professor knew the fade well, but the intentions of a trickster god, and his capabilities, were not something he was well-versed in. He made a mental note to commune with the spirits later as he held Rook’s cold and clammy hand. He resumed matching Rook’s gaze, following their line of sight past the murals on the stairs, lingering just before the hallway to the infirmary.

Rook sighed, shaking their head to clear their mind, turning in their chair towards Emmrich, who was met with the same focused expression. Then, Rook’s face shifted quickly, as if Emmrich wasn’t allowed to see any of their less inspiring expressions. The older watcher’s lips were in a stern line, quickly wavering with a small curve in the corner of his mouth when Rook finally acknowledged him.

“Oh! Hello, love.” Rook said, squeezing Emmrich’s hand and becoming painfully aware that their own hands were icy cold. “Is everything alright?” They hoped they didn’t seem unwell. They only had a headache, and a slight pain in their chest, which they really couldn’t pinpoint the cause of in this moment. They offered a crooked smile, a reassuring squeeze of Emmrich’s fingers, the rings slightly digging into their hand.

Emmrich’s face was stern, analytical. He was looking at them like a problem he had to solve. This much they concluded. The intensity of his scrutinizing eyes made Rook more and more uncomfortable. They turned their head to hide the embarrassed blush that spread across their cheeks. Their pointed ears always gave it away though. Rook raised their eyebrows as they felt the grip of Emmrich’s hand fade. They turned to watch him stand upright, both hands on the staff, still looking down at them.

“You tell me.” He said, offering nothing more. A pause. Before the silence became any more awkward, Rook let out a sharp laugh, much to Emmrich’s dismay. Rook rubbed their hands on their pants and pushed themselves up. They rotated their wrists, a relieving cracking sound in their left one made them wonder if the noise was also the sound of Emmrich’s patience. Although he was ever the patient man, they really didn’t want to go down this line of questioning.

They were fine. The pain that swelled in the hollowness of their chest as they took in a shaky breath told a different tale. The hollowness grew from the first moment they confronted Solas in the fade. Every conversation with Varric after only filled it slightly, but the aching persisted after, and with renewed vigor. Rook had contemplated this each time, before ultimately deciding to distract themselves. There was plenty of distraction to go around these days.

“Come with me, Emmrich.” Rook said, sliding their hand into his and nodding towards the stairs. “We can discuss this in private.” They offered a small smile, purely performative, a peace offering. Emmrich returned with a much warmer, genuine smile. He hoped it broke through whatever mask they had put up. He hoped his eyes held a warmth that let them know they were safe to tell him anything. So, they walked hand-in hand to the meditation chamber, Emmrich stealing a glance to the infirmary door which hadn’t opened in days.

Upon entering the meditation chamber – Rook’s room – Rook deflated against the door, blowing out all the air left in their lungs. They sniffed, quickly going to the wardrobe and grabbing two glasses and some alcohol they found recently during the team’s travels.

“Would you like a drink?” Rook offered Emmrich a glass half filled with brown liquor. He politely declined with a raised hand and small shake of his head, careful not to disrupt the well coiffed formation. They shrugged, and downed the glass with one gulp. They hissed as they put the glasses and liquor back in the wardrobe, stifling a cough.

“I wasn’t aware you imbibed.” Emmrich said, though his tone made them aware he was curious. When did they start drinking? Why? Should they be?

Rook put their hands on their hips, responding with a breathy laugh. “It’s recent,” they said, “sometime after we got here. I just -” A sigh. They knew it was reckless. They knew better. “Everything is so much, and Varric…” A sharp pain, again. “Varric was-” A pause, as they rapidly searched for the right words. Their brain shuffled between two words as Emmrich inhaled sharply. He knew. Rook knew. They were stuck between the words “just” and “always.” Between describing what Varric had told them just nowin the library below, and what they remembered him always telling them during their months long hunt for Solas. “-just now telling me I need to trust you all…” The truth, then.

Emmrich nodded, hands laid on one another in front of him. He sighed, understanding, and reassuring. For a moment, Rook thought he was going to say “Ah, yes. I had a nice conversation with him the other day. It is truly remarkable the recovery he’s made in the weeks here!” He would be interested in seeing how the wound made by the lyrium dagger healed in the fade. He would be with Bellara and they would excitedly discuss their theories until Varric shooed them out of the infirmary, grumbling about mages and their weird shit. Instead, Emmrich, stepped forward and placed a hand on their shoulder.

“Rook,” was all Emmrich could say before the tears started flowing. Rook sobbed into his chest, loud and broken. The hollowness threatened to consume them. Emmrich embraced them, hugging tighter as their breath came too fast from choking on sobs. All Rook could hear was the throbbing of their own heartbeat in their ears, and the faint steady beat of Emmrich’s. They squeezed him tighter, knowing all too well this would not fix the hollowness inside them. Their breath slowed, and Emmrich stroked their hair and rubbed between their aching shoulder blades. They both knew this was a pivotal moment in mourning. The truth and acceptance of loss. Grief that hollowed out a hole the same size and shape of the departed in the hearts of the living. It could never be filled exactly, but it could heal, and honoring the dead was a balm. One that hurt like alcohol on a wound, but necessary.

Emmrich kissed the top of their head. It was a promise- one that told them they could stay like this as long as Rook needed. Their sobs turned into soft whimpers and sniffles before quickly rising to wails again. Emmrich wasn’t so different when his parents died, he thought about himself. A small pang in his chest as well, even after all these years. He closed his eyes and laid his cheek on their head, holding them close as he watched the fish lazily swim about the aquarium.

END.

Note: I lost my father June 2, 2024. I realized as I was writing this piece that it has been 6 months since he passed. I miss him greatly. So, naturally, I projected my grief onto Rook by having Varric be a father figure. Thank you for reading! posted on ao3 as well.

[a-whiff-of-a-dream]

alright this has been sitting in my mind ever since i first heard it a few days ago, but what Emmrich says about his fear of death in his first scene? It hit differently. Im gonna elaborate underneath the cut.

(also this might be too much personal info for some, but anyways)

'Thats when I discovered I possess a great terror of dying' is putting something I have felt for close to 3 years now so... precisely into words.

I have spend so much trying to find words for this feeling, for this fear, and have not yet managed to communicate it with anyone really so far, because the words have just... not been there.

'It goes beyond dread. It cant be reasoned with or soothed over. It comes without warning, in the dead of night, in sunlit streets. A raw, strangling fear, struck somewhere deep past the heart.'

It hides behind every corner of your life. You can go on with your day like any other person, you can be alone at home or out with friends, seeing the world, and suddenly youre hit with this 'someday it wont matter anymore and you wont feel this feeling and never smell the air again' and you cant outrun it.

Its something you cant change, something maybe not even worth mentioning because there is no way out anyways, so why bother and try to find a reason within it, when there is non to begin with?

'Oddly, I discovered I wasnt alone. I debated this fear with friends, I argued with teachers... Yet... It lingered.'

Others might feel the same, and yes its comforting to a degree, but still it wont make it go away. It wont make it better or unbearable somehow. Because its unreasonable. You know it is. Thats why Ive burried it so deep within me and try not to spiral into despair when these thoughts occure.

I am not really sure where I am heading with this but I guess I needed to get these thoughts out into the world somehow. Because hearing this, having it put into words so nicely? It helped. It made me shiver and it has lingered in my head for a while now, but it also gave me words for something I have not yet come around wording myself.

[wejustvibing]

day ruined

[hollislawson]

Hazel sat quietly at a small table in Sunshine Bakery, his hands wrapped around a mug of tea that had long gone cold. It was a relatively busy day, plenty of conversations, footsteps and general clattering, but none of it seemed to register with him. He took a deep breath, trying to bring himself out of his own thoughts, his fingers beginning to tap idly against the mug. He glanced up when the door jingled, his heart rate spiking for no apparent reason. Something inside him just knew they were going to approach him, but, he wasn't exactly sure why. Quickly, he looked away, his eyes returning to his untouched tea. But, he couldn't shake the feeling. Unsure whether or not to speak up, he waited to see if his hunch was correct.

@palmviewstarters

[onlyhams]

unfortunately I suspect that the one sure fire way to make one’s health anxiety prophecies come true is to not get something checked out 💕

[mysharona1987]

[whumpy-writings]

Sold

Of Vampires and Men Masterlist

Takes place between Recollections and The Blood Market

CW: Vampires, slavery, verbal abuse, dehumanization, restraints, scars, non-sexual nudity, anxiety, panic attack, multiple whumpers, multiple whumpees, carewhumper

Master's man, Jerel, bound 023's wrists in front of him with coarse rope. 023's breath caught in his throat and every inch of him trembled. He was being sold. After everything Master had put him through, after the years of torture and abuse, after his final, desperate, escape attempt, Master was throwing him out. Like a toy that he had grown bored of.

"Cut that shit out," Jerel snapped. 023 tried to steady his breathing, he tried to stop the tears that were flowing down his face. Jerel grabbed 023's arm and hauled him up the stairs.

He led him through the house right to the door, opening it to reveal a calm, warm summer night. A carriage was waiting. Jerel settled himself on the seat and forced 023 onto his knees on the floor.

023 had a sudden flashback of the last time he was in a carriage. When he was first delivered into this hell. He couldn't suppress a strangled whimper of fright.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a bloodbag," Jerel said. He rapped on the ceiling and the carriage started to roll. "Radford knows that he won't come anywhere close to making a profit on you. He won't even break even. But he dosen't want to look at you anymore." He grabbed 023's chin. "You've really fucked up, 023. Radford can overlook many flaws, but he can't overlook disobedience."

"I-I'm sorry," 023 whispered.

Jerel rolled his eyes. "It's a little too late for that. Blood merchants are in town, so we're getting rid of you. Though I don't know if they'll even buy such an ugly fucker."

He leaned over and smiled at 023. "But if they do buy you, there's so many places you can be sent. I personally hope that you're sent to a university. The scientists there are always looking for fresh humans to experiment on. After all, test subjects don't last long."

"Or you might end up with another private owner. I'm sure you would like that. Another owner to disrespect. Most owners aren't as patient as Radford. I know if I was your owner, the first thing I'd do is cut out your tongue so I wouldn't have to listen to your pathetic pleas." 023 closed his eyes and swallowed the cry in his throat. "Wherever you end up, I hope that it hurts. That's what you deserve."

The carriage rolled to a stop. Jerel opened the door and gestured for 023 to follow. 023 struggled to his feet, his legs shaking so hard they could barely support his weight. Jerel grabbed 023's arm and led him toward a table.

"I have a human for you," he said. The vampire at the table had a bored expression.

"Strip it," he said.

023 didn't have a shirt, so Jerel grabbed his trousers and pulled them down. 023 felt a twinge of shame, but he was too scared to feel more than that.

The vampire behind the table stepped in front of 023. He grabbed his chin, turning his head left and right to examine his neck.

"What's with these wounds?" He asked, tapping on the long, twin scabs that ran from 023's ear to clavicle.

"He tried to escape, so his owner taught him a lesson," Jerel said.

The vampire's eyes narrowed. "Is that so? Have you learned your lesson, bloodbag?"

"Y-yes sir," 023 said shakily. "I won't try to run away again."

"Good. Open your mouth."

023 did as instructed. He barely stopped himself from flinching when the vampire reached his fingers into his mouth. He prodded at his gums.

"His teeth are good," the vampire murmured. He withdrew his fingers. "Unbind his wrists, I want to see them."

023 looked at the ground as his wrists were untied. The vampire grabbed his arm and looked at it. "Lots of feeding scars. That'll affect his value. And what's this brand?"

"Just his identification number, 023. He was surplus army property."

The vampire nodded. He walked around 023 in a slow circle.

"Any illness or major injuries?"

"He's had a few broken bones. All have healed well."

"How's the temperament?"

"He's not aggressive, but quite skittish. He's inclined to anxiousness. He's obedient though, for the most part."

The vampire sighed.

"I'll offer you 500 for him."

"500!" Jerel sputtered. "That's ridiculous. He's worth at least 2,000."

"There's no profit at that price. Best case scenario, I get 1,500 when I sell him to a dealer. Worse case, I get 300 at a blood butcher. All the scars show how much he's used up. Nobody wants to pay that much money for used goods."

023 eyes burned with tears of humiliation.

"I can't let him go for 500. He's still in his twenties, there're plenty of years left in him. 1,400?"

"I'll take him off your hands for 1,000. As a favor. Take it or leave it."

"Fine. It's a deal." They shook hands.

"Get dressed," the vampire said. 023 pulled up his trousers and wrapped his arms around himself. The vampires discussed the details of the sale, but he wasn't really listening. Master didn't want him, the merchant didn't expect to make any money on him. He really was a worthless, pathetic bloodbag.

"Come with me," the vampire ordered. 023 followed him to a wooden building. He opened the doors and walked in. 023 followed, and immediately his eyes watered from the stench of unwashed bodies. In the dimness, he could just make the huddled shapes of about a dozen humans. The vampire led him to a wall. "Kneel." 023 knelt and the vampire pulled on a metal chain attached to the wall. 023 let the vampire clamp the shackles around his wrists. Without another word, he left.

...

The ride to Tervis was bumpy and uneventful. Now, 023 sat in a room with all the other humans waiting to be sold. This was an invitation-only sale where those involved in the blood industry came to buy humans. There were vampires who made human food, like bakers, in attendance, as well as those who ran blood cafes, or had their own private human selling businesses. 023 hadn't known there were so many vampires involved in the human business, but he guessed it made sense.

"I heard that the blood butchers are the worst," one of the humans whispered. 023 hadn't bothered to learn names. There wasn't any point. "You're kept drugged on venom and bled every single day. Most humans don't last more than a month. The blood butchers come around at the end of the sale and buy up whoever is left for a discount."

023's chest tightened. He didn't want to go to a blood butcher. Or the university. He didn't want to be hurt anymore. He had overheard one of the humans talking about how some humans were purchased by vampire business owners to help out with various tasks, in addition as acting at bloodbags. That sounded nice. If he was expected to work, his new master probably wouldn't beat him too badly.

The dealer, Denis, approached with a well-dressed vampire and a human. The human looked ... good. They were clean, with well-maintained clothes. A leather collar encircled their neck.

"As you can see ma'am, we have a wide variety of humans for you to select from. Any of them would be an excellent addition to your bakery." 023 sat up a little straighter. The vampire baker looked kind. He would gladly work for her.

"What do you think, sweet?" She asked her human. "Do you see anybody you'd like to work with?"

Her human bit their lip. Their eyes swept over the humans, until they landed on 023. His heart skipped a beat. He locked eyes with them, silently pleading. Please. But they gave a tiny shake of their head and moved on to the rest of the line. 023 muffled a sob. He didn't know what he'd done wrong. The baker's human picked someone else, and 023 didn't have the heart to watch as they walked away.

023's stomach was twisted with fear. The night would be over soon, and he still hadn't been sold. He didn't want to be bought by a blood butcher, he didn't want to be bled to death.

Every muscle in his body tensed as Denis approached with another vampire. Was this the blood butcher?

"As you can see, Rackham," Denis said, "we have plenty of humans to choose from. This one right here has never been bitten."

Rackham nodded. "My clients like fresh humans. Do you have any others?"

023 deflated. This vampire was probably some sort of human dealer or cafe owner. Of course he wouldn't go for a scarred human.

"That's it?" Rackham asked. "I was hoping to get a couple more. If you don't have any other fresh ones, bitten is fine. As long as the temperament is good." 023 felt a spark of hope.

Denis nodded and pointed out a two other humans. "And then we have this one," Denis gestured at 023. "He's obedient but has fits of anxiety. I'll give you a discount on him."

Rackham looked at 023. 023's palms sweated and it took all his strength to stop his body from trembling. Rackham walked over to him and crouched down. His looked over 023 from head to toe.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you?" he said softly.

023's throat was dry but he forced himself to nod. He couldn't contain his shaking anymore. Fuck. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Rackham was saying something, but he couldn't hear him. He was dying. He couldn't breathe and he was dying and he was going to be hurt-

A hand landed on his shoulder. He snapped his eyes up to Rackham. "Ple-please sir," he gasped. "Please don't hurt me."

"You're okay, I'm not gonna hurt you," Rackham said.

"I'm sorry," Denis said. "I have a couple other options for you-"

"No, I'll take this one," Rackham interrupted. "Thank you."

023 stared at Rackham with wide eyes. His heart pounded and tears coursed down his cheeks. The panic attack had him fully in his clutches.

"Are you sure?" Denis asked.

"Yes," Rackham said decisively, standing up. "He seems like a sweet human. I'm sure that once he's settled in with an owner his anxiety will calm down."

023 could barely comprehend what was happening. But as his panic dulled from a roar to a whisper, he realized that Rackham and Denis were shaking hands.

Rackham had bought four other humans in addition to 023. Denis secured each humans wrists before leading them to Rackham's waiting cart. 023 stumbled as he followed the others.

"Woah there," Rackham said, grabbing him around the waist before he fell to the ground. 023 suddenly found he didn't have the strength to stand. He went limp in Rackham's arms, struggling to stay conscious.

"Poor thing. Let's get you to your new home."

Taglist: @thecitythatdoesntsleep @whump-cravings @thecyrulik

@neverthelass @whumpsy-daisy @the-monarch-whumperfly

@aswallowimprisoned @secretwhumplair @whumpzone

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @nicolepascaline @susiequaz12

@itsleelove @pumpkin-spice-whump @wiwinia

@sunflower1000 @whump-blog @melancholy-in-the-morning

@suspicious-whumping-egg @whumpsday @ceph-the-ghost-writer

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@whumpshaped @dragonqueenslayer6

Ask to be added or removed!

[thelatekayejames]

open starter (capped! please don't reply but feel free to dm me for headcanons!)

when: sunday, day 1 of field days

where: a clearing in echo acres or some private corner of a field/the town green, whatever works best!

≽·≼

Team building was all well and good, in an abstract sort of way, but Kui swiftly realized if they were going to be any use to their Court whatsoever during these challenges, it would be necessary to temper their involvement, back out sometimes just for the sake of remaining functional. They wished this realization had come a little bit softer, a little less intrusively, prior to spacing out at the archery range. Residual prickles of shame still raced up and down their spine, wrecking havoc on their breathing. It was more restful away from the chaos, and they set to weaving flower crowns to soothe their rattled nerves. Some unknowable stretch of time later, Kui started out of their reverie as another citizen joined them. "Oh, sorry," they apologized, removing their headphones. "Did you want...?" They held out a wreath of multilayered daisies and dandelions. "You know, for the, ah... team spirit? I've got a bunch, if you want a different color."