thegothicviking

[thegothicviking]

*TW Suicidal thoughts*

Sucks so much that I don't have any close friends. I am either scaring everyone away or they give up on me after meeting me a few times.

I could not be on social media or on my phone for weeks and nobody notices it.

Especially Norwegians are all about how "we have to help and contact each other and talk about suicidal thoughts!" Meanwhile as soon as you mentions it, you are met with hostility, shame or annoyment.

Its so fake how everyone all of a sudden cares about you when they write "memories" that you "shared with them" on your memorial page. After you're dead.

But nobody gives a damn when you are still alive and there is still a chance to be "saved".

I don't want to mention any names here...but I sadly that the caring and empathy for whenever someone is struggling is not given to everyone in the Rammstein fandom.

I have seen mutuals (again I am not mentioning names) immideatly reach out to someone as soon as they have posted about deppression. Meanwhile I have posted pretty much the same...but I have had to delete this post as no one cared for weeks...

Nobody cared about what I uploaded on Ao3 either. I was sos proud. But no kudos..no comments..no messages about it...nothing.

And I did try to promote. But what's the point when you have to nag?

Guess I am a shitty writer..

Wish I had another talent though. Something else that people might care about in the fandom. But I don't. I lost my only "fan". I lost my motivation to write. I hope that someone else would see what I wrote and like it. But after months of trying to promote it...I gave up. Deleted it. I got nothing. No kudos..no comments.

There are people here on Tumblr that I thought or hoped.. I would get close to. But I didn't. I haven't. And so whenever I write some deppressive shit, it gets un-noticed. No DM or heartfelt asks.. I have two people that seems to care on instagram. So I guess there is that.

The Easter is going to be lonely. As usual. People here have casted me out either because of rumors or because I've spoiled my chances. Some friendships that I have lost have been my own fault. Fine. That was all me. But most of them simply gave up or "grew up" and became all "proper". Or they decided to turn their back towards me as soon as they either got whatever they wanted or as soon as I asked for a shoulder to cry on, after being their free therapist for years..

And now there is a new addition to the family. And so I get forgotten. God forbid that I can have some attention on me.

Yeah. I'm starting to sound like a bitter bitch now. I'll bet I get lots of angry Anon's for this.

...

Don't know what else to say. I want to finish my fic series. Even though nobody will give me any feedback. Despite having ADHD and jumping from project to project.. I hate leaving thiings un-finished. Especially this fic series that I have been working on since 2018. But I have to admit; after finally posting something official about it (after so many years) and feeling so proud, but not recieving ANY FEEDBACK of it...No one can blame for feeling a lil' salty and deppressed.

[thegothicviking]

Imagine if that was a piece of meat instead...

all the blood.

all the chaos.

Why does he need a- … oh

[thegothicviking]

Context: years ago I "made this" scenario/mini fic (?) all from scratch! (yes I did type all the color and font changes every time and I didn't copy or paste anything although I should have as this took me a solid 3-5 hours to make!😑)

Glad I screenshotted it or I probably would have never found it again! Anygays..here is:

4 of the Rammstein boys if they were in early 00's chat rooms!

Enjoy this shit show ❤:

[thegothicviking]

The last two lines sums it all up so perfectly ❤👌

tbh shoutout to the over 40s on tumblr, sorry the internet acts like yall belong in the retirement home when ur literally just regular adults with hobbies

[thegothicviking]

Perfume bottle PNGs

[thegothicviking]

Typical Ollie 🥰

Found on Marionyrp Instagram

[thegothicviking]

11.4.1971-11.4.2025

Alles gute zum Geburtstag😌

[thegothicviking]

May not necessarily be someone swimming...could be one of those floating markers too.

Sources 🍑 🌞 💙

[thegothicviking]

Flake out of context (actually, just him being him) [2/?]

[thegothicviking]

Could be a wink..could be leemus? 🤷 (which is involuntary twitches caused by some temporarily nerve-tightness/nerve-irritation. Usually the eyes are affected but any nerve of the body can be affected)

Christoph Schneider back on DW drums - Interview / Rammstein Stadium Tour 2019

[thegothicviking]

Aka Hulder and her demon bf/gf! ❤

Demon Lover From Lustige Blätter, 1905.

[thegothicviking]

So...like Harry Potter?

[thegothicviking]

Schneider performing Keine Lust at the Europe Drum Show | 🥁

[thegothicviking]

His little hat reminds me of what we in Norwegian call: "Babylue" (Babybeanie/babyhat). The kind of hat that you give to newborn babies after wrapping them up in blankets!

Paul Landers ♥️🌹

[thegothicviking]

Flake Lorenz's costume - close up

Flake Lorenz's costume is displayed at the physical Rammstein store, which gives visitors a great opportunity to view it up close and personal. It is really interesting to see how the designers made it look like it's made out of totally different fabrics when viewed from a distance.

The jacket and pants are made of painted denim! I would never have guessed. While the jacket and pants are made of pretty sturdy fabric, the shirt is thinner and softer. Flake's golden halo is made of gold-painted strips.

All photos by me.

[thegothicviking]

Just imagine how HUGE this was for them, back then. Coming from the strict DDR where you were mostly not allowed to travel anywhere and then they were allowed to go to AMERICA???!??

It must have been so phenomal to them! ❤

[thegothicviking]

Also Feeling B's singer, Aljoscha is buried there... at Hiddensee. 🥲