#or DC villains
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baldurs-gate-official · 1 year ago
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Gortash styles his hair the same way this one weaboo guy I went to highschool with did after he started watching Naruto
#bg3#gortash#text post#very random but#i lucked out on highschools#mine didnt have a bullying issue. popular kids were 'popular' because of how kind they were#so because of this#sometimes people would cosplay to school#we had this one naruto cosplayer who would show up in the full costume contacts wig jumpsuit all of it#and they often roped their friend into cosplaying sasuke (they usually just did the wig and contacts tho)#it wasnt unusual to hear them yelling “NARUTO! SASUKE!” at each other from across the hall#the guy in the post was not either of them#he was a different guy just trying to look like sasuke#and then we had this one guy who would cosplay as different johnny depp characters#or DC villains#all closet cosplays and honestly it was pretty impressive how he just threw things together and went all out like that#my favourite is one time i saw him in the hall aggressively taping pencils to his fingers. so i asked what he was doing and he said#he was cosplaying as edward scissor hands and got in trouble so now he was edward pencil hands#king shit#he was so mad about it lmao#anyways highschool was interesting and i sat beside naruto in 3 classes#OH OH ALSO SOME PEOPLE DRESSED UP IN FULL LOLITA CLOTHES#by some i mean....3? not a regular occurrence but not uncommon#one of them was my first boyfriend. hes very into pretty dresses#oh and we had this one guy from the drama department (should have mentioned it was an art school) that wore feather boas pretty regularly#and the dude that cosplayed a lot of JDepp and DC. he got a girlfriend and theyd match#it would have been wholesome if it werent a toxic ass relationship#theyd unironically dress up as harley and joker and say they were just like them#anyway im going to shut up now#q
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fanaticalthings · 4 months ago
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Jason Todd with his goons:
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bruciemilf · 5 months ago
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It’s always “evil Superman!!!!” this, or “villain justice league!!!” that.
I want an AU of villain! Bruce who’s absolutely dog-shit at being evil.
Firstly: The worst thing he can think of doing is not donating to animal shelters or charities . immediately feels so guilty he throws up.
Secondly: The second a child cries because of him, he’d freeze up. Stand like a statue, unmoving and petrified. No more evil, but just today.
He ends up helping the city by accident more often than not, and to his immortal disappointment, Gotham loves both the Bat and Bruce Wayne.
“alfred come look at my evil plan”
“Yes, sir, “ Alfred is very indulgent. He does his best to pretend it’s actually good. “ ‘Don’t say please to the barista’. Getting bold, are we?”
EVERYTIME He and Clark meet and Bruce monologues about pulverizing him to dust, Clark (and the League) looks at him like this:
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“I can make him worse,” GOOD FOR YOU!!! Clark can make him into his malewife and adopt his 7 evil sidekicks who actually know how to villain. Especially the little one.
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ditzybat · 7 months ago
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i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.
like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.
cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:
random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?
jason: hey tim -
cass: wrong.
jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck
cass: nu-uh, this is from cain
jason:
cass:
jason: well this got awkward…
steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe
tim: wrong wayne
steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —
tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you
damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect
tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too
damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement
tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it
lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain
bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…
shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child
tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt
bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian
cass: too late, we’re blood
shiva: see!
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incorrectbatfam · 10 months ago
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Gotham minimum wage is like 5x the national average to discourage people from getting PhDs
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thisdudedoesntexist · 8 days ago
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Danny doesn't know he's the Ghost King, or that he's scaring the shit out of other people.
So, Danny and Jazz moved to Gotham for a new start in their life and un-life ( ignore that he and Jazz are rather young to be moving across the country, ignore that his parents died saving them from the GIW ). They've got an "ok" apartment, and a job at this cute little flower shop run by an eccentric "possibly former supervillains" lesbian couple.
He's even making friends with the ghosts. Like Richard and Mary Grayson (trapeze incident) who are teaching him to fight like a human, if Danny didn't know better he'd think they were stalking those vigilantes. or Dr. Hamish (killer clown?) who's helping Jazz with her studies.
Apparently some time before they met Danny they were just shades who couldn't even manifest, weird. There's also the weirdly active shades telling him where all the good spots to watch the city are and how to find the cheapest prices at stores.
Nobody knows what's wrong with this creepy kid. Every time some mugger even looks in the scrawny boy's direction their loved ones show up and yell at them until the kid's down the street.
Batman tried to investigate the potential meta until he saw his parents waving in a nearby window. Danny's neighbor swares his grandma is haunting him and Danny for some reason, and any time the Joker goes within a city block of ivy and Harley's flower shop/home he becomes blind and deaf by the sheer number of his "volunteers" telling him to die.
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arkangelo-7 · 2 months ago
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I need Battison to have a Robin.
I need him to carry around a little bundle of joy in his arms. I need him to risk his life saving him from the movie’s big bad. I need him to hold his tiny hands or cradle his tiny face. I need him to crack the smallest of smiles when Robin makes a pun.
I need him to walk into the penthouse, tired and angry and sad, and see his little Robin sprawled across the floor, giggling as his crayons draw him and Alfie and B—their little family.
I him to crawl out of the darkness with Robin. His Robin.
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anxi04 · 4 months ago
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tim meeting lex at a gala when he’s young. he knows lex is a villain but he’s also the only vaguely smart person there and he has a look of disgust every time someone says anything remotely dumb, which tim relates to SO much.
meanwhile lex seeing this kid who is so clearly going to be a supervillain when he grows older and quite honestly this child scares him a little. so he indulges him just enough to be on his good side. lex just about has a heart attack when tim off handedly mentions one of lex’s very secret, only 6 people know about it and 5 of them are hidden away and can’t see their family because of what they know, project.
every time they see each other at a gala there’s just a sense of “oh thank god someone smart is here” and spend half the time politely shit talking the idiots
cut to 17 yo tim drake (never aging again) and he just. shows up in lexs house one day like “give me the blessing to marry kon and i’ll tell you the absolutely groundbreaking gossip i just found out about rebecca” he gets his blessing without lex even questioning it. he knows tim drake is red robin anyway who else would be able to? he is a little disappointed he went the hero route but out of all heroes red robin is closest to becoming a supervillain anyway so it’s fine
lex however does not know any of the other batfams identity. brucie wayne is a fucking idiot who can’t tie his shoes (lex watches him stuff the laces in his shoes once) dick grayson is a Cop(negative), jason todd is dead, stephanie brown is the daughter of a villain and would probably want to be as far away from that life as possible, damian wayne he could buy as robin but there’s no way anyone biologically related to brucie could be even remotely competent, duke thomas seems too normal, and he can find nothing on cass wayne except she seems too sweet. besides tim’s competent enough to hide his identity from his family. especially the wayne family.
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glow-in-the-dark-death · 1 year ago
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Ghosts Tell Me
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Ghosts gather near the place where something bad is going to happen,
Danny with his ghost sense tends to notice before anyone else and tends to react outwardly before the danger even happens, gaining a reputation of seeing the future,
Ghosts also tell Danny things, causing Danny to know more about situations and the people around him, it comes of as suspicious.
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Danny pulling away a snack from his coworker: "Careful your allergic to these ingredients!"
Coworker: "How the hell...I've never mentioned that to anyone."
~
Danny on a phone call with his friends while doing his nightly walks in Gotham: "Yeah so apparently the second Robin who is now Red Hood has very personal beef with the clown here cuz he got killed by him after being sold out by his bio mom, which really sucks for the poor guy."
Oracle who has been keeping an Eye on Danny cuz he's very suspicious from an outsiders pov: "Hey B, I think we have a problem."
~
Danny notices that the ghost in Gotham tends to gather where something bad is going to happen, the more they are the worse the situation will be: *glowing smoke leaves from his mouth* "Yikes! Very bad vibes here, nope!"
Gothamites who at this point recognize him and know the drill and quickly pack up their things to leave:
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Just an Idea
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alienzil · 7 months ago
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Nanny Danny
“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.
He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman.  He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…
It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.
“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”
“Take him out.”
“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”
“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”
“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”
“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”
*****
Two years later
“Call them again”
“Sir, I’ve called them seven times. They won’t answer.”
“Then call another agency!”
“There isn’t another agency, Sir”
Lex glared at his assistant who stared back at him impassively. Mercy stood by the door staring off into the distance and pretending she didn’t notice him being bested by his own secretary.
He stopped himself from shouting again and took a deep breath before asking, “Then what, exactly, do you propose I do Mrs. Anderson? Adjust my entire schedule around naptimes? Find a toddler size lab coat and safety goggles and bring my son with me to tour the new clean energy project on Thursday? Perhaps buy a tiny business suit while I’m at it for the next board meeting?”
“I’m not suggesting anything of the sort, Mr. Luthor. I’m telling you that no childcare agency in Metropolis will return my calls anymore. Most won’t even answer.  You’ve gone through 27 nannies in the last 3 months. You need someone better suited to your son’s…special needs.”
Lex snorted. “Special needs might be a bit of understatement. He can lift a car over his head and his favorite word right now is No.”
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for…clarifying the situation, Marjorie. If there’s nothing else, you can leave.”
His secretary didn’t move. She looked at him like she was waiting for something and now that he was paying attention, he saw she was holding a file.  “Did you have a suggestion?”
Looking pleased with herself she responded, “Actually, yes, I did.”
“Well?”
She set the file on his desk and flipped it open. He looked down at the first page and raised an eyebrow, “What am I looking at here?”
“This,” she responded pulling out the top set of papers and spreading them out, “is the employee file and background check for Daniel J. Fenton, an intern that started in our engineering department about 4 months ago. He has one sibling, two parents and several close friends he regularly meets with. His current supervisor has nothing but good things to say about him and reports he gets along well with all his coworkers.”
She set out the next set of papers, neatly arranging them on the desk to be easily seen. “These are newspaper articles and screenshots of social media posts regarding a small town vigilante locally known as Phantom. The same small town, Mr. Fenton is from coincidentally. Also coincidentally, Phantom made his first appearance only a few weeks after Mr. Fenton was involved in a minor accident in his parent’s home laboratory when he was 14, the medical records for the incident are included.”
“Hmm,” Lex said observing several photos of Phantom and a younger Fenton arranged in order of similar poses and facial expressions and printed out side by side.
“Finally,” she said handing him the last set of papers directly, “this would be a report from the lab Mr. Fenton works in from an incident that happened yesterday. A test with a new protype went wrong and started a fire. Everyone evacuated per protocol when the alarms went off but one of the other interns was working on a programming issue off to the side of the lab while wearing headphones and didn’t hear the alarm or notice the fire. Mr. Fenton noticed his absence and returned to the lab to get him out.” She stopped talking and let him look at the last several pages in the file, a series of photographs of the lab.
“Is this ice?”
“Yes, it is. It’s several inches thick and covers half of the lab. It completely put out the fire leaving minimal damage.”
“This machine was moved?”
“It was. It was very close to the flames and would have required replacement if exposed to extreme heat or cold. That particular piece of equipment also weighs several thousand pounds and was bolted to the floor.”
Lex read through everything in detail then clasped his hands under his chin and stared at the photo of Daniel Fenton for several moments before turning back to his waiting secretary.
“Have HR send Mr. Fenton up. I’d like to offer him a promotion.”
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varpusvaras · 6 months ago
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Titans: ...what do you have there, Roy?
Roy: oh! This is my daughter, Lian! Say hi Lian!
Titans: She doesn't much look like you...
Roy: oh yeah she takes after her mom more
Titans: and who is she?
Roy: Chessire
Titans: ......the assassin who has tried to kill us so many times?
Roy: Yep!
Titans: ......okay, warn us next time when you get into a relationship, please-
-
Roy: Hey! I know it's been a while, but I thought I should tell you, I'm dating someone!
Titans: oh, we're happy for you! Who is it?
Roy: Red Hood
Titans:
Roy:
Titans:
Roy:
Titans: .....the same Red Hood who cut off people's heads and put them in a bag, attacked the Tower and has tried to kill or maim Batman and everybody else in Gotham multiple times?
Roy: Yep! 🥰
Titans: .......we are sensing a pattern here and it's a worrying one-
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dyinggirldied · 10 months ago
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I love the tropes where Danny is the normal while Tucker and Sam are fucking freaks, especially if those two just so non discreet about it.
So now, imagine Amity Park, after GIW has run rampant on it.
Tucker, shamelessly using magic for any convenience between himself and his lovers. A headcanon of mine is that Danny has chronic pain after the portal accident and Tucker liked to make it so Danny's bed and pillow softer and doesn't hesitate one bit to curse those mean Danny's harms.
Sam, likewise, uses her plant magic to trap those pesky ghost hunters and makes life difficult for them in general.
Tucker and Sam just don't expect for the GIW to report them to the Justice League. Or for the heroes to really come arresting them.
Danny, as expected, blows up.
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dclovesdanny · 10 months ago
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DcxDp prompts
2/4
Danny Fenton, a new student at Gotham University, is 100% going to be a villain. Everyone knows it. The teachers, the students, even the dean knew that Fenton was destined to become a terrifying rogue. They all also were going to delay it as much as possible.
No one ever picked on Fenton, and any bullied kid quickly learned to flock to him, and he’d protect them. The teachers and RAs learned to turn a blind eye to the explosions from the student labs, and anytime Fenton had trouble in class, his friends quickly helped him understand so he wouldn’t get upset.(teachers debated on just marking everything correct, but they didn’t know if that would offend him more)
Everyone knew Fenton was a tragedy away from becoming the next Gotham Rogue, and given how he managed to build a rocket launcher for paint ball with half an hour, no one wanted to know what he would do with real anger behind him.
Danny loved his new school! Everyone was really nice to him. His friends were always willing to help him when he needed it, and always hyped him up. The teachers were always nice to him, and no one bothered him when he was inventing. The best part was no one bullied him! He loved Gotham.
His only concern was why his classmates got so pale when he talked about the local villains.
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pokeberry5 · 1 year ago
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boy hostage (spiritual successor to this)
big brother to the rescue:
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incorrectbatfam · 3 months ago
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Jason: *wrestling something into a box*
Bruce: What are you doing?
Jason: Making the world a better place, starting with my eBay feedback page.
[later]
The Joker, heavily maimed, writing his review: Instead of office chair, package contained bobcat. Would not buy again.
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fanaticalthings · 10 months ago
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Bruce coming home one day to find Robin Jason clinging onto a chandelier with Dick below him cheering him on.
Bruce: Jason what are you doing?
Jason: Dick said that you missed his antics after he moved out and so he’s teaching me how to be a better son
Dick: After this we’re going to drive the Batmobile into the bay :D
Jason: We’re going to what? I mean yeah! Right into the water.
Jason trying to whisper to Dick: Dick I can’t swim though
This just further fuels the chaotic dynamic of Dick and Jason during a time where Dick was still going through his teenage angst and was absolutely not a benevolent role model LMAO
I mentioned it in this post, but it's just so funny to me to imagine a Jason who grew up with an absolutely WILD Dick Grayson as an older brother, while the younger batkids grew up with a more mellowed out and mature (arguable but when measured against the other kids, he wins by a landslide) Dick Grayson.
Robin!Jason era:
Dick: You wanna go out and get high?
Jason: I can't, I have homework.
Dick, sputtering: HOMEWORK?
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Dick, about to do an elaborate (and totally not dangerous) acrobatic move in the manor: Watch this, littlewing
Jason: You shouldn't do that, it'll make Bruce upset.
Dick, on the brink of angry tears: Why are you like this.
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Jason, dejected: Listen, I know you don't approve of me because you think I'm not good enough as Robin, but-
Dick: Not good enough as Robin? I don't care about that, I just think you're a little bitch
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Dick taking Jason out on a hangout for the first time: OK, looks like I got my work cut out for me. Take out a notepad and write everything down. I will NOT have my successor embarrass me like this. So what you wanna do to piss off Bruce-
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[Years later, Jason returning to Gotham with the fury of a thousand suns and the chaos to match it]: I'm gonna make your life a living HELL, Bruce
Dick, older and relatively more chilled out: Okayyyyy, maybe let's just– calm down a lil, haha, no need for the theatrics
Jason, betrayed, observing a Dick Grayson who is teaching his new younger siblings to behave and be mature: Dick, what the FUCK
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Present!Dick, mentoring Tim: Make sure not to be too impulsive, don't wanna raise Bruce's blood pressure
Red Hood!Jason spying on them from afar: Who even ARE you??
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Jason: So you teach me ALL of that, only to turn into the ONE thing you despised so greatly all those years ago
Dick, sweating: Well-
Jason: I'm ASHAMED. How can you be worthy of being called my PREDECESSOR?
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