#okay ive calmed down now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

3416 · 8 months ago

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i never read the books but everyone mad at bridgerton gender swapping so we get a wlw story is LAME AS ALL FUCK!!! LETS GO FRANCESCA AND MICHAELAAAA

#francesca actress was so cute all season i was like.. oh my girl....#and now michaela comes in just like that and shes BREATHTAKING? OKAY #anyway s3 best season of bridgerton so far its true and real #benedict getting his bi exploration arc too like..... hello. weve won #so is s4 set in scotland then or how is this working.. idek #the fact that there are stan wars abt this show is so insane like ive seen 48342 complaints from s2 fans as if everything abt s3 was to #spite them.. im like can u calm down and is it that serious KLFJSDHXJZNK #anyway im not partaking in all that but. just binged the last 4 eps and i enjoyed.#the mystery element of whistledown being gone sucks but everyone gets their lil cherry on top #show could literally end there HOWEVER. show me francesca and michaela now.

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an-theduckin · 1 year ago

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He's just really annoying and obnoxious. Like,, he keeps making this stupid ass deals with us. One deal he made with another teacher is that if I get the highest marks in the upcoming test, geo teacher will give money 2 the other teacher. If anyone else gets a higher mark than me the Other teacher have to give him the money. And now! He's made another fucking deal!! If our class gets an average of Grade 4 (UK grading system. Weird ik) well get 2 watch a movie for two periods, and if the average is below that we'll get double the hw (mind u, the hw is already a LOT) And the ppl in my class are..let's just say they're not very smart. And they're all counting on me n a few other "Smart Kids" 2 boost up the average?? Like bro I don't want this pressure on me i can barely get up n study these days . And today i had a fucking bad headache and couldn't concentrate on answering his questions n ithink he was Disappointed in me 4 that?? And and, we do hw online yeah. I did my hw but he says I didn't. Luckily I didn't get a detention cuz i have a perfect hw record apart from this but man. It's not abt that yk it's abt my reputation n shit. Literally wanted 2 cry atm LMAO . Rest of the day was shit too but this was the Highlight thumbsup emoji

Anyways wanna talk Cain

Maybe later? Sorry I'm not feeling the best rn TwT

#sorry for ranting btw #tw rant #my rants #bestie sobek #Geography Teacher #<- made a tag for that asshole #GAHHH I HATE HIM SO MUCH #YOU ONLY KNOW LIKE. THE SURFACE OF HIS ASSHOLE-NESS #HES SO SO MUCH WORSE WHEN U KNOW ALL ABT HIM #ANDORLNZOJWLQKDKWNQS #okay ive calmed down now #thanks for listening <33

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sketchy-tour · 1 year ago

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A shame I wasn't able to find the motivation to finish my Halloween art in time for Halloween. Might still finish it and post it late for fun, especially since it's already lined.

Started it early and everything and I still couldn't make it. Oh well. That's what I get for getting distracted doodling silly stuff.

#text post #just rambling #Ive just been trying to keep my head on straight and doodling to distract myself these past couple weeks #that WIP has been sitting there...SO close to finished #I just had to color it... :( But coloring is a process I really gotta be in the headspace for #shoulda just slapped on some comfort show and powered through it so I wouldnt be late #but getting mad about what I didnt do isnt gonna make it magically happen lol #so late halloween art is my curse #sorry if I sound a little down for a bit its not the halloween lateness thats got me like this its more so just...#my brain. and my situation. I just gotta wait for the waters of my mind to calm back down #right now they waves are high. and Im just trying to keep my head above water the best I can #okay wow let me. just stop now yall dont wanna hear all that~! <3

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lincolnlogsnfrogs · 1 year ago

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arting is not working so have some of my iz art from the last few months :>

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vani-ash · 1 year ago

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having so many feelings about dff ep 7

#i think i felt every emotion during that episode #had to pause it and take a breath so many times #anyway i wish them all a very die #dff #dead friend forever #dff ep7 #dff ep7 spoilers #well now we know what jin did ig #phee is 100% playing jin #i think thats gonna be the last time phee saw non and hes gonna regret it #when they all get back hes gonna be like okay ive calmed down i wanna talk to him where is non #and non just never came back and thats when he did this whole elaborate revenge plan of being invited to the group #i dont think future him knows what happened to non besides guessing #i cant fucking believe jin posted that video #for all he knew non was doing it against his will #phee crying when he first saw the teacher and non was actually heart breaking #non bestie 😭 i feel like phee wouldve understood if you explained it to him #anyway to bring this to kimchay beacuse i cant stop making everything about kimchay #kim seeing chay being abused by his teacher and going feral

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lapdogchase · 2 years ago

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one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

#text #IT'S DRIVING ME UP A WALL IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MOTNHS #LIKE????? is it like. like is this a me problem is this just me having feelings that are too big #like do other people just.. like for other people does 'feel your feelings' just mean like. feel sad for a while and then stop. cuz i cant #do that i dont get normal sad i get chest pain and think about killing my self for hours on end .is that the problem #like okay if i trip down the stairs and break my leg. im going to cry and go to the hospital. suppressing that would be just using my #broken leg anyway and ignoring it. would regulating it not also be Crying and going to the hospital. would regulating it be like.. putting #a bandaid on it or something is it like.. a middle ground . i do not fucking get it #like okay if i trip down the stairs and i scrape my knee and then i call an ambulance i see how thats not the right response . and i guess #regulating there would be like. calming down thinking things thru and choosing a less drastic solution like a bandaid. i get it #in that situation. but if ive ACTUALLY BROKEN MY LEG. then that would just be the first thing again essentially #but when i put that back into. real world not metaphor world. like. i dont get it again #because if theres not like. an obvious reason for however i feel how am i supposed to judge if im calling an ambulance for a scraped knee #ALSO I THOUGHT THERE 'ARENT ANY WRONG EMOTIONS' WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT -_-#okay no okay it's like. if i trip down the stairs and i skin my knee i dont have to call an ambulance. but if several times a day i fall d #down the stairs and skin my knee in that exact spot and now i can see bone. SHOULD I NOT CALL AN AMBULANCE?#cuz its not just one thing thats upsetting me most of the time it's a combination of a bunch of things and then like one extra upsetting #thing added on top of that. which would necessitate an ambulance. does this make sense #THIS IS GETTING ME NOWHERE IM STILL JUST AS CONFUSED AS I WAS BEFORE I STARTED TYPING. i need 2 remember 2 ask my therapist #what the fuck ''feel your feelings'' means and how it can coexist with ''regulating feelings'' or whatever cuz i feel like im missing smth #NIK OUT ! PEACE ! ✌️

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moneygoblin04 · 7 months ago

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I think I'm having some kind of anxiety attack?

#it feels like my entire life is actively collapsing in on itself despite how literally nothing is happening #i just wanted to sleep and now im plagued with potential future scenarios #worlds where all of my insecurities are realities #im hoping typing this out will help get together my senses so i can actually sleep tonight #which ive been trying to do on and off for 6 hours now #okay im starting to calm down a bit #this is working better than expected #my head is running empty #i wonder if this is what the weird feelings ive had all week has been building up to #of course when im feeling secure about my connection with someone (hi and sorry you have to see me like this) my mind finds a way to punish #me #i hit the character limit for a tag lol #im tired now #time for sleep #personal

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last-flight-of-fancy · 9 months ago

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#okay now that ive had a minute to calm down and the anxiety shakes have stopped #i do feel bad that i made that persons day worse. like genuinely #that's never my intention #i'm just fuckn. following the rabbit down the train of thought hole on any given post #adhd go brr and all that #and although there was a very serious misreading of what i actually said and the reaction was petty #i still didn't want to make anyone feel bad. *especially* not for liking something #my words weren't meant as hate. they were meant as a lament #augh idk what i'm trying to say. other than just. throwing my thoughts out onto the screen in the hopes that maybe i'll learn something #stop talking to yourself flight

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tchaikovskym · 1 year ago

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There is this part of me that wants to wallow in self-pity, that wants to believe I'm doomed forever and that there is nothing good waiting for me. But the funny thing is, it's not true. I am better than I used to be. I am healthier than I used to be. It's just tiring to always try to be better. And while it is a possibility that the doom part of me will turn out to be true, there is a possibility that it won't.

#like yeah im a little bit dead. yea im a little bit pathetic. yeah im an adult living with my mom and maybe there really is something wrong #with me regarding the fact that ive never had any romantic/sexual relationships #and maybe it is pathetic how i hide all my silly creative projects from everyone but the strangers on the internet #and maybe its miserable that im posting things like these here #but fuck it #im not 14 anymore. no one is abusing me at home. i have some interest in what im doing. i have an okay job.#im studying what im interested in. im no longer having episodes of panic where i had to lie in bed to calm down.#havent had a panic attack in crowds for years #i think im no longer weird with men. like i used to be afraid? but not like really. i just avoided them like a plague #and was weird when i had to interact with them #now its gone #i have a car!! i can leave whenever i want to !!!!#i earn enough to travel!!! no further than europe but still #and im not exactly dumb! i have a masters degree! with honors #when i was in highschool i never imagined that i would like to travel or have another degree and then another!#i never imagined that i would be okay working together with people. that i would be fine being in their company and cracking jokes with them #overall im most definetely a mess but a much lesser mess than i used to be.

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hyperionshipping · 1 year ago

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God. Even with everything yeah. Radiations still gonna fuck with him. Someone's gotta be Tricks' inner voice to stop him even when/if he's loose.

Divert the energy to Toshiko, doing everything he can but humans can't lose that much blood. Not from where she was shot.

Yelling for the Captain as Gwen does more, but Tricks would've known the moment he got there, there wasn't enough time.

And oh how that'd *haunt* him

#s/i: doctor who #im. so okay im so okay.#Tricks later on begs that through some miracle the past Doctor he needs could come back and talk some sense into him but that can't happen #Imaging now. fucking hell.#'Youre all right Tosh. That's it. This'll hurt but I'm gonna press down for you okay? Gonna stuff the gunshot wound right? Just like O-- jus #t-- JACK. JACK OVER HERE. You're going to be fine. All fine!' as calm as he can. You're supposed to be calm to keep them calm right?#Jack has to move him after. Tricks tells him very softly 'Ive seen people die. I've been the cause of it before. I've seen truly horrific #stuff with the Doctor. *Jack*' and his voice breaks. 'Not like this. Not her. Not my friend.' and just. god. What do you tell a crying demon #then. Its not like he has anyone. No one but you. And a parent in space. Who you said. Told. that you'd protect them.

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jvzebel-x · 2 years ago

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🦋

#so ive been in contact w a clinic for a specific treatment plan&ive been getting paperwork together for this shit for like 3wks+#&i just got a call about it-- a call ive been waiting for since last week-- only for them to tell me that #ill probably need to be hospitalized for the full extent of the treatment. lmao.#as if this in&of itself was not enough to send me full-on spiraling they let know that this will be totally out of pocket #(which i guess im more or less used to hearing at this point in my life lmao)#&also that i POPPED FOR AMPHETAMINES?#so i immediately start fucking freaking out&the person im talking to is trying to calm me down like #'its okay! youre not in trouble!'#&honest to god if i had been in person i wouldve smacked someone lmao.#i dont give a fuck what you fucking ppl think of me. ive been fighting for solid communication for this entire process #there isnt any reason i should feel inclined to respect any of you bitches enough to give a fuck about your opinion.#even if i didnt have my personal history or occupational hazard list IT WOULD BE CONCERNING TO FIND OUT I HAVE RANDOM DRUGS #IN MY SYSTEM THAT I WAS UNAWARE OF. &frankly that SHOULD be fucking obvious if i am panicking at all.#seeing as a did several different drug tests i dont see how any of it would come as a fucking surprise.#... then she realized that my blood test was negative&my piss test was 'presumptively positive'#&was like that bc of one of my other medications.#im not. THRILLED. that this was overlooked for a large variety of reasons lmao #but the fact that the med evals only last two weeks tops the list bc if i need to retest bc of this shit-- something that wont even #give them a different test result as i am still taking the same medication fucking daily as i have been for over a year now--#i will need to do EVERYTHING again. for no reason. DEFINITELY for no reason caused by me.#all so they can tell me that they lied to me initially&they wont treat me unless i let them hospitalize me lmao.#im going to go fucking rabid. i Do Not want to be hospitalized. lmao.

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cover-me-in-gasoline · 2 years ago

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I NEED A FALL OUT BOY LYRIC TO CAPTION MY DRAWING WITH THAT ISN’T TOO VAGUE THAT PEOPLE’LL LOOK OVER IT ENTIRELY

#I WAS OROGINALLY GONNA GK WITH ‘‘WERE THE BEST BOYS’’ FROM SOPHOMORE SLUMP #BUT I DOUBT THATD BR CLOCKED AS A LYRIC PRETYY QHJCK (BUT IT WOULD BE FUNNY)#fob #fall out boy #okay sorrh for caps ive calmed down now. i still gotta finish the drawing anyways #right now it’s still in the sketching stage. something that vaguely looks like joe as well as lines to indicate everyone else’s placement.#all very vague.#tw caps

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girlivealwaysbean · 4 days ago

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vent

#bro last night was so scary idk what's wrong with me #like everytime im sitting or lying still my brain immediately keeps playing all the horrible memories #ive ever had from way back to childhood to present #like a broken record player #and my dad was sleeping in the same room and i was listening to music to distract myself but it wasn't working #i kept crying for some reason?? like ok im on my period but like it's the fourth day and plus ive already cried #it doesn't usually happen after 2nd day so I don't get what it is #i kept lying there and everytime i stopped myself from crying another memory would pop up and the crying would begin #again. and i kept telling my brain that it's okay relax calm down the danger has passed #these are just memories nothing is happening right now but it didn't help??#like i was thinking about how nicely and proudly he was telling some relative about my sister in the day #and it kept making me cry i kept remembering all the bad things all the violence he has inflicted on her #and on such a young person. and my brother. i keep saying that i was like 10 when it started #but what about him? it means he was 7?? what the fuck. he saw all of that too maybe that's why he's the way he is #like he's very. anxious. and he panics and messes up a lot. and then dad screams at him even more for that. and i kept thinking #what a terrible losing cycle it is it's not even his fault he's like this he has literally never had any happiness in his life #like fr i changed schools when i was in 11th and i cried so much about it and he was even younger #and he has never felt loved he has never even had a bestfriend. he's just applying for colleges now and even tho that'#very good and makes me very happy because maybe finally he'll feel love and happiness and safety for the first time. it still made me cry #idk maybe i have something. like umm #anyway today he shouted at my mom very horribly just like old times. on the phone tho cause she isn't here. and #and it was just like childhood again pausing my lecture to listen to everything he's saying to gauge how mad he is but regretting #listening in bc I dont want to have another horrible memory that I'll think about years from now. and i kept telling #myself that it's okay it's okay the worst that he could do. he's already done multiple times. he doesn't really have a lot of tricks #just scream at a volume so loud the whole building can hear hitting etc till we agree to him. and that's it #but it made me realise that maybe that's why my brain does that it's saying that the danger hasn't passed yet #it will only pass when he is dead lol i hope it's soon

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soupblr · 25 days ago

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oh im actually going to kill someone literally the first thing i thought was that the files must be transcribed weird. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHY IS IT TRANSCODING SHIT IN REAL TIME AT THE ABSOLUTE MAX POSSIBLE FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!! THAT SETTING WAS OFF!! omg is it the files i got or something i thought they were fine. i feel like an insane person rn why is all my shit changed. if u literally told me someone broke in and changed a bunch of small things to make my setup work badly i would believe you because what the actual fuck. i was gonna say i need to listen to myself but i fixed like 3 other problems by not fixing what is probably the main fucking issue and itll be faster than before now but holy shit holy fucking shit oh my god

#WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain etc #replacing these files asap i fucking knew it :/ i will have to go into the server settings and verify that nothing else is fucked up first #cuz idfk why its even doing that??? it should never do that???#converting the files remotely for now because im not dealing with that shit tn #<- i always say that and then keep working on it though :/#is that a regulation thing why do i do that. like when ur definitely not gonna go for a walk ur just gonna put ur coat on and stand outside #haha oh thank god i dont need to deal with that rn. *calms down* okay let me deal with it right now #mentally i am already not doing and done with the task simultaneously this is the only way to do the task #i should revisit the mastery section of my dbt skills i think #context i feel confident in my ability to fix tech problems i know it just requires persistence . so its easy to recover and jump back in #even though tech issues get on my nerves very fucking quickly. i can use little mind tricks like that to regulate w/o thinking about it #but i struggle to do that when i lack mastery. the outcome isnt assured so it's harder to not get stuck on details and give up #i think so anyway idk maybe im thinking about it too deep. i'll go over it again anyway though now that i'm looking at it #ive been trying to catch when im doing stuff like that more often because i know i have a LOT of tricks like that that feel intrinsic to me #i dont think about them its just how i function. so its invisible to me unless i tune in #i was thinking about that yesterday when i was smoking bc i realized a huge part of socializing for me is overthinking...#but its literally necessary? i am SO prone to saying the exact wrong hurtful thing. if i didnt turn things over in my head before i spoke #i would hurt people a lot and not on purpose. i catch myself at least once a day and think jesus god i'm glad i didn't say that #that gets misconstrued as social anxiety when its like no i LITERALLY just need to do it unless you want me to say very hurtful things #i think most people do not need to do that..? like i cant just Be Myself that bitch is a hugeeeeeee cuntttttttttt lol #and still a lot of stuff gets past because i dont realize the implications of what im saying...#thats why i cant fucking stand people who dont say anything when theyre hurt or just expect you to realize without expressing it #maybe they're scared of confrontation but i dont need people around me if theyre just passively miscontruing me as a careless asshole #i am an asshole! but i care! i try not to be one like really hard i swear to god #if you cant speak up when you are hurt you should not expect anyone to hear you thats how i feel #okay my file are done bai #z

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pears-trinkets · 5 months ago

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my fucking insta got hacked and i cant get back in :))))

not because of the hacker but because instas help / recovery / proof features are completely broken and crash the app and there is no support contacts and people have had this issue for over 5 years

i feel like fucking puking my soul out

#they changed my name and profile picture and now its just some random russian dude sending out viruses #my face is all over my account #it cant be that meta just can ignore your pleas to get your own fucking data back???????????? for years???????????#so fucking hackers saw a business opportunity in this and started hacking random people #because the only way to get your account back and bypass instas shitty programming is by hacking #so you literally have to pay probably the hackers who hacked you in the first place #what is this #fortunately by german law they have to answer my fucking 1000 emails ive sent them #so we shall see #but im so physically sick i dont know how to calm down #i havent cared about insta in years but always made sure its okay and now it isnt and UUGHHhjjdkhgf

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phagodyke · 8 months ago

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didn't even get to do my ironing :-(

#tw self harm #i was looking forward to it.. i usually find it calming n a nice way to end a weekend #but kept having thoughts abt intentionally burning myself or hitting myself with the iron so im leaving it for another day #its fine if my clothes are a bit crumpled at work anyway. i think i have some extra stuff i ironed i didnt wear last week too #im safe btw its fine ive been using ice + gentle pressure on my skin to take the edge off (i keep my nails too short to scratch dw)#if i did have to cut it wouldnt be ideal but its a neutral act i try not to judge it. but ik its less safe + i dont want it to become #a habit again bc i already let myself do it last weekend and im still a bit frustrated abt it bc id been managing so well #and it was the first time since january. and before then i hadnt since august which is a really big deal for me!#bc last year + year before i was really struggling with reliance on it. i had months where i was doing it daily or every other day #and its hardest to stop when its habitual. once on occasion is much more manageable so lets keep it that way #one day itll be the last time i ever do it and ill be clean the rest of my life but i dont think im near that yet #it feels kind of uncomfortable to type this out but i want to stop keeping my thoughts on s/h in my head bc i get weird abt it #and the last thing i need right now is to get weird abt harming urges again. and i dont think my friends are safe to talk to abt it #so talking on here is the closest thing i have to being open abt it. im tired of it being so stigmatised #ultimately its just a coping mechanism. even if it can be unsafe but like drinking or smoking or whatever to feel better is no safer so #but still i dont want to encourage it. anyway #at least ive calmed down a bit now. and i finished some admin i was putting off earlier #and now i need to sleep bc work tomorrow. just glad the weekend is over its so much easier to cope on work days #just the structure and distraction of it innit. we'll get through this week #and im back on the more stable dose again for meds this week as well so hopefully thatll help #and i think my periods due which has probably been tipping these mood swings over into intolerable #so hopefully thatll start tomorrow or tues and the hormonal shit will recede 🙏#all good. okay im gonna meditate a little and then sleep goodnight 😴#.diaries

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