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hella1975 · 2 years ago

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You are the only fucking one with normal opinions about arcane and I Wish you were there to see when everyone’s tiktoks were full of nothing about arcane and everyone being feral over silco and his nasty ass and Viktor who is. Fine. The best of the topsiders but still involved in an overall boring plot unless it was about himself and his disability which were the only interesting parts on the top end. Or Vi and Cait and I Don’t Like Cait very much. Like she’s Fine but god she’s fucking dumb sometimes and doesn’t know when to shut up and I don’t like her in the game either. I wish we saw more Ekko in the show tho.

How do we feel about the thought of Ekko and Jinx’s fight feeling like Zuko and Azulas. Second part could you imagine if they interlaced the Zuko and Azula scene with them play fighting as kids like arcane did? I wouldn’t have survived that actually. Or the parallels of Jinx and Vi to Vander and Silco and the siblings who care for each other despite despite despite. Also! So many people were mad at Vi for hitting Jinx but that whole scene was a very human response? She (accidentally) killed like their whole family? She just had a big fight? I’m sure her adrenaline is through the fucking roof and people forget she’s also a child at this point. She immediately regretted it and walked away to calm down and then got picked up before she could come back and help or fix things. Like obv that’s not the best thing she could do but I don’t think she was in the head space to gentle parent her sister. I have so much to say about this show and everybody else had such different opinions on the whole thing 😩

OMG OMG YES EXACTLY okay i have several things to say about like. all of this so im bulletpointing lmao

silco - WAIT WERE WE SUPPOSED TO LIKE SILCO??? WHAT??? like even in a 'villain who was justified' or even 'villain you can sympathise with if not justify' i just genuinely wholeheartedly dont like him. looking at an incredibly mentally ill girl and saying she's perfect is not a redemption. putting drugs into your own streets and getting your own people addicted to the point of being loyal to you is not a redemption. there is literally nothing good about his character. im pretty sure i put in the tags the first time i really saw him that basically his anger towards topside was 100% justified and even his desire to use extreme measures after so long being ignored, but you totally lose that the moment you turn on your own people. like okay mr manipulating class traitor of the year respectfully i was not upset when you died

viktor - i was soooo disappointed by viktor's character bc i genuinely REALLY wanted to like him like i was so intrigued by his disability and i love that he's a nerd and an underdog and can be abrasive at times and i thought there was SO much potential with him being from the undercity, but he was just so so passive and half the time i was just angry at him and shouting at the screen. like he's watching these toffs who dont know anything about the undercity - and havent even been there - discuss the future of people JUST LIKE HIM and he just allowed it. he only cared about his inventions and maybe that will be explored in season 2 bc it seems like they're taking a narrative where it shows his obsession to the point of detriment (what happened to that assistant that fancied him) and he'll possibly change for the better but as of right now he's just completely forgotten his roots and only remembered the undercity when it benefited his inventions. he went off with 'in the pursuit of great, we forgot to do good' though like i'll allow him that much that quote fucks stupendously

cait - same hat as viktor i REALLY wanted to like her bc it seems like we might actually be getting queer rep and i dont want to hate 50% of the couple but my god is she ignorant. and actually ignorance isn't the problem it's not a crime to be oblivious and it's not her fault she was born into a better life than vi, but it was her insensitivity with her ignorance that bugged me like girl just SHUT UP SOMETIMES MAYBE???? like it's very easy to look at a situation you haven't been in and go 'i would never have said that in a million years' but i can still safely say that if i was in the slums surrounded by victims of horrific addiction who have been turned on by even their own people and now live in the most extreme clutches of poverty, and i was there with a girl raised in this environment who only knows how to fight and has been beaten down again and again and has spent the past few years in prison, something im intimately aware of as the person who BROKE HER OUT, then i wouldnt go 'i think this is a good time to be accusatory about her homelife actually'. like literally what the fuck was the thought process. and it wasn't a one time thing she did it ALL the time i genuinely dont know how vi didn't hit her she's so lucky she's hot

zuko and azula - WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO ME MY GODDDD like that tiny snippet of them playing in the palace garden as kids except it's an entire scene of parallels to them in the agni kai. despicable

vi hitting jinx - i actually laughed out loud when i read that people are apparently getting aggy about the fact vi hit jinx. i have to assume people making those takes dont have siblings. i have hit my sister for far less and can guarantee if she accidentally killed all my loved ones then she'd be getting an awful lot more than a slap to the face. siblings fight. it's literally a universally accepted fact. it's not FUN or GOOD but it still happens and 99% of the time it's over shit much less serious than what these two were fighting over. touch grass

#the worst physical fight me and my sister ever got in - and im talking on the floor beating the shit out of each other -#was because she wore my t-shirt #im not kidding like it was a very bad time for us so it had very much been Building #but i told her to take my shirt off and instead she went to leave the house so i grabbed the shirt by the hem to yank her back #and it ripped and i just fucking saw red and the next thing i know we're just fucking clobbering each other #over a T-SHIRT #so yes i think vi smacking jinx in the heat of heartbreak and rage and adrenaline and TERROR because jinx genuinely did something awful #is justified #ask #arcane #arcane spoilers

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maplecornia · 3 years ago

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chapter 6

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 1.17K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: i'm seriously considering uploading a chapter each day until I'm all caught up with all the chapters I have waiting. easy binge material lmao

“BigHit Entertainment.”

The whole place is intimidating. Big and looming, looking more like a corporate building than BigHit studio. Multiple people are roaming about, some on tours, others heading to work, each one looking highly qualified, mature, and confident.

They know what they're doing.

Do you?

Swallowing hard, you meet the building with a steady gaze, taking a calming breath before heading forward, and entering it. The revolving door swinging shut behind you, you come to a stop as soon as you enter eyes wide in astonishment.

Everything is pure white, or at least, shades of it. The walls are stone; cold, plastered paint slathered in every nook and cranny. The floors are made of smooth white ceramic tiles that have a thin glossy sheen to them, like marble in museums. The windows of the building are one-way, much like mirrors.

The light from outside mixing with the light on the inside walls creates a bright contrast that calms the nerves.

So many people are there. Tour guides leading small parties down the halls. Managers hurrying to and fro. Receptionists at the front desk taking multiple calls. People waiting in the waiting room near the entrance.

As you take it in, as you ponder at it, you can feel your own heart calm itself. Your heartbeat slows, and your breath evens out, the knot in your throat unwinding.

You find yourself at ease, despite the busy attitude of the place.

As though you belong here.

However, the stupor the studio has you in is quickly broken by a group of people who enter behind you.

They shove past you and you stumble a bit forward, caught off guard. They quickly murmur an apology before moving along. Shaking it off you take a deep breath, as you set your sights on the receptionist's desk.

You best get this over with.

At the thought of meeting Kim Namjoon, RM of BTS for the first time, you can feel the knot rewinding and wish you could just lose yourself in the beauty of the place once more. You know that's not possible though, you have to stay focused, you have to be aware of yourself.

Reaching the desk, you wait for the receptionist to notice you.

She holds a phone up to her ear, talking animately while she types something frantically on the office computer. You wonder if you should leave and come back a bit later, but her eyes glance towards you and she holds up a finger for you to wait.

You swallow hard, and nod, trying hard not to stare as you wait obediently.

She's quite pretty, her long dark hair tied up into a bun, few stranglers from a hectic day trailing down her ivory neck. She has a small face, large brown eyes accompanying small plump lips. Though she has done her makeup quite dutifully, it's obvious that she doesn't need it. She has the looks of an elegant porcelain swan, almost as though one touch would break her.

Sighing as she sets down the phone, she spins to you and smiles. It doesn't seem that sincere considering it doesn't reach her eyes, and you can tell she'd much rather return to her phone call. You'd hate to keep her from it so you hope you can make this quick.

"Hello!" she greets. "Welcome to BigHit entertainment, how can I help you today?"

You smile hastily back before pulling out your phone and bringing up the letter of recommendation that Jaejin sent you so that they wouldn't think you're a fraud.

"Hi." You answer back, trying to be polite nevertheless.

"I'm here, as the replacement for Mr. Kim Namjoon's assistant manager?" You show her the picture, approving your statement. Once she's done reading it, her eyes raise to yours, all hints of the smile gone. Looking at you with slight annoyance, she starts rummaging behind the desk, gathering a clipboard and a few pieces of paper.

"You were supposed to be here 3 hours ago. Are you aware of that?" she snaps, and you swallow hard, still upset about everything.

"Yes. I'm sorry, I...." you ponder over whether or not to explain it to her. "...it won't happen again. Please, forgive me."

What?

There’s no reason for her to know, and besides, she may see it as empty excuses.

You bow your head slightly to her, and she sighs, holding up her hand.

"Please don't, I'm not the one you need to apologize to." Slowly, you rise, nodding silently. At the sight of your guilty expression, she sighs once more, before smiling, this one real.

"But I wouldn't worry, Park Jimin makes the same mistake all the time, and all Mr. Namjoon can do is smile and shake his head." When you smile in disbelief, she presses her hand against yours, smiling softly.

"It'll be okay." You nod, and she pulls away, clearing her throat.

"Now, Mr. Namjoon is heading to a meeting that concerns BTS, so you'll have to wait a while. As you do, please fill out these forms, officially stating that you're taking the position of his assistant manager." You nod, taking the forms, and reading them over almost immediately.

"Do you need a pen?" the receptionist questions, and you shake your head smiling softly.

"No thank you...." peering at her badge, you smile before saying her name. "...Kim Jojo."

At first, she seems a bit surprised that you said her name, but as she turns to her badge, she chuckles and nods.

"You're welcome, please take a seat in the waiting room as you wait." You nod and step back from the desk, reading over the papers on the clipboard.

They are simple documents, ones that are required when getting a new job anywhere. Name, address, security number, things like that.

Sighing, you raise your head, turning around abruptly.

A little too abruptly.

As you turn and step forward, you crash into someone right behind you, the coffee he has in his hands exploding between the two of you.

You cry out in surprise, as does the random stranger, each of you rebounding off the other and stumbling back. Hardly any of the coffee falls on you, most of it spilling over on his shirt. He hisses in surprise, pulling the soaked shirt off of his chest.

Your eyes widen in shock and horror at what you've done and you immediately step back, placing the clipboard back on the counter.

"I'm so sorry!" you cry out, reaching for emergency towels that you keep in your satchel. "I wasn't looking where I was going and I...."

However, as your eyes catch a glimpse of his face, your words falter, your hand tightening around the towel.

You know those eyes, you recognize that hair, you've memorized the same curve of that jawline.

You hardly notice everyone else around you, how they begin to whisper about the commotion, as they all notice what you did.

Why wouldn't they?

Who would look away when the person you've spilled coffee all over is none other than...

Jeon Jungkook.

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: our first real encounter with a BTS member! isn't it exciting? chapter 7 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

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hello-yue-here · 3 years ago

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thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!

not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao

enjoy some lil snippets hehe

from heart don't stand a chance:

"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.

It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.

As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."

this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.

from i love you (and that's all i really know):

"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."

"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.

She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.

"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.

"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"

this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.

from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):

"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."

hehe i love mailee.

from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):

"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.

But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.

“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”

“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”

“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”

“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”

“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."

i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.

from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):

"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”

“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.

“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.

“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”

“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."

homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.

from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:

"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.

Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.

“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”

I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."

i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.

from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:

"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice

“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-

“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.

Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.

“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"

nonbinary toph anyone?

from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:

"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.

“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.

“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.

Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."

zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.

i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far

but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!

I hope you liked them!

anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)

#liv talks about writing #liv talks ab fanfic #liv wips #liv fics #i love sharing my writing #especially when i have a bit of a block going on with well.... every fic #maybe this will give me inspiration!!!#i love sharing my writing im proud of these little snippets and i hope you all likes them as well :)#atla #avatar: the last airbender

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lilyclawthorne · 3 years ago

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Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

#toh #the owl house #owl house #keeping up afearances #keeping up a-fear-ances

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ghoulciifer · 4 years ago

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So heard you want Haikyuu request! So when I get mad at someone (VERY rare) I just look at them like 😠. And just kinda shun them like “dont talk to me 😠. That was rude 😠” so i just scoot away from them. I wont walk away from them, ill just go to the other side of the couch or whatever and if they try to console me im like “no! You spoiled my show 😠” and only kinda yell at them if they keep pursuing like “im mad at you” and if they touch me im like “NO! IM MAD AT YOU” is all lmao UHHH PART 2

hc: how Kageyama and Nishinoya react when their S/O gets angry

tw: none (i think?)

tags: angry!reader, haikyuu, eventual comfort/fluff, slight nsfw with noya

notes: ahsgshahajsh i’m the same way when i get angry but i CRY so much, so i kinda felt this one? but i did hc’s for this because i wanted to do it NOW. i love my boys, especially noya. ty for the request, i love you, and my inbox is still open for asks ❥

» i feel like kageyama is just permanently unaware of everything going on around him, like all this boy has on his mind is fuckin’ volleyball and you, ofc

» i also feel like this is a big reason why doesn’t have a filter sometimes... which gets him in trouble.

» you two are just chilling on the couch, all cuddled up together, watching a show you’ve been trying to catch up to him on (because he’s impatient and apparently can’t wait for you to come home smh)

» you’re halfway through a super suspenseful episode, and there’s a huge lead up to a plot twist but it’s just dragging on forEVER

» “ugh, why can’t they just show who dies, already?” you grumble under your breath, beyond irritated, huffing for good measure

» kageyama just

» nonchalantly fuckin’ spoils it

» “oh F/C/N dies, happens next episode.”

» the speed in which your head turns his way is inhuman LMAO

» you’re so angry you can’t even form words, your blood boils as it rushes to your face and your brow is furrowed so deep

» not only did your boyfriend ruin the rest of the episode but YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES??

» of course kageyama doesn’t notice your death glare until a couple seconds later, looking at you with the most dumbfounded expression

» “...what?”

» you don’t even say anything, just get up, take a deep breath, and walk as calm as possible to the bedroom, slamming the door behind you

» meanwhile kags is still just ?? nani ??

» he leaps into action and tries talking to you through the door but once he hears the tub’s faucet running from your bathroom, he knows it’s your me time and he shouldn’t interfere

» so while you’re soaking up in a hot bath with your favorite scented candle burning at the edge of the tub, listening to your favorite playlist at a comfortable volume,

» kageyama literally sits on the couch and thinks SO HARD about what he could have possibly done wrong ahsgsgshaja this boy

» you were fine before you started watching the show, even after the show started you were quite literally all over him, so where did he go wrong?

» it finally dawns on him that your sudden mood change happened after he spilled the beans on your favorite character’s death

» insert kageyama slamming a palm to his face

» THIS DUDE FEELS SO FUCKIN’ BAD NOW

» he waits at least another 15-20 mins before creeping into the master bath to check up on you, a warm mug of your favorite tea in hand and the sweetest look on his face

» how could you still be mad at him when he’s literally doing the 🥺 face ???

» he crouches at the edge of the tub and leans forward to press a gentle kiss into your temple before setting the mug on the ledge, situating himself so his chin is laying over his folded arms, facing you

» “I’m sorry I’m an idiot... and about F/C/N. I know you liked them a lot.”

» you can’t help but giggle at how precious the moment (or the look on his face) is and you raise a hand to his cheek, rubbing the soft skin over his cheekbone with your damp thumb

» “It’s okay, Tobio, at least I didn’t have to see it. But next time... try not to spoil anything, okay?”

» nishinoya might seem like an air headed tornado to most, but he’s actually pretty perceptive !!

» so he’s always aware of when you’re angry, very in tune with your emotions, constantly tries his best to avoid hurting you or your feelings in anyway

» but uh... he fucks up sometimes.

» you were at your shared home, waiting for him wearing nothing but his old volleyball jersey and his favorite pair of your panties (y’know the ones, with a cute lil’ bow on the front and less fabric in the back ;0)

» there wasn’t really any special occasion but you both made it very clear during a suggestive text conversation earlier in the day that you were going to jump each other’s bones as soon as you got home

» he did let you know he needed to stop by tanaka’s after work to pick something up, but you figured that wouldn’t take long at all, right?

» wrong

» you’ve been nestled in the same spot on the couch for hours, the sun no longer shining into the living room, and you were absolutely steaming from the ears in wait for your boyfriend

» you honestly weren’t even in the mood anymore the longer time dragged on, the show you put on doing nothing to distract you from your aggravation

» eventually you hear the familiar jiggle of your front door and the clanking of keys being hung on the rack before footsteps head your way

» you keep the blanket in your lap wrapped around your waist and sit up, arms crossed, bottom lip jutted out ever so slightly with narrowed eyes

» “Hey, baby! I missed you all da-“

» he tried leaning down for a kiss but you pressed your hand against his lips before they got close enough

» noya is confused for a split second before he notices you’re wearing the one piece of clothing you know will get you laid when you wear it

» “...fuck.”

» “Actually, no, not anymore.”

» you get up from the couch and side step around him, ignoring the way his fingertips brush against your wrist in a failed attempt to grab it

» once you make it to your bedroom you lock yourself in the bathroom to change clothes, wash your face, let your hair down, etc.

» the running water lets noya know you’re starting your nightly routine, and there’s no way you’re doing anything after that

» he’s very aware that you just need to cool off, you got your point across and all that remained was the recovery process

» so he decides to use this time to get himself in his sleep clothes as well and situate the bed in the most comfortable set up possible, the way he knows you like it

» also grabs a snack or two from the kitchen and sets it on your nightstand in case you do decide to talk it out instead of going straight to bed

» he patiently waits for you to emerge from the bathroom as he holds onto the stuffed koala he won for you at some fair years ago HE’S SO CUTE I CAN’T ALDJSHSJAK

» when you finally do come out, donning an old pair of his sweats and an oversized t-shirt, hair brushed and face clean, his face instantly softens

» bc he can’t help but admire how beautiful you look in moments like this 🥺

» once you see the look in his eyes and the stuffed toy in his arms, it’s all over, my guy - you don’t even remember why you were upset in the first place

» you climb on the bed and settle on top of him, head tucked under his chin and arms wrapped underneath his shoulders while he runs his hands up and down your spine, koala bear long forgotten

» “I’m sorry I was out so late, babygirl, I lost track of time... I’ll make it up to you whenever you want, okay? and I’ll hold you like this if you just wanna go to bed.” He finally says after a comfortable silence, kissing the top of your head as he finishes.

» your heart practically melts and suddenly you want to be the one comforting him

» “It’s okay, Yuu. I love you so much.” you lift your head from his chest to give him a sweet kiss as he reciprocates the phrase against your lips

» the kiss lasts much longer than intended and grows in intensity - next thing you know, he’s got you flipped over with his hands sneaking under your shirt to explore your soft skin, mouth latched onto your neck

» his hands wander to the waistband of the sweats resting over your hips and when his fingertips brush over the familiar texture of lace, he looks up at you with the MOST excited look

» “You kept them on?? FOR ME??”

#i went a lil overboard with noya’s but i cant help it #i just love him sm #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #tobio kageyama x reader #tobio kageyama fic #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yu x reader #nishinoya headcanons #kageyama headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #hofortendou hc’s

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perseusannabeth · 4 years ago

Text

Bottled Up Storms - Chapter 1

So this is something I started writing thanks to a prompt I received (shout out to the anon who sent me that). I’m sorry that this has taken me so long to write, but my job has been kicking my arse so I haven’t had much time to write. I originally was going to write this as a one shot but lmao oops it turned out a little too long and I have too many ideas so now it’ll be a multi-chapter fic.

This is a pregnancy fic for Nessian. I don’t really know much about being pregnant so everything is from google so I’m sorry if I get stuff wrong. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you want to be added to my tags list!

Description: Nesta and Cassian have been living in the Illyrian mountains for some months now, and they had it all figured out. They mostly ignored each other, and seemed to be getting by. However, after one drunken night together, they must deal with the consequences of what they have created together, both the new life they created, and the lives they have created for themselves.

This is also posted on AO3

Word count: 4511

They didn’t talk about the fact that they’d had sex. It was a one-time thing, and something not to be repeated as far as they were both concerned. They had both been drunk and they needed to feel something. There had been tension lingering around them ever since Nesta had been ordered to go with Cassian to Illyria. The tension was normal around the two of them, it had been there ever since they had first met, which felt like a lifetime ago. The tension had built until it was going to burst. That’s what had happened that drunken night.

Nesta found she was fine not talking about what had happened between them. She didn’t want to talk about the mind-blowing sex, the way Cassian had looked at her like she was his world, the way he had held her after, how it had made her feel calm and safe, the way she’d had the best nights sleep since Gods know when, the way she had woken up to him staring at her with such love and wonder that she couldn’t breathe. Cassian hadn’t spoken about it either. He had just watched her as she left his room. The weight of his gaze nowadays was suffocating but different reasons. Now it was heavy with the memories of that night, of what they could be if she wasn’t so broken, and if she hadn’t been such a coward and left.

Nesta was content to go about her life at the blasted camp her sister had dumped her at, barely seeing Cassian. She carried on with her routine of going to see Emerie in the shop. She would help if she needed it, but Emerie so rarely had customers that she did things herself just so she could keep busy. After spending a few hours with Emerie, sometimes talking and sometimes sitting in comfortable silence, she would wander around the camp, sometimes watching the training of the women, sometimes tiring and going to the cabin she shared with Cassian and reading one of her books.

Very occasionally, Nesta would wander down to the healer’s tent and help them. She worked in silence, just doing as she was told, but the work was good for tiring her out and keeping her hands and mind busy. It made her feel useful, something she had not felt in a long time, maybe not ever.

She hadn’t felt the need to drink herself into oblivion like she had done most nights in Velaris. Maybe the distance had helped, but Nesta still couldn’t bring herself to thank her sister for sending her away. Even when she and Cassian had… made their mistake that night, she wasn’t anywhere near as drunk as she could’ve been. She just pretended she was after it had happened so that Cassian wouldn’t talk to her about it. She was eating too, although that was a bit more hit and miss. She was shocked to find that the alcohol she could easily leave, but the punishing her body, the not eating, that was harder to do. Still, she was making progress and eating something is better than nothing. Her lack of drinking meant she was throwing up less, meaning she was slowly starting to look healthier. Her nightmares did cause her to throw up though, so the food didn’t always stay down. She still couldn’t make much of a dent in the food that Cassian plated up for her, but she still felt a small amount of pride for eating what she did.

Which is why she was confused. She was being sick in the morning, despite the fact she hadn’t drank any alcohol since that night with Cassian. She wouldn’t even have it with her meal, just in case her control slipped. The alcohol made her too free, which was dangerous around Cassian.

This was the third morning in a row now, where Nesta had been sick. At first, she had thought it was food poisoning, but Cassian was fine and he always cooked for both of them. Plus, she had felt better later on in the day. She had gone to the healers who told her she wasn’t ill. They had offered to check her over more extensively, but Nesta refused, hoping whatever it was would go away.

It hadn’t. Because of course, of course, things could never be that easy for Nesta. This morning was particularly bad. She was sat on the floor in the bathroom and had been for the past half an hour. She didn’t want to risk getting up because every time she did, she felt sick again. Cassian was (thank the cauldron) at his morning training session, and wouldn’t be back until dinner. She had the cabin to herself for the day to deal with whatever this was.

She decided to move to the sink to rinse her mouth out with water. She didn’t want to risk going into the kitchen to get a glass, just in case she was sick again. As she stood up, her body protested, and her stomach churned. Nesta took a deep breath in the hopes it would calm her stomach, but she had no such luck as she once again leaned over the toilet bowl, slowly sinking to her knees again as she retched again.

Nesta always prided herself on being well aware of her surroundings. However, while she was being sick, she didn’t notice Cassian coming back into the cabin. Nor did she hear his footsteps getting closer and closer as he followed the noises she was making.

Cassian stood in the doorway of the bathroom and stared at Nesta who had now stopped being sick and was leaning against the bathtub, panting. Nesta glared at him, but without as much heat as she would’ve liked, exhausted from throwing up for half an hour.

“Are you alright?” Cassian asked, seeming to break himself out of whatever was going on in his head.

“Do I look alright to you?” Nesta bit back, taking deep breaths as her stomach churned again. She closed her eyes, willing her stomach to settle, hoping that the cool feeling of the bathtub against her would help.

“A little too much fun last night?”

“Yes, it was a joy, sitting in my room all night, reading my book until I fall asleep, not having to be around you,” Nesta replied, angry that he would imply she had been drinking.

He seemed thrown by that. They both knew that she wouldn’t lie about the drinking, she had never felt the need to before. She wasn’t ashamed of her chosen coping habit, it wasn’t hurting anyone else, just herself. It shouldn’t bother everyone as much as it does, but if they choose to worry about her drinking habit then that’s on them, she didn’t care. Or so she would keep telling herself.

“I… are you saying you haven’t been drinking?” Cassian asked, unable to keep the shock out of his voice.

“I haven’t drank any alcohol since-” she cut herself off, unable to say that she hadn’t touched alcohol since that night they had shared.

Thankfully, Cassian seemed to realise what she was about to say and just cleared his throat awkwardly and gave her a small nod. “Okay then, shall I get a healer?”

“No, I’ll go down myself, I’m fine now anyway.” Nesta tried to slowly move, but it was no use. Her stomach churned again as she turned quickly to the toilet before being sick again.

Nesta’s whole body shook as she was sick, she could feel her energy draining with each time she heaved, her nose and mouth, filling with the acidic smell and taste of her vomit. She couldn’t believe she was vomiting this much, not when she didn’t think she had this much lining her stomach to even get rid of in the first place. She felt a warm hand slowly rub her back as she threw up, so softly it hurt her heart.

Eventually, her body stopped, perhaps running out of things to force out of her, although Nesta was not very hopeful. Her body was clearly punishing her for all the havoc she had caused when she was drinking her meals. She leaned back against the bathtub once again, Cassian’s hand still so soft and warm on her back. She could feel the liquid around her nose, mouth and the tears that had escaped as she had been sick leaving marks down her cheeks. She closed her eyes, wishing Cassian was anywhere but here, wishing he wasn’t seeing her like this.

Perhaps Nesta’s wishes come true quickly, but perhaps that’s only true when her wish is something that will hurt her. Cassian slowly stood up and left her in the bathroom. He returned briefly with a glass of water and some tissues to try and clean her face up as best he could. She would have stopped him, and his soft movements as he wiped her face, but she didn’t have the energy to stop him, to yell, to be a bitch and push him away. Not right now. But maybe she could do it without even trying because she closed her eyes and felt him leave, and heard the front door open and shut, and the cabin was once again was empty.

Nesta sat on the floor for what felt like an age. Time seemed to pass differently when you’ve been sick all morning. She waited until she started feeling a bit better, her legs not feeling as weak or shaky, her stomach settling down slightly, her nose stopped stinging, her eyes stopped watering. She slowly moved herself to stand up, trying to keep her movements as smooth and slow as possible, in the hopes it wouldn’t make her sick again.

Her limbs felt too heavy for her, her body exhausted from being sick. She didn’t have the energy to deal with people, she didn’t want to speak to anyone or see anyone. She wanted to sleep. Even though she was sleeping better than she had been, her sleep was interrupted, bitty, and more like she was taking several naps at night rather than getting proper rest. She didn’t bother undressing or undoing her braided hair. She simply walked over to her bed and collapsed, feeling grateful that her room wasn’t far from the bathroom.

She closed her eyes but knew that despite the exhaustion her body was feeling, her mind would not let her sleep. She knew she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about Cassian’s hand on her back. It was the first time he had touched her since that night. It hurt, that he didn’t want to touch her again unless he had to, but she understood. Things were so messy between the two of them, they needed space between them. Nesta couldn’t think when she was near Cassian, and when he touched her it felt like he had lit a fuse. She was sure that if she hadn’t been otherwise occupied when he had touched her, she would’ve reacted differently. She was glad that she hadn’t since she had been embarrassed enough for one day.

Cassian clearly felt she hadn’t been embarrassed enough, however, because he returned, and she could clearly hear the voice of another person with him. She recognised the voice of the healers from the tent that she helped out in. Their footsteps grew closer, and Nesta, in her panic, decided that she would pretend to be asleep.

“Oh,” was all that Cassian said as he opened the door and saw her fully dressed and asleep on top of her covers. She had been so exhausted that she couldn’t even muster the energy to get under them before they had arrived. “Shall I wake her?”

“It’s okay general, you can go and wait elsewhere. I will wake her up and speak to her,” there was silence, Cassian not moving away like he had been told to. Eventually, he let out a small sigh and walked away into their shared living space as the healer shut the door behind him.

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now. You may have fooled the general but that won’t work on me.”

Nesta slowly opened her eyes and looked at the healer. She was short, with dark brown hair, tied in a neat bun. Her wings were clipped, but she seemed to carry herself in a way that suggested she was fairly old even for fae standards, and she wore the typical healers uniform, which was immaculate. In fact, everything about this woman was immaculate, which put Nesta on edge even on a normal day. After three days of being sick every morning, Nesta wanted nothing more to hide under her blanket. She did not give in to her urge to hide, however, and slowly sat up on her bed, hoping not to make the queasy feeling turn into something more again.

“I know we’ve seen each other around the tent, but I’ve never had a chance to speak to you before. I’m Theodora. I heard you were throwing up this morning? Is this the first time you’ve done that?” As she asked the questions, Theodora set her bag down on the foot of the bed and started rifling through it and putting things onto the bed.

“I’m Nesta. And no, this is now the third day this has been happening. It seemed to calm down yesterday afternoon so I hoped that it was just a stomach bug that had passed.”

Theodora looked up at her in surprise. “Three days?”

“Yes although I have been feeling a bit queasy for much longer than that, I just learnt to ignore it.”

“Hmm okay, and how long have you been noticing my queasiness?” Nesta paused, unsure if she should divulge all her secrets with the healer, in case she told Cassian or anyone what she had been suffering recently. As if able to sense her worries, Theodora added, “Nothing you say will be shared with anyone else without your permission.”

Slightly comforted that if someone was to find out at least she would have warning, Nesta decided to share her troubles. “I’ve been feeling sick ever since my last period.”

“How long ago was that?”

“It was supposed to be 2 weeks ago, but it never came. That isn’t unusual though. I’ve put my body through a lot, my periods are never predictable.”

Theodora pursed her lips and nodded to indicate she was listening as she looked through her healer’s bag once more, a small frown on her face. When she found what she was looking for, she inspected it, before looking up at Nesta.

“This is a routine question I ask every female, so please don’t get offended, but is there any chance you could be pregnant? Just so I can choose my treatment method correctly.”

Nesta froze. Pregnant? Surely not. Fae pregnancies were difficult and rare, she knew that. With what Nesta had been putting her body through before coming to Illyria, she wasn’t even sure she could do that right now. There was no way she could be pregnant, could she? But then a flash of blurry memory hit her, stumbling into Cassian’s room, the desperation, ripping each other’s clothes off and “oh fuck could I be pregnant?”

“I, erm, I don’t know,” was all she could stutter in a small voice, her throat constricting, making it difficult for her not to cry. She didn’t know for sure, but she suddenly had a very bad feeling about all of this.

“Right then, we will do a pregnancy test first in that case. I’ll just go get you some water because I’ll need a urine sample to find out for sure,” Theodora smiled at her before walking off towards the kitchen.

Nesta remained frozen on the bed, staring at the open door. She could hear Cassian speaking to the healer, but she couldn’t focus on what was being said, she couldn’t focus on anything. She was pregnant, she knew it as soon as Theodora has asked. This was just another way to punish her. It was probably that damned cauldron’s idea of a joke. Of course, she would get pregnant after the one time she slept with her ma- with Cassian. It was like the cauldron could tell that she would run, avoid him, push him away. But if she was pregnant with his child, then she couldn’t do that. Nesta would need him, would want him to be involved if she had his child.

Before she could go even further into her thought spiral, Theodora came back with a large glass of water, which she handed to Nesta as she shut the door again.

“The general tried to ask me questions, but don’t worry, I put him in his place and told him it was up to you to share any details with him,” Theodora said in a matter of fact tone.

Nesta couldn’t reply, so she simply gave a small nod of acknowledgement and started drinking her water. Once she had finished the entire glass, she put it on her bedside table and finally drew the courage to look at the healer who was now seated on the other end of her bed.

“What happens if I am?” Nesta couldn’t bring herself to say that word out loud yet.

“Then you have options. You don’t have to keep it. But if you decide you do then we can help you learn more.” There was no judgement in Theodora’s voice. Just soft, kind words, letting Nesta take control of a situation which already felt too out of control.

“What happens if I don’t want it.” Nesta could only whisper the question, looking down at her hands to avoid looking at the kind woman sat in front of her. She didn’t feel like she deserved the kindness, but right now she didn’t have the energy to stop her from being so kind.

“Then that is your decision. We would tell you about the process, what we do, how it works. In the end, it would just be like heavy bleeding, nothing more.”

“I thought that fae pregnancies were…” Nesta trailed off, not knowing what she was going to say. Her mind was spinning with so many thoughts, she could barely think straight.

“They are very rare, and when people want to be pregnant, then it is considered very blessed. But not everyone wants to keep that child. Not everyone’s circumstances are happy or healthy. Not everyone can afford to have that child. There are so many factors in pregnancies, not just someone putting their penis in a vagina.”

At the impassioned speech from Theodora, Nesta looked up to see something she couldn’t quite name painted across the healer’s face. All Nesta knew was that she felt understood. She felt unjudged and knew Theodora was not pitying her or the situation she was in. That helped calm the thoughts spinning around in her head.

"I don't know what I want." Nesta looked down at her hands which were folded in her lap as she finally admit out loud what she had felt since she had emerged from that cursed cauldron. Before that, when she was human, things were simple enough. Her ambitions were simply to marry someone so she could live comfortably. As a woman, Nesta was well aware that she needed someone to look after her and provide her. That was not the case for her in this new Fae world, the possibilities seemed endless for Nesta. However, Nesta felt overwhelmed with the amount of freedom she had suddenly gained in this new world, she had no idea what to do with it.

"You have some time. Think about it. It's early days yet. Finding out you're pregnant is always a shock, it can take some time to come to terms with that. There are other options too. Many Fae can't have children, so there's always the idea of adoption. Many loving parents would happily raise your child if you are not able to. You can choose to be involved if you want to, or not at all. The possibilities are endless." Theodora started packing her things away, not looking at Nesta as she spoke, which Nesta was grateful for.

"I... thank you."

"You're welcome. If you need someone to talk to, just know that I will all always be kept confidential. Even the high lord and lady could not make me break my oath to the people I serve. You know where to find me if you need me Nesta." Nesta gave a small nod, still not able to look up at the healer.

“Do you need the bathroom yet?” Nesta thought for a second and then nodded. Theodora handed her a vial and instructed her to try and gather as much urine into the vial as possible, which seemed disgusting but Nesta went to the bathroom to do as she had been told.

She came back and handed the vial to Theodora, cringing as she did. Nesta sat back down on the bed as she watched Theodora put a leaf, which she had kept out of her bags into her urine sample. The leaf floated and started to shrivel up as soon as it was emerged in the urine, turning a funny orange colour with little brown splotches on it.

“What does that mean?” Nesta whispered, not being able to look away from the leaf.

“It means that you’re pregnant my dear.” There was a short silence, as though Theodora was waiting for Nesta to say something, but when she didn't Theodora spoke again, breaking the awkward silence. "I will prepare the herbs you will need to drink in your morning tea and send them along to you. If you drink the tea from the herbs every morning, it should help with your morning sickness. If it persists despite the tea then let me know."

"Thank you," Nesta murmured again, as though unable to think of what else to say in the face of such kindness from a virtual stranger, still trying to process what she had just been told, that her suspicions were correct. Theodora simply nodded and left the cottage, not even glancing at Cassian as she left.

Cassian walked up to Nesta's room after Theodora left, leaning on the door frame and looked at Nesta's pale face as she stared at her hands, but not really seeing anything. It seemed Nesta was miles away, so he cleared his throat in order to get her attention.

"Is everything alright?" His eyes looking over her body for signs of an injury, as though there would be something he could see on her body causing her to be unwell.

"I'm fine," Nesta said, looking up at Cassian finally. He was trying to look casual, as though there was nothing going on, but Nesta could see the tension he was holding in his shoulders. He was worried about her. The realisation came with a large amount of shock. She couldn't quite believe that he was worried about her. Perhaps her shock got the better of her because before she could stop herself, she blurted out "I'm pregnant."

Nesta's eyes widened as she cursed herself internally for not being able to keep her mouth shut. She looked up to see Cassian, to see he had frozen in shock, his eyes wide, staring at Nesta. Nesta could feel her heart beating in her chest, the tears starting to fill her eyes as Cassian said nothing, and just stared at her with different emotions flitting across his face, too quickly for her to guess what they might mean.

"I... who? Is it... am I?" Cassian eventually managed to choke out, his eyes drifting to her stomach almost unconsciously.

"It," Nesta paused, wondering if she should lie, not tell Cassian he was the father, wondering if she could somehow take all of it back. But she knew she couldn't when she saw Cassian looking at her flat stomach. His expression had finally settled on something, and that was hope. Nesta knew after spending time in the Illyrian camps, that Cassian's childhood had been terrible. She knew that Cassian would never, not in a million lifetimes, abandon this baby. "It's yours." She whispered, a tear managing to escape her eye. She quickly wiped it, but knew that it hadn't gone unnoticed. Nothing Nesta did ever went unnoticed where Cassian was concerned.

"Do you want it?" Cassian asked softly. She knew that he would never begrudge her if she wanted to get rid of the baby. She could see, and she knew, that Cassian would love this baby with everything he had, but if Nesta decided she didn't want this baby, he would never hold it against her, and never stop her from getting rid of it. If she allowed him to, she knew he would be with her every step of the way for that too, even if it broke his heart.

"I don't know." She closed her eyes, hoping that it would stop any more tears from escaping.

"I'll stand by you, whatever you choose. You know that, right?" Cassian asked, almost desperately, like he needed to know that she knew this was her choice, and he would never leave her. The desperation in his voice reminded her of the metallic smell of the blood that the ground soaked up, his warm body beneath hers as he gasped for air and told her to leave him to die alone.

Nesta couldn't get the words out, they got stuck in her throat. She choked out a small sob, unable to stop herself, and gave him a small nod, overcome with emotions. Before she could try to compose herself, to put up the icy exterior she relied on so much, she felt something warm and solid wrap around her. Cassian was silent as he held Nesta in his arms, something he hadn't done since the night they had spent together. Nesta finally let herself cry, unable to keep her emotions at bay any longer.

When she felt like she couldn't cry anymore, like she had run out of tears to cry, she slowly pulled away from Cassian's chest, where he had been holding her and stroking her back, telling her everything would be alright. She looked up at the male who had been by her side every step of the way, whether she wanted him there or not.

She could feel her exhaustion taking over her, hitting her like a hammer. She tried to search for something to say, but didn't know how to put into words what she was feeling, not when she didn't even understand her emotions herself.

"You should rest," Cassian said softly, as he moved her so she was lying down on her pillow. He pulled her blankets over her, smoothed her hair down and kissed her forehead. Nesta was asleep before he had even left the room, feeling calmer than she had any right to be.

Tags list: @hizqueen4life @kelly-fasel @sannelovesreading @acourtofmarauders @maastrash

#my fic #bottled up storms #bottled up storms c1 #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta x cassian #acotar #acowar #acotar ff #acomaf #acofas #acosf

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jksofficialwifey · 5 years ago

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Kiss me, Heal me. 2

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: When Jungkook gets injured just before an important game, he sets out to find his soulmate to heal him. In a world where soulmates can heal all kinds of illnesses by kissing, he’s desperate to find his, even if he doesn’t know you yet. What happens if he does find you? Will you kiss a stranger who claims to be your soulmate?

WC: 3k+

tags: idiots and enemies to lovers, a lil slowburn, a bit of angst, soulmate culture, smut in the future.

pls don’t repost my fic anywhere, if i ever find out you stole my fic idea you’ll regret it. thanks :)

A/N: this is unedited as always so sowee 👅💋 hope ya still like it tho! enjoy loves. :)

I also rec. listening to these songs while reading this: sigrid - mine right now, and Let Go by BTS.

chapter summary: You were about to kiss Jungkook to finally get the whole ordeal over with and never talk to him again. But then, someone familiar shows up to ruin it all.

You had a lovely dessert at your fave icecream shop, courtesy to Jungkook for giving you free banana sundaes. Charlie came along too of course, as if she’d pass up free icecream. You talked about when you were gonna do it, and you clarified if his girlfriend really approved the whole situation. He said she did, and you were relieved but at the same time still nervous about it. You were gonna kiss Jungkook, and it was gonna be your first.(the boy you bumped your lip with cos he snapped his head towards you so fast doesn’t count so) Just thinking about it is giving you all the nerves.

Your first kiss was really gonna be for pity huh. how unfortunate for you. At least you’re helping someone, someone that’s your soulmate that is. The good thing about having soulmates in this world is at least, they’re purposeful. Not like the ones you read in books who are just soulmates and then what? they kiss and fall in love- lmao what do they contribute to society? maybe you’re bitter cos no one’s ever liked you before, but you at least have a point, No matter how shitty it is.

Anyway, After you guys finished your dessert Charlie went home, as you both decided to do the thing now at his place. In his room. When you arrived at Jungkook’s dorm room, you noticed that it was clean and quite organized. Not really what you were expecting a guy’s room to be. He had posters of linkin park, and IU lmao. Albeit, you were really surprised that the jock’s room was neat. Your zoning out was interrupted by the hot jock speaking.

“Uh…You should make yourself comfortable Y/N. I mean, you can. Let’s get it done with so it’ll be over and I don’t have to bother you anymore.” He said not meaning to be cold, but just being honest. “Of course.” you replied indifferently. You sat on his bed as you didn’t really find somewhere else that was comfortable to do your smooching- lol smooching, now you’ve become cringy.

Jungkook sat soon after- he changed his shirt, which he asked you if you didn’t mind as men didn’t have such big tits anyway, and he was trying to make the mood lighter. You agreed of course, you didn’t mind seeing shirtless men. You had male neighbors before who didn’t even care to put on a shirt when they went out. Also, you didn’t understand why girls in kdramas would scream if they saw one, it wasn’t such a big deal. But then you thought, maybe it’s because koreans are conservative that’s why they’re shocked when they see shirtless guys.

Actually, you did mind that Jungkook changed in front of you. His abs were so delectable you wanted to lick them. You weren’t a pervert but you were kinda a pervert, let’s stop kidding here. And you were quite sure that his body was sculpted by the gods themselves. And his biceps were so big- ughh you wanted to be choked by them and let him end your misery. Was he really your soulmate? what did you do in your past life to deserve him? But then again, it doesn’t matter. He has a girlfriend and he’ll never like you. He’s way too out of your league and you’re aware of it. Nevertheless, it still didn’t stop the way your heart jumped when he told you, “You really wouldn’t mind right? I am your soulmate after all.” And then he smirked right after.

That beautifully annoying smirk of his,that you’ve now come to hate. And now you’re both sat on his bed, preparing for the inevitable. He breaks the awkwardness when he talks first,“Um…so can we do it now?” he asks. “Uh, yea.” you shyly replied. He leaned towards you, face inching closer, closer than ever and just when he was 1cm from your lips the door opened, astounding you both from the person who just got in.

“Chaeyoung? what are you doing here?” Jungkook asked the girl who just barged in. Chaeyoung? is she his girlfriend? “Baby, I wanted to see you. I realized just how much i missed you. But who’s she? are you cheating on me?” her tone suddenly raised when she realized how close the two of you were.

“No chae, you’ve got it wrong. This is Y/N. My soulmate. I’ve told you about her right?” Jungkook said. “Oh. yea. So are you done doing it yet?” she asked looking at you menacingly. “No we haven’t yet, because you barged in. Can you leave for a bit so we can have some privacy?” Jungkook replied.

“Me? leaving? no way kook. I just came here, and if she’s gonna kiss you then I might as well be here so there’s no funny business that’s gonna happen.”

“lmao, as if anything’s gonna happen.” you retorted mumbling a bit. “Excuse me, what did you say?” she asked you. “Oh, nothing.” you said with sarcasm hinting your voice. “Okay chae, why are you here again? we talked about this already. You agreed,” Jungkook said, confused.

“Yes, but… as I’ve said, I missed you Kook. And now I realized I can’t bear to see you kiss someone else. Can we just find another way?” she dramatically whined.

“Chae, it’s just gonna be a short kiss. It’s better and easier than doing a blood transfusion. You know I’m afraid of needles…” Jungkook reasoned. “But Kook! I really can’t handle letting you, my boyfriend- kiss someone else. Please…Just do the blood transfusion…” She then sobbed with her crocodile tears. Jungkook didn’t seem to notice it, or he at least pretended not to notice how fake her tears were. You did though.

“Fine. I’ll do it for you, because I want to save this-” Jungkook seemed to remember you were still in the room, and he looked towards you. Chaeyoung seemed to remember too, so she screamed in joy interrupting him from continuing what he was gonna say and chaeyoung hugged her boyfriend, thanking him a lot.

You went home after the drama that happened, though you didn’t know why you were a bit disappointed that you failed your mission? lmao, kissing jungkook was your mission? You should stop having stupid thoughts, it won’t do you any good. It won’t save your stone cold but still fragile heart. You thought about what Jungkook was almost gonna say, what did he mean by saving their… relationship? was it relationship that he was gonna say? could it be that they were having it rough? If they’re gonna break up then, that means you still have a chance. You smacked your head with your hand, now you were just being delusional. You shouldn’t wish for people to break up ughh, what was happening to you. You weren’t really like this.

This soulmate thing is just messing with your head. And he’s messing with your head. Your phone beeped and you opened it to see a message from Jungkook. He said if you were up to do the blood transfusion tomorrow, and you replied yes. Blood transfusion is another way to heal soulmates, though it’s draining. You and your soulmate’s blood is believed to have healing properties. made just for the both of you, if you gave it to another person it wouldn’t have any effect. It’d just be a normal blood transfusion.

You and Jungkook walked inside the soulmate hospital, you had made small talk on the way there. You encouraged and comforted him that it’ll be alright, that It’ll feel like just an ant biting you. He agreed with you but he still looked nervous. After a while, the doctor came and asked you both if you were ready to start the procedure and you both said yes, but jungkook said if he could talk to you for a bit, before you start with it. “Jungkook are you okay? What did you want to talk about?” You asked, concern etched in your face.

“Y/N…I’m still kinda nervous about this whole thing. It’s too embarrassing to say this but I got traumatized when I was a child. The nurse before accidentally injected me in the wrong place and the needle almost broke. What if it happens again?” He looked so scared, you felt really bad for him.“Jungkook I’m sorry that happened to you. If you don’t wanna do it right now, I understand and it’s okay with me. But i think the doctor that’s gonna assist us is great and I’m positive he won’t make a mistake like that. Let’s just have faith on the positive side.” You tried to assure him.

“And Jungkook, I’m here. I won’t let them make a mistake, even if they do, I’ll sue them for even just rubbing the wrong alcohol in your arm. So don’t worry to much, I’m here. Were in this together.” You said comforting him. He smiled a little at what you said, it seemed to have calmed down his nerves a little.“Fine, I’ll do it. But, you need to promise not to laugh at me if I scream okay?” you nodded and said yes.

After an hour the transfusion was done and you were now both heading home. or you were at least. “Jungkook I told you it wouldn’t be that bad.” you said. “Yeah…I guess I was just a big coward. But thanks anyway, for helping me and all. I can finally go back to practice and live my life like I used to.” Yeah, a life without me. Of course, just the way it is. “Thank you really Y/N. You don’t know how grateful I am for you. For finding you.” He stared at you for so long, you’re afraid you’d melt soon. “Eh, it’s no biggie. I am a good person after all. An angel if you must know,” You said with a teasing tone at the end.

“Of course you are. Thank you again my angel, for healing me. Though I would’ve preferred it more if you used the other method-” Jungkook stopped talking when his phone rang. It was his girlfriend chaeyoung you assumed. Since he looked quite disoriented. “Uh, Y/N it was chae. She said she’ll pick me up. Are you going home now? you could ride with us and I’ll drop you off to your place.” He offered.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll just take the bus or walk. It’s good exercise anyway.” You replied. You didn’t wanna third wheel with them. “Oh, are you sure? it’s the least I could do to repay you.” “Yeah, I’m sure. And you better not forget my lifetime supply of free banana sundaes and one favor that I could ask from you at any time.” You reminded him.

“Oh right. I almost forgot. And here I thought you were a real angel.” He joked. “Excuse me, of course I am. You’re just indebted to an angel that’s why you need to pay.” you retorted. The bus came and you decided to skip exercise for another day. “I’m just gonna ride the bus. Goodbye kook, hope I’ll never see you again except to give me my free sundaes.” You teased him. “Hey, I hope I never see you again too!” He taunted back.

And you rode the bus getting away from him, too scared that you might stare at him again, and never forget his face.

You didn’t know why your head wouldn’t stop pounding. Your nose wouldn’t stop sneezing, your throat felt like hell and you felt literally sick. Maybe you were sick. Ugh. What a bad timing to get the flu. You were feeling weak since the blood transfusion some days ago, and now you’re quite sure you’ve got the flu. Wth. The doctor did say though, there were side effects of resisting the natural way to heal soulmates. Urgh. You hated that you had to suffer like this. Stupid Jungkook and his stupid cute face. You were still scrolling thru his instagram, yas you gave each other your social media accs. You wanted to save money than buying load so it was easier. Fortunately had free wifi in your dorm, though it was unstable sometimes.

He posted something recently on his account, you noticed. It was Him in his soccer uniform, captioned with “I’m back y'all. I missed working hard during practice 👅 or noT-” He still looked good as ever. You think he dyed his hair blond? or was it just the tips? whatever. It was hidden in the cap he was wearing, lmao he looked like a baseball player more than a soccer one. Meanwhile he was looking like a God, you were here looking like you were dying. Just your casual look even worse. Also seeing his girlfriend’s comment just made your migraine worse. She said something about Jungkook being hot. Wew, wish everyone could have a boyfriend as hot as him. You said sarcastically in your thoughts.

You were too sick to go to class today, so you texted Charlie you wouldn’t be able to come because of your annoying flu. You also asked her to buy some paracetamol and decongestants. You were gonna sleep it off and hopefully, after a few days you’ll get better. You can’t afford to miss any class and you had a part time job as a tutor in your university that you should do.

When Charlie found out that you were still ill, and it’s been 5 days already, she made up a plan. You weren’t gonna like it, but maybe you’ll thank her someday. She had a knack that you would. So she texted the only person that knew how to help you. She texted Jungkook, your cute ass soulmate.

Jungkook was busy with practice and trying not to die from his girlfriend’s wrath. They were fighting again, that’s just what they do these days. And he was kinda sick of it, to be honest. If they weren’t fighting, she’s ignoring him. And if he ignores her back, she’ll just blame it on him for not communicating with her. He wasn’t even sure if he still liked her? He’s been contemplating his feelings for her for so long now. He was out of his reverie when he got a text from someone. It was Charlie? What would Charlie want with him? He read it and saw that it was bout Y/N. She was sick? Charlie told him that she got sick because of helping him, so he needs to help her too. Jungkook asked her how he could help, and charlie said, he just needed to be with her. To take care of her.

He was busy but finding out his soulmate was sick because of him, made him feel guilty and shitty too. So he agreed to Charlie’s plan. He’ll surprise her at her dorm. ‘Cause the girl may have hinted that y/n didn’t want to see him, so he’ll just have to surprise her.

When Jungkook arrived at your dorm, charlie accompanied him and told him where your room was. He was holding a fruit basket but there was also 2 boxes of ramen in it. lol. He even bought you a Peppa Pig stuffed toy, because Charlie said it’d cheer you up. Did you really like Peppa Pig? whatever. Charlie went home right away- after pushing Jungkook to knock on the door.

You were expecting Charlie when you opened the door, And you didn’t expect to see him instead. It didn’t help that he looked handsome and cute as ever too. He was in his casual polo shirt and skinny tight ripped jeans, and you couldn’t help but gawk at him for a few seconds. “What are you doing here Jungkook?” You asked. You were also reminded of your current physical state. You looked like trash.

“Uh… I came to see if you were okay. How are you doing?” He asked, “I’m fine Jungkook. You didn’t have to come here.” You didn’t mean to be rude, but you didn’t want him to see you like this. Ugly and sick. Or more like uglier, since you were already ugly to you. You were embarrassed to be seen by him like this you guessed. “You don’t look fine to me though? Are you sure?” He retorted.

“I’m sure kook, why ask if you knew already anyway?” you couldn’t hold back from being a bitch today. You still felt like shit and he just had to see it too. You just had to see him too. “I’m sorry then. Stop being a twat, I bought some ramen and fruits.” He said, holding them out to you. And you finally noticed the fruit basket he was holding. You also noticed something else. “Is that a Peppa pig plushie? Wtf.” You commented.

“Um, yea Charlie said you’d like it- I mean I thought you’d like it…” he said, caught in his lie but he still tried to save her. Though you knew better that he really planned this with your friend. traitors. You were gonna take your revenge after you’re healed.“Drop it Jungkook, I know charlie sent you here.” You said coldly, “Also, you shouldn’t have listened to her. I hate peppa pig. But thanks anyway.” You replied as you took the plushie and placed it somewhere.

“I also bought more of your meds, I’ll just put them here.” He said as he placed some paracetamol on your table. “I’ll cook some ramen now, You want some right?” He inquired. “Yeah, I guess.”

Jungkook and you ate your ramen in peace for the time being. After eating, he made sure you drank your meds, and you both cuddled in your bed to watch Shrek on your laptop. You didn’t wanna cuddle him but he insisted, even if you told him he might get sick too, and then you’ll both be sick. How will you take care of each other then? He just shrugged it off. It was like that for a few days, though you still felt nauseous. It was on the last day that you were sick that something happened. Something you didn’t expect, and should never have happened.

You were both watching twilight: breaking dawn part 1 where Bella looked like shit carrying Renesmee inside her, when he asked you something. “Y/N…” “What is it kook? you’re interrupting the movie.” “Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“Yea i guess. now shut up, let’s get back to watching the movie.” You told him. “But you still feel like shit right? maybe like bella except less worse. What if I suggest something?” He was looking at you, body turned to you but you were too dumb to notice. “I’m fine Kook, I’m giving you one last chance to shut the hell up.” You taunted him, He didn’t seem to be offended by it even just a little.

“What if I do the natural way to make you feel better?” He was asking you a weird question. What is he even suggesting? “What do you mean you idiot?” You said, still not paying too much attention on him. You were still trying to watch the damn movie, or at least pretending to do so. Even though his nice scenting cologne, and his attractiveness was really distracting.

“What if I did this-” He grabbed your face and sealed your lips with his. What the actual fuck. He’s kissing you. And you’re letting him. You’re letting him because you want to, of course. That’s the only thing not stopping him. You wanted him to kiss you too. Oh, you were feeling better already. Is this what a soulmate’s healing kiss feels like? it feels surreal. Like sparks flying and your soul ascending wtf.

You don’t even know how to kiss someone, but you kissed him back. His tongue asking permission to enter your mouth. And then, you were french kissing him. Wow, who knew your perverted ass could be a pro at this. He suddenly stopped kissing you, and you were afraid he regretted it. “I’ve been wanting to do that since we met you know? At least now, we’re even.” He’s so annoying. You really hate him a lot.

You couldn’t really speak, you were catching your breath too. You suddenly felt shy and hugged peppa pig kook instead, yeah. That’s what you named the plushie he gave you. Will he leave now? or will you make out forever? What does he mean by doing all of this? What about Chaeyoung? Ugh. Whatever, it doesn’t matter 'cause it feels like he’s yours right now. As he always should’ve been.

TBC. 💜 positive feedback and reblogs are highly appreciated! your comments are what inspires us writers to write more! so pls do comment what u liked about the story, for me to give you fast updates ty.

taglist: @mrcleanheichou @taehyungiev13 @hunnayesblog @busansgloss @binki-g @hoodmeup

Ch. 3 is done but im letting Early Access readers read it first, so if you wanna read the next chapter now just buy me a coffee on ko-fi and I'll email the chapter to u! Thankiezz 💜😘 ily all https://ko-fi.com/neinyajung

next chapter taglist notifs will now be on the tumblr groupchat i made for KMHM readers. if u wanna be tagged, reblog and comment on this chapter to be invited on the gc! ty 💜

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poptartmochi · 4 years ago

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thank you for the tag, @skogenflicka!! ily and hope you’re doing okay! ^^/

1. What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

sarah, but sriracha is also fine!!

2. When is your birthday?

july 6th!

3. Where do you live?

flo rida_good feeling.mp4

4. Three things you are doing right now?

listening to true damage, opening up the file of the Giant Final, and going through my survey results!

5. Four fandoms that have piqued your interest

haha i’ve been in dragon age hell for almost a year now so i haven’t cared about much else ngl... ben and i played through yakuza 0 + kiwami 1 last month and they were really good! once i get more money, we’re gonna go through the rest of the series :) besides that, i’ve been eyeing ducktales + rottmnt for the longest time, and I think I’ll get into them once the semester is over! (G)I-DLE has been creeping into my recommended bc I’ve been listening to a lot of K/DA lately, too haha

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

things could definitely be a Lot Worse, but things have been really terrible mentally. i think this year has been the worst one i’ve ever lived tbh

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

hmm.... probably Drum Go Dum from K/DA!

8. Recommend a movie

love yourself + watch the first Mortal Kombat movie from the 90′s :’) do not watch the second one, do not pass go and collect $200

9. How old are you?

20!

10. School, university, occupation, other?

uni- i’m just about to finish up my associate’s degree! im hoping we can stomp out coronavirus soon so I can go look for a job, but until things calm down it’s really out of the question rn bc my mom is older + has issues And goes to take care of my grandma every other day..

11. Do you prefer heat or cold?

cold! my skin goes crazy goes stupid when its warm so. :’)

12. Name one fact others may not know about you.

hm....i have a whopping $12 to my name right now ;u;

13. Are you shy?

kind of? online, i definitely think so, bc it’s hard to just come into other people’s curated spaces and start vibing with them without feeling like a Bother. it’s easier to go up to people in real life ^^

14. Preferred pronouns?

she/her!

15. Biggest pet peeves?

ohhhhmyGOD.. i don’t think many people can relate to this but god fuck. one of the worst parts of having eczema, beyond. the Eczema Experience. is when you put lotion on your neck w/o showering or Prepping beforehand and have to deal with the subsequent breakout that will inevitably happen ughhhh. i would give literally anything to not have eczema lmao ; _ ;

16. What is your favourite “-dere” type?

in the year of our lord 2020??? apolutely not luv xoxoxo

17. Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

i think like.. maybe a 7? i have it a lot better than others but ofc there’s been some really shitty parts and the mental illness definitely hasn’t helped in that regard lol

18. What’s your main blog?

this one!

19. List your side blogs and what they’re used for.

ohhh god.. callout post for one (1) sarah, i have so many ;___; i actually need to delete a few old ones that haven’t been used in Years, so i’ll only list the ones that’ll survive the purge. i also have a jjba sideblog but I’m not comfortable w/ everyone on main knowing what it is so. it shall go unnamed :’) most of my sideblogs are for fandoms i’m in, bc I get all weird about rb’ing content from them to my main blog since nobody followed my main blog for that yk? but then it creates a spooky loop where people from the sideblogs follow my main and are like.....this is Not the same person from the sideblog shghasjgkja

@arainayeet - dragon age

@nisiki-nishiki - yakuza/like a dragon

@leucinefinds - sims cc >w<

@leuciini - old aes blog

@tempest-rhapsody - the Yearning, luvs

20. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

i am SO bad about messaging first and taking up people’s time. this has led to the silent death of many friendships ;__;

tagging: @darthyolk @fullmetal-the-last-alchemist @gamer-grandma @mrscitty @lotuscoves @trans-fushiguro (if you want to!! ^^)

#long post #tag game #sriracha.txt

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neon-junkie · 5 years ago

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Mi Querido

Summary: Whilst dating John, you finally realize who in the camp is in love with you, and decide to make those feelings mutual.

Pairing: Javier Escuella X GN!Reader

Word Count: 3522

Rating: SFW Tags: Friends to lovers, First kiss, Fluff, Slow burn, Guitar playing, Boat ride, Breakup, Angst.

Notes: This was meant to be a short drabble, maybe a few hundred words, but I got hella carried away lmao. Requests always open!

You and John had been dating for a few weeks now. It was quite sudden, though you always had a soft spot for the young cowboy, you never expected the feelings to be mutual. John was a sweetheart; loving, caring, soft. His confession of feelings towards you stumbled out of his mouth one day when the two of you were on a mission together. Maybe he was nervous? Maybe it was a genuine accident? Who knows. It led to the two of you coming back from the mission hand in hand with a nice wad of cash.

Everybody in the camp was so supportive. Abigail didn't seem to care.

You got along with pretty much everyone, hating Micah just like the rest of the clique. You had done your fair share of robberies with Arthur, hunting trips with Charles, drinking with Sean, fishing with Javier. You felt like you fit in well here, and it appears the gang felt mutual.

One of your closest companions was Javier. You wouldn't say you had a best friend, but Javier was one of few that you found yourself hanging out with the most. You tried to love all your friends equal, but it appeared that no matter what, you'd end up besides Javier as you sat by the campfire, or pitching your tent next to his. Maybe he gave you some form of comfort or protection?

Javier had been distant lately.

You had asked to go fishing with him, he quickly revealed he had made plans. It felt like an excuse.

You sat next to him at dinner one night, he quickly excused himself saying he was going for a piss, then never came back.

You asked him for a game of five finger fillet. For the first-ever time, he declined, saying his hands already ached.

You sat with John and a group of others at the table, playing a game of Poker. You weren't great but meh, who cares, you didn't bet much on it. John couldn't help but keep jokingly peek at your cards, making you giggle and hide them each time. Bill kept complaining you two were cheating and working together, so on the next game you and John sat closer and had a hand together. Bill couldn't complain if you shared your cards.

You could see Javier in the distance, sat around the campfire with few others, playing to himself and keeping his input to their conversation a minimum. Your eyes flicked over him and were met as he flicked his eyes over at you from under his hat.

You both looked away.

This happened a few times throughout the night.

You could feel Javier watching you. You could feel him strumming louder every time you and John spoke. Louder as you laughed. Louder as you both flirted.

Javier was drowning you out. You didn't understand why.

You lay awake that night, huddled up to John in his cot. His cheek rested against your forehead, lightly snoring, arms around you.

You thought of Javier.

You thought about the first time he took you fishing. How he helped you as you struggled to reel in your first catch, standing behind you and reaching round to place his hands on top of yours. You remembered the rough skin of his palms sliding over the back of your hand, his breath on the back of your neck, his chest pressed against your back. It was a big catch, Javier was thrilled for you. He congratulated you and looked at you with happy, puppy-like eyes.

You thought about the time you were ill for a week, bed-bound, unable to walk on your own. Javier had stuck by your side the most, but not to the point where it was clingy. He brought you food as often as he could, most of it from his own private stash as Pearsons cooking would only make you sicker. You thought about how he held a cold wet towel over your forehead often, how he stroked your hair to comfort you as you fell asleep, how he held you tightly and calmed you after you broke down, worried that you'd never get better.

You thought about the many times you wandered around the camp at night, unable to sleep. But the one time that struck you the most was when Javier had caught you awake. He had cooed you over to him and told you to get comfortable on his roll mat, picking up his guitar as you lay down. Javier strummed lightly. You watched him through half-lidded eyes, the campfire in the distance outlining him like a halo, his long black hair resting lightly over his face as his back half-faced you. You woke during the night to find him next to you, his blanket draped over you as he lay on his front beside you, arm lightly around your waist.

You had felt something then. You had felt something as you shuffled closer to him, pulling the blanket over him also. You had felt something as he instinctively rolled onto his side and pulled you into him, his thumb stroking over yours as you fell back asleep.

Back then you just thought it was a platonic feeling. You were glad you could snuggle up to your friends. Your interpretations of your own feelings were wrong.

You had felt something different when you woke the next morning to find him gone. Bill had questioned why you were sleeping on Javier's roll mat. You had shrugged him off and went back to your own tent.

Somehow, you had finally realized what these feelings were.

You got up from Johns cot, quietly making your way around the camp in the dead of night. Javier was nearby, on guard duty. He looked over his shoulder to see you coming his way, and quickly turned back, almost as if he pretended to not notice you approaching.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" You asked as you stood beside him, turned to face him. He kept facing forward.

"I haven't," Javier replied coldly.

"You haven't properly spoken to me in weeks!" You scolded.

"And it's taken you this long to notice? Not a day? Not even a few days?" Javier said as he turned to face you, holding the shotgun down beside him in one hand. Javier huffed as he looked away from you, facing forward, the shadow of his hat covering half of his angered expression.

There was a moment of silence.

"I know why you're mad," You said to him. Javier didn't reply.

"I never realized before that you were into me."

"How? Everbody could see it."

"I guess I just saw your gestures as being friendly. It only came to mind now. I feel ashamed that it took me this long to realize," you said as you looked down.

"Why does it matter now? You have John," Javier said as he waved his hand, shrugging you off.

You wanted to say more to him.

You didn't know what to say.

You left him to it.

The next few days you spent mostly alone, taking long walks, reading a book, going hunting, but never fishing, as that just reminded you of Javier. Lovely Javier. With his tanned skin and dark mustache that never met in the middle. With his long hair that he always tied back in a cute little ponytail. With his large rough hands that you now realized were always aching to be touching your skin.

Javier clogged up your thoughts.

Javier was the reason you failed to launch your bow at this deer you were hunting. The deer ran away.

More days passed. John was asking you on the daily if you were okay, kissing your temple, holding your hands in his. He loved physical affection, especially with you, but noticed you were sympathetically giving it back, rather than giving it back because you loved him. Your two-way relationship was turning into a one-way street.

You noticed John sat with Javier one night, talking to him quietly. Javier seemed to be acting himself, though slightly distant. You saw John talking for a while, he looked like he was stumbling on his words. Javier had shrugged back at him. John looked annoyed. You overheard Javier apologize to John and say he wasn't sure how to help him, then excuse himself from the table. As Javier was walking off, John raised his voice and asked if there was anyone in this camp who didn't seem distant and down. He huffed.

The day you broke up with John was not a nice one. It was dark and gloomy out, the sun seemed to never rise that day. You'd never apologized so much to someone in your life, saying how the problem was you, not him. John didn't seem surprised by the breakup, mentioning how you'd been so off with him lately. He couldn't be mad at you, and just wished you the best for your happiness. He asked if you two could still be friends, you smiled sweetly and said "always," before kissing him on the forehead one last time.

A few nights later, you sat at the campfire by yourself. Yet again you were up, unable to sleep. Charles had checked on you as he went onto his watch, giving you a hug and reminding you that he's always there for you. Charles was so sweet. You were glad you'd met him. A little while later you heard someone walking back into camp, it was Javier.

"Why are you awake?" He asked you as he approached you.

"Can't sleep," you replied.

"Mi querido, you can never seem to sleep."

You hadn't heard him call you that in so long. My dear, his dear. You had missed his company over the weeks, realizing how much you had isolated yourself.

"(Y/N)?" he asked. You clicked out of your train of thought, realizing you hadn't replied to Javier.

"Yeah?" You asked.

Javier paused for a while.

"You broke up with Marston," he said in a half statement, half questioning way.

"I did."

"Why?" He asks.

"I.. I don't know. I didn't feel right- I don't feel right," you said, correcting yourself.

"It is hard to love someone when your head isn't clear," Javier said, from experience. You hummed in agreement. The two of you paused in silence again.

"I will leave you to it. Goodnight," Javier said, then left. You wanted to turn around and call for him to come back, call for him to sit beside you so you could lay your head on his shoulder and entwine his fingers in yours. Your throat got stuck, unable to call out for him. Was it the fear of rejection? Who knows.

You woke the next day, still not used to being in your own bed. Your tent flaps were closed, keeping the rays of sunlight and the harsh morning cold out. Most of the company had small open tents, ones you thought could barely be called a tent. You had cashed out on a much nicer one, giving you both warmth and privacy. Slightly disorientated, you got up and reached over to your bedside table (which was just an empty crate) to have a sip of water. You felt your hand grab something silky and soft instead. You looked over to see a flower there, freshly picked, bright and loving.

Javier.

You had placed the flower into a spare cup of water and kept it beside your bed. Javier hadn't spoken to you much, only passing comments when you were in a group of people. He and you had had no alone time, and no chances to be alone together either.

But the flowers continued to come. Every morning one was added to your cup at your bedside. Always the first thing to brighten your day.

The cup began to fill quickly and one morning you woke to see it had been replaced with an actual vase, along with another fresh flower.

You had tried to stay up a few times in hope to catch Javier sneaking into your tent. Maybe you'd confront him. Maybe you'd pretend to be asleep. Maybe you'd ask him to stay by your side, hopefully forever. Though every time you'd always ended up falling asleep. For once you were able to sleep at night as if waking up to these flowers was motivation for you to get some rest.

The girls had once commented on how you always had a lovely bunch of flowers by your bed, seeing as you left your tent flaps open during the day. They asked who was picking them for you. You shrugged, pretending not to know. Karen bet it was John trying to win you back, Tilly half agreed, the other half thinking John had moved on by now.

A part of you then realized it could be John. There was nothing to say who it was. There was nothing to say it was Javier. For all you know, Javier could have also moved on by now and destroyed any hope he had in being with you.

You went to bed that night unsettled.

The next day you woke to a sight. It was as if the person who was leaving these flowers had heard yours and the girls's conversation the day before.

There was flowers everywhere.

Everywhere.

Your usual bunch sat on your bedside table, fuller than ever. But there were also flowers dotted around your tent. Bunches placed over the crates and chests where you store your clothes, petals scattered over the floor, the stems of some had been placed through the loops in your tent flaps, not that you ever did them up anyway, or at least you hadn't since they started leaving flowers every night. Your tent was covered. They were all different closers, shapes, and sizes. Whoever left them had clearly spent a long time collecting them, let alone placing them around your tent.

You were glad you didn't have hay fever.

You went to put your usual attire on when you saw a box on top of your clothes crate. You brushed the flowers off and opened it, looking inside to see clothing. By the shoulders, you pulled it out the box, presenting it in front of you. You eyed up the most gorgeous, and expensive (dress/shirt) you had ever seen. The fabrics pattern was of course, floral. You didn't hesitate to put it on and put extra effort into your appearance today. You felt special, you felt loved.

As you left your tent, the first thing you noticed was that the flowers didn't end there. There was a soft scatter of petals outside your door. A trail. You looked up to see where the trail leads off to - off into the woods. That was when you noticed the amount of eyes on you. Half the camp was eyeing you up, smiling.

The gang was a hard bunch of outlaws, but they seemed to be soft today. As if the loving gesture had an effect on everyone.

"You won't need your horse, it doesn't go too far," you heard Arthur call out to you. You nodded and began following it.

Arthur was right. It was a small walk, that leads you through a path in the woods, then broke off to head towards the beach. As the trail began to come to an end, you could faintly hear the soft strumming of a guitar.

Javier.

Without noticing you picked up the pace, coming out of the forest and into contact with the beach.

There he was.

Leaning back against a boulder for support, Javier was looking down at his guitar whilst he played. He looked smart; hair in its usual ponytail but clean for once, clean white shirt on, polished shoes, smart black trousers, and a waistcoat with a matching floral pattern to the outfit he had left out for you. There were flowers threaded into the head of his guitar.

"You came," he said as he looked up. It made you feel like he wasn't expecting you'd come, that he wasn't expecting you to still have feelings for him, if he even knew you had any to begin with.

"Of course," was all you could respond. You wanted to tell him to love him. You wanted to tell him you're sorry. You wanted to run over and kiss him. You froze in the moment.

"Join me?" Javier asked as he paused his playing to point over to the rowing boat pushed on the shore of the beach. You never even noticed it was there, too starstruck from the look of Javier.

You nodded, making your way over. You instinctively began pushing the rowboat offshore. Javier tutted you, ordering you to get in as he placed his guitar in there. How Javier managed to get the two of you offshore without getting any of his clothes wet was beyond you.

But here you were, looking over the landscape as Javier rowed.

"You're quiet. Something wrong, mi querido?" he asked.

"I was just admiring the view," you said as you smiled at him.

"Me too," he replied. You were the view. The only time he had taken his eyes off you was to check where he was rowing you out to. "You want to play whilst I row?" Javier asks you, eyeing at his guitar.

"Sure," you said as you picked his guitar up.

Javier had taught you a few things here and there. He was always very excited whenever you asked for a lesson off him. Never hesitating on sitting close to you, moving his fingers on top of yours to help you press the chords, moving his hands along yours, adjusting your arms. Javier teaching you anything was just an excuse for him to get close to you, because he could simply say he's just trying to help.

You were a bit wobbly but managed to strum out a simple melody he had taught you.

"Sorry I'm rusty," you said as you played.

Javier stopped rowing and shuffled to sit beside you.

"May I?" He asked, reaching his arms out slightly to assist you. This was the first time he had ever asked.

"You don't have to ask," you smiled. Javier smiled back and reached around you, placing his hands on top of yours, helping you play. You could feel his chest against your shoulder blade, his breath lightly on your ear, his rough palms cupping over the back of your hands.

You moved the guitar slightly so it sat more in the middle of you two, and took the opportunity to rest your head on his shoulder.

For the first-ever time, you felt him tense up at your touch.

His chest quickly softened out, and you felt his cheek rest on the top of your head.

The two of you synced up and played a simple melody. It felt magical. Unreal.

"I'm glad I finally know who the flower culprit is," you said as you continued your playing.

"Did you know it was me?" Javier asked.

"I didn't know it was you, but I always hoped it was."

Javier stopped playing, you did too.

"(Y/N)," he said as he took his guitar from you and rested it up against the side of the boat. He turned to face you.

"Did you break off with Marston for me?" Javier asked.

"Well, uhm," You paused.

"No, you don't have to answer that. I.. uh.. Well, I just want to know that one thing. It is behind me. I was an idiota for taking my anger out. I should have been happy for you, supported you. It was selfish to put my feelings first, above you, above John."

He paused.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted."

You took Javier's hand in yours and smiled at him.

"John is behind us now. I only hope to look forward to a future with you," you say to him.

You had never seen Javier blush until now.

"And I'm sorry for not realizing my feelings until later. I had always found comfort with you, but I never realized what I was feeling was love. I was so blind and so stupid," you continued.

"Mi querido, it's behind us now," Javier said as his spare hand came up to brush along your hairline and rest on your cheek.

"Be mine?"

You wasted no time in accepting his question by leaning forward to finally meet your lips with his. He kissed back, obviously. His hand running from your cheek, down your hair, to rest on your jawline. You felt like you could hear cheering in the distance. Maybe the gang was watching. Maybe it was inner you applauding you on.

You could feel Javier smile against your lips and he continued to kiss you. His hand lightly squeezed at yours, and you couldn't help but smile back against him.

The two of you slowly pulled away, resting foreheads against each other, eyes both shut.

"I love you, Javier," you said.

"I love you too, mi querido," he replied.

87 notes · View notes

solohux · 6 years ago

Note

Do you have a list of famous/must read fic, since I'm knew to the Fandom I'm just overwhelmed buy the amount of fics lmao. (I've already read Honeycomb, loved it)

Ahhwelcome to the fandom! Gladly! I’ll just clarify my list first, though. If youwant famous, then I suggest just starting at the top of the Most Hits filter of theAO3 tag.

Personally, what I consider famous and what Iconsider a must read are different so I hope that’s okay! This will be alist of my favourite must read fics though it’s by no means exclusiveand it’s just my own personal opinion. Enjoy! (•⊙ω⊙•)

(and apologies to mobile users! I know the Read More function doesn’t always work on mobile and this is a long post!!)

- allthat you love will be carried away by @ceruleancynicHux, sent to retrieve Kylo Ren from the dying Starkiller Base,has lost almost everything, and has little patience or tolerance left foranyone or anything–particularly not Snoke’s pet pseudo-Sith and his amateurtheatrics. But you do the job that is in front of you, to the best of yourability, and you hold on as long as you can.

- WakeUp, Sleeper by @penpenhoorayIt would seem odd that the Resistance should always seem to get theirinformation just a bit faster than the First Order. Of course, General LeiaOrgana knows the risks her mole is taking by sending her life savinginformation. Luke was confident in his padawan’s ability to infiltrate theFirst Order to destroy it from the inside, and he trusted his pupil’sinstincts. And Hux? Well, he’s spent over a decade as a sleeper agent withinthe bowels of the First Order when he feels an awakening in the Force, and he’sdecided it’s time to begin the destruction of the First Order. And he’s goingto bring Ben back to the Light if it’s the last thing he does.

- Reconditioningby @jinxedambitionsBen Solois one of the FBI’s most promising young agents. While he’s had a fewdisciplinary hiccups, he’s intelligent and not afraid to do what needs to bedone. His personal life is a mess, and he may not look like your typicalfederal agent, but he might be the only man for this job. Ben’s looking for apromotion and something like the glory his parents always talked about beforehe was born. The FBI is looking to take down one of the country’s most elusiveprostitution rings, specializing in the types of sex that Ben’s boss has onlyread about in the novel his wife hides under the bed. Ben is going undercoveras a “slave” in order to gather information on the ring’s leaders,purchasing a premium package from the agency. 30 days as a slave to aprofessional Master, and a guaranteed sexual experience of a lifetime. Hegets chosen by Hux, or the General as he insists Ben call him, and he quickly realizesthat no training could have prepared him for this experience. Every day, Ben,or Kylo as he is known at the club, finds out more and more about theorganization, but the more he learns the less he wants to destroy them.

- Tothe Pure by @kdazraelDear siror madam, I am General Hux of the Resurgent-class Star Destroyer Finalizer. Iwas recently strong-armed by a colleague into joining an order of mysticknight-warriors and now they want me take part in their team-building orgies.Please advise.

- Bodies,Can’t You See? by sual When Hux sees the positive result on the pregnancy test scanner, he comes toseveral alarming realizations all at once. One: that his birth control has beentampered with. Two: that the baby is Kylo’s. Three: that this is his truepunishment for Starkiller’s failure. And quietly, in a weak, tiny voice in theback of his mind, the unsettling conclusion that he wants to keep it. He’ll diebefore he lets anyone near his child. He’ll tear apart anyone that tries to getin his way. Even Kylo.

- FollowingOrders by @redcoleSnoke decides that Kylo needs to produce an heir so they can continue hisline and Hux finds himself lined up as the other father.

- Sevento One by @anorlostHux is trying to keep everything under control as he suddenly has seven Rens tocontend with. As he tries to keep them from destroying his ship, he failsto notice that the Knights of Ren have other plans. Plans thatinvolve…cuddling.

- Flickerin the Void by @mothdustmouthHux watched in silence as the light swept over his body. The power stunned him,as did the bright jet of flame as it licked its color into his eyes. This wasnot the calm brightness of last night in the presence of Kylo Ren. This was adifferent sort of light altogether, massive and deadly. It overwhelmed him. Fora moment Hux felt an aching regret deep within himself, the sob of someone heused to be, bubbling up from the cold.

- Progenyby @geishacombGeneralHux has not allowed the Supreme Leader back into his bed since the events ofTLJ. But when he does, the consequences are far graver than either he or Rencould have ever imagined.

- ASong of Crows by Ficlet-Machine (Wordsmith) (WIP)WarchiefHux has just buried his trusted Crow, and, if the Gods still favour him, a newone will find their way to his lands. Hux may be young, but he is a good leaderfor his people. He is ready for the commitment, the responsibility, the changesthat come with a new child of the Gods at his command. The clan needs it, needsit spiritual leader if they are ever to claim ownership of all the lands fromhere to the Core Kingdoms. Raised a warrior, he is more than ready to paint theworld red in honor of his gods. He may, however, not be entirely ready for whathe will feel the first time he meets the haunted and tormented eyes of theyoung Crow called Kylo Ren.

- TheEmperor’s New Consort by @redcoleThe First Order is in control of the Galaxy, in a last ditch effort to savethose who are left, they request negotiations. Only to find that for theResistance to survive they only need to give up one thing small thing - the angry Senator Ben Organa.

- herecomes the first day by @inguThe moment Hux threw himself in front of the blaster shot meant for Kylo Renwas the moment he realised that he had well and truly gone out of his mind.(Or, the one where Hux tries to save the life of Kylo Ren and accidentally saveshimself in the process.)

- volitionby @bygoneboy“Kylo Ren,” Hux says, feeling humiliated as the words leave his mouth, “is notinfatuated with me—” “My apprentice is easily led,” Snoke continues, as if Hux hasn’t spoken. “He isdriven by impulse, emotion. These fixations are distractions to his true path,and they are things I will break in him, when he is ready. In the meantime…” Hewaves a knotted, spider-veined hand toward Hux, as if in dismissal. “You willassist me, in sating his desires.”pre-tfa. hux is issued orders to seduce kylo ren. chaos ensues.

- WeHang Side By Side by @reserveBefore Kylo Ren can complete his training, he must retrieve a Sith artifactfrom the Bothan System. Hux goes along with.

- ExMachina by sualAn AUinspired by Ex Machina where Ben Solo never became Kylo Ren, General Hux is adroid that used to be human, and they might just be what the other needs.Warning for a whole lot of robophilia and cruel and unusual uses for droids.

- FriendsWith Renefits by @moonwalkingcrabThe Rules:1. Just sex, no feelings2. The arrangement lasts as long as is beneficial3. Either party can choose to end the arrangement, no questions asked4. No kissing

- Starfuckerby @agent-nemesisKylo Renfollows a suspicious noise and finds a secret room. When he makes it inside, hecan’t quite believe his eyes.

- AnAlpha’s Pride by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleofHux hasgotten Kylo pregnant, and is infatuated with his changing body. He is sodistracted by the way Kylo’s belly is rounding out beneath his robes and hispectorals are swelling in anticipation of nursing that it takes everything inhim to keep from fucking him right on the bridge.

- Babe,I’m Here Again by @sinceyouaskedmeforataleof (WIP)It’s 2008 and graduate student Armitage Hux has no idea why hes still hangingout with that nerd of a second year Ben Solo. Surely he had better things to dothat sit around planning Dungeons & Dragons adventures with this not-at-all-attractiveAlpha who he definitely doesn’t think about constantly. A tale of illness,heartbreak, unexpected gifts, new beginnings, and rediscovery. Featuring twoidiots who don’t realise how much they love each other until its almost toolate.

- Bittersweetand Strange by @obsessions-and-dreamsIn a castle surrounded by a forest, lived a prince who became a monster.In aquiet village on the other side of the woods lived an unhappy young man withbig dreams.A Kylux Beauty and the Beast AU.

- Sunstrokeby @ballvvasherSupreme Leader Snoke gives Kylo Ren a mission to strengthen the Knights’ of Renhold on the First Order. Set several years before the events of Episode VII.Story contains mpreg, medical torture, and sexual assault.

- TheGuilty Bystander by @cthene “You like this story, don’t you Ren? It’s awfully romantic. Let’s pretend it’strue. Let’s pretend we conspired together to overthrow him.” Hux gets inover his head.

- Psychomachiaby @longstoryshortikilledhimBy thetime the events of SW:TFA unfold, Armitage Hux and Kylo Ren are bitter exes.This is what happened before.

- TheFall by @rosensilenceWhen Resistance smuggler Kylo Ren is captured and brought aboard the Finalizer,General Hux gets more than he was expecting. It isn’t long before thingsare spiraling out of Hux’s usually tight control.

- Unexpectedby @gonna-pop (WIP)After twenty years together, Ben and Armitage have gotten comfortable. Thereare no surprises left in their marriage, and nothing new to learn about eachother. That is, until Armitage unexpectedly goes into heat while they’revacationing on a resort world — and a few days of renewed passion changes thecourse of their lives.

- Convivial Society by @vadiannaLeia doesn’t know what to think when she sees the report about two First Order prisoners taken by surprise. They are suspected First Order officers, but the field can’t verify this.She understands better when General Hux is brought before her, obviously caught in the middle of some rather intense sexual intercourse. She has to ask.

- KnockedUp by @agent-nemesis“Areyou ready?” Kylo asks Hux stupidly, realising the question is moredirected at himself.Hux answers with a cry, and then his panic rises again.Kylo hunches over him, cocooning him protectively. “You can do this,” he whispers. “I know you can do this.”“I can’t,” Hux whimpers, shaking his head. “They’re too big. Ican’t.”“You’re a general of the First Order,” Kylo says softly in his ear. “TheGeneral. The strongest man I know. You can do this.”

- GameOver by limit_breakerLate one night in the officer’s lounge, Kylo Ren challenges General Hux to agame of billiards. That might have been a mistake.

- Pillarsof Salt by @francisthegreatIn whicha young priest learns the meaning of temptation.

- AcademyStyle by @eralkfang“It’s nota question of desire, it’s a question of logistics.”

- SoSoft (And So Terrible) by @theearlgreyalphaGeneral Hux realizes that maybe he’s capable of being a little compassionateafter all, when Kylo Ren winds up in his doorway in the middle of the night.

- Don’tBe Shy (You’ve Been Here Before) by @cut-off-the-grainThe call of the Light, the call of the Dark, have never been so tempting asHux’s hands in his hair as Hux wrangles him this way and that with only thegentlest of touches against his scalp. Hux moves him, moulds him, guides him,in the same exacting manner he does battle plans and blueprints, but with alanguidness which has no place in warfare. Instead of harsh words and reprimandsfor failure there is only Hux whispering “shh, darling, calm down, norush" until Ren is trembling and desperate, his hands and his mind full ofHux, Hux, Hux.

- bodiesagainst by @brawliteGeneral Hux buys himself a present. He ends up sharing said present with theKnights of Ren, who shamelessly barge in on his personal leave time.

- Pasiphaeby @vadiannaWhile depressed one night, Kylo Ren decides to jerk out his sorrows to hisfavorite holoporn vids, starring Major Fuxx and his parade of alien partners. Major Fuxx bears a striking resemblance to General Hux, which is part ofthe appeal, but he suddenly realizes that they may have more in common thantheir looks…

- ForgetHow to Feel by @onewhositswiththeturtlesHux grewup being told that feeling emotions was weak and shameful. If he ever wanted tobe successful he would need to dispel them or use Sinaffec, a drug that mutesemotions. Now Hux has been appointed General of the First Order and relocatedto Starkiller Base. It has been years since he needed Sinaffec to control hisemotions but that changes when Snoke’s apprentice, Kylo Ren, arrives.Ren seemscapable of invoking every emotion in Hux - first irritation but then other,deeper emotions Hux refuses to acknowledge. But when Ren starts talking aboutsoul mates and force bonds, Hux can only deny his feelings for so long untilhis must make a choice: take Sinaffec indefinitely or surrender to his emotionsand see where they lead him.

- MeetMe Halfway by @callmelyss“I don’tdo that,” Hux responds in an undertone before he realizes. He flushes—hard—andscowls. “If that will be all, Supreme Leader…” He turns on his heel withoutwaiting to be dismissed and starts to stalk back the way he came, grateful, asever, for the wide sweep of his greatcoat, the padded shoulders making him feelless—small.He’s halfway out of the room (and what a waste of space) when what he said mustcatch up with Ren: “You mean you…never?”He freezes, every muscle in his body tensing. Won’t say it out loud. No, heemphasizes, clear as he can. Knowing Ren will hear, knowing he will see itregardless, terrible nosy busybody that he is. I haven’t.

- Bombshellby @cosleia Departmentstore employee Ben Organa learns something new about the gorgeous redhead whoalways requests his help selecting lingerie.

- Touchby @kyluxtrashpit When Huxfinds himself falling into bed with Kylo Ren, he wants nothing more than tocompletely take Ren apart. He finds a way to do just that.

- Carpetburns by @ellstra Hux’sfascination with Imperial officers is not only professional. Kylo decides Huxdeserves to relieve the pressure of command for once, and buys an Imperialuniform from Space ebay™.

- In myveins by @ellstra Hux hadbeen hiding his Force-sensitivity for years, using it sparsely and with greatcaution, but it only takes one mission gone wrong and all his carefully builtdefences shatter to protect Kylo. Snoke is always eager to use up all power hecan get.

- Understandingby @onewhositswiththeturtles Throughthe Force Rey accidentally witnesses an intimate moment between her twogreatest enemies, Kylo Ren and General Hux. Despite her hatred towards the twomen for what they’ve done to the Resistance, Rey is forced to learn andunderstand that everyone is fighting for something.

- LifeThrough Glass by @moonwalkingcrab Hux’s life is fairly simple, he has his work, he has his cat, and he has hisflat. Now it seems he has a new neighbour. With windows so close together it’seasy to fall into the world of Kylo Ren.

-and lead us not into temptation by @liesmythHux looks him up and down, this Resistance golden boy, gangly and ungraceful and so appallingly soft. Takes a drag of his cigarette. “You’re weak,” he says.Solo looks up at him. “Please.” He draws in a long, broken breath. “Please.” Or: General Hux thinks about Ben Solo a lot more than he probably should.

- The Interrogation Game by @jinxedambitions Kylo Ren finds himself strapped to his own interrogation table, getting a lesson from General Hux. Pain isn’t the only interrogation technique, perhaps not even the most effective. Strapped down with nowhere to go, Kylo is at Hux’s mercy. If he just tells Hux what he wants to hear, he might find relief from this overwhelming pleasure…but it isn’t that simple.

- Forceless by @sinningsquire Ren has lost the one thing that defined him from before he was even born. Somehow this results in a mad dash through the Galaxy, with more bloodshed that two men should be able to bring on, and with one happy ending under a starry canopy of a summer night.

- Like a Vicious Dove by @thevulcanpresidentIt has been a year since Hux destroyed Snoke and took the galaxy for his own, a year since Kylo Ren pledged his service to the new emperor. When Hux gets kidnapped, he trusts his knight to rescue him.

- Rule by @thez1337After the events on the rebel base, and the escape of some of the highest commanding rebel leaders, Kylo Ren takes Snokes place as head of the First Order. General Hux seeths, and his own secret ambition at ruling the Galaxy isn’t quite so secret.

- All’s Fair… by @nonsensicalsoliloquy "You missed me.“ Hux frowned, “I did not miss you, Ren. I didn’t miss your arrogance, petulance, or destruction of my ship anymore than you missed me and my refusal to cow to your whims.“ Ren only leaned in closer, his frustratingly large body nearly flush with Hux’s slender one. "What makes you think I didn’t miss you?”OR: The tension’s been building and building seemingly every day since the moment they met, and it appeared as if Ren had decided it was time it ended.

- Take Me or Leave Me by kyluxicle (LadyCamillus), oorsprong When Kylo Ren returns from training with Leader Snoke, he comes back more collected and focused. While Hux appreciates this newfound control, he misses the passion that Ren used to have—especially towards him. In attempt to get Ren back into his bed, Hux sets his sights on a lesser officer in order to bring out Ren’s jealousy. Either Ren will snap out of this cold persona and take him back, or Hux will have to settle for less.

- Politics by @sithofrenHux has an unusual request for his birthday. He wants to ‘capture’ Senator Organa-Solo. Kylo Ren agrees.

- Game Over by @onewhositswiththeturtlesHux has a combat simulation program developed for all First Order personnel and has a sim of himself as the final boss. He congratulates himself when the program becomes a massive success, unaware of the fact that hackers have changed the coding to dress his sim in increasingly scandalous outfits. When Hux finds out that Ren is spending a large amount of time in the sim he gets suspicious and pulls up the video logs of Ren’s sessions, only to realize that Ren is seeking much more than combat training from Hux’s sim. After some thought and planning, Hux decides to give Ren the real thing.

- The Lingerie Incident by @thesunandoceanblue Hux doesn’t want to be thinking of Leia while he’s tugging down his pants. Instead he thinks of Kylo, and how he’d react to this. He’d be terribly jealous. His secret revealed. To his mother of all people. Hux grimaces in amusement as he shimmies his pants down with one hand, the other holding his coat.

- Fractured by @kyluxtrashpitWhen Kylo returns from a meeting with his master broken and wrong, it becomes clear that Snoke has gone too far. Hux is left to not only pick up the pieces, but to put them back together again while considering the past and the future.

- Generosity by orphan_account Dressed down to his undershirt – which had become far too crinkled for his taste – Hux sported his uniform pants, minus the boots, however, left in his warm, black bed socks (He doesn’t like cold, okay?). And he also had his tongue buried in Kylo Ren’s ass.

- Sweet Redolence by @jakathineWhat happens when the desire to best your opponent turns into a desire to bed them instead…and then fate pushes you together rather Forcefully.

- A Vulpine by any other Name by levitheking & @omega-hux Hux wasn’t fully Human, his Vulpine Heritage plain as day with his ears and tail. His new co-commander turns out to be a Vulpine as well. Tensions are high and compromises must be made. Until Hux comes up with his most devious plan yet.

- My Own Breath by @saltandlimesHux has only ever caught glimpses of Kylo Ren’s face, short moments when the knight’s helmet is off. After an incident in the hangar, he realizes he needs to see more.

- Matches to Paper Dolls by @ctheneOn a mission from Supreme Leader Snoke to recover a lost Jedi artifact from the Smuggler’s Moon of Nar Shaddaa, Kylo Ren and General Hux are accidentally drugged. In addition to spice, it seems, the Hutt crime lord Grakkus was also a purveyor of powerful black market aphrodisiacs. With no choice but to copulate immediately, Hux must talk a terrified virgin Ren through the whole unpleasant, humiliating process. Upon returning to the Finalizer, Hux is ready to pretend nothing happened. Ren, however, deeply affected by Hux’s kindness to him throughout the ordeal, can’t put the experience behind him so easily.

- Who’s Your Master? by @groffictionHux murmured softly, “You don’t need punishment tonight, Ren. You need rest.”“But, I want… I want this… need this,” Kylo protested weakly, reaching around to nuzzle at Hux’s boots.

- tender is the night lying by your side by @thethespacecoyote Emperor Hux misses his mate dearly, even when he’s away clinching their reign. Thankfully, an alpha as powerful as Kylo Ren can overcome even the furthest reaches of the galaxy to tend to his omega’s desires.

- Forced Perspective by @gamebird Kylo Ren and Hux are stranded on a jungle world after negotiations go bad. Kylo is badly wounded, his life resting in Hux’s treacherous hands. His take on the reasons for his survival are very different from Hux’s.

- Chosen Ones by @babbushkaIn the middle of the night memories come rushing back, thankfully Hux and Kylo have each other to hold when they do.

- Zip it by @centurytwitch Hux feels that his contributions to the First Order are worthy of an award. He’s not expecting a new rank, though that would be nice. What he really wants is a new uniform to acknowledge the mental wear and tear he endures, the duty he fulfills every cycle.Kylo thinks otherwise.

- Putting you Back Together but Betterby @techiehuxThere is value to Hux yet, besides being a minor nuisance and occasional source of entertainment. With a few… improvements, he could be ferocious on the battlefield, commanding respect and demanding it in turn.

- No Rest for the Wicked by @embershxKylo sees Hux sleeping in their bed and can’t help himself.

- The Escape of the Fox by @theweddingofthefoxes After the First Order is defeated and Rey becomes Leia’s heir, Kylo Ren and General Hux are both fugitives, and they haven’t seen one another in years. Ren settles into a hermetic existence selling kyber, but when he learns Hux is still alive, he goes to find him under the pretense of staging a coup. But there’s another reason he wants to see Hux again….

I’m going to leave it there! I’ve been at this list on-and-off for about 2 hours, looking through my bookmarks and favourites, and there are still a tonne more but this felt enough to satiate you, anon! Remember, this list is just my personal recommendation of what I believe are must-read fics for a newcomer! They’re fun, they’re all written brilliantly and all amazingly represent the two space nerds that we love!

I’ll make a part 2 if anyone is interested but for now, happy reading!!! ❤️

#kylux #fic rec #remember to read the tags beforehand!#there's a hell of a variety in here

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matamisin · 6 years ago

Note

Consider: Mina is a genuinely happy and positive person, but everyone has bad days (especially people who have been thru trauma, like seeing your loved ones regularly beaten to a bloody pulp). The thing is that Mina just. Refuses to show that trauma has actually been effecting her. She starts suppressing negative reactions to situations bc she wants to "stay strong." Beginning of the year? She cried when they got rescued from USJ. End of the year? "Lmao guess we survived another one! Ha! Ha! :)"

oh my god like millennial humor?? if yeah then lmao mina please

if not ahhh Mina baby you have feelings too that you gotta tend to!\

Alright- All (or at least all the angst headcanons I received) are answered below the cut! Please be careful, there are some, well angsty things in there!

TW: Eating Disorder, Gore/ Graphic Depictions, Homophobia, Depression, Suicidal Tendencies/ Self harm mention, Death, Possible spoilers to those not caught up with the BNHA manga- Please ask to tag if I missed any!

(looking at all these warnings made me realize omfg YALL DID NOT HOLD BACK IM CRYING ASK AND THOU SHALT RECEIVETH I SUPPOSE)

a-single-eyelash asked:

Denki accidentally hurt someone as a kid, say a sibling or good friend, with his quirk. It made him hate his work, until he saw a hero with a similar work to his. This is what made him think that not only is his quirk cool, but also that he can become a hero. Well until, he hurt Sero. His boyfriend, got electrocuted by him on the battlefield. (Sorry this is an idea I’ve had for a fic)

O H

BRUH THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRAIN COMING OUT FROM BEHIND THE BUSHES I THOUHGT THERE WAS GONNA BE A HAPPY ENDING THIS IS STILL GOOD THO

anonymous asked:

Bakugou is still sad, Sero is suicidal (Read to may fics about it man), Kami is legitimately afraid he’ll disappoint his parents, Tsu feels to normal, Kiri feeeeeelsss way to useless, and idk maybe Aoyama feels ignored. My own angsty headcanons.

Ah, yeah I can see how those can play into those characters!

anonymous asked:

Sero’s fight or flight response with a villains ice-like quirk (if your for that headcanon) OR Sero overwhelming his quirk trying to rescue a goddamn building of people

OH YA I AM FOR THAT

Also NO STOP HAVE I GOT SOMETHING IN STORE ABOUT COLLAPSING BUILIDINGS

anonymous asked:

Ashido + Bakugou bond over their quirks being destructive and not really knowing how to use them to actually *help* people

oh wow, I’ve never actually seen it that way.

But how about this: while they vent to each other about how their quirks can’t help people, the other is like, full on giving them descriptions of how their quirks actually CAN but they just never realized and they’re opening each other’s eyes while having their own insecurities knocked down

anonymous asked:

Omg your angst au is so angsty it’s beautiful

AH thank you haha!

anonymous asked:

Angsty headcannon boi- Sero was bullied in middle school for having wonky teeth and actually had braces. Which is why he has such a pearly white smile now. Sero was the last in his class to get his quirk and when he did he was laughed at because it was a ‘useless quirk’

n O ANON IM SOB

IM CRYING LEAVE HIM ALONE ILL SQUARE UP WITH THOSE BULLIES

anonymous asked:

Angst head cannon. Sero flinches whenever kirishima hardens. Sero’s parents are majorly homophobic and are actually quite strict. So whenever sero isn’t with bakusquad he tries to revise but it doesn’t work and he’s scared to ask for help.

Aw, man that’s heart wrenching to have parents so unsupportive- I feel it :( He’s just in a constant worry state whenever they’re around

anonymous asked:

If you’re still accepting the angst hcs… i think kaminari gets like really overcharged whenever there’s a storm and since they moved to the dorms there’s nowhere for him to release all the excess energy. So he just kinda hides away in his room in pain.

Aw, that’s terrible!

I dunno.. I feel like that one day when someone finds out during a storm, they’ll like, ask the teachers about “where someone could discharge a lot of energy askingforafriend” and they immediately know who they’re talking about and they’ll ask Powerloader and Mei and others in their department to build something for him to discharge all the excess AND be able to utilize it somehow :0 just a thought!

anonymous asked:

My headcannons: Sero is anorexic Bakugou has PTSD Kaminari has depression Kirishima had self-esteem issues Ashido is perfect (canon)

Oh that last part- she is, she is *clap**clap*

Though.. I will say that just because the others are haunted by those- it doesn’t make them less perfect. It’s their struggles that they learn to cope with and grow from, and it makes them, well, them. Not a definition of perfect can define that :’)

(sorry just speaking from my thoughts cause these hit close to home ahhh)

anonymous asked:

Lmao i sent a lot sorry if their not the best but hopefully some heart strings will be pulled

NONSENSE ANON ALL MY HEART STRINGS WERE PLUCKED BY ALL THESE AND NOW ITS YALLS TURN

transcandydemon asked:

Todocanon; todoroki has constant nightmares of the boiling water incident and of his father hurting him or his mom which causes him to not get as much sleep ie his calm attitude and how he’s not quick to get into conversations because of exhaustion

oh ya, such a traumatic past is def something that could still be haunting him in his dreams :’( but when the others notice, they’ll make sure to check up on him and try to find ways to help reduce nightmares or at least comfort him whenever they’re in his dreams

anonymous asked:

Deku head canon : deku is super jealous of kirishimas and bakugoa relationship since hes been trying to get close to kacchan for years and kirishima managed to do it within days

D’: He probably would feel that- jealousy’s very strong! But ah, in my personal opinion, i think he’d feel that, but after time learns that maybe it was best that he stopped dwelling on it and moves on, and learns to accept and be happy that he and Bakugou could at least be acquaintances that could eventually work well :’)

anonymous asked:

Denki headcanon: where he wants to be as close to bakugo as kirishima is and he tries so damn hard but takes bakugos insults to heart and he really does get torn up and upset about it(ex: the sports festival scene )

Oh wait which scene? Dunce face or?? :0 but yeah, I feel like he’d take it to heart at times. (but my bakukami heart tells me to say that when Baku realizes he gives him a good ass pep talk and beings hold back on his insults, or reassures Denki)

anonymous asked:

Bakugou could have PTSD and nightmares

Oh same headcanon! :’D Ah, but poor Bakugou. I’m sure the others would take it into mind and be aware of it and help him subtly so as to not provoke him, :’(

violetsare-tblue asked:

Bakugo: because of his inferiority complex, feels like he needs to prove himself over and over or he’ll be just the victim again Iida: his left arm is completely numb. He isn’t paralyzed and he can move it. He just can’t feel anything in his hand or arm. Makes holding hands with someone feel empty and useless Sero: he is so scared of being worthless as a hero and a person. He doesn’t want to be left behind by his classmates so he overworks himself and comes to school with random bruises

Oh mmhmm, I definitely see the Bakugou one! Especially after what he said during his fight with Deku, it def shows :(

Aw, Iida probably still looks back at his actions back in the Stain arc and regrets the errors of his ways. Luckily, I’m sure he’ll find someone who helps him through it and reminds him that mistakes don’t define him :’)

:’( Serooo MAKING ME CRY

casua-aria asked:

I have this Sero headcanon where he was the disposable (like how when tape dispensers run out and become disposable) friend in groups throughout his childhood, but now that he goes to UA, he has true caring friends that would never do that to him.

D: !!

That’s so sad- he must have thought his quirk was just life taunting him for being “disposable” hence the tape quirk :( but heck yeah, once he meets the students of UA he definitely begins to see that he wasn’t the problem in the past, but rather those that he was “friends” with!

anonymous asked:

Sero remembering very clearly all the pain that happened when his arm got cut off, maybe being a little scared of Kirishima for a few days after he first wakes up? Idk

OH YEAH THAT ONE HURTS

Like maybe.. once he’s able to respond again, he flinches and has an anxiety attack when he sees Kirishima because the sight of him just sends a flood of the memory to play in his head OOF

anonymous asked:

A personal favorite that nobody’s really thought of: a villain cuts off one finger from each of Ochako’s hands so she can’t use her quirk

OH MAN THATS BRUTAL OMG

That’s so dark!! I feel like a villain would do that should they get a hold of her and, mm maybe wanna rile up someone close to her to lure them in

meptoonzart asked:

Kirishima traitor

b R U H ID CRY MY EYES OUT IF HORI MADE HIM THE TRAITOR

Anonymous said:

I have a lot of angsty headcanons about Kaminari specifically so I’ll just spam you with those. He attracts electricity, so he often gets struck by lightning and has almost died from it twice. Kaminari knows people think he’s the traitor and it eats him up inside every day. He’s been ‘propositioned’ by quite a few creeps because he’s pretty and his quirk is, well, what it is. He has nightmares a lot and it causes power outages, he’s terrified his classmates will hate him for it.(1/?(Idk2maybe)

Sero got into a fight with someone after the sports festival, because how the hell did he make it into UA’S hero course, and Kaminari happens to be with him and he actively threatens the dude who started the fight with his quirk. No one bullies his friends. His overuse of his quirk is slowly killing him, he hasn’t told anyone that it’s destroying his brain. Bakugo reminds him of living in an abusive household but he doesn’t know how to say it so he laughs it off.(2/?(Okaymaybe4wearegettingthere)

Kirishima and Sero are the first to find out about both the frying brain and the abusive household, and Sero asks Kaminari if he wants to go try something. Kaminari says sure and Sero reserves a training ground for them, and Sero swings around with Kaminari and he hopes it works for Kami the same way it does for him. Sero is smiling because he doesn’t know what else to do, but swinging through the air helps him feel better and free. It helps. But there’s always, always the anxiety (¾)

the anxiety of ‘Maybe today is the day I fall’, but he doesn’t realize that Kaminari is helping him stay grounded. He won’t fall. Not when he gets to see Kaminari fuller of life than he’s ever been. They land on one of the buildings in ground Beta, and laugh like idiots as it starts to rain. Kaminari’s dying, Sero is a mess, and they just sit there for hours, past the end of their reservation, talking through their anxieties. Kaminari is scared to die. Sero is scared to lose him. (Okay1more4/5)

Sero promises Kaminari he’ll be there, he’ll do everything he can to help keep him alive as long as possible, and he asks Kaminari how long he has from his last estimate. Kaminari laughs, starting to cry. Six years. Sero tells the Bakusquad, and they promise him that they’ll be there when the time comes. Not villains or Dadzawa could stop them, and finally it does. For only being a hero for three years, he’s made history for kids who have terminal illnesses (ranoutofspacedammit)

And the drawbacks of quirks come more into light. Kaminari may not be a great student or hero, but he brought hope to a lot of people, and everyone will miss him. They can’t hear thunder crack without thinking of him, can’t see the golden sunrise without thinking of his smile. Can’t even bear to look at the classic lit section in a bookstore. He saved people and raised awareness, but he wrecked their hearts as well. (Somehow this turned into a near-fic I’m so sorry Hope you’re doing well(Done))

ANON OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS BASICALLY FIC IM CRYING THERES SO MUCH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START CRYING

iamnootthedabmast-r said:

Heard you want some angsty headcannons- so Kaminari tends to stay up due to his quirk and he likes to stay in the dormitory lobby, so he just sits on the couch on his phone or just sits there in the dark- but this leads to him finding some secretive angsty stuff about other people in the dormitory for ex; Bakugou comes downstairs and just starts cooking cause he has terrible night terrors and Kaminari just quietly witnesses as Bakugou cries silently while he eats. (Part 1)

(Part 2) the next morning Kaminari kind of wants to try ask or comfort him but feels rude and awkward so he also kind of struggles with the knowledge of knowing that everyone in his class is a little to a lot of broken. So yeah, sorry if it’s a little confusing- in awkward when it comes to writing what I want to write…

DUUDE THIS IS SUCH A SAD CONCEPT IF YOU WRITE IT I WILL LEGITERALLY PERISH ON SPOT

Anonymous said:

May we… suggest directly… angsty oneshots? Please feel free to ignore this if you preferred hcs

(lmao sorry, im not caught up with the manga or anime to know what the first part is referrring to :’D) but ah yeah I’ve seen that headcanon, not too sure how to feel, but it’s out there!

#tw eating disorder #tw gore #tw graphic depictions #tw homophobia #tw depression #tw suicidal tendencies #tw self harm #tw death mention #bnha spoilers #long post #ask to tag #ahh i wont tag much else of bn/ha so it doesnt gloom up the tags!#all i want for christmas is queue

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leah-ocarina · 6 years ago

Text

I see a lot of well-intending people saying aces are perfect angels according to society who never run into problems or get judged, because while we don’t get as much shit as some people, coming from the PoV of a panromantic and disabled woman who knows oppression when she sees it, let’s all just set aside the argument of whether or not Aces are LGBT, okay? Just put it out of your mind! This post is not about that, okay? I just want people to know a bit more about what it’s like, because I see them meaning absolutely no harm, but being a bit misinformed. I’ve taken points from another person who was calm and level headed (and can’t track down the post because I am inept at this website hnnnn), and thought I’d go through them.

Again, put the argument of ‘are aces LGBT’ out of your mind. This is about misinformation and not that— and this is definitely in NO WAY me saying asexuals have it worse or as even bad as/as other LGBT people, because we definitely do NOT. (That doesn’t mean we get nothing though!)

Okay. Now that that’s out of the way, the first few points will be from my personal experiences, and if it’s something I heard from someone else I have it clearly marked, and the numbered points are actual copy-pasted quotes from the person’s post:

1) An asexual person is not going to get dehumanized and beat up for not having sex

•Physical violence—Actually yes. We do get beaten up. We also are victims of corrective rape. •Dehumanizing—Dehumanizing is 90% of what people who know I’m asexual do. Things I have heard to me personally from multiple people (and from what I’ve seen, other aces hear the same things): • Inhuman monsters. •Nobody will EVER love you because of this. You’re unlovable in every way if you stay asexual (as though I can just change it 🙄) •It doesn’t matter whether or not YOU want to have sex if your partner does. Suck it up •You need to go to the doctor and get fixed •You need to go to therapy and get fixed •You’re broken and if you don’t go to the doctor, I don’t even know what to do with you

•If you say you’re a sex repulsed asexual/decide to never have sex (🙄) nobody will want to date/be with you. You’ll be alone forever and you’ll deserve it.

People verbally bullying us all the time with the intention of dehumanizing us is literally the main problem I’ve experienced. •A common one we get is that we’re really closeted gay people and we’re lying to ourselves that we have no sex drive (file under, large groups of people push that asexuality is a myth) •You’re confused and need to suck it up and have sex once so you’ll be cured (side note—also usually the rhetoric attackers use/directly say when corrective rape occurs) •You’re just a moron with a medical condition (I am disabled but none of it effects my sex drive) •If you don’t like sex you don’t even deserve to live because what else are you here for And again those bullet points are just what I’ve heard from multiple people of different backgrounds, and I’ve only identified as ace for two years

2) and if they do, it is less normalized than gay and lesbians getting beat.

•It’s almost like you don’t hear about it often because people tell us to shut up and stop being attention whores so we don’t talk about it as much, and when we do it doesn’t spread as far because less people with relevant blogs (exclusionists) reblog/share it 🤔🤔🤔 •Just because you haven’t heard about it often does not mean that it doesn’t happen often. This is not a popularity contest.

I know one may not think about what that quote actually means, but it invalidates violence/bullying against us NOT by saying it doesn’t happen, just that it’s less important than the other groups. I know you guys mean well, but you can’t really deny it 😕 If it counts for them and not for us that means when it happens to us it’s less important to you—if you disagree please do explain how saying it counts for one group and not the other does not make it less important! Seriously! I want to understand! I just can’t see how “it counts and is impactful to my opinion of them, but not for you” can be taken a different way.

^^^ Also to be clear I mean the exact way it has been phrased here and not the general rhetoric. The normal rhetoric is that it doesn’t happen as often (which it doesn’t) so it doesn’t count. (Debatable, but not what this post is for. Take that argument to the reblogs of another post or one of its own.) The rhetoric in this quote is that even if it happens (which also implies this person didn’t even check 😒) it’s less normalized (which I assume means they hadn’t heard about it) and since they didn’t personally see it that’s why it doesn’t count.

3) If you don't have sexual attraction, cool, but the differences still exists. There are cultures and religions who praise those who stay with abstinence.

•What they actually praise is waiting for marriage. I never experienced this because I don’t go to church regularly (they’re all hellfire and brimstone where I live so I don’t bother 😑), but since looking at asexual tags and such, I’ve seen a bunch of stories from different, otherwise unrelated people that if they tell their priest, etc. they’re ace, they get lectured about how no. They HAVE to have sex after they’re married because that’s the way God intended it to be. You’re required to, and not doing so goes against God. They genuinely throw fits about it and try to get you to change your mind. I was floored when I found out and even more floored when I saw how many people have experienced this (a few said they were saying they were ace in response for calls for abstinence and got an earful), but it seems like they want you to either never have sex because you devoted yourself to God (nun, etc.) or because you waited. After your married though, you’re expected to and judged for not having sex.

4) heterosexuals who call people faggots will call asexuals.. virgins.

•You must have a pretty tolerant group of people you interact with, because that is definitely not what we normally get called lmao. Normally we get called broken, freaks, mentally ill/crazy/someone who needs to take their pills (I’m serious), inhuman, monsters, unlovable, and honestly they just use asexual as the insult too. Like “You don’t know anything you asexual freak!” They’ll point, laugh, look around, tell their friends, then they join in and repeat. They also call us “losers who can’t get laid” [and are making an excuse]. I have never once been referred to as just a virgin in response to my asexuality, and I’ve never seen it anywhere online either. I’m tryna stay as neutral as possible, but this one is just straight up incorrect/really rare.

5) A bonus-- not something I heard from the same person, but still really important----Sexuality is about who you love, not how often you fuck.

This one I got from someone more hostile, and I’ll it admit I was a little baffled by this. This is not the case for all asexuals because it is a spectrum, but I personally am sex repulsed and could never be in a long term relationship with someone who is going to expect sex out of me. Asexuals like me (of which there are many) are extremely limited in who we can be in a relationship with because we need to find other asexuals (which btw causes a lot of mental distress because it makes us feel extremely broken and unlovable). This very clearly determines who we love and saying otherwise is...well if after you read this you still think that way it’s just willful ignorance if I’m honest. :\ Again this was not from someone level headed, but I thought I’d include it to explain it to other people who think the same thing!

So thank you for coming to my Ted Talk lol. I’m not trying to fire up exclusionist battles or arguments about whether or not asexuals are LGBT, I’m just trying to clear up some of the most common myths about asexuality I see.

#Ace discourse #Asexual #asexuality #tw rape #rape mention #rape #tw bullying #bullying

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pomhearts · 6 years ago

Text

Question Tag

So I was tagged by both @felegs and @stayuwu to do the 11 Question tag and a different one but ill probably make that its own post as well so minimize the size on these but yeah im gonna go ahead and just answer their question together and then,,, i dont know if ill be tagging people ill decide at the end lmao

but yeah ill put it under a read more because i dont want yall to deal with my long ramblings. if you just want my questions and want to ignore all my answer than just scroll to the very bottom!

Stayuwu’s Questions:

Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

I am~ I typically day dream about fic ideas like how I would imagine them to pan out or if I’m in class then I’ll typically day dream about this is nerdy as hell let me be how like the psych topics were learning about could be panned out in a story like we learned about this specific condition in my cog class and i just immediately wrote the concept into a fic story lmao

What��s your favorite place in the world?

mmm depends. at home its the beach but specifically this beach by my house because its a very calm beach that also has a super cute little center with small local shops and stuff and minimal seagulls hate those fuckers but here at school its my departments building because every floor has a big staircase thats dark and quiet and has huge windows facing the forest and the other side has a balcony facing the campus and you can see the ocean if youre high enough and its just hgvfsd i love

What’s home to you?

not be like,,, cliche i guess but like,,, i dont? think i have one? i dont like feeling tied down so i dont typically think of anywhere as “home”

This is not a question but quote a vine.

shawty i dont... mind

Grey’s anatomy or House?

House hands down i watched grey’s for a while growing up and its just,,, too much lmao house is so dark and unapologetic and i love it

Do you have any pets?

i have one (1) dumb dog that i love so much and can never stop talking about to showing off photos about

What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the distant mom friend

Do you hate someone? If so, why?

nah i dont have the energy to give someone that type of passion. im more of the if you fuck me over ill completely cut you out of my life within a blink of an eye type of cap not the ill hold a grudge against you type of cap

What’s your dream job?

working in a hospital with kids with mental disorders and terminal illnesses

What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

i,,,, dont know??? i know mayhaps 3 characters from MCU and thats only through like 1 or 2 movies lmao

I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

last night i went to sleep at like 1 am which is the earliest ive slept in so damn long and yet my body still decided it needed 12 hours of sleep. 12 hours? in this economy? please we dont have time for that i have articles to read

My Moon’s Questions:

what’s one thing that helps you relax?

being cold and listening to music helps me a lot so if im like freaking out or super upset ill usually go outside and either sit on the stair case or go walk around especially at night

what’s your favorite novel and author?

mmm its not a novel but my favorite short story that I’ve ever read is What We Talk About When We Talk About Love (but the original version) by Raymond Carver

are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

kinda? I’m not a big fan of pda so the most I’ll do is like give hugs or if its something real special like my sun or my ex roommate then I’ll give them kisses on the cheek or forehead but aside from that I’m more of a silent affectionate person who will just like,,, pat your arm or bring you some water when I know you need it

are you an early bird or a night owl?

oh definitely a night owl whether I want to be or not lmao

if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

mmm I have a lullaby that when my best friend moved back to their home state, they had me listen to it because they knew I was going through a really hard time and wasn’t not like,, in the safest of spots and I remember crying for like a solid 30 minutes and like even now to this day if I’m in a really bad spot I’ll listen to that song and just think about my best friend and like it just gives a small hope that things will be okay again

if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

Florence, Italy the only place I’ve actually felt safe ironically considering its hours away from anything I could ever consider home

what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

i have a shirt from this show that i love so much to the point my aunt stole it and hid it somewhere so now i have no idea where it is and will likely never get it back :’)

who’s your bias and why?

hgfds i have too many biases this is hard but uh honestly most of my biases are such for the same reason that being that they’re very strong capable people who have been through hell and back adn yet still always find a reason to bounce back and give life their all (ex: Yongguk, Young K, Taeyong, Bang Chan, Hanbin, Amber)

do you believe in luck and miracles?

finding you was a miracle but aside from that not really? i like the concept of them but i dont actually believe in them. i believe things happen for a reason yknow

what’s your favorite type of decorations?

christmas lightssss i own so many omg i think i have like,,, 8 strands with me currently?? with only 2 not being put up on some wall??

do you prefer being outside or inside?

definitely outside which is funny because I’m inside so much but I love going out adventuring and just being a menace to society tbh

My Questions:

What’s the “weirdest” song that stands out from your library?

Do you have a piece of clothing or jewelry that you hold dearly?

Have you ever gotten something autographed? How’d you get it?

What concert/festival did you really want to go to this year but had to miss?

What’s the hardest thing for you to do alone?

Would you rather stay in your hometown for the rest of your life but have everyone you love and appreciate live near you or move to your dream location and have a stable life but leave everyone you know behind?

Favorite thing to do during this lovely month of Halloween?

Are you a trick or treating kind of person or someone who would rather hand out the candy?

Do you have any crazy Halloween stories? Break into anything? Throw an insane party? Spill.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done that when you look back you;re just like “wow who possessed me and made me do that?”

If you could spend a date night on Halloween and just eat candy and watch horror movies, which idol would you want to do it with?

Can you tell I’m excited for Halloween? it was hard to not make all 11 of these spooky themed lmao but anyways let’s get to tagging

@newkids-thefinal @gayforjiwon @tangerine-jinani @taecheeks @devilji @kxmwoojxn @junheeart @kuromatoki @minhosgf @shen-anakins @minbebee @mias97

#kjhbiunoji this took so damn long #i almost just closed the tab and said fuck this tag #who wouldve thought 22 questiosn would take almsot a full hour #im bad at putting my thoughts into words lmao #this post was also so fucking long i had to go back an edit a lot of it #oops #tagged

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