#this is working better than expected
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I think I'm having some kind of anxiety attack?
#it feels like my entire life is actively collapsing in on itself despite how literally nothing is happening#i just wanted to sleep and now im plagued with potential future scenarios#worlds where all of my insecurities are realities#im hoping typing this out will help get together my senses so i can actually sleep tonight#which ive been trying to do on and off for 6 hours now#okay im starting to calm down a bit#this is working better than expected#my head is running empty#i wonder if this is what the weird feelings ive had all week has been building up to#of course when im feeling secure about my connection with someone (hi and sorry you have to see me like this) my mind finds a way to punish#me#i hit the character limit for a tag lol#im tired now#time for sleep#personal
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this started as the study of a picture i took of the greenery near the place i usually park my car. then i added petra, then i finished it for her birthday.
#fire emblem#fire emblem: three houses#fe3h#petra macneary#fe16#my art#in the end i gave up and used the foliage brush from procreate to help me out#it worked out better than expected#2000
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#lmao#for anyone who's curious the process went:#send ask to aita official#blog blows up#someone realizes its a chexer fic#i follow them bc they seem cool#i join their rvb server#their encouragement pushes me to finish the Actual Fic i was working on#i expand the fic to be more of a whole au after it comes out much better than expected#the next fic in the au that i work on has to do with a character's brain injury#this leads me to do research into brain injuries#''......huh. this sounds. a lot like the neurological symptoms that my doctors have been saying is just part of my anxiety disorder''#think on that for a while#go to the ER for unrelated reasons#remember my theory#bring it up to the doctor#Doctor Immediate Concern#doctors orders a ct scan#''eeyup! that there's some atrophying and a chiari malformation! y'ever had a head injury''#(i had had several)#''well! shit! time to refer you to neurosurgery :) see if we cant do somethin about all that memory loss and severe pain and shit''#and now we are here#it also lead me to research osddid systems for the first fic#and now my therapist is having me tested for osdd because i did not know that those symptoms were not a thing everyone experiences#so like. thanks for helping me meet friends who could encourage me to engage with the things i like + learn more about myself#^ ^ <3#im actually not gonna say ''ok last update fr this time'' bc idfk maybe something WOULD be funny to post on here
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aaaaand done!
hobieposes 4 u <3
some ppl seemed to like the sketch i posted and then deleted so here u go ↓
#mine#spiderverse#hobie brown#spider punk#yippee i finished!#idk if it lives up to expectations exactly but meh fuck it#also i wanted to finish this by may day but. welp#better late than never i guess? 😅#also if u recognize some poses yes. i did swipe some from miles and miles42's concept art as well#and the symbols used are anarchist symbols: chaos symbol. iww symbol. antifascist symbol.#ye!! ♡#i had fun doodling these but then ofc inking and coloring had to be STRESSFUL af bc duh 🙄#dont work with oil paint pens if you know whats good for you#but im glad i finally found a good use for my patterned card stock and 1 million receipts i had lyin around#thank u hobie brown 🫶#hobie helps me clear the clutter of paper i have stacked on my desk lmfao
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ONE
#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#kageyama shigeo#mp100 fanart#birb does draw#did a lot of experimenting and i think it turned out better than i expected..#inspired by works of laithraihan and k.dot4561 ^^
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Did a big art style study (feat. Delta Dawn)!
The styles from top left to bottom right: My style, @spooky-pop, @brrypiiix, and @trollzzzzz
Reblogs greatly appreciated!
Speedpaint under the cut!
#I definitely need to work in brrypiiix’s style cuz my interpretation was kinda….#the spookypop one came out much better than I expected tho!#art#cute#cute art#movies#trolls#trolls world tour#trolls fanart#dreamworks trolls#dreamworks trolls fanart#delta dawn trolls#delta dawn#art study#art style#art style study#art studies#fan art#my fanart#digital fanart#fanart#orange#red#idk what else to tag
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falling slowly eyes that know me and i can’t go back
#tutu art#im not 100% about this but my therapist said i need to post everything LOL#i love making these chaotic compositions it’s so fun :)#also the like paper collage effect worked so much better than i expected??#the fire effect too!! crazy mix of watercolours acrylics and poscas#must stop drawing the same two people#fullmetal alchemist
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VARGASTOBER - day 1 : memories
#vargastober#vargastober2024#HELLLO#HELLO HELLO IM EUPHORIC . GOD#it ended up looking even better than i expected !!!!! hhhell yeah !!!!!!!!#i'm like LOOK GUYS ( pointing at the screen ( I MADE THIS#i had to work on this one yesterday actually#i won't be home today . so i had to make sure i could actually get this one posted on time#it's currently 3:40AM . this will be posted idk at 1PM#i need to write a whole entry of the process but i didn't take any screenshots of it . great#i banged this one like in 5 hours . LIMITED TIME#NO TIME TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS OR WRITE NOTES#anyway don't want to talk too much here . I ENJOYED WORKING ON THIS ONE#vargas#scriabin vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin#zarla s#sunny's art#I HAVE A BUNCH OF EDGAR / JAKE DOODLES AND I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO POST THEM RIGHT NOW#two posts in a day is that too much#i'll save them for later . maybe i can make more in the meantime
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okay but why am i liking this so much
#it's turning out way better than expected. what the hell i should use my sketches as lineart more...#art#my art#wip#work in progress#saw#peter strahm
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Ok the new piece is so beautiful, so breathtaking. Definitely add it to your list for 'might make as a print'
Thank you, glad you liked it!
I actually struggled with that piece more than usual. The lineart is from last year, I just wasn't sure if I was happy with it and didn't dare to touch it in months.
#but I think it turned out alright#the sun and the stars worked better than I expected#my favorite detail is how Vasco has slid his hand under Machete's fascia#I dunno#hands and the conveying of emotions through touch#answered#anonymous
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Many things were used to describe the mad hermit of Amaurot: a drunkard, degenerate, cynical, and even monstrous by those who stirred trouble for the newly appointed Azem. But nothing could prepare Emet-Selch for what he would see for himself, when offered a chance to meet the Sun's Shadow.
#ffxiv#ancients#endwalker spoilers#emet selch#lahabrea#azem#azem oc#apollo#dionysus#hemitheos dionysus because I like the thought that anyone with soul sight will look at him#and they get to be jumpscared by what i like to personally imagine as a winged embodiment of void or the abyss#I would say the moon but within the context of FFXIV the moon isnt actually a normal astral body#though like azem/apollo and the role of the sun#I write dionysus to be the astrological moon#a character who represents the subconscious and the self- who often sees and brings out the worst in those around him#how I basically describe as being around him will break you to your barest so you can remake yourself into something better than before#unfortunately for the convocation he is also an antithesis to their ways and their biggest critic- out of love- funnily enough#also dont mind the idea that magic (especially creation magic) is so deeply ingrained that the idea of manual work is surprising to people#dionysus has to constantly use his aether to suppress his power he's either doing things by hand or sleeping#ancient zenos does not get to escape the sleepy curse#weird vintner in the mountains found lounging off in the middle of his vineyard#emet expecting dion to be the problem out of the duo until he realizes that /apollo/ is the overprotective cryptic and chaotic weirdo#with the power to stop an active volcano#and dion is the chill and collected hardworking man who despite everything is more human than most#tbh this was mostly inspired by the scenes with thordan and varis and how they react to WoL and Zenos in those moments#for dion/zenos it is their being while on the flip side for WoL/Azem it is their choices and the expression of such choices
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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been too long since i did a comic
#i'm in my ffvii era#i played original and then dirge and now i'm working through crisis core and remake#and ever crisis is there#i won't be able to play rebirth until it comes out on steam rip#i made the questionable decision of emulating vii on my modded 3ds and it ran better than you would expect but also kept deleting my saves#cait sith#final fantasy vii#tifa lockhart#ffvii
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i think a lot about how the roman thermae and bathing culture is presented as a sign of how Civilized and Advanced the romans were but one of the essential parts of the thermae was the caldarium, essentially a sauna, which was heated up through the floor.... under which slaves constantly had to toil to feed the fire while suffocating in the heat and steam that would rise through the floor to make free romans and the slaves' masters get a nice sweat, free to move on to the cold baths in the next room whenever they wanted.
#'roman citizenship was given to every free man in the empire' sure! but not only was that very late#but a very considerable portion of the population of the empire at any given point was a slave. most slaves lived horrific lives.#i mean i want to be clear rome wasn't like EXCEPTIONALLY brutal or bad to slaves compared to its neighbours#by which i mean that it was just as callous as most ancient mediterranean civilizations when it came to the treatment of slaves#and the scale of roman's brutality towards slaves matches the scale of its size and timeframe.#athenians were a much smaller population of the ancient world but slaves in the silver mines of laureion had a life expectancy of five year#that's still thousands upon thousands of people who suffered horrific deaths and lived the rest of their lives in miserable conditions#all to make the city rich#anyhow i don't think rome is like a particularly evil empire in the sense that all empires are evil#people love to imagine themselves ancient roman aristocrats but you would not have been one. you would be lucky to be a /domestic/ slave.#who still had shit lives tbc but exponentially better than working on the latifundiae#eli talks
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This is my final for one of my graphic design interactive media class...LMAO I would have liked to do more but I was going over the time limit. One of these days maybe I'll be able to expand upon this + improve the black sabbath scene + etc.
#me art#devilman#ryo asuka#akira fudo#ryokira#we were given less than two weeks to work on this... on top of a bunch of other projects expected to be completed#a lot of my peers I saw were doing simply just lyric videos and having fun with like transformations in adobe after effects#which in retrospect is probably a better idea than what I did which is. as you can see. hand drawing every panel for like 2 minutes worth#of content. I hope I will be able to have energy to pull through and finish this term.... after everything I've been having to deal with#I really hope this will not be my last graphic design class :')
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i have a theory about shinji, gin, and aizen, but i'm not really sure how to word it.
we never really see shinji and gin interact all that much, which makes sense bc both of them have significantly more important relationships with aizen, but at the same time it's a little odd how much there isn't.
like. gin cut hiyori in half. shinji is understandably pissed about that, but he aims that anger at aizen - and this seems to be one of the very few things in the bleach world that honestly isn't on him bc he never told gin to do that, he never even implied it. hiyori was never a threat to him. hell, we don't even know if she was charging in the right direction; if anything, attacking her implies that she was which is a really stupid thing to do when you're surrounded by a bunch of people who super want you dead and would kill you if they could be sure you weren't tricking them into stabbing each other (ofc it could also be a fakeout but still)
but i don't remember shinji's beef ever really being with gin, even tho he didn't seem to anticipate that gin was working with aizen the whole time during tbtp. so like does he feel responsibility there? cuz gin went straight from academy to 3rd seat and shinji could plausibly feel like that sent him right to aizen bc he doesn't know that gin was always aiming for that. did he blame himself? does he feel like he should've seen it coming? does he still see him as some weird genius kid? does he just view gin as an extension of aizen, which is both dehumanizing to an extent but also entirely fair bc gin did that to himself?
the thing is, since we never really see them interact much, it's kind of only interesting on shinji's side of things, bc gin doesn't really care about much outside of whatever the fuck he thought he was doing and the version of rangiku that he has in his head who needs back something that the real one doesn't ever seem to have realized she lost to begin with. gin's so disconnected with basically everybody that most of the time you can usually assume his thoughts are just "lol. lmao" and there's no reason to think that doesn't extend to shinji as well (gin has deep thoughts on: aizen, ichigo, and matsumoto (massive asterisk on that one ofc) and i think everyone else is kinda set dressing to him lmao the guy is Fucked Up)
anyway i think it's interesting to toy around with that relationship as it was in reality as well as how it might've been perceived, but also in the sense of both of them being sort of opposite ends of the manchild spectrum - shinji leans into his childish side but still has a fairly adult worldview, and gin is able to pull off maturity to an extent but was never able to escape a deeply childish mindset
#bleach#meta#hirako shinji#ichimaru gin#aizen sousuke#sarugaki hiyori#matsumoto rangiku#kurosaki ichigo#this whole post should also come with a huge asterisk that i'm deeply critical of gin's backstory in general and usually try to ignore it#but. since it is canon. it is a part of this post#and yes btw kira is absolutely included in the ''lol. lmao'' part of gin's fucked up little head#i should also note that to shinji it's very possible gin's situation looks like. uh. well grooming kinda#so he might view gin as a victim that he could've saved but can't anymore bc. well. he has jackass-itis now and it's terminal sad to say#but seriously the fifth division was involved with the academy right?#so this super genius kid comes out of nowhere. graduates in a sixth of the usual time. jumps into one of the highest ranks available.#third seat mysteriously went missing juuuuust in time for gin to snatch that seat up too. quite the coincidence#so now he's suddenly aizen's immediate subordinate. and seems to get along with him better than you'd expect for a brand new graduate.#but aizen worked in the academy - he was a hugely popular teacher#so maybe shinji saw gin trotting along behind aizen in the middle of getting hollowfied and thought ''well shit that's on me''#it wasn't ofc. there was no way he could've known or done anything and neither gin nor aizen would've let him know enough to try#but he doesn't know that himself and unless aizen decides to share then he just. never will#and gin will never care bc he fucked himself up so badly idk if he even really knew how to care anymore
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