#okay i can finally eat now
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Editing everyone to line up w headcanons. started this yesterday and just finished it up now 👍🏾
#ace attorney#myedits#everyone got edited if you cant see it its a little tiny thang (^_^)👍🏾#okay i can finally eat now#phoenix wright#apollo justice#athena cykes#trucy wright#pearl fey#simon blackquill#bobby fulbright#klavier gavin#miles edgeworth#okay everyones tagged now 👍
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would you bite the hand that feeds you?
#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#wild life smp#namemc spoilers#i hope these two never get along in the storyline i find them fascinating#OKAY SO#originally i had this sketch back in session 2 when scott manages to throw her something actually edible JUST IN TIME#and now with the namemc spoilers of pearl ACTUALLY having a yellow eye which does! kind of match scotts esp since he died for this#i figured itd be an appropriate time#i did edit it though the original was pearl eating smth#now do i think scott and pearl has had any Major (heh) interactions to warrant this fanart in WL?#frankly no LMAO theyve been very civil you go guys . but i like the dynamics between them anyway#also i finally got a piece with scott!!! hes been very hard to draw goodness#anyway long rambly tags#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#trafficblr#galaxyduo#majormoon#** i say civil because its just been more on verbal light jabs at each other rather than anything Really significant ?#and well. its obvious all 3Gs are being very careful around each other which makes me JUST A L IL SAD#id love to see them let loose and be vicious but i also understand the angle theyre coming from#anyway can you tell i like the 3g dynamics
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The clock keepers deserve to have the full shaded promo art for their volume 🙏🙏
Edit: I HAVE THEM ALL!!!
#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#jshk#aoi akane#mirai#I AM WAITING FOR KAKO PLZ#like yes the illustrations for Hanako/Tsukasa/Nene are okay but the effort went clearly for the clock keepers#I couldn't be happier aaaah#AidaIro finally answering the “Does Akane have red or brown hair?” question by putting both colors on one illustration#Tea colored hair my beloved#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jibaku shonen hanako kun#I am eating the blue and yellow illustrations so much omggg#and this green/blue is so close to my fav color (called duck blue in french) I am so happy#I CAN COLOR THE OWLS NOW TOO YEEES#Akane *takes a pose with his owl pet*#he is sending me help#him always having a neutral expression as a clock keeper kills me#I can't go insane I don't have time but the clock keepers are always in my mind#it's even more obvious how Akane and Mirai have the same front bangs here I am ascending
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#“alright talk to me what do we got?” with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#“the purple one you always bring” maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#“uh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?” maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#“this is salmon and rye bread 😄” “(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that 👉” “(charmed) and so is that 🫱”#“ill try your favourite first” GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#“salmon and rye bread—thats the famous one 🤓” [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#“herring” “herrin' 🤠?” “eating all this her-RING” no notes#“is this just another salmon on rye bread” he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#“different salmon? smoked?” the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#“i still love your country though” and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews “jokes” BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#“what the hell do i do with this thing?” MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts
#okay so strap in coz this is a wild ride#tl;dr we have been without heat and warm water for years and i mean literal years#because he refuses to pay off some debt he built up with the company#because he feels unfairly treated (let's not get into this. it absolutely makes no sense) by the company#so instead of doing the logical step of growing some balls and admitting he made a mistake and paying off his shit#he's been looking for a new supplier all over but the deal IS#that he's been doing this with a couple of places before and people are hesitant to even make him any offers#and you'd think that learning about THAT at least now he'd be like. idk willing to just pay off his debt and be done with it#but you'd be WRONG#now he's looking to just have our entire heating system replaced for the teeny tiny price of 25000 bucks#mind you his debt isn't even a THIRD of that#and obviously he can't afford those 25000 bucks#so what's his next step now you might wonder?#well good thing you asked. his next step is going off on ME for not paying towards the new heating he wants#and now that that's not working for him guess what he did next?#that's right. he bought shit expensive 'space heaters' that are pretty much just small little boxes that you plug into an outlet#and he swears up and down that they're going to heat up our house (it's negative degrees outside)#(it's obviously not working)#and genuinely. all i can think of is how much money he shoved into trying to macgyver this house into a house with warm water and heating#and how he blew off ten thousands of bucks he got paid when he retired within the span of two weeks#when this debt could have been paid off ten times over by now#so now you might be thinking. okay tiago. why don't you move out#good question you see. my mom is disabled and reliant on someone who cares for her#something that he can't won't and shouldn't do because the last time he sorta kinda tried she almost died and we had to call an ambulance#she wouldn't eat a thing if i weren't there to cook. the house would fall into disrepair if i wouldn't do maintenance all around#i've set up (functioning) heat in some areas she occupies and i've gotten a boiler going so she at least has warm water#i'm paying off their bills to make sure he doesn't skip on paying any others. i'm buying groceries for them because again they wouldn't get#any for themselves#and finally. i've offered to pay off his debt so that we can finally live like normal fucking people do#and guess what. guess WHAT. he just got mad at me for not adding money to that 25000 bucks pool for that new fancy heating he wants
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given form
#ffxiv#ffxiv oc#au ra#geese art#ocs#oc: yesui#final fantasy fourteen main story quest you SHOULDN’T HAVEEEE#blinks cutely. heehee#spoilers in the next several tags. u have been warned#okay.#the exarch trying to crack the weird protection around kiril’s soul n accidentally grabbing the wrong person AGAIN#except this time. uhm. she is not supposed to be here because also she is dead#or she was…#it’s not like she’s alive though. still just a soul.#but she can touch things now!! she can feel again!!!!!#first thing she’s doing is slapping the shit out of the exarch. as is her right#and then eating something. yaye :)#and then waiting for kiril.#also i gave her clothes because she simply did not want to not have clothes.#such is the way of things.
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary…
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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day 3 of being very happy! give it up for day 3 in a row of simply being quite happy!
#think it's actually going to actually freeze tonight for the first time this season but you know. that's okay.#that won't hamper my mood#you see i've washed my dishes and i'm clearing a cabinet and i'm eating food and drinking tea my stomach ache finally went away#god isn't real but if it was it's smiling down upon me i can tell#that's right i'm so happy i'm it/itsing god now. you heard me.#adam yaps
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now that the elation of being on-paper sick has worn off i'm back to getting my feelings hurt by innocent posts. anyway someday within the next few months i'm gonna be on a bunch of prednisone or other steroids and then i'm gonna do all my dishes and clean my whole house and go swimming and do my job and fix my life and it's okay that i fucking suck at doing any of those things now because i have a debilitating physical disability.
snide posts about how depressed people need to put on their big-boy pants and take care of themselves are not actually about me because what i am contending with is not depression. what i am contending with is a progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain. that is not the same as being too sad to get up and wash a dish.
generalized spoonie advice and outlooks feel too optimistic or out-of-touch or non-applicable to me because they aren't applicable to me because what i am contending with is not an average spoonie experience. it is a specific progressive disease that destroys my muscles, skin, joints, and potentially lungs kidneys and brain.
if i feel bad and need to rest and don't pull my weight in my relationships it's because i need to wait to be treated with steroids and in the meantime i just need to hold on. i am not required to do anything else to take care of myself. my body is eating itself with a condition that has a high rate of fatal complications and literally my only job is not to die.
my only job is not to die. that is the only thing i need to do right now. any posts saying that people need to do anything else for self-care or for being a good person or for having healthy relationships are not applicable to me, because my circumstances are highly specific. healthy people need to take steps to better their lives. people like me need to rest until our doctors can help us because overtaxing ourselves might kill us.
a depressed person being too sad and hopeless and miserable to get up is being lied to by their brain. my brain is not lying to me when it tells me that i need to rest because my body is on fire.
my only job right now is not to die.
#i know none of YOU need to hear this. reasoning it out for myself.#all of this remains true whether my final diagnosis is lupus or MCTD or both.#i'm very unlikely to die unless my pulmonary function tests indicate i have the fatal kind of MCTD#which would suck. but is unlikely.#the 10-year survival rates for MCTD and lupus are both good barring complications. my job is not to let those complications happen.#that means sleeping when i need to for however long i need to. eating thoughtfully. keeping a positive outlook. doing things i like.#reducing overall stress. not engaging with things that upset me. forgiving myself for being useless. being incredibly zen and chill.#taking steroids and seeing a neurologist and doing chemo if they need me to (unlikely). being patient.#it's okay for me to be in limbo right now. it's okay for me to sleep 18 hours a day.#i'm not depressed. i am very sick.#autoimmune tag#on this note i'm gonna figure out something nice to do with my day and see if i can get a few dishes done.
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I have so much to do and so little energy for any of it
#cannot wait until i can set up grocery deliveries#bc just the act of a small weekly grocery shop wipes me out for the rest of the day#i still have so much to do but all i want to do is shower and eat and sleep#and on top of the exhaustion i feel so shitty rn bc every. single. ad. i've had on instagram for the past week#has been for weight loss products diet plans diet apps etc.#and i was doing okay brushing it off but it finally hit me hard today so now i'm in for a period of despising the very fact i have a body#and fighting to justify eating anything#personal#vent
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i got so excited about getting an email that my stamps have shipped
is this what being an adult is like?
#anyways gonna have stamps hopefully by thursday so i can send the rest of my things out#im getting two in the mail tomorrow as they are priority and rest when the stamps get here#..and that big one when i overcome social anxiety and take it to the post office to confirm how much it weights so i can ship it properly#which will hopefully be next weeks tuesday since im in town#but yeah! bracelets should be going out soon finally! i didnt get the last ones back after sending them so its a good sign!#tho its been almost a week and now im concerned where are they since i havent been told theyve arrived so...#need to remember international postage is slow ough#but yeah. all should be good at least. so excited to finally get things to people 💜💜💜#which means im motivated and inspired to make more soooo hopefully another shop update by friday. maybe sneak peeks early? 👀#and comms are open ofc if you want something specific 💜#okay no more ramble time i gotta eat and take care of few important things before i can sit down to make bracelets ough#night is an absolute mess on main
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annnd of course tonight - when I finally have some motivation to get shit done - I am sooo dizzy. :)
#I just really. really. REALLY am tired of either my body or my brain being like you know what. fuck you. you feel bad now!#okay yeah I forgot to eat again or whatever but I finally did and it's not helped at all#I just miss being able to do.... anything at all.#so I guess I'm sitting down and watching the librarians and. idk working on my bullet journal or something. can't think of anything#else useful that would work right now.#but hey! at least I managed to finally dye my hair today! been wanting to do that for ages so that's nice#but whatever I'll go see if I can use a pen without everything looking all shaky 🙃#personal
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.
#cw// ed#thinking abt. how i finally inched my way to the weight i have been wanting all this time#and its just in time for thanksgiving the infamous gorge yourself holiday#just in time for having to pretend like i eat three meals a day every day and dont mind having snacks at all whatsoever#just in time for my mom to look me over and ask if im doing okay with my 'therapy things'#like when did the cost of being okay with myself become my happiness and well-being??#when did living in a body i can tolerate become being afraid of any meals that arent on my list of 0.2 foods i can deal with??#when did a marginally smaller body become more important to me than living a full life??#i saw the number on the scale and all i felt was this sense of doing something right. not joy not satisfaction not pleasure.#just 'okay. now do it again.'#theres a line in tbosas: i couldnt have killed them all for nothing#its the sunk cost fallacy. i couldnt have wasted all this time+money+effort just to end up my not as small(?) larger(?) self again#god i am so sad. and so angry.
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talks of weight and eating and such in the tags
!!! im officially over 100 pounds for the first time in like 15 years 🥹
#i have always struggled with gaining weight/eating#for as long as i can remember#and it only got worse when i turned 14-15#lotta shit happened and i ended up dropping to like . 75 pounds#it was . terrifying#but now !!!#after 4+ months#ive finally tipped over 100 pounds#3 meals a day + snacks#which may seem easy for most#but for me it was such a fucking struggle#so this is a very big deal for me#. anyway .#thats all#i just wanted to share bc its a big deal for me#what do u mean i cant see my ribs anymore!#okay im gonna go find a game to play bye#kat.txt#tw eating issues
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