#i think it rlly got me thru uni.

[pink-lemonadefairy]

[tearfest]

sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant

[muniimyg]

heyy idk if anyone ever asked u this before so i am gonna ask lol !

which one of your works do u love the most and why :>

not in order

your universe: i rlly liked the concept. its an easy read, characters are easy to digest, but it also had that element of push and pull in terms of their romance. it’s not really meant to be specific and super detailed (again because it’s supposed to be an easy read), so when i recall little concepts like their names (ace & aki), their contact names (fermented cum), and their setting in general was really fun for me. i’ve always liked writing uni au’s but this one hit the spot. i also remember it fondly because my readers were super into it! the interactions made writing the story so fun and it’s how i got close with 2 of my favourite readers 😋

nonsense: god this jimin was so sexy to me. the idea of 2 virgins being each others fwb ,, and then add the enemies to lovers vibe because of academic rivalry?? sounds like a lot but their dynamic jus worked. it flowed so well and even tho the story has the least interactions; i had such a good time writing it. i remember writing majority of it at the airport during my trip to toronto. it felt like i was truly writing for fun and didn’t feel much in terms of the pressure to make it as good as my last fic or to update as consistently. overall so precious to me because of the process!

left on read / close to you / all at once: ok let’s get into it LOL

lor jk’s lore is so sweet to me! like wdym you’re a ppl pleaser and the only person you want to actually please hates you 😭 the sunshine boy x grumpy girl duo is elite to me. the first draft i had of them was made soooo long ago. it was supposed to be the first fic i ever posted but it turned out to be the 3rd or smt.

c2u jk is iconic. like in terms of growth as a writer, i think this fic showcases that. from the way i write smut to the actual flow and pacing for this fic—i’ve honestly never been so proud of myself. not to mention how much this fic was supported. i was literally going thru it, thinking i was done writing fanfics cos i was a) out of ideas b) didn’t think there were anymore readers for me (silly, i know) but it was so interesting to see how suddenly all eyes were on c2u jk. i’m beyond thankful for the readers i met along the way and all the laughs. i felt like i was able to explore more in terms of my freakiness but also push my content quality. it’s also one of the very few smau i have that the texts are mainly focused between jk and oc so incorporating that comedic relief was hehe haha

aao jk i feel is like if lor and c2u jk had a baby. i impulsively wrote and posted aao jk cos i felt like i had to cleanse my mind from how nasty c2u turned me. he’s so funny and comforting, i’m so glad everyone got the boyfriend feels! i also had such a fun time writing it and was impressed with myself for keeping up with the updates and flow. it was meant to be a one shot but obviously it turned out to be even more… wouldn’t have it any other way 🌟

my other faves: please love me kth, chaebol jk (it pissed so many ppl off LOL), and bbydaddy jk… paraluman is pure trauma but has to be on this list because IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.

[thelasttime]

i'm having a rlly hard time in my life. i just graduated uni and i'm starting a new job that i dont love and pays terrible and i'm flat broke and can't pay rent, but i have my eras tour date coming up soon, and it was one of the few things i was really looking forward to bc taylor has always been there for me thru the hardest parts of my life, but my enthusiasm is somewhat dampened by what's going on with YB and musty and all that, and it's making me really sad. i just want her to leave him!! also why didnt joe just f---ing propose!!! coward!!!! yeah... do you have any advice madie :( sorry for the heavy ask

hi anon ❤️ first of all, please don't apologize for sending me this ask because it means a lot to me that you feel comfortable sharing these feelings and emotions with me (and i want you to! because i want to be here for you!)

second of all, graduating is such a tumultuous time in any person's life and you're so valid in feeling this way. i think it's really important to recognize that any change in a person's life is never going to be easy, but it's about how we're able to react to those changes that makes it meaningful. i don't have any great big pieces of advice for how to deal with those changes besides knowing that you're going through so much change and your emotions about these changes are so valid and i'm always here to listen if you need to talk to someone. do you think it would be helpful if you tried to find a new job? like obviously start your current job and then while you're at that job, maybe look into better-paying jobs if possible!!

third thing about eras tour, again it's completely valid to feel this way and i completely empathize with you on feeling like your enthusiasm is dampened because of what's happening. for this, i've been actually pulling away and listening to a lot of less of her music. when i got to the concert, i found myself being more excited about the whole experience like sharing friendship bracelets and meeting people from tumblr or just straight up dancing to good music vs. seeing her specifically if that makes sense? like finding good and important things that bring you joy during eras tour that don't directly involve her specifically.

i hope this is helpful!! i'm sorry if the advice isn't super specific, but i still hope that you have a good time at eras tour and that things start to get better for you ❤️

[unounoo]

hmmm…

[sipsteainanxiety]

binge read forget me not and oh my goddd!!! okay butt i litetally hated the trainer dude (im not good names sorry) in the start cuz i was like 😤😤 this dude is wayyy too much like bakugo and he's OBVIOUSLY replacing bakugo and name will fall for him and bakugo will spend the rest of his life in utter loneliness😔😔...... and then i was like 'o' maybe its bakugo in disguise and i felt so stupid for the next 20 minutes :/

alsooo like i lovee the way you wrote the whole trauma and the kidnapping and the torture thingy! i love the way name doesnt give upp!! i mean if i were in her place id just give up within the first 10 minutes so her strong spirit is really cool (cool? that's the best adjective ive got???) the way you wrote her character really makes her seem soooo real!!!

also rq but when mitsuki was all screaming at her parents was it cuz of saki being name and bakuhoe's kid?? or was there something else too?? (.....are bakuhoe and name secretly married......)

also i wonder how name would react when she finds out that trainer bro is apparently the crimson eyed scary bro! (i think that she's gonna FREAK if she finds out like.... right now?) i mean like YAYYYY angst but also 😭😭😭🥲🥲🥲🥲 angst

alsoo i wonder if dr. shin and his boss dude will make another appearance (was name just hallucinating when she saw him?? also why didnt she tell deku and all might that time when she saw dr. shin and deku was like right there?)! anddd what kinda experiments were they gonna do on the kid? is there something actually special about the kid (maybe like eri?) or is it just them being bitches because evil organization of course they're gonna do experiments on kids 😔😔 Also why name of all people? is there something special about her? i mean yea she's some rlly cool hero but like they could've done the experiments on anyone i mean look at the rising population there's no shortage of humans on this planett!! is it because some grudge against bakugo or something? also how was bakugo to blame for name's kidnapping? (her parents said that right?) how did making her hate bakugo profit the evil doctor? also did they actually plan on letting her out?? because??? it wont make sense for them to spend so much time making her hate bakugo if they wanted her to stay in the facility forever

dam i have a lot of questions!!! i really liked your fic tho! really had me thinking and it has a rlly interesting plot!

whewwwew this is a long ask omg i love it 😳 i saw u popping up in my notifs LMFAO im glad u like the fic so much!!! 🥺♥️ poured my goddamn soul into that shit 😤😤😤 everyday im feening to fight god bc of little plot intricacies ive had to grapple with in the background LOL but it works out in the end. mostly

haha idk what ur talking about this is actually an oc x reader 😌 fukui the loml ♥️ my brainchild ♥️

yeah all that trauma and kidnapping stuff was something i really wanted to explore in this story. not only to make it more meaningful but also to test my limits as a writer. there are a bunch of little details ive written throughout the story tht serves as an indication for specific side effects of reader having gone thru…. well... All That. i did my best with it! do i think it could be better? probably. 😩😩 but ill leave it how it is instead of picking at it as i tend to do LMAO

also same if i was in reader’s shoes id literally just give up within like five minutes LOL but i wanted her to be strong esp with her being a pro hero, so 😌😌😌 sis ended up being p badass

LOL ur not gonna get any spoilers from me miss ma’am 😌 im like. halfway? 3/4ths? done with the next chapter tho but idk when ill be able to finish it with uni and all. and i have to type out a detailed outline for the remaining chapters to make sure i address everything i wanna address LMAO and then have my friend beta everything…. so much to do, so little time 💔

i promise ur questions will be answered eventually! seriously we dont even have much more left lol. i just hope everything meets expectations cuz damn i rly strung yall along on this angsty journey LMAO

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[starryseo]

phone number. | yang jeongin

pairing ↠ jeongin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just a fluffy barista au!!

wc ↠ 3229

summary ↠ jeongin likes you a latte.

warnings ↠ just jeongin being cute and in loooove. its cringey.

a/n ↠ barista!jeongin bc who doesn’t love cafe aus?

cafe glow is well-known around these parts of town bc it has such!! great!! food and drinks!

it has a real homely feel so a lot of student from the nearby schools/ unis come here

and it’s a pretty big cafe so there’s a lot of space for ppl to come in and chill, whether that be large study groups or just individuals trying to cram for upcoming tests

that homely feel?? it’s bc of all the youngsters that basically run the cafe

it’s officially owned by mr and mrs bang, but their son, chan, manages this cafe a lot since they’ve got a few other places in town to run

chan loves recruiting teens to work bc, despite their hyperactivity (esp the lot that are currently there), they’re a lot less work to deal with than grumpy adults complaining abt wages

so!!

just a few months ago, jeongin started looking around for places to work at

let’s get that bread bro

he spoke to a lot of the nearby businesses like the florist, library and pizzeria but as soon as he entered glow and saw a blond guy downing shots of black coffee as he made different drinks, he Knew he wanted to work here

he headed straight to the counter (ok ofc he waited in line first but who cares abt that)

“welcome to glow, what can i get ya?”

“hi, i was wondering if you were hiring?”

“so,” the guy - nametag reading Felix - began, leaning forwards on the counter, “you wanna join the glow gang, huh? have you got what it takes??”

maybe he should’ve thought more clearly abt this-

“felix are u creeping out kids again?? i swear this is the last time i leave you on counter duty” the black-coffee-drinking blond huffed, wiping his hands on his apron as he left the coffee machines. he nudged felix out of the way, pushing him to the machines before he turned to jeongin. “i’m sorry abt him, i don’t know why i still keep him around”

“i heard that!”

 “anyway,” the blond - nametag with Chan printed on it - grinned, “what can i get for you?”

“a job here would be great”

“you really wanna work here,,,, with that?” he pointed over to felix who looked back with a frown

“yeah, it seems pretty fun!”

“you got a cv on you?”

jeongin is a Prepared Boi. before his job hunting run he printed off multiple copies of his cv so he handed it over to chan who briefly looked over it

“when can you start working?”

“when do you need me to?”

chan let out a chuckle at that, pocketing jeongin’s cv, “swing by tomorrow at 4 and we’ll work that out, yeah?”

jeongin went home a Happy Boy and the next day at exactly 4:37 he had landed himself a sweet job at cafe glow

ever since that day a few months ago, jeongin had been learning the ins and outs of the cafe

he’s learnt all about where felix hides his ‘secret’ stash of sweets, where to kick if the machines ever go down and jisung’s ability to not stop talking

jisung’s the guy in charge of training jeongin bc chan doesn’t trust felix with another human’s life and minho, an older uni student that works here part time, is way too busy flirting with customers to get more tips those uni fees won’t pay themselves u go bby

and chan himself already has a lot to deal with since he mainly works in the kitchens

so jisung has taken jeongin under his wing and taught him how to make all drinks (despite there being a manual for this) and how to deal with the customers

and even tho jisung is only 5 months older than jeongin, he n e v e r misses an opportunity to baby the hecc out of him

“what are the different cup sizes we have?”

“uh,, small,, medium and large??”

“goSH jeonGIN you’re so smART!!!! ily!!! what cAN’T you do???”

jisung’s overdramatic as hell but he means well

and it’s always funny when jeongin teams up with felix (still a pretty rare occassion) to prank jisung

one day jeongin had a test after school so he couldn’t come by

and ofc he let chan know this in advance but he and felix decided not to tell jisung

jisung was waiting around for jeongin to come and he literally almost started crying when felix told him an hour later that jeongin wasn’t gonna come

“,,m,y bab y ? jeonginnie??? wh at do u me an,, he won’t com,e??? felix you a s s don’t l i e to m,e,, :((((”

they even got minho to record the whole thing not for free ofc, and minho’s services are n o t cheap, but it was totally worth it

felix screenshot jisung’s crying face and it’s now the display picture of their glow gang group chat

which btw never shuts up bc: during the day (and work hours) felix, jisung and jeongin will be spamming it, during the evening minho will complain abt all the uni work he’s got to do, after dinner time the youngsters are back on it sending memes until like 2am, and then by 4am chan finally gets on and complains abt the boys killing his storage with their dumb memes & he gives any updates abt the next day’s schedule if need be

it’s a great system, hella wild and random, but jeongin loves it nonetheless

now for the part where u, dear reader, come in!!

it’s just an ordinary day, a bit quieter than usual but jeongin’s not complaining bc it gives him time to finish off some of his hw while he’s at the till

he looks up when the door chime rings and

(°ロ°) ! 

he’s vvv obviously staring at u as u walk in, his pen drops on the counter and his mouth is :0

damn yn you’ve broken jeongin

but does he care???

yes

is he stopping?????

also yes but you’ve already seen his dumbstruck face and he realises he was caught just staring at u when u walk up to him with a shy smile on your face

he doesn’t know what’s come over him

and he doesn’t mean to be some typical teenage boi straight out of a high school drama

but u just look so pretty he couldn’t help but?? go heart eyes??

he’s trying not to lose his cool when u finally reach the counter

“hi!” he grins, “welcome to cafe glow, what can i get for you?”

you order your drink and watch as jeongin types away at the computer

he’s rlly hoping the screen blocks his blush bc he’s still (´♡‿♡`)’ing and he’s pretty sure he can feel his blush at this point

“is there anything else i can get you?”

your number

he finds your thinking face so cute!! the way u bite ur lip a little as your eyes glaze over the sweet treats they have on display

he d i e s when u look back up at him and ask, “anything you’d recommend?”

he keeps his cool as he says some of his fave desserts, and you choose the cheesecake

“alright! will you be eating in or is that to-glow go”

his heart swells when u laugh at his pun but he’s highkey dYinG inside bc he wants u to stay for just a little longer

he almost cries when u say you’re eating in bc !!! yes!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!! maybe he could try talking to you!!!!!

“sweet! take a seat anywhere, your food will be made shortly!”

when u go to pay for ur food he’s internally hating felix bc he swears all these mushy feelings he’s experiencing are bc felix made him watch back-to-back romance films

he’s taken money from a lot of customers but he’s never, n e v e r, wanted to just hold their hand and he’s honestly so close to just never letting go of yours rn but he mentally slaps himself

pull it together jeongin u dumbass

when u tell him to keep the change he’s just

s i g h can u get any more perfect

he yeets felix out of the way from the coffee machines and towards the till

“role change, i’m bored!”

“but chan banned me from the tills, he’s gonna kill me!”

“i’ll get jisung on you”

“uGHhgHGHghhhhh”

he’s halfway thru making ur drink when minho sliiiides next to him and slings an arm around his shoulders

“so, innie, who’s the cutie you’re serving?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

from his short time working here he knows that minho is in love with any kind of gossip and there’s no point in lying to him

esp not with this massive blush on jeongin’s face that’S STILL thERe bc jeongin peeked over and saw you taking out textbooks which means you’re gonna stay here for lo n g er than he thought

and he’s got this huge grin on his face :D

and no one’s ever that happy making coffee

esp not when felix is right next to them singing along to the twice song playing in the cafe

god knows who put felix in charge of the cafe playlist

an y w ay

“does our baby innie have a,,, crushhh on a certain someone???”

“noooooookay maybe? idk i just met them!!”

“:0!!!! our baby’s iN LOVE!!!”

minho said that so loudly!!! jeongin peered over minho’s shoulder and saw that y o u had looked up at the exclamation and he let out a sheepish laugh to try and make the scene look normal

u just grinned at him and he almost swooned

minho’s shouting alerted jisung who deadass ran from the other side of the cafe

jisung, out of breath: wh-what do u mean,, in love,,,??? you’re too young for that ://

even chan popped out from the kitchen. “jeongin loves someone?? how cute, who is it- felix, what the hell are u doing there, didn’t i ban u from the tills??”

“blame loverboy!”

“gUYsss :((( let me wORk!!”

“u do u, innie, go get ‘em tiger!” minho said, smirking as he took a step back

the other boys stayed quiet as well, chan filling up the front display with the baked goods he freshly made

jeongin quietly got to finishing off ur drink and grabbed a cheesecake slice to carry over to you

“h-hey,” he started, placing the plate and drink beside your textbook, “sorry it took so long,,,”

“that’s alright,” you smiled and all his worries literally washed away, “was everything okay back there?”

“yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling shyly, “minho’s just easily excited and nosy, a terrible combination really”

u laughed at that and he grinned, his nerves easing away

“u guys seem really close,” when he saw u quickly look over to the counters he turned as well, just in time to see all four of them rush to try and act natural (altho jisung just dropped to the ground so he’s really a lost cause)

“they’re really crazy, but they do mean well,” he grinned, “except felix, avoid him at all costs”

“i’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckled when jeongin pointed out who felix was and felix just glared back at him, as tho he knew jeongin was talking shit abt him

“well,” he started, realising he should go bc a big group of customers had just entered, “i’ll leave u to it, i hope u enjoy ur food. let me know if u need anything else!”

he headed back to the counter, a HUGE grin on his face, he’s so glad his back is to u bc he’d be so embarassed if u saw

it’s bad enough minho saw and is non-stop teasing him abt it now

throughout his shift minho was just taunting him, cooing “innie’s in love~”

as he was dealing with other customers and running around the cafe, he’d make quick eye contact with u and each time he did, u let out the softest smiles, he’s pretty sure he’s never smiled this much

abt an hour later when the rush had died down, jeongin looked over to see that!!! u were still there!!!!!

he fixed up a quick mango smoothie, smth he always found super refreshing, and headed over to your table

“h-hey?” he tapped your shoulder when he noticed u had your headphones in

“oh, hey! i, uh, i didn’t order this?”

“yeah, it’s,, it’s on the house, thought you might need a pick-me-up, you’ve been working rly hard”

“ahh thank you!!!” u grinned at him so cutely, “would u like to sit down?”

he nodded too enthusiastically but he hopes u didn’t pick up on that ((u did)) as he sat down opposite you

for the next 30 mins? hour?? neither of u know

u guys just talked

he’s thanking god that there was no rush in customers bc he enjoyed spending time just talking to u

the conversation seemed to flow so?? naturally???

he found out ur name and that u go to a nearby school sadly not the same one as him

and u were taking the scenic route home instead of ur normal walking path or using the bus which is why he’d never seen u before

he’s so glad that fate brought u here today tho!!!! eternally grateful that u made that wise choice!!!

when ur phone buzzed with a message from ur family he finally realised that it was getting late

he watched almost in tears as u packed ur stuff up, thanking him for the drinks and snacks that he definitely didn’t steal from felix’s hidden stash

he went back to the counter, stars in his eyes as he leaned against the counter, opposite minho who was chilling by the till

“so, how’d it go? did u get their number??”

jeongin: (❤ω❤) 

jeongin, 0.02 secs later: ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

felix, jumping in: “pls don’t tell me u spent all that time,,,,, and u didn’t get their number-”

minho: “loverboi was too busy making moves, eh?”

jeongin’s mood instantly dropped and he was so close to just headbutting the counter then and there

what if u never come back????

what if u came back when he wasn’t there?????

what if you’re on ur way here but then u see another cafe and u go there instead and fall in love with a barista there???????

jeongin’s 2 seconds away from pouting for all eternity when chan comes over and pats him on the back, “i’m sure they’ll come back!”

jeongin’s praying the old man’s right

and he is!!!!!!! cliche ik

u didn’t come back the next day which broke jeongin’s heart and he was honestly so close to losing all hope bc he’s incredibly dramatic like that

but u come back the day after!!!

jeongin’s wiping down a table when u enter and u spot him instantly and wave

he waves back but the cloth he’s holding slips from his hand onto the ground

and he rushes to pick it up but hits his head on the table when he tries standing up again

and he’s in so much pain but he just nervously laughs it away esp when he sees ur half worried, half trying-not-to-laugh-aloud face

when he sees u walking to him -- not the counter -- he’s counting to 100 in 3 seconds to try and calm himself down to not look like even more of a fool

“is the table okay?”

“yeah, i’m alri- hey, rude!” he pouts, faking a sniffle and rubbing his head

“i’m kidding, jeongin” (he had to bite his lip to not squEAL when u said his name) “are you okay? that looked painful :((”

“i’ll live,” he fake sobbed, rubbing away imaginary tears with the cloth in his hand before he realised what he’d just done and dropped it on the table in disgust (he highkey dieddd when u laughed at him again) “ew, i’m sorry you had to see all this”

“it’s fine,” you grinned, scrunching ur nose when u saw the wet smears on his face, “but u got a lil smth there” u pointed to ur own cheek

jeongin wanted to CRY

he knows he’s a cute boi (he uses this to his advantage whenever he can)

but rn??

he knows he looks like the epitome of a grade A DumbassTM

he just let out the longest s i g h

“i’ll be right back!”

he rushed off to the back and sorted himself out (and quickly iced his head)

he came back out to see u sitting down at the same table as last time

as soon as he came thru the doors u looked up and held out thumb, an eyebrow raised

and he reciprocated the gesture, telling u he’s all okay now!

he found it so cute that u cared!!! his heart: on fire!!

felix walked right to him, pulling him along to the coffee machines as he told him ur order

“u owe me one now loverboi!”

jeongin prepped ur food and took it to u like last time

but this time u initiated the conversation

“felix isn’t all that bad, y’know?” you said, holding onto your hot drink as it warmed ur hands up

“for now,” jeongin started, “trust me, if u ever have the misfortune of seeing him act cute, you’ll regret ever saying that.”

your nose scrunched as you imagined that -- jeongin gasped when he saw and then prayed you didn’t see that -- before you let out the cutest laugh he’s ever heard, “yeah, i can’t imagine that looking nice”

you two talked for a bit more until jeongin had to get back to the counter and take orders

he popped up at your table when he could, offering felix’s sweets and a refill

“do you treat all your customers like this? free drinks isn’t good for business, y’know?”

he went bright red at your teasing bc “nope, you’re special!” -- his eyes went w i d e when he said that and, if it was possible, his cheeks went redder -- but god, was it worth it bc your eyes sparkled and your blooming blush was so pretty he was starstruck

he cleared his throat, let out the most nervous chuckle ever, put the lemonade on your table before diving behind the counter

he could practically hear minho’s smirk from all the way over here

great.

it took a little while longer for him to psych himself up to go over to you again after that disaster

but seeing you pack up your bag made him forget everything and run up to you

“hey, you’re done already?” he asked, pouting as you put your last book away

“yeah, i’ve gotta help make dinner soon,” you replied, fixing your bag over your shoulder, “thanks for the drink, it was great!”

“y-yeah, no problem!” you loved his drink!! score!!!! “come again soon, yeah?”

“definitely,” you winked -- you winked, god his heart was weak -- before waving and taking your leave

felix slid up next to him, throwing his arm around jeongin’s shoulders

“pls tell me you got their number this time”

shit.

the top gif is jeongin’s face right now

[abcdosaka]

ok bts/member’s mixtapes/other related songs songs that make me cry. lemme try not to cry writing this post. most of these are actually solo songs but i write bts anyways jsut to save time

the last (agust d): ugh the way this song builds up. yoongi did this a lot in his solo songs in the past, kinda start off slow and then build up to a really intense ending, like in intro hyyh, intro nevermind, and first love. but anyways he really got personal on this song. like he really described all the shit he went thru, but its not totally negative bc he developed a respect for himself.

this is my fav off his first mixtape aside from so far away (which ill get into in a min).

reflection (rm): i like the movie metaphor in the beginning. and how he transitions from “i want to caress myself” to “sometimes i really hate myself” :((((((((((((((((( and the melody on the synths ~1:40 is so sad and nostalgic, it really makes sense how he composed it at a park. and these lyrics hit especially hard:

like same bro same. oh and the i wish i could love myself part......first of all isnt that really really brave to make a song about your struggles in a country where talking about mental health is still difficult for most ppl? even in canada where the mental health campaign has really strengthened, i still 100% hate and refuse to talk about my feelings to others despite many attempts. i still manage to downplay it and act like im not struggling. but anyways. god bless brazil fans for making that fanchant when i first heard about it it was really heartwarming to me.

promise (jimin): this is one of my fav comforting bts songs. it starts off depressingly but i really like that this is a self love anthem. the “i want you to be your light” hits. the last verse hits even more. like yes jimin i will make a promise to you to love myself more. idk why i never really listen to this kinda music but i think i should be more open to it. maybe its cuz i like bts as ppl a lot but when they’re talking about their struggles but still include their audience in their message of “love myself” then that makes me rlly happy.

always (rm): i mean i feel like i dont need to explain this. but these lyrics especially

ppl always mention trivia love when mentioning rm using wordplay with hangul but the explanation behind the line “It’s trying to hurt me” is really good too. i’m glad he said he doesn’t feel like this anymore

badbye (rm): this song just sounds like something you’d write when you can’t think of anything but how much you wanna die. its my fav off mono but its so sad

so far away (agust d): ah.......i saved  this one for last bc it literally describes me as i am right now. I live because I can’t die. it’s supposed to be encouraging, follow your dreams, etc, at the end but as I am rn i can’t. I think if I followed my dreams I’d fail just because of how weak I am, and how much I give up. I’d end up alone too. To be honest i’m a person who lacks drive. i think i’m smart, bc how could i get by in uni with the grades i have rn with the current amount of effort i’ve put in? but my mental strength is so lacking. i’m lacking in taking and maintaining interest in things, in completing things, in committing to things. I think my big flaw is i can’t commit to things. i dont know, if i write anymore i won’t stop thinking about it so lemme just post my fav lyrics. but this is definitely one of my fav songs of all time as of right now just because of the lyrics, not even considering the songs composition itself. surans voice is so beautiful

that last line especially. sleep is my only escape. i sleep so much because its so nice being able to escape from life and just not experience it. i hate being present in the world. my favourite time is right before i go to bed when i can fantasize about stuff that isnt real. i always save that time and never think about the real world unless something good happened that day, otherwise i go right into fantasy world which makes me fall asleep so easily and happily. i also like showers too bc i feel free to sing and i can think about my fantasies there too. waking up takes me several hours bc not only do i not have a window, waking up means i actually have to get started with the day and do things. being able to pretend i’m not real for even a bit longer is all i want in the mornings.

anyways its 3 am. i did cry writing this. tbh, ill finish those notes tomorrow morning. ill try to get out of bed at a reasonable time and not lay there pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist for a few hours like i normally do. and ill do that assignment due monday (i think itll be easy enough anyway) maybe ill even listen to my music course (i think this week is about payola which i really wanted to learn about). heh.........im good at planning but im never good enough to execute them....lets see if i actually do this stuff. i hope i genuinely try at least

[evilduckling]

ignore if u dont like personal stuff sorry x

ok so I started my 3rd year at uni in a toxic relationship, with my place at uni being threatened (and obvs w that, all the roles I had spent 2 years working towards). an absolute fish out the water cos I knew as soon as me and my ex broke up I'd lose the weirdos that were my exes friends I was forced to constantly hang out w last year. I was frightened of speaking up in the relationship, knowing full well I wasnt in love with the person but cos they had been so manipulative and isolated me constantly, I couldnt actually face the idea of being alone. like i really thought my chances were better in a relationship w a person I wasnt in love with than being alone cos my ex had ruined my self esteem that badly. I was manipulated and lied to, constantly had my trust broken and went thru a shit load of microagressions in the relationship as well.

then on top of that I had the disciplinary matter, being stalked and my reactions to racism being used to discredit me and all my work. interviews that rlly were just interrogations that lasted for 3 months with no end in sight. my lecturers at uni being awful to me, saying they didnt think I'd graduate or succeed cos of these things. having to walk on egg shells at the uni in which i was doing all this social work for free in voluntary roles.

like. I was alone and under so much stress and my personal life was a shit show. and uno what happened? I fucking aced this year. I had good friends willing and wanting to support me thru everything. I got out of the relationship and I'm onto brighter things than my ex could ever hope to achieve in their life. I had ppl believe me and help me get thru that abuse. I rose up and helped people, put on so many events, became a pride of *** award winner. my lecturers n peer tutors ended up sending me emails, letters and certificates of congratulations for what I had achieved this year. I'm the president of my society , despite what my ex said about it. I passed all my exams. I have a new found respect for myself that is unreal. I knew I was hot before my ex came into the picture but when I was with them they tore me down so badly. I never felt anything but ugly around them. but the way ppl treat me these days? I had 3 different girls tell me they had a crush on me this year. on top of that, 2 close friends show interest as well. I have regular sex (or did before lockdown ehe), ppl regularly complimenting me, friends who love me, a strong future at the uni.

like 3rd year was wild but holy shit am I a fucking phoenix or what

[seijch]

send me selfship questions!!

for @raevaioli because i wrote too much the first time and didnt have space to answer everything else 🧍🏻‍♂️

(there’s a lot of shit under the cut NDJKDKS be Warned)

1. where was your first date?

well, youve already heard about the first date that we realized was indeed A Date with futakuchi, but my first Proper Date with him would have to be somewhere like an arcade where we can have fun but still talk?? personally movie (theater) dates aren’t good first dates bc you Have to stay silent until the movie is over?? what’s the APPEAL...

there’s a shared exhale of relief as the large stuffed pokemon gets dropped by the crane into the pickup zone. “i can’t believe you pulled that off,” i tell him.

“you know, just for that, i’m keeping it.”

“you don’t even like pokemon! what happened to ‘this one’s for you, baby?’” i ask, voice dropping an octave to imitate him.

“i never said that, first of all. second of all,” he continues, grip tightening on the rowlet, “i won it. so it’s mine.”

“you fucking suck.”

(he says all this, yet when he drops me off, he insists i take the rowlet with me and name it after him. i graciously oblige, dubbing it coochie jr.)

when it comes to kuroo, he probably Says it’s some kind of unplanned affair but it ends with him unloading a picnic basket as we watch the sun set bc he’s a SAP... hate that fool 😔

“you’ve got good taste in music,” i tell him as the next song on his playlist begins. he’s definitely planning something, but i don’t say anything as his driving becomes less aimless.

“oh, i know,” he grins. “good enough for you to ask me for recommendations, i’d say.”

i’m crossing my arms before his sentence gets to finish. “listen,” i start, “you can’t tell me it didn’t work. we’re together now, aren’t we?” he doesn’t choose to grace that with a response.

before we know it, kuroo’s parked the car. “we’re here.”

“here? at the park? what are you gonna do, hold my hand while we watch the sunset?” i tease, getting out of the car. he doesn’t respond. “tetsu?”

“you really think you know me, don’t you?” he appears from the other side, picnic basket in hand and a resigned smile on his face. “what do you suggest we do now that my surprise has been torn to shreds, hm?”

“i mean...can we still eat? i’m kinda hungry.” i point to the basket. (i’m clearly deflecting ,, i was Not expecting kuroo the simp to jump out so early and my heart Cannot Take It)

2. who normally plans the dates?

between me and futakuchi i’m going to say none of us! we don’t really go on Dates dates, it’s just Us Hanging Out !! with kuroo, at first it’s him tbh but after we get comfortable everything becomes a date... idk tbh i’m not the type to sweat that kind of thing 🕺🏻 i do like to Go Out and do things w my s/o no matter who they are but a date doesn’t always have to be going out nor does it have to be a Special going out yk??

3. what kind of dates would you two mostly go on? do you have a “date spot?”

i mentioned this in my answer for 24, but w kuchi we have this ritual of going out to eat every friday and after we get together that doesn’t change!!! if we’re feeling extra lazy we might order takeout but we always always spend our friday nights together... it’s def smth we look forward to even Before we start dating (and it’s smth we both wonder Why we anticipate before we get tgt)

in terms of a date spot? we have our favorite places (like the ramen joint i mentioned in 24) but other than that maybe a few other restaurants and that’s kinda it! our other dates are the occasional study date but i cannot study when he’s around,, just looking at his face pisses me off 😃 nah but we can’t focus on school together + we’d get heated over a meaningless argument and get kicked out NDNSJSJ

when we get domestic w each other (like in uni or beyond) kuroo and i have all our dates at the grocery store... idk abt you but the INTIMACY of buying groceries w someone you love is so [clenches fist] yk?? but before and sometimes after that point rlly it’s like Things To See and Things To Do whenever kuroo puts himself in charge of planning it bc he knows we both like to be engaged and have fun!! (i alr said it but our date spot is the grocery store <3)

4. what kind of date do you think the both of you would enjoy the most? why?

that’s a very good question... i mentioned it alr but kuroo and i vibe heavy w things that are engaging and give us things to talk about while we keep busy,, like maybe an amusement park or smth w all the rides (we’re definitely spinning the shit out of the teacups) mostly bc i think he likes being kept on his toes and i do too! i think we’d challenge each other to do better by setting an example for the other to follow just in general,, also ngl places w a lot of ppl are good too so we can peoplewatch,, the two of us are the type to read people with a glance and when we need downtime we’d sit down somewhere and just kinda . 👁👁 yk

“i might barf,” i announce, gait crooked from the dizzying ride.

“no, you won’t,” kuroo replies, allowing me to drape myself over him though he’s not walking straight either. “didn’t you hear? vomitting is banned in this country and thirteen others.”

“a shame. anyway, let’s go on the pirate ship ride next.”

(we sit at the outer edge. it’s not a good time for the folks in the two seats in front of us. we wipe our vomit—mostly my vomit—from the corners of our mouths and apologize profusely.)

when it comes to kuchi, i think he’d like smth where we would end up competing against each other! i mentioned this when i answered question 50, but kenji and i are almost TOO competitive over stupid shit so smth like laser tag (where everyone is like ... why don’t you want to work together aren’t you DATING) would be SO fucking fun

“it’s not too late to surrender,” he simpers, my body sandwiched between his and the wall. my gun’s been knocked out of my hand—that’s gotta be against the fucking rules—and part of me feels like i’m on a real battlefield, as fleeting the thought is. “some battles, you just can’t win.” he punctuates this statement with a sage nod, leaning so close his breath fans against my face. “so, what’ll it be?”

i close the gap, pressing my lips against his and relishing in the strangled groan that comes from the back of his throat as he reciprocates, free hand moving to the nape of my neck. the hand holding the gun drops. that’s all the opening i need.

i let him deepen the kiss, take his bottom lip between my teeth and gently tug as my hands reach for his gun while his brain is still between his legs.

aim. fire.

i’m the last one standing, and the lights turn on around us. “it’s always good to have goals,” i tell him, granting him a consolation peck to the lips. “but i suggest making them more realistic next time.”

9. what do you think your first impression of them would be?

now THIS is a question i knew the answer to going in bc my best friend (honestly she doesn’t get paid enough ,, or at all ,, for all the shit she has to put up w from me NDNSKSK) had to hear all abt my elaborate fantasies regarding these two but!!

my first impression of kuroo is 1) 😳😳 and more importantly, 2) I Want To Know What He’s About... bc he’s not the kind of person i’d get the full picture of w just one look and maybe a few words spoken? he’d pique my interest a LOT (and this is smth he shares w tsukishima, tho i don’t see myself in a long lasting relationship w him like i do w kuroo and kuchi!) and i’d end up worming my way into his life whether he likes it or not until i find out :-)

unlike kuroo i see kenji and go Wow. What An Asshole. ok no i don’t NDNSJSN i probably think he’s cute first THEN go what an asshole and there’s definitely a long period of time where we’re genuinely getting on each other’s nerves before it goes into the romantic relationship-adjacent dynamic you see in my answer to 24!

10. what do you think their first impression of you would be?

kuroo’s definitely curious. i don’t imagine him being unable to see thru me from the start but i prove myself to be Good Conversation so he’s fine (and ends up being more than fine) with me bothering him as much as i do. kenji probably sees me the way i think most people see me at first? very soft and sweet ,, and then he tries to rile me up, tries to test the waters and pretty quickly finds out that right under the nice girl is someone that won’t hesitate to mirror the shit he tries to dish out.

(again) 24. would you confess first or would they? how would it have gone?

i saw you said in the tags you wanted to see the kuroo one so here it is 🤝 i had all my fun writing kenji’s so this one is shorter than that but!!!

NDNSNSN anyway !!! with kuroo it’s kinda 50/50 bc i’m not shy when it comes to my feelings but at the same time i like to have the lowest chances possible for failure when it comes to things like this... but i simp SO heavy for him so lbr it’ll prob be me just bc i literally Cannot pretend that my intentions are platonic anymore and he’s not gonna do it first (later i find out he was trying to see how long he could go before one of us mentioned the elephant in the room)

(5:38 PM) me: anyway for the weekly song rec

(5:38 PM) me: khalid ft. john mayer - outta my head

(5:39 PM) me: specifically 1:16-1:25 :-)

the messages have sent before i can think twice or even consult anyone about it. there’s a beat of silence. then two. then three. i throw my phone down onto the bed as it bounces off the mattress and onto the carpet.

what the fuck!!!!!! bitch why did you do that!!!!!!!

there’s no taking it back now. he reads it ten minutes after it sends (not like anyone’s checking, that would be preposterous). the picture i took of him mid-sneeze two months ago lights up the screen, a facetime call from shithead 👺 bringing me to yet another crossroads. do i answer it and face the music (literally), or do i pretend to have been busy and act as though i didn’t just confess to one of my best friends through text and with music, of all things?

i pick up the call.

“i liked the song,” he says as soon as the call opens, “though i can’t help but wonder if there was a hidden meaning to it.”

“and if i told you there was?”

“well,” he replies, sounding a little out of breath (where is he?), “i’d tell you to open your door because i’m outside.”

true enough, when i race downstairs and open the door, he’s waiting for me. “and if i told you that was my way of asking you to be my boyfriend?”

“well, i think i’d want to ask if i could kiss you. assuming, of course, it was alright to do something like that so soon-“

he doesn’t finish his sentence. his lips are a little bit chapped, but pleasant nonetheless, and i tuck the newfound fact away in my file of things i know about kuroo tetsurou.

(for reference, the song lyrics for the part i mention are can you feel the tension / you’ve got my attention / i know we’re just friends but / i’d rather be together instead)

[espressogal]

https://detoxifying my brain

12:28 -- diary entry 

i havent done work in a while bc of the virus and classes becoming online so i finally sat down and wrote down all my assignments due and lectures coming up and read through the instructions and planned out how i’m gunna execute it and emailed my TA on areas i don’t understand so that at no point during this break will i have something due the next day and have anxiety bc idk where to start. also today started with a shit morning bc i went to work only to find out that my shift was cancelled and no one told me and so the cook made me a bacon and caramelized onion omelette and potatoes and i was happy after. also i made a soy latte. and then i took a bus home, got coffee for my dad otw, got yelled at by my parents later, and then isolated myself in my room. i’m rlly not taking shit from anyone today tbh. i also turned off my phone which rlly helps me get shit done. oh and we got groceries yesterday and i saw this recipe on tik tok where they boiled almond milk with natural oats and frozen fruits and i wanted to try that ever since bc it sounds so good so i got all the ingredients except soy instead of almond bc almond milk tastes like cardboard to me. ask me why i’m so obsessed with vegan food (tofu, chick peas, lentils, soy milk) when i’m not even vegan. like i used to hate the idea of being vegan but the food is actually bomb but at the same time i need meat once in a while so i can never fully convert. alsooo i took a myers briggs test today and got infp again which is kinda crazy bc sometime last year i was an enfp?? i think or an enfj but the year before i was an infp so clearly i went thru some identity crisis last year which is usually what happens during my first year of high school / uni like i just become so social and outgoing and then after that i stop giving a shit and just chill with a small group of friends, which btw have been pissing me off and i feel like i rlly dont have any real friends anymore. i did put my pride aside and reach out to some old friends including one that i ended on bad terms with and it was really nice tbh. i find it so hard to like people and idk why. i just feel like i’m meant to be alone in life. that way i wont bother anyone and no one will bother me. but ill have occasional interactions with people every now and then. i have absolutely no problem with being a cat lady and living alone (not lonely though). i feel so much peace when i’m by myself. idk why people hear that and feel bad for me like wow thats so terrible and depressing that you want to be alone all the time like no its not???? its not depressing at all actually and i feel like more ppl need to normalize that concept that being introverted does not equal being lonely and shy. and ppl need to stop trying to teach ppl how to be extroverted. why is that even a thing?? moreover why do people always confuse introversion with shyness and extroversion with being outgoing?? those are completely different things and it would be more understandable why you’d wana help a shy person become more outgoing but thats only because shy people often want a change but u cant take a person who genuinely and (in recent studies show) physiologically prefer being alone and just Make them enjoy parties and social events like u just cant do it. trust me i’ve tried. it all depends on the company and the scenario. going drinking with some close friends wearing pj’s sound soo much more fun that wearing a short dress and drinking at a club. also the weathers been so beautiful lately and i’m so fucking mad at this stupid virus like can u fuck off already. i rlly wanna go out and take walks and ride the train and go to downtown and explore the city by myself ugh. i wanna finish the secret history like i deadass have been reading that shit for a year omfg. i need to clean my room, do my laundry, and then try to get some work done?? then after that i’ll have the night to myself and maybe i can try to read then who knows ok bye 

[into-control]

ok kind of a tricky q but pls answer: I met this one girl years ago when i was in 8th grade (when i lit rally had no idea i was gay) and we were kinda friends bc we had a lot of interests in common but it was rlly short and i didn't have a phone back then so we just never saw each other again UNTIL last year in 11th grade when i changed my school and guess what? She's in the same school! we did talk a little but she was in 12th grade getting ready for uni and stuff and i had like problems in>>>

that class (i was bullied and got v depressed lol) so i couldn't keep up w her but she'd always text me here and there (i think she didnt wanna psuh it too hard?) one time i had a really "depressive" profile photo and she literally texted me saying "i think ur perfect to me" sdadsadsmaads but im trash so i would leave her on read all the time barely texted her even kind of avoided her bc idk i was just going thru it didn't wanna talk to anyone so.... And she invited me to her graduation i>>>

said i'd go but i didn't lol(i know i know I'm trash®) and now months later she texts me again?? all this time ive literally been a sewer rat to her and she's always cared abt me, tried to talk to me,making jokes etc. And I kind of realized that maybe she had feelings for me??? and if she doesn't then like why all this effort... She's legit in college now in another city and she always had lots of friends in hs too why is she even still paying attention to me lol? what do u think

———

i think she might like you...... that or she just really really really really misses you 🗿

[joshvvashington]

6, 12, 19, 26, 32 & 35 =)

sorry in advance bc i lost grasp of my vocabulary partway thru this i think! its very late n i should b sleeping but!

6: favorite manager?

- zelina is SO good...... and like... ill fistfight paul in the parking lot but hes rlly just Good at talking huh

12: favorite catch phrase?

- the first one that comes to mind is Can You Smell What The Rock Is Cookin. but im soft & predictable so i gotta say im fond of the varying degrees of Bastardousness can go into And That Boys And Girls Is Undisputed, esp w the addition of over the top laughter afterwards

19: how did you get into watching wrestling?

- ah! when i was in high school my sister lived in an apartment abt two blocks from school so sometimes id sleep there overnight if i had to stay super late for theatre or be On Time for smth the next day, but one time her friend brought over a wrestlemania anthology boxset thing & i watched wm3 with them, got invested, ended up watching Half the box over the next day or so. kinda forgot abt it for abt a year til i picked up nxt in late 2014 from some guy that lived in my dorm hall the first year i was at uni, then ended up starting to watch the main roster once in a while over the next year when i moved back home & lost access to nxt bc i didnt know how to find streams then but didnt get Attached til sami got called up

26: if you were a Superstar or Diva what would your ring name be?

- something....... Stupid. just like. real shitty national lampoon yearbook names. some kinda terrible wordplay nonsense i cant think of rn 😔

32: favorite feud past or present?

- steen vs generico/sami vs kevin in all forms. adam vs kyle. ue vs sanity (we should still let nikki kill adam). bayley vs sasha SPECIFICALLY in nxt. aleister vs velveteen Slapped. OH sami & neville over the nxt title 😌

35: if you made a sign for one of the wrestlers what would it say?

- me making a st louis blues #90 ryan o'reilly sign and appearing shocked when its not hockey im seeing

[the-casbah-way]

im rlly rlly fuckin sad abt hers like,,,,they were so young n so happy and just so talented n i think they were rlly underrated too but they always got reviews saying they were gonna get big some day and i definitely think that would have come tru if theyd had the chance and their music got me thru the first few weeks of uni that were just fkn awful and its so weird lookin thru their insta and knowing theyre gone i lov them so much 

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.