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i just need to be here. then everything will be good again
♡.
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i give up ❤️
#800 things to do for uni#term ends in a month#still really dislike my parents right now#i dont know who my mom is anymore#like thats my mom bro#the sun sets at 4pm#i have no appetite#can’t focus on anything for more than 15 minutes#my social skills are deteriorating bc i don’t leave the house#im emotionally and mentally stressed#and the stress is taking its toll on my body#im anxious for mostly no reason at all#seunghan going solo(?!!/&/$)#if mike tyson loses im gonna kms#i have no one to see wicked with#cause i don’t have any friends who truly know me or get me or like the same things as i do#no friends no bitches no job no strong familial relationships no motivation no money no nothing#-100292929 aura in all areas of life
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that crushing feeling of realizing you have no talents no original ideas you’re not good at anything really and you basically have nothing to offer the world
#yooo who wrote that.#no but like. i really am trying to solidify the idea that my value doesn’t need to come from how good i am at things.#or what certain skills i have. but also#it kinda is really like that… like that’s the world we live in#and it doesn’t even matter what other people think anymore like. it just comes down to me#IM unsatisfied with myself#im boring and im not that smart im not exceptionally good at anything (I WANNA BE!! But also not?) im not that funny or Cool#i dress boring im awkward i have 0 flavour there’s nothing remotely interesting about me at all.#oh but!!!! no like you don’t get it#i don’t even have like. interesting hobbies#im just so. mundane and part of me really really hates that and it scares me also because#how much of that is truly who i am and how much of it is just being#20 years old … Lol#like shoot i really have nothing to offer ❤️#this too shall pass hopefully#Whatever#♡ dear diary…#queued 🦋
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late night reminder to self: your depressive episode will not last forever. it will have an end. tonight will not be the end of you.
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oh !!! can I be carried again ? can we share fruit again ? can we make friends with the bugs again ? will you watch me smell the flowers ? will you wash my face again ? could you kiss me til sunrise ? can I share my food with you ? can I share my deepest secrets one more time ? can we make another promise ? could we watch the moon ? can I watch you ? will you watch me while I sleep ? can I dream a little longer ? can we stay spinning in this sparkling light forever ?
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i’m in love with drew starkey again
#she says again as if she fell out of love with him#… it just like … resurfaced#in my starkey phase for the nth time#queued 🦋
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i don’t think i’ve ever seen sunghoon so happy during a fancall i’m melting
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i love animals so much i love them i love them i love them and i love nature i love the forest and the ocean and the desert (my home) and the mountains and the plains and i love the earth huge fan of the earth shoutout earth ❤️
#crying at 1:48pm#never kill yourself when all of this exists and is real 💔#one thing abt the earth is she will always comfort me when nobody else can#love you Earth im so sorry we’re assholes#fucked up so bad by not picking ecology / conservation or environmental science to study at uni#💔💔 in mourning#♡ dear diary…
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and when i rent a monster truck to run over a crowd of trump supporters with the windows rolled down and this blasting through the speakers. then what
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