#and fighting to justify eating anything
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I have so much to do and so little energy for any of it
#cannot wait until i can set up grocery deliveries#bc just the act of a small weekly grocery shop wipes me out for the rest of the day#i still have so much to do but all i want to do is shower and eat and sleep#and on top of the exhaustion i feel so shitty rn bc every. single. ad. i've had on instagram for the past week#has been for weight loss products diet plans diet apps etc.#and i was doing okay brushing it off but it finally hit me hard today so now i'm in for a period of despising the very fact i have a body#and fighting to justify eating anything#personal#vent
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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my mother will see textbook depression and then decide it just pisses her off
#it's not an excuse to not do things but can i please just get a little grace and understanding#like..... funnily enough. make me feel like shit for struggling and i will struggle more.#and i already hate myself for not being able to do jack shit when there's no fucking reason for it#i just. i don't know why just existing is so hard for me when there's nothing to justify it#am i just fucking lazy in my core or am i broken#there was One (1) thing i was able to muster up enough drive to do and then a few comments completely fucking destroyed it#there are so many things i should be able to do and i just can't force myself to do it bc i can't find the energy#and so i just keep perpetually distracting myself from ever experiencing a Thought but that doesn't fucking help#and i don't know how to stop#everyone around me is doing so fucking well no matter what and i've had a fucking fraction of the hardship and yet i'm a WRECK#and it's so easy for me to think 'well i'll Just Do It! I'll stop crying about it and I'll just do it' but that lasts for about a day#before i burn out completely and i DON'T GET IT#IT'S JUST EXISTING AS A FUCKING HUMAN BEING WHY IS IT SO HARD#WHY CAN I NOT EVEN PUT IN THE EFFORT TO SURVIVE LET ALONE LIVE#WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN DO ACTUALLY HARD SHIT SO WELL#while i'm here just fucking. scraping by and feeling like i'm fighting for my life when i'm literally not even doing ANYTHING#it just feels so fucking hard but it's NOT i'm not doing ANYTHIJG AT ALL SO WHY DO I FEEL BURNT OUT#HOW CAN I BE BURNT OUT WHEN I NEVER DO ANYTHING#HOW DO I GET THIS FEELING TO STOP#and i don't even have a right to complain because just! there's nothing hard about my life right now!#emotionally speaking there's one major thing i'm dealing with. practically speaking there's nothing#so why can i not even do basic everyday tasks. if even surviving feels like too much how the fuck am i ever supposed to do more#i'm so beyond disgusted with myself for it and i just.#i don't fucking deserve to live.#the one and only thing i'm able to push myself to do is my driving lessons#literally the only thing. other than that i can eat. sometimes. that's it#i'm a fucking disgrace and i'm aware of it and i don't deserve to live or to complain. but how do i change that.#i'm able to push myself to shower occasionally. i can eat at least one meal per day. i do an hour long driving lesson once a week#and if that's too much what the fuck is wrong with me.
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Actually I'm not done talking about yoohankim's awful digital footprint pre-scenarios. Kim Dokja gets a lot of flack for being chronically online and cringe and that's fair enough but let's just acknowledge that neither Yoo Joonghyuk or Han Sooyoung are ANY better.
For Han Sooyoung it's obvious. Despite having her own sucessful webnovel, presumably with fans who support her, she gets obsessed with her one hater who thinks she is a plagiarist, finds the "original" novel where this guy was the only commenter on every chapter, and instead of reading her own comments she spends her time reading HIS and imagining he's saying that about her writing. She does this for years. DERANGED BEHAVIOUR. Pre-scenarios Han Sooyoung has no excuse to be acting this crazy. Sent to internet jail for being weird online.
1863rd Han Sooyoung. Automatically get a pass to act unhinged bc after going through the apocalypse that's just expected and also the only person she talks to for 13 years is Kim Dokja and a creepy old man who calls her god, BUT. That being said she's a perfectly average and healthy internet user! Spends literally every waking moment writing a shitty webnovel so hard pieces of her soul chip away and infuse in it, sure, but she doesn't bother anyone, just does her own thing, posts the chapters and occasionally chats with her one commenter. The most normal one here. Somehow.
Kim Dokja. Big fan of a webnovel and can get intense about it sometimes, starts fights online defending his fave character, recommends the same novel so much he gets banned from forums, whatever. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE IS WHAT IM SAYING. This is nothing too crazy, only about the level of an average fandom superfan. Uses his real name online which is certainly a choice but some people do that in real life too. Giving him a pass, I was also a cringey emo teen on the internet once. (and im still cringe and emo)
Yoo Joonghyuk as seen in Yoo Mia side story. Absolutely glued to his phone. He checks it while eating breakfast, while in the car being driven to work, while literally walking down the street so that Yoo Mia has to tell him to put it away and hold her hand! He is basically addicted to reading hate comments about himself. In his narration he mentions that there are only a few regulars in the forums he lurks in and that he recognizes all their usernames, accidentally revealing that he's in too deep and officially lost in the sauce. Even his manager tells him he should stop reading the comments because they clearly upset him, but he justifies it to himself by thinking quote, "If someone has a grudge against him, he just needs to be prepared to face that hatred. Then everything is under his control." That last line especially is such a cope, and reveals that this behavior is another one of his desperate attempts to feel in control of his life, and as pathetic as that is and as much as I feel sympathy this is being weird online and I'm sending him to Internet jail.
Bonus round: Secretive Plotter. Need I say anything. Absolutely glued to his phone AGAIN, no it doesn't make it better that sometimes it's his kkomas instead of him. Canonically has a bound book of every single comment Kim Dokja ever left on WOS, printed out, which is more freak mode than even Han Sooyoung went. Straight to jail.
#jesus this got long. now if only i could write fic this smoothly#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#han sooyoung#yoo joonghyuk#secretive plotter#orv spoilers#yoo mia side story#my posts
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TITLE: Play Fight
PAIRINGS: Hyunjin x Jisung x f!reader
SUMMARY: Hyunjin and Jisung remain stumped at what unfolded during a game of dirty truth or dare with you. There's no going back from it. No ignoring the obvious layout of what naturally happens next between the three of you under one roof where Jisung's needs get the better of him and Hyunjin's dream becomes a reality. A continuation of Play Bite.
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSWF SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.
TAGS: smut, hints of voyeurism/exhibitionism, swearing, oral sex (f!receiving and giving), unprotected sex, messy sex, dirty talk, porn w/plot, making out, nipple play, hints of oral fixations, begging, orgasms, deepthroating, very vague hint of cum eating, creampie, reader says 'stop' but doesn't mean it in a way where she wants to stop having sex or isn't enjoying it (she says it out of the overwhelming sensation from needing to orgasm).
🏷️LIST - @leftkittenface @twinklix @meilix @weareapackofstrays @elizalabs3 @goblin-waifu @imnotjjini0325 @livzsposts @dawn-iscozy @princejisung @itsthatbri @20minsat180degrees @groovygroovyhyunjin @stayconnecteed @chillichillicrabcrab23 @valibals @oiikaro @galamxy (I also added people who were interested in part 2 just in case)
MASTERLIST - Play Bite (First Part)
A/N: this is just pure, filthy smut. I’m hoping I tagged everyone! Thank you all for waiting patiently! 🩷 This has been checked over a couple of times but I’ll check over it once more in the morning for any mistakes etc! x
The blood running through Jisung's body had frozen over. Stiff with shock, his eyes are still glued to the screen of your phone - at the message his best friend just sent through to you. As a result, a million and one questions fire around Jisung's brain in such a short amount of time.
The first and most important thing was deciphering whether you and Chan were together. In his mind, there was no way. No way. Chan had recently come out of a long-term relationship and even said so himself the other week that he wasn't looking for another one any time soon. That he has zero plans to dive back into the dating scene for a long time.
Not to mention, you wouldn’t do anything as terrible as cheating. Jisung trusts that and his friends wholeheartedly.
That seemed to be his only saving grace from wanting to justify his next actions, or at least Hyunjin's, because as soon as Jisung managed to peel his eyes from the screen, he catches full sight of his two friends, lip locked.
You were still in between Hyunjin's legs, slightly twisted around in order to reach his mouth whereas he leans down just a bit to help. His hands were dangerously close to the waistband of your underwear - your underwear which had been soaked through after getting yourself off in front of them minutes ago.
Jisung still couldn't believe he witnessed that, nor what he's witnessing right now.
It was clear that the game of truth or dare had been derailed and preoccupied by a more pressing matter. As Jisung listens to the wet sounds of your mouths moving, he feels the familiar, aching throb in his pants. A reminder that he's still hard and has been for a while.
It only gets worse for him when he watches Hyunjin eventually slide down the front of your damp underwear, feeling how warm and slick you are. It doesn't take long for his fingers to lather up nicely and ease over your sensitive clit.
This is his dream unfolding.
The way you silently plead for Hyunjin to fuck you with his long fingers by opening your legs is hampered when Jisung inches closer to the pair of you. This time in between your bent legs. Hyunjin regrettably peers up and away from you for a second, the pads of his fingers still rubbing delicate barely-there circles over your clit.
"I wanna taste you," he says, leaning forward and closer, his doe eyes gazing pleadingly.
Hyunjin removes his hand from your pussy and holds his slender, glossy fingers up to his friend's mouth. Your cum is glazed over his digits, sticky thin strings that connect his middle and ring fingers, gleaming desirably for Jisung who shuffles forward eagerly to take them in his mouth, suckling and licking everything he’s being offered.
But it's not enough for him.
"So good," Jisung murmurs as if he's under the influence after Hyunjin retracts his fingers. "But I need more than that. Let me taste that pretty pussy of yours.”
You cower half of your face into Hyunjin's chest with embarrassment, trying to hide the flush of red his comment brings out in your cheeks. He uses his other hand to gently tuck some of your hair behind your ear.
“Alright,” you give an affirming nod to Jisung who inflates with joy on the inside.
He leans forward once more, this time to kiss you; slowly yet heated and needy for each other. There's an equal division of lust between you and him the moment his lips connect with yours.
As he breaks away from you, his eyes lock with Hyunjin for a few lingering moments before the pair of them share yet another kiss. Neither of them cared too much about it or what it was going to mean afterwards. All they knew is that they liked it and would have no trouble doing it again.
“You’ll get your turn,” Jisung teases, licking once over Hyunjin’s plush lips. “Maybe.”
Hyunjin scowls at him, but with that in hand, Jisung finds the band of your underwear, slowly pulling them down your thighs, all the way down to your ankles, and off. The wet mess you left for them has Jisung salivating like some rabid dog. He lowers himself onto his elbows where his hot breath washes over your inner thighs. He hasn’t started and already has you pressing back further into Hyunjin, further into his crotch where he needs you the most.
That first point of contact makes your skin tingle. He presses chaste kisses into your skin. To truly bury his mouth into your pussy, Jisung snakes his hands around your thighs, gripping lovingly into your flesh. It helps anchor him and you more importantly. You squirm and quiver, legs trembling as he begins to kitten lick over your clit, using it to wet you up even more.
Your eyelids flutter closed, focusing on the sensation, “y-yes…feels…”
“How does it feel?” Hyunjin begs the question for you.
It feels like nothing else you’ve ever felt before. There have been a couple of times where a man will give you good head, but not like this. Jisung knows what he’s doing. He’s taking advantage of your over sensitive pussy, switching up his tongue game by sucking and flicking to keep you just above the edge. His skills have you gripping onto Hyunjin’s thighs that still cage around your body.
“Good, feels good,” you swallow, feeling and listening to the way Jisung has come to lap everything up in between your legs.
Hyunjin reckons he can make you feel better too and decides to use his hands to slide underneath your shirt. He gently supports your back with one hand while Jisung continues to eat you out. The other hand unclasps your bra, giving Hyunjin free access to grope your tits under your shirt once it’s removed. By then, you’re able to lean back into his body and continue to melt from the sensations.
Strained mewls and moans tear up your throat when Hyunjin uses his index fingers and thumbs to pinch roll your nipples. He savours the pathetic whimpers you make when he starts rolling them too. You struggle helplessly against him, pressing your chest up only for him to pinch them just a little bit harder. It’s like you wanted him to stop, but you also needed him to keep going.
“Hyun…jin, s’too much, can’t-“
He finds himself nuzzling against your face, kissing your cheek here and there as an attempt to touch you as much as he can. He lingers on the fact that you’re barely able to speak in full sentences which does something to his brain. Like he and Jisung have reduced your mind and body to a point where it only knows and seeks pleasure. There’s no room for you to be able to speak when words can’t even describe what you’re feeling.
“Can’t what baby?” He asks. “I’m sure you can take it.”
Jisung’s mouth throws your mind off of answering Hyunjin, right when he starts flicking his tongue right over the heavily stimulated bud of nerves. Your thighs firmly clamp around Jisung’s head, trembling from its effect that Hyunjin can even feel you quiver from behind.
Turns out his best friend is good with his mouth. Hyunjin couldn’t help but wonder what other use it has.
“Cumming, please I need to cum,” you beg desperately.
One of your hands makes it through Jisung’s dark hair, something to hold onto to brace yourself for that intense round of pleasure. The assault from his tongue leaves you no choice but to tug and pull on his hair until Jisung himself starts moaning into your pussy from the pain - good, inviting pain.
“Nobody’s stopping you baby. “Gonna cum for us? Again?” Hyunjin urges gently.
“Yes!” You whine pleadingly. “Mm, r-right there!”
The closer you are to the edge of your orgasm, your hips start to make subtle upward movements. Almost like you’re trying to ride his face, which Jisung welcomes, would invite actually. It’s what he wants anyway - for you to use his face until you cum all over it.
“Don’t stop…please don’t stop, fuck!” You plead hysterically.
The pressure has you feeling like you’re about to explode into bits. Your thighs continue to squeeze unapologetically around Jisung’s head, fearing for a second that you might crush him. Meanwhile, Hyunjin’s fingers and thumbs roll and tug on your nipples. The sensations easily sweep over you, compelling deep moans and small yet shaky screams from your throat as you cum loudly.
“Good girl,” Hyunjin exalts you with praise. “Sound so pretty…”
Jisung could’ve kept going had your body not wanted to completely give way. But he does slow down his pace for you to finally linger in what was one of the best orgasms you’ve had from getting head. It makes you melt into Hyunjin’s front, your muscles twitching yet relaxed at its best.
“Christ…” you swallow, breathing heavily in big pockets of air. “Jisung.”
The man finally pops his head back up, a sight for you to absorb with the way his mouth is covered in your juices. The humiliation settles under your skin when you see the mess you’ve made on his face. As if he could care any less, not with the content grin he’s wearing.
When you start descending from your high, it dawns upon you that you’ve had a total of two orgasms so far and not once have you returned the favour to Hyunjin and Jisung. Particularly Hyunjin, who hasn’t had much of your body in comparison to Jisung. He’s been sitting behind you patiently, taking all of the brunt force you made while his friend was going down on you.
Amid the orgasmic haze in your brain, you push past it as best you can to speak, “condoms.”
Jisung nods mindlessly, trying to get the image of you looking so fucked out, out of his head. However, he snaps out of his daze and springs to his feet. He flounders around, thinking that if he doesn’t hurry up and find them, you’re both going to leave.
As Jisung is preoccupied, it gives you an opportunity to sit and turn around and face Hyunjin for the first time in half an hour.
“Lay back,” you mumble to him.
“Hm?”
He tilts his head innocently that it makes you wonder if he’s just pretending or genuinely too dumbfounded with what you’re about to do. You shuffle forward, in between his legs still and kiss him gently. His parted mouth is so plump and supple that it makes you bite down on his lower lip and tug, forcing a tiny whimper out of him.
“Condoms. Okay. Hyunjin, where are your condoms?” Jisung circles back to ask, checking the coffee table, the fruit bowl, even dipping into Hyunjin’s room and tearing open the drawers to his bedside table to check.
After coming up short, he returns to the lounge to see your mouth around Hyunjin’s cock, drawing long, deep, and slow strokes. He swallows hard, watching for a few moments too long until he pulls himself out his daze.
“Hyunjin,” Jisung calls out again.
Hyunjin’s eyes roll back when you sink your entire mouth down onto his length as he grips the rug beneath him, “d-don’t have any here.”
“Shit,” he groans and strides over to the bench where he left his wallet when he first walked in.
Amongst his cards and loose change where he would also keep a few condoms for occasions like this, were unfortunately not there. Out of all the instances where he’s had spontaneous sex, this is the only time he wishes he really had them on hand.
“I haven’t got any either-” he frowns but all he gets is a strained, echoed whimper when you deepthroat Hyunjin’s length. “Fuck…”
Visibly spaced out for a moment, Jisung starts acting a bit like Bambi when he wants to start walking; struggling to put one foot in front of the other as he makes his way back over to you both. From this angle, he’s able to see Hyunjin in a different light. His wavy brown hair covering most parts of his face, knuckles now another shade of morbid white as he nearly shreds the carpet beneath him with his nails.
Jisung thought he looked good - fuckable. But he excuses that thought for the time being.
“Y/N, please…fuck, not…not gonna last if y’keep doing that,” Hyunjin barely manages to get his words out, having to fight them every single time you swirl your tongue around his leaking tip. “I-I’ll cum, fuck.”
For a moment, you pull back from his cock, replacing it with your hand instead to keep up the pleasure you initiated. His body contorts and writhes, the back of his head pressing painfully into the ground. He must be an easily over-stimulated type.
“Fuck me then,” you say to him.
He blinks hazily, like he’s just waking up from a nap, “h-huh? But you - the-“
You were not going to listen to what he’ll start babbling about so this time, you fully abandon his dick and turn around to face Jisung who had been silently watching you both from behind. The obvious, rock hard tent in his pants was alluring. If you didn’t have other motives of getting him off first, you would be in his lap, grinding your wet pussy over his bulge.
From the way he’s been acting, you know he’d let you too.
Jisung gazes into your eyes like a snake that’s being charmed. He’s wondering what your next move is when your lips inch closer to his even though it’s easy to predict a kiss.
That being said, you arch your back, giving Hyunjin a not so discrete choice to fuck you. Presenting your wet hole to him as an invitation. It was a devious move but nothing in comparison to the grand scene of things. That being you and two of your best friends touching each other in ways that friends don’t normally touch.
It isn’t ‘friend behaviour’ if you reach down into Jisung’s lap and palm his hard, neglected cock through the strains of his pants. It’s not ‘friend behaviour’ if Hyunjin moves himself closer to you so that he can delicately graze the pads of his fingers over your dripping slit. Friends don’t do this, yet, as friends, none of you could care less.
All that mattered was sex and to be touched. To be relieved of the delicious pressure that you want to keep just so that the feeling of ‘cumming’ lasts forever. But, you all know that you can’t have too much of a good thing. You can’t get greedy when Hyunjin rises to his knees, stroking his cock a couple of times in hand. Or when he starts slicking up his length in between your wet folds and slowly pushing in.
“S-Shit,” you gasp, causing your hand to stall over Jisung’s dick right as you were about to free him from his pants.
His cock starts filling you up little by little. Hyunjin presses in a few centimetres then pulls back out. He does that until your pussy swallows up his entire dick nice and snug, reaching the base of it. With the amount of prep you’ve had so far, it made the process all the more easier to take the amount of inches Hyunjin packs.
From what you can feel inside you and what you’re palming beneath your hand, it was simple to conclude that Jisung and Hyunjin were relatively similar in size. When you pull the waistbands of Jisung’s pants and underwear down, you were right in your assumption. Beads of pre cum had been leaking pitifully from his angry red tip and down his shaft, most of which were soaked up by the fabric of his clothes.
“Fuck baby,” Jisung whines, sucking in long draws of breaths when your hand wraps around him and slowly tugs. “So good…so hot.”
A small, tired smile spreads on your face, but his compliment does not distract you from the fact that Hyunjin has begun to thrust slowly, along with applying a soft grip on your hips. With that, you lower your mouth down onto the tip of Jisung’s cock. He hisses and grits his teeth, the sensitivity he feels is already overwhelming.
Even more so when you start taking him as much as you can. Thankfully Hyunjin’s thrusts help you take more of him too, bucking forward from the force he starts putting in.
“Bet that…pussy feels just as good as your mouth,” Jisung says breathlessly, carding some of your hair out of the way. He bundles as much of it as he can for you, holding it in a subtle grip on top of your head.
"It does, like warm velvet”, Hyunjin says to himself in his head as a response to his friend's comment.
A hot, wet, and lush pocket that he has the privilege of fucking and not once did he ever fathom a possibility that is so real right now. He has to quickly snap out of his own head for a minute, distracted by that creamy ring around his cock being pushed back to the base of his cock when he slides his entire length in and out of you so fluidly. Taking him all the way.
It’s like you were made for him…
For a second, Hyunjin was convinced you could hear his thoughts as you decided to deepen the arch in your back. His cock now repeatedly hitting a delicious angle that makes your thighs involuntarily shake each time his tip connects with it. The shockwaves of pleasure start to surge and pool inside you, waiting to be released.
“Fuck…yes, baby,” Hyunjin mutters to himself, making the mistake of looking down at where his cock is vanishing in and out of. “Taking us so fucking well.”
You moan around Jisung’s length at the praise, prying more strained whines and cries from him that fills Hyunjin’s ears. It has so much effect on him that he has to look up and see for himself. Jisung looks and is fucked out, like he’s already on the verge of cumming which is a given considering that you’re taking all of him like a champ. The wet sounds your mouth makes as it glides up and down Jisung’s cock sounds just as good as it feels.
Every now and then you suck on his tip when you need to come up for some air, still making sure he has some contact before you mercilessly sink back down again. Once Jisung started rutting slightly into your mouth, tightening the grip he has on your hair, and his loud, quick paced breathing from above, you knew. You knew he wanted to cum.
“Close, fuck I’m so close,” he swallows, biting down on his bottom lip as you bob your head up and down. “Gonna cum Y/N…gonna make me cum.”
Hyunjin observes attentively from behind. Watching in the moments leading up to Jisung’s orgasm, the way he keels forwards, crying out in a series of loud moans as you continue to bring him to the edge, “yes, yes, yes, fuck yes!”
You feel his cock twitch in your mouth, his cum spurting out rhythmically and orgasming so hard that his body shivers over. Not once do you let up, even after his orgasm and even the fact that you have a hypothetical eye on your own which Hyunjin has been curating for you. The pressure has been built so high that it’s hard not to feel like you’re about to explode. Similar to the way you could tell Jisung was about to cum, Hyunjin could easily tell when you were.
You had gotten noisier, even with a dick in your mouth that barred you from using any words, it was obvious the way you were feeling. Your plush walls were starting to tighten themselves cosily around Hyunjin, gripping onto him so that he wouldn’t leave.
As you finally peel back from Jisung’s cock, a long line of spit connects you and his length, mixed with his warm cum. But in a matter of seconds, you’re already there too. You pull back entirely, now a panting, gorgeously ruined mess who’s getting railed the way people can only dream of.
Something possesses Jisung to lean forward and kiss you sloppily, quickly evolving into some messy, wet makeout. He can taste himself in your mouth, exchanging the salty residue that invites him to linger on your lips a little longer, unbothered about the fact that you’re about to be swept over by an intense orgasm.
Only when you start breathing heavily and quickly, Jisung decides to pull away and witness the event unfold. He watches Hyunjin fuck you to your orgasm while his mind is tormented by the way that you look. How his cum mixed with your spit starts drooling out of your mouth when you start crying out from such concentrated pleasure. It feels like Hyunjin just pulled a pin to a bomb inside the pit of your stomach.
“Oh my god,” Hyunjin groans, pulling your body back and forth onto his cock by your hips. “So fucking close.”
“S-Stop - I…cumming, fuck, I’m cumming-” your words are cut short as pleasure shoots throughout your body, fingernails digging into the carpet.
Everything inside of you feels heightened and rocked with a euphoria so immeasurable that your entire body cannot do anything but still and take what Hyunjin gives you. His steady pace doesn’t waiver. Despite the fact that he’s seconds away from busting a warm load inside you, he’s capable of not switching things up drastically so that you get a steady flow of pleasure.
As your walls quiver and spasm around his cock, Hyunjin coats them in a hot thick white. His bruising grasp on your hips is the other outlet he has to mitigate such an intense orgasm. As for you, all you can do is absorb yours. To take his entire cock so greedily when you cum hard that your vision has gone all blotchy. You’re seeing cosmics of tiny glistening stars on Jisung who does nothing but watch out of desire to see you lose your mind so easily. To see you writhe and tear up from how strong the ecstasy is.
“Yes! Fuck, Hyunjin!” You scream out, moaning loudly around his apartment that both of them are sure his neighbours will hear.
But it’s not like he cares if he ever receives a future noise complaint. It’d be an honour to know that he fucked you so good that everyone in his complex could hear you. What a dream that would be; to make you feel good all the time. A very distant dream at that.
“That’s it,” Hyunjin sighs out when your body gives one final shudder, giving you some shallow thrusts to help ease you down. “Good girl.”
Hyunjin pulls out slowly with a hiss as a giddy feeling in his gut that makes his mind twist when he sees his cum mixed with your juices, leak from your hole. So captivated by it that he only starts to realise that you need to lie down. Your body does what it feels like and collapses steadily onto the carpet beside Jisung who lies back with you. It’s not long before Hyunjin follows suit and rests by your other side too.
The three of you then laze on the floor, sticky bodies meshed together for the time being as Hyunjin comes up to spoon you from behind and Jisung from the front. Minutes tick by as you all relax peacefully. You could’ve almost fallen asleep like this until Jisung, who was ‘just closing his eyes’, flashed them open and looked dead into your soul.
“Why’d you need a condom if you let him fuck you raw?” he asks out of nowhere, suddenly expecting a long and complicated reason from you. Despite the filthy things you guys just did, his question seemed so amusingly crass.
“Because I wanted you both to fuck me…at the same time,” you murmur tiredly yet so honestly. “Needed at least one for that.”
“Oh, r-right,” he stutters, then plays it cool. “Usually I carry them with me but-“
“You ran out?” You guess, cutting him off. “Whore.”
Jisung went to open his mouth to object your claim until Hyunjin reached over and covered it with his big hand, “shut up please.”
Hyunjin’s closes his eyes again but his brain now whirs with the thought of what could’ve been. Not that it mattered now. He enjoyed himself and he’s sure that you and Jisung did too who could not think of any words that come close to describing how he feels. His head was clear of thoughts - all except one. Chan. Or at least, what’s going on between you and Chan. Not that it was any of his business.
Nonetheless, he was interested but decided to keep it to himself for now. So while your eyes closed once more, Jisung turns around and reaches for your phone to unlock it before heading to the message he sent to Chan, and the one he received from him too. He checks it over one final time to be sure that what he read earlier was correct.
From Chan to You: Again? Still horny from this morning? Alright then, I can come over and give you what you need x
He still struggled to believe it. But, with that in mind, Jisung deletes the message and forgets that it ever happened knowing that the next time he sees the others, he’ll ask if they too know anything about what’s going on between you and Chan.
For the time being, he relishes in the afterglow of one of the best nights he’s had. To rest peacefully in the warmth and comfort of his two friends.
I strictly forbid and do not permit anyone or any user to copy, re-upload, translate, remake, or pass off any of my work here on Tumblr to any other social media platform whatsoever. Doing so will result in having your account suspended, deleted, taken down, and or permanently banned.
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A/N: 060124 - Play Right
#rosiewritesskz#stray kids smut#skz smut#han jisung smut#hyunjin smut#han jisung x reader#hyunjin x reader
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(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: burnt french toast
masterlist
extras!
• satoru gojo helping out his students to the higher ups in every universe
• public apology on main? oh bros down BAD
• cue the pining and yearning arc😍
• toge and panda were laughing at all the videos of megumi in the taco bell parking lot😭
• toge def retweeted his fav ones on main and then got told off by gojo LMFAO
• i feel like nobara has used that reaction image before but idgaf ITS TRUE AND REAL
• PLEASE TELL ME YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABT WITH THE SANTA EDITS
• santa im writing to you because i want a pink pony for christmas…
• maki saying butch is canon
• i know she runs mcdonald’s like it’s the navy🫡
• the hate for kit connor has me seething
• no i haven’t watched heartstopper and i don’t plan to
• maki & nobara ARENT as mad this time bc like they know yn won’t do anything stupid and plus ig it’s justified… i think?
• the guys actually…. bonding?
• tridant not fighting for once*NOT CLICKBAIT*
• is this the bromance we’ve all been waiting for?
• this truely is my she’s just a phase😍🫰
• shakes magic 8 ball the stars say sukuna wants me bad !!! come here baby i’ll eat ur burnt french toast💔
a/n: ok maybe i over exaggerated how bad it was gonna be just a tad bit… 🤗 i was gonna initially have a written part for yn and sukuna but it just felt WRONG lmfao like it lowkey sounded like the megumi one so no thank you !! :/ also i know the party girls gc is LONG but its much needed i think !! anyways sorry it’s late u guys know me i’m never on time w posting :3 happy sjap saturday !!
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#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk crack#jjk x reader#jjk smau#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk!smau#jjk fanfic#jjk twitter#jjk texts#jjk tweets#megumi smau#megumi x y/n#megumi fluff#megumi x you#jjk megumi#jujutsu megumi#megumi x reader#jujutsu kaisen megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk fushiguro#fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen fushiguro#fushiguro x you#sjap
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God Of War
Pairing: God of war! Mingi x fem! Reader
Summary: You get lost in a snowy winter night. Your horse spooked, and now you're on your own to find your way back home. Instead of your home, you find an old temple belonging to the God of war, Mingi. From now on, this would be your home.
Word count: 3.2k
Disclaimer: I'm in no way condoning, justifying, encouraging nor promoting this kind of behavior. This is not supposed to represent Mingi in any way.
Warning: Dub-Consent (Only touching, no smut.)
◇◇◇
The moon above you was round and full, casting its silver light down on you and your surroundings every time it peeked through a gap between dark clouds. The trees from the forest you were stumbling through were bare. Their branches were decorated by a thick layer of snow instead of green leaves.
You wrapped your bare arms tight around your body, trying to save some warmth, but it did almost nothing. The clothes on your body were a poor excuse of clothing articles and doing nothing to help your body in preserving your body heat. This would be easier if you had a horse, but your horse was the reason why you were in this situation in the first place. It had suddenly spooked at something, completely catching you off guard and threw you off. You could only watch as it bolted away into the cold night
You left deep footprints in the thick snow as you dragged your weakened body forward. Soon, those footprints would be filled up by the fresh snow that was silently falling from the dark sky. You could barely feel your limbs, and your fingers didn't move how you wanted them to. As you stumbled through the forest you longed to be at home where you could curl up in front of a fireplace, fill your stomach with something warm to eat, and finally fall asleep in your comfortable bed. You concentrated on the small misty cloud that formed every time you breathed out. You tried anything to get your mind off of the harsh cold.
Your body was weak, and your eyes began to get a bit droopy when you saw something in the distance, finally something else than snow and trees. A flicker of hope bloomed in your chest when you spotted the outline of a building between the thick forest flora. You wanted to run toward it, but the exhausted state your body was in simply didn't allow it. Your eyes were trained on the grey bricks. The closer you came, the more the building revealed itself to you. At first, you had thought that it was just a small ruin or an abandoned house, something you hoped would give you shelter, but what you found was much bigger than what you had expected. What you found was some sort of temple. A thick layer of snow covered the roof, and naked ivy veins climbed up every inch of the structures walls. The building would have been completely hidden away by the lush green had it been spring or summer.
Stepping into the building, you had to quickly realize that you wouldn't find much protection of the cold here. Time had clearly eaten away at the temple. Lots of cracks and gaps in the walls allowed the wind to howl through the building. At especially large gaps, snow started to pile up, and the ivy that had already covered the outside also partially found its way inside. You walked further inside, even if you were still cold, at least you were protected from the snow. You noticed that the walls were covered in paintings. A lot of the paint had peeled off and chipped away, but some of the artworks were still partially visible. It was mostly art related to war. Armies of men fighting the enemy force and illustrations of losses and victories.
If you weren't on the brink of passing out, you would have gladly taken your time to look at the ancient paintings, but your main concern was staying alive. You walked past an old altar, the stony surface was stained in a dark color. Old blood. A lot of sacrifices must have been made here in order to stain the stone permanently. Behind the altar stood the podium for a statue, but the statue itself was gone. You retreated into the far corner of the temple, snow couldn't reach you there, and the wind wasn't as strong.
You curled up on the ground, your legs were pulled close to your chest and your arms wrapped around them. As mucbas you fought against it, your eyelids still felt heavy, threatening to fall closed at any given moment. You knew you couldn't fall asleep, not if you wanted to keep fighting, but your mind started to play tricks on you. Maybe if you just rested your eyes for a moment, just to get some energy back, you wouldn't fall asleep. As soon as you closed your eyes, you could feel the impending sleep gnaw at you, and your exhausted body was just too happy to give in and slip into unconscious. Your last sleep, you thought.
The next time you were conscious again, you felt warm. Warm? You were confused as to why you felt warm because the last thing you remembered was passing out in that old temple. You kept your eyes closed. You were too exhausted to worry about why you weren't freezing anymore. With a sigh, you pressed yourself closer to the source of heat.
It wasn't until you heard a chuckle from above you that your eyes snapped open in an instant. You tilted your head to look up and were promptly met with the chocolate brown eyes of a handsome man. At first, you only stared at him in awe before you fully came to your senses. You could feel his skin against yours along the length of your body. "There you are, darling. Though I might lose you." The man spoke and let his hand graze over your cheek. His touch was hot, almost burning your skin.
Considering your situation, you were somehow eerily calm. You slowly sat up and pushed his hand away. Till now, you haven't said a word, but one glance down your body was enough to make you gasp. Even if you had felt his skin against yours just a few moments ago, it only now registered in your head that you were naked. Your hand clutched th blanket, keeping it close to your chest to hide your body. Beside you, you could hear the man chuckle again. "Where am I? Why am I undressed?" You moved a little away from him so your bodies weren't in contact anymore.
He hummed and tilted his head as if he had to think about where you currently were. "My temple, darling. The temple of war. Although, mine is a lot more appealing than the one in the human world, isn't it?"
You took a look around you, the abandoned temple you remembered passing out in wasn't there anymore. Instead, you found yourself in a lavishly decorated bedroom. Pillars made of marble carried the unnecessarily high ceiling, golden ornaments were worked into almost everything, even the marbled floor. Two statues of the man beside you silently guarded the large arched double door of his bedroom, both of them almost managed to reach the ceiling. "I don't understand." You muttered when you looked back at him. Nothing he said made sense to you. How could this be the same temple you passed out in? And he still hadn't answered why you weren't wearing your clothes. "And my clothes, where are they?"
"What's there to not understand?" He sighed and shook his head. "My temple, you're in my temple." He repeated, this time a lot slower. He probably thought you were a little dense. "Your clothes? Well, I had to take them off. They were drenched. How could I possibly keep you warm with them on?"
You swallowed hard at the thought of a stranger undressing you. He saw you in your most vulnerablestate while you were passed out. The thought alone made you a little squirmish. "Please give them back, I have to go home."
But the man only shook his head again. "Oh no, you don't have to." He gently pushed you back down by your shoulder. The soft bed molded to your body, almost swallowing you up. This is what you imagined it would feel like if you slept on a cloud. "How about you rest first, hm? I imagine that last night must have taken quite the toll on your human body."
Without resistance, you let yourself be pushed down again. You were far too compliant for a woman who woke up in the bed of a naked stranger, but something about him was soothing. It's almost like a lullaby dragging you into the dreamland or a sirens song luring sailors into the depths of he oceans. "Why do you keep talking like that? Like you're not human."
"Because I'm not. I'm the God of war." His hand landed on your cheek again now that you were lying back down. His fingertips wandered over your cheek, slowly down to your neck and coming to a rest over your pulse point. "Darling, why do you seem so confused? Do you not believe in the Gods."
You were sure that this man was trying to mess with your head. Human realm, a temple that suddenly shined in its old glory, and now the talk about Gods? Most importantly, claiming to be a God himself. So either he was trying to fool you, or he was the one who wasn't right in the head. "It's a lot, isn't it?" The man beside you spoke up again. "I get it. You'll have to get used to it. It isn't every day you meet a God, huh?" Meanwhile, his hand on your neck started to get restless and slowly began to wander. His hand traced from the nape of your neck, slowly down your spine, and over the curve of your behind until his hand came to a halt on the back of your thigh. The entire time his hand wandered over your body, you held your breath. You didn't know this man, but strangely enough, his touch didn't feel unpleasant, quite the opposite, actually. His touch left a warm prickly trail on your skin, his touch just as comforting as resting under the warm sun.
"Breath, darling." His voice lowered into a throaty purr which let his chest vibrate.
His words snapped you out of your trance, and you finally let air fill your lungs again. "Who are you really?" You asked him warily. In your mind, you were thinking about moving away from him to create some distance between the stranger and you. However, your body seemed to have other plans than your mind and stayed glued to your spot on the soft bed with silk blankets covering most parts of your body.
His hand softly squeezed the soft flesh of your thigh, a satisfied hum rumbled in his throat as his fingers dug into your skin. For a moment, he looked a little lost, his mind seemingly elsewhere and his eyes staring off into the distance right through you. Just when you were about to ask again, he answered you. "Well, name is Mingi, if that's what youre asking for." That's all he said. He gave you no explanation as to why you were with him. It was clear that he was too distracted. His fingers twitched to explore more of your body and let them roam freely all over you, but for now, he decided to behave himself a little and keep his hand on the back of your thigh.
You sighed when he really didn't reveal more about your current situation. It looked like you would have to pull the answers out of him. "Why am I here?"
Mingi had previously let his eyes wander over you, watching your form, which was hidden under the blankets. His eyes glued to your chest in particular. His gaze was narrowed at the blanket, which was pulled up just enough to protect your modesty, like it was the bane of his existence. But now his brown eyes met yours, at first glance they were kind and gentle, but with further inspection you could see that there was a storm right beneath the surface and ready to cause destruction, given the first opportunity. "How often do I have to repeat myself, darling? You know where you are, whether you believe it or not, you know it." His answer was less than satisfying. Your face pulled into a frown.
His hand let go of your thigh to reach for your face, his thumb stroked over your forehead, smoothing out the wrinkles that formed there. "Don't frown. I'll give you the answers you want, but it's not my fault if you dont believe them." Mingi sat up and stretched his arms over his head. The blanket had fallen off of his torso, now pooling around his hips and just barely covering his full glory from you. The muscles under his skin rippled with every movement. His body looked like he was sculptured by Pheidias himself.
You didn't mean to stare, but it was hard not to look when you could see how his biceps bulged, as well as the veins prominently running along his arms, and the muscles of his stomach flexing as he stretched his body. You swallowed hard at the thought of what would happen if the blanket slipped just a little lower. Mingi noticed you staring in his peripheral vision, but he chose not to say anything. "As I said many times before, you're in my temple, but you should know that, shouldn't you? After all, you're the one who wandered in here."
Suddenly, he stood up from the bed, a smirk tugged at his lips when he heard a small gasp coming from you. He had his back facing you, but you still quickly averted your eyes elsewhere. "You may think I was the one tugging you into my bed, but it was you who crawled in, really. Curling up against me like a stray kitten almost frozen to death." He spoke. You had no recollection of this. Then he shrugged his shoulders and corrected himself. "I might have guided you a little, but you're the one who came to me first."
While he was talking, he started to get dressed, and you watched. Well, at least he partially got dressed because his torso stayed mostly bare, only covered by a pelt sling with a one-sided shoulder pad. "It's been a long time since someone visited my temple." He mumbled, you swore you could hear some bitterness in his voice. Mingi turned back around to face you again. "But I guess the wait was worth it?"
"But that doesn't answer your question, right?" He chuckled as he began to roam around the lavish bedroom again, searching for something until he found and pulled out a pot with red paint in it. "I'm a God, darling. The god of war mainly, but also a symbol for bravery, virility, and victory." Meanwhile, he began to apply the paint to his body in a neat thick stripe on the side of his torso and over one side of his face. "Stumbled right into the lion's den." He muttered under his breath.
"Do you really think I believe that?" You asked. You couldn't help but scoff at what he had said. "Anyone can say that they're a god! Please just tell me where I am, I am serious, and I want to go home soon."
Mingi sighed and shook his head. "Why do humans always have to be so stubborn?" He muttered quietly. His movements stopped, and his head turned to look at you. "I'm afraid that's not possible. Of course, you didn't know better, but once you enter the realm of the gods, there's no turning back. At least for mortals like you, there isn't." His body followed his head, now facing you completely. "You're in the temple of the God of War. Sacrifices made to me are usually dead or on the brink of it, and guess what you were when you stumbled in here."
He sighed again and walked over to the bed, which was still occupied by your naked form hidden by the blankets. "Hate to break it to you, darling, but you're mine now." His hand reached out to caress your cheek. What he said was nothing but a lie. He didn't feel any remorse about this situation whatsoever. In fact, he relished in it. Finally, he has a pretty thing by his side, keeping his bed warm while he is out and about.
"But my home... I have to get home!" You protested.
"Why?" His head tilted while his hand roamed down to your neck. It was like his hand had a mind on its own because he couldn't keep his hands to himself. "What's there for you? No man, no family, no friends. Why are you so set on going back?"
You were a bit taken aback about his sudden assumptions about you. He wasn't wrong, but it was still surprising how accurate he was. Was it written on your face that you were a loner? It seemed that your surprise was written on your face because a low laugh emitted from deep within Mingi's chest. "I'm a God, darling. Of course I know. I know about everything that happens in my territory, and your little town you call your home just so happens to be part of it." He mused. His eyes were on his hand while he gently caressed your skin. "My time of glory and worship might have been a long time ago, but that doesn't mean that I disappeared. This land is still mine. I'm the one who has fought for this land centuries ago, and I'm the one who still protects it to this day."
Suddenly, his eyes sparkled with mischievous while he looked at you. "It's a shame you couldn't see the glory of the old days. You would've made a pretty war trophy."
Even if you wanted to move, you couldn't. His touch was stronger than the most potent narcotics, easily keeping you in place with feather like brushes of his fingertips. His words made you think, and you had to come to the conclusion that he was right. There was nothing waiting for you, at least nothing worth noting. But it couldn't be this easy, right? You couldn't just stay with a man whose touch was so incredibly tantalizing that you doubted your own sanity, a man who you just met, and a man who claimed to be a God. "Prove it to me. Prove that you're a God."
"Oh, I will, in time." He replied and straightened himself up. His touch left your cheek, and it took everything within you not to follow his hand like a cat begging for pats. "But not now. There's something I have to take care of before the other gods start to bother me about the fact that I'm keeping a human in our realm." He sighed and rolled his eyes. He would much rather spend time with his new pet, but he would have to tell Hongjoong, the father of the gods, about you if he didn't want to be cast out from the ranks of Gods and Goddesses.
He turned to leave, but he was stopped by you just before he could. "Wait! At least give me my clothes back."
He hummed, pretending to think about it before he shot you down with a flat, "No." A small grin spread on his lips when he continued, "I think I'm going to keep you like this, so I know you won't wander around and cause any havoc while I'm not here."
You huffed and glared at him. Your hand, which was holding the blanket protectively to your chest, tightened in the fabric. "You-!" He didn't even wait to listen to what you had to say. With large steps, he walked out of the room. The door shut closed behind him, and you were left alone, sitting on his bed with just your thoughts. This situation was absurd. You should be freaking out, screaming, and kicking, but you were calm. It didn't seem like he had the intention to hurt you. You were safe. Maybe you should listen to him. Maybe you should stay.
It's not like you ever had a choice in the in the first place.
#yandere ateez#ateez yandere#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez oneshot#ateez scenarios#yandere ateez x reader#yandere mingi#yandere mingi x reader#mingi x reader#mingi imagines#mingi oneshot#mingi scenarios
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maria omfg just read be so stupid and the part where u said about listen to spencers heartbeat and i am crazy for this type of intimacy 😫 can u make something with pre relationship spencer feeling his heartbeat i dont know their hearts syncing. really anything with that intimacy!!!! im in love with your writing keep posting cz im eating all up 💝💓💞🩷 kisses
Thump, Thump - S.R.
a/n: hi sug!!!!!!! love love love your beautiful mind!!! pre relationship where there is so much feelings and pining UGH! love! thank you sm for requesting <3
masterlist
pairings: spencer reid x reader
warnings: pre relationship cuties, pining, all the things!
wc: 1.1k
It was so quiet even the sound of a pin dropping might be deafening. In fact, it was so quiet that it felt as though Spencer could've read your mind if he tried hard enough. If he could read you mind, he would unfortunately be privy to your annoying inner monologue screaming:
"How could I be so stupid? I've managed to trap us in a tiny, cramped closet that's barely 9 square feet. How on earth did this even happen?"
Or something along those lines.
You had been investigating a crime scene, and somehow, you both ended up crammed into this confined space—so close that you could feel his surprisingly soft, springy hair, which had grown to shoulder length, brushing against your forehead. The closeness was almost suffocating, and you could hear his breathing, which only heightened your awareness of your predicament.
You find yourself in an incredibly awkward position, pressed against his chest, with your arms pinned at your sides as if you're afraid to make a move. Any lower and you risk an EEO report, but any higher and you'll be holding on to his chest, which somehow felt even more intimate.
"Do you think they're close?" you whispered, not knowing why you felt the need to lower your voice.
It almost seemed rude to speak at a normal volume, as if it would be too intrusive. After all, you'd practically be yelling right in his ear.
"Well, we called them 8 minutes ago," Spencer said, his voice vibrating from his chest to yours. "If they took the normal route, they should be here in approximately 3 minutes and 45 seconds. The average response time for our team in this area is about 12 minutes, but given the urgency, they might be a bit slower."
His hand moved to rest on your hip, and your body immediately went rigid. A jolt of electricity shot from your toes to your spine.
He sensed the tenseness in you because, well, of course he did. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," you breathed out, straining your eyes in the darkness to discern the details of his face. "Just a little claustrophobic."
That was only half true. It was more that you felt claustrophobic because you had no desire to be this close to the colleague you had been harboring an infatuation with for what felt like forever. He was intoxicating--everything about him. Especially now that you could feel his muscles flex beneath his shirt and breathe in the blend of old books and clean linen that seemed to define him.
Spencer nodded at your words, the movement of his head causing his entire body to shift. This brought him even closer, his arm instinctively wrapping around your back.
"Sorry, my arm was falling asleep," he justified, voice soft. You didn't argue, sparks detonating from the point of contact, your whole body aflame. "You know, sometimes applying gentle pressure can help reduce feelings of claustrophobia. It might seem counterintuitive, but it works."
"Well, I don't think we can get much closer than this," you chuckled nervously.
Spencer, without missing a beat, placed his hand gently around your neck and drew you into his chest. You didn't resist, didn't put up a fight. Your heart pounded, and with your ear now pressed against his body, you could heart his heart. The steady thumps were so clear, you could almost hear the blood coursing through its veins.
You softened into his touch, your hands moving slowly to wrap around his neck, unable to draw away from the continuous pulsing of his central organ. You were sick in the head, that was for sure, but the rest of your body didn't seem to care about your head's woes; it was all too keen to liquefy into his body.
You could likely die here—if the team never got here, and this is how you were to go—locked in a child's closet with the man of your dreams; you thought you might be okay with that.
But fate had different plans, which might have been a good thing; you might have been thinking a little rashly. You blamed it on the lack of oxygen flow. Spencer would tell you that the limited airflow in such small spaces means we're breathing in more carbon dioxide than usual, which can affect cognitive functions and make us feel dizzy and disoriented.
Dizzy and disoriented. Check and check. Now, whether that was due to the lack of airflow was a different story.
Without warning, Spencer's hand moved from your hip to your neck, settling between the nook where your jaw meets your throat. You froze in the spot, lips parted slightly as you watched his mouth move. Was he counting?
You realized he was when he let out a disappointed huff. His hand didn't move from your neck.
"Your heart rate is still pretty high," he observed. "Maybe we should try something else—"
"No, no, it's okay. I think it's working."
You didn't want to lose this closeness, and you weren't too eager for him to find out your heart rate was spiked by something other than the small space you were restricted to.
He hummed in response. You weren't sure if he believed you or not, but he dragged his hand back to your hip.
Thump, thump, thump.
You thought maybe you should tell him how you feel, that perhaps now was a better time than any—that the way your body froze around him was anything but friendly and that the feeling in your—
"Well, it looks like you two managed to stay calm."
Your head snapped up to see the team standing there, gaping at you like you were a couple of zoo animals. If they had given you 5 to 10 more minutes alone, you might have been.
You jumped away immediately, face burning as you raked a hand through your hair, glaring holes into Morgan's skull. On the other hand, Spencer looked slightly smug, a small smile tugging at his perfect lips.
"We were just... waiting," you protested, ignoring the look of disbelief from your unit chief.
Morgan chuckled, shaking his head. "Sure, whatever you say, hot stuff."
As you stepped out of the closet, your eyes lingered back to Spencer, your heart still racing. Your eyes met, and the world seemed to freeze for a moment. Maybe you'd tell him how you felt the next time.
"So, pretty boy, you think you'd be that snug with me if we were the ones trapped in there?"
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A FOOL'S GAME. III
summary: a heated argument with your ex-girlfriend ellie turns into a steamy hatefuck neither of you were expecting.
warnings: 18+!!, mean!ellie, bratty!reader, reader w/female anatomy, mentions of infidelity, namecalling, choking, pet names, tribbing, box eating, finger fucking. 3.3k words.
a/n: smut written with hit different by sza in mind, maybe hits different by miss swift if you fw it. dedicated to sexy Star @totheblood
tags: @dyk3ification @girluvrr @totheblood @coeurify
part i / part ii
“I was in such a bad place and and I mean, it's not that I'm so much better right now, I’ve just been tryin–"
"You can’t keep using that as an excuse," you jumped in, slightly disappointed that you could predict the conversation. You had heard this all before. Nothing you could ever hear would ever justify why she treated you the way she did. "Do you have any idea how pathetic I felt? How lonely? Even then, I could never do what you did to me.”
“You have to trust me, Y/N. I- I was so fucking wrong. About everything," Ellie scrambled to reason with you. With one hand, she gestured as she spoke, while the other laid just over the hem of your shorts. It was always reassuring when she used to do that. Just a small squeeze on your thigh to bring you back to the present. "I did need you. I needed you then and I still do now."
But it didn’t have the same effect on you anymore. It disgusted you. It disgusted you so much, you almost wanted her to keep going. To keep pushing you and your boundaries. To want you so bad, that she couldn’t help herself. You agreed to become strangers again, but you knew that was the last thing you wanted. Her words meant nothing. You wanted her to fight for you, to love on you, to show you that you didn’t have to become strangers again. You wanted her to prove you so undeniably wrong.
"And what happened when I needed you? When I wanted so badly for you to love me the same way? I spent so many nights crying over you. All while you were face-fuckin’-deep in another girl’s pussy," you chastised her, your voice faltering ever so slightly as you choked back that stupid lump in your throat.The image of her infidelity would be etched in your mind forever. There wasn’t a moment of thinking about it that didn’t burn your blood hot and choke you up with tears. It was a hurt you were sure you’d never get over.
“All we did was fuck! It never meant anything to me!” Ellie exploded, spitefully swiping her hand off of your thigh.
“Oh, so I guess that means I’m supposed to forgive you? Sure, Ellie! Go ahead, fuck whoever you want! As long as it doesn’t mean anything right? Is that what you wanted me to say?”
While Ellie loved you, she knew how stubborn you were. Loyalty meant a lot to you, and she knew it. Well, fuck, it meant a lot to her too. But she couldn’t get a good read on you. Were you saying this shit because you were still angry? Or was it to punish her? Whatever it was, she had to give it to you; you knew exactly the things to say to rile her. To get under her skin and piss her off.
“God, you always do this shit. You don't have to be a bitch and rub it in my fucking face. I admit that I wasn't a good fucking person, I know! I'm fucking trying!"
“So why the fuck did you come here, Ellie?”
“I wanted to apo-”
“To apologize? Have you fucking learned nothing? You think an apology will magically make this shit go away? Make me forget what I saw? Fuck your apology,” you practically spat at her and the audacity she had. “Get this shit through your thick fucking skull. I don’t fucking forgive you.”
“No, you know what, Y/N? Fuck you! You’re right, I don’t know why I came over here. Don’t know why I ever fucking loved you.”
It felt like the whole world went quiet. Game over. The pit of disgust that sat in your chest exploded into rage. How did you end up screaming at each other again? Why did she always make you feel as if you weren’t allowed to be fuckin’ mad at what she did? Your face grew red with heat and sweat pricked your neck. You made sure to lock on to Ellie's gaze, so she'd be sure you weren't fucking around, and that your next words were absolutely intentional.
“I’m glad the feeling is mutual," you practically whispered, peering directly into those angry green eyes. You nodded slowly. "Now get the fuck out."
"I'm not moving," Ellie whispered back and shrugged with newfound confidence and crossed arms. Her temper might be her pitfall, but her willful attitude proved stronger. She came here to get you back and she was already in the midst of fucking it all up again — a spiteful captain on her own sinking ship.
"Ellie. Get the fuck out of my house," you hissed as you drew in toward her, her face only inches away from yours. You glared at each other like two hateful and bitter champions moments from entering the ring.
"I'm not. fucking. leaving," Ellie said, her voice gravelly and her breath brushing your lips. Her furrowed glare flickered from your lips to your eyes as her hand came up around the base of your throat. Her slender fingers grasped at your neck, pushing you down and onto the couch.
Deeply and desperately, your lips entangled with each others’ for the first time in what felt like fucking years as you laid beneath her on your sofa. By now, the heat that had started fire in your face had traveled its way right between your legs. Fuck, how long had it been? Weeks? Months? Since you had felt those lips on yours? Since you had melted around those fingers? Since you tasted her? If you were honest, there was something about Ellie calling you a bitch that had you dripping wet underneath those shorts.
In frantic frustration, both of your chests heaved as you rolled tongues and small breathless moans leaked through. Her rough hands traveled from your neck to your tits underneath the oversized tee you wear to bed, your nipples stiffening and aching from her reckless touch.
“Fuck me,” you managed to moan into her mouth, prompting her to break away from the kiss. Her eyes were dark with an unrecognizable, manic lust. She quickly stripped herself of her grey hoodie, white tank and sweats, leaving just her sports bra and boxers before returning her attention to you, those soft lips, and your chest.
“That’s right, baby,” she growled against your lips before dragging hers along your neck, brashly sucking and kissing, littering your skin with purplish love bites.
“Don’t fucking leave those marks on my neck, Ellie,” you warned her, feigning your composure as if she hadn’t left you completely breathless. You were too stubborn to admit that it felt so damn good for Ellie to claim you like this. To proudly mark her as yours after months of having frozen each other out. But god, you knew how you’d hear it from Maria and the girls on stable once they would see them.
“What? Don’t want anyone to know?” Ellie retorted defensively in between the painfully sweet, suckling bites on your collarbones. “Well, they need to know you’re fucking mine.”
As her lips drew lower on your neck, you pressed your soaking pussy harder into her knee, desperately trying to relieve yourself of the tension of your throbbing clit. You rocked against her, gnawing the inside of your cheek to mask the moaning that would’ve fallen from your lips - not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing how she still made you feel. But the harder you pushed into her, the harder she ground onto you, the strain already building in your abdomen. “So fuckin’ needy already. You’re gonna fuckin’ beg me to let you cum.”
“Fuck off,” you retorted, sliding your body up and away from her, playfully teasing her for thinking she had the control. The tension in your core began to dissipate, and throbbing nearly made you regret moving away from her touch. But you remained resolute. “I’m not gonna be begging you for shit.”
Just like that, her fingers came around the waistband of your shorts and pulled them down to reveal the soaking panties stuck to your heat. “I mean for someone who hates me so much, you still get this fuckin’ wet for me, huh?” But before you could snipe in return, her fingers wrapped around your panties and ripped the thin fabric into two, eager to lick up the mess you already made. “Look at this mess, baby. All over this perfect little pussy.”
“I’m not your fucking baby,” you reprimanded her, focused on sliding off the remnants of your shredded panties, eager to feel her fingers glide over your slick.
“Look at me when you fuckin’ say that,” she demanded, sliding two fingers into your aching pussy and bringing her left hand to your neck, driving you absolutely wild. You locked eyes with her as you struggled to catch your breath while her grip closed on your throat.
“I’m not… your f-fuckin’,” you whimpered, your clit throbbing from the way her hand wrapped around your neck like a necklace. At the same time, her fingers rhythmically danced on that soft, sweet spot in your cunt, leaving you at a loss for words, unable to finish your original sentence. You let a groan leave your lips in defeat, your back slowly arching to the sinful sound of Ellie’s heavy breathing and the gushing from her fingers pounding into you. “Shitttt, Ellie…”
“That’s what I thought,” she taunted. She pulled her glistening fingers out from your dripping cunt and delivered a wet blow straight onto your helpless clit, earning a satisfying yelp from you. But before she continued to fuck you, her fingers were in her mouth, cleaning up your slick off of them. Her eyes glued to yours, dark with lust. You’d be lying if you said the sight of her licking up the mess on her fingers didn’t make your pussy ache. But you’d never let her know that now. “I make this perfect little pussy feel so fuckin’ good, don’t I, baby?”
She was making you wait. She craved to hear those words spill from your lips so bad that she fucking dreamt about it. The sleepless nights almost felt painfully worth it to Ellie as she seized you up with her eyes, her gaze lingering on that glossy mess of a sweet spot between your spread legs, a growing ache starting in her own.
But of course, you’d rather walk across glass before admitting how much you missed the way she made your back arch. Instead, you wanted so bad to tell her how you fucking despised her. How she disgusted you.
Except you didn’t hate her. No, you could never hate her, not even in the slightest. What you hated was that no matter what she did, how low she stooped, how unforgivably she acted… you still loved her. Sure, it was bad when it was bad, but when it was good? She knew how to make you feel too fucking good.
“Get fucked. Go find that other bitch to beg for you,” you jeered like a brat while shutting your legs. Almost immediately after those words left your lips, her hands flew around your thighs and roughly yanked you towards her, your back now slightly lifted away from the sofa. A gasp rushed from your lips, completely caught off guard by the way Ellie handled you.
Her grip traveled toward your inner thighs, her fingers pressing hard into your skin. You were almost fully convinced that you’d see the bruises peppered across your skin later, but you were too enthralled to bring yourself to care.
“I don’t fuckin’ think so,” Ellie muttered at you, lowering her face between your legs so that her lips inches away from your cunt. Without hesitation, her tongue hungrily slipped over your clit teasingly, over and over as that familiar tension grew in your stomach again. You bit your lip, and held your breath, trying to fight the urge to grab a fistful of her hair and plunge her tongue further into your pussy.
You tried, and you failed. Miserably.
“Oh fuckkkk yessss,” you whined, unable to keep your composure at the sound of her sloppily lapping at your cunt. Your hands flew to her auburn locks and gripped tufts of her hair between your fingers, needlessly driving her face deeper into you. She hummed into your cunt in response, the vibration hitting your clit and sending shockwaves of pleasure toward that delicious knot growing in your core. “Don’t fucking stop, Ellie, please don’t fucking stop!”
Lustful green eyes peered at you from between your legs every few seconds, thirsty to catch every twitch and shiver as her tongue worked your bud. Heat grew beneath her boxers as she stole glimpses of your chest falling and rising…the way you licked and bit your lip with eyes closed as you fervently chased that release. The feeling was becoming frantic, and you found yourself desperately craving Ellie to put you over the edge.You needily rocked your hips against her face, her lips and tongue gliding effortlessly through your folds.
“Shittt, justlikethatbaby, please, just like that,” you whimpered, too close to bliss to curse yourself for crying out to her the way you promised you wouldn’t. But Ellie wouldn’t let that slide. “Right fuckin’ there, oh fuck right there!”
Moments away from a crashing wave of ecstasy, Ellie ripped it out from under you. She pushed herself away from your grasp to look at you fully, her nose and flush pink lips glossy from a mixture of your slick and her saliva.Your grip in her hair left her locks a wild mess, but the last thing on her mind was how her hair looked. The built up tension at your core dissolved again at the will of the girl you claimed to hate. And the dismay easily revealed itself on your face.
“Ohh, look at that. Look at who’s fuckin’ begging now,” Ellie squeezed out between her panting, a cocky grin helplessly spreading across her wet lips. She couldn’t care less how hungrily you had been chasing your climax; she wanted you to know that she won.
But before you were able to taunt in return, her hand came up and fell quickly, delivering another hard jolt to your pussy. Her fingertips directly stung your sensitive clit and an involuntary cry rang out from your lips. Your hand flew to your pussy to comfort the painfully pleasurable sting.
“You’re so easy to break, aren’t you?” she huffed, a self-satisfied smirk crooked on her face as she wiped off the wetness. Her resolve sobered you, almost competitively. You knew how bad Ellie had been wanting you, and you knew exactly how to take advantage.
“You’re one to talk. As if you’re not fuckin’ dripping…” you warned her, sitting up slowly to run your fingers across the slippery, wet spot you could see seeping through her boxers. Your hand trailed upward toward the waistband, as your fingers dipped beneath it. You could read each others’ eyes more clearly than you had ever before. A conversation was exchanged within a dark and carnal glare; you had read each other's minds and, without a single word, agreed.
She ripped off and tossed her boxers without hesitation and pressed your left leg back, positioning herself so that both your middles met perfectly. Her warm, slick cunt gently slid across yours, provoking a sharp inhale from between her teeth. With every wet and messy pass over your sensitive clit, that familiar, blissful strain began to build for both of you.
Desirous glares and nothing but the sound of frenzied breaths and slippery contact of your gushing pussies were driving you over the edge. Ellie’s bucking became desperate, low moans leaking from her lips in ways she knew she’d kick herself for later. Her fingers dug into the thigh of the leg she pinned back, the tension balling up in her stomach almost irresistibly. It didn’t help to watch you writhe in pleasure beneath her, with your pretty parted lips and breathy whines and moans.
“God, your pussy feels so fuckin’ good baby,” she managed to squeeze out in between sharp breaths and low moans, her left hand wandering toward your chest and roughly squeezing one of your tits. “I’m s-so fucking close.”
“Oh god, Els, ohhh fuckkkk, you’re gonna make me cum,” you groaned breathily, rocking your hips in time with hers, watching the sweat glisten off of her toned stomach in the warm lamplight. Watching her fuck you was pushing you over the edge, with her face screwed up in anticipatory pleasure, her lips wet and spouting the dirty sweet nothings you craved to hear.
“Shitttt, baby, cum with me,” Ellie growled, leaning forward to wrap her hand around your throat again, the purple and red marks from her brash kisses now more darkly staining your skin. The pressure of her grip closed in on your windpipe, dispelling any remaining breath from your lips and leaving no way to inhale again. You almost hated that she always knew how to make your climax the most intense ones you’d ever had. “Be a good girl and cum with me, baby.”
You could feel the blood rushing to your head while that euphoric feeling swelled in your lower half. Your hand flew Ellie’s hand on your neck which somehow gripped even tighter as that intense feeling rolled in her abdomen. She had squeezed her eyes shut, her brows furrowed in a desperate focus and her breath becoming shallow.
“F-fuck!” you tried to squeeze out from under her grasp, nothing but a whiny whisper leaving your lips.
You couldn’t help but go quiet as your eyes rolled back, your lips parted and the muscles in your legs and abs tensed. Ellie continued to grind herself against you, sending an earth-shattering wave of pleasure from your core, your back arching in pure electrifying bliss. You dug your nails into her forearm as she gripped your throat, her control of your breath amplifying the intense and muscle-tightening pangs of pleasure from your pussy.
“G-god, Y/N…” Ellie stammered out as you watched her eyebrows pinch at the center, lips slowly parting in ecstasy. She vehemently rubbed herself against you through her climax, unbridled and involuntary moans escaping her lips as her muscles tensed and flexed over you.
As the feeling began to subside, Ellie let go of your windpipe, allowing you to inhale an exhilarating headrush of air, goosebumps forming along your skin at the gratification.
She collapsed against you in calm exhaustion, her warm, damp skin sticking to yours as she lay on your bare chest. Both of your chests rose and fell as you descended from the euphoria you experienced moments before. Your hand almost instinctively came up to push her hair away from her sweat-beaded temples while she laid there. But you almost didn’t want to catch yourself.
“…Hope you don’t think this shit means I forgive you, asshole,” you said spitefully, to overcome whatever it was that you were feeling when you decided to brush her hair away. But you pushed her off of you as you both sat up, unable to meet each others’ eyes.
“Oh pleaseee,” Ellie mocked. “Had you screaming my name and you still hate me?”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you picked up your oversized sleep shirt from the side of the couch. You worked on turning it the right way round and pulling it over your head. This time, you were able to meet her green eyes just for a fleeting moment, a flicker of disappointment behind them.
“Fuck you, Ellie. Yes. I still hate you.”
#shhskdjffj running away now#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams angst#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams#writings#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams x you
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Bloated?
Pairing - Paul Lahote x FemaleReader
Summary - Reader starts gaining weight and the pack starts noticing
Warnings - body shaming, kissing, swearing, pregnancy, vomiting, period talk, Jacob being an ass, kinda ooc
Word Count - 3693
Masterlist
Friday, June 6th
"Em?" Y/N asked looking into the mirror at her stomach. "Does my stomach look, I dont know, bloated to you?"
"Um, yeah, maybe a little bit. I dont think it's anything to worry about though." The older woman replied, after looking at the girls stomach.
"I just feel like I'm getting fat. Paul probably notices too." She put her head down.
"Honey, that boy loves you more than anything. You're his whole world. You have nothing to worry about. He imprinted on you and he loves you. Now stop putting yourself down and help me make this food for them animals."
The girl laughed and started getting the table set.
Tuesday, June 10th
"Hm. That's weird."
"What?" Leah asked, the girl staying at her house.
"Nothing, just my period was supposed to start 3 days ago. I'm sure it's fine, this happens sometimes."
"If you're sure, and hurry up Elijah is about to kill Klaus."
Thursday, June 19th
The girl let out a groan, flushing the toilet after being woken up with the sudden urge to vomit.
Saturday, June 21st
All the girls, Emily, Leah, Kim, and Y/N, were all out shopping and having a girls day.
While Leah and Kim were looking through sets of bikinis. Y/N pulled Emily to the side.
"Em, I think I might be pregnant."
"What? Why do you think that??"
"Um, my periods late, my stomach looks bloated, and I've been throwing up. Not to mention Paul made my favorite dinner the other night and I couldn't stand the smell."
"We need to get you a test then, Hon."
***
After Leah and Kim left, Emily let Y/N go into the bathroom to take the test.
Coming out the bathroom, Y/N starts stressing. "What if its positive? What will Paul think? How do I deal with this?"
"Hey. Hey. Just breath. Let's first figure out if you're pregnant or not." Emily calmly says.
"Yeah, you're right." Taking a deep breath she starts to calm, until the timer goes off and her eyes get wide. "Can you check?"
Emily walks into the bathroom and looks at the test, coming out with tears in her eyes. "Um, yeah, you're pregnant"
"Oh mi gosh. Em, what am I supposed to do? Paul and I haven't even talked about kids. What if he doesn't want any?"
"Don't jump to conclusions. Take a couple days to think, and tell Paul when you're ready."
"Thank you, Emily. You always know what to say." The girl wraps her arms around the woman.
Wednesday, June 25th
The imprints made burgers and the pack was having a cookout. Everyone was making their plates. Y/N started to make her plate putting 2 burgers, each with cheese, tomato, onion, and chili. Put a little bit of slaw on the side and some chips.
"Dang girl, you're hungry today." Embry joked, making the girl laugh.
"He's not kidding you are eating a lot more lately." Jacob grumbled.
The girl got quiet and let out a silent "oh".
"What was that? Jacob." Paul growled.
"I'm just saying look at her Paul, everyone here notices how big she's getting. Maybe she should cut back."
After hearing that the girl started to stand up. Paul grabbing her hand. "Its fine, Paul. I'm just gonna go home."
She quietly grabbed her bag and apologized for the inconvenience. "Sorry, I didn't realize I did that. You can have them." Then she walked out the house. Leah chasing after her.
"What the fuck Jacob?!" Paul yelled.
"Paul." Sam warned.
"No Sam. He called her fat, she's not fat."
"We don't need a fight to break out."
"If he didn't want a fight he wouldn't have said anything."
"Paul. Enough."
Paul was shaking horribly. Sam pushed him out the house.
"Really Jacob?!" Jared called, running after Sam and Paul.
"Why is everyone so mad? I just told her how it was. You all can see how much bigger she's getting." Jacob tried to justify himself.
"That doesn't mean that you point it out." Seth told him.
"I know you were all thinking it. Just because I have the guts to tell Paul how it is doesn't make me the bad guy."
"Maybe you should learn the whole story before you go around hurting people."
"Seth. What's that supposed to mean? Seth!"
Seth ran out the house, hoping to find Leah and Y/N.
"Embry? Even you said something."
"I was joking Jake. What you did was uncalled for." Embry scoffed.
"Come on."
"Just stop Jacob." Emily snapped, causing the three left there to widen there eyes.
"Emily. Seriously? You know she's bigger!" Jacob was getting angry.
"Yeah, Jacob. She's eating more and getting bigger, but it's none of your business!" Emily snapped again.
"What if eating so much is hurting her?"
"It's not though, Jacob."
"How do you know??"
"Jacob when she is ready you'll know. Until then shut up."
"Sorry, damn."
***
"Y/N!"
"Y/N"
"Damn, you're fast."
"What do you want Leah?" Y/N sighed as she stopped and turned around, her eyes red and puffy.
"Don't listen to Jacob. He's an asshole."
"I don't care about what Jake said."
"You do or you wouldn't be crying."
"He called me fat Leah. I've never been called that before." She started to tear up. "And it's not even that I'm fat."
"What is it then?"
"Leah...I'm pregnant."
"What!? That's great news."
"Yeah, except for the fact everyone thinks I'm a pig now."
"They do not. If anyone's a pig it's Jacob. Now come on, you need the feed that little one."
***
"Paul!"
"Calm down!"
"Shift back!"
Sam phased into his wolf.
"Paul!"
"He's such an asshole." Paul snarled.
"You need to shift back. Calm down."
"I'm going to rip his throat out."
"Paul!"
"Come on Paul. She needs you." Jared joined.
"I'm trying! I can't control it."
"Calm your thoughts. Breath."
Paul started to shift back, pulling up his shorts in the process. Jared and Sam following shortly after.
***
"Y/N/N! Are you ok? You know Jake doesn't mean to be an ass." Seth tried to reassure the girl.
The girl laughed and grabbed Seth's hands. "Yes. I'm good. Thank you for checking up on me."
It was quiet for a few moments as the trio started walking back to the house. "So..." Seth piped up. "Does she know?"
Leah gasped. "What?! Know?! You told Seth before you told me!"
"He wasn't supposed to find out! He walked in on me having a meltdown about Paul." Y/N defended herself.
"Shit." The girl squeaked. "Paul! He's going to be asking questions. What am I supposed to tell him! I'm not ready. I just found out myself. I need to process this more. Stupid Jacob and his stupid big mouth!"
"Hey! Hey. Just breathe. Paul will understand if you don't want to talk." Leah reassured.
"Are you sure? Because Paul-"
Seth cut the girl off. "She's sure Y/N/N. He wouldn't pressure you into telling him something you don't want to. Now let's go eat I'm sure Little Bit in there is starving."
Both girls let out laughs.
"Um, guys, actually I was just going to go home. I don't wanna face Jacob's apologizes right now."
"Y/F/N you need to eat." Leah demanded.
"Just bring me something when you're finished? Please."
Leah sighed, knowing she wasn't changing the girls decision. "Fine. But you better eat everything I bring you."
"Pinky promise." She held up both her pinkies to Seth and Leah, Seth grabbing her pinky with his, giggling. Leah rolled her eyes, but nevertheless did the same.
"And..." The girl trailed. "Tell Paul that I took his truck. And that I'm ok?"
"So needy." Leah joked, dragging the 'y'.
"But fine I can do that."
"Thank you! You two are the best!"
"We know." They both said at the same time, causing the trio to laugh.
***
Back at home, the girl, took off her shoes and changed into pajama shorts and one of Paul's shirts.
Turning on her and Leah's favorite show to watch, 'The Vampire Diaries'. It was nice to watch people play supernatural creatures. Got their minds off of the real ones that loomed outside.
***
"Finally!" Was the first thing Leah and Seth heard as they walked through the door into Emily's and Sam's.
"Where's Y/N?" Was the second.
Leah was the one to tell Paul the situation.
"So, you just let her leave?" Paul said.
"Yes. She is a grown woman Paul." Leah retorted.
"She didn't even eat."
"I told her I would bring her something."
"I think I should go over there."
"No, you shouldn't." Sam butted in.
"And why not?!"
"Because Paul you just shifted you don't need to do that around her."
"I wouldn't hurt her." Paul glared.
"That's not the point. I said no and my answer is final. You will not go over to Y/N's tonight." Using his alpha voice, making Paul growl and leave the table.
***
"Is it bad that I'm kind of glad Sam did that?" The girl let out to her best friend.
"Yes!" Leah exclaimed.
"I just- I don't know what I would say to him."
"Your fear of confrontation is peeking through."
"Leah! This is serious."
"And I'm being serious. Paul deserves to know."
"I know. I'm just..." The girl let out a sigh. "Scared."
"You should never be scared with him. He looks at you like you're his sun. The thing that is keeping him alive."
"What if he doesn't want a baby? What if this is the one thing he can't handle with me." She whispered.
"That boy would love to start a family with you. The timing may not be ideal, but I've seen the way he looks at you. I saw the way he looked at you before the imprint. You are his literal everything and not just because fate decided you were destined. You were meant to have forever with each other way before fate decided it."
Y/N had tears in her eyes by the time Leah had finished. "I really needed that Leah." She sniffled. "I guess, sometimes, my insecurities take over. I've just been so scared, with the vampires and Bella. There's no time for a baby. Not in his life. He already has so much on him. Why do I need to add more?"
"Quit putting yourself down. You know you come first, when it comes to anything with Paul. A baby is not a burden, or something that just adds pressure. A baby can bring joy and bring people together. Maybe that's what we all need right now."
"Yeah. Maybe you're right."
"No maybe about it. I am right."
"Oh so modest." The girls giggled.
Thursday, June 26th
Awoken to heavy knocks on the front door, both girls growned, having stayed up most of the night talking.
"Y/N. Get the door." Leah grumbled.
"Why me?" The girl whined.
"It's your house."
"You kept me up all night."
"You mean you kept me up all night."
"No."
"Just open the door."
"Fine." She whined, pushing herself out of bed, looking at the clock on her nightstand that read 8:07 am.
Stomping to the door, grumbling profanities the whole way. She pulled the door open only to be greeted with-
"Paul?"
"Hey! I couldn't sleep without making sure you were ok. Jacob was an asshole. He never should have said those untrue things. I love your body and you should too. I think you're beautiful, inside and out. I don't care that you can eat two burgers, I love a woman that can hold her food. Yo-"
"Paul." She cut him off. "As sweet as this is, can we do it later? I'm sorry. Leah kept me up until 5 this morning and all I wanna do is curl up and take a hundred year nap."
"Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Want a cuddle buddy?" A smirk slowly rising on his face.
"You know I could never turn you down." She grinned pulling him inside and onto the couch.
***
By the time the girl woke Paul was already gone, a note in his place, telling her he had patrol but would be back after.
Leah was gone too, so the girl assumed the pack needed her as well.
Grabbing some clothes, she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.
***
After a much needed shower, Y/N looked out the window and noticed Paul's truck still in the driveway and his keys still on her nightstand.
Grabbing the keys, and getting in the truck, she started her drive to Emily's.
***
"Hey Em." She called, walking inside.
"Heyyyy." Said girl peeked her head out the kitchen. "I need to talk to you."
"Ok, nothing stressful about that sentence at all."
"Have you told Paul?"
"Diving right in, I see." She muttered.
"Huh?" Emily called from the kitchen.
"Oh! Uh- no I haven't."
"Do you know when you're going to? Because I think you should soon, it'll make all this doubt you have go away."
"I don't know. Soon though, promise!"
Tuesday, July 7th
Everyone was gathered around Emily and Sam's table, laughing and joking around. Well, everyone except Jacob he was upset with Bella, which made him brood.
Y/N sat beside Paul, occasionally stealing the tomatoes off his plate, he always put them to the side for her to grab because they were her favorites and he wasn't that fond of them.
Going unnoticed by the pack and the imprints, everytime she'd take one Jacob would roll his eyes and scoff.
Grabbing the last one of Paul's plate and about to put it in her mouth she was stopped by Jacob's rude voice.
"Are you serious?" He scoffed.
Everyone looked around confused as to what his sudden outburst was about.
"Everything ok, Jacob?" Emily asked.
Jacob let out a little laugh and clicked his tongue.
This time Y/N spoke up.
"Are you upset, Jacob?"
"Me? What? No." He paused. "I do think Paul should be though."
"Why would Paul be upset?" You furrowed your eyebrows.
"Because his girlfriend has already had more than enough, but she's still eating. And not just that but taking it off his plate. Do you really need that much food Y/N? All it does is make you fatter, which is definitely not something you need. If anything you need to exercise more." He spat at her.
His outburst caused Kim and Emily to let out gasps. Jared and Paul standing up.
Paul had his mouth open about to say something but before he could Y/N interrupted.
"Paul. It's fine. He can feel the way he feels. I'm just gonna go home."
"No you're not." Emily piped in. "Jacob if you could please leave."
"What?" Jacob exclaimed.
"I asked if you could leave, I expect you to use respect in my house and until I see you give some to Y/N I want you to leave."
"She's not even apart of the pack."
"She's an imprint. We are apart of this pack, now are you gonna apologize or did I need to get Paul to escort you out?"
Jacob scuffed, "I'm sorry I called you fat, it may be true but it was not nice of me to say."
Paul was fuming, "I accept your apology"
"No she doesn't." Paul vented.
"Paul, it's fine I don't wanna cause a fight."
"You're not causing the fight. He is."
"He apologized. That's enough. Let's finish eating, then I have to tell you something."
***
"You wanted to tell me something?" Paul said, as he drove them home.
"Can it wait? I'm really tired and just wanna go to sleep."
"Of course, Sweetheart." He kisses her temple.
Thursday, July 9th
"I'm telling him."
All three girls let out simultaneous screams.
"Finally!" Emily exclaimed.
"Took you long enough" Leah joked.
"I still can't believe you're pregnant." Kim gasped.
"Well maybe I should wait a little longer, maybe until August?" Y/N let out a cheeky grin.
"No!" All three girls yelled.
The guys were on patrol and the imprints had the house to themselves. There was a knock at the door.
The girl laughed as she got up to get the door.
"Are you expecting anyone?" Leah questioned Emily.
"No." Emily whispered out.
"Y/N don't answer that." Leah called.
"Guys I invited someone." Y/N answered back.
"Who? We're your only friends." Leah joked.
Y/N opened the door, only for Bella to be standing awkwardly on the other side.
"Hi! Come in. Come in."
"No." Leah deadpanned.
"I thought it would be nice. Jacob really likes her."
"Why do you care what Jacob thinks? He's an ass."
"He wasn't always one. And a friend of Jake's is a friend of ours."
"Well, I think it was nice of Y/N to invite Bella. Make yourself at home Bella, the guys shouldn't be back for a while so it's just us girls. Right now we're just talking but later we're baking!" Emily clapped.
"Ok." Bella squeaked out.
"I don't think we've met. I'm Kim." She introduced herself.
"Bella." She said and waved.
"Well sit down, come on." Emily waved her over. "You ok if we still talk about.."
"Of course! As long as you promise not to tell the guys." Y/N put on her best serious face and looked Bella dead in her eyes.
"I barely talk to them."
"You can't tell Jacob."
"I won't tell Jacob."
"Ok..well I'm pregnant, the baby is Paul's and I haven't told him yet."
"Omg. Congratulations."
"Thank you! I'm kinda in this adrenaline thing right now and I'm hoping it won't wear off by the time Paul gets here." The girls giggled.
"So. Boys!" Emily exclaimed. "Jared?"
"We're really good. He's the greatest. The other day he tried to make me breakfast in bed, he got up really early, my parents were out of town, word of advice Em, never and I mean ever let Jared in the kitchen. It was sweet though he brought me fried eggs and bacon, only all of it was black." Kim laughed at the memory. "And I have a burnt spot on the wall in my kitchen, he still won't tell me what happened."
"He's such a klutz."
"But he makes it so adorable!"
The girls laughed at how in love she was.
"I already told y'all all my boy struggles." Y/N threw her hands up. "What about Sam?" She wiggled her eyebrows, causing the girls to let out giggles.
"Sam is..." Emily let out a sigh, "Sam is perfect. The wedding is soon, as you all know. But enough about me I wanna know about your love life Leah. Oh, and Bella would you like anything to drink, we've got wine and water, sorry not much."
"I'm good. Thank you." Bella muttered, still awkward.
"Leahhhh. Love life. Go." Emily may be a little tipsy.
"Can't talk about something that's non-existent."
"Leah don't lie. We're all friends here." Y/N blurted out.
"Fine. I did meet this girl....but that's all I'm saying!"
Emily and Kim let out pouts while Y/N laughed, maybe letting them have wine was a bad idea.
"You." Emily pointed at Bella.
"Me?" Bella questioned.
"Yes. How's your vamp?"
"Oh, um- he's nice, I guess."
"No. I need more than nice."
"He's really good at dancing." Bella shrugged.
"I need more." Emily begged.
Maybe Bella should of said yes to that wine.
***
It had been a good four hours and 4 out of 5 of the girls were more than tipsy. The 5th one just laughing her ass off at her friends.
The guys were in for a surprise when they came in. There was flour everywhere. In places where flour shouldn't be.
The girls were sitting in a circle in the kitchen, giggling, waiting on their cookies and brownies and muffins to be done. They got a little over board.
Then the door opened and the girls went silent. Sam walked through the door to be met with flour and baking ingredients all over the table and counters, along with 3 empty bottles of wine. He could hear whispers in the kitchen.
"Maybe if we stay really quiet they won't realize we're here." Emily whispered. The other girls giggling. "Shhhhh."
Sam peered over into the kitchen, watching the five girls huddle down, not noticing he was there. Hearing the guys he quieted them letting them look.
Emily peered up seeing the guys watch them causing her to squeak and the other girls to look up.
Each guy had an amused look on his face, watching the girls.
"Welp, grab one." Sam called.
Sam scooped Emily up into his arms, causing her to let out of squeal.
Jared did the same to Kim, and Jacob to Bella. Seth grabbed his sister, and Paul grabbed Y/N.
"Paul, wait, I have to tell you something" Y/N said. "I'm not drunk. I can't even drink."
He took the girl and sat her down outside. She stood in front of him, and he gave her a look to continue.
Hearing loud noises coming from the house, they both looked over only to see all four girls watching them with wide grins on their faces.
"What is happening?" Paul asked, with a confused smile.
In the background you could hear the girls screaming with excitement.
"Here goes nothing. Paul..."
"Yes."
"I'm pregnant."
Paul's face was pure shock, all the girls in the background screaming and cheering.
"We're gonna have a baby?"
"Yeah. We're gonna have a baby. It's why I've been getting bigger, as Jacob so kindly reminds me."
"I'll kill him if you want me to."
"I know you would."
"I have a question."
"Shoot."
"Why is the leech lover here?"
"I invited her. She's actually really nice. I get why Jacob likes her."
"I can't believe we're going to have a baby."
"Me neither."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
#twilight#twilight imagine#twilight imagines#the twilight saga#the twilight series#new moon#paul lahote#paul lahote fanfiction#paul lahote fic#paul lahote imagine#paul lahote imagines#paul lahote x reader#paul lahote x y/n#pregnant#werewolves#vampires#jacob black#bella swan#wolf pack imagines#wolf pack#angst#twilight angst#paul lahote angst
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Alucard and Anderson fighting over you...
ok but Alucard and father Anderson both pining over the same person...
✧ If having an obsessive bloodthirsty vampire on your trail isn't bad enough, it appears you managed to capture another set of eyes... A set of eyes akin to madness.
✧ Alexander Anderson is puzzled; yet enthralled by your mere existence once he sees for himself the kindness you possess. The way you are so tender and kind to even the lowliest of hellspawn captures his attention. How you smile and treat the Draculina Seras with kindness, like she were a good friend, despite her dead heart and cold body. will earn you a prolonged stare from the towering man himself whenever you are within his presence.
He listens. He watches. Observing the way you confide within the young vampire, or flitter beneath Integra's steel Gaze- and especially how you seem to appear nonchalant despite being shrouded in the no-life kings shadow. It's curious to him, oh so very curious. It's Maddening to him.
✧ Who are you? What are you... You're nothing more than a fragile human, dear and earnest. You may have your obscurities and oddities, but at the end of the day, you're a little thing ensnared within the claws of hellsing.
✧ Through contemplative nights and long days of reading scripture and clutching his cross within his worn palms, he comes to a conclusion amidst a sleepless dream. An angel. You must be! How you exist in this cutthroat world is impossible, how else are you so full of light and joy? A sliver of heaven itself.
✧ Once he has found himself content with his conclusion, he grows frustrated with the fact that his rival- his dark contrasting other half, seems so infatuated. He has no business being so close to you- his mere presence is like an iron cage around a dove.
Father Anderson can see the no life kings obsession with you, the way this beast has formed this 'claim' to you, and it repulses him. To see such an innocent soul in the sights of a monster enrages him to no end. However he can only deny his own hypocrisy for so long. You too occupy a section of his thoughts and heart, often thinking of you in prayer and requesting the lord of your safety and wellbeing. The irony of being no different from the vampire vexes him so.
✧ They already butt heads, ready to tear one another limb from limb. Alucard is possessive and protective of you, and definitely doesn't like how his arch nemesis is hellbent on 'saving' you from the evil soulless beast that sunk its fangs into you.
Just the moment they are in the same room, all you can do is sigh and rub your temples- inbound by the fighting that's about to go down. Like wild alleycats. 'here we go...'.
✧ Father Anderson wishes strongly for you to remain with him, away from the vile twisted hands of Integra- and Ultimately out of the jaws of her bloody hound. You'd be safe in his residence; away from the cold stone hellsing manor walls and the shadows that occupy it. You'd have sunshine, warmth, safety. You'd have no reason to fear; no reason to hunger, nor thirst, nor shiver from the cold. The church will keep you safe within its Holy walls. You will remain a soft soul, kept away from the monsters.
✧ Prepare to be questioned by this vampire hunter whenever your paths cross. 'how are you? Are you being treated fairly? Are you sleeping and eating well? Are you happy?'. Please assure this man's every inquiry, for even a hesitant falter in your words or a deflated expression on your face will warrant an extreme reaction from him. (And by that, I mean he'll hail an onslaught of insults upon integra and her seething vampire). He's so keen to sweep you away, so he'll grasp at anything to justify it.
✧ As you can imagine, Alucard is not a fan of his rivals intrusive nature towards his human. His beloved. Blood red eyes will glare venomously at the priest as he speaks sweetly to you, wanting to laugh at his onslaught of questions. Are you sleeping well? Of course you are, he sees to it himself. Are you safe? The safest place is in the eye of the hurricane, after all. What foolish inquiries.
✧ I think ultimately when your personal safety is in danger, they'll reluctantly team up. They have the same goal in mind- to keep you alive. Perhaps a part in themselves will enjoy the partnership. The contrast of their existences somehow meshing perfectly together when they're doing something they both have their sights on. They're both unstoppable, impenetrable forces.
✧ Still, they see no other reason that they have to like each other. They still butt heads like possessive alley cats, spitting their snide remarks and wit towards one another like their hail of bullets and blades.
"Really? Now you Don't see me cowering in the shadows of her room watching her sleep. It's rather pitiful, don't you think?".
Alucard finds his taunts amusing. His grin widening at his rivals words, chuckling lowly at his snide remarks. Does this man honestly believe he has any shame? Any embarrassment when it comes to you? This all but frustrated Alexander more, hence the neverending cycle of aggression towards one another.
✧ The boisterous taunts will only ever earn a few array of reactions. Either alucard will give a sharp toothed grin and shamelessly agree with his own infatuation, or snarl and glare. It very much depends on what's said.
"Do you really think that an angel like her will want an evil, soulless creature like you?".
Any prods at Alucard himself are met with deep rumbling laughter and snarling grins. He cannot disagree, father Anderson speaks the truth. He is a monster. In fact, it's frustratingly amusing to him.
"And yet, she is mine. Funny, isn't it, father?".
✧ Him seeing Alucard as a tick in your side.
A disease that refuses to leave.
Nothing good comes out of having a vampire attached to you. It irks him to see an innocent soul in the clutches of the no life king.
The hostility between them turns sour, more intense. It's not just a battle between unstoppable forces anymore- with you thrown in the mix, it's a hellfire of bullets and blades. Father Anderson wants to save you, and Alucard wants this bothersome human to stay away from his human. As said before, they will reluctantly collaborate if it assures your safety- despite their own selfish desires to be your own hellish tormentor and divine protector. An immovable object, and an unstoppable force.
✧ Just know, that no matter who you choose to remain besides, the other will be just as infatuated and stubborn. You'll be caught in a whirlwind, a force you cannot escape nor fight. What will you do? Will you grace the monster with your gentleness, or will you fall into the arms of a mad saint? That power lies within your hands.
I find their dynamic so interesting, they're the opposite sides of the same coin. I'd love to hear anyone's interpretation or thoughts on them!!!
#yandere hellsing ultimate#hellsing alucard x reader#alexander anderson#yandere Alucard#hellsing x reader#Alexander anderson x reader#yandere Alexander Anderson#yandere alucard x reader#hellsing ultimate x reader
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I've been seeing a lot of eurylochus hate on tiktok and I've come to rant about how you're allowed to hate him if you want to (I understand) but also, from my point of view, the man doesn't deserve it all. (this is in no way hate towards odysseus, I love the dude)
the way I see it, he literally is just a man. he's made mistakes, obviously. shouldn't have opened the bag, shouldn't have questioned odysseus in front of all the crew, shouldn't have eaten the cows...
but people are calling him a hypocrite for the way he shouts at ody for sacrificing 6 men when he was ready to run for his life when they were with circe. and stupid for opening the bag when he had one job. and dumb for eating the cows.
here's the thing though. eurylochus started out in the musical as the guy that's worried for the dangers that await, he just wants to get home, like everyone else on the ship. he's the first ready to battle for the chance of food to feed themselves and skeptic at polites' view of being nice. he's all "let's get our food by force and get going, we gotta get home" ("I say we strike first, we don't have time to waste, so let's raid the place and-")
but then the kindness plan sort of works. for a quick second, before they start to get slaughtered by a cyclops. odysseus gets them out of it because he's a great leader tho. smart and with a plan, the kind of man eurylochus has relied on for over 10 years. his brother.
but... his brother is tweaking a bit, he had this fight with his matron and lost one of his best friends along with idk how many men that we're under his care... anyone would be traumatized, even if Odysseus doesn't see it yet (I believe he had a time of denial where he wanted to stay positive like polites, but deep down he was spiraling). and eurylochus shows his concern in luck runs out. was he wrong for voicing his concern in front of the crew? absolutely. but I think eurylochus' brain was also tweaking. bro was worried and wants to get home. he also can't help but think how in his war experience, there's many plans that have gone wrong, people around him keep dying and so what if? what if one of his captain's plans goes wrong and they're all goners? and Odysseus understands!! ("thank you for the concern (...) I understand that we're tired, I understand that we're fazed"), but he tries to remind him to have faith in him. so eurylochus does. and I think he's always had faith in his captain, he just didn't trust the gods to be in their favour anymore, because lately, they haven't. he also voiced it at the beginning of the song ("don't forget how dangerous the gods are").
and then eurylochus opened the bag. big fuck up. and maybe it's too far fetched and I'm just looking for ways to justify his behavior BUT. I don't think he did it just to disobey captain's orders. if he had done it because he didn't trust odysseus then guilt wouldn't have been eating him later. I understand it might be because Poseidon suddenly showed up and killed most of the fleet like a minute after he did, that's a big possibility, yes. I also don't think he did because he believed the bag held treasure. he trusted odysseus' word over anything else, so when he said the bag had the storm inside eurylochus believed him. but what if, just what if, by opening just enough the winds would propel them to Ithaca? then again, if the storm was holding them from getting there in the first place why would a man desperate to get home try that? this is not my strongest argument tbh.
then he wants to leave the men as pigs and go home. he truly just wants to go home (10 years of war, a horrible journey back when it should've taken like a week at most, my dude just wants his mom to pick him up and take him home and honestly, same). but bruh. he's been the one that's repeatedly said that they shouldn't trust strangers or gods, reminding everyone to be on their guard, and suddenly his men see a woman and forget all about it???? the guy is traumatized, mourning, tired, and angry. on top of that they placed an enemy that his men should've easily been able to defeat had it been a regular woman and they ended up as pigs, so he really sees no way of beating her and getting anyone back. of course he wants to run away!!! safe whatever is left before he loses himself completely ("look at all we've lost and all we've learned, every single cost is so much more than what we've earned, think about the men we have left before there's none, let's just cut our losses, you and I, and let's run")
and that's exactly the difference between eurylochus in puppeteer and odysseus in Scylla and mutiny. eurylochus wants to run away because he doesn't see another way out. he's seeing his friends disappear one after the other either to death or to magic, and he's on survival mode. whoever is left, whoever is still alive, they should leave before they aren't anymore. they all need to get home. odysseus however, he's blinded by the need to get himself home to see his wife and son. he's the one that has to get home, and to ensure that, they have to pass by Scylla's lair, because if they don't go that way, Poseidon might get them and if he does, he won't let Odysseus get out alive this time. so if 6 men is what it takes, he'll do it. it's not running away, it's sacrificing.
i think the next turning point for eurylochus is actually mutiny. but here it's important to talk about how much the journey has changed him, odysseus, and their relationship and the way they see each other. like i said, eurylochus starts the journey worried about what's up ahead and, like everyone else, thinking only about getting home. but he trusts his captain with his life in every decision he makes. he also speaks for the entire crew. odysseus also starts the journey tired and thinking only about getting to ithaca. but he's got 600 men to think about as well. as captain, their lives and deaths are on him, and with every turn, he loses more and more of these men. like it or not, he's responsible for it, even if he tried his best, even if he didn't mean for it to go in that direction; he's in charge, he's responsible. it's sorta like when parents tell the eldest kid they're the model for the younger siblings.
but in the polyphemus' cave, when odysseus panics and eurylochus has to wake him up from his unresponsive state, it's not only a blow for ody, it's also a blow for eurylochus. he relies on odysseus to carry them through and he wasn't answering. they were all going through the same thing, watching their friends die, but he was the one that's supposed to keep it together the most. alas, they're all just men. and that's when eurylochus' concerns and picture perfect of odysseus start to show and blur.
odysseus still tries his best to lead with kindness like polites showed him, taking care of everyone as he should, but with every passing day and with every hardship, it becomes more and more difficult to do so. and then, just when he thinks he's about to get the answer that will save them all, by going down to literal hell, the guy with the answer tells him he won't get home to his wife and kid (the thing that's been keeping him sane and giving him hope throughout this shit of a journey). that everything they've done, all the kindness, all the being nice, has been for nothing. he also realizes that he's taking way too long and he's losing too much, like his mom, who was left waiting. so he breaks (monster).
throughout this whole thing, he never doubted eurylochus would be by his side, and he lowkey neglects and takes him for granted. dismissing when he wants to tell him something ("whatever you need to say can wait some more, of that i'm sure" in puppeteer, and if he'd let him talk he probably would've been able to prevent mutiny, but he was too distraught and wanted time to think), and he was warned in keep your friends close too, even if he didn't know it. he was also warned by the prophet, but he still didn't know it ("i see a brother's final stand"). i think it's because while odysseus did want them all to go back home, at least during most of their travels, he mostly wanted to get home himself. deep down, he was always ready to make the sacrifices, life just hadn't forced him to make them or hadn't made the right circumstances or traumatized him enough.
eurylochus sees how the experiences change him from the outside, and what it means for the rest of them every time odysseus loses himself some more. but this is odysseus, it's his brother, the man he entrusts his life to, the man that's guided them through war and the underworld, taken them out of the weirdest troubles, and the man that's most desperate to reach ithaca. and the guy that's seemingly gotten his shit together (finally) and is ready to do whatever it takes, slay whoever now (different beast). so he'll pull through, right? he might be a monster towards the dangers that are trying to get them, but he's always done his best to protect them, so there's nothing to worry about.
so a part of eurylochus has trouble believing odysseus would really sacrifice six of their friends, because he doesn't want to believe it. but the smartest man he knows wouldn't just tell them to "run for their lives" when he's well aware they're in a fucking boat. and he is desperate. eurylochus asks, begs, odysseus to tell him he's wrong in thinking he didn't just do what he did, because he needs his brother to not have gone completely off the path they paved at the beginning of the story ("use your wits to try and say i'm crazy and mad, that this is all a trick the gods have sent").
but he's too far gone in his tunnel vision, and eurylochus has to think of himself and the men that are left too, who also want to get to their families. and at the rate this is going, he's losing too many friends. at first, odysseus was to blame only in the "he's responsible for all of us because of his role as captain", but he never meant for their men to die and he tried with all his might to keep them safe, but as of right now, he used them as bait and let them die on purpose. he can't stay in charge if he won't fulfill his role as keeper of them. so eurylochus stages mutiny. rightfully so? maybe, maybe not. i personally think he didn't do it out of hate, he just didn't see another out. but he wasn't a hypocrite any more than odysseus was, so in my opinion, he was justified.
anyway then they get to the sun god's island. and people like to say that he shouldn't have killed them cows. and this is one of the parts were the hate makes me lowkey mad. as humans, when we're pushed to a point of heavy starvation or anything that endangers our lives, we enter survival mode, where instincts take over and we do things we wouldn't do if we were in our right minds. and that's exactly it, eurylochus and the rest of the crew weren't in their right minds anymore. they're hungry, and they don't have the willpower odysseus seems to have. they've given up after everything they've been through, and they're hungry and don't think they'll make it home anyway, so they eat the cows. eurylochus can't help it, and even after all, he still cares for odysseus, but he doesn't believe in their chances anymore ("ody, we're never gonna get to make it home, you know it's true", "i'm starving/tired, my friend"). he's past the point of hoping, he wants it all to end, and he can only think of his hunger, the one thing he can actually do something about in that moment. ("how much longer must i suffer now? how much longer must push through doubt? how much longer must i go about my life like this, when people die like this?" he repeats it in plural as well, voicing the crew)
so in the end, he kills the cow. and then odysseus gets to choose and he chooses himself. he has to see his wife and he'll take any opportunity that allows him to. he's on survival mode too, just with a different goal, the one that keeps him sane and makes him push through everything horrible that happens to him.
the odyssey is a story that shows how its characters lose themselves to sorrow, each in a different way. so neither odysseus nor eurylochus are to blame for the way they acted, life pushed them to the edge and they each responded in different ways. it wasn't fair to either of them, they're just men that can only withstand so much.
#epic the musical#eurylochus#odysseus#they all just wanna go home!!!#all of them#not just ody#i love the development they both have even if uts tragic#it's very human and I think it's great bc of that
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What do you think about Shuro? And more specifically his relationship with Laios, and idk if you talk about ships but what are your thoughts on laishuro
I have this headcannon that Laios has some sort of unrequited crush on Shuro just because it's sorta funny
I ship pretty much everything. Like, as default I think everyone should kiss everyone 👍
If I'm honest I'm not much of a Shuro fan, he's a little boring to me and reactions to the chimera episode made me dislike him a bit lmao.
Ignoring the fandom I like him as a character and I LOVE his fight with Laios. Shuro's relationship to Laios is my favorite part of that character so laishuro pretty much saves him for me.
In universe Shuro is said to be quite the introvert even for people from his country. He's not the standard for someone from the eastern archipelago and it bothered me a bit when people used that to justify how he wasn't honest to Laios. I understand the idea that he comes from somewhere where reading social cues is not only expected but required but he's also someone who avoids confrontation and is quiet/shy in general.
Here's a bit from Maizuru's description from the adventurer's bible
"People tend to describe Shuro as "drab" and "shy" (...)" so specifically HE IS the exact type of person who would cause the biggest misunderstanding with Laios, just compare him to how his retainers or even his father and brothers act.
It took them saying they used ancient magic on Falin/seeing chimera Falin for him to finally snap, everything else he decided to just take it cause he thought it was better to take it than to confront Laios directly.
So besides the cultural differences you have to take into consideration this was pretty much the perfect storm brewing for that confrontation, and it's as much who Shuro is as a person and who Laios is as person that caused it.
I also disagree that the fight was a "they're both in the wrong" situation. Don't get me wrong, Laios was VERY culturally insensitive to Shuro and even more insensitive to his feelings, but there was nothing he could have done differently with the information that was available to him.
Specifically I see this comic being used to justify how Laios was to blame too, making Shuro into the victim
Like that's a major white guy move but he DIDN'T HEAR Shuro's name and Shuro never corrected him. I'd understand it if his reaction was "Your name is too complicated so I'll call you Shuro instead" that would be a major dick move, but Laios did not hear his name because Toshiro mumbled it, and for someone that forgot Kabru's name several times I imagine he made an effort to remember Shuro's.
Laios never met someone from the eastern archipelago before this, nobody ever explained to him he wasn't acting in an appropriate manner and most of all he thought they were friends. He trusted Shuro to set boundaries for him, he always respects boundaries that are set even when he doesn't fully understand them (Recalling the "I forgot about feelings.." when Chilchuck says it feels wrong to eat merman)
Instead of explaining ANYTHING to Laios, Shuro instead held it all in until it exploded all at once, he blamed Laios for not knowing something he couldn't know, and accused him of not being serious about saving his own sister.
Just imagine how this must have felt for Laios, everyone is always underestimating how serious he is, everyone accuses him of being stupid, clueless, and now this guy is telling him he isn't serious about saving the person he loves the most in the world and wants to protect always. To me this wasn't a "they're both in the wrong" situation, Shuro is far more in the wrong than Laios. But that's just how I see it.
That all being said, they understood each other finally and made peace after that fight.
And several times after this we see that Shuro really cares for Laios, and Laios still wants to be his friend. He even offered to save Laios if he fails (and he's sure he's gonna fail). So their relationship is dear to me, especially cause after this they finally have the foundation for a true mutual friendship <3
I think my dislike of Shuro comes from relating to him to be honest, it happens often that I see my own failures on a character and get angry at them for being angry at myself lmao. I also got a little annoyed cause I only saw people defending him, apparently those were made as a response to hate he had gotten? But since I never actually seen the hate it just felt annoying to see Shuro being white knighted.
Anyway I love the two of them together and I'm really happy they finally understood each other better. laishuro might be my favorite Laios ship, one sided crushes are great.
#Sorry I dont like being negative and I hope this wasnt too mean towards Shuro#its hard to be objective about him cause of personal feelings but I tried#Dungeon Meshi#Shuro#Laios Touden#Ask#Longpost#Rant#long post#Oh yeah I've said it before but I live under a rock I rarely know whats happening in fandom#might be part of the reason why only the shuro defenses found their way to me#dunmeshi thoughts
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Do You Need Help? — Let's Eat Together (Straw Hat Version)
When the Straw Hats notice that you're having trouble eating, each of them decides to help you, in their own way.
I. Luffy
At first, Luffy tries to eat your food and you let him do it so that no one notices that you're not eating. But in the end, it's Luffy who notices that something is wrong. He pays attention to you, you're his nakama, someone important to him. At the end of the meal, he asks you if you are sick. You tell him no, you just have trouble eating sometimes.
Luffy has an idea. He pulls you back into the kitchen by the hand and searches for leftovers. He finds your favorites and places them on a cool plate, one with dinosaurs on it. Like Makino did with him when he didn't want to eat his vegetables, Luffy takes your fork and imitates an airplane to make you eat. You open your mouth and chew a first bite. Luffy smiles.
II. Zoro
Zoro doesn't understand at first why you're having trouble eating. Eating is a mission, he accomplishes missions. But since he cares about you, he stays with you even after everyone else has left. He divides your plate into portions to give you goals to achieve and rewards you every time you finish a new portion.
He's patient with you, if not a little awkward. If you start crying because you're moved by his gesture, he totally freaks out and thinks he did something wrong. When he realizes they're tears of joy, he blushes and mumbles that it's normal because you're his crewmate and your well-being is important.
III. Nami
When that happens, Nami takes you by the arm and leads you under her tangerine trees. You lie down together under the blue sky, your head on her lap. She gently runs her hand through your hair and plays with your locks for as long as you need it. You don't need to justify yourself, Nami is here for you.
Eventually, she pulls a tangerine from a tree and, after carefully peeling it, offers you half of it. Her tangerines are her treasure, but so are you. If necessary, she feeds you each quarter by hand, without ever forcing you. It's up to you to decide. When you're ready to leave, Nami kisses your forehead, her lips sticky from the sugar.
IV. Usopp
Usopp notices immediately, because silences are sometimes the loudest. He doesn't ask right away, not in front of everyone, because you're a brave warrior of the sea and you deserve to be treated as such. He doesn't accuse you, he asks gently and he understands.
The days after, he sits next to you, because a warrior shouldn't have to fight alone. He tells you beautiful stories, entertains you and amuses you until you finish your plate. Once you're done, he winks at you and you know you're not alone.
V. Sanji
It takes you a while to notice that Sanji has noticed. But your food portions are slightly different from the others, smaller but more filling. Sanji offers you snacks during the day instead of a big meal at lunch and dinner. He takes care of you silently, without expecting anything from you in return.
When you ask him why, (shouldn't he be annoyed by the waste?) Sanji tells you that he knows what it's like to have trouble eating. No matter the reason, whether it's "important" or not, it's just as hard. And you deserve help, no matter if you did anything to "deserve" it. It's his role as a cook, and a friend, that everyone has a comfortable relationship with food.
VI. Chopper
Chopper is worried about you, eating is important. He doesn't want to overwhelm you but he wants to help you. You're his friend. He knows you take care of yourself alone but that doesn't mean you don't deserve a little helping hand (or hoof). Doing things together is easier, and funnier.
He makes shapes on your plate with your food, he puts little paper umbrellas in your glass. Everything to make you smile and appreciate what you're eating. Of course, he offers you food supplements and gives you advice on what kind of food you need, but both are as useful and important as the other.
VII. Robin
Robin makes you a cup of verbena tea with honey, she takes her time to do it properly, without using her devil fruit. She sits next to you on the bench with your thighs touching, and she takes your hand in hers before gently squeezing it. She takes out a book and start reading, not pressuring you but silently supporting you.
Slowly, you start eating and Robin encourages you to drink herbal tea between each bite. She stays with you, from beginning to end, even if it took hours. If you ask her, she reads you a passage from her book out loud to distract you. She never lets go of your hand.
VIII. Franky
Franky comes to you when you've been working too long and forget to come eat. No matter where you are, he finds you. He built the Sunny with the crew that would live on it in mind and he knows all your favorite places. He sets a plate down next to you and takes whatever you were doing out of your hands.
You need to take a break, he tells you amused. It's important for your body, you don't have any spare parts. He reminds you to drink water to avoid any future headaches. And, with surprising gentleness, and your permission, he places his hands on your shoulders and massages the knot of stress between your shoulder blades.
IX. Brook
When you're the last one to finish eating, pushing your food around on your plate and not being able to eat it, Brook stays behind with you. He makes sure that you don't face your difficulties on your own. He doesn't want you to suffer. You're not alone, those who love you are with you.
He pulls out his violin, his bass, or even drags the entire goddamn piano into the kitchen if you ask, and fills the room with music and joy. The melody carries you to new lands, each note telling a different story. And Brook weaves them in a beautiful song just for you. Because you are worth it.
X. Jinbei
Without you having to say anything about your discomfort, Jinbei takes you out onto the deck, the sun warming your skin, the waves hitting the hull, the wind playing with your hair. You inhale deeply, filling your lungs with sea air. Here, the smell of food that made you want to throw up is replaced by the salt of the ocean.
You continue your meal on the deck together, in the calm and serenity so rare to your crew. Being outside does you the greatest good. You laugh every time the Sunny hits a wave stronger than the others and sea water splashes across the deck onto you. You think of suggesting that the crew have a picnic while the weather is still nice.
+ 1 Vivi
Vivi suggests that you learn to cook together. She's a princess, no one has ever let her hold a kitchen utensil. You have no excuse. You accept anyway. Getting permission to use the kitchen is easy, Vivi just has to bat her eyelashes, but actually cooking is another story. But you're allowed to make mistakes and Vivi always seems so surprised at your failures that it doesn't bother you.
With your friend, you slowly learn to cook and love the food you prepare. You even pretend not to notice when Vivi "subtly" makes you taste certain foods to take note of what is easier for you to eat. She even has a notebook. You think it's adorable.
+ 2 Yamato
Yamato makes everything around him fun. He has a vision of life so different from yours but more than anything it is his thirst for discovery that fascinates you. Every moment is an adventure and he never forgets to invite you to share them. He wants to spend them with you, have fun with you. Meals are no different.
He challenges you, trying to eat as fast as possible and competing with the biggest eaters in the crew. He keeps asking questions about everything, about the taste of food, about the method of preparation. Despite you, his curiosity gets the better of you, you want to know too. He makes eating fun, even when it's hard.
Fun fact, tonight I didn't want to eat but I told myself that Tony Tony Chopper would be disappointed with me if I didn't. So I ate. That's why fiction is so important, it has such a big impact on our lives. So I decided to write this little something with all the Straw Hats to help you eat if that's what you need one day. If you want me to continue this concept, with other characters, other fandoms or other situations, do not hesitate. I will be very happy to do so. Disclaimer: I did not write this story while envisioning someone with an eating disorder. So it's not an accurate representation because it's not meant to be one. I just tagged it so as not to trigger anyone. Also, I am not a healthcare professional. Take care of yourselves <3
#one piece#one piece headcanons#one piece imagine#one piece x reader#strawhats x reader#straw hat pirates#self care#you are loved#domestic fluff#platonic relationships#tw eating issues#do you need help?
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🦌 || That doesn't justify
LottieMatthews x F!reader
Summary: Lottie really wants you
Warnings: SMUT, Dom?Lottie, oral(R receiving)overstimulation
A/n: HI BABYS, I'm back with this obscenity, I promise I'll improve the plots more...😍 If I disappear again they can hunt me
lottie knows that she was always the most responsible in your relationship, always pulling you when you started a fight, or when you were going to do something that would consequently affect you a lot in the future.
but now she can't think of anything else in her stupid little mind, she knows you're right, and there's something wrong because you're being more mature than she thought, she didn't know she needed so much just to fuck you or feel you on her fingers, but she knew that the shit of her responsibility was going to force her to take drastic measures
she did everything she could, when you were in the cabin looking for a bikini to take a bath in the lake with taissa she was watching you and predictably impossible you saw her and cursed her with words that didn't matter much to her if she could see her pink nipples
She is mentally cursing herself for being stupid and having ruined ALL her chances of having something with you when she was bitten by a small, more powerful insect that made her cough a lot and not want to eat...at least food
She tried to grope your breasts or blatantly kiss your neck and you let her, but when her hand went down to your pants you immediately stopped, and that was frustrating. but now she took the best chance of her life, you couldn't be cruel to her, so when she asked you with her puppy dog eyes to sleep with her you accepted, not knowing what was coming
when all the girls were sleeping including you she knew it was time, she slowly got up and knelt in front of you, when she looked at your face, red from the intense cold and then at your small body in front of her he was so sleepy, just moving through his breathing, the longer she looked the more she noticed, how hard his nipples were even without her doing anything "bitch". that's what lottie thinks
She slowly climbs on top of you, whimpering when she makes contact with one of your thighs, then puts her face on your neck and kisses him. One hand goes under your shirt, making you shiver because her hands were cold.
You whimper and move in your sleep as you feel kisses going to the other side of your body, Lottie drops her hands down to your pants, and finally you're not a stupid bitch and let her reach down to find your clit after years Even though she knew you couldn't, that was the best thought, Lottie reaches your pussy and surprisingly you are wetter than she thought, She takes her index finger and passes it through her entrance and then goes up, rubbing her small and already swollen clitoris while her face reaches your breasts, she wastes no time and her warm, welcoming mouth goes towards one of your sensitive nipples, making you scream in your dream, Lottie sucks him, and pays attention to him while she continues to rub your clitoris, with the other hand she reaches for your other breast and takes one of the nipples between her fingers and twists it until she feels you twitch and murmur, almost waking up.
then she moves away from her nipple and reaches back until she reaches her pants, she gently pulls it back making her skin burn with cold and she is more surprised, her panties are absolutely wet
" you're a bitch...I didn't even do anything...and...you're already like this... " Lottie gives a cocky smile and pulls out her pussy, a thick thread of arousal connecting from her pussy to her panties, lottie screams mentally when she sees how shiny your pussy is, she kneels and licks a stripe up to your clit, making you shudder, she ends up losing herself and puts her lips on your clit desperate for attention she sucks him and inserts two fingers at once into her pussy and inserts them at a fast speed while alternating between sucking her clit and her entrance
lottie feels your clit throb and swell against her lips and sucks harder, until she feels your walls tightening, squeezing your fingers, and feels you rubbing against her face as you whimper, still sleeping
"uh..l-lottie.. what i-...what are you...uhg..." you without thinking pull her face impossibly deeper into your desperate pussy "oh..shit...im.."
" Are you going to cum?..you're a whore..you didn't even know who you were but you're just enjoying this" lottie says muffled by her pussy and puts another finger in her pussy,
with a few more quick thrusts and lottie feels her juices on her lips taking everything with her tongue and sucking it clean, but then he goes up to her clit and sucks more
" It's too much...too much for me lottie" you say as you try to pull her head away from your poor red, overstimulated pussy from the old orgasm.
" Accept it like the bitch you are" lottie says roughly as she sucks your clit harder and raises a hand to your mouth as your moans increase the closer you get to your 2nd orgasm
"lottie...cum..Im coming.." you drawl and quickly while in another moment your back is arched and a silenced scream passes your lips
you are breathing heavily when you feel the hot mouth leave happily close to your poor pussy as you close your eyes and sigh unable to speak, but you feel a weight and a robust and tall body lay down next to you
"why did you do that?"..you ask breathlessly and the question hangs in the air as you only feel Lottie's hands now on your stomach "shh..." lottie silences you and puts her head on your neck" you need to put get your clothes back before anyone wakes up.."
#lottie yellowjackets#natalie scatorccio#natalie scatorccio x reader#shauna shipman#shauna yellowjackets#shauna shipman x reader#yellowjackets#yellowjackets x reader#natalie x reader#lottie mathews#lottie matthews x reader#lottie matthews#lottie matthews smut#lottie mathews x reader
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Daisy
Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem Reader [DARK FIC]
Description: Cooper Howard was not a kind man, he cared for nobody, but himself. Then he found you, a lost little dove, barefoot and crying, torn dress and big innocent eyes staring at him like he was a hero. He knew you’d be a burden, he knew you couldn’t survive in the wasteland, he was doing you a favor.
But he couldn’t pull the fucking trigger...
........................
[Graphic Description of Gore]
[6.1k words] 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 Chapter 3 "The Vault"
The flickering ceiling lamps only exacerbated the grim atmosphere, but they did slightly help with finding your way. They also hid the majority of the massacre, but you weren’t blind to the horrific scenes of vault dwellers strewn up and skinned and prepared for processing. You’d wretched and convulsed at the sight, clutching at the wall for support and fighting back tears of terror, and if it hadn’t been for your empty stomach you would have most likely thrown up all over the ghoul’s boots. There was so much food around and the raiders still chose their twisted ways and treated the corpses of their victims, human beings, as cattle in need of rationing and preparation. It was engraved in them, you guessed, after living so long in an apocalyptic, hellish world, eating people was as natural to them as breathing. You tried to justify their actions even if they made no sense, but after seeing cut-open bellies and spilled intestines and dribbling blood as the corpses were hung to drain, you couldn’t.
No matter how difficult a life, nothing could pardon such barbaric actions, not when the cans of cram and sacks of tatoes were right there. The raiders didn’t kill and butcher out of need, they did it out of pleasure, they drew with blood on the walls, bludgeoned flesh and bone to a pulp, stripped skin bare, and let bodies dangle like slaughtered pigs.
The more gore was presented to you on a rusty platter, the smaller your pool of empathy became until there was nothing but the screaming aftermath of gunshots sounding right above your head. You still jittered, but didn’t flinch anymore, he had you, you were safe with him. His boots echoed with menace through the corridors, beckoning the raiders to their end, while your delicate bare feet glided over grime and glass and chaos.
He used you as bait once the raiders were close enough to spot you, your history with them causing a sudden urge in them to let go of their logic and self-preservation and charge headfirst into a shotgun barrel. You would have minded, but he was death incarnate with a weapon, and you were so set on restoring the sanctity of your vault, your home, that you were ready to do just about anything. He killed until there was nobody else with a heartbeat except you and him. He killed so casually, that you almost believed it to be normal.
Once his end of the bargain was done, you started searching, straining both mind and vision for that particular room with a false bookcase. You guided him past the vegetable field, through the cafeteria, and rushed past the school because there were too many bodies piled up for you to stomach. He followed with minor protests, but mostly kept quiet and alert, acting as a guard hound while you pursued the location of the emergency storage. It was only when you ended up in the residential wing with a confused noise that he spoke up.
“You’re lost, Darlin’, admit it.”
You shot him an angsty look over your shoulder, arm outstretched in front of you as the white flashlight installed in the Pip-boy illuminated the vault hallway. When you enter the first home, just the structure of it is enough to tell that you’ve got the wrong place, you scowl, but trudge further inside anyway.
“I’m not lost.” you retort, refusing to let his remarks leave a stain on your photographic memory, and pace around the tiny complex. “It should be in this wing, I just need to find the right room.”
“Whatever you say…” he hums in mock and purses his lips, then opens the metal door wider before stepping in after you. He lets you explore, his eyes skimming with disinterest over the homey aesthetic he was so alienated from that it didn’t even ring a bell of nostalgia. His sights lock on the fridge and his feet react faster than he’d thought possible. Bingo.
The self-powered beacons perched over the whey field creep through the windows and it’s enough light to scarcely brighten the complex. It would have been a haunting sight if the ghoul wasn’t with you and a timid part of your consciousness tapped at you, reminding you that he wasn’t going to be present for much longer. You hadn’t planned on dwelling on such a thought for long, but you had no clue what to do once he was gone. Left alone to fend for your life with no skills or experience aside from dry theory accumulated from years of reading, there wasn’t much you could do except live off the remnants of the vault and try to keep the garden alive.
How would you be rid of all the corpses though?
It would take years to restore everything, or at least the parts that were salvageable, you’d never be able to swap the broken windows or replace the shattered light bulbs.
You scurried off the nasty reality of your future and proceeded to kneel in front of a shoe cabinet. Your feet were irritably sore and in desperate need of protection so you sunk your arms to the elbows in the darkness, the flashlight distorting under the pile of slippers and sandals.
“You’re not mad, Mister?” you ask and turn back to find the ghoul waist-deep in the refrigerator, rummaging as a cacophony of clinking bottles and stuttering plates soundtrack his rampage. He looked almost domestic and you had to bite down on your bottom lip to keep from smiling. “Cuz I haven’t found the storage yet?”
He resurfaces at your question, a bowl of mashed tatoes and a platter of grilled cram cradled in his embrace, traces of soy milk stained his lips. He wiped his mouth on his shoulder and tossed the food on the kitchen counter before resting on his elbows while flicking his tongue.
“Plenty of Pip-boys layin’ around.” he shrugs simply and rips his glove off before sticking two thick fingers in the tatoes. “Can make a small fortune outta those.” he offers you a toothy grin before licking his fingers clean.
“Please use a fork, Sir.” you grimace at his tasteless display before turning back to your task at hand.
“Mind your business, Smooth-skin.” he grunts and sinks his teeth in a thick slice of cram, scarfing it down as if he’d not eaten in days. He scoffs at your faint giggle and waves you off, too high on the idea of a proper meal to care for your coquettish snip.
You continue to dig through the assortment of old shoes, relishing his vocal satisfaction as he feasts. He chews hastily, taking breaks every few bites to wash down the food with whatever juice or milk he blindly pawed at on the fridge door. After tossing away a pair of white fluffy slippers and jamming your hand against a leathery surface, you pull out a left-footed cargo boot. It’s stuck, tied by the laces to something crammed deeper in the cabinet and you feel your way until you find its twin. Once freed, you look them over with a tilted chin and a contemplative look.
They seemed remotely your size, with a pair of thick socks they’d probably fit perfectly and they were preserved and sturdy enough to withstand some broken glass.
“You think they’ll miss these?” you raise the boots in display and ask before thinking about how stupid your question was.
The boiled corn cob pauses just shy of his parted lips and he stares at you like you’d grown a second head. The silence that befalls is one of realization with a twinge of melancholy and you avert your eyes as your mouth twitches into a small frown. The shoes are lowered to your chest and you hold them close in wordless mourning, face dimming, shoulders lowering.
“Oh right…frick.”
“They’re dead, Sweetheart.” he speaks softly, a hint of pity hidden beneath the layer of rasp. “Don’t think they’ll miss anythin’ anymore.”
In truth, you didn’t mourn the rest of the vault dwellers. They were strangers who’d shared the same living facility as you, there was no attachment there except for baseline human empathy. What you grieved over was your sanity, the solitude you’d be subjugated to and you’d grown accustomed to being alone, but after knowing the atrocities that had occurred and the reasoning for your lonesome existence, you doubted things would go well. You’d be forced to fend for yourself and there was no guarantee that another wave of intruders wouldn’t end up on your doorstep.
You picked at the soles of the boots absentmindedly, ignorant to the sympathetic stare targeting the back of your head.
You weren’t accustomed to caring for your needs, having been coercively babied all your life and lacking basic skills. The only bond you’d ever had was with your father and the knowledge that you’d eventually stumble upon his corpse riddled you in goosebumps. You dreaded that sight, eyes dampening at just the thought and mind failing to even picture such a sickening image.
You drag an arm over your drippy nose, sniffle and stand.
“Need socks.” was all you managed before hurrying to the bedside closet at the other end of the complex, hiding behind a wall and out of the ghoul’s prying gaze.
This was fine. You’d figure it out as you went. There was no point in worrying over things that haven’t happened yet, right?
You shone your flashlight into the closet's depths after flinging it open, searching for a ball of stretchy material, anything that remotely resembled a pair of socks. Shuffling came from the kitchen area, a throaty grunt, a few clanks, and the shattering of porcelain. Paying no mind to the ghoul’s ruckus, you sift through the clothing hangers, stopping only when an intricate floral pattern catches your eye. You tug at the cloth, pulling it off the bar and hooking a finger around the clothing hanger before straightening it out.
A dress, pretty and frilly at the bottom, littered with small hand-sewn red blooms, sparkling white and in pristine condition. It reminisced of better times when people reigned over a peaceful and bountiful land, when radiation existed only in the confines of nuclear factories and cannibalism was scarce and very taboo. Your dull expression softens with a doting smile as you coo over your new fit before tossing it on the bed.
Your search continues shortly after, rummaging and scanning, digging deeper until you find a small raft overflowing with undergarments. A pair of black tights and heavy woolen socks later, you pass an anxious glance at the edge of the wall separating you from your overly grumpy bodyguard before tugging the straps of your dress off your shoulders.
“What the hell are you doing in there!?”
“I’m changing!” you rush to answer, shimmying out of your dirty, torn attire before sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling the socks over your feet. After taking note of the now gooey gash on your ankle, you decide to postpone wearing tights until it’s been cleaned and bandaged. You swallow back a lump of anxiety and make disinfecting the wound your top priority…once you find the storage unit that is.
“Hurry up!”
Once the boots were secured, you neatly tied them up and scurried to slip on the new dress in case the ghoul decided he’d had enough of waiting and barged over in his typical unruly fashion. It fit you so well, but there was no time to enjoy yourself, you tossed the tights over the junction of your elbow and patted down the frilly edges grazing your knees.
The world came crashing when the zipper got stuck.
“Freaking fiddle sticks…”
You tried and failed to resolve the dilemma, patting blindly at your upper back, reaching over your shoulder, and coiling an arm behind your waist. Even when your fingers did manage to find the zipper again, it was jammed and no amount of vigorous tugging helped and you didn’t want to apply more force lest you cause a tear. A small whine, dainty and annoyed, bubbled in your throat and you hung your head back and stared up at the ceiling in despair. This had to be some sort of cruel joke, a jut at you for daring to find a sliver of happiness.
“Uh…Mister?” you call out, weak with embarrassment as you slowly succumb to the walk of shame. You round the corner slowly, apprehension in every step and boring a shameful visage. “I need help…please.”
Your lovely bounty hunter had sprawled out on the counter, his hands resting on his now full belly, one perched up knee swaying nonchalantly as his other leg kicked dangled leisurely in the air. His hat rested over his face, obscuring his vision as he breathed slowly, in utter bliss for the first time in a long while. The shotgun once secured on his back was tucked under his neck. The empty plates were carelessly chucked to the floor when he’d made room to lie down and now you knew what all that ruckus had been caused by.
It would have been quite the heartwarming sight if you weren’t currently wallowing in self-pity.
He rouses at your beckon, sitting up and readjusting his hat and giving you his best acid scowl for disrupting his peace. Then he notices your pained expression and skittish shifting and quirks a nonexistent brow.
“The hell’d you do?”
Ah yes, the sardonic question a parent would ask their misbehaved child after yet another minor disaster. That’s exactly what you need at the moment.
“I – ” your teeth grit, jaw tightening in discomfort. A sad puppy-eyed stare plastered on your droopy features as you stand next to the counter before reluctantly turning around and brushing your hair out of the way to expose your back. “ – It’s stuck…”
A snort of laughter fills the dim complex and you shrink in utter humiliation, fussing at his reaction like the wimpy thing you’ve been demoted to. He turns in his spot and his knees encase your frame as he slopes closer.
“Can’t even dress right.” his berating smirk nips at the back of your neck and earns a sigh of defeat.
Cooper Howard wasn’t a man to regret many things and he’d done enough awful deeds to have him kicked out of a church if he ever dared set foot in one. Not putting his glove back on, however, would be one of those regrets. When his disfigured fingers dipped beneath the hem of your dress to hold it steady as he worked the zipper free, he brushed against your skin and it was so soft that he nearly missed the feeling altogether. A pang of something awfully warm wrapped around his ribcage like a vine and he was so shaken to the core that he forgot he needed to breathe.
You felt like the past, all lovely and nice and tender, as if ripped from a time he struggled to recollect and let go of both, and you were thrust in his hands and he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do with you. All charming smiles and sugary words and naivety that had him torn between hatred and incessant thirst for more of whatever it was you did to him. So addictive yet so detrimental.
He chalked it up to lust, a guttural craving any normal man would feel when presented with a cute little thing like you. But it wasn’t that at all. It had nothing to do with any carnal human craving.
You were a gateway to what he used to have, a walking memory of who he used to be.
It made sense if your story was true. Being tended to all your life while locked in a lab orchestrated to be your private room, it would leave anyone silk-skinned, bright-minded, and burden-free. But that didn’t ease him, it didn’t falter him from feeling like he was drowning.
You were the even tune of midnight jazz, a slice of hot apple pie, and a fresh cup of Joe on a Sunday afternoon; a little piece of heaven he’d never asked for and a cruel incarnation of damnation he’d always feared would catch up to him.
“Is it fixed?” you peep, saving him from the jaws of his mind, and look back, happily unaware of his self-destructive internal dialogue. The darkness hides the strain hovering over his distant gaze. “Did you manage?”
“ ‘Course I did.” he barks and is back to normal in an instant, pulling the zipper up before letting you go. “Done.”
He makes sure to secure his glove back on and cusses out the invasive thoughts.
“Thank you so much!” you grin with glee and throttle away like a victorious toddler. “How do I look?” you twirl with pizazz, then remember the tights dangling off your arm and bunch them up in one hand in case they took away from your dashing performance. “Don’t mind those.”
The ghoul scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief at how stupidly charming you are, and slides from the counter before reaching for his shotgun. You take his reaction as a good sign, satisfied with your new, clean look, and brush down the dress with the back of your hand.
“Les go.” he clicks his tongue at you, motioning with his head before fiddling to load his weapon. “Can gawk at yourself plenty when I’m gone.”
His remark receives no pushback. You follow suit, back into the benevolent corridor with hanging dead lamps, stepping carefully next to him with Pip-boy pointed straight ahead. It felt good to not have to constantly worry over a stray piece of debris catching on your feet anymore. Now your footsteps sang in tandem with your bounty hunter’s albeit much lighter and more frequent. With eyes darting from wall to wall, you peeked into each adjacent living complex. The sting in your ankle continued, snapping at your every move and your grip on the tights hardened. Your nails sank into the material for purchase as impatience nibbled at your nerves.
Apartment after apartment. Nothing even remotely resembled the room you were looking for, but it had to be here somewhere. The vault plans didn’t lie and neither did your memory.
You nearly tripped over a stray cable while ogling a bright pink suite layered with fuzzy rugs.
“You sure you ain’t just sendin’ us on a wild goose chase?” the ghoul asks while cracking open another steel door for you to inspect, then dips his hat and lilts “Ain’t gonna shoot you, Sweetheart. Don’t need to lie anymore.”
“I wasn’t lying, Mister.” you look up at him with hurt and he keens, blinking slowly at you and deciding to leave it at that.
Whether it was due to exhaustion or that look, he wasn’t sure.
If you were this set on proving to him there was a storage full of medical supplies and provisions he wasn’t going to stop you. There was plenty of food and drink to stay a while and his current bounty wasn’t notorious enough to top a fresh bed and a full meal. The caps weren’t worth it compared to what you’d offered him and he had enough vials to last him a while before any feral symptoms started poking through.
“It’s somewhere here, I know it is, these are just the wrong rooms. But the map showed it was in the living quarters to the north. It has to be a bigger space and with a bookcase in – ”
A hand clasped gently over your mouth, cutting your ramble short.
The ghoul grips your arm and shines the Pip-boy at the end of the hallway, the tense look on his face making your stomach knot. He takes one step forward, leaving you to linger behind him and you would’ve liked to believe it was to protect you, but it was most likely to get you out of the way.
You hear his gloved hold tighten around his shotgun and bite back the need to ask him what he’d picked up that you hadn’t. You never noticed the almost silent steps that had slowly crept closer and yelped when you were roughly tossed behind him as he spun around. The shot nearly left you deaf and the bloodied kukri barely missed your shoulder, having been a hair away from the strap of your dress.
You shriek along with the gargled gasp, latching onto the bounty hunter’s coat. The loud thump that followed made you duck and wrinkle your nose.
“Oh my jeez. Oh my God!” you glimpse from behind him reluctantly, forcing your tightly shut eyes open.
The raider twitched, clutching his blown-to-bits shoulder as a puddle of blood formed beneath him. He choked for air, coughing out a storm of crimson and it made your knees weak. The smell of gunpowder was sharp and overwhelming and your head spun with a nauseating speed.
“Guess I missed one.” the bounty hunter leers and the absolute insouciance at his actions sent a chill up your spine. He unclasps the hunting knife strapped to his belt and twirls it between his fingers, then tosses you a warning glance. “Look away, Sweetheart. Ain’t wastin’ another bullet on this shit.”
The heels of his boots clinked closer to the raider convulsing on the floor and with a shaky sniffle, you forced your legs to move. The pleas of a desperate man rendered defenseless and feeble, the churring taunts of his merciless killer who squatted over his prey with blade readied. A sickening noise punched you right in the gut, so raw and revolting that you covered your ears the moment you stumbled into another suite and slid down behind the front door. Clutching at the sides of your head, fingers curled and nails delved into your scalp to ground you, you died a little inside.
The reality of your existence, the consequences for being alive hit you full force, ripping you out of the tranquility that had befallen both you and the ghoul. Peace never lasted, and neither did joy, not in a world bathed in chaos and destruction.
The two curt knocks on the door made you flinch.
“Come on out, Scaredy cat.”
“I’ll – ” with a twisted tongue and a clenched throat, you murmur out words to keep him away because you didn’t want to see the blood he was wiping off his knife. “ – I’ll be right there. Just looking…for a false latch or something.”
What a horrible excuse…but he didn’t question it and you were so thankful.
His steps crinkle over broken glass and pieces of discarded metal plates. The tension lifts off your shoulders when he leaves with a grunt. You rub at your face with a timid breath, jaw easing as your lips part to accommodate your forceful inhales. The gloom of the apartment embraced you in your self-indulgent grovel.
To imagine someone lived here only a day ago was to concede to hysteria.
He saved your life again. And still, you were left shaken and bothered and speechless and burdened by what would have happened if he hadn’t been there to rip you away from death’s claws. The possibility of there being more raiders skulking about hadn’t been a thing until this one nearly chopped your arm off. Your arm was still there though, intact and function. All because of him. A dilapidated, volatile guardian angel that looked like a grilled chicken and sounded like a fizzled-out radio station and he meant more to you than anything ever had in your short, secluded life. What were you supposed to do without him when he finally left and you were sealed into a blood-soaked, corpse-ridden underground bunker with just your thoughts as company?
You slapped at your puffed-out cheeks ferociously.
This was fine.
It wasn’t fine, but there was nothing to be done, you’d work with what you had, you’d manage somehow. You had to.
The ghoul whistled you over, loud and clear enough for you to hear even while tucked away safely in your corner. Enough spiraling. You stood and with a determined huff, exited the complex only to see him standing in front of an open door with crossed arms and a tilted head. He noticed you from the corner of his eye and nudged his chin.
“This it?”
You poke your nose inside the spacious room.
It was the vault president’s office, completely untouched and eerily still, made to resemble the quarters of high-ranking officials from the olden days. Thin sheets of wood were plastered over the walls and the floor was carpeted and clean, the large windows overlooked the fields and dining area. An elegant leather chair was neatly set behind the paper-ridden desk in the center of the room, and yellowing files peak from every single drawer and bookcase. Everything seemed organized in spotless order, even the mugs on the coffee table were arranged corresponding to their color. There were so many paintings strewn about, past vault presidents, men and women in distinct white coats, same as the one your dad had always worn, supposedly scientists.
He leaned against the doorframe as you barged inside, watching your newfound zeal with a half-smile.
You pressed the tip of your middle finger to the wall and slowly extended your other arm at a precise angle, then moved it barely to the left. With a calculative spark imbued in your eyes, you take deliberate steps and move your stiff arms mechanically as you work out the location of the hidden storage. It looked ridiculous and you were well aware as you maneuvered about like a possessed puppet, but without any tools to point the way this was your only crutch.
“Three feet to the left, diagonal to the glass case with the cat sculpture. One step back and turn to what should be west. North should be to the right, then. And…”
“There.” you state once your hand points at a particularly overdecorated bookcase. “That’s it. Has to be.” you step towards it with determination, throwing away documents and an old plastic globe until there was enough space to grab at the shelves. It creaks when you give it a solid tug to test its stability. You bite your lip in contemplation before turning back to the ghoul. “Think you can move this, Mister?”
“You better be right, Sweetheart.” he tutted, but complied, pushing himself off the doorframe before joining you. He towers over you and rests his hands against the polished wood. “Move.”
You did as told and gave him some room.
He managed to slide his fingers against the back of the bookcase and spread out his legs before letting go of a throaty groan and pulling with all his strength. Your knee jittered with the need to step in and help, but you hesitated, succumbing to your manners and letting him do the heavy lifting. The last thing you wanted was to insult his capabilities or hurt his man-pride.
The case toppled with a thunderous crash and its contents spilled over the carpet, some trinkets bounced off your boot and rolled under the desk. The wooden planks that had been hidden behind it were slightly caved in compared to the rest. A thick carving resembling a door was engraved in them along with a small rectangular shape just a few inches to the side.
This was it.
“Hallelujah.” he chuckles and kneads his shoulder while flexing it, brows raised and eyes settled on the hidden entrance and glistening with wonder. “Guess you weren’t lyin’ after all.”
You clumsily step over the mountain of books and smashed wood, arms extended for balance until you’re close enough to press down on the rectangle. With a whirling hiss, the wood slides to the side and a hole perfectly shaped like a Pip-boy appears. You stuck your hand in without a second thought, beyond impatient and on the verge of crying because your ankle was burning so intensely you wanted to just rip it off.
The door gave way with a few audible clicks and the storage lit up instantly, you guessed the lamps didn’t depend on the vault’s fusion cores, another little trickery to keep this place hidden. The power management engineers would have most likely noticed the excess electricity being used for a room that wasn’t supposed to exist. A smart move and also for nothing, everyone was dead.
The cynic in you cackled.
You were quick to rip your hand free and enter, spotting the hefty array of medical supplies gathered over a metal cart, driven by pain and discomfort and lacking the self-control to keep it a secret any longer.
“Well, I’ll be…” the ghoul gapes at the overflowing storage, pleasantly surprised and nodding to himself. “Consider your debt repaid, Missy.” he plunges his knife into a sack of tatoes and promptly empties it.
His arm swipes over a metal shelf of stimpaks, greedily bunching them up and into the sack as he licks his teeth at the upcoming profit.
When you don’t reply to his remark he finally takes his gaze off the mounds of supplies and medicine and looks to you.
You’re a mussing mess, abrupt jitters causing bottles of pills and packages of bandages to pile at your feet as you scour for something specific. Initially, he opts to leave you be and focus on his own task, but when a disheartened noise slips past you he caves.
“The hell’s got you scramblin’ about like a cornered rat?”
You wince and turn back with a trembling frown. Your search had come out fruitless, the plan was spoiled at the absence of any antibiotics and you internally cursed for not stopping by the med-bay earlier and checking there first. Then again, you needed a key card and you weren’t fond of checking the pockets of decapitated vault residents just for that. But your open wound didn’t care for your antics. Now your ankle was probably red, still oozing and by how it rubbed against your sock, it was even more irritated and sickeningly sticky.
His stern look was relentless and you sucked in a breath before speaking.
“I can’t find any antibiotics…for my ankle.” you swallow a sob like a child caught red-handed trying to sneak past a broken vase. “The cockroaches – One of them bit me or cut me I think and… And it was fine at first, but then it started getting infected and I thought I’d find something here to help, but I don’t think only spirit will help so I thought antibiotics, but I can’t find any and it hurts so bad now – ”
You halted when his jaw stiffed and did nothing when he stomped close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off him. The sack was slumped by you and as he glared you simply averted your eyes to the floor.
“Sit.” he commands in a rigid tone, forcing you on your rump as the coldness of the tile floor seeps through your dress. “ ‘N take it off.” the tip of his boot nudges your foot before he tugs his pants up and squats in front of you with elbows resting on his thighs.
It’s only after you slip off your now-ruined sock that he cringes in annoyance and grabs your calf to turn it for a better view. Angry red outlined the open gash and the dead skin that still clung to it was soaked in colorless stickiness. He pressed on the side of the wound, shooting down your attempt at escaping with a scalding look, and more goo was excreted.
Radroaches were clean creatures, he’d seen them grooming themselves more than hunting for food. However, being mutated by radiation did tend to add some spice to their bites and you trudging around barefoot for a good full day had only added to the accelerated decay. Nasty little cut that was.
“Stupid git.” he hisses and stuffs a hand in the sack. “Nothen’ a lil stimpak can’t fix though. And lucky for you, we hit a goldmine.” the large syringe glints under the blaring white lights and he pushes at the base to snuff out any air bubbles before lowering it to your calf. “Now hold still.”
The sight of the needle makes you stiffen, a plethora of memories flashing past your widened eyes, and you’re overtaken by such a raw desire to get away that you nearly kick him off balance in your struggle.
Too many years stuffed full of constant medications and transfusions and scalpels and cuts and taking blood samples and fucking needles. All your life you’d suffered through nothing but medical treatments and the first day spent away from such hell had you realized just how traumatizing it had all been. Obligated to just take it because there was no alternative, you were never given a choice in the matter. You weren’t ready for this again, seeing that stupid needle so close to your skin made your heart drop in your stomach.
“Wait. Mister, wait. Wait!” you grab onto the metal bars of the cart as his grip on your calf tightens painfully.
“Quit fussin’!” he all but growls and pulls you back in place once you’d made some progress in slipping away. His tolerance for your display vaporizes when you land another inadvertent kick to his knee. He lets your calf go and reaches for the back of your head, grabbing onto a fistful of your hair and jostling you still. He’s right in your face and spitting acid. “What the hell’s wrong with you?!”
“The needle.” you hiccup and wrap your sweet little fingers around his forearm. Tears swell in your eyes from both pain and fear and it does something to him again, but he doesn’t relent. “The needle…I can’t – ” you whimper and plead, crumbling in his hold. “Please don’t, Mister…”
He’s taken aback. The menace drains from his gaunt features, baring snarl gone, and his grip on your hair loosens.
“You’re kiddin’ me.” his eyes roll from you to the stimpak as if you’d said the most mind-blowing bullshit he’d ever heard. He dangles the wretched thing in front of you, watching you follow it incessantly, not even blinking. “You’re scared o’ this?”
You make a noise of displeasure and avert your face when he brings the stimpak closer. For once his mocking laugh isn’t welcomed. When he’s assured you’re not just being a brat and actually hold a crippling distaste for the needle, the ghoul pulls away with a scoff.
He thinks, rubbing his knuckles against his jaw while you sit between his knees, immobilized by his grip.
“Well shit...” he lets you go and you bonelessly slump back into the cart.
He’s not one for comfort, doesn’t know what words to use to help you overcome your dilemma; he can’t just jam the stimpak in and risk striking a bone, can’t slide it in gently because you’ll go into another fit. He could just leave…
“Look at me.” he beckoned and snapped his fingers at you. When that didn’t work, he grabbed your face and squished your cheeks, forcing you to obey by giving you a sharp jerk. He leans close enough for you to feel his breath hit your nostrils and of course, it smells like cram. “I said look. At. Me.”
Your eyes go from dazed to bulging when you feel the needle press back against your calf. A pathetic ensemble of bleats accompanies your heaving chest and you hold onto his wrist like it’s the only thing keeping you from dying on the spot.
“Shhhh – shhhh – shhh, ‘s okay Sweetheart.” he hushes you with peculiar softness, stifling your meek complaints and scolding your eyes back to his own when he sees your attention dart down to your leg. You wince briefly at the prickle and his pinkie and ring finger leave your cheek and settle at the edge of your jaw, pressing down and rubbing ever so lightly. With an even push of his thumb, the syringe is emptied. “There you go…” he gives your cheek a good pat and leans away, resting on his knees. The pack of gauze you’d carelessly tossed away in your rampage was picked up and ripped open. “The good news is, you don’t need no stitches…but how d’ you intend to survive if you can’t even use a stimpak?”
“I’ll…” you smile in pain and it’s so crooked it rivals his. “I’ll figure it out.”
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Chapter 4 >>>
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