#not really a vent just awarness

[gisemojis]

You deserve the death threats, kys you fucking loser

ok.

every time someone tells me to end my life, a piece of me breaks. it gets harder and harder to find the strength to keep going. i'm doing my best to be strong, but it feels like a losing battle most days. i feel like i'm drowning, and there’s no one to pull me out of the darkness.

i am not okay. to those who have pushed me to this point, you need to understand the impact of your words. you’ve crossed a line, and your cruelty has hurt me more than you could ever know.

all i ever wanted was to make emojis. your harsh words and relentless bullying have taken that away from me. now, instead of feeling joy, i feel a constant weight of sadness and despair.

i just wanted to have fun. but now, i feel terribly sad. your words have made me feel like i don’t belong here, like i’m a burden.

i want you to know that your words have real consequences. they have pushed me to a point where i don’t know how to explain.

i am already dealing with chronic mental health issues every day for 9 years straight. i cant take such words anymore.

for anyone who started following recently, i have gotten 20+ kys messages from anonymous accounts. I deleted all of the posts.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

[teddybeartoji]

genuinely don't understand the ppl who like to point out very obvious things like scars and other skin problems liiiike what is the reaction you're hoping for lmao my dad took one look at my legs and the scars and went "it's ugly" ya no shit sherlock hjsadhgsghdghsahgd oh no i do it bc i think they look so so very beautiful mf can you please keep your fuckass comments to yourself

[bubacorn]

[ilovedthestars]

i understand and appreciate the sentiment behind them but god, as someone in the process of getting an art degree and intending to pursue a career in art, those "don't get a job doing what you love because you'll start to hate it" posts are depressing

[user-name-h3re]

If Nurf ever does ONE horrible thing or ever so slightly CONSIDERS hurting Preston in the new episodes i'm going to projectile vomit and gouge my eyes out the ENTIRE REASON HE WENT TO CAMP WAS TO BE BETTER WHY IS HE THE ONLY ONE THATS HASN'T GOTTEN BETTER WH-

[sovereignsystem]

It makes me so sad that so many systems feel like they can't use the language they're comfortable with for fear they'd be confused with an endo. (Plural, fictive, etc)

-💤 (It/Hy)

[13eyond13]

actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

[irritablepoe]

Tumblr is dangerous for me bc it actively encourages my need to scream into the void and hoping for an answer

[lesbianfakir]

Ok genuine question is it normal to be expected to hide/lie about your mental illness symptoms to friends? So obviously there’s trauma dumping but this isn’t about that—is it normal to just be expected to pretend you’re happier than you are because if you express that you’re doing bad one too many times people get frustrated that you’re not doing better?

I keep having friendships where I support them through difficult events so I think it’s a safe place but when I start to be honest about my depression they either get frustrated with me (more specifically frustrated that they can’t take my problems away) or distant. I know it’s hard to see a friend in pain but it also sucks to be in a position where you need to be constantly pretending to be silly and happy because that’s what they signed up for. I’m tired of being ‘too much’ for people, you know? I work hard to support my friends through their problems and I’m good at it, but lately I’ve found I just have to deal with everything on my own.

I’m tired of the stigma around mental illness because so much of my life I can’t even talk about for fear of being too depressing. I understand why it is the way that it is but that doesn’t make it any less isolating. It hurts that if I’m having a day where I’m really scared I can’t tell anyone about it because it’ll freak them out and I just have to wait for it to pass when I know just being around another person would help ground me.

Anyways ramble over I genuinely hope this is a problem specific to my situation and you all have people to help you through dark times. I truly hope we’re not all secretly left alone with our demons

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight

[giallos]

a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"

i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now

[jareauwalker]

girls when they're spiralling and have nothing to distract themselves with so they're just in it™️ <33333

[sunnys-aesthetic]

tw for vent art below i suppose.

ADHD

[getvalentined]

God give me the strength not to name names when pointing out the hypocrisy of Person A telling Person B to "improve their craft before starting shit with other artists" when Person A literally traced half their early body of work and then convinced everyone that the other artists who pointed it out were lying abusers even when there were literal fucking overlays proving it

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.