#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years

[13eyond13]

actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

[lilysdaydreams]

Boyfriend-girlfriend feelings ~

Pairing: Corpse Husband X Reader

Genre: Fluffy stuff.

Warnings: Um none i think.

Summary: Request where fem!reader has like a husky voice and it’s not like super deep but deep compared to the other female streamers and she joins the lobby w corpse and stuff as a substitute and everyone is supposed about her voice and calls her the girl version of corpse bc she’s faceless too, except her personality isn’t bc she’s super optimistic and stuff. Anyways her and corpse bond and later admit separately on stream that they like the other, then fluff? Thank you!!!!

A/N: This is my first request and I went a bit overboard lol, this is nearly 3000 words so Anon I hope you enjoy lol, but yeah I did my best, I really really really  hope you like it :((

~~~

You yawned and took a sip of your bubble tea before turning back to chat.

“Hmmm, what should we do now, everyone? I think I might end stream now, it’s been like nearly 4 hours.” you mumbled glancing at the time.

It was only 10, so it wasn't that late, but you’d been on stream for 4 hours and you needed to finish your essay.

Your phone lit up with a notification and you glanced at it to see that it was from Sean.

Sean: hey wanna play among us? We need one more person.

“Uhhh or maybe not.” you said to everyone, smiling as you saw the chat light up with excitement.

Quickly typing out a “yessss, send me the link.”, you let your viewers know that you were gonna be playing among us and then quickly opened up the game.

Opening up discord, you joined the group and realised the only person you actually knew here was Sean.

“Shit” you said, biting your lip.

“Guysss,” you whined to your viewers. “The only person I know here is Sean. I’m so nervous now.”

The chat blew up with “you can do it!” and “we believe in you!” and other supportive messages.

You smiled seeing all of this. Your community may be small, but they were probably the best ones out there. They were sweet and kind and there was barely any toxicity in the group. You were only a small streamer, doing it as a hobby since you started college. You only knew Sean because he had messaged you himself, inviting you to a game of Phasmophobia because he'd liked your previous videos where you played it. You had been shocked then, barely being able to comprehend that Jackspecticeye decided to Twitter dm you, like what the actual fuck. That had only been a month ago, and you had played again a week ago with him, but your friendship was still new so even though his presence made you a bit comfortable, the anxiety was definitely overpowering it.

“Okay, okay I can do it” you mumbled under your breath trying to hype yourself up.

Quickly joining the call, your ears were filled with the noise of everyone yelling about the previous game. Sean quickly yelled at them to shut up once he noticed you'd joined.

"Everybody, I have our tenth player, this is Y/N, say hi everyone."

Valkyrae was the first one to yell out "Hi" with everyone else chiming in as well, and you had to breathe in deep to stop yourself from fangirling over Valkyrae.

You awkwardly smiled and said "Hey guys, I'm Y/N, Its nice to meet everyone."

There was silence for a second and you narrowed your eyes, wondering if you were muted or something.

"Wait what oh my god, you're Y/N from Y/C/N?" Valkyrae said her voice going quite high.

"Oh, that's where I know you from," said Sykkuno suddenly, leaving you staring shocked at the screen. Sykkuno and Valkyrae knew who you were? What the actual fuck?

"Uhhh," you said eyes flickering between the chat and the screen. "Yeah, that's me, I didn't even think you would know who I was, um oh my god."

"Oh right, now I remember, you did a cover of dreamy night, right?" chimed in Lily, and by this point, you were almost having a panic attack.

"Oh god, you saw that?" you questioned, whispering because you were worried that you were gonna wake up from this dream soon.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Lily, "Your voice is like total opposite of mine, so it was really cool to hear! Your  voice is really nice!"

"Awww, thank you so much, that's so sweet of you to say," you said, wringing your hands, not really sure what to say. What the actual fuck, how were all you favourite streamers here and ALSO knew about you huh? You wondered if this was a dream.

"Yeah what the hell, your voice is so deep." said Poki.

"Right, when you said 'hi', I literally thought it was Corpse for a second," Dave replied, chuckling a bit.

You made yourself take big breaths, trying to make your heart calm down.

"She's not very much like Corpse though" Sean chimed in. "She's very sweet, and gets scared so easily."

You unmuted yourself and gasped exaggeratedly. "Excuse me Sean, but who was it who screamed so much in Phasmophobia and nearly made my ears bleed?

"That game is FUCKING scary okay?" He screamed back, making everyone laugh in the background.

"Hey guys, what did I miss?" a very deep voice came in suddenly, and you realised this was the 'Corpse' they were talking about. You had seen his popularity on Twitter and seen a few clips of him playing but god damn hearing his voice in your ears like that was fucking amazing. You squeaked, thankful you were on mute.

"Holy shit, his voice is deep," you said to the chat, immediately getting responses such as "We know!," and "SIMPPP" as a joke from others.

Giggling you unmuted yourself when Sean introduced you to Corpse, and nervously said "Hey", dragging it out at the end, "Its nice to meet you!"

"Oh yeah!" said Sean as if remembering something. "Y/N is faceless as well, so she kind of is like the  female version of Corpse."

"What?" "Oh my god." "Brooo, thats so cool"

You didn't have time to say anything back as Sean decided to start the game at right that second.

Everyone went quiet and you sighed in relief as "CREWMATE" flashed across your screen. You did not want to be an imposter right now, you wouldn't be able to stomach it.

Quickly hiding your chat, you moved to admin and started humming something to calm your heart down. This had been a crazy 5 minutes for you, and you really needed to calm down. Taking a sip of your drink, you talked to the viewers as you did the card swipe.

"I cant believe Valkyrae - oh I should just call her Rae, right? considering I'm playing with her right now, oh my god, ANYWAYS, I can't believe Rae and Sykkuno know me. Like Lily even saw my cover. Ahhh! I didn't even know she saw it, and now I'm just playing with them, im literally shaking," you rambled to the chat as you went towards electrical to do the tasks there.

You saw Poki there, and you both ran around each other and then you followed her as she started walking to reactor. Suddenly the lights went out, and you gasped as the report button went red, and you quickly pressed it.

"Okay okay," you said before anyone could speak. "Me and Poki met up in electrical, we went to reactor and I was doing the one two three four five six seven eight nine ten task, and she was doing the Simon says and then lights went out and I went off and then suddenly the report button was red. So the kill happened right now."

"Did you see anyone?" asked Toast?

"Nope, I saw no one."

"Well, it couldn't be Sykkuno, because we were both waking to electrical together," said Corpse,

"Yeah it couldn't be Corpse, we were together at the last moment," confirmed Sykkuno.

"I was in weapons," said Rae.

"Navigation." - Dave.

"I was already at Electrical with uh Lily I think," said Sean.

"Yeah, that was me." confirmed Lily.

"Toast where were you?" asked Rae.

"I was just going into navigation."

"Leslie?" you asked, noticing she hadn't spoken up.

"I was in weapons."

"Well one of you is lying." said Corpse softly making everyone laugh.

"Gee, I wonder what this game is about?" Sean replied, teasing him.

"Maybe it's a self report?" questioned Dave.

"No oh my god, it's not me," you said quickly defending yourself. "Poki and I were literally doing our tasks, I swear."

"I don't think it's Y/N, why would she report the body, there was no one around, and she could  have easily just vented somewhere."

"Are we skipping?" Leslie asked.

A chorus of "Yeah" came in so you quickly skipped. Going into weapons you did the shooting task there and then started towards navigation, letting out a gasp as you got killed suddenly.

"ITS SEAN?" You yelled, completely shocked. "How could he kill me like that, I just started playing with them, and he was the one who invited me as well!" you whined, brining the chat back in again.

Opening up the dead chat, you messaged ":(((((" and Poki did the same back. You talked to the chat for a bit, moving around until you got to electrical where Corpse was.

"Guys, it's Corpse, lets follow him," you said, smiling a little.

Just as he was leaving electrical, Toast came in and killed him. You let out a small gasp as he self-reported and pretended that he'd just stumbled onto the body.

"CORPSEEEE" you typed into the dead chat, laughing when Corpse responded with ":((((" just like you had done.

"Whose the other one?" he asked and you quickly typed in "Sean :((("

Corpse: "*GASP, he killed you after inviting you to the game?*"

You: "Ikr!"

Corpse: “that’s so rude, we should stick together next game so we don’t get killed easily."

You: "Yes let’s do that!”

You guys continued talking until the next round started.

"SEAN!" you yelled immediately. "How could you kill me like that, when you were the one who invited me?" you whined.

"Exactly Sean, that was so rude." Corpse chimed in, supporting you.

"Ah, uh, exc -" spluttered Sean, "Please, oh my god, I can't handle the both of you at the same time, it's too intimidating."

Everyone started laughing and you giggled as Corpse accused Sean of avoiding the question.

The next round started and you laughed when you both got double killed five minutes into the game. Seems like your strategy of staying together wasn’t that good.

You played a few more games with everyone, getting imposter with Poki once. Finally, you decided that you really should finish that essay that you had due.

Finishing your fourth game, you let everyone know, pouting when everyone groaned.

"It was really nice to meet you, Y/N" said Rae, "We should definitely play more!"

Everyone chimed in then and you said bye to everyone as you left the lobby. Just as you were leaving the voice call, you heard Corpse say "Bye Y/N" again, but you couldn't reply because you just left.

"Whoops," you mumbled, feeling a bit bad.

You quickly said bye to all the viewers and ended the stream.

Opening discord on your phone, you sent a friend request to Corpse, being shocked when he accepted in a second. Wasn't he playing still?

Typing out the message, you sent it before thinking about it too much.

"Hey, sorry, I heard you say bye at the end, but I left right then. Just wanted to let you know that I wasn't purposely ignoring you or something."

“Ahhh no worries,” he replied.

Then a second later; “I checked out your covers btw, you’re really good.”

“Oh, thank you so much,” you replied typing quickly. “Your songs are great as well. I have to admit they’re a bit too intense for me lol, as I normally only listen to ballads and stuff, but I loved agoraphobic with al my heart :((( literally listened to that non-stop for a week when it came out lol.”

Okay maybe I went a bit overboard, you thought staring at the message.

“Oh Thankyou, that means so much to me. And yeah, I know that not everyone likes this type of music, don’t worry about it. Actually, I was thinking of doing another Lo-fi type of song like Agoraphobic, but I’m still working on it.”

You settled into your chair, continuing on the conversation.

It was an hour later that you realised that you’d just been texting Corpse and not done the essay like you planned to.

“Sorry corpse, gtg,” you messaged, putting a string of crying emojis after.

Putting down your phone, you finally started working on your essay, ignoring the butterflies you’d had in your stomach for the past hour.

~~~

You guys kept talking. The next day he asked for your number, saying it’d be easier to text there than discord. You guys messaged for ages. Your conversations never ended because even if one of you had to go, you would just pick up the conversation from where you left. It was by far the easiest friendship you’d ever had, and if you were being completely honest, you’d kind of developed a small crush on him.

A few weeks later, you were streaming among us again, this time with another group. You died quickly in the first game, so you pulled up chat and started asking some questions.

“Corpse?” You asked reading one of the questions. “Ah I don’t know guys, I don’t think Corpse is coming to this game, he’s quite busy with his music and everything, and I don’t think he’s available today.”

“Do you like his music?"

"Yeah, his music is great. It’s sometimes intense for me,” you admitted giggling, “but I do love it. I actually really wanted to cover Agoraphobic or MISS YOU! They’re both my favourites and I’ve been wanting to... hmmm.. maybe I’ll do a poll on Twitter and see which one more people want?”

Suddenly a message caught your eye; “I kind of have a crush on corpse.”

You laughed out loud, saying the username and replying “Yah I think everyone who meets corpse ends up having a crush on him, like how could you not, he’s freaking perfect.”

When everyone started spamming chat though, you realized you might have said too much.

“Anyway guys look, I think Sykkuno might end up voting Rae, and oh he did it,” you laughed as the “defeat” screen came up and Rae started yelling at Sykkuno for not believing her.

~~~

The next day, Corpse was waiting as Rae asked people to join the lobby. Answering questions from his chat, he saw one about you and read it out.

“Is Y/N gonna play?”

“Ahhh, I don’t think so guys, I think she has an assignment or something. It’s been a bit since I played with her, it would have been nice to but yah I don’t think she’s available.”

Suddenly all the chat was talking about was you.

“Do you see the clip where she says she likes you?”

“Bhahah I think she has a crush on you lol”

“Did you see that clip?”

Corpse furrowed his eyebrows confused about what clip.

Another comment caught his eye.

“Do you like her?”

“Do I like her? Of course, I like her, it was amazing to meet her, her covers are great, she’s so nice, also she’s like the exact opposite of her voice, it’s so funny." He laughed remembering the photo you'd sent of all your plushies lined on the bed. "Yah no she’s really sweet, we’ve been talking a lot recently, it’s been fun.”

“SIMPPPPP”

“Omg he actually likes her.”

“CORPSE X Y/N”

“Oh don’t make her uncomfortable guys,” Corpse huffed as he saw the comments. “Yah I kinda like her, but y’all are too much” he muttered, before realising exactly what he’d said.

“Wait no, what.” he stuttered, “Um oh look Rae's found some more people.”

~~~

When you finally decided to look on your phone, you realised that your Twitter notifications were blowing UP. Quickly going into the app, you clicked on one of the mentions saying “CORPSE X Y/N, ITS REAL I CANT BELIEVE IT.”

Tapping the video underneath it, you listened as Corpse talked about you, blushing when you realised what it sounded like. But...he couldn’t actually have a crush on you... right?

He was probably kidding, you told your beating heart. Probably just wanted to go trending for something. A voice whispered in your mind that Corpse wasn’t like that but you didn’t wanna give yourself hope.

Just then your phone rung, making you jump and stare shocked at the screen when you saw Corpse with a yellow heart next to it. Corpse had never called you before.

Quickly picking up the call before it could go to voicemail, you shakily questioned “Hey corpse?”

“Uh hey,” he said, his voice sounding way too deep. “Sorry I normally wouldn’t call but like, I just got off-stream and saw the Twitter trends and everything. Um, I like - didn’t wanna, um make you uncomfortable with all that so I can tell them to back off if you want?”

“Um..” you said stalling, trying to process everything here. Deciding to oho full in, you just blurted it out, “Do you actually have feelings for me?”

“Like not just friend feelings", you continued, "but like the boyfriend-girlfriend feelings if you get what I mean.”

Immediately after saying that you wanted to slap yourself. Were you in 2nd grade? Like who the hell says boyfriend girlfriend feelings?

“Uhhh, I- I kinda do I guess, I like you but like it’s okay if you don-

“I do," you said cutting him off before he could finish.

“I um, I also like you.”

“Oh.

“Yah”

“Cool”

“Cool”

~~

Should I do a pt 2?

[slowdesire]

oh my god ur post about being uncomfortable around ppl who know you and everything from ghosting and to moving accounts and tumblr being the only safe social media bc of its anonymity,,, i've been struggling with this for years and i didnt even know it had a name of its own, i thought it was just how i was or maybe a symptom of regular anxiety at worst and idk if this is something you'll relate to but its especially anxiety inducing for me when ppl who know me from different settings meet and i suddenly have to reconcile who i am with both people, or how ive always been okay with strangers seeing my art but never ppl that actually know me bc then theyd know too much. anyways sorry this is rambly and ik u said what u like abt this site is not having to talk to anyone so pls dont feel pressured to respond i just had to write this down somewhere bc it is a Revelation

it's totally fine that you sent this in! i actually deal better with asks and especially anon asks compared to messages. hope it's okay im responding, if you need me to take this down just let me know :-)

im glad you could relate to my post (which i deleted, sorry😭) on some level bc i know how great it can feel to be seen or understood by others in that sense. i feel the exact same way as you in terms of struggling with people from different social circles meeting, thus making you reconcile different sides of you in a way... i feel like that's an experience a lot of people have, not just limited to avpd or neurodivergence or anything, but it really is such an alienating conflicting kind of feeling. this was especially hard for me whenever i'd date anyone because other than when i dated a friend we all knew, my close friends would always want me to introduce my partner and even if that was perfectly reasonable i was always just internally like sorry i can't do it.... i can't let any of you meet one another. right now im wondering if that was one sign i wasn't all too ready to be in romantic relationships (and im still grappling with my conflicted feelings abt romance and being single rn). that was a huge tangent on my end lol but im just like you, i actually thought i was struggling with general anxiety for nearly forever!!! so the diagnosis for avpd was kind of shocking ... but also made a lot of sense in retrospect. though even right now, after several months, i don't quite know how to deal with it bc i can't afford therapy rn. but the label and knowledge abt it has been useful nonetheless. there isn't as much research on it and it's not as widely talked about, so i'm still trying to figure out what will help me out.. probably DBT (because CBT tends to stress me out for some reason). ANYWAYS that was another tangent ... im not saying you should say you have avpd or anything bc really there are so many overlaps with general anxiety, social anxiety, avpd, and even other personality disorders but !!!! i am just glad my random vent resonated with you and helped you reflect on things. im always trying to reflect too, since this is something i struggle with pretty much everyday in more aspects than just social life, so it's really nice to hear from you :-) making each other feel less alone :-)

[ripplestitchskein]

I just wanted them to explore emma, to explore killian-to challenge their charas, to do Anything. engagement news never rlly meant anything if there was nothing truly going on & they jsut keep snuffing out any ideas of the season having anything to do with emma & killian & im tired, & mad & exhausted. Colin & Jen made so much of who these charas r & it could all be gone & a&e r fucking wasting it bc they prob dont Care. Im sorry this is hitting so hard. I dont kno that u want 2 hear this ghjnkdf

It’s okay Nonnie you can vent. I know I am.

It super sucks, I’ve never been this angry and upset about a television show before. It’s really not even the show I’m upset about, I honestly feel like they killed my favorite characters.

Just all the love and energy I poured into this show, all the metas and analysis and signal boosting and trying to get people to engage with related posts and tweets. There is so much work and love from me on here. Like somewhere in the past is a Steffie who spent two days writing a Python script and individually categorizing official tweets to prove a point about characters and a couple she loved.

There is an entire novel's worth of meta in here about these characters and this ship.

This is an entirely different blog than when I first started this show.

This is probably the final season and it’s all Regina and Rumple and scraps and praying we get at least one decent scene per episode. That’s fucking depressing you know?

I’m sure there will be a few squee worthy moments, I’m not saying there won’t be anything at all, but I’m not going to be watching it play out live I can say that much.

I’ve pretty much decided that I’m sticking to fanfic, and the episodes I loved, and I’ll keep writing the stories I want to read until people stop reading them. I’ll catch up on the show in my own time, and I will make damned sure they don’t get credit in anyway for me watching it. My insignificant petty way of feeling like I control something.

My boyfriend pointed out today that this show has made me more sad than happy for a very long time. He said he couldn’t actually remember the last time I came bursting into the living room squealing about a spoiler. He said he was surprised it came back this weekend because I haven’t said a single word, and before I was having him buy wine, and make special dinners and all that in celebration of something that brought me a lot of joy. *I* forgot about it.

I loved this show. I loved it so so much. Killian Jones was so so important to me. The most important. I have never loved a character like I loved him.

Emma Swan was strong and inspiring and she had life experiences that were similar to my own when it came to the Neal situation and I really connected with her on a whole different level.

Their love story was inspiring, it was beautiful and real while still being fantastical and magical, and I lived to see them on my screen.

I watched Seasons 2-5 at least 100 times. No joke. Just over and over it was always on. I haven’t rewatched an episode of this show since Dark Waters.

It’s just… gone. Whatever I felt, whatever magic there was, has been completely destroyed to the point I didn’t even realize the premiere was this weekend until I saw zengoalie’s countdown. I look at gifs of scenes I love and I just feel sad.

Like that’s crazy to me, you know? How could I go from obsessive levels of enthusiasm to almost hate levels of anger in such a short period of time?

I honestly can’t believe how much has changed and so quickly. I don’t want them to have the power to ruin these characters and this relationship for me any more. I don’t want to see what horribleness they have planned for them in the name of drama and shocking twists.

I don’t want to see something that meant so much to me sidelined and destroyed. So I’m not going to.

[haeroniel-doliet]

thoughts on ice skating

supposed to be under read more, sorry if mobile is weird! 

i mean ive missed multiple weeks and alll in all the society/ practice is quite weird like the beginners teacher dude keeps rambling off about like olympics skating or how higher levels have this and this move and look ive taught that advanced kid over there and heres how they do that technique rather than concretely helping us develop those basic skills that were apparently flawed at. like how do i do that correction youre just showing me bc clearly im about to fall over bc idk how to do it. and i tried being all professional and interested and make the most of it for myself, but cant help the frustration when it goes out of the easy shit into the stupid spins because apparently i just cant do it. be it my skates are too thin or too sharp blades or my ankle is not strong enough  or enough support thats why its going bad? idk even but i cant spin. cant do it. idk i kinda know multiple things that are fucking up and its frustrating and annoying and its just not gonna work yknow i can kinda turn 180. no i cant do the multiple spin spin spin that seems so easy. is it my skates or is it my inadequacy? im not getting new skates tho, im only here because i have my own skates a while back, im clearly so shit that im not even gonna be a milkly good figure skater im not gonna get in on that. i might as well do fuckin ballet rather than this. im actually looking into that kinda now id love to try. 

ice skating is dumb in the way that ive done it since im a child but never as a hobby, like ive done it with most the time my own owned skates since like 3-4 yrs old like young. but school only ever teaches forwards and basic backwards (apparently its cheating backwards) and basic stop and turns and idk things you learn somewhat naturally and my coolest tricks always been sausages (or bubbles as they call them here) and those are apparently baby level beginner stuff and im just :| yeah i can do those tho. and now ic an do them backwards which is kinda cool, and im more confident one foor skating/gliding. but like never as a hobby so i guess none of that matters, i did try to do intermediate and could keep up to an extent but i guess my basics are so shoddy i wasnt doing well enough for my own standards, and even now looking over tho the teacher is better and more encouraging, everyone seems to be doing crazy tricks and jumps and spins and one leg up fancy shit and im just... ya. guess i cant be over there. cant do it. lemme just stand with mr blabber mouth. it is frustrating bc yeah maybe i wanna be that intermediate level, maybe i wanna go skate with my family/old friends and show off bc look i can do like 3 4 cool things im almost a real skater. but fuck i guess my skates are limiting me and i should try use the rental skates? that are dull af but have better support? idk, ive got blisters from them the last i used them and i dont particularly wanna use shitty skates. but i dunno even what to do, i dont particularly wanna drop on some fancy skates just to find smths wrong again and im shit and cant do it. maybe id suddenly improve and feel a lot better about myself and take it as a proper hobby but realistically nah. im actually kinda frustrated i dont even know if i wanna continue. yes i have a friend that goes, yes i have skates and you only get better by spending time on ice and id like to be better bc only recently ive realised how shit i am, (trust me its confidence boosting to have skated with bambis on ice who are afraid of moving at all and then i can at least go kinda fast if i want) but i cant even turn properly, cant stop properly neither. its just ugh, i dont think im getting as much out of it as i should be, i dont know if its the teachers fault, my skates fault, or my own personality/inability. 

no im not doing the dumb kinda competition theyre organising in a few weeks. the criteria for intermediate (that i havent participated in enough anyway recently) is fuckin hops and drags (my skates do not drag! to sharp? idk) and spins and fancy shit i havent even ever tried to. yeah sure i could for the fucks of it do the beginners bc its uh, bubbles forward and backwards that i can do, and i can kind of do the chassee thing kind of. but i cant do a god damn spin for the life of me apparently so i might as well save my 5 pound and ‘pride’. ugh. besides the fun part was that he was talking abt the higher levels leg up glide thing, and had us do it against the wall bc ‘afraid well just face plant’ and i guess i can bring my leg up decently high when supported by the wall which is fun, and otherwise im not the worst of the 5 beginners that showed up. but yeah im just frustrated with it over all. dunno how long the clubs even gonna continue for, theres only one friend there that i would continue for which isnt great considering means i dont consider the others easy to make friends with or ones i could be fond of enough to over look the struggle of the hobby. 

i think my plan was to call my dad not only to ask if they had a preference for when my friend would fly down to visit  so she could buy her tickets, but i guess also i was going to say about the skate apparently being too soft and too thin/too sharp and express this frustration that i still cant do shit, that maybe even using unsharpened (and uncomfortable) rental skates could be better for skating and just wonder what im even doing abt this all. clearly not competing but idk even if we could just come to observe/skate for fun during the competition etc or if i should just skip to catch up/pack and clean idk. also im kinda annoyed at myself otherwise bc i just tuesday saw with J and shes off for a few weeks and i made such a good verbal plan saying id do an email and a summary im weeeeeks behind on on tuesday evening and prep for class today (didnt prep but it went okay anyway) and today i would have gone to class and to skating with a healthy meal (check check check) and come home to sign up and send the other email thats been bugging me, and then do my report due midnight i havent even started on. said id work after midnight if it was taking so long so id have it done..... i had a nap instead. not even a god damn shower i was planning to have tuesday and now its 3 am on thursday. ayy. sure i could skip classes tomorrow to shower and clean my room and maybe complete a task before i drag myself to an archery arrow lesson and badminton after (no thatll be fun, but ill be back rly late) but ive skipped so many classes and i wana see and be with my friends i might as well go, and if i get abandoned work on work somewhere in between classes and maybe actually get something done? gasp. shock. and still get home and do smth like clean and do dishes to be productive while anticipating fun thing, do it and come home and actually sleep bc im fuckin that over eh. but fuck. its not just that i have 1 overdue summary from two weeks ago, i have another summary due thursday night. maybe, in between classes i could do both, miraculous i guess yes but would be cool. do two summaries, send off both and an apology email for the other, take the spare chance to book myself another experiment if theyre still running and if not send an apology email bc i missed one in class one and ask what now. and then maybe even since the calendar is out get my 3 planned viewings booked so that i can see them b4 going back home and dont get fucked. maybe even add the corrections i got yesterday to my other report. wow wouldnt that be great. i could do them now but i should get to sleep right now heres hoping ill remember the corrections then. and then id need to look at the video for the assignment that was due yesterday and bring up the files and find the debrief and begin filling it in and maybe email researcher if i need to, and do the easy part. so that maybe logical me in a clean room will fill in the ethics part between classes on friday or after class or gasp on saturday bc im not going to st andrews after all... its a lot.. i hate that two days are wasted already. ugh. uGH. well get by. lets just try stay positive, now im going to sleep and wake up to go to my 11 class prepared to do some easy work between classes. yes yes. its probably weird that who ever has read this far has read all this shit and maybe i should just keep my shit personal and not post on my main blog bc surprisingly its open to anyone who just slightly would wanna see it,and though you likely dont know me in person its a bit weird huh idk. maybe this is here so my cousin can read it if she happens to , maybe its so that you can read it and be like ya i do that and i think like that too pretty cool im not alone, maybe its for me to read back and not have to be exposed to my worst ugly vents on my plain vent blog and can remain positive thomaybe not. its under read more anyway. lets try bury it guys.