#not being able to STOP to IDENTIFY their DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS

[headslikekites]

rewatching apothecary diaries I love maomao so much she's just like fr

[sophieinwonderland]

I sometimes feel like certain people just really want an extremely sanitized version of syscourse where they can debate the validity of endogenic systems with just no endogenic systems present.

I get that impression from the recent confession and similar posts trying to "both sides" the issue, suggesting "pro-endos" need to be interacting more with anti-endos, erasing the fact that that many pro-endos are... you know... endogenic. And we shouldn't be expected to hang out with people who define themselves by being anti-us.

I get this impression from the SN members who speak wistfully of how much more civilized discussions are in their traumagenic-exclusive syscourse channel where everyone could get along, which I don't think even included mixed origin systems.

I get this impression from the bizarre syscourse brackets at the beginning of the year that some people talked about as being able to bridge the gap between pro-endos and anti-endos, only for the participants to be made up entirely of traumagenic systems with no mixed origin systems and only one endogenic system in the bunch who got called out by the brackets blog for allegedly spreading misinformation and was taken off of the brackets for reasons that were never clarified.

While these things all claim to want to bring pro-endos and anti-endos together... in practice, they seem more concerned with uniting anti-endo traumagenics and pro-endo traumagenics.

It feels like there's a certain brand of neutral and unaligned systems whose solution to syscourse is just ignoring the fact that endogenic and mixed origin systems exist, and that we're never going to be able to get along with a group that hates us for our immutable characteristics.

We will not tolerate those who spread intolerance of us. Full stop.

Spaces where endogenic and mixed origin systems exist are never going to look like the the Survivor's Network syscourse channel where syscourse is a cordial chat amongst friends that's free of all the yucky people who are actually fighting for our validity against anti-endos.

Because even if some traumagenic systems who identify as "pro-endo" (even with caveats like "pro-endo sysmed") can find acceptance there, that's not an option for the rest of us. (Including many purely traumagenic systems who are just too different to be accepted in anti-endo spaces.)

And if you think for a moment that this is possible, then you're completely and utterly out of touch with the endogenic and pro-endo community.

I am not saying that you can't be friends with anti-endos either. But for the love of the gods, let go of this bizarre fantasy where endogenic systems will just decide to make nice with a group that is literally defined by their antagonism towards us.

Stop pretending this is at all a "both sides" issue.

[clanoffelidae]

I’m always scared of jinxing myself by opening my mouth and saying I’m ‘not physically disabled anymore’ or that ‘my cyclic vomiting is gone’; because there’s no cure and we don’t know why it sometimes just… stops. There’s not even really any medication to manage it you just kind of… try to work through it and manage symptoms and side effects as best you can. Namely, the dehydration due to excessive vomiting being the main concern. (Have had abdominal spasms due to becoming dehydrated from it before. Took me 5-6 minutes to army crawl six feet to the shower, wiggle out of my clothes, and stretch up to turn on the hot water to try and soothe the muscles I was in so much pain. It was also like 4am and I was at a homestay in another country so fuck me I guess lol. Fortunately my homestay actually spoke English; which worked out because I speak Spanish decently well so I was making an active effort to converse with her and practice before I got sick, she was extremely helpful because I mainly needed help with specific vocabulary/phrases and she could help me translate them, and then when I got sick and was so exhausted I could barely communicate in English anymore I was able to drop the Spanish and still be understood and given help. That’s a tangent tho lol sorry)

And that’s true of a lot of physical disabilities, sadly, so I’m sure many of you can understand why I’m scared of it. Because I’m one of the lucky ones, even when my condition was at it’s worst I had more good days than bad. One of the defining characteristics of CVS is that in between episodes you would never know something is wrong with us.

And sometimes people just… ‘grow out of it’, so to speak. It most commonly affects children, even being thought of as a pediatric disease, and then just goes away when they get older. I was a weird case, I had two sporadic episodes in high school and then it hit me hard basically as soon as I got to college; it only ever happened when I was an adolescent/adult.

During the worst of it I would have episodes as little as 3 weeks apart; I’d be in severe agony and vomiting profusely for around 24 hours, take several days for the pain to go away (the episode was over but I was sore after the vomiting), and about a week for the brain fog and lethargy to clear up. I knew my stomach was empty, I knew I had nothing in it, but it felt so swollen and I was convinced it was about to tear open like an overfilled balloon. The condition is believed to be related to migraine headaches and I believe it - my severe migraines are the throbbing kind where it feels like my head is about to explode, and that is the exact same kind of pain I was feeling in my stomach. Those same, unique qualities that differentiate the pain of a migraine from another headache were exactly what I felt in my abdomen. I was also light and sound sensitive, seeking darkness and solitude; although it didn’t cause literal pain to be exposed to light and sound like with a migraine headache, it stressed me out for ‘seemingly no reason’, overwhelming me and increasing my pain as a result of the stress and desire for the stimulus to go away.

My last episode was in 2019. I only even had frequent episodes for a little over 2 years.

And I’m still deathly afraid of every new medication I try because I don’t know why it stopped. Nothing about my lifestyle changed, nothing about my habits. I was never able to identify any triggers like with my headaches, it just sort of ‘happened’ as far as I could tell.

I have no idea why it started and no idea why it stopped.

And I’m constantly fucking terrified that I’ll fuck something up and it’ll come back, that this time of peace and ‘health’ is temporary. I’m so fucking scared because it hurts so fucking much and I don’t want to be in pain again.

I don’t want to be in pain again.

And I don’t know why I’m bringing this up or what I’m trying to say really. I guess I just want to get my fears written down because they’re circling in my head again.

And I guess I also want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry to everyone who suffers with a ‘hidden’ condition that no one believes you about, I’m sorry for everyone who is barely dragging themselves through it day by day; in pain, exhausted, and with the people around them burnt out on offering help because ‘why can’t you just get better already’.

I’m lucky, I’m so very, very lucky that for whatever reason my episodes just… stopped. They just stopped. And even still I live aware of the sword dangling over my head, never believing that the dragon is actually dead and is only just sleeping, still there to be reawakened if I mess up (when I don’t have the slightest idea what or where that invisible line I must never cross is), and I never dare to say that I’m ‘cured’ because I don’t believe in miracles like that. It’s a miracle that they stopped, and I’m grateful for it, but I will never dare to believe that they couldn’t come roaring right back any day.

Disability can happen to anyone, and I’m vividly aware that my old pain could be stumbled into at any minute, along with any number of other things, and I’m so sorry to everyone who still lives with their pain that is a constant companion. Mine is sleeping, but I remember it well for how it burned like the sun, to the point that I was able to identify sporadic episodes years after the fact that I had thought only stomach bugs because they were so horrible.

Pain is good, but not like this.

Pain is meant to be a teacher, a protector. A warning system of ‘hey! Don’t do that! We could get hurt!’ Your body’s way of keeping you safe and alive; don’t touch the fire because it hurts, don’t touch the fire because it could kill you. Pain is life’s way of steering you away from death, of keeping you safe and alive; letting you know there’s damage so you know to keep that part safe while it heals and use it less. Because when you’re about to walk into the flames your body doesn’t have the time to sit down and explain it to you gently, it has to alert you ‘NOW. PULL BACK NOW!’

Pain is meant to be a good thing; it’s meant to keep you alive and to protect you, to teach you about danger so you know how to be safe, and go let you know when you’ve been damaged so that you can make sure to give the damage time to heal.

But it’s not meant to be there all the time; it’s not meant to be constantly flashing the alarms when there’s nothing to be done, your body trying to help and let you know that something’s wrong when there’s nothing you can do. It’s not meant to linger until it breaks you, to weigh on your shoulders until you struggle to see the good past it. But just like with any good thing, so often does it become ill.

Pain is a constant companion for too many of us, and I’m so, so sorry for that.

You shouldn’t have to be strong.

I’m sorry.

I just wanted to let you all know that.

[vspertilian]

though many people think bruce has an eidetic (photographic) memory, this isn’t actually the case. he actually has a condition known as hyperthymesia. hyperthymesia is a condition in which an individual possesses an extremely detailed autobiographical memory of his or her life. people with hyperthymesia remember an abnormally vast number of their life experiences. american neurobiologists elizabeth parker, larry cahill, and james mcgaugh identified two defining characteristics of hyperthymesia: spending an excessive amount of time thinking about one’s past, and displaying an extraordinary ability to recall specific events from one’s past.

individuals with hyperthymesia can recall almost every day of their lives in near perfect detail, as well as public events that hold some personal significance to them. those affected describe their memories as uncontrollable associations; when they encounter a date, they “see” a vivid depiction of that day in their heads. recollection occurs without hesitation or conscious effort.

it is important to draw a distinction between those with hyperthymesia and those with other forms of exceptional memory, who generally use mnemonic or similar rehearsal strategies to memorize long strings of subjective information. memories recalled by hyperthymestic individuals tend to be personal, autobiographical accounts of both significant and mundane events in their lives. this extensive and highly unusual memory does not derive from the use of mnemonic strategies; it is encoded involuntarily and retrieved automatically. despite being able to remember the day of the week on which a particular date fell, hyperthymestics are not calendrical calculators like some people with autism or savant syndrome. rather, hyperthymestic recall tends to be constrained to a person’s lifetime and is believed to be a subconscious process. it has also been suggested that superior autobiographical memory is intimately tied to time-space synaesthesia (the ability to perceive time as a physical construct).  

hyperthymestic abilities can have a detrimental effect on cognitive capacity. the constant, irrepressible stream of memories causes significant disruption to everyday life. most hyperthymestics describe their recollection as “non-stop, uncontrollable and totally exhausting” and as “a burden”. like all hyperthymestics, bruce is prone to getting lost in remembering, which is part of the reason he tends to dwell so heavily on his own trauma.

[simulationandsports]

4 Best Open-World Racing Games Of All Time

Open-world games, especially open-world racing games hold an important spot in the heart of a lot of gamers. The ability to drive any vehicle of your choice, and more importantly, to be able to drive it wherever - make these racing games extremely addictive and enjoyable to play. Incredible graphics and the freedom to roam across the globe make these virtual races one of the most effective ways way to escape reality. Open-world games have become a standard in modern video game environments. Developers are increasingly switching away from linearity for an open-world experience. Explore dynamic and constantly evolving open-world landscapes that offer endless excitement and enjoyment with hundreds of most thrilling automobiles.

TT Isle of Man Edge 2

TT Isle of Man Ride on the Edge 2 most defining characteristic is its realistic approach to competition motorbikes. It's not a Grand Theft Auto Online motorcycle racing. Not at all. The physics in TT2 seems real in just how each bike is handled, which can be affected by competitors' speeds as well as track curves and positioning associated with the biker at the wheel.

The result is that racers need to get extremely careful in their precious auto racing strategies. Make a quick getaway from a stop that isn't positioning the motorcyclist forward on the bicycle, and you'll hit a wheelie, which can lead to becoming onto the floor. Make sure to turn while driving at leading quickness and you'll end up crashing onto the ground. TT Isle of Man: Ride in the Edge 2 is a well-thought-out racer found in this regard, but truly does so without truly being overly complicated to use - which is an excellent thing if you consider that becoming too authentic is one of the traits that could wind up hurting an entire game. The TT Isle of Man: Ride relating to side 2 includes the typical game modes that all racing videogames offer. Single-player modes include Quick Race, Time Attack Tutorial, and Free Roam, which allows enthusiasts to take in all the sounds and sights from the Isle or the countryside without any goal aside from perhaps bringing a feel for every bike and/or customized configuration. Although it is generally accepted that gamers automatically get right back along the circuit if they veer on the dirt track, it would have been enjoyable to race over the hills rolling through the countryside at speeds of around 160 MPH.

Career mode is single-player gameplay, taking gamers within the ranks to compete in races and events and earn rewards such as sponsorships, and fresh new items about their bikes. Career mode is especially cool to recreate caused of its remarkable personalization options in the same vein as Madden or NBA2K that lets players make their own choices by signing contracts and customizing their bicycle configurations - of which there are plenty of choices using the big-name licensed brands that race enthusiasts or anyone else will instantly recognize.

Online multi-player races are enjoyable if you're ready to subscribe to the race, however, there's not much online player existence at the moment of production. Selecting a competition typically will result in no matches being identified and the need to create one on your own. If I could unite an online rendezvous, it ran as perfectly as a local multi-player program without any sort of obvious delays or hiccups. If you don't come with several online pals who additionally own TT Isle of Man: Ride with the Edge 2 and you are planning to compete, multiplayer mode is likely to be a waste of effort and time.

TT Isle of Man: Ride relating to the Edge 2 is very a racer's game that is ideal for lovers who appreciate more lifelike gameplay. It's simple enough to pick up and play with however it's a lot more difficult, but satisfying - to develop into a professional racer. While multiplayer online falls slightly off the mark due to the present players but this game's Career mode certainly compensates for this and it is very well well worth the time. The TT Isle of Man: Ride within the Edge 2 is exciting, fast, and possibly the best racing game to date in 2020.

Need for Speed Heat

The risk would be that higher heat indicates more and more powerful cops and getting witnessed can result in a significant quantity of money as well as reputation failure. When I reached the heat level of three and the cops were a big issue. That they even had gotten distinctive risk/reward routine to enjoy rid of those who were caught because once they're busted, the heat multiplier drops to a single also, and the cops can take large sums of money. Every car is equipped with a health bar, which is truly noteworthy to keep an eye on when you are in a police run after. Gas stations can correct the vehicle as much as 3 times at night, but after, the cops will stop them. The night and day game modes are a wonderful and obsessive strategy that was made most of the more enjoyable by the ability to switch among them as soon as I wanted for whichever currency I wanted.

This afternoon and nighttime setups play inside the incredibly suitable plot of cops versus street-racers and also, with the quests requiring a particular auto rank and good reputation stage. The story isn't an unforgettable tale in any way, but it's well played by the actors, and it's a huge benefit for this because it kept me semi-engaged with exactly what was occurring. I have to perform my current very own customized hero using a surprisingly powerful character maker. It was mostly for clothes and features while I selected a pre-made avatar outside of 12 settings, but it was an amazing selection nevertheless.

The vehicles themselves feel stunning to drive. And, from the amount, I bought to push the cars all feel distinctive from one another. Drifting is very the main focus within this entering but it is handled differently in NFS: Heat with the right trigger as the trigger. Generally, it may be a handbrake or maybe the current brake when you accelerate however this time, it is tapping on the gas and then holding it while I was taking a turn. In the beginning, it was unusual and had taken me a while to be comfortable, however, I got used potentially and with those that aren't able to use it, there's an alternative of switching this to the brake. When I had upgraded my car and some more powerful cars, achieving those top performances along a long stretch of the road felt truly great also, and the rush I seemed ended up being types of nostalgic.

Time trials for crew members are small occasions that are displayed relating to the map at an arbitrary time, during which crew active members set their times and try to exceed the instances established by other crew members. These are more challenging than average AI situations, but then again, they can yield the highest quantities of money. After the end of the game, this is the only activity you have to conduct to test out the top cars that come with the greatest advancements, and it will eventually become a bit stale when the digital currency reaches a limit with very little need to invest it in any other items.

The Crew 2

The very first Crew recreation was a strong emphasis on a linear story. The game was a limited choice of situations to experience. It is a different story. Crew 2 eschews most of the linearity and puts a focus on events. Even though the finest mission requires you to amass an online pool of followers on a fake social network named Live, you'll also find four different teams that can be joined. Each team has a headquarters and masters independently in, according to the kind of sport they want to play such as street racing, pro racing, freestyle, or cross-country. Each team is represented by an icon, or boss-like hero, who may be challenged to events once the player's popularity rises to an appropriate level and a sufficient number of events within that type are cleaned. It truly is possibly a little more like a generic advancement tale, but with so quite a few races to conquer, a cinematic storyline most likely will not be overlooked by countless competitors.

Graphically, The Crew 2 will not start looking far unique from the authentic. Its appearance is because drawing distances have substantially increased, due to the ability of players to immediately and spontaneously switch to plane. What would the point of flying be when you can't see miles ahead of you? At the very least, vehicle mistresses will always be stunning, like realistic cockpit views of each one. They may not be the extreme 1:1 laser scans noticed on Gran Turismo Sport, but they're still a great view for taking in.

Crew 2 covers America. It's clear to not scale but features all the various surroundings which make up this vast continent. The urban forests of the major metropolitan locations such as Los Angeles, Detroit, and New York State, as well as others, to the rough mountains belonging to the North and the plateaus of Utah and New Orleans' bayou, all aspects that makeup The Crew 2's US frontier are generally symbolized by The Crew 2 in one single enormous map.

Every category of the vehicle may also be upgraded by acquiring various loots, which are awarded for a session a race's win situation, such as example getting a third place or better in a street race, receiving sufficient stunt points during an air-borne session, or overcoming a rally experience. All vehicles are equipped with the overall level of performance for a high-level summary belonging to the expected performance of an automobile and the standard data such as the top speed, horsepower, and so on however, they also have figures such as stopping distance and 0-60 times. Collected segments can be swapped out at any time, with rarer sections giving out bonuses such for instance more popularity awarded per rewarding happening or a faster boost recovery experience - as absurd as it might seem to come with the ability to boost nitro on a dirt bike or jet, it is an essential feature of every vehicle.

The option is definitely to switch to any kind of vehicle, each time. Each automobile kind will be made an option for a preferred type, such as air, ground, or water. When you are driving, pressing the R3 key will open a list of celebrities. Forcing and holding the perfect analog adhere in the corresponding route will immediately transition into a motor vehicle marked because of their ideal for this class. This could result in some hilarious footage, such as taking off over the Golden Gate link, and then changing into a dirt bike then going down the other side, or just flying up to 15,000 legs and then crashing into the sea in the boat.

Riders Republic

The events you will end up using them in could be just as diverse, bringing you through a myriad of mountain slopes with a lot of different goals to make things more interesting. The things that turn me off from enjoying the game to its fullest are the "Trickster" It is the absolute most enjoyable control, but it is at the same time a little annoying if I barely move my analog before making it to the finish line, he'll throw the trick, and then I'll need certainly to start over or to rewind. Every single sport from wingsuits to snowboarding is great to experience.

I am not sure how they came up with such a terrible control system. There's an array of exciting multiplayer video game titles as well, including competitive Free for many races that challenge your skills against a tiny selection of live video game players, Arena matches that pit two teams of six against one to take control of the skating park and, most importantly: Mass Races. Get to the surface of the leaderboard with Career Mode and attempt the different career paths, playable in a choice of solo or PvP. The Riders Republic sticks very closely to the current open-world vehicle racing video game title resolution we've seen previously, but having an extreme type of these racers is hardly a bad thing.

In contrast to Steep's more rigid and specific handling, Riders has players using a variety of triggers and buttons on the face to pull off tricks. While you are racing for the stars however you'd like, Mass Races opens up about a couple of times per hour, welcoming as many as 64 gamers at any race into an incredibly hectic race that effortlessly changes from wingsuit to bike, snowboard, and back again several times per race. These online video games which are chaotic can pit as many as 64 competitors against one another in one race. Tricks Battle provides video game players competing in matchups of 6v6 in arenas, to complete as many tricks as they can to score points.

Alongside the wingsuits and snowsports from its ancestor are bike disciplines as well as powered vehicles, all ready to switch by a button press and thumbstick movements. Due to its distinct gameplay and satisfying open-world experience, Riders Republic gets the makings of an extreme sports fan's desire. This direction and focus will probably be determined because of the community over the months ahead the coming months, as user-generated content grabs over from the events showcased at launch. Now, Riders Republic may be the thrilling finish line I had been hoping for with Steep. In the end, Riders Republic is a fantastic video game title and the absolute most addicting extreme sports game title available in the marketplace away from maybe the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1 and 2 remake. The races are enjoyable The chaos of mass races is a bit chaotic and unfair. That's why I advise this video game to casual gamers, but it can be enjoyable for experienced gamers too.

[impeccablebackside]

are there any "habits" that each queen, on purpose or not, is having while sex, that would immediately make the other tom/queen that is fucking them go like: ,,ah jup. i'm definetly fucking teazer/vic/tanto right now."? like something typical or characteristic they always do?

Something that is meant to be unique to a queen is a concept that is dually easy and difficult to define. Aside from physical features (and divine physical feel), each queen does differ in other ways, so it is a good question anon. A lot of their typical characteristics are rather interwoven into basically any / all of the posts on this blog, so it may seem minor in the context of the ask, but it is an 'identifier' for each queen. I suppose read through some of them for ideas more specific to any given topic, or just ask me if you want. I would always be interested in reading about what you think if I do not mention something you have in mind.

Vic does not have anything outwardly unique for her partner(s) to necessarily notice when they are fucking her good. She greatly prefers to keep eye contact at all times during sex, and that is something that Plato certainly appreciates. They get lost in one another's eye, feeding off of the pleasure and enjoyment the other is experiencing. The sheer amount of kissing and passion that results from that is something that no other couple have. Aside from that, Vic cannot help but 'squeak' when she is really getting taken apart. When the sensation is overwhelming to the point that she cannot verbalize properly it with words.

With Rumple, it is not difficult to tell who you are with. How do you know you are fucking her? She is loud and very vocal when she getting fucked. Loud. You will know, and so will everyone else. Little is as satisfying to her as being able to express herself as much as she can when the pleasure hits. Even when she is alone, she still cannot keep it down. Otherwise, she also loves fiddling with and rubbing herself at all times during sex. Milking everything sensation-wise out of the encounter. That is not the only milking she does either. The little queen has a habit of fingering her tom's ass when she gives a blowjob or handjob, and that is another way to know the calico is involved.

Almost everything Tanto does could be considered something unique to her. The way she communicates and her mannerisms are inseparable from her 'true self', even when she is intimate. There is an aura about her that makes every encounter seem like it stops time and she is the only other person around. More tangibly though, Tanto has a habit of closing her eyes and zoning out as she is being pleasured. Almost meditating on the experience and getting wrapped in the bliss beyond the physical world. She even drools a bit sometimes when she relinquishes herself to the control and attention of someone she trusts. If you are the one fucking her, the beauty of her reactions, namely her squirting, is a good indicator. Though most noticeably depending on her mood and the sexual relationship, the torbie has a habit of biting her partners. Not necessarily hard, but still meaningfully. Her oral fixation and feedback from nibbling and biting excites her, and when she gets that look in her eyes, her more feral nature takes over.

With Cass, the tends to let out a fair bit of dirty talk during sex. She does not have any specific habits, and anything that she feels is uncouth with her is kept to a minimal. Even when she is intimate, she still wants to attain a certain 'public image'. Not that whoever is fucking her cares at all about her habits. Her body one of a goddess, and anyone lucky enough to get with her will be left dreaming about her perfect pussy that swells when she is getting fucked and has 'creamy' milky type of wetness that coats whatever she is 'wrapped around'. When she is done and has her orgasm, it looks like she actually cums a bit. It makes others yearn to experience it.

Deme has a tendency of tucking her face into whoever is on top or below her. Hiding away from the bitter world and into a place of warmth and solitude. Being surrounded and wrapped in the body of her lover is just as special as any pleasure. When the pleasure gets more heated, she will claw against the back (or front) of her partner. Few people know, but she always gives a little 'thank you' clench with her pussy after she cums.

Bomba tends to grab onto her partner in reaction to getting fucked. Besides her words or moans, the queen grabs and squeezes whatever is within reach to communicate her enjoyment. With Tugger, she loves grabbing ahold of his mane and pulling on it hard. It does not translate nearly as well with others, but the habit is still there. Otherwise, she gives some messy head sometimes and is sort of the only queen who does.

Jenny is noted to always give instructions and pointers to her partner. She knows what works and what falls flat, and is much too experienced to let someone else figuratively go down the wrong path when they are with her. She also is one of the only queens who smacks your ass during sex.

Jelly does essentially no oral sex, and does not really enjoy oral all that much. She is the only queen like that. Does she make it up in other ways? Not really, but she never needs to. Her partner knows what to expect, and there are plenty of other things to do.

[fenomenologia22]

Culture - Defining, Identifying

Culture - When I hear the word, I picture a petri dish in an biology lab.

Recently, I met a former colleague from work at a social event. I asked him about his new job. He replied, "Great, the culture is completely different from where you worked before." We met at the same company. I was there when he left, but remained with him. Culture. I was curious.

Italiano What is it exactly? Culture is a concept that you hear first. It refers to a distant people, an ancient civilization, or a land from another time and place. Think about the food they ate, how it was cooked, their traditional clothing, how they were dressed, the music they made and the folklore that they shared with their guests at their evening entertainment. You are then asked by someone, "Where do your work?" They ask you to tell them. They then ask you, "What culture is that?" You stop dead in your tracks. Culture? What does culture mean to you? That's all I meant.

Over the years, I was fortunate to have worked for many companies. Little did I know that each company I worked for had a different culture.

My first job was at a tech startup with 23 employees. They hired me and I was fired three months later. They went bankrupt. Yes, I quit a stable company with good pay and benefits, as well as a great team of techies like me. Another tech startup was the one I interviewed with three times. Yes, that's correct - three times. The president and his VP made me an offer a few days before Christmas. After I requested several days for a decision, the president looked at me for five seconds and then pulled the letter from me. He said, "Terry. I think I am going back to my offer." I never got to see the letter and didn't get to flip it over. The multinational defense contractor was established many years later. After only three years of being there, I realized that they were notorious for not hiring people when contracts were inked and then letting them go once those contracts expired. The large service provider is the one that has many departments and is process-driven, but very informal in its processes. Each group completed very similar tasks, but there was little consistency in the process. Each of the four companies mentioned were displaying a part of their "culture". The first company was a gun-slinging employer despite having accumulated debts for several years. The second company expected all employees to give up their lives and do what the president asked, no matter whether it was Monday, Saturday, midnight, or holiday. The third company rode its contractual wave without losing a single day of their employees through any dry spells of work. The fourth was able to create an environment that allowed employees freedom to think and act as they please, regardless of any standard practice or process.

It is evident that culture does not come from faraway lands or distant pasts. It's right in front you, today and now. It may be something you don't think about or believe only at festivals and international events. Your workplace is a great example because of the repetitive hours you work there every day. Culture is defined by the amount of time you spend there. It's possible to hear the phrase "Company ABC", which means that employees work 70-hour weeks. Most organizations, regardless of how small or large, have a culture. It may be difficult to recognize cultural characteristics because we might spend less time volunteering. This may be due to the fact that the environment is not always the most welcoming. Most workplaces have a culture. Certain environments are known for their cultural characteristics. These traits are what they use in public advertising, literature, taglines, and company literature. There are also hidden, unwritten, and hard to identify traits. These are the traits employees don't talk about. You may be told, "Come work here and spend 10 years as I did" You may not be able to see patterns in other environments. It may take years to recognize a characteristic or aspect that you can call culture.

There is both good and bad culture. Good Culture - "Continual learning and development, regardless of our roles, are part of our culture." This is how many companies advertise their positive culture. This is usually found in the company's statement, branding, and public advertisements. What about their "bad culture?" As an employee, you will gradually have to witness, observe, and confirm their "bad" culture. This information will not be provided by your employer. This is what employees will call "experience". Some companies will defend their bad culture so hard that they lose their employees, lose money and fail to develop their products or overlook new opportunities. As an employee, you have to decide if you are able to accept and work in a culture that you don't agree with. Although it may seem easy, if you feel that the culture trait you dislike is preventing your growth, learning, advancement, morals or personal excellence, you might decide to leave. It is not worth it to live in a negative culture.

Many companies have fallen because of bad culture. Instead of making positive changes that will ensure the company's long-term survival and prosperity, the focus has been on justifying the culture, denial of any problem, looking the other direction, and not dealing with the negative aspects of the culture. It is possible for companies to not acknowledge bad culture. If they do, then they must do something about it. It is difficult. It can be difficult to change culture. Culture can be influenced by how they manage their employees and day-to-day operations. There is the possibility that some negative characteristics of culture will be eliminated and treated. It is a good thing if the positive traits are stronger than the negative ones. To make up for the negative traits, you can add more positive traits. Some companies even use the term "culture" as a "safe harbor". All attributes and traits, both good and bad, are unified under the umbrella of "culture". Negative traits are now a "hands-off" topic. Companies do not need to act on this "safe haven". It is not necessary to lead and drive change. Change is risky and some might say that it's bad. Each company needs a culture. Culture is good. We don't need to do anything, it's "our culture". It's accepted simply because it is good to have a culture. End of story.

One time, I was the only person responsible for managing and leading a project that was assigned to me. I was responsible for analyzing trends and identifying broken links. Then, I designed a process to address those broken links. Document it, then roll it out to all the groups. Key users were also educated. My manager and me met frequently to discuss the project. I would find out where resistance was coming from in the affected groups and what we could do to help them. My manager started to defend the group with which I was having difficulty on two separate occasions. He was not supporting me but defending them. I was shocked, perplexed and disappointed by the lack of support. His actions were impeding, if not delaying my efforts. My project was doomed for failure. This was the "culture" I found at work. It was a large, multi-service company with an oligopoly. It didn't like change or the speed at which my project required it to. The broken links continued and staff used the same process they had always used, no matter how inefficient. Managers were expected to be friendly with each other and not cause them any headaches. Because of this negative cultural trait, it was necessary to invest extra effort and time in reshaping the rollout. Roll out was slower and less effective than it should have been. It started to look more like a personal project, where I was trying make a name for my self and not as a fully-mandated project. It was rightly so that many didn't take it seriously, or even buy into it at the beginning, which cost me months of progress. It was a huge cost to adapt to their cultural bias.

[fenomenologiablog]

Culture - Defining, Identifying

Culture - When I hear the word, I picture a petri dish in an biology lab.

Recently, I met a former colleague from work at a social event. I asked him about his new job. He replied, "Great, the culture is completely different from where you worked before." We met at the same company. I was there when he left, but remained with him. Culture. I was curious.

curiosità What is it exactly? Culture is a concept that you hear first. It refers to a distant people, an ancient civilization, or a land from another time and place. Think about the food they ate, how it was cooked, their traditional clothing, how they were dressed, the music they made and the folklore that they shared with their guests at their evening entertainment. You are then asked by someone, "Where do your work?" They ask you to tell them. They then ask you, "What culture is that?" You stop dead in your tracks. Culture? What does culture mean to you? That's all I meant.

Over the years, I was fortunate to have worked for many companies. Little did I know that each company I worked for had a different culture.

My first job was at a tech startup with 23 employees. They hired me and I was fired three months later. They went bankrupt. Yes, I quit a stable company with good pay and benefits, as well as a great team of techies like me.

Another tech startup was the one I interviewed with three times. Yes, that's correct - three times. The president and his VP made me an offer a few days before Christmas. After I requested several days for a decision, the president looked at me for five seconds and then pulled the letter from me. He said, "Terry. I think I am going back to my offer." I never got to see the letter and didn't get to flip it over. The multinational defense contractor was established many years later. After only three years of being there, I realized that they were notorious for not hiring people when contracts were inked and then letting them go once those contracts expired. The large service provider is the one that has many departments and is process-driven, but very informal in its processes. Each group completed very similar tasks, but there was little consistency in the process. Each of the four companies mentioned were displaying a part of their "culture". The first company was a gun-slinging employer despite having accumulated debts for several years. The second company expected all employees to give up their lives and do what the president asked, no matter whether it was Monday, Saturday, midnight, or holiday. The third company rode its contractual wave without losing a single day of their employees through any dry spells of work. The fourth was able to create an environment that allowed employees freedom to think and act as they please, regardless of any standard practice or process.

It is evident that culture does not come from faraway lands or distant pasts. It's right in front you, today and now. It may be something you don't think about or believe only at festivals and international events. Your workplace is a great example because of the repetitive hours you work there every day. Culture is defined by the amount of time you spend there. It's possible to hear the phrase "Company ABC", which means that employees work 70-hour weeks. Most organizations, regardless of how small or large, have a culture. It may be difficult to recognize cultural characteristics because we might spend less time volunteering. This may be due to the fact that the environment is not always the most welcoming. Most workplaces have a culture. Certain environments are known for their cultural characteristics. These traits are what they use in public advertising, literature, taglines, and company literature. There are also hidden, unwritten, and hard to identify traits. These are the traits employees don't talk about. You may be told, "Come work here and spend 10 years as I did" You may not be able to see patterns in other environments. It may take years to recognize a characteristic or aspect that you can call culture.

There is both good and bad culture. Good Culture - "Continual learning and development, regardless of our roles, are part of our culture." This is how many companies advertise their positive culture. This is usually found in the company's statement, branding, and public advertisements. What about their "bad culture?" As an employee, you will gradually have to witness, observe, and confirm their "bad" culture. This information will not be provided by your employer. This is what employees will call "experience". Some companies will defend their bad culture so hard that they lose their employees, lose money and fail to develop their products or overlook new opportunities. As an employee, you have to decide if you are able to accept and work in a culture that you don't agree with. Although it may seem easy, if you feel that the culture trait you dislike is preventing your growth, learning, advancement, morals or personal excellence, you might decide to leave. It is not worth it to live in a negative culture.

Many companies have fallen because of bad culture. Instead of making positive changes that will ensure the company's long-term survival and prosperity, the focus has been on justifying the culture, denial of any problem, looking the other direction, and not dealing with the negative aspects of the culture. It is possible for companies to not acknowledge bad culture. If they do, then they must do something about it. It is difficult. It can be difficult to change culture. Culture can be influenced by how they manage their employees and day-to-day operations. There is the possibility that some negative characteristics of culture will be eliminated and treated. It is a good thing if the positive traits are stronger than the negative ones. To make up for the negative traits, you can add more positive traits. Some companies even use the term "culture" as a "safe harbor". All attributes and traits, both good and bad, are unified under the umbrella of "culture". Negative traits are now a "hands-off" topic. Companies do not need to act on this "safe haven". It is not necessary to lead and drive change. Change is risky and some might say that it's bad. Each company needs a culture. Culture is good. We don't need to do anything, it's "our culture". It's accepted simply because it is good to have a culture. End of story.

One time, I was the only person responsible for managing and leading a project that was assigned to me. I was responsible for analyzing trends and identifying broken links. Then, I designed a process to address those broken links. Document it, then roll it out to all the groups. Key users were also educated. My manager and me met frequently to discuss the project. I would find out where resistance was coming from in the affected groups and what we could do to help them. My manager started to defend the group with which I was having difficulty on two separate occasions. He was not supporting me but defending them. I was shocked, perplexed and disappointed by the lack of support. His actions were impeding, if not delaying my efforts. My project was doomed for failure. This was the "culture" I found at work. It was a large, multi-service company with an oligopoly. It didn't like change or the speed at which my project required it to. The broken links continued and staff used the same process they had always used, no matter how inefficient. Managers were expected to be friendly with each other and not cause them any headaches. Because of this negative cultural trait, it was necessary to invest extra effort and time in reshaping the rollout. Roll out was slower and less effective than it should have been. It started to look more like a personal project, where I was trying make a name for my self and not as a fully-mandated project. It was rightly so that many didn't take it seriously, or even buy into it at the beginning, which cost me months of progress. It was a huge cost to adapt to their cultural bias.

[akindplace]

About my sexuality, since it eventually comes up, I would say I am queer. I don't feel like I fit in many "labels" of sexuality, so I just like using queer as it is an umbrella term.

Regarding sexuality, I spent many of my teen years trying to figure it out, but it was always very fluid, and I learned how to accept that fluidity. I like the people I like. Gender doesn't seem to matter much to me and in a romantic relationship I want to have a connection and that is what I value most.

For those curious, I have dated cis and trans men and women.

As far as sexual questions, I'm not comfortable talking about that right now. This might change, idk.

I like people. That's all I have to say. I've been in a serious monogamous relationship for a while now with a man.

I just want to spend the rest of my life with someone who accepts me for who I am and have a small family someday. Celebrate Christmas with happy kids opening presents. Having a cat and a dog. Being independent and able to give a good life for my children. To be my authentic self in a relationship, feeling loved and understood. That's all I want besides traveling a lot. That's all that matters to me. My sexuality tells me that I would be comfortable doing that with either a man, a woman, or someone who is non-binary.

After years trying to figure myself out, I realized that I (me, Lívia, that doesn't apply to everyone) do not care about labeling my sexuality, nor I feel confident that I will ever identify as something more specific. I don't need to give my sexuality a name to feel like I'm part of the LGBTQIA community. I spent too many years studying my sexuality, as I thought it could provide answers to who I was. But now I realize that the important thing is to live my sexuality. And it is a big part of who I am, but it does not define me completely because I am a complex human being, with many other important characteristics about me besides who I feel attracted to.

I thought that finding answers about it would answer the question of who I am. But not finding an exact answer and just going with the flow of my sexuality has released me from the pressures of finding myself, since I like to see myself as someone who is constantly changing, and has given me great freedom navigating life. I don't have to be anything.

I don't have to make sense to everyone else, what matters is that I understand myself and that I have found peace and happiness after years struggling with defining my sexuality. I can be...me. I can stop thinking about my sexuality and live it instead. I can stop overthinking who I am and who I was supposed to be, and I can just act.

Lots of love,

Liv 💜

[parachutingkitten]

Y'all suck at dissecting Kai's character, so I guess I have to do it.

And I'm not even a Kai stan. He's a bottom tier ninja for me, which I guess means you can trust me, cuz I'm not biased, but also why am I the one doing this? I don't know about y'all, but recently on my dash, the method by which Kai fans try to make him sound good is... saying the writers hate him, ignore him, and that he isn't written well? Which... I mean there is a little bit of truth to, but like yikes guys, is this the best you got? Kai is a wonderful character with plenty of attention from the writers, a meaningful piece of the cast when put in secondary rolls, fairly consistent character writing with actual progression and valuable qualities that help the team without having to be the smart one- despite what some posts might tell you.

Let's get one thing cleared up: Ninjago isn't the best written show. By high level Hollywood standards, most the character arcs are kinda weak or too heavy handed, character consistency can be iffy, and most things serve the plot rather than the characters. There is no character you can point to and say "wow, this character is written so well! No complaints!" Nya and Jay were butchered by their weird love plot, Cole's one season doesn't actually give him an arc, Zane's been nothing but the robot numbers guy for like 10 seasons now, and Lloyd seems to be incapable of doing anything but relive the same one piece of dad angst for depth. Sorry, it's true. All the characters suck when you look at it from a large scale writing perspective. So when I say Kai is well written, I mean by ninjago kids show standards- cuz that's the scale we're working on. No, you couldn't drop Kai into a well written drama, but as far as ninjago goes... he's got a lot going for him, and by no means is he the biggest victim of poor writing.

(fair warning, wall of text below)

The title is a bit disingenuous. There are plenty of good Kai character break downs. What I am presenting here is a more positive perspective. On the whole, I will tend to give the writers the benefit of the doubt, and credit for what they do right writing is hard guys. That's what I'm doing here. I don't see much sense in getting mad the writers on behalf of Kai, or any other character. Ninjago is a simplistic ensemble show that works because of the identifiable simplicity of its main characters with some deeper layers hidden underneath if you keep watching. They've given us a damn good show with some damn enjoyable characters, so here are some criticisms I feel are a little flawed:

First, let's get the 'focus' thing out of the way. Apparently there are people saying Kai doesn't have a season yet? Which... what? I mean, I get that the pilots aren't a full season, the first two seasons, though he is the central protagonist, aren't "Kai seasons" as we've come to define ninja focus seasons, season 7, though he gets majority focus, he shares with his sister. But like... did y'all just forget about season 4? You know, the season where he had the title card, was on the box sets, got the love interest, and the majority of the A-plot? not to mention it's the best season don't @ me Like... if season 4 isn't a Kai season, I can make a damn good argument that season 3 isn't a Zane season, and I doubt anyone wants to go down that rabbit hole. I really can't wrap my head around this one. And I get that the fandom hates season 11 for some reason, but like you can't just pretend it doesn't exist. Kai has a consistent arc across 30 episodes in which he takes his powers for granted, loses them, and learns that, not only does he have value within the team without them, but that his element is intrinsically a part of him that he reclaims, bringing them back more powerful than ever, and with new respect for them. That's one of the most solid arcs in the whole series- the location is even thematically connected to his element. That's some good stuff right there! (Quick plug for season 11 if you haven't watched it in a while. Give it a rewatch, you might be pleasantly surprised)

Not to mention the writers give him fun side stuff all the time. Lots of fears of tech and water to overcome, a deep protective streak with Lloyd, becoming a chancellor, having a true potential actually relevant to the plot as a whole, blacksmith responsibilities, befriending dragons, hanging out with his dad. Not to mention actual focus stuff we haven't talked about yet, like his whole "my dad is evil" phase, and his "I might be evil" phase with him and Skylor. And on top of that, even when he doesn't have an explicit side plot, he's always just a fun and dynamic side character to make jokes or give exposition.

Now, into character stuff. Let's start with Kai's hot headed-ness. Some people say he's been loosing this quality, and I will admit, that's true! But those that claim this makes him inconsistent... I strongly disagree. In early seasons, Kai's temper would lead him to snap at his friends or make stupid decisions that set the team back (see episode 2 Zane freak out)- these are bad things. These are character flaws, yes? Now, in newer seasons, people say that he's inconsistent, cuz sometimes he'll be hot headed, and sometimes he won't. I'd say, this is exactly how being hot headed... works? It flares up without warning, and as an individual gets control of it, it'll pop up less and less often because they're channeling it into productive things - like say directing the anger towards an enemy (see season 11 end freak out). Kai has gained control of a character flaw, and though it still pops up on occasion, the fact that it's a once in a while kind of thing speaks to his growth. I have a little brother who has this exact personality, and watching him grow up, I can tell you, this is how it is. He used to snap all the time, and he still does sometimes, but much less frequently, because he's a more mature person with better control of his emotions. This is a good thing. This is overcoming personal flaws. This is progression we're seeing.

And while you're hyper focused on this one aspect of him, things like his cocky confidence haven't changed a bit. I mean, that season 3 bit between him and Pixal, and his season 11 "fire maker" streak have the exact same energy. You can not convince me otherwise.

Another adjacent quality that hasn't been dampened is Kai's impulsiveness. This can be a good quality of his, he'll get into a fight without thinking, getting the jump on the enemy. Good stuff. But, this has become such a well defined trait of Kai's that it has been used in a comedic capacity. This is what happens when a character is extremely consistent to the extent that both the audience and the characters in universe would be able to predict their actions. Kai's impulsivity used to be a more serious quality that put himself and others at risk, and was a big power move whenever he did something rash, but it's become such a staple of the show that it's now being used for comedy. That isn't Kai's impulsivity going away, that's Kai's impulsivity being recontextualized for the sake of the show. The season 9 "Who's stupid enough to jump on that thing" isn't a joke at the expense of Kai just for being dumb, it's a joke at Kai's being so predictably impulsive that everyone already knows he'll be the one to put himself in an insane amount of danger without thinking twice (you know, something stupid that might get him killed). But because in this instance, the danger is warranted, this is bravery. It's a complement to his character- it's what ends up defeating the colossus. Why are some people so bothered by this joke?

Oh right, cuz for some reason people want to peg Kai as the smart one? Look, Kai isn't stupid, none of the ninja are. All of them have smart moments (all of them have dumb ones too) and Kai can certainly handle himself, but "smart" is definitely not one of his defining characteristics- I think some people are confusing smart for his actual strength. Connected to his impulsivity, Kai has very good simplistic instincts. He sees the big picture and looks at the most surface level solution- which when the situation calls for it, that does indeed make him smart. But the same logic that led him to think "This snake has a glowing target on its head, lets hit it" also led him to think "I'm in a video game, therefore I am immortal." Are you really going to look at me and say he figured out Lloyd was the green ninja through logical deduction and a careful consideration of the facts? No. He had a gut feeling, and he trusted it. Instincts- instincts paired with his impulsive following of said instincts is what leads him to solve problems- and sometimes, that can be extremely effective. This goes for other ninja too. Jay isn't the smartest ninja- I would really only classify Zane and Nya as having intelligence define them (hence their ship name). But Jay is extremely creative and crafty. He also knows his was around mechanics, and as such, this will lead him to come up with creative tech based solutions which are smart. But, idk about you, if I had to point to another ninja as being 'dumb' it would 100% be Jay. Kai is a lot of things. He's passionate and determined and confident and persistent. He's a good improvisor, he's powerful and he's charming! These are all wonderful qualities, he doesn't also have to be the smart one. I am the worlds biggest Pixal stan, and she's a smart, sassy, powerful character, but I'm not gonna sit here and tell you she's also hilarious and adaptable and strong willed. She's a straight man to all the ninja's antics, extremely tied to her samurai x suit, and lets people push her around all the time. That doesn't mean she can't be funny, or self interested, but when she does act these ways, it stems from her other more prominent qualities. That make sense?

And while we're clearing up what Kai isn't, please stop characterizing Kai as an overly protective brother - especially romantically. The only two times he's been romantically protective to Nya are in Wu's Teas which I mean, come on and in the pilots when Jay is literally a stranger. For crying out loud, by the end of the pilot, he's smiling when Jay and Nya hug. That's not overly protective, that's just normal, any reasonable person would react this way, protective. And it's such a great stereotype break for a kids show like ninjago, having an older brother who actually trusts his younger sister to be her own independent person who can make her own decisions. I mean, I guess it's fine if you HC differently but like... idk, I don't buy it.

Now, is there still room to criticize the writers? Yes. Hell yes. But not to an extent greater than any other character. Could he have had more of a defined reaction to events of the most recent season that I won't name for the sake of spoilers? Yes. But could Zane have reacted for more than .5 seconds at being an evil war lord for apparently 60 years? Yeah. Has Kai taken a back seat in the past 4 seasons? Yeah. But so has Lloyd- and he's literally the main character of the show. Not to mention two of those seasons have gone to people who had to wait over ten seasons to get one to themselves, and one of them is a 40 minute special. Kai's doing just fine.

Anyway. Kai is great. He's a fun, stereotype breaking, impulsively driven, ball of energy and confidence who gets a good amount of screen time and some fun side plots.

One last thing to clear up: no hate to anyone. This isn't targeted at anyone specific, this post has been a long time coming, I've just seen some weird overblown claims on various platforms over the past few months and I finally sat down to write about it.

I like the Kai content we have. After all, if the writers were really that bad at writing him, then no one would like him.

Wow this was so much longer than I thought it would be. Um... if you have other long winded rants you'd like to see from me... let me know I guess?

[calicoradfem]

found on Instagram at @very.gay.teens

From the caption:

Edit: "I don't want to date trans people because I want biological children" →The reason its still transphobic is because this does not only exclude trans people. Plenty cis people are infertile. So it's still not about transness specifically (as well as some trans men for example do choose to get pregnant). So the appropriate thing to say would be "I don't want to be with someone I can't have biological children with."

Let’s talk about this.

Is it transphobic to not want to date trans people? No. Your dating life does not need to be inclusive. Full stop. Any reason you don’t want to date someone is a valid reason. But let’s break down these arguments anyway.

Reason 1: “Because they have this set of genitals.”

Argument: “Not all trans people have the same genitals. Bottom surgeries exist.”

Refutal: People know that bottom surgeries exist. A surgically created penis or vulva is not the same as a natural one. Here’s some information on SRS options:

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326590

https://www.verywellhealth.com/different-types-of-vaginoplasty-4171503

Reason 2: “Because they are too feminine/masculine/ambiguous.”

Argument: Trans people express gender differently. Everyone has different body types.

Refutal: I’ve never heard anyone gender expression as a reason not to date a trans person, and I agree, it does vary from person to person, especially since “gender expression” is essentially clothes and makeup. However, in regards to body type, there is a consistent biological pattern. While humans have a relatively low level of sexual dimorphism compared to other species, it’s still observable and patterns can be recognized easily. Trans women still have traits of biological men and trans men have those of biological women. Of course these can sometimes change with hormones. Regardless, if someone isn't attracted to traditionally masculine or feminine features, like height, breasts, body/facial hair, or bone structure, it doesn’t matter how the person with those traits identifies. You can’t identify into someone’s dating pool.

Reason 3: “Because they aren’t really their gender, they are their sex because they have these chromosomes.”

Argument: Intersex people exist. You may be intersex and unaware of it. You’re not attracted to chromosomes and can’t be sure of someone’s chromosomes by looking at them.

Refutal: Intersex people have nothing to do with this situation unless the trans person in question is intersex. Either way, intersex conditions aren’t examples of more sexes beyond male and female. They are medical conditions, many of which can have potentially harmful side effects. These conditions involve variations in sex characteristics, but are largely sex specific. That is, they either affect biological males or females. For example, only women can have Turner syndrome, and only men can have Klinefelter syndrome. Intersex conditions are irrelevant to this argument and most trans issues. To use them as a “gotcha!” to get people to date you shows that you neither understand nor respect these conditions or the people who have them.

As for people having intersex conditions and being unaware of it, this is very unlikely. Intersex individuals only comprise 0.018% of the American population. Most intersex conditions have side effects that would have presented themselves. Any healthy person with typical genitalia of their sex can reasonably assume that they are not intersex.

https://www.leonardsax.com/how-common-is-intersex-a-response-to-anne-fausto-sterling/

Of course no one is attracted to chromosomes. They are, however, attracted to the physical sex characteristics that those chromosomes govern. As stated above, very few people have differences in these chromosomes, so chromosome analysis is unnecessary because someone’s sex can typically be determined by their phenotype. Chromosomes have everything to do with sex and physical appearance.

Reason 4: “Because they are trans”

Argument: This just makes you transphobic.

Refutal: Even if this does make you transphobic, it doesn’t matter. As I stated before, your dating life doesn’t need to be inclusive. Let’s talk about why it isn’t transphobic anyway.

Transphobia is defined by the Oxford dictionary as “dislike of or prejudice against transsexual or transgender people.”

Not finding someone attractive is not dislike or prejudice.

Not wanting to date someone is not dislike or prejudice.

It doesn’t matter what the specific reason is because dating is inherently exclusionary. 

Reason 5 (from the edit): "I don't want to date trans people because I want biological children"

Argument: This isn’t about transness specifically because some trans people can have children and some cis people can’t

Refutal: This situation varies based on the sex of the partner. However, most people who undergo HRT or SRS are infertile. This is a valid reason! And if both partners are the same sex, it’s definitely impossible for them to conceive. Yes, some cis people are also infertile. It’s not something you know immediately upon meeting someone, but it can still be a dealbreaker for some people. Just because they’re specifically talking about trans people, where the likelihood of infertility is higher, doesn’t mean they’re transphobic, or using it as an excuse not to date trans people. A straight man who wants biological children automatically knows he doesn’t want to date a trans woman because not being able to have kids is a dealbreaker.

Overall, all these arguments are nonsense because no one is obligated to date you or even consider dating you. The reason doesn’t matter. Dating is not a systemic problem or a social justice issue. Sex is not a human right.

[xclusivetism]

Debunking ‘gender identity’ by gender ≠ sex.

Having gender identity may seem noble divergence from our gender rigid society, the solution to stop such and embrace self-expression.

However after examining it through, ‘gender identity’ the way the ideology says doesn’t really exist and actually still perpetuates gender conformity.

And no, there’s no need for “there’s only two sexes” or any science  argument at all to disprove gender identity. Gender ideology so f l a w e d that it can do it perfectly itself out of any of above the fastest just by Gender ≠ sex.

You probably read many things that try to disprove gender and thought it was wrong or outdated that scientist have discover there’s people with XXXY.

But after reading this, If it doesn’t peak you or at least make you question gender, then i honestly really don’t know what will other than to call you deluded.

What is Gender

Gender ≠ sex is the essential foundation of gender.

To order to know the difference, we need to know what individually each are.

Gender is a social construct

Gender Identity

Gender expression

That means.

Sex is a physical construct

Sex

Sexual orientation

The first thing that instantly break Gender ≠ sex

“Sex is not binary, Sex is a spectrum or intersex exist”

That already outed you as a hypocrite especially when responding to “there’s only two sexes” saying that they’re conflating sex and gender.

Why should sex being binary or not be relevant to gender identity?

LGB and T are antithetical.

Since Gender ≠ Sex, LGB and T shouldn’t be consider one.

Sexuality is a Sexual orientation not a gender orientation, to suggest it means gender too is conflation.

For a trans-woman to say they’re lesbian or a trans-man to say they’re gay is incorrect & impossible because they’re straight. Gender identity doesn’t shift sexuality status because they’re separate things and to suggest so is homophobic. For a trans to say that invalidates their identity is another conflation of gender and sex.

LGB is a sex-based group while T is a gender-based group. One’s based on sexual attraction and the other is based on changing gender, they are absolutely nothing alike.

‘Cis’ is enough entitlement to be trans exclusive.

Terfs don’t like being called ‘Cis’

But let’s say they drop the belief that “transwomen aren’t real women” and say “transwomen aren’t ciswomen” and want spaces of their own

They put the ‘Cis’ prefix 

Cis woman schools

Cis woman attracted

Cis woman bathroom

Cis woman sports

Cis woman locker rooms

Cis woman administrator 

Cis woman health

Cis women history

etc.

Instead of saying “only women can breastfeed” they use “only AFAB can breastfeed”.

According to TRA logic, all that would be valid.

To for one to say that’s segregation, you would also have to believe separation of men and women or other types groups is segregation as well. A Cis person doesn’t have the trans experience and that goes the other way around.

‘Transwo/man’ is transphobic itself.

Gender ≠ Sex physical transitioning would be a conflation.

If it’s not a conflation, that would imply that physical features are social constructs which includes reproduction, sexuality etc.

Gender is a social construct, all you need to be a gender is identify.

Gender dysphoria is only a social dysphoria, if it’s about the physical then it’s really sex dysphoria. To say it isn’t is conflation.

But even identifying as a ‘wo/man’ itself also is transphobic because the meaning behind it is sex base.

the definition of wo/man.

Adult human fe/male being

What does fe/male mean?

(Female) of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) which can be fertilized by male gametes.

(Male) of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring.

One can go down in the definition to point that it also means this.

Relating to wo/men or the fe/male gender.

To say wo/man in the definition also refer to gender, isn’t that a conflation and breaking Gender ≠ Sex? My oh my so many usage of the word conflation.

Gender identity.

Non-binary is not a gender, nothing of it say it’s a gender. It’s just non-binary of something which is usually assumed of not being man or woman. But not being a man or woman doesn’t say of what it is only of what it is not. If the binary part is something else that mean a person who identifies as a woman or man (including cis) can be considered non-binary. Non-binary is really just a slot. 

So far the solid identifies are

Man

Woman

Neutrois

Queer

Agender 

Androgyne is both man and woman. Genderqueer wo/man is both of queer and wo/man. Pangender is all.

Everything else is either a flux, degree, combination of the above or based on a different concept. Things like such as bigender are umbrella because it doesn’t specify if it’s man or woman or something else.

That being said, the only one that’s truly gender non-conformist is agender. Queer is still gender conforming just not to man or woman.

What are the distinctive qualities of each identity?

It’s said that gender expression is different than identity and that someone who identifies as a boy can be very feminine still.

So we’re not gonna use association of masculinity, femininity etc. to define it then.

So what identity mean is it’s usually answered as someone’s ‘personal sense.’

If it’s a personal sense that mean it would be mean it’s a personal construct.

Personal or social construct regardless, it doesn’t say the characteristics. If you can’t point out what to define the labels become hallow. 

There’s many things that aren’t concrete that can show one it’s existence.

An abstract thing like 1, can present it’s existence.

A thing we cannot fully see of like the 4D can present it’s existence.

Even pseudo scientific like zodiacs signs have specific qualities to describe, personality types and even religion has something to define.

In the means of gender, all the identities really sums down to meaningless labels. In the means of sex, the word woman or man are names for physical characteristics that is observed at birth. 

Problem with “assigned gender identity at birth”

No one was “assigned” at birth, “cis” people don’t match what their doctors assign. Assign word implies duty and a job. Assign is often a thing that doesn’t always taking what the subject is to account, for example you being assigned to a seat is sometimes random and not based your rowdiness or attentiveness. 

The doctor characterised people a ‘wo/man’ based on observing them. Woman and Man are distinguisher (just like fruits and veggies) of physical characteristics.

People are assigned a gender expression at life.

Gender identity doesn’t exist other than being a label, gender identity is based on sex hence that label. What’s assigned is actually gender expression.

What Society does

(Biology) Sex → gender identity ↓ ←gender expression (Society)

↓ Gender identity → gender roles

What TRAs think to solve it

gender identity ←gender expression (society)

Gender identity → gender roles

Sex ← gender identity (society)

Sex Ⓧ gender identity (society)

Sex → gender identity (different)

↓ gender identity (different) → sex → society → expression = gender roles

What Gender critical think to solve it

Sex → gender identity → gender expression→ society = gender roles

Putting it to perspective

Whenever GC say this:

Sex → gender identity

This is how TRAs view it:

gender identity ←gender expression (society)

Gender identity → gender roles

Sex ← gender identity (society)

↓ 

Sex → gender identity = gender roles

and thus GC = society pushing gender norm

and the TRA misses this:

→ gender expression→ society = gender roles

Gender ideology pushes gender conformity, just in backwards.

Society enforces femininity on women and masculinity on men to maintain a heteronormative hierarchy aka patriarchy. 

Gender ideology is a patriarchal chest play to keep people from actually breaking such status quo by putting the gender role but backwards.

Societal gender roles

Women must be feminine

Men must be masculine

Gender ideology

Feminine is woman

Masculine is man

Neither is non-binary

Anything else it’s a new gender

‘Cis’ means comfortable of the societal gender role

‘Trans’ means not comfortable of societal gender role

GRA say expression is different from identity to hide the fact that it in a way still pushes gender conformity. They confuse the names for physical characteristics ‘wo/man’ as entire gender construct and expression. 

Here’s the damage Gender ideology does.

So far GRA activist blur what sex and gender is, despite their gender ≠ sex.

Blurring gender and sex create problems for the LGB and women, by making anyone able to appropriates them by identification and transing so long as they feel it, remember these two groups are on the oppressed side. There isn’t even a qualification (not even dyphoria) to be considered trans. Growing kids & teen are getting into this as well ruining their bodies, ask yourselves how are they old enough to block puberty but not drink alcohol?

People’s motivation for why they want to of certain gender is not look thorough enough. 

People in general again who again don’t fit with gender norms

Women with internal misogyny/trauma

Gay/Lesbian with internal homophobia/trauma

Men who want more access to women for misogynistic reasons.

You cannot ever feel something you cannot comprehend.

And you cannot ever comprehend not feeling it.

One’s thought of feeling or not like a boy/girl comes were form by the brain cells of XX or XY chromosome or whatever.

Here’s a color analogy i have to show case the difference between one who feels like wo/man vs someone who actually is.

Identifying as one.

Actually being one.

The gender dysphoric pandemic

The correct word for what people mean by gender dysphoria would be sex dysphoria people who are dysphoric of their physical sex body.

Sometimes transsexual need mechanical intervention to relief their sex dysphoria.

Most people who are ‘trans’ aren’t transsexual as that is rare and projecting the gender dysphoria to their bodies instead should be towards society. There’s some types of transwomen who have autogynephilia (reverse heterosexuality, which is nothing wrong in of itself but alot of them are doing bad with it) are motivated by sexuality and is projecting that thing of wanting to become the opposite sex.

Gender dysphoria

A lot of people in the world have gender dysphoria some in more degree than others. 

Many movement where brought out because of gender dyshoria 

LGB because gender roles often link to heteronormative.

Feminism/Women’s rights including the ‘Terfs’ is a inherently gender dysphoric movement.

Gender criticals are inherently gender dysphoric.

What trans movement doing is conflating gender dysphoria with sex dysphoria but they are actually perpetuating gender norms.

The only gender construct that matters is identity which is woman or man because that exist to distinguish people of certain biological characteristics. “Masculinity” and “Femininity” isn’t real, they’re just many expressions boxed into one or the other enforce to people into gender roles which are by large hierarchy called patriarchy. If there is natural patterns that’s sex behavior.

Most people in the trans community aren’t bad, they’re being exploited by the people who are bad. The people who are bad are motivated to destroy children, LGB and women’s rights, depressedly under all this is essentially a men’s right movement but left wing. We need to take those men (and few women) with evil intent to account now.

Right leaning and traditional etc. people role in this whole thing. 

Conservative/traditionalist/religious people who claim to be gender critical, are most of times far from it and are in fact gender rights activist but trans critical that’s the only different between them and the bad trans people above. The trans movement is mostly a side-effect and these people are kinda the reason for it. Gender roles are toxic considering that people especially have to resort in changing their bodies for not fitting in and the gender ideology is a outlet. 

So it’s pure insanity conservative/traditionalist/religious people to keep insisting that be men masculine and women be feminine and that’s it’s all fine and fail to acknowledge, comprehend or disregard people who are gender dysphoric to those roles (feminism being the biggest example) making them seem pathological abnormalities when complaining about them. 

There’s truly a lot of people who are non-conformist but were too scared to be themselves because people like them and it has been rampant for thousand of years. They use not seeing alot of them as prove to enforce their patriarchal rhetoric.

Conclusion

What people need to talk about is their gender dysphoria (but not ideology kind) but of the roles in society. Let transsexuals be their own group without the gender nonsense in peace. We need start embracing gender non-conformity without needing to change our biological identity.

[naminethewriter]

Order

Loceit Week, here I come! I’m being very spontaneous with this, so we’ll see how it goes 😉💛💙 @loceitweek2021

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Loceit Week Masterpost

Characters: Logan, Janus, Patton & Roman mentioned

Relationships: platonic Loceit

Rating: G

Words: 1,010

Summary:  Logan values order but the library is anything but orderly when Janus arrives on his search for Logan.

Normally, any realm that Logan had control over would be perfectly organized. He preferred it that way. Efficiency was one of his values and things getting lost in clutter was the least efficient thing there is. So of course Janus expected the library, a storage space for all the knowledge Thomas had acquired over the years, to be as clean and organized as it always was. However, once he made it through the big double doors, he was greeted by stacks of books all around the space and many shelves either half- or entirely empty.

Logan sat in the middle of the room, at one of the reading tables, typing away at his laptop though he regularly stopped to check over a book to his left until nodding, moving it onto a pile on the right and grabbing another book from another stack to his left. Janus watched this process for a few minutes before clearing his throat and stepping towards the logical side.

 “Logan, dear. What are you doing? It doesn’t look like a complete mess in here.” Logan’s head shot up and now Janus could see how frazzled he looked. Logan stared at him a few moments before his brain seemed to catch up to what Janus had said.

 “Oh-“ He took a look around. “-I guess it has gotten a bit chaotic in here, my apologies.” Janus held up his hands in a placating manner.

 “Don’t apologize, it is no issue of mine. I was just… surprised considering your usual care for order.”

 “Ah, yes, I see where the confusion originated from.” Logan nodded and rightened his glasses. “While this may seem to be chaos, it actually serves the purpose of me having an easier time to organize.” Janus lifted an eyebrow.

 “Of course. That is definitely apparent.”

 “You see,” Logan continued without acknowledging the interruption, “I am currently cataloging these books in a digital Format, so I – or anyone else for that matter – can look up the book they are looking for and identify it on the characteristics defined in the catalog.” Janus took a seat across from him, folded his hands and leaned his head closer.

 “And you are doing that instead of using your perfectly reliable previous system, why? Considering how many books there are I find it hard to believe that you have the time to do this next to your usual commitments for Thomas’ well-being as well as take the time for yourself that you need.” Logan crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

 “What are you insinuating, Janus?”

 “That it is uncharacteristic for you to do such a major reconstruction of your usual habits and routines without some sort of prompt.” He smiled in a way that would seem kind to anyone who didn’t know him well enough. Logan could instead see the challenge within.

 “Contrary to what you seem to believe, this is a project that I wanted to get around to for a while. My organization system before was efficient but still held too much room for failure. This method will be much more secure.”

 “Oh, I’m sure it is. Still, this came a bit sudden. There is no unanticipated break for Thomas, your timing is questionable. As we both are sure to agree, this is a massive undertaking and as sure as I am that you would consider organization a hobby of yours, you are aware that you technically do not have any more time than usual to do this, so why did you make the decision to start this project right now and work on it through dinner?” Logan quickly glanced at the clock on his computer screen. Indeed, it was past dinner time. That explained Janus sudden interest in Logan’s activity. He swallowed.

 “I apologize, I lost track of time.”

 “I know that Logan, I’d rather you answered my question,” Janus said, a hint of coldness in his voice. Logan sighed.

 “A few weeks back, Thomas encountered a certain trend of people organizing their bookshelves based on the colour of the cover rather than the contents. Since then Roman and Patton have been pestering me to let them use that method here in the library as well, because – and I quote – ‘It would look so pretty!’ and ‘It’s all about the aesthetic, nerd!’”

 “I see,” Janus hummed. “And I presume they have annoyed you into giving in?”

 “Even I only have so much patience for foolishness. However, considering that I would not be able to follow this new system effectively, I decided to use this opportunity to install my digital catalogue and then let them- “ Logan pulled out one of his vocabulary cards. “-‘go wild’ once I was done.”

 “And how far have you come?”

 “I have finished with the non-fiction books and am currently working on the fantasy section,” Logan explained while holding up the last book he was working on. Janus nodded.

 “Alright.” He summoned his laptop. “I will help you finish that section and afterword you will eat and take the remainder of the day off to do something more relaxing.”

 “This is-“ Logan tried to protest weakly, but Janus cut him off.

 “I’m sure it is, however staring at the screen for so long is straining on your eyes and I’m sure you still have many more books on your reading list that you should get to as well, correct?” Now Janus’ smile had morphed more into a satisfied smirk. Logan huffed.

 “You are not wrong. Very well, I accept your terms.”

 “Of course, you definitely had a choice,” Janus chuckled before securing his own stack of books to work through and receiving access to the databank from Logan.

 “Thank you, Janus. I truly appreciate your help,” Logan said, over both their laptops. Janus gave him a genuine smile.

 “My pleasure. I do use this library; it would be beneficial for me as well if I could continue to find what I’m looking for. And I look forward to spending more time with you.” Logan blushed and ducked his head back down.

[naruto--imagines]

University

[Yamato x Reader]

After you graduated high school you decided that you wanted to move away from your town. You desired a fresh start away from those that you grew up with. So you decided to move to Konoha and pursue an English degree of some sort. 

Your first week of classes you were very shy about interacting with everyone. You were enrolled in general education courses for now. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you had English 100, Psychology 100, and World History 100. And on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you had Biology Lecture and Lab. At the end of the first day, you noticed one pattern in particular. In all of your classes, there is one boy who constantly shows up, Yamato. You coincidentally sat next to him in psychology, one of the free seats left in the lecture hall. But on Tuesday you noticed that he was also in your Biology Lecture.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” You say as you take a seat next to him. 

“Oh! We’ve got this class as well.” Yamato says a slight flush spreading across his cheeks. 

“Yup, I think someone in the office was having some fun.” You poke back. 

After that class, Yamato invites you to join him and his friends for lunch, which you readily accept. You walk to the cafeteria with Yamato and you guys meet up with his friends Kakashi and Gai. With food in hand, the four of you find a table and you easily fit into their conversations. You were able to keep up with the witty banter of Kakashi and enjoy the energy that Gai brings. At the end of lunch you begin to walk back to the dorms and discover that you and Yamato actually live in the same dorms as well, he just lived on the floor above yours. 

From there, your friendship easily flourished. Nearly every lunch was spent with Yamato and his group of friends, and every class you two had together you sat next to each other. Even weekends were spent with him and his friends. Going to the movies, going shopping, checking out events that were held on campus. Hell, you and Yamato even did volunteer work with Kakashi at the local animal shelter. 

But soon your first semester was over. You and Yamato no longer had classes together, but that did not deter you from hanging out. In fact, you two had more of a reason to see each other now. As a biology major, Yamato frequently helped you to survive your Bio 200 class. The lab was easy, but the lecture professor was a real stick in the mud. His pacing for the class was insane and you constantly found yourself in Yamato’s room attempting to understand the concepts that were being poorly taught to you otherwise. To be fair, Yamato got his fair share of lessons from you as well. In his English 200 class, they were learning about analyzing poetry for symbolism and hidden meaning. Yamato is a very literal fellow and struggled with finding a deeper meaning to the mention of poppies in a poem. So while he was teaching you what ‘mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell’ actually meant, you were teaching him about poets and their drug addictions. 

During midterms, it was enough to say that you were all brain dead. You and Kakashi had been drilling Gai and Yamato about how to identify different symbols in the texts they had to write a paper on. Soon enough Gai waived the white flag on English, and Yamato and Kakashi shifted to lecturing you guys about biology. Let’s say you and Gai attempting to sort all Phylum of the Arthropods were not good. Your midterm required that you could properly identify each phylum of the Arthropods and their defining characteristics. 

At 8:30 you all decided you had enough. So you all packed up your bags and went to your dorm rooms to drop off your bags before meeting back up to walk and grab food. You all decide to go down to the corner store to grab some snacks before you go to the nearby park to eat them. The four of you sit on the playsets, chatting and laughing about anything that did not revolve around English and Biology.

The next week went relatively the same way. During the day you would all attend your classes, then in the evening, you would study for the upcoming assessments. On Thursday and Friday, you all took your midterms and decided to meet up after the fact. 

“It was so bad!” You cried leaning on Yamato’s shoulder. “It took me the entire hour and a half to finish the test, and I think I only got, like, 60% of the questions.”

“Even after all the studying we did?” Yamato asked patting your back. 

“There was so much more on the test than what we studied.” You told him as you stood up. “But enough about my failing biology, how was the English paper?” You asked Yamato and Gai.

“Better than I thought I would do, you’re a really good teacher.” Yamato says as he glances at you. A small blush dusts your cheeks while you smile back. 

“Oh, sure, I’m just chopped liver then.”  Kakashi snarkily remarks. 

“Ah! You too Kakashi, I appreciate the help both of you provided.” Yamato stumbles his face turning red.

“And so do I!” Gai interjected, saving Yamato from further embarrassment. “To show my appreciation, I am treating everyone to food. So let’s go!” Gai quickly ushered you all off campus to grab some food (that wasn’t from the convenience store).   

That weekend, Gai and Kakashi went home for the weekend, something about training for a marathon Gai want to participate in. You and Yamato said goodbye with a laugh and watched them leave after you all got back from dinner. On Saturday you and Yamato spend the whole day together, not unusual for the two of you. First, you meet up in the stairwell to walk down for breakfast, then you head to your room to watch some bad TV and work on some assignments, then out to grab some lunch, more work and bad TV, and finally dinner. After eating some food from the cafeteria, the two of you head back to the dorms and up to Yamato’s room to play some video games. 

Yamato has kicked your butt for the 82nd time in Mario Cart. In frustration, you sigh and throw yourself back on his bed. Yamato laughs at your antics, the moves to turn the game off. 

“You wanna watch a movie instead?” He asks as he ques up Netflix. 

“Sure,” You groan while sitting up, “I hear that there is a really neat thriller movie that just came out.” You tell him, leaning forward to look at the selections available.  

“Oh yeah? What’s it about?” Yamato asks. You quickly explain the premise of the movie, and you two decide to watch it. You scoot back and lean against the wall while Yamato turns off the lights. He joins you on the bed and tosses a blanket over your laps. 

Halfway through the movie, you are completely focused on it. So much so, that you don’t even notice when your head slowly drifts until it is resting on Yamato’s shoulder. Yamato, also engrossed in the movie, doesn’t fully recognize it either. Instead, he wraps his arm around you and lets head drop so it is gently resting against yours. That is how the two of you sit until the movie ends. “Wow, did not think it would end like that.” You softly said. 

“Yeah, me either, that was really good though,” Yamato says in response.

You gently turn your head suddenly realizing the position you were in. Yamato turns and looks down at you, and you find your self reminded just how attractive you find him.

At first, you thought he was just a cute dork. But as you have grown to know him, you found that he is intelligent, sweet, funny, and over the past few months, you found yourself growing more attracted to him. 

You are pulled back into reality as Yamato presses his forehead to yours. You watch as his eyes scan your face before they settle on your lips, then flit back up to your eyes. You allow a slight smile to flit across your face as you press your forehead back against his. 

“You know,” Yamato strats of quietly, “I’ve had something I wanted to tell you for a while.” He reaches his hand ourt and grabs for yours, lacing your fingers together.

“What that?” You ask him.

“I’ve liked you for some time now.” He starts, his hand shaking in your. “Would you like to go out, somethime?” His cheecks have gone pink, and he is avoiding looking at you. 

“I have a better proposition,” You tell him rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. “Why don’t we just start dating now?” You ask placing your hplacing your free hand on the side of his face. He smiles back at you.

“I’d like that.” Yamato says, slotting his head to press his lips against yours. You let a chuckle escape your throat and press your lips back against his as the credits finish rolling. 

You two pull away from one another as netflix make its next recomendation. You and Yamato smile at one another, he grabs the remote to make another selection and you snuggle into his side. The two of you spend the next movie quietly chatting and exchanging small kisses. 

The start of a sweet relationship. 

-

“You know, Gai will be very upset this happened while he was gone. “ Yamato says as he wraps his other arm around you drawing you closer to him. You laugh rather loudly at the statement knowing he is correct. 

“Yeah, and Kakashi will take all the credit for us getting together, because he took Gai away for the weekend.” You reply, Yamato chuckles. You two know your friends too well. Yamato wraps his arms a little tighter around you and presses his lips to your head. 

Hard to believe his dream actually came true. 

[holyjareau]

imo, the show was often unilaterally focused on Piper, but only on what she could do for others (Piper the wife and Piper the mother) rather than who she was as a person. Piper's individual characterization was lost sometime around s5 as soon as she got pregnant, and being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series. I would be very interested to hear what you define as Piper's mental issues/trauma, bc as you say it doesn't get said enough

this has been in my inbox forever and i’m just getting around to it so my apologies.

but okay. so. yes. i think a lot of tv shows fall into this weird place where like. all of their characters begin with these kinda vague personalities because you’re just getting to know them. and as the show goes on, you pick up more pieces and stuff . and that’s great. that’s interesting and entertaining and it takes you on a journey and all. but often what happens is many shows fall into this pit where writers either get lazy, they change, or whatever, and the actors are tired of playing the part or whatever . and like. the characters become like. caricatures of themselves. and it just gets exhausting to watch because they’re not like. real people anymore.

Piper's individual characterization

so now for the charmed thing. so from the beginning. i have loved piper. like she’s the middle sister, overlooked, quiet, reserved, pessimistic but also realistic, gentle, thoughtful, all that. we see right away that she loves to cook .. she’s so happy her family is back together. she kept in touch with phoebe behind prue’s back. but she’s loyal to the both of them. her first idea was to have a reunion dinner when phoebe came home. she’s literally so cute n she deserves a hug. but no like. as we go on, we see that she wants to be good, she wants a stable life with no more loss, she Loves Love !! like. she wants to just be happy , open her own restaurant n just cook. she’s also so shy .. definitely panicky and anxious. and she doesn’t trust herself. she’s skeptical of everything, and she’s very thoughtful when it comes to big situations. even in the early days with leo and into season 2, she mentioned a few things about like “i’ve been thinking a lot about this...” and you can see she’s good at communicating with people. she’s also got these other dimensions to her like . she is interested in lots of cuisine types, she loves to read (and is a camus fan !!) , she drives a jeep (which i wanna know how she got bc i have questions), when she found out she was a witch her first thought was just . i need to go and see if i am still a good person . and she went to church. prue was surprised to learn that piper enjoys knitting. in the early seasons (especially mid-late season 3) we saw her with her plants and all. she’s just this natural peacekeeper. but like. we literally got a crying scene in the second episode because she was so conflicted about this. and she’s such a deep and complex character that i fell in love with so fast . and like . literally my favourite fictional character to exist . genuinely holly breathed so much life into piper . anyway . so. here’s the thing.

being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series

like. piper was who i described above. and like . i kinda think . a bit. that like . the writers . especially in s4 . were like . hmm well  . she’s just lost prue, she’s gonna be grieving . and like we need more for her. so. she’s been married to leo for the better part of a year, been with him for like . 3 years. so. let’s maybe consider giving them a kid but not just yet . just Content kinda stuff. so anyway they drop little hints in here and there starting in like . 4x07 i think? which . brain drain really paid the rent . fully just. holly did so well. but like. that ep was just. a neat way of looking into her mind and seeing the horrors of manipulation and gaslighting and everything . and of course holly knocked it out of the park. but at that point, they were kinda like . hmm . kids ? and they started toying with the idea, having piper and leo consider it, talk about it, they had paige and phoebe ask about it , all of that good stuff. as you do. made for some funny tv at some points. and like . i really, really Get It . when piper’s like . ahh the baby wouldn’t be safe around here !!!! like. Girl, Valid . your sister just died and like . you went on forever about how she was The Most Powerful One . The Strongest One . and yet she still died . so she’s like ??? am i next ?? and like obv it doesn’t make sense for her to jump on this train of like . i’m gonna have a kid !!!! so she’s really valid in her thought process there. and like. after having wyatt . i think the writers really . idk. couldn’t do waaay too much with her character anymore because i feel like . to an extent, anything she does will be scrutinized bc i’m not just . saying this . i rlly feel like sometimes piper’s the easiest to hate. like idk why but i loved her. but anyway. if she stays at home with wyatt and doesn’t wanna fight demons n all . then she’s selfish towards her sisters n she’s awful n prue wouldn’t have let her do that !!!! etc . but if she fought demons it’s like . uh sweetie you have a child . really ??? why put yourself in a situation that might have you ending up like patty 2.0 ... bc i could do a Whole post on how patty’s situation messed piper up the most. but anyway.

it’s the way i’m fully rambling so if you’re reading this . i love you . anyway okay . so . i think in a tv show you’ve gotta kinda check boxes. the best tv shows have characters you see yourself in . you relate to them. you hear them and understand their decisions and actions and thoughts. the things they do just makes sense 2 you. so like. with prue, anyone married to their job could relate to her. any oldest sibling could see themselves in her, you know ? she was hard-working, committed, logical, protective. and with phoebe, anyone who couldn’t “settle down” in their early 20s related 2 her, anyone who felt like the outcast of the family, the “screw-up” .. right. makes sense. she was so kind, caring, had-your-back kinda girl. we all love those. paige was like . the new kid, trying to fit in, creative, curious, and definitely a lifelong learner. and then there’s piper who was shy, resistant, really just wanted to be normal. and loved. and i think everyone could kinda identify with at least one of the sisters regardless of where you stood in your own family. so as the show went on, it’s like . they still want you to keep watching and keep being able to identify with them because it’s not like they’re humans with normal lives so they’ve already kinda lowkey got that going against them . so their more “human” and normal lives... we’ve gotta be able to identify with them to be able to invest time. so they had prue always working, having trouble balancing love and work, looking out for her family. we had phoebe kinda living her life, getting her career going, then kinda wanting a family. we had paige learning magic and being super interested and involved and then getting married. and we had piper who had her career pretty early on, got married, and had kids. like. i think the big thing is the marriage and kids. and when you’re a mother . the only mother really in the show, the show lowkey centres around you . like. for starters, the show usually is in the manor, and if you’re a mother, you’re very likely at home, esp with young kids. so i think that alone kinda was like . huh yeah . won’t see piper out waaay too much anymore i guess !!! but no like . there’s That. that’s kinda. the thing that really can’t change with the show . like. piper’s got kids now and a husband and very, very likely . her life will be centred around her home. which. listen she’s wanted that i think - the stability . she’s wanted that forever. and this is the form it came in. but i should stop rambling here and cut to the point .

Piper's mental issues/trauma

disclaimer: i’m not diagnosing her, i’m just speculating based off of my own experiences with mental health

so. okay. very early on. we saw that anxiety. like. yes . she was nervous about like a whole new life experience . or whatever we’re gonna call it when you figure out you’re a witch . but like she was Anxious . like. crying in the attic over being a bad person . needing phoebe to talk her down by telling her she’s such a caring person, she’s always doing things for other people . and then there’s the whole anxiety that comes with. my family’s falling apart because my sisters are fighting so i use really awkward methods of getting out of things . like using humour as a coping mechanism !!! which. gave us some iconic one-liners. but that’s beside the point . anyway. point is. early on, that anxiety was there. there’s an ep in season 1 where she’s literally entering a panic attack in her kitchen and phoebe’s using a menu to cool her down. like. Yikes! and then she’s just. her awkward self around everyone but that’s endearing and is just part of her personality . and i think a lot of the anxiety stemmed from childhood. we heard a few times about how prue and phoebe had boyfriends growing up, were always pretty and popular and all. phoebe was popular, too, just, in the other crowd. but nonetheless, piper faded into the background, doing well in math - well enough to go off and be a banker . and like. she sacrificed a lot for grams. she stayed in san francisco ... we all know the girl had the marks for stanford or something . like. though . still, i think she liked the stability of home and prob would’ve stayed . but in 3x17 she’s all !!! grams !!! the doctor said no caffeine !!! and when grams was taking the pic of them outside and she had an episode , piper was all !!!! shallow breaths !!! like. it was clear piper was the one taking her to the appointments and footing the bill. like. she literally became a banker just bc it had benefits n stuff. like. poor girl really thought . anyway that’s a whole spiral. but no. like she really sacrificed The Most for her family and everyone still thought she was selfish for wanting to move out . when like back then grams was literally ... sick ... and prue was out here moving out and phoebe was nowhere to be found . so. that . definitely would have added to her anxiety about even wanting to do anything for herself because she’ll be perceived as selfish in a heartbeat. even if it’s not Mean . it’s just. she’d never risk it. but there’s the anxiety. there are a few lil things here n there about how she gets nervous n stuff, she represses things (3x07 i think was where phoebe said piper represses her anger n just sucks it up n does whatever) . she literally cancelled her doctor’s appointment Twice . anyway. it still angers me. then in season 7 . patty and victor were like . oh she had night terrors that were so bad we took her to the doctor ! and i just ... honey . baby. she thought she caused the divorce. at 4? 5? she watched victor leave on her 5th birthday, watched a demon attack her, grams, and victor. prue said she didn’t cry at patty’s funeral and i’ll make a safe bet that piper did. and i think growing up without patty was strange for sure. prue had more memories and phoebe had none. and piper had fragments of this person everyone loved . and she was stuck between knowing her and not knowing her. and when patty was sent to her for her wedding day, (as well as in 1x17) . both times when patty hugged them . prue and phoebe hugged her, eyes closed n all. while piper was on the outside, eyes open . looking numb as all hell . and you know. i rlly think she was Giving Them That because phoebe didn’t get her and prue kinda . in a way. lost more of her . if that makes sense ?? and i just. patty really was like . they sent me to You. and 5 seconds later . piper’s like . they sent mom to Us !!! and it’s that idea of sacrifice and never having anything for yourself because she was never just . given anything for herself . everything in her life has been a sacrifice and as a mother, that’s perpetuated. she can assume that role with more of a purpose . like. people won’t really feel sorry for her now as the “forgotten” sister, they won’t try and coddle her or anything. and another thing. control. piper craved stability and control. i think while cooking was something she loved, it also gave her a lot of control . she could control her whole kitchen . even in season 8 .. maybe vaya con leos actually . leo mentioned how much piper craves control. and the control motif makes sense with her powers too. like. piper craved control so much that her powers allowed her to control things down to the atom. so there’s the whole anxiety and needing to control things to ease her anxiety and all. there’s That whole thing.

and then we get to the infamous season 5 fearless spell . ms girl really sat in the attic just writing everything on the wall and it’s the way i screenshotted it and like . zoomed in and tried deciphering it . and like . there’s words like “stop” and i think “sister” is in there a few times, so is “loss” or “lost”. when i watch it next i’ll grab a cap because it’s . disturbing. girl was so scared . literally was writing a spell to get rid of her fears . she also writes Fear . as in. capital F . and like. yeah that’s deep but i do it too like i emphasize words with a capital letter . and like holly marie combs might just have quirky n fun writing but like ... capital F . for Fear. for real . that’s . trauma !!! and she also was having panic attacks at the beginning of season 5. let’s not forget those. which ... we should’ve gotten more of an explanation for . i hope that girl is getting help bc she was Going Through It . and in season 7 when zankou reads her diary . firstly. we Knew this girl kept a diary like . for Sure . she did. and just that little excerpt of when prue died . oops. i’d pay big money to see the rest because again i just think she’s got such a complex mind and like. i’d be so interested to read that. and i think everything re: prue is just Awful for her. like . idk if this is just something quirky i noticed but obv we know prue died in may 2001 . but at the end of 4x03, when piper goes 2 paige’s work 2 bring her muffins !! soft !!! the calendar on one of the desks reads july 2001 ... and i really just. ms girl. i Know they prob just filmed the ep in july but it honestly tracks that she’d be so awfully upset about everything and just . barely able to do anything but cook . for 2 months. like. honey. baby. i wanted 2 just cuddle her bc she was so sad. and like. she tells paige she’s having “good hours” and “not so good hours” . she’s going by the Hour . by the Hour . just. need i say more . i’m so . but no like. if anything like i could see her having like . depression where she’s high-functioning and like just . walking depression i guess ?? like . not even after prue. i think in general. like . she definitely has a melancholic temperament and a type 6 enneagram (the skeptic). that’s For Sure . but i think. just. she’s always just had time to think bc she’s always alone, reading, knitting, cooking, tending to her plants, all that. and i just . think. she has issues. and i think prue knew that. of all people. and i think her knowing that . and then dying. destroyed piper. she lost the last person that was truly a constant in her life . like they shared a roof over their heads forever. and then she was just . gone . and piper was suddenly left to pick up the pieces . and become the oldest sister . and i’m So glad she didn’t fully assume her personality. i’m glad she stayed as piper . just. she’s more cynical and snarky and defensive and cold and that’s okay. she’s hurting. she’s always gonna hurt . and i think it makes her human . she’s pessimistic and sad and has a short fuse at times . but just. again. i love her to bits and i think those issues make her more relatable for me. because while many like to say she became selfish and a negative person and just . awful to be around . i’d say the opposite . i won’t sit and apologize or justify things. also i don’t think piper’s done anything wrong . i just think she’s hurt. she’s been wronged so many times. and she’s .... scared. i think she’s scared . and in season 5 “sympathy for the demon” we learn her true biggest fear is her happiness being stolen away. and like . it’s not that she’s scared she won’t be happy. she’s scared all of the good she’s got will be taken from her . and that’s . terrifying . so . i see why she’s so snarky and bitter and tired and all . she’s terrified of things being taken from her like they have been her whole life. and as i watch the show i really like to just keep that in mind as i get further and further in because yes. she did become a mother and a wife and we saw her arguing with leo a lot and their marriage falling apart and That Whole Era . we saw how it kind of took over her life but i think it happens . i think she even said at one point . i’ve been so many things to so many people, i don’t know who i am anymore . and i think it sums her up perfectly. she doesn’t know who she is because she’s someone to everyone . she’s just. nobody to herself except this scared little girl who just wants Something . Anything . to make sense . some Stability . and her babies, her husband, and her sisters . are all she has for that idea of stability to make sense in her mind. and it was an easy hole to fall into - the Mother - but i think she jumped in. because at the Very Least . nobody could take that title away from her . regardless of how hard they tried .

[cats-moss-gays]

@terflies

You’ve been all over my posts so I’m just going to consolidate into this one. I’m tired of scrolling past your long and quite frankly boring responses. This post will be divided into sections. If you’re going to respond please say something interesting. However I doubt either of us will ever change the other’s mind. These are kind of like closing statements and I doubt I’ll make anymore major responses because I’m trying to stay focused on offline things.

1. Unanswered Questions

There are some questions and statements in my reblogs that you conveniently ignored.

Definition of a woman? You responded with some generic bs that very clearly isn’t an answer. I’ll be more specific, what should the dictionary definition be? Any ideas?

If I don’t feel like a woman am I allowed to identify as one? You said you weren’t going to humour this question but it is applicable to me and many other gc women. I definitely don’t have any internal feeling of womanhood, or any gender. Does this mean I have to be agender? Is the female gender label restricted to a certain feeling? Or is there absolutely nothing that women have in common?

What is the feeling of womanhood? You kind of answered this but I have a follow up question. You say the feeling of womanhood is enjoying being perceived as a woman. If I feel indifferent to this does it mean I’m not a woman? Additionally, many women feel uncomfortable with being perceived as a woman because of the misogyny associated with the label, does this make them men?

2. Inaccurate Statements and Lies

I don’t believe any “TRAs” define women by gender roles

You may not but there are many who do. It’s also important to point out how deeply ingrained gender roles are in society; you can’t stop them by just saying your choices exist in a vacuum. I’m sure you think I’m just making this up for fun, so here are some examples ;)  x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

So this whole…thing is dishonest from the start. Gender does not replace sex.

In another post you said that laws should be based on gender instead of sex. So which is it, either gender isn’t replacing sex or it is. When feminists talk about sex based oppression they’re called terfs. When gay people say their attraction is based on sex they’re called transphobic. When people were saying that only females get cervical cancer, they were called violent transphobes. Gender is absolutely attempting to replace sex as the basis of legal protections, safe spaces, political movements, etc. Two of the top post on my blog are more extreme example of this. x - x

BONUS: You’re saying TERF rhetoric

3. The “Questions” Post

You seem very confused about how to define biological sex and to some extent I understand that but you have to stop playing dumb. There must be some way that doctors are able to identify the sex of a fetus before it’s even born in the vast majority of cases, right? And before you try to say I’m just ignoring the existence of intersex people or trying to deny science, I’ll point out that I have watched and read a lot of “sex is a spectrum” stuff. I understand that DSDs exist and that biology is complicated. Our disagreement is mostly not over the facts but over how to define them. I know that however I explain it you’ll pretend you don’t understand it, so instead I’ll just link you to some other sources that explain it more in depth. x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

A third sex—and many creatures have more than two—does not necessarily mean a third gamete. Mostly this question is a childish distraction, but if you were to use a strict, gamete-based definition of sex the answer would be “none”.

So all infertile people are a third sex? To be female you have to be able to bear children? And you call me regressive, yikes. This can be debunked with the same sources from above but I wanted to feature it in my post because I want people to know that you think there’s a third sex.

I made a quick little chart to compare all the things gender has been compared to! The difference is that while many are socially defined, gender is socially constructed. If someone never interacted with other humans, they would still have a skin color, have or not have specific abilities, have a sexual orientation, and be male or female. They would not have an observable gender identity.

1 - You refuse to humor my questions about being a woman who doesn’t feel like one, however this is not in bad faith; I do want to know what you think. Many gc/radfems, including myself, and many women in general do not have a specific feeling of gender. This is especially true for gnc women, who often feel a disconnect from the feminine gender role and subsequently, the feminine gender. The solution is to realize that there are no standards to conform to to be a woman, no clothes or interests or feelings, just the biological reality one is born with.

2 - You say “the feeling of womanhood is enjoying being called a woman” but what does that mean? It’s circular reasoning, a fallacy called begging the question. How do you know you are a woman? If I gave up being a terf on tumblr, how would you advise that I identify if I don’t think I feel like a woman? My current plan was to just pick the mogai flag with the prettiest colors, but I’m thinking maybe there’s more to it than that...

3 - See my explanation above. Sex is comparable to race or disability or sexuality; gender is not.

4 - You say genders are social classes. If they are indeed social classes, they are unnecessary ones that reinforce oppression. They are undefinable when not based on biological sex or gender roles. The other example of classes I can think of is wealth. Wealth classes have obvious divisions, you can’t just identify into more money. Gender has nothing that is shared by every woman, man, or nonbinary, so you can just identify in and out of classes. Additionally, if there are like 100 genders, are there 100 classes? 

4. The “Biological” Sex Post

Gender does not replace sex

Then why are TRAs trying to say sexuality, legal protections, bathrooms, spaces, political movements, etc should be based on gender instead of sex? You keep contradicting yourself; you should talk to your fellow trans activists because many would disagree. Also see my response in part two.

A number of points here aren’t factually wrong but simple (*simply) irrelevant

So you would agree that biological sex is important and that it is relevant to many conversations? Then why were people getting mad about this?

Or this?

On to the specific examples. This post is long enough already and I’m not going to spoon feed basic biology to you because you’ll probably just ignore it. I referenced a variety of sources earlier. I’ll just reference Invisible Women since it’s an amazing book.

1. This first point is, appropriately enough, true in isolation; it just doesn’t support Paradox Institute’s argument. Listing it leads the audience to believe that truth is on their side, but PI do nothing at all to justify that.

So nothing here is true? They’re just lying? Here are their sources btw.

2. Generally irrelevant, but not entirely biologically accurate, either. It isn’t that ‘male’ and ‘female’ are categories intrinsic to nature that produce small, motile and large, immotile gametes respectively; ‘male’ and ‘female’ are labels we assign (generally, but not always) according to gamete size.

So it’s not relevant that one sex has the ability to carry children or menstruation or get an abortion? It’s not like there’s any issues women face specifically for that, right? So we assign the labels male and female to gametes. If you want to play semantics, sure, we created the words, but the gametes themselves already existed. Not really sure what you’re trying to say here other than disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing and moving some words around. Are you implying that the categorizations of gametes are subjective? Are you saying there’s a spectrum of gametes?? Are eggs just big sperm and sperm just small eggs??? Genuinely have no idea what the fuck you’re trying to prove here.

3. Whatever your opinion of evolutionary psychology, this does not preclude gender. (On the contrary, we ought to include gender in our understanding of cultural development with respect to sex.)

The only gender in history was gender roles, and both were tied to sex in most cases. Sex absolutely came before gender and is more integral to our existence. In any time before the last few decades, gender and sex were basically synonyms.

4. Entirely a straw argument. And, to the contrary, precision greater than two sex categories would be beneficial (i.e. specific sex characteristics, history, endocrinology etc.).

Obviously doctors don’t just diagnose based on sex, they factor in medical history and other traits. Precision is irrelevant because it still focuses on sex not gender. If it’s “entirely a straw argument” why did someone else reblog your response with this?

Speaking as a member of a medical family, the medical one fucking OFFENDS me.

Blood type HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER. Or biological sex! Both are totally irrelevant! And medication dosage is determined by AGE and SIZE. A 25-year-old 160-pound person with a penis needs the exact same dose as a 25-year-old 160-pound person with a vagina. In fact, possibly LESS of a dose, if the person with a penis is 5’10” and the person with a vagina is 5’5”. (The taller person may be underweight.)

This is just. UGH. I could scream.

@prismatic-bell​ this is one of the funniest and dumbest replies I’ve ever gotten. First of all “member of a medical family” tf is that lmao. This reminds me of that post where the “medical worker” tra turned out to be a garbage collector guy. I have no idea why you brought up blood type when it is literally never mentioned in the original post. Strawman much? Fucking obviously blood type isn’t affected by sex, and you’re completely missing the point if you think gender has anything to do with this. Medication dosage is decided by age and size, yes, but also biological sex. This is like basic medical science, dumbass. Mandatory reading from Invisible Women as punishment for your stupidity crimes:

People called her a terf for this :)

5. How sports are best divided is a far broader question than this point implies. We could, for example, segregate sports by relevant physical attributes (as is already the case in some sports) rather than by sex or gender. This point also presupposes (but does not justify) that a woman having an advantage in women’s sports by dint of being trans is significantly greater than an advantage any woman might have by dint of her natural attributes (which, empirically, she does not) and hence would be unfair. That said, enforcement of “female” sports is already marred by racism and perisexism.

You agree sex and gender are different, yes? So then why should males be in female sports? You’re trying to distract me with that stuff about physical performance and whatever. Focus on the question at hand, should males be allowed into female sports? We cannot eradicate sex-segregated sports because female athletes will be even more systematically disadvantaged. If you were truly a feminist you’d understand that female sports are the result of the movement you claim to support. More Invisible Women facts plus some interesting info about the plough hypothesis:

6. Simply untrue. Excluding trans women from statistics about women on the basis that doing so would affect those statistics is arbitrary at best. Those statistics may change, but that does not mean they are unsuitable or inappropriate. The exclusion of any subset of women can be justified in exactly the same way.

Nope! Stop trying to use women of color and intersex women as justifications for why we should let men pretend to be women. You’ve seen the hundreds of receipts of trans women committing all sorts of male violence. Has anyone found anywhere near a comparable number of trans men doing similar things? They have not, even though if trans men were truly men they would be much more violent.

7. The majority of single-sex spaces are, functionally, just as much single-gender (owing to the traditional equivalence of ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ and to the majority of the population being cis. Trans people have been using spaces appropriate to their gender for decades, whereas concerns about them doing so are based on speculation and hypotheticals rather than fact. (Aided, as with a lot of bigotry, by bad and manipulated statistics.)

I’ve spoken about my opinions on the bathroom debate before. If a passing trans person uses the bathroom of their choice I don’t really care, but there have already been many examples of men making women uncomfortable in their bathrooms, or worse. Making all bathrooms gender neutral is by far the worst idea, but unfortunately that seems to be where we’re headed. More Invisible Women, just for fun:

8. This is the worst red herring, exploiting violent misogyny for the sake of argument. It is another straw argument, too, since—even ignoring trans-positive feminism in practice and assuming trans people act only in self-interest—trans people are concerned with addressing such injustice.

Sure, many trans people are supportive of feminism. But we can’t effectively dismantle the patriarchy if we can’t accurately describe the (sex-based) oppression involved. Women are routinely silenced when talking about our biology, even when there is no “transphobic” language involved. “Trans-positive feminism” also often reinforces misogyny by supporting sex work and porn, and by shutting down analysis of things like femininity and makeup because “some women like it.” See also from trans activists: misogyny racism homophobia + lesbophobia

9. Similar to (7) there is no consistent distinction between sex and gender across law. Even so, this is another red herring as it is possible to recognise both sex and gender in laws and policies. Some laws already do (at least functionally, if not explicitly).

You can deny it but the TRA train is leaving without you and they’ve been clear about their goals. As you’ve seen in this post, gender is intended to replace sex. Those who bring up sex-based issues are silenced as “terfs” who deserve the hatred thrown at them.

Sorry for making such a long post but I was on a roll so I just kept writing. I don’t expect @terflies​ to respond to all of this but I wanted an excuse to make some sort of masterpost that links to a lot of my other posts and can be used in the future. Online school is going pretty well and I’m trying to start some doing some hobbies that are better than tumblr blogging.