#no im not happy about it but i just wont read it its fine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ravengards-rogue · 11 months ago

Text

WHAT SET YOU FREE, BROUGHT YOU TO ME BABY.

rdr2 men + short blurbs about their favorite sex positions.

ft. arthur morgan, john marston, javier escuella, and charles smith.

✧ tags : SPOILER HEAVY, fem + afab!reader, unprotected sex, light angst (in the horny post is crazy im sorry fdkjjkds), very gendered language, javier says one thing in spanish (thank u @nanamimizz), a little sprinkle of plot with each (and some canon divergency), john co-parents w abigail, otherwise just horny. 18+

✧ wc : about 1.4-8k each (6.3k total)

✧ a/n : sorry for making a multi character post for the cowboy game its cooking me to death. my john bias is showing rip. title is from rebel yell by billy idol but i listen to the bvb cover

sorry about charles and javiers but if i edit this anymore im going to level an entire city using hollow purple technique. please rb if you enjoyed i worked kind of hard on whatever this is.

sorry for . the THIRD repost of this i promise i wont after this. its just really bugging me. PLEASE

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆ ARTHUR MORGAN + PRONE BONE ;

It’s an odd feelin’ for Arthur.

Wanting something, he means. Wanting anything as much as he wants you. He’s lived a less than quiet life up until now. And he ain’t the brightest, certainly, but living this kind of life teaches you many lessons. One of them being, it’s better not to covet anything. Coveting something you’re not entitled to, well—it’ll lead you places you wouldn’t want to go with a gun.

Arthur has made the mistake of coveting love before, dreamed of a future so completely out of his reach he almost convinced himself it was possible. Dreamed of it so foolishly he’d even go visit a woman he very well ought to forget. It’s his problem, his burden to bear - always desiring outcomes unsuited to him.

He’s just that sort of man he reckons. But he learned his lesson. He tries (tried?) to stay away from it after that. Tried not to pine too much for normalcy when such hopes had failed him twice. The loss of his child completely on his account and the loss of his love at the same fate.

So, wanting you - well, he feels like the world's dullest fool. Really. How is it that Arthur had fallen in love with someone again? It had all just happened so quickly. You were another woman he’d saved from the O’Driscolls, though it wasn’t like you were no damsel. A lot of those men were dead by the time they arrived. That sort of perseverance would stick with you while you traveled together. Much like Sadie, you didn’t take well to housework - you liked to earn your keep. Though you’re not nearly so trigger happy.

You’re quiet, thoughtful, well-read. Plus you’re good at making money. That’s why Dutch don't complain about you joining them, he figures.

(Arthur tries not to pry into it too much at first, but he eventually learns that you’re gambling. Which is how you’re able to make such a fast turn around. A prim little lady like you makes for a fine poker player, and you love to play men out of their money. He thinks it’s one of the funniest and most interesting things about you. He can’t help but love you a little more for it. )

When the feelings in him start to stir, Arthur tries to overlook it. Arthur convinces himself, time and time again - that there’s no way he’ll grow more tender about you. Eventually, it’ll die down. You’re a decent woman is all, a kind one - who’s easy for him to love and even easier for him to confide in. In your time together, you often come to Arthur and you always seem to have some profound wisdom he is so sorely lacking. Someone easy to love, who does not expect much from Arthur at all. It’s only natural a lonely, covetous man like him would start to dream about you. He tells himself, it will pass eventually. Should he simply let it run by him, it will pass. But Arthurs a fool, you’ll remember.

Of course, by the time he understood all that - he already loved you enough that he couldn’t bear it. It was already too late and it wasn’t going to change any time soon. Especially not while everything changed around him.

So, Arthur is undoubtedly a fool, but he’s lucky. He felt divinely blessed when you’d returned his feelings for him so politely. A coy little smile on your face, a laugh like you thought he was silly for being doubtful. Arthur tried to explain himself but you wouldn’t hear a word of it. Maybe that’s another thing he loves so much about you. There’s nothing he ever needs to explain.

In any case, all Arthur seems to do lately is want you. Wants you when it’s inconvenient. Wants you before he wants liquor or a cigarette or some other vice. Any time anything goes wrong, you’re the first thing his mind can conjure up for relief. That pretty smile and that self-assured way of living. It’s hard to get time alone in camp. And Arthur is a man in love, so any touch could be enough to set him on fire. Last week you hugged his waist a little before giving him a kiss goodbye and he had to listen to you laugh yourself into a fit as he waited for…little Arthur to settle down.

He don’t get many chances to be with you. Lay with you in that way that grown folk in love do. Though, if the two of you book it somewhere for a few days - the camp knows better not to ask where you’ve been. But it’s not often you get to really be together, where it’s peaceful to do that. Someone’s always hounding one of you to do something.

Arthur is a lucky man though, like he said. Today he had time. Today he’s alone with you in a beat up little saloon and today he gets to do as he likes. He gets to be greedy. And it’s an odd feeling for him, really, to want something so bad he disregards everything else in the world for a little while.

Feeling you, though - absolves the guilt for wanting. He’d be stupid to want you any less desperately.

Arthur’s favorite way to have you is on your stomach. Laid flat, just barely pushed up against him as he fucks you deep. You’ll fuck like rabbits for a little while and Arthur will wear you out just like this, maneuvering you until you’re pinned all underneath his weight. You lose any fight you might have, too exhausted to worry yourself with pleasing him - and when you’re like that, you let Arthur take care of you.

(He really ain’t talented at much, but he’s good with his hands. Being dexterous is part of being a talented shot. When Arthur has the time to spread you sweet in his lap and make you cum all over his fingers, he does so for as long as he can. At least until you beg him so sweetly otherwise. The same hands, soiled with gunsmoke, look so good so deep in you. At least in his eyes.)

Wet and pliable and helpless. Arthur loves you like that. He knows, he knows you’re anything but - but he’d be damned to pretend this don’t feel best. Tight, wet cunt so welcoming from all the pleasure he’s ripped out of you. Your bodies pressed together, your heartbeat pulsing through your skin. All sticky, honeyed need and animal desire as Arthur lets all of him sink on top of you. His heavy, lumbering form crushing you in - trapping you somewhere you can’t run from him. The curve of your spine pushed against his chest, ticklish.

Every inch of his body that so wholly wants for you, Arthur aches to make you feel. Burn it in you lest anything happens that risks your forgetting.

He can feel his hips meet your ass, backside squished against him - desperate for deeper friction. Whining. You’re whining to him so pretty, a pillow pushed underneath you to give friction to needy clit.

Arthur can feel how much you want more. Maybe Arthur is greedy, but he likes that look much better on you. Your pussy is sucking him in so tight, silken walls pulsing with every shallow little measured thrust. Arthur lets his arm wrap around your neck, your face pressing into his bicep. You moan again and he laughs.

“Arthur,” Your words come out in a messy slur. He lets his scruffy face press against your neck, a kiss behind your ear. He wants to kiss you all over. There’s not enough hours in the day. “Oh, god, Arthur,”

“Still feels good, then, I’m guessin’,”

��Shut up,” You huff and press your cheek into his arm. He doesn’t bother stifling his laugh. “Still feels…big. Stretchin’ me out—hicc—so much,”

You really don’t try to rile him up - but you do a damn good job of it anyway. He groans, grunts as he pulls back and pistons himself in you. A gesture half-way between a kiss and the warning shot of a gun. The sound of skin hitting skin echoes, noisy and vulgar. Arthur don’t pay it much mind. He laughs against your shoulder.

“One of these days, that moutha’ yours is gonna get me in real trouble.”

You giggle back at him

“What kinda trouble is that now?”

Even from your side glance, you’ve got that lovely little smile on you. Fuckdrunk and ingratiating, like you know he’s wrapped so tight around your fingers. And he is, like nothing else in the world could have him. A wave of possession curls up over Arthur, makes him press more of himself into you. Onto you. Another deep push of his cock, sliding against the tenderest parts of you. Staking some silent desire in you. He wants and wants and wants, and hopes that whatevers above him can forgive him for making the same mistake thrice.

“Dunno,” Arthur comments, teeth grazing your shoulder and kissing the indentations “Got our whole lives together to find out, I reckon.”

“I’ll hold you to it, Mister.”

Arthur laughs. “Hope you do, Miss.”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆ JOHN MARSTON + COWGIRL ;

John doesn’t say that he loves you lightly.

Hardly a thing he says can be said that way. Could never afford too. In an alternate universe where nothing goes wrong in his life, maybe - but he has a hard time picturing what the hell that’d look like. A version of himself so untainted, without all of the violence and blood and gunsmoke? Foreign. John can’t picture it worth a damn.

Who John is without a deadbeat father and a dead Ma is somewhere far beyond his reach. Ain’t nothing about his life, at any point, lighthearted.

On top of all that mess, he’s got a boy at age four with a woman he ain’t married too. And that relationship is always on rocky waters, even though John’s decided to do right by his own flesh and blood sometime ago. Most things in the world he should feel good about he doesn’t, and most things he should understand render him clueless. He’s a mess on multiple accounts, and he still doesn’t know how exactly he’s meant to approach this life of his. He knows what he should do, but nothing about how to do it.

John doesn’t come to love you easily ‘cause he wouldn’t know easy love if it hit him in his face. Quickly and painfully, but not easily.

Your return to the gang was an odd one. You were an old presence and your disappearance was an even older story. John thought he’d never gonna see you again for sure. You’d been a part of the gang back long before all of the nonsense that took place in Blackwater and you left about the time Arthur’s boy died. John don’t remember why you left exactly. He thinks it was a fight with Hosea, of all things.

Dutch weren't too happy about it neither, but Dutch back then didn’t make a show.

So you left, and John buried every feeling he ever harbored. You found all them again up in Colter, where you’d been living out your days lately. According to you, in the middle of riding, you thought you’d heard Arthur. So, somewhat recklessly, you went chasing him. Didn’t matter if he was just something your mind conjured. According to you, if it was him, it was at least worth checking to make sure. You’d reunited with Arthur and after some tears, he rode with you back to camp.

Upon your return, the gang welcomed you with open arms.

You’d done a lot in your time alone.You spent most of that time just like that, a ghost wanderin’ the planes. You weren’t gonna stay with ‘em, but Arthur insisted and Hosea did too. That wasn’t enough to compel, so John was last to chip in. You should stay, at least until Valentine.

(Silently he thought, you should stay so John can trace memories of you. It was so long ago, he should’ve forgotten all of it. You were a year older than John and always on his ass but easy for him to talk to. Didn’t fuss over his failures. You just barely grew into your womanhood when you set your sights on running away. You wanted more than this life, and John never really forgave you for it. His first heartbreak, maybe - but it’s all too blurry for that.

You understood him though better than anyone, and one day you were gone. Nothing’s really the same.)

You changed tremendously and not at all. He missed you. God, did he ever. Missed you a long time. Didn’t realize how much until you came back and everything in him felt right again. Your return stirred up old feelings and everyone noticed. He wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, but he really wasn’t trying to fall back into anything with you. Not how he did.

Just like you did back then, you read John like an open book. And just like he did back then, he loved you all too helplessly for it. It was just all too easy again, to be with you.

You stayed out of the way at first, for the sake of his family.

But, John ain’t a half-decent man even when he’s trying to be. So he set himself on being with you. It wasn’t easy - most things with him aren’t as you’ll see. Having you around again straightened what was left of his common sense, at least. He told Abigail before telling you. He figured you wouldn’t even reply unless that was all out of the way. That turned out as well as you’d expect.

It was settled between the two of you thereafter. He’s lucky she didn’t toss him into the street.

Everything works out in a way. As best they can between broken people. You make peace with each other. His boy loves you like a third parent (you’re better with him than John is). Abigail commends you for straightening out such a worthless man though she’s a little melancholy. John just tries to stay out of the way. You’ll be together in the end. There’s a plan with the five of you.

But until it all falls apart, he doesn’t get all that much time with you.

There’s moments like tonight, though. Rare ones. Together out robbin’, cooped out some place in the woods where no one is around. A place so shaded by nightfall that John can absolve himself of every sin he’s ever committed in his life and pray at the altar between your hips. John is convinced he might find worship like he’s always hearing about there whenever he touches you, the marred skin of his hands and knuckles reading the scripture of your body with careful precision.

You might turn him into a literate man yet.

John glances up at you. Only the light of the fire and the moonlight there to accompany as he watches you over him. You’re beautiful. John couldn’t picture a single thing more perfect in his life.

Your hands against his bare chest, nails digging into the flesh as you lean forward. Your palm dug into the dirt, John finds his own hands rested at your hips. John looks at you awe-struck, cock twitching at the mere sight. His heart settles in his throat, but he’s calm all at the same time. With you, he forgets. All of it. The worst of himself.

Bare naked and so close, he watches your face as you strain. You feel soft. Every inch of you in comparison to him is. A bead of sweat slides down the valley of your breasts. John cranes his neck up to catch it with his tongue, licking a stripe up to your neck - letting his teeth sink into the space between your jaw and neck. You want to make it last and John doesn’t blame you. It’s so rare you get to have each other so unrestrained. John can feel all the ways you want him, can see it in your face - all pinched with need. You’re holding yourself back, trying to get it to last as long as the night will allow. It’s cute in a way.

It’s different than how he’s used to seein’ you, all cocky or otherwise. You’re needy like this. Just needy. His stomach turns with lust, jolting through him like a strike of lightning. His cock twitches against your folds, sliding against them. Pure admiration watching the sticky mess of his pre-cum and your own arousal mix together and smear on your mound. You make a soft noise in the back of your throat, faint and tender as you fall forward just a little. John laughs against your neck.

“Darlin’,” He says with a huff. Not malice. Something akin to bliss, where he can rarely afford it “Have I done something to piss you off today?”

You pick yourself up and look down at him and frown. John kisses the corner of your mouth, resisting some crude desire to fuck up into you.

“Just,” You grunt as the tip of his cock passes over your throbbing clit, your whole body wracking to a shiver. John looks awed. “Pent up. Goddamn it,”

John figures it out quickly after that. It’s this part of it he likes. The proximity. The closeness. Feeling the tremble in your hands as they struggle to keep up right, muscles strained in your forearms. Being able to hold you, to keep the pace or let you take the lead. The clear view of your face as pleasure travels up through your spine and melts into you. He grabs your hips, the fat dimpling underneath his fingers as he moves you along. He can’t wait. You don’t bother to protest seeing John can’t seem to bear it anymore. You collapse into his chest, your tits pushed flat against his pecs.

His cock throbs near painfully, sliding against your soft cunt before finding himself lined with you. He thinks to himself that it’s this he was looking for, as he tucks your face against his neck and lets his tip stretch you out slowly. Such a vice like grip, stretching - resisting him like your whole body can’t anticipate the sensation of fullness. You gasp against his throat.

“John,”

What a sweet sound from your mouth, even sweeter as he bucks himself up. Keeps you steady and lets his cock stretch you full, feel you deep. “That’s right, my angel. Didn’t think you’d remember my name when you’re all worked up like this.”

“You’re,” You gasp and John thrusts, thrusts hard until he’s buried to the hilt. You shudder, walls pulsing around him as he bottoms out and John laughs like the terrible man he is. He fucks you again, over and over - a wicked little smile watching “Awful. Just awful, John Marston,”

“Ain’t that the truth,” He hums against your mouth as his hand snakes between your bodies, thumb rubbing against your clit. “Wonder what kinda woman that makes you,”

“A foolish one,”

John laughs.

“I sure do love you for it,”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆JAVIER ESCUELLA + SIDEWAYS ;

Javier hasn’t thought about much other than surviving.

It’s been like that. Been like that for a while, probably much longer than he cares to admit. He’s sure any sane man would suffer the same plight if they lead the same life. Anything but survival is little more than a pipe-dream, so Javier tries not to go for anything too strongly. In that aspect he’s like many of the members of the gang he’s in, perhaps that’s why he sticks to them. There’s that phrase Hosea’s always saying - that misery loves company. Javier will take any decent company he can get. He’s desperate for it just like he’s desperate for most things - inwardly, silently.

Some of that desperation may be symptomatic of who he is. After he killed a man in a crime of passion for a woman he loved and ran from a government who would sooner exile him than change, Javier decided to not dream anymore. Every revolutionary who dreams too hopefully pays the price in blood.

(Javier thinks there’s probably nothing in the world as true as this. A form of gospel. He remembers the first dream he ever had after his uncle passed. Not a nightmare but a dream. He remembers the exact feeling of waking up, cold and confused. What is a dream, except a memento of survivor's guilt that loyal people cling onto fruitlessly. When hope starts to feel like a debt he’s going to waste his life paying back, Javier loses sight of everything. The beginning of the end in some way.)

His mind doesn’t occupy itself with anything bigger than that. Since Dutch found him starving, there was never a desire to try and live off aspirations. He pays his penance with loyalty and honor. Practices some form of humility and tries, not too desperately, to carve a place for him to fit. All without drawing too much attention or caring too much. If you ignore the bleeding in his fingers, his penchant for knives over guns, and his refusal to talk too long about the place he comes from - it’s nearly believable that none of it matters.

Except loyalty. All Javier honors is that. It’s the only thing he has some part in choosing, so he choses it every time. Living like that didn’t make any difference to him. He was surrounded by mostly decent people. He didn’t hate the life he was living.

It wasn’t important. It didn’t matter. His directionless-ness, his floating. Hadn’t since he joined the gang. At least not to anyone but him. He didn’t know what he’s meant to do or if he was meant to proceed with this forever. He was (is) loyal to Dutch. To the gang.

He hadn’t thought much about what comes after.

And it didn’t matter until he met you

He’d sworn off love after seeing where it got him, at least until he could love more dispassionately. When the women bring you back from their outing from Valentine and beg Dutch to let you stay, Javier doesn’t think much of it all. He thinks you’re pretty, if it counts for anything. But he doesn’t let himself linger on you too long.

But that’s the sequence with you two, really. The whole time. He doesn’t linger until he does. It doesn't matter until it does. He doesn’t think about you until it’s all he can think about.

You go for him first. And it’s in little, unimportant ways that might not mean shit to you but mean a whole lot to him. You have some kind of tenderness about you that you wear deep, runs through your blood like love ran through his once long ago. Some softness he can’t really measure with his own. It’s not that that gets him. It’s that sometimes you look at Javier like he's … someone you want to see. He forgot what that was like all together. It felt foreign to him the first time it happened. Seeing how you light up when Javier is around.

You wanted to see him. You noticed that he’s gone. If he sang by the campfire - you’d sit by him and listen. If he was out in the trees keeping guard, he’d hear the soft call of your voice to Grimshaw ask Where’s Javier? And sometimes the girls will make fun of you - but you wouldn’t deny anything they said. It’s so small and ordinary. He would’ve never considered himself simple before meeting you. Nothing is simple. Nothing.

(But then, Javier thinks of the kinds of songs he sings and the way he takes care of himself and the clothes he wears and maybe Javier has some kind of affinity for preciousness that explains all of it.)

When Javier confesses his feelings for you - he finds the affair to be like most things between you. Ordinary love, not really between outlaws but people. It’s up against a tree while you share a drink and he’s looking at the curve of your mouth and the plum color Karen’s so kindly put on you. And his head fills with kissing you so he does. A breathless confession between alcohol stains and the feeling of your hands curled in the lapels of his suit.

From there, Javier is your lover. He’s not interested in the business of secrets, but he tries not to let it show too much. Not that he doesn’t want to. He wants to show you off more than anything - at least some part of him does. But the other part wants to keep you away from prying eyes, keep his love for you only where the both of you can see. If he could keep that pretty lovestruck face you make all to himself forever he would.

When he gets a chance to whisk you away from everything, Javier jumps at the chance. Not often, but Javier makes time for you. Makes time to indulge in love he thought he’d never find again.

That’s why he’s here with you in the middle of nowhere, a ghost town where no one knows you.. A reserved room with a bed and lowlights all to yourselves.

Javier can’t keep his hands to himself and he doubts you expect him too.

For Javier, this sense of proximity is what intoxicates him most. The warmth of your bare skin in the slivers of yourself exposed. Javier is fond of finding you like this after a long day of horse riding. Of sneaking touches to your waist as you push back against him to sleep, only to find his desire for you - laid clearly. He likes hearing you whimper feeling his length poke against your back, the embarrassment when it dawns on you that he wants you after all. Always surprised, even though Javier tells you it so often. Whispers it along your neck and shoulders whenever you’re at camp together.

You like the feeling of his hands so Javier always starts with them. He squeezes your hips. Planes his palms over your chest before squeezing your chest, pushing the fat between his fingers. You like the way they look when they grope you, his chin resting against your shoulder as you spoon. In the lowlights of a cheap hotel - Javier gets the perfect view of your silhouette. Your body is sensitive over the fabric of your gown, heat prickling through you.

Javier who is always so gentle with you, rouses so deep listening to your whining as he explores your body. The suffocating closeness of a single bed intoxicates him.

“Javier,” Your voice is sweet and thin. Plays in Javier’s head like music and makes his mouth curl up into a catlike grin as you push back on him. You look slightly over your shoulder, lips pushed into a pout. “Please,”

He tugs at the fabric of your nightgown. The top half pulls haphazard underneath your tits, nipples perky and sensitive to touch while the skirt pools at your waist. What gets Javier like this is the desperation. Wanting so much but not being able to look too long. A way for you to mirror him, it’s a matter of possession. In some stupid way. Bunching your clothes up, pushing the fabric of your panties to one side, letting his arm wrap around your waist to touch and tease. All of these are imprints of his longing, tucked faithful into your side as he whispers sweet nothings into your skin.

His cock twitches as it pushes past your folds with finality, your hands curling up at your sides. You whimper softly, let your cheek rest against the sheets as Javier takes you on your side. Terribly close, you fuss as you feel him slide every inch into you slow, your hands reaching back for purchase. It’s the fit of you against him so perfect, the silent strokes of intimacy, the hush-hush giggles between the sheets that Javier loves most about fucking you like this. Too enamored with you to look too closely, he lets his eyes flutter closed. He could get drunk just being in your space.

He carves out space for himself inside of you, feels your cunt accommodate for him like it loves him. A feverishness breaks out as his forehead rests on the space between your shoulders, an uncharacteristic whiny quality in his words.

“Ser mío,” Javier says - as a reflection of what he really wants, to belong only to you. “Belong to me.”

Darling as you always are, you nod softly.

“All yours, Javier,” You whimper, finding his hand. “Forever,”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆ CHARLES SMITH + MATING PRESS ;

Wandering.

He’s been doing it his whole life. Not something he’s proud of. Or ashamed of either, really. Just how things have gone for him until now. Charles doesn’t think his life has been any better or any worse than anyone else's. At least not when he weighs it with the same kind of pragmatism he does most things. It’s been a hard life, and a miserable one in so many ways. Still, it’s not something Charles is too keen to dwell on.

There’s just something thematic about loss in Charles' life in a way he finds completely unpleasant. It’s more constant than anything. Loss of his home, loss of his mother, loss of his father in an attempt to find what’s best for him. It’s some overarching message that hangs over his head like a shadow. Everywhere he goes, trying to rectify his own solitude seems to come back to him. It doesn’t help that it’s an unfair world to start with, and would’ve been if he had just been black or just been native. But Charles is both, and has lived a life that reflects that specific injustice thoroughly.

There’s not really anything Charles can do about it, at its baseline. When he left his father, the name of the game had simply been survival. He was well-equipped enough for that at least. But after survival comes trying to live and trying to live isn’t something so simple. Jumping in and out of gangs who thought they could get away with slighting him or generally being surrounded by unpleasant people. Trying to find something in pages of book and scripture, or in the way water ripples when it rains.

He’s never felt any one way towards the gang. Even when he joined them all the way back in the Grizzlies. Lost in the cold, they’d crossed paths as Charles was out hunting. A lot of it feels like a blur. Of all the folks he’s met in his travels though, Dutch treats him fair and the rest of them (or most of them) are decent, honest folk. Charles stays in the Van Der Linde gang for such simple reasons as trying to stay alive and be somewhere that isn’t actively hostile towards him. He’s a good gunman, and a better fighter. The inner workings of gang politics and forging connection isn’t at the forefront of his mind, with the exception of the kindest few.

The Van Der Linde gang is just a place where he can figure out what his purpose is meant to be, even if he doesn’t find it there. He’s never expecting anything to come out from his loyalties to it.

Of all the things Charles expects of his life in the Van Der Linde gang, love is at the very bottom of the list.

Maybe it’s about time he stops being surprised by these things happening to him one or way another.

You were a member of the gang far before him, and someone Charles took to quickly. You’d joined the gang not too long after John from what Arthur tells him. Though the brunette speaks about you more fondly than he does his brother. A problem child at the start, according to Arthur - always getting into all sorts of trouble. Something you seemingly feel embarrassed about now and refuse to bring up. Charles has a hard time picturing it having only known you as you are.

The woman you’ve grown into is someone else completely, and Charles sees that in you all the time. Compassionate like Hosea but charismatic like Dutch, and clever. And you’re beautiful, too, though Charles feels a little shallow admitting that’s part of what drew you into him.

It wasn’t Charles that approached you first. You were the one who spoke to him, as often as you thought necessary but never in a way he found invasive. He doesn’t know what it is exactly about you that charms him near instantly. You’re enigmatic to a fault. It’s like you always know exactly what to say and exactly when to say it. Even more than that, you’re a terribly pleasant person to be around. Subtly warm and free of assumptions. When Charles talks to you about anything, you listen without making him feel like it’s any sort of burden to you. You don’t pry, don’t make missteps. Treat him fair, and then some.

It’s unbearably simple, just how quickly and how easily he comes to adore you. And, in some ways, Charles knows better than to believe that his purpose is loving someone. There’s more to it than that, surely - after everything.

But then, he’ll watch you do something. Watch you do some kind of menial work that he could do for you instead. Thinks of skinning animals for new clothes and chopping wood and rubbing the soap off of you and all of a sudden it makes him feel anchored. Everything he could do for you. You anchor Charles easily, with a wispy smile. Make him want to find purpose in life with you. He never wants to be somewhere you’re not.

He confesses it to you just like that, and like you do with most things - you accept and reciprocate without making too much of a fuss.

For Charles, making love is an extension of wanting to ground himself in you. A distant siren song - the intersection of lust and bone deep adoration. Like most things, you’re the one to approach first every time. A soft hand on his forearm, a whisper that you want him. It’s with ease that he draws you away. Drags from you camp during nightfall with his horse and blankets and picks a spot with the perfect view of the stars.

Charles watches you under the glow of moonlight, his vision adjusting to you easily. Naked underneath him, laid on your back with your legs folded at your knees - heaving deep breaths. He can see the sweat beading down your skin, your chest rising and falling - and the perfect view of your pussy. His hands and mouth are wet as you breathe out. He finds himself smiling at you, his own erection pressed against your thigh, pre-cum leaking out in a mesmerized haze.

You lift your hands up and he leans down, surprised as you wrap them around his neck and pull him closer to you. Your mouths meet like that, and Charles laughs against your lips as you kiss him so eagerly. You blink at him, pretty. You’re always prettier than he remembers you being the last time he looks.

“Charles,” You frown at him. “It’s impolite to keep a lady waiting,”

He kisses the corner of your mouth. “Sorry, my love. I don’t want to hurt you,”

“Well, I’m fine with it,” You repeat, almost petulant. Charles frowns. “‘Sides, it ain’t my first time taking you, you know?”

“Well, I’m not fine with it.”

You pout, looking at him all endeared. Charles couldn’t help but love you even if he tried. “You ain’t gonna hurt me. C’mon. Please?”

“Please, what?”

You look at him aghast before breaking out into a faux-scandalized giggle. “Now you—please fuck me. Pretty, please.”

Charles feels something tickling against his spine hearing you say it. He couldn’t imagine getting sick of you in his whole life. “Yeah, that’s good to hear.”

You make an indignant noise but it’s silenced quickly as Charles positions himself against your entrance. He has plenty of discipline when it comes to matters like these, but right now - he feels like he’s going to lose his mind. Not nearly enough patience to wait. He lets his hands go up underneath your knees just to have something to hold onto.

You make a little gasp as the tip of his cock pushes into you. Your walls are so soft, likely after all the orgasms he’d given you prior. You stop him in a shocked gasp, and Charles immediately readies himself to pull out. As if sensing his hesitance, you shake your head.

“Charles,” You gasp, the words caught in your throat and hoarse “Deep. Want it deep,”

His abdomen tightens, cocking twitching hard at your words. He agrees silently to your desires.

When it comes to sex, there’s very little Charles dislikes.

But this is his favorite. He’s simple but no other position lets him see you so close. He likes the way your eyes widen as he pushes up underneath your knees and folds you underneath his weight. How you look pinned down under him, the perfect view of your eyes rolling back into your head and the proximity from your face to his. He lets his cock stretch you out slowly, throbbing each time your nails dig desperately into arms trying to keep your composure. Fuck you feel so tight like that. Soft pussy, dripping and sticky. You suck him in relentlessly, and Charles groans as he bottoms out. You take every inch of him so well. So perfect like the rest of you.

Your eyes flutter open as he stays there, buried in you in complete bliss. You’re dazed.

“Kiss?”

Surprise followed by adoration, he abides by your request easily. Overwhelmed with it as he presses a chaste peck to your mouth, he laughs. “As many as you want.”

Anything you want, Charles thinks, he would give to you.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

#arthur morgan x reader #john marston x reader #javier escuella x reader #charles smith x reader #rdr2 x reader #rogues love letters #red dead redemption 2 x reader #THIS IS THE LAST TIME. THE LAST FUCKING TIME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2K notes · View notes

pixieskie · 1 year ago

Text

˖˚˳⊹"i really do love you.. im sorry"˖˚˳⊹

-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?

masterlist

as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..

“helloooo” scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.

Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. “what’re you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?”

“sorry.. i just spaced out” you said embarrassed.. “just continue the movie, ill pay attention this time”.. Scara simply muttered a small ‘fine’ and resumed it.

Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.

“Yes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....”

“ooh i just bought a new bikini…..”

“wont it be too sunny? ill get tanne….”

you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip… you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.

“guys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are close”

“again? but didnt you say the same last week…”

“oh come on! itll be so fun…”

“ugh she does the same everytime…”

Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..

The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..

Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..

You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..

But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..

Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..

You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.

“where the fuc- YOURE HERE?” Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. “Ive been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat something”

You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. “Scara?” he was about to leave but turned back to look at you “yeah?”

“I love you”

He chuckled in confusion “yeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.”

You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..

You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..

And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..

Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..

There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.

‘Im so tired… Im so tired..” You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. ‘i hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be done’

You took a deep breath in.. “i really do love you.. im sorry”...

…..

tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25

261 notes · View notes

feistyvirghoe · 5 months ago

Text

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ❝ 𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑺 𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵?? ❞ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧

*this can be taking action anywhere in your life, whatever has been on your mind that you’re contemplating, something you’re scared of doing because it brings up feelings of fear and anxiety, don’t engage if you’re not prepared for whatever comes out…just want to help you guys out if you’re nervous to do something you know you want to do, that’ll benefit you in the end :) <333*

pick a card disclaimers ೃ💓⁀➷

pick a pile u feel most called to, the one u cannot look away from, the one that is pulsing, go with your gut, always trust yourself, and if u feel called to more that’s cool baby boo! there’s more for u!

these are general and for a vast amount of ppl, don’t get ur undies all twisted up bc it’s not resonating, it’s normal and it’s fine, this just wasn’t for u! <3

these are extremely general collective timeless readings and they’re meant for entertainment purposes, please don’t take things so seriously and also realize my readings are for people above 18!

╰┈➤ ❝ [ i feel like this thing you are holding off on is something that would make you really happy. Emotionally satisfied, this is like a gift from the universe, this thing has you in your head obviously but i feel like there needs to be moderation with how you’ll go about this, when you decide to take action. I feel like you’re more of a logical thinker than having that natural blind faith you know, second guessing the outcome of what’s going to happen with this certain thing you’re taking a pause on. It’s your mind and i feel like that may be the whole theme for this entire PAC. I dont know why im just picking up like you not feeling like you’re good enough for this. And you are good enough, it’s the worry. That anxiety and fear surrounding this endeavor, passion project, goal etc. whatever it is, it looks so good to you from the eye and your can see that it’d make you fucking happy and feeling so fulfilled and enjoying the pleasure you get from starting this thing. Be more patient with yourself and your abilities, your progress. I just feel like you’re holding onto this idea that it wont come or if it did come or happen the way you expected or similar to what your expectation was that it’d be short lived joy. But im seeing that this is going to make you so happy. I feel like you need to balance out your feelings towards this and what i mean is taking some time to re-evaluate if this fear is coming from a real place of concern of if its just your ego telling you lies about this. Making up false scenarios, and i know that feeling because you can really get trapped in your own mind by thinking of what could really go wrong. I feel like you know what to do, but i want you guys to take some time to really take a step back from your mind and all of these overwhelming thoughts and look at the situation with more love and compassion for it but for yourself as well, dont belittle your qualities and what makes you stand out, i just feel like their needs to be more patience and to help yourself release what’s truly bothering you in your head, because the overthinking and fear is making you scared or just really hesitant to even go after this. You got this, you fucking got it and you need to see that for yourself as well, believing in what you can do, what you can also add to the plate. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [off the bat immediately im just scared, like a slight panic with you guys. I hope you all are okay, im trying to figure out why the hell you so scared to do this, because from what im seeing, this is going to boost you financially and probably even have you feeling stable and secure monetarily. And do not even say that you need people to do this, because i can also see that you have it all on your own, very self-sufficient, feeling fucking at ease once you have gotten the hang of it, its like you get past the initiation process and you’re finally adapting to the environment. Putting in that hard work and not giving up on yourself and what you can do. I feel like you’re naturally skilled in this, but here’s the thing. I feel like something struck you, it could be a relationship and not just romantic either. But this bs hit you hard and im sorry you guys. I feel like you gave your all to something and you were so excited about t6his thing but then some weird unhinged shit happened that just tore into your fucking soul. I feel like you’re feeling like “why even bother?” “why even try?” Im just getting this heaviness on your heart dude, it’s like you only got one more to give and it’s your last before you break and crumble. This journey is not easy and i know , you’re tired, worn out, feeling burnt out but it’s so worth it dude! Not you being burnt out and feeling fucking exhausted, but what you want to do is worth it my love. What would help you guys more is if you just take the time out of your day to be more kinder to yourself, more self-love, no self-hatred. You went through the weirdness, left feeling defeated and just low on gas but i can see you just picking yourself back up little by little which is okay because you dont need to rush yourself, especially comparing it to others, they dont know you and you dont know them, i feel like you may take it a little personal which is your right you know, but your have been growing and moving forward with your life, not staying stuck in this downward spiral of intense sadness, even depression. I’m feeling like you’re crossing over into new territory so it’s new and scary for you to tackle. But once you go ahead and consistently do it and keep up with this, mannnnnn, you dont even know and i see, the not knowing getting to y’all. I understand the wanting to know and the curiosity but let yourself be surprised along the way, nothing is really set in stone but doing this would just make you feel like a fucking boss! I’m wishing you lots of love and luck and blessings, i love you. ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [ okay so you guys, i feel like it’s other people around you, listening to the people around you, are they trying to influence you and tell you what to do? I dont want to come off as harsh with you guys but i feel like this may also be about you guys not taking this thing so serious. It’s like you are distracted, being led another way, its like you know exactly where you want to go but you seem to have something that’s close to you, whether it be friends or vices or even just a bad habit, this thing is causing you to feel temporarily fulfilled for a short time. When this thing seems more long-term. I mean your have the fucking power to do so, this optimism. I feel like you guys may be looking at this as like “I’ll get it done later” “it can wait another day, it’s okay.” But I didn’t really feel so in the beginning, idk im just getting that there’s some sort of weird influence making you a little ablivious to the realness of this thing. I mean it doesn’t have to be so serious, this is differing for everyone. Did you complete this already with passing colors and it brought a good amount of abundance but now you’re like not taking this as serious as you did before. Im feeling like you know already, like deep down you’re aware of your gifts and what you can do, is it the ego? I feel like you guys are like “it doesn’t matter that much because i can do what the fuck i want” your pile seems more carefree than the others, like everything has already worked out so why do you need to do more? But i mean if you’re reading this it seems like in the back of your head you want to do this. I just feel liken its outside influences, partying a lot, destructive behavior a little, talking too much with friends, well gossiping but place it where it fits. I feel like you guys may be “stuck” in your comfort zone, the area where you’re feeling so content and not wanting to leave it behind, i mean you dont have to leave anything behind, but taking a step outside of your home, your personal space, even that “comforting” mindset which we know it can keep us stuck, thinking that you wouldn’t really have to be responsible with this, because it’ll never really leave you if its for you and maybe that’s another thing, taking the spiritual terms a little too deep, like baby, we’re going to have to push ourselves to get out of this limiting thinking, you’re allowed to have more for yourself, it’s okay to want more for yourself. Especially if t5his thing is making you happy and feeling fucking complete inside. But its really giving off you ended a cycle and not to say cycles are bad, but when we get used to its for so long it can be really comforting and “peaceful” to stay there, but you know you’re capable and can do wayyyy more than you’re anticipating. I feel like some advice for you is to assess this carefully and really weigh out the options, weighing the scale. Doing what you feel is really right for you. Doing this is feel will make you feel a bit more confident in who you are what the fuck you can also do, take a step outside and breathe in the new phase of your life.] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [oh my pile fours, are you guys psyching yourself out of this? This feels like a project of some sort and you over here coming out as this courageous, strong minded, independent individual , and you seem to be fearless, but im also getting that this may be a team effort, maybe you dont like asking for help. This is something you cant do alone, or without a second opinion. You seem to have this very innovative mind, like its not that difficult for you to create or even start with your projects, but im getting there needs to be more of a lighter approach to this. You’re coming off as this extremely okay I didn’t want to say feisty lol, but yeah feisty and extremely serious. I feel like this pile goes after things without thinking, you know taking some time to look at the whole picture and then see what needs to get done. It’s just coming off as if you need to do this all alone or by yourself. I also feel like its trust issues, feeling like you have to hold onto your swords so no one will come in and snatch it away from you. I feel like you may be this way because of deceitful people in the past, people who screwed you over and manipulated the situation. Another thing here is taking action on a relationship, it doesn’t have to be, but approaching someone for something, like this makes you nervous,its either you not wanting to trust these/this people/thing/project. You’re holding something within you, and its like dying to come out, its feels like something that you have been planning for quite some time, like its been in the works just marinating and now you’re ready to present something or go after this. I just feel like there is a lot of sneakiness surrounding this, feeling like it may be too good of an opportunity, its either a good ass offer that you want to take up or this could be you offering something as well. I dont think going after this forcefully or very assertive will help much, you may come off as too strong but its okay, because there’s something called the temperance card lmao, okay being serious, you guys gotta relax and calm that stress down, its getting you fired up fr, it could be positive or negative but i feel like its something that would even have you acting/being more in that softer energy. Like doing this would bring some peace and calmness to your life. I feel like you guys may ned to let your guard down a little and loosen up the barrier, to be able to get to this, it feels like it needs to be handled with more care and love, pure love, letting yourself be naked and open in front, not literally lol but its the vulnerability and honesty with shedding the skin, taking the clothes off, clearing up your mental confusion, dont deceive yourself and dont let anyone try to even get one up on you! <333] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [i feel like you guys are the lil cinnamon rolls, the sweet chocolate chip cookies, not too hard and no too soft, just right. You guys have such a sweet energy its weird as soon as i tapped in, even if you may show a more assertive side to yourself i just feel like you guys are really kind and sweet underneath the front. I feel like you guys are really curious and ready to explore this new horizon, but then there’s the hesitation because you may be a bit skeptical of what’s to come when you go for this, and take the step. You have a younger bold energy to you, but also so curious, and I also feel like this would be a full circle moment for you guys. Like once you go ahead with this, it’ll feel like you’re seeing it making more sense as it plays out. I feel like you guys are extremely curious and fascinated with this, it has your focus, like something you have been keeping an eye on. Are you guys feeling like you dont really know where to start because you’re younger and newer to this, i mean you dont have to be young lmao, but its something that’s very new to you. I’m feeling like you may not even want to see past the blindfold because whatever is behind the veil is a little bit nerve wracking, does music help you guys too calm down? Like it just uplifts you, i keep getting distracted and turning my music up to jam haha. It can also be that too, you distracting your mind and letting it take you to your own paradise while you kind of ignore the elephants big ass right in front of you. I feel like you may not know what to really do, but just take your time but also taking too much time and being really patient can delay things for us to. It’s okay to do what makes you happy, if this will make you happy. I’m just feeling like you are at a crossroads and taking some time to think it through and come up with a decision, a choice that feels good for your soul, by listening to your inner wisdom, which is feel is the same as our intuition. I feel like you should think more about how this will impact you, whichever decision you make for yourself, going this or that way. But weighing out the pros and cons for too long will create all these unnecessary illusions and false narratives in your head, I swear everyone in this entire opacity has to work on getting out of their head, even me too! We tend to think and think and think so much, imagine how heavy your head feels boo. I feel like to help you out you need to put this fresher adolescent like energy to use, the curiosity of a child but also the fear of one too, nervous about the big and bad, but you have all the tools you need. I feel like you have these amazing skills that you’re not putting to use, this will change a lot for your whether it may be small or big, nomn matter what, its a whole new phase that’ll open up for you. Listening to the divine whos speaking through me and even developing your amazing skills, nothing wrong with learning and even leaning on others when you need help too. its a good wake up call for you, peeling back old layers of you to bring in More abundant wisdom and also by opening yourself more to this, you’ll gain some knowledge and learn more about your own power that lies within you.] ❞

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆ ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ᴜ ɢᴜʏꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴄ, ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʜᴀʀꜱʜ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʟᴍᴀᴏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪꜱ, ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴘᴀᴛɪᴇɴᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʀᴜꜱʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴇꜱꜱ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏᴋᴀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɢᴏ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪꜱʜ!!! ᴘᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʙᴏᴏ!!!! ⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

140 notes · View notes

dollfaceirene · 1 year ago

Text

irene's 101 guide on how to improve your self concept

hear ye, hear ye! I heard you're tryna improve your self concept but have absolutely no idea where to start so i've made this post to help aid you and hopefully answer your question on the 'how' of improving your self concept.

Firstly, what is your self concept? Your self concept is basically who you perceive youself to be.

For example, if i was to say "do you think you can manifest a sp?" and your response was "ofc not, im not worthy enough" ya da ya da ya, then you perceive yourself as someone who isn't worthy enough for a sp.

Here are some reasons why your self concept may be a lil shaky & how to fix it

You always seek validation from the 3D

As someone who's known about the loa for like 2 years now??, it's basically the unspoken rule to not seek validation from the 3D of your desires materialising because,

a) the 4D (your imagination & inner self) is the cause and the 3D (outer reality) is the effect

b) The 3D = neutral, it will only reflect whatever assumptions, desires, etc that you persist in.

How to fix it?: Become present in your 4D/imagination, thats only what matters. Affirm you only seek validation in your 4D, visualise, etc because at the end of the day, it will always be 4D ➨ 3D, not the other way round!

2 . You easily waver

Wavering = switching between states, Do you find yourself persist in one assumption (one thats the new story) but as soon as you see the opposite in the 3D, you find yourself re-affirming the old story again? Then you're wavering!

How to fix it?: Have some self discipline! Whenever you find yourself affirming the old story, clock it then affirm/visualise, etc whatever correlates to the new story. Remember, the more you repeat the new story, the more the old story becomes dead to you because you will be so used to being fulfilled in the new story, you wont even bat an eye at the old one.

3. You assume you can't manifest 'large' manifestations but others can

C'mon now, nobody is born with ultra special manifestation abilities that make them manifest better than other people, everyone has the same limitless abilities when it comes to the law of assumption, if one person can manifest a mansion, why can't you? You are as capable as manifesting anything as anyone else!

How to fix it?: Honestly just acknowledge that you are among everyone who is a master manifestor, its litch in your DNA to be a master manifestor! I suggest affirming master manifestor-related affirmations to help you be fulfilled in the state of being a master manifestor.

TIPS & ADVICE

You may feel like consuming LOA content is good for helping you and stuff and its honestly fine to read LOA content when you are feeling unsure but it gets overwhelming when you overconsume content since alot of LOA content may contradict each other, as people write their advice based on their on beliefs. This is why i recommend just consuming "back-to-the-basics" typa posts and when you feel content, apply it! (instead of constantly looking from post to post on "how to manifest" when you already know.

2. Affirmation tapes are a GAMEEE CHANGERRRRR! I really recommend Indigo Detry's ones and listen to them when you are doing activities that dont really require concentration (e.g art, reading, etc).

3. If you're looking for good loa youtubers i really recommend Indigio Detry and Manifest it, Finesse it (GOATS FRRR😩😩)

OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed this post and it helped you in any way; please let me know if you have any questions as i would be happy to answer them <3

#desired reality #law of assumption #manifestation #shifting #dollfaceirene #neville goddard #loa tumblr #loa blog #loa #loassumption #master manifestor #self concept

159 notes · View notes

mxqdii · 1 year ago

Text

you taught me - r.b

pairings: regulus black x reader

summary: her last relationship was so toxic that it effects her relationship with regulus. he teaches her what it's like to actually loved and cared for.

warning(s): mentions of abuse, mentions of toxic relationship, sad reader, fluff/comfort from regulus, slight panic attack.

not proofread

it's a typical day, i head to the library to find a good book.

as i walk in, i see regulus and a smile hits my face, we've been dating for a while now. it's still a secret, only evan and barty know, but we’re gonna tell others eventually.

i look around, seeing the empty library and hugging regulus from behind

"hi regs!" i smile and he turns around, eyebrow raised

"regs?" he questions with a teasing smile and my face drops

"sorry! i didn't even know i said that, i can stop if you want it was an accident i swear!" i ramble on and his expression changes again

he looks at me now in confusion

"what..?" i ask quietly

"i was joking love, it's okay." he says and i raise my eyebrows

"oh.. okay.." i noted with a smile

---

later that evening, me and regulus are still in the library, my legs over his as we sit on the couch.

a book in my hand as i flip the pages

my eyes light up as i read about it and regulus notices

"what's got you so happy?" he says and i smile, looking at him

"well, i've actually read this book like 10 times.. i just, i've always really really loved it, like so much. anyways its about thsi girl named lydia and she has like, nobody- anyways she moves to this new town and finds this boy- anyways! sorry i could talk about it for like hours, but i wont" i ramble on

his eyes watch me in astonishment while i talk, listening intently.

and even though he doesn’t know what i'm talking about, he doesn't care. he likes seeing the ways my eyes light up when im talking about something i'm passionate about

he likes seeing my cheeky smile when i'm explaining the characters

"keep talking, i'm listening" he says and i go wide eyed

nobody has ever said that to me before.

i almost feel tears fill my eyes as i look down and let out a smile, this feeling is so unfamiliar.

---

i'm sitting in my room distancing myself from my boyfriend, my friends, everyone.

i miss regulus, which is exactly why im distancing myself

sounds stupid, but i'd feel bad bothering him by asking to hangout, so i'm in here instead.

i could hangout with sirius, remus and james... but i'm just not up to it right now

suddenly theres a knock on the door

i open it seeing regulus, letting out a sigh of relief and gesturing him in.

"hey, where've you been all day, i haven't seen you at all" he says and i feel the guilt wash over me

"i know i'm really sorry i just felt... bad" i say, sitting on my bed

"about what my love?" he asks, sitting next to me.

"no it's nothing it's fine" i say smiling and he shakes his head

"tell me" he speaks softly and i melt at the tone

"i don't know i just missed you but i didn't wanna bother you so i came here instead, i don't know it's stupid i'm sorry" i say, avoiding eye contact the whole time

"what? baby you could've just asked to hangout i was free all day" he says with a sad chuckle

"oh.. sorry" i mumble

he moves closer to me tucking my hair behind my ear

regulus was never usually a soft person, but something about me made him melt, he'd never admit that though.

something about how gentle and fragile i was made him feel the need to be the most loving person i could have

and he knew something had happened, the way i always apologized and second guessed my words, the way i was careful around him, the way i put him before myself

i didn't need to act that way around him though, but he didn't know how to tell me that, so instead he just decided to show me, as much as he could.

without saying anything, he pulled me into a loving hug, a hug i've never gotten before

i let myself melt into his warmth, feeling nothing but comfort in this moment.

---

me regulus were told to meet sirius, remus and james in the gryffindor common room, which isn't unusual considering we all hangout all the time.

we walk in to be met with uncomfortable tension and silence

"jesus who pissed us off" i say sarcastically and they stay quiet

"come on guys, what?" regulus says

"tell me y/n, how long have you been fucking my brother" sirius shouts and my eyes widen

"sirius-" i try to explain but he doesn't let me

"i mean really? my brother? that's low y/n" he says and i feel my chest tighten at the yelling

"and you!- one of my best friends? really??" sirius says, speaking to regulus now.

"sirius it's not like that" i say, still in my normal tone.

"like hell it is!" he argued

"you don''t understand- we're-" before finishing my sentence, sirius interrupts again

"you're what? in love? i don't care what you are, i care about you two not fucking telling me. i had to find out through some random ravenclaw! and to top it off it's my brother and my best friend, yet i wasn't the first to know??? unbelievable." he shouts

i don't even notice the way i'm shaking, the way it's become hard to breathe.

i feel so aware of everything, just not myself.

"sirius-" remus trys to interrupt to stop him

"sirius stop" regulus shouts

they continue yelling at eachother until sirius walks towards me

i tense my body, preparing for something i know all too well.

"i expected more from you y/n, i would've expected you to tell me about this shit" he argues, his voice still raised and his tone still bitter

"sirius- calm down" i say, not knowing what else to do

"calm down!?" he shouts, raising his hands in exasperation

his hands, his voice, his tone.

it was too familiar, so i did what i know

i used my hands to protect myself, covering my face.

i fucking flinched.

the room falls silent, not a single whisper, even from sirius.

still in my hiding position, i realize what i just did, how i just reacted, i know sirius would never hit me.

fuck, i messed up.

my hands lower from my face and i slowly turn my head towards sirius, scared to see his reaction

i look up at him, tears overflowing in my eyes

i see his softened expression, the look in his eyes, the way he immediately stopped

"did- did you think i was gonna.. hit you?" he hesitates, asking gently, softly.

i look around, seeing everyone looking at me

it's the look on regulus's face that makes me crack.

i look back at sirius and just scoff, running out of the common room and to my dorm.

i lock the door and absolutely break down sobbing, finding it hard to breathe.

i'm curled up on the floor, arms wrapped around my knees, hiding my face in them.

suddenly i feel hands on me, gasping at the sudden touch, i look up seeing regulus's soft gaze on me.

"hey, hey, it's me you're okay, i'm here love" he says wrapping me into a hug.

he pulls me on his lap and i wrap my legs around his waist, causing him to stand up and sit us down on my bed

(sorry if that didn't make sense)

i nuzzle my head into his neck as he rubs my back

"let it out love, i'm here." he says and i try to find the words to speak.

i pull away from the hug slightly and he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear

"i- he-" i try to explain but my words are being taken from me, like i'm being forbidded

"i know love, it's okay, i've got you."

my words being taken from me frustrates me even more, causing me to just lean into him and continue sobbing

he embraces me again, stroking my hair and whispering reassuring sweet nothings into my ear.

because of him, my sobs slowly turn into cries, and my cries slowly turn into sniffing and tears running down my face.

it was a start.

i pull away from our embrace again, scared to speak

i can't look at him, i know if i do i might break, so i keep my gaze shifted on my fingers, picking the skin off of them, a nervous habit.

he grabs my hands to stop me from picking them

"you don't have to say anything or just in general talk about it, not if you don't want to" he says and i sigh

"you have a right to know" i say shakily.

"can you look at me, please?" he asks and i hesitate

"i- i'm a mess" i sniffle, embarrassed.

his finger trails up to my chin, using it to tilt my head up.

the sight of my tear stained cheeks and red puffy nose breaks his heart

his eye contact, the look on his face, made me break, as i suspected

i tilt my head back down, letting out silent cries

"tu es en sécurité avec moi, je ne laisserai rien t'arriver" he says

even though i can't understand it, just the sound of his voice makes me feel better.

he uses his hands to cup my cheeks, making me look up again

he uses his thumb to wipe my tears

something that makes my heart swell, something i'm not used to

i watch him, no sign of disgust or shame on his face, just love, pure love.

"why?" i ask, him shifting his gaze back to my eyes.

"why what?" he replies

"why do you do this for me? why are you so nice to me?"

his heart shatters into a million pieces, expression softening even more

if that's even possible

"because i love you, and you deserve to be loved. i wish you could see that" he says

"i didn't and still don't wanna push you, but i notice things, i'm an observer. i notice your apologies and how you always seem scared around me, not scared of me, scared of yourself and what you might say, what i might do to you if you say the wrong thing" he starts to speak

i look down again as he continues to talk

"i just want you to know that i'd never do anything to hurt you, ever. you'll always be safe with me, no matter what you've heard before. i'd die before hurting you, and it breaks me to see you like this love" he says and another tear falls down my cheek

"i said it before, you have a right to know." i say with a shaky breath

"my last relationship.. it- it changed me. the guy i dated, he would use me and manipulate me and treated me more as his bitch then his girlfriend. he would- get really mad if i said or did something wrong, something he didn't like or something that embarrassed him. and sometimes when things got heated... he'd.. hit me and stuff.. and i knew it was wrong but it's what he made me think i deserved. so ever since then i've always felt like that's what i deserve, which is why i don't really know why you treat me the way you do, it's just very unfamiliar." i explain

he watches me, listening intently the whole time.

"i don't think i know what love is.." i mumble, ashamed.

"i didn't, for a long time. but eventually.. someone taught me."

he says and i look up at him confused

he smiles, rolling his eyes when i don't get the hint

"you, y/n, you taught me love." he says and my eyes widen

"me? i- i don't even know how to love someone i-" i start speaking but he stops me

"it's what you're doing, what you've been doing, you just never realized it. this whole time you've shown me love, it was unfamiliar because it was new. that unfamiliar feeling you've felt around me, it's love" he says

i take a second to think about his words.

thinking back to the feeling in my stomach when he'd talk to me, the way my heart fluttered when we'd hold hands, the way i longed for him when he wasn't around.

holy shit, i love regulus black.

"you- you're right" i say, realization clear in my tone

"i- i think i love you" i say, looking up at him

he smiles "i love you too darling, always have"

in that moment i knew i'd be alright, i knew i could give regulus my heart and trust him not to break it.

in that moment i knew, he taught me how to love.

TAGLIST:

@stargirlv0id @strniolo @annaisabookworm

280 notes · View notes

joviepog · 1 year ago

Note

EEE HI JOVIE again i love love your writing and im so glad youve been enjoying my stuff!! anyway, sweet and simple request-- wilbur and reader having an at home dinner night :)) (if u wanna make it silly tommy could be their "waiter" LMAO)

much love !!

EEK I LOVEE THIS IDEA! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT SO GOOD AHHHHHH

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡—♡-♡-♡-♡-

Lovely night

Who: Wilbur x f!reader

Warnings: i dont think there is anything but if there is just let me know!

Pronouns: She / they

Word count: I have no clue

Requests: @poraphia

Anything’s else: I actually liked how this turned out! thanks for the idea lovely requester!

This story is NOT proofread

Listen to this while you read! <3

Both you and Wilbur aren’t the richest people around. For you, this was absolutely fine. But for Wilbur?

Well, Wilbur is just a bit disappointed about not being able to spoil you as much as he wants. Since you both have met, he’s been obsessed with getting you little gifts and taking you to cute dates. But what he really wants to do is to be able to take you to the fancy restaurant down the street from your guy’s apartment.

He’s told you about this little problem of his and you cant help but giggle every time he mentions it. The conversation always ends with a kiss on the cheek and the same six words. “Wil, i dont need all that!” But lately he wont stop talking about it. He’s been daydreaming about you in a fancy dress and him in a fancy tux. Not the old cheep one he has for all those dumb occasions. No, he wants to be able to give you a bouquet of roses and a ring that means forever. But most of all, he wants to make you happy.

You’ve noticed that this was starting to get to him. Every time you got home he would give you a kiss and a hug -per usual- then he would start talking about this dress he saw on twitter and how beautiful it would look on you. “And that dress would be perfect for that restaurant!” And every time you say that you dont need all that, he looks like a kid being rejected of a puppy.

And so, you set up a plan. While he was gone on tour, you saved up, took cooking classes, and learned how to do your best makeup possible. You called him up one night, “Hi Wil! Are you busy?” There was a slight pause and he spoke quietly, “No, i just have to be quiet.” You gave a soft laugh and spoke quietly. “I just wanted to make sure i have the right day for when your coming back.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Why?” You pouted, “Why? What, I can’t miss my boyfriend?”

He apologized at least 100 times before he woke Joe up. You said hi to Joe and hung up. “I love you Wil. See you soon?” You asked with a smile. “See you soon.” You hung up and silence fell on the room. You had 1 more week. You bought the dress he had mentioned 1,000 times, you made sure Tommy was free, and you made sure the house was clean. You were ready.

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

“I’m two hours away.” he spoke and you could hear the boys in the back teasing him.

you fake sighed, “I guess i’ll just wait here. all alone, and sad, and-“

he stopped you, “Yeah i’ll try to hurry up.”

“No take your time, darling.”

he sighed, “All i want to do is get home and hug you.”

“Aweeee.” you put another fake eyelash on, “I miss you too baby.”

“Wilbur! The taxy is here!”

you laughed and he scoffed, “I’ll see you soon darling.”

“See you soon.” you hung up and looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked amazing. you hair was fixed, and the dress fit nicely just like wilbur said it would. everything was perfect.

2 hours: Tommy got there with a suit and a tie that was ties badly

1 hour 30 minutes: You and tommy set the table and clean the house. you fail to figure out how to tie tommy’s tie

1 hour: you start dinner and Tommy calls phil to help him tie his tie.

30 mins: you finish up dinner and you get out wilbur’s favorite wine

20 mins: you double check everything for 10 minutes

10 mins: you wake up Tommy from his nap and cehck to make sure you look good.

5 mins: you triple check that you look okay and you serve the food.

1 minute: You light the candles

0 mins: You hear a knock.

“Is that him?!?” you say with a cheerful smile. Tommy smiles, “No it’s the mailman.” he jokes. you roll your eyes and open the door. Wilbur has the biggest smile on his face and he’s holding flowers. You close the door behind you, not wanting to ruin the surprise, and jump into his arms. he gives you small kisses all around your face and neck; your giggling at his touch. he finally lets you go and you were so excited to see his reaction.

His eyes widen at the sight of you in the dress and he begins to ask questions. “YN? Where did you-“ you stopped him and grabbed his arm, interlocking your arm in his. you yelled out to tommy, “Ready!” tommy opens the door and the smell of delicious food swept through the door.

The sight of warm lighting and wine glasses were shows on the small table. Warm jazz music was playing and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of Wilbur. His mouth was agape and his eyes completely widened. He turned to look at Tommy, who had his hair slicked back and a napkin on his arm (still holding the door open he cleared his throat.) “Welcome Mr. Gold and Ms. LN. I have your table ready right over there. He nudged his head towards the table and you and Wilbur walked in. Tommy quickly close the door and pulled out the chairs for both you and Wilbur.

Wilbur sat down, still in shock, and looked at his plate. Tommy spoke up, “You see, we already served you food because your girlfriend here, preordered. Wilbur laughed and Tommy grabbed the wine glass. “Tell me when to stop.” He started to pour the wine and Wilbur told him to stop about halfway, you did the same.

“Anything else?” Tommy asked.

“That’ll be all. Thank you.” Tommy winked at you and nodded his head. As he walked away you turned back to Wilbur. “So?” His mouth is still slightly open but soon enough, his cheeky smile appeared back on his face.

“Well, i feel like I’m a bit underdressed.” You both laughed and spent the rest of the night talking while Tommy took photos of both of you.

What a lovely night.

189 notes · View notes

candy8448 · 11 months ago

Text

Nothing like opening my eyes to a new linked universe update

Dawn pt8

My occasional source of dopamine XD

Its very satisfying seeing how all the traveling layers are put on. You can really imagine this scene animated

So a lot of important things were discussed, stuff the fandom have noticed before but its good that jojo finally mentioned them herself:

Shadow is the only this associated with the portals (pg1)

I LOVE how so many traits and experiences of the characters are shown here!!

Wild taking the blame first, he's got one heck a guilt complex (pg2)

We are just hit with everyone's emotions right off the bat and i love that!

I kinda like how blunt Time is

Wars talking about how "helping the wound isn't an option," things they must consider during war (pg3)

Legend trying to lighten the mood again like he always does (pg4)

I like to see how what they think of wolfie has changed now that they know it was twilight. Wars thinking its fine if the animal goes off alone cuz it doesnt understand but now making it clear that he doesn't like it

Secrets are getting in the way (such as wolfie) and hindering their process. Maybe it wouldn't have been so clunky if tgey knew exactly who wolfie is

WARS' SCARF IS BACK BABY! I got so excited when i saw it that page, dont worry guys, he has it back now!

Legend with his puzzle mind :))) my legend-centric brain is happy (pg5)

But his teasing almost boastfullness ("it just got lucky") but then turning in to actual contemplation, i love that he is also taking things seriously

Its actively seeking them out, Hyrule is wary that it will find them, like in his adventure (pg6)

They need to get better at teamwork

Four bringing in the joke about friendly fire. He definetly knows a lot about that (im reading the four swords manga for the first time and am near the begining sooo)

They need to use their arsenal

I just gotta say that i love this shot, very pleasing to my eye for some reason. But im so excited to see how everything goes with this! Im guessing in the near future, they will be taking these but to the extreme that it hinders them so they need to practice or something

Oof poor hyrule so tired of strong monsters, his games were HARD (pg7)

The power up on the sword! Ive seen a post about it before so its cool that they are noticing it, very important too!

I like the firmness with sky and time's ideas of the sword. Even though time says nothing about her we can see it, and the fact that she still sees him as her master (obviously!) It seems like they both need to sort out this dissagreement in order to not impact them even more (Pg8)

I love this especially because i just made a fic about exploring sky's and others' relationship with the master sword

I can't help but think that sky is thinking about more than just this quest in this update and back to his own adventure and maybe ghirahim. More bits in this update also make me think that ("he wants to fight" "yeah, 'cause he wont")

Wind being the one most eagre to fight! And Hyrule being the one most ready to go! I love that!

I was just thinking a few bays ago about what happened to those letters, i guess we get to see now! It seems like it might be one more update before we set off properly again (pg9)

Sky looking so happy about the mail at the end :)))

We really do get a piece of everyone and their personalities in this one

Im so excited for them to be on the road again!

#i do a little ramble #linked universe #lu #lu sky #lu four #lu time #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu twilight #lu wind #lu warriors #lu wild #lu fic #i do a little react

68 notes · View notes

mikalame · 1 year ago

Note

hiya!!! could you write a really sweet fic (story) about y/n and Bill getting a huge matching tattoo together and Bill being asked about this tattoo on an interview and he just gets really shy etc (could you make the reader female and a singer) please ?

bye :D

"Are you sure you want to do this meine leibe, this is gonna take a couple hours, and will hurt a bit being where it is" Bill asks, eyes searching your face for any sign you may not feel 100% about this, exspechily because its a tattoo that will be on you forever.

"Yes im sure Bill, I've researched and all plus ill ask for some numbing cream, are you okay bill" You ask thinking that the reason he keeps asking you if your okay is becasue he isn't.

"Of course, i cant wait" he says kissing your cheek giving you tight hug and pushing open the tattoo shop's door.

Time skip

"how are you feeling hun, you in any serious pain" Bill asks eyes scanning over you again looking down at you, eyebrows pinched.

"Im fine Billl" you whine playfulling pushing him away giggling.

You two smile at eachother and walk to your car you look at your forearm and the tattoo placed on it, the phantom pain of it comeig back to you but the pride and meaning of it over powers it.

Time skip again

"SO WELCOME..... TOKIO HOTEL!" the interveiwer yells at the camera, the crowd behind it full on fangirls and boys yell in exsitement waving their banners and posters around hoping to catch one of the band members attention.

As the band walks on the stage single file line they wave at the fans, the majority of them smiling wider and yelling louder, while the crazy super fans faint or start yelling not so innocent things (i dont blame them ahaha)

"Hello we are so happy to be on the show with you today" Bill says taking the mircophone from the interviewer so the audiance could hear them clearly.

"Well im glad, so today we have a couple questions to ask you, if thats all right with you all" She says looking over the band and seeing their nodding heads.

"Okay, great sooo the first question is from.... Marie asking if any of you have any big regrets in you career". She cocks an eyebrow then looks at the band, a smile on her face.

"Oh well uhm probably styling my hair with CANS of hairspray, kinda wish i just wore a wig but oh well" Bill says shrugging passing the mircophone along.

"Oh hahaha, Okay next question" She says smile dropping as she reads the next couple of questions out.

"Oooo okay this one is for Bill , aparently you were seen with ___ going into a tattoo parlor, do you care to show us what you got" she asks smirk stretching on her face.

"Oh, uhm no sorry" Bill says shaking his head in disagreement, but the interviwer just keeps on begging.

After a while it really started to get on him nerves, more so when she brought the audiance in on it as well, but bill just kept on saying no, blushing hinding if face.

The tattoo was very important to bill and he didnt feel like it should be made public like this, exspeachily when it had such a deep meaning for bill and ___.

"Oh, well sorry ladys and gentlemen thats all the time we have today, sorry i coldn't make bill show the new tattoo but mabey next time" she say fake smile still prominent on her face.

As the band walks of the stage fareing their good byes bill mutters under his voice.

"There wont be a 'next time'".

They all groan as they sit down in the tour bus, tom cracking his back as well as gustav. "She was real adamant on getting the tattoo shown" Georg laughs opening a bag of chips sitting down across from the boy.

"Yeah she need to learn to take no for an answer, she must be a real treat in bed" tom laughs sarcastically behind the two.

"mmh" bill agrees putting his headphones in listening to a song ___ and him made when he was staying at her house one of the first times they met thinking about calling her when they head off to check up on her.

SORRY GUYS I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT 😭.

taglist @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam @adissonsss

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz x reader #gustav schäfer #georg listing #tom kaulitz

164 notes · View notes

unlikelyempathpruneauthor · 10 months ago

Text

Arvin x Reader One shot

A/n: back again and most likely disappear had this in one of my drafts hehe hope you enjoy!! before you read there are mentions of a person unaliving themselves so slight trigger warning ‼️

You met Lenora at school sitting in the lunchroom all lonesome,you walked over to her and had stares like daggers when you made your way to her. She looked up and all she could do was stare at you and your bows in your hair with your nice smile as you placed your things on the table and sat across from her, “hi, im y/n, what's your name?” she asked as Lenora was in awe of your kindness, “im Lenora…you sure you wanna sit here?” she asked as you nodded, “yeah, is it okay if i sit here?” you asked as she smiled, “yes, it's very nice to have someone here,” she said as you two talked about anything. Lenora loved how she would spend time with you and she had even explained as to why she was all alone.Her family was such a talk around here, they had gone through so much. The time you had with her was nice. In the beginning you only saw her in the lunchroom, after school you never got sight of her. As time went on you found out why she sped on home, there was this group of boys who would tease her about herself and how her brother arvin had a special relationship according to them and no evidence at all of what was going on.

“They just got nothin better to do,” she explained and you fully believed in her word, “i believe you, those dumbasses probably have it worse that's why they say words that aren't true,” you said as she nodded as you and her walked out of school, “the good thing is they stopped, but it really scares me sometime,”

Out of nowhere this boy walked up to you two, “lenora i thought i told you to book it once the bell rings,” he spoke looking at you then her, “i know, but- oh god where are my manners, y/n this is arvin my brother and arvin this is probably my only friend in this whole school,” she said as you nodded, “hi, sorry for taking her away for a little, just wanted to make sure she was getting home fine,” you explained to arvin as he just couldn't keep his eye off you, “i-its okay sorry, its just i get real worried, it's nice to meet you y/n,” he said still stern as he was he walked back to his car as he looked over at you two talked, “well i'll see you later yeah?” lenora said, “yeah don't worry i'll probably see you at church at latest,” you suggested as she nodded having a better idea, “you know what, what if you come for dinner saturday, that way you can sleep over and we can go to church on sunday,” as you nodded, “Really? You sure?” you asked knowing her momma was strict about it. She was more sure than anything, her momma knew that she had no friends, but after hearing so much about you she was more than happy to have you over and spend time with them.

The time you had with the Russell family was like having another family. You only had your aunt who took you after your daddy died in the war. You didn't have a mother, she left you with your daddy after having you, so you had more in common with Lenora and her folks than people thought. This also gave you time with arvin on a personal level, he liked you since the minute he saw you, he felt what his daddy felt when he saw his momma.

“Now come on, lenora wont mind, if anything she will be happy we got together,” arvin said as you walked along the sidewalk reading your book, “oh arvin you are such a tease, you do realize when she sees us together she seeing those damn bells ringing,” you smirked as he smiled, “oh honey you ain't seen nothin yet, you will hear those bells ringing i will be marrying you,” which made you look up, “you are one crazy boy,” he said placing a kiss on your cheek, “only for you sweetheart,”

When Lenora killed herself, you found her in the closet looking for her, she wasn't feeling too good for church so you brought her medicine to feel all better, “now where could she be? Lenora! Girl, where are you-” you opened the door and saw her hanging by the rope, your heart was clenching and it only took you a moment to react, “Oh my…Arvin! Help! Please!” you repeated over and over, arvin ran as quick as he could and saw you screaming for his sister, took him a moment to react too and help you get her off the rope. All you remember was there was so much screaming. Lenora was the last person you would think to do this.

Which leads you to where you are now, you and arvin got married even after everything that happened to arvin you stuck with him. You two both had terrible lives, but now you were given the chance to live the way you deserved after everything. In a new town where no one knew yall. You bought a house together and worked jobs for the time being and just saw how life would treat you.

You weren't feeling too good lately so you called out of work for a couple days, “you sure you're feeling good? Why don't I take you to the doctor, even better call him here hon,” you nodded, “im okay it's probably the flu arv, just go to work, i'll call you if anything happens, yeah?” you assured him as he nodded, he kissed you goodbye and headed to work hoping you were okay. He hated when you got sick he worried so much it had reminded him of his momma and especially Lenora. He knew you were not capable of doing such, but being sick just reminded him of awful memories.

He hurried on home with some medicine and some soup hoping it made you feel better, he walked in and started calling your name, “y/n honey i got some soup and some stuff that will-” he was cut off seeing you laid out on the floor, he was quickly to panic trying to wake you up as you got out of the state you were in, “arvin, what happened,” you said looking around your surrounding seeing you had been on the ground, “you were just on the ground like you was dead, what- did someone do something? What happend?” he said, still quite panicked, " I was just getting water, that's it,” you said as he picked you up and he called the doctor.

The doctor ran all the tests insisted by arvin wanting to make sure everything was okay, once the doctor walked toward arvin he was quick to stand, the news he had just heard was far from his mind than anything he expected.

He walked back to your room as you sat in bed reading your book, once you saw Arvin you were quick to put it down, “so? What is it arvin? Do we have to start praying,” you stood up as he was quick to hold you sitting you down, “no honey, well maybe, it's all good were havin a baby,” he spat very happy, “you serious, oh my arvin, were havin a baby, oh arv,” you said tearing up, “hey hey, it's all good news, i married you for a reason, i ain't going nowhere, we are havin this baby,” he said as you looked over at him as you shook your head, “oh arv it's nothing like that, it's just…lenora, she would be here,” you said as he hugged you, “i know honey, but hey, if we have a girl we can name her lenora,” you nodded very happy, “we can oh god we can,” you both were over the moon and emotional all in the same boat not wanting this moment to be over. You worked so hard to be where you are, you were both thanking god, even arvin.

#arvin russel x reader #arvin russel x y/n #arvin russel imagine #arvin russell

56 notes · View notes