#for research purposes i will read what i need to and no more bc i know he is a grade a ASS

[univemma]

X-Men movies hyperfixation is doing the rounds in my brain again, as it does every few years and im having a great time. In particular, I'm focused on First Class, more SPECIFICALLY,

I have so many thoughts,,,about movie Alex Summers. Like holy shit, as per every hyperfixation i went digging through any kind of character video, interview, and deleted scene i could find and oh my god there was so much more to him than what made the final cut. And of course that goes for pretty much any movie character, especially adaptations, but oh my god i cannot stop thinking about it and I haven't found ANYONE talking abt ANY OF IT it in my past week scouring the internet of any and ALL Movie!Alex fan content, so I'm losing my mind.

Planning a post about it as we speak because i need to share it with the world. The world does not care about a character from a 2011 xmen movie but I DONT CARE HE MEANS MUCH TO ME.

[loregoddess]

sometimes I see genuinely earnest writing advice about writing fiction, but the advice is written as a blanket statement for a narrative device that honestly? only works for certain types of fiction, not all types of fiction, and therefore the advice ends up missing out on the fine nuance between "fiction that is written literally" and "fiction that is written figuratively" and also how literal vs. figurative narrative devices function differently in different types of genre--but like, I don't want to come off as a pretentious brat, so I just skip the post w/out saying anything

[themyscirah]

Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this

[axolotlclown]

Would you happen to have some studies to back up the "more than one coffee means you're addicted" thing, please? Pretty sure I've seen that disproven as a lens to understand addiction through at all

~ 🪴

Hey! So sorry I never saw this anon. It never appeared in my notifs and I'm really bad about checking my askbox.

You have asked a question that falls in line with a field I am very passionate about! I found some interesting articles in my school library. I'm going to go ahead and write this response, but I'm still waiting on access to a few journals. I'll have to convert those ones to PDFs as they are likely behind paywalls.

Anyway, here's my long post where I intend to rant about a lot of different barely related topics. Caffeine addiction is one of those really controversial but historically significant subjects in psychology!

So let me start off with how to read and break down a journal. It's one of those things where if you don't go to college and specifically major in a research related field, no one ever teaches you how to do it. That sucks.

So when you're looking at a journal, the first thing you want to do is background check the author. What school did they go to? What degrees do they have? (For research, they should have a Ph.D. no matter what.) What is their current place of employment?

Often companies, or other private businesses, will commission someone to do some research and fudge the results to make that company look better. We saw this recently in regards to gender affirming care. The United States House of Representatives had proposed legislation to restrict gender affirming care for transgender youth. The Republican sponsor of the bill had presented a single piece of research that he claimed was significant. The research found that transition regret rates were somewhere in the 30% range. (I don't remember exactly and I know that I could quickly look it up, but I just spent the past two hours reading addiction research. I'll find it tomorrow.) Upon looking into the author and the sponsors of this research, psychologists found that the journal the congressman presented was commissioned by a conversation therapy center in Florida. The research held obvious bias, poor peer review, and inconclusive results. The bill didn't pass. I'm not sure they even voted on it, actually.

Anyway, this is why we need to be critical of the research we read. Chocolate, wine, caffeine, gender dysphoria, and autism are notorious subjects that require more scrutiny before reading.

So, caffeine addiction. This is a subject that more than one field is interested in. Before you read an article, you need to be sure what question you are asking. Psychologists are concerned with a more scientific or factual approach. In this context, a psychologist would be researching the concrete effects of caffeine on mood, sleep, and other psychological disorders. Sociologists are more concerned with the overall social consequences of caffeine addiction. They would be asking how mood and sleep affected family, work, and personal welfare. For your question, we're going to look into the psychological aspect. Also, I'm studying psychology, not sociology, so I would feel like an idiot answering those types of questions.

This distinction matters. When I opened my school's EBSCOHost database, I simply typed in "caffeine addiction" to start. I was bombarded with sociological articles and journals about the affects of caffeine addiction on productivity at work and on mood. Strange overlap with psychology. Two problems: some of the top articles had researchers with ties to coffee companies, and all "caffeine addicts" were self-reported. For the latter, this meant that there was no standard for how much caffeine was consumed. Rather than being a concrete article about caffeine consumption, it was more of a survey of public opinion. You want to avoid those unless you specifically want to know about the public opinion. Even psychologists run surveys all the time (they're cheap and easy), but people often lie on surveys, even if they're anonymous.

So I typed in more specific key words and came up with these articles. I'll talk about some without leaving a link, but that's because I had to request the PDFs for sharing. I'll come back to this post and link them. (Let me know if the ones I do link are broken.)

Okay, so I'm going to start off with a journal that interested me, personally. This study actually observed the effects of caffeine on psychiatric patients. This is an important reminder that different drugs influence different brains. Someone with ADHD experiences caffeine differently for a neurotypical person. Caffeine is a stimulant, and ADHD medications are stimulants. Cool. What about other disorders?

Here's the Sparknotes of the study, "Caffeine intoxication was more prevalent in psychiatric patients than in healthy subjects. The amount of caffeine intake was shown to be associated positively with the severity of pathology and inversely with sleep quality."

The study goes more into depth about the different psychological disorders that different patients had. There were 401 patients participating in this study (150 healthy individuals). Overall, continuous caffeine intake showed a decline in sleep quality and a general increase in severity of other mental illnesses.

So what causes that? What is caffeine? Here's an article that looks into studies about caffeine consumption and performance, as well as what the causes of an addiction could be and what constitutes an addiction. This is one I recommend giving a read, as it helps to illuminate a common problem with researching intoxicants.

Here's the big take away: "Although caffeine is widely perceived to have beneficial psychostimulant effects, appropriately controlled studies show that its apparent beneficial effects on performance and mood are almost wholly attributed to reversal of the withdrawal effects that occur after fairly short periods of abstinence (e.g. overnight)."

In habitual coffee users, the increase of mood and performance after consumption of caffeine is caused by the removal of withdrawal symptoms. Grouchy mood and lack of coordination are symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. Where one may perceive positive reinforcement for initial consumption, for habitual consumers, withdrawal symptoms become a negative reinforcement.

So, for people that drink coffee everyday, it's less about getting the positive effects of caffeine, but rather avoiding the negative effects of withdrawal. This can be classified as an addiction. There is now a reliance on this substance.

Something this article also points out is that caffeine is not just found in coffee. It's found in chocolate and most medications these days as well. Therefore, complete stone cold abstinence from caffeine can be next to impossible, making control groups difficult to find. This leads to the varying research and controversy between psychologists.

Okay, but coffee can't be as bad as alcohol or anything right? Caffeine is practically harmless! Let's take a look into an article discussing the health impacts of caffeine. (I'll provide the full text to this one tomorrow.)

In Dr. Saimaiti's article titled, "Dietary Sources, Health Benefits, and Risks of Caffeine," she explores the benefits of occasional consumption of caffeine and weighs them against habitual overconsumption of caffeine.

While occasional consumption can actually improve mood and cognitive ability, these benefits are lost with daily consumption.

Few people drink their coffee black. For those that put creamer, milk (especially oat), or straight sugar or syrups in their coffees daily, they may be overconsuming sugar. This is especially hard on an empty stomach. This is part of the reason you "crash" later in the day. The sugar raises your blood sugar. For most healthy people, this may not be the biggest deal in the world. For others, it could be a key factor in developing diabetes later in life. In general, don't drink coffee on an empty stomach. Have it with a meal. It's also easier on your liver.

Speaking of liver, what does your body do with the caffeine after you drink it? Caffeine follows the same principle as alcohol. Occasional consumption of red wine can help thin your blood and lower your hemoglobin (something that women may be more concerned about as they get older). However, daily consumption of wine can cause stress on the liver and potentially lead to dementia later in life (I say potentially because there has been a correlation, but no solid research as to why. While correlation does not always mean causation, it's important to acknowledge them in the meantime.)

Caffeine behaves in the same way. Continuous consumption of caffeine can put some real stress on your liver over time.

Caffeine is dangerous for those with cardiovascular problems. While this seems like a "duh!" point, many people don't know that they may be prone to cardiovascular issues until an event happens. This sounds like fear mongering, but it's something to take into account.

The article discusses pregnant women as well, but I would hope that's intuitive? Maybe not? If you're pregnant you should avoid intoxication in all forms.

I'll drop this quote from the conclusion of the article for now (I felt weird quoting text that you can't access yet, so I'll come back with more quotes when I can give you the PDF): "the long-term or over-consumption of caffeine can lead to addiction, insomnia, migraine, and other side effects."

The point is, caffeine consumption can be more dangerous to some than others in general, but excessive consumption with lack of knowledge can lead to long-term damage to one's health.

Okay, that study talks about a relatively small niche. Let's get broad. Let's talk about sleep and cognitive performance. (Another study I'll have the PDF for tomorrow.)

In Dr. Gottselig's article titled, "Random Number Generation During Sleep Deprivation: Effects of Caffeine on Response Maintenance and Stereotypy," she looks at the effects caffeine has on cognitive performance during sleep deprivation.

The conclusions of this research makes a very important point: "caffeine preserves simple aspects of cognitive performance during sleep deprivation, whereas caffeine may not prevent detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on some complex cognitive functions."

This article particularly found that while small cognitive functions such as motor ability improved with caffeine, complex cognitive functions such as problem solving and memory declined.

While a college student could read this and understand that pulling an all nighter and drinking 10 Red Bulls probably won't help them pass their test, there's something much more to be said about these findings.

One sleep deprived night won't kill you, and certainly drinking a cup of coffee to get you through the day won't either. But caffeine cannot prevent the damage that regular sleep deprivation does. Sleep deprivation leads to memory loss, worsening symptoms of depression/anxiety/ADHD, increased chances of developing dementia early (this one is real), and a decline in overall cognitive ability.

Rough. But it is a trap. If you have insomnia, caffeine may feel like your only choice to be somewhat functioning throughout the day. Caffeine promotes symptoms of insomnia. It's a vicious cycle if you can't afford proper treatment, and one, that I hope, that will be addressed with time.

So if you have the ability, it's better to prioritize a good night's sleep. I'll come back to this.

For now, why is caffeine addiction so controversial then? Well, it may not be for long. While there was a push to add "caffeine" to the list of diagnosable addiction in the DSM since the 1980's, the inconsistent and inconclusive research has led to a standstill. As we say with Dr. Jame's article, it is difficult to get a control group for caffeine. However, as research for alcohol and marijuana progresses, our knowledge of how to properly study intoxicants does as well.

The long-term health side effects of caffeine are still being studied as well. While this aspect isn't unique to caffeine at all (marijuana, for example, is just now getting approved for research, where before it was illegal), it's still worth acknowledging what we do know, for now at least.

So, coming back to the DSM. There's a new one coming out pretty soon. It's the talk of the town among psychologists right now. Everyone is arguing about what should be in the DSM-6. It'll be crazy when it does come out. Autism, OCD, Gender Dysphoria, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Facial Dysmorphia are just a few examples of disorders that will likely be completely recategorized.

(Unrelated, but Autism Spectrum Disorder is a big one because a lot of psychologists are arguing that it shouldn't be classified as a disorder at all. The reason being is that Autism is so common, that psychologists are theorizing that the majority of the population falls on the spectrum somewhere. Either way, the diagnosis is about to completely change because of this fact.) (Well, all of them are big ones. I could make a whole separate post about it.)

Anyway, the push to make caffeine diagnosable is becoming a promising endeavor as research continues to come out.

One psychiatrist pushing for this is Ronald Griffiths. In his opinion piece, Griffiths recalls his patients experiencing caffeine withdrawal symptoms that led to a decline in the quality of life. One of his patients was diagnosed with breast cancer and needed to stop drinking coffee immediately. This patient struggled with severe withdrawal symptoms that were difficult to manage while on cancer treatment.

Griffiths explains how difficult it was to treat this patient because it wasn't something he could easily diagnose with the DSM-5, something insurance companies use to decide whether they're going to pay for care or not. Add on the bills for cancer treatment, and you rapidly have a distressing situation on your hands.

Joseph DeRupo, spokesman for the National Coffee Association in the U.S. as quoted in this article states, "What we have here is really the opinion of one scientist who is a lone voice against the accepted view of the scientific community."

Lone voice? In barely an hour I was able to find 5 credible articles, all backed by credible researchers, supporting the understanding that American society consumes too much caffeine. You can take a General Psych class in college and the textbook would spend half a chapter going over caffeine addiction and the controversial research around it. Coffee companies piss me off. And most companies use slave labor to harvest their beans and lobby to prevent legislation to prevent it. Guillotine.

Griffiths also claims that "[e]ven people who consume as little as 100 milligrams of caffeine a day—the equivalent of one small cup of coffee—can become physically dependent."

So this ask is pretty old, but I'm guessing it was in response to me saying that you should only drink one cup of a random beverage a day and the rest be water. This keeps you hydrated and helps cut out where the majority of your sugar intake is. I called it the "desert beverage" and that "coffee counts."

It really does. In the morning, one feels tired, foggy, and grouchy. "Don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee." They would make their coffee out of habit, barely minding the taste of it—drinking to medicate the headache they've already caused.

Life is worth celebrating, and if we can find little things in our day to celebrate, we should! When coffee becomes a habit, it's just a habit. That's sad.

I worked as a barista for a while at a coffee shop that hired people with intellectual disabilities. That experience is what made me switch my major to psychology in the first place. But I saw the joys coffee could bring, and the damage it can do, too. I had a coworker who would come in and throw a tantrum if we didn't immediately stop what we were doing and make him a coffee—and again in two hours before the end of his shift. It's upsetting.

I do remember the joys, too. Our manager would show us a new niche coffee drink from a random country. We would make cubanos like they would in Haiti and talk about the different names they had in different countries around the world. It ruled.

I don't drink coffee every day anymore. But it's always a wonderful thing when I do. You don't need to have an "excuse" to drink a cup of coffee—you don't need to celebrate anything at all. Coffee, tea, wine, soda, and juice should be celebrated as they are. Drinking them out of habit destroys joy. Intentional habits create stable foundations in life. Unintentional habits create monotony and boredom.

Anyway, the sleep thing I said I'd come back to. So if you're having trouble sleeping, here's the hot tip: avoid screens 30 minutes before going to bed. That sounds easy, but how many of us scroll our phones, watch TV, or play a video game right before bed? It's not worth it.

Instead, do something away from your phone that you enjoy. I like to read, but you can draw, journal, listen to some music, practice an instrument, or write something. Doesn't matter, just don't use your phone or laptop. Set a 30 minute timer for time.

If you're still struggling to sleep, you may find meditation useful. Meditation uses techniques that make your brain send beta waves which relaxes you and is the first step to falling asleep. But! If you try to learn some meditation, you'll have to commit to practicing it every night for it to be useful. It's a skill that requires practice.

Anyway, I could make a whole separate post about evening/morning/afternoon routines as that is another one of my passions, but yeah.

TLDR; An occasional cup of coffee is actually great and wonderful, but you really shouldn't drink it every day, especially more than once a day.

PS. I love Red Bull cream sodas more than the God that created them, I swear, but I only drink maybe one or two energy drinks a year. Energy drinks will dissolve your liver faster than hydrochloric acid can. An alcoholic drinking 5 packs of beers a day will look at your liver and be impressed. Also the Panera lemonade should be illegal. That shit is CRAZY. That bitch had more caffeine than a Bang energy drink. It literally killed a man. Wild.

[saltcxrcle]

heaven knows ❥ i. lahey

summary: social media/ college au with the pack [can be read as a non supernatural au, but its implied]

pairings: established isaac lahey x reader, isaac lahey x fem! reader

warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, slice of life, some cursing

a/n: made this instead of my homework bc i wanted to make a smau for isaac :) also emmyparker is an oc based on my friend loll

reblog and comment! i love to see your thoughts on my fics (even if this isn’t technically a fic lol)

𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘢𝘤 𝘭𝘢𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

yourusername

liked by mccallmescott, emmyparker, and 2023 others

yourusername a lil photo dump of college so far ;P (not included: mental breakdowns)

tagged: kirakitsune, lyds.martin, silverallison, isaaclahey14 + 3 more

view all 823 comments

lyds.martin you wouldn't have the breakdowns if you didn't procrastinate ↳ yourusername you know what lydia stfu ↳ emmyparker @/yourusername shes not wrong ↳ yourusername WTH IS WITH THIS DOGPILING 😭😭

mccallmescott why do i have the feeling that your study sessions don't end up being study sessions ↳ yourusername what makes you think that scotty? ↳ kirakitsune @/mccallmescott they usually devolve into yap sessions ↳ silverallison SHHH kira!! they aren't supposed to know ↳ 24stiles is that why we aren't invited?? ↳ emmyparker that's a secret we'll never tell 🤫 xoxo gossip girl 😘 ↳ 24stiles 😐😑😐

* * *

lyds.martin

liked by stilesss, kirakitsune, and 1923 others

lyds.martin girls night in! 🥂

tagged: yourusername, emmyparker, silverallison, + 2 more

view all 1002 comments

yourusername wheres my pic creds 🤨 ↳ lyds.martin you're tagged, isn't that enough ↳ yourusername no 🥰 ↳ lyds.martin 🙄

24stiles i see my invite was lost in the mail ↳ emmyparker it can't be lost if it wasn't sent 😊 ↳ lyds.martin you weren't invited bc you aren't a girl, hence why it's called a girls night

silverallison we need to do this more often, it was so fun !! ↳ kirakitsune 100% agree, especially with finals kicking our asses rn 😭 ↳ lyds.martin heard, but @/yourusername has to host next time ↳ yourusername thanks for volunteering me lyds 🙃

* * *

24stiles

liked by yourusername, isaaclahey14, and 1120 others

24stiles boyz night 😤💪💯 (and theo is here too ig)

tagged: mccallmescott, isaaclahey14, liam.dunbar + 2 more

view all 782 comments

lyds.martin wow someone was bitter about us hanging out with out them ↳ 24stiles whatever do you mean? ↳ lyds.martin you're an idiot

yourusername i know damn well you didn't use my apartment as a fire hazard ↳ 24stiles ...its technically not just your apartment, it's isaac's... ↳ isaaclahey14 @/24stiles are you trying to get me killed?! ↳ yourusername @/24stiles @/isaaclahey14 stilinksi you're first on my list, lahey you'll be next ↳ 24stiles what about scott??? ↳ mccallmescott DUDE??

* * *

yourusername

liked by kirakitsune, silverallison, and 2009 others

yourusername love you wolf boy 🥰 🩵

tagged: isaaclahey14

view all 1014 comments

24stiles ew i didn't need to see this first thing in the morning ↳ yourusername you jealous i nabbed him in high school when you had the chance? ↳ 24stiles pffhh absolutely not, besides im in a happy relationship with em ↳ yourusername that's what you think :) ↳ 24stiles EM?? EXPLAIN NOW @/emmyparker

silverallison this is disgustingly cute ughh ↳ yourusername feel free to join us if you want ;) ↳ silverallison don't tempt a girl with a good time 😏

kirakitsune for research purposes, i need to know where isaac's shirt is from ↳ emmyparker same... for research purposes ↳ yourusername i sent you guys the link 🤭

isaaclahey14 love you lots babe ↳ yourusername love you more 🫶

* * *

isaaclahey14

liked by emmyparker, 24stiles, and 1923 others

isaaclahey14 love you sweetheart ❤️

tagged: yourusername

view all 863 comments

emmyparker wait are these candids of her actually good? ↳ issaclahey14 do you doubt my abilities? ↳ emmyparker yes 😁 also @/24stiles take notes ↳ 24stiles how do i keep getting attacked in posts that aren't even mine 😭

silverallison @/isaaclahey14 im gonna steal your girl ↳ isaaclahey i'd like to see you try ↳ yourusername guys noo don't fight over me (please do it does wonders for my ego) ↳ silverallison nevermind you can keep her

yourusername this is actually so cute, love you so much honey <33 ↳ isaaclahey14 i swear you always underestimate me ↳ yourusername aren’t you forgetting something 🤨 ↳ isaaclahey14 i love you too ❤️

[raainberry]

Cross The Line (Prologue)

« Doing something outside the bounds of acceptable behavior. »

Mina x gn!reader

synopsis - being a regular at urgent care raises suspicions but apparently also temperatures which results in the blurring of a few lines

wordcount - 1.5K

T/W - mentions of diverse injuries, stitches, and the hospital obviously. resident!mina, patient!reader angst but also fluff that’s not really fluff bc its just angst disguised as fluff. yearning if you will.

A/N - i made my research after writing🧍‍♀️girlie is NOT supposed to be alone with the patient but oh well. we’re here for the plot. happy mina day to all who celebrate!!

Mina’s movements were calculated. Precise, and accurate. She never let any room for the unexpected. It was too dangerous.

Her attention was consumed by the monitors, checking and writing down any anomalies she deemed important enough ahead of your transfer to a surgical unit. You’d come in with an open wound on your cheekbone, and pain in your arm which she quickly found out was a fracture in need of surgery.

She was known to be effective, eyes sharp and catching any detail that dared try and escape her. Like how your heartrate slightly increased on the monitor when she came in earlier, or the way you looked at her whenever you landed in the building.

She tried to ignore the familiar sense of déjà-vu washing over her, but her questions kept increasing in number. She never knew the reason behind your visits, but the nature of your injuries gave her a few clues. A broken nose, scratches, cuts and open wounds, hematomas… Five visits in the past two years, an unusual average, enough to leave an imprint on any Resident.

Something about you was odd. It pulled at a curiosity she’d vowed to ignore unless in name of the patient’s wellbeing, and you were especially good at tempting her.

For whatever reason, she was the one assigned to your case for every one of your visits. A twist of fate maybe. She’d call it incredible bad luck if she hadn’t grown that damn soft spot.

As frustrating as tending to you could be, the hours it took to do so allowed her to get a glimpse of the person behind the entire Unit’s favorite gossip column. Though that glimpse remained very surface leveled.

You were incredibly hard to read through your blatent lies, and it scared her. It made her see through herself more than she probably ever could you.

In short, she was attracted to you.

“What are you thinking about?” Your voice was soft despite the slight rasp in your throat. It almost made her forget about her surroundings.

“Nothing.” She cleared her throat, tearing her eyes away from your figure as fast as she’d found it.

You chuckled, your mind a little fuzzy from the local anesthesia. “Come on, we’re past that.”

Her fingers halted their motion against the clipboard in her hands, something you barely noticed but still had the strength to smirk at. It wasn’t hard getting a reaction from her, but it was hard to catch it.

You smiled to yourself, closing your eyes as the effects of the anesthesia lingered. That was something you usually kept to yourself, and Mina’s attention didn’t fail to catch that detail either.

"You know, it’s getting hard to believe you're not getting hurt on purpose." She sighed, pushing her glasses back up her nose.

"I would never break a bone on purpose.” You mumbled, wincing slightly as you adjusted yourself on the examination table. “Hurts like hell…"

"Thought you'd be a little tougher," Mina remarked in a tone that pushed your eyes open.

It was colder than you were used to. Icy and slippery.

"Yeah, well… we all have our limits, Mina." You replied quietly.

"It's still Dr. Myoui to you.”

You nodded, pursing your lips apologetically. The words would have pulled a laugh out of you if they’d ever come out of anyone else’s chest, but you knew better around her.

"What happened this time?" She asked, and the question surprised you. A glance at her eyes, now on you only out of respect, and you found out it wasn’t her own will.

Don’t be difficult, they begged. So you played along.

"Fell off a skateboard," You responded with as casual of a demeanor as you could.

She stared at you in silence, leaving you a few custom seconds to see if you'd tell her the truth this time. Instead, you offered her your best smile, and she had to hold her own back. "Do you even have a skateboard?"

"Do you need that information to treat me?"

"Just wondering."

"You seem to do that a lot…" You trailed off, leaving the words hanging in the air.

Mina left that as the last of them to be spoken for a long while, turning her focus onto some more medical nonsense you could never decipher to save your life.

Maybe that’s why your eyes always landed on her.

She could feel them, following her every move around the room, and it was hard not to meet them.

A silence you were used to settled, the quiet hum of the room fading into the tension hanging in the air.

You feigned interest in your hospital bracelet to escape it, but the sight of your own name made you look away from it. The blank ceiling was enough to distract you, but only for a moment.

Not staring at her was an effort you struggled to make even with a sound mind. The first time you’d seen her, it took you a full minute to blink. It had pulled a smile out of her, and the words she used to point it out echoed in a blurry memory.

How safe you felt in her hands that night, you sought the feeling ever since. In vain.

Your gaze bore into her, merciless against the composure she desperately tried to hold on to. Each of your visits tested it in a way she had yet to see. To feel. She would resent you if she doubted your intentions. If she doubted her own.

"How long until it's not anymore?" Your voice broke the silence, startling Mina into meeting your eyes again.

This anesthesia seemed to guide you into an uncharted territory, where the boundaries of her professionalism blurred, seeping through her fingers with your every word.

She seemed lost in the place your words had suddenly lured her into, so you offered some guidance.

"How long until I can call you Mina?"

The question lingered in the air, pulling at the veil you’d draped over your desires.

It seemed you were close to baring them, Mina exposing a glimpse with a soft bite on her bottom lip.

You’d sculpted a fragile bridge. Cracked and vulnerable to the slightest movement. You enjoyed dancing around it, but one wrong step and it all comes crumbling down.

Mina hesitated, eyes avoidant and voice soft as she stepped forward. "Maybe once you don't get hurt anymore," she murmured.

This wasn’t the first dance she invited you to. It was rare, you weren’t used to it, but you’d rehearsed enough to guide yourselves through it.

“You know, I'd love to see you somewhere else. Outside these walls, preferably," You confessed in a whisper, wary of the thin curtains separating you from the bustling building.

Those almost slipped her mind. You could tell by the silence that followed.

She put her clipboard on a free space of the table, far enough away to keep it from becoming an obstacle. Her hands reached for your injured cheekbone, carefully examining the cut she’d stitched moments ago.

A breath caught in your throat at the touch and attention, long enough to bring a few changes to the data displayed on the screen not too far from you. A change she didn’t fail to notice yet again as she went to retrieve her notes.

A quiet laugh escaped her lips, catching you off guard. You could only watch her write down whatever conclusions she’d pulled out of her observations, waiting to see if it was safe to carry on.

“Do you feel any pain?” She asked.

“Uhm...” You hummed, focusing in order to identify any pain other than the one in your heart. “Slightly. Now that you mention it.”

Mina nodded and carried on with a bunch of questions about your well-being. You answered all of them honestly, words leaving your mouth without much thought.

“Do you feel lightheaded? Any dizziness?”

“No.”

“Are you feeling thirsty, or hungry?”

“A little thirsty.”

“Can you tell me your name and where you are right now?”

“My name is Y/n, and I’m in… at the urgent care.”

"Where would you like to see me?"

Her voice had dropped a couple decibels on that one. It took a few more seconds for you to sink it in and match an answer.

"Somewhere a little more… colorful?”

Wait…

Your eyes left the spot they’d blankly focused on on the floor to find hers still ignoring you.

“I mean… I don't know, I didn't think that far," you admitted, complying to her silent wishes.

Mina let a smile slip, a rare sight that let you peek at the depth of her feelings, and her thoughts allowed her to fantasize about the world outside. The one she could share with you. "That would be nice," she admitted softly.

Your smile mirrored her own, "So… Is that a yes?" you probed, and she chuckled, ignoring your question once more as she wrapped up her duties.

Just then, a couple nurses stepped into the room, asking Mina to take you away for the transfer you were long past due for.

Your arm was in a far worse state than your face. Or your heart.

"See you in three months, Y/n.”

-

part.2

[catboybiologist]

Do you see a future where we can give a trans person a shot and have their body start making the correct sex hormones (eg testes change to make E, or ovaries change to make T)? How far off? What things need to be accomplished to achieve it, and what tools do we already have?

Disclaimer that none of this is gonna be all that scientifically robust, the terms used are gonna be descriptive rather than technical, and that I'm just woke up and these are the ravings of a woman gone mad.

A single shot is ambitious, but I could see a course of several months or a couple years that, after those several months, lasts a lifetime.

How far off? I mean, wildly dependent on funding and focus. Unfortunately, nothing related to trans healthcare is gonna see a serious push I would think. With an actual, serious push, I would give it a few decades of research (if that)(this is blisteringly fast btw) until it's punted over to the FDA. At that point it's outside of my knowledge to know how far things would move forward.

But honestly, it's part politics, part luck of the draw on what people research and push forward. Might happen in our lifetime, but don't hold your breath. Research is grindingly slow.

This is mostly based around the possibility of inducing transdifferentiation. Tldr:

-stem cells are exciting bc they can become any cell type. They haven't "locked in" their cell fate yet.

-most research on cellular differentiation centers around deprogrammed differentiated cells, reverting them to stem cells, and then reprogramming them into something else. The deprogramming is actually well studied (shoutout Yamanaka factors) but I don't see something like this reaching a medicinal, in vivo use soon.

-in extremely rare and induced cases, however, you can force a fully differentiated cell type to become another fully differentiated cell type *without* that intermediate. This is likely way easier to pull off in vivo, even though the initial molecular triggers are much, much rarer and more difficult to study.

Which brings us to the two theoretical dots that we can use here: prostatic metioplasias as a result of testosterone (for transmascs) and the role of DMRT1 for transfemmes.

Broad tldr of each of these points:

-there was a study that studied vaginal lining of transmascs who had been on T for several years and gotten hysterectomies. They found some prostate tissue intercalating the vagina.

-removal of a particular gene (DMRT1) allowed testes to slowly become ovarian tissue and produce estrogens. This gene is responsible for maintaining testes cell fate- keeping the lock, locked.

Neither of these provides a direct basis for actual medication. They show avenues for what will work, however. What's necessary here is to understand the upstream signals that control the expression of genes like DMRT1, which can then be exploited to force expression or stop expression in vivo, in a human.

Basically, the way transdifferentiation would work here is blasting the appropriate cells with enough of these signals, over enough time to ensure that everything actually undergoes TD, to reprogram everything you want to reprogram.

(yes, I know about the crispr transfemme who targeted DMRT1. No, I don't think that's real. I've posted about that before.)

You don't have to bother reading these, but here's the primary sources I'm talking about for anyone interested:

[andromeddog]

Do you have any tips for drawing soldiers uniforms?

hi anon! really really long, really really rambling answer for u below the cut <3

i have many thoughts! ig the first thing is, what are your intentions with what you want to draw? are you going for complete accuracy, or is it more of a vibe situation? bc you don’t always need to be perfectly precise with uniforms, sometimes just suggesting what’s there is enough. being completely 100% with them can sometimes be distracting or unnecessary…

LIKE HERE FOR EXAMPLE….. in the snafu piece i kind of only hinted at what he was wearing… the belt, the pants, theyre really all over the place. but that’s not what’s important here or what i was trying to depict, so that’s okay! u want to see snaf being crazy, which i got more w shading and color. whereas in the piece w speirs, being precise in what he’s wearing lends itself to the war dog intensity of the whole guy. he wears that helmet proudly and holds tightly to the strap of his gun, very much IN his uniform in this moment

(do i think either of these r successful? idk. looking back on the work ive made and viewing them as complete “””””art”””””””” pieces is wack. am i in art school again. these certainly are drawings, let’s just assume they are worthy of this sort of analysis and that for sake of argument are “successful”)

buuuuuuut u can also go too crazy with pinpoint accuracy haha. like this pic? maybe it was just bc i was using a monoline brush but there was literally no reason to draw every single fold. it makes this drawing incredibly busy and unpleasant to look at. i think im just obsessive and get too invested in the details and miss the forest for the trees. so u get shit garbage like this sometimes, but that’s a me problem. i would just keep an eye on what the purpose of the drawing is!

if it’s accuracy ur going for (which i usually am) then reference is your best friend. look in different places for them, collect them, caress them like a lover, they are very important. after u look at soldiers a lot u can kind of get a feel for how specific uniforms sit on them (watching shows, movies, hell even gifsets if u r extra online like me) but that varies for whatever era ur trying to draw! spending time researching is kind of a big part of the process haha. be willing to scroll through lots of pics and lots of sources, if ur really dedicated to the cause then maybe buy some reference books!

in general i find uniforms are practical, durable, and layered for utility. everything has a purpose, those fifty straps going cross body are usually attached to fifty pouches, each with their own functional use. understanding the different parts of a uniform, their uses, the WHY of an items inclusion helps build the whole look in ur head and translates to the drawing. uniforms are bulkier than i initially expected bc they are meant to fit as many ppl as possible and typically have little to no tailoring (if we’re talking ww2. ww1 was all over the place w uniforms, especially officers, but that’s another ramble for another friday night). each era and each country and sometimes even each soldier’s uniform has its own little quirks. that’s what’s so appealing about research and drawing them for me! isn’t it neat how ppl’s individual preferences shine through even when they all have to wear the exact same thing!!!!

did any of this help at all??? i am chronically incapable of keeping things succinct! but if u read all of this thank you! i love u 🦆✨

[dol-dogboy]

Percy gives you an… interesting lesson on anatomy.

> Warnings: Typical DoL themes, medical terms, discussions of off screen bodily harm, brief discussion of murder

> Notes: There’s some smut at the end, pussy AND dick versions for the reader, Percy is referred to with only he/him here since it’s in the pov of pc, also if any information in this is wrong then blame Wikipedia bc that’s the extent of research I wanted to do for this silly horny fic lol (also it’s very simplified on purpose bc otherwise I would have ran out of ways to spice the writing up)

> Word count: 2215

You are in Percy’s room. Bleak walls protect you from the outside.

Percy sits at his desk, reading a book. He looks absorbed in it.

(1) Ask about the book he’s reading. <<

“I’ve seen you read that before… what’s it about?” You tilt your head inquisitively. You’re unable to see the actual title of the book from the angle he’s reading at.

Percy glances up at you, facial expression unreadable. “… It’s a textbook,” He quickly flips it towards you, and you spot the word ‘anatomy’ before he flips it back around. “Not some fictional fairytale as you seem to have assumed it was.”

You look between the book and him, maybe this is an opportunity to finally learn more about your… boyfriend? “Oh, I see….. why do you, uh, read about that? Is it for Sirris’ class…?”

He rolls his eyes. “Science is already my best class. I don’t need extra time for studying. This is for my own personal hobbies.” You feel like you have a pretty good idea about what he could be talking about. +Stress

“I’ve studied multiple textbooks for it. A few years ago I most likely wouldn’t have been able to even place where all of the major organs are located in the body— now I even understand the ins and outs of the central, peripheral nervous, and circulatory systems. And more, of course.” You kinda feel like he just started stroking his own ego at the end there…

(1) Enquire about the central nervous system.

(2) Enquire about the peripheral nervous system.

(3) Enquire about the circulatory system. <<

“The circulatory system… that’s for blood, right?”

“Good job, you managed to get it partially right. The circulatory system is about your blood vessels, heart, and the blood that runs through it— it doesn’t take a genius to understand that.” His tone was clearly sarcastic, and while you did have a vague understanding of the topic… you wanted to try and get him to talk more.

“I-I see! So… you know where all of my blood vessels are then? In my body?”

At this point, Percy had fully turned around in his desk chair to face you. “‘In my body’ as though your blood vessels would be somewhere else,” He scoffed. “Yes. I have the entire system memorized by now. It’s useful for knowing where to avoid stabbing someone, so they’re not out of commission too fast… what? Are you so dumb that you need me to teach you about it?” ++Stress

Before you can answer, he’s already stood up to his full height. “Okay then. Bed. Now,” It’s very telling how quickly you scramble to the other side of the room. “Clothes off too. Keep your underwear on, don’t you dare get any funny ideas.” You do as he asks, squirming under his scrutinizing gaze. +Arousal

Percy steps over to you and places a hand on your chest, pushing you down onto his mattress before manhandling you into a more convenient position. Now you feel like you’re about to be dissected…

He examines you from above, towering over you now. He stands still for a few seconds, as though he’s trying to determine the best way to start. Then, he clicks his tongue and places a claw directly onto the center of your chest. “We’ll start here. The heart. It pumps blood throughout the blood vessels in your body… I could go into the overall structure of the heart, but I’ll keep it dumbed down for you. There are multiple types of blood vessels, but today we’ll focus on my favorites. Arteries.” You feel a little concerned that he has a favorite genre of blood vessel.

He leans down and places his other hands claw directly next to the first, before gently running them up your chest. Gliding across your clavicle before ending up on the edges of your neck. You’re sure he can feel the bobbing of your throat as your breathing grows heavier. +Arousal

“Aortic arch. Brachiocephalic. Common carotids. Vertebral.” He presses his claws down into your skin oh-so gently. “What? You getting scared? I’m not even doing anything to you… yet.” He lets out an amused huff when you stiffen in response to his words. “Oh, calm down. It was a joke.”

He trails his claws back down again, stopping at your clavicle once more. He curves around the shape of them before moving down your arm. “Subclavian, right and left. Axillary…” Down… “Brachial…” Down…… “And then there’s…” He places a second finger next to the ones he already had pressed onto you. “The radial and ulnar arteries. Bifurcated from the brachial artery,” He finally stops his descent at your palms. “Finally, the palmar arches, deep and superficial.”

He traces over where you presume the arteries are located… you can’t help but blush over him handling your palms so sweetly. It’s possible he’s so deep into explaining that he doesn’t even realize how strangely intimate this is. +Arousal

“Did you know that cutting someone’s arms vertically rather than horizontally is the most effective way to ensure that they bleed to death? Deeper, damages more… isn’t that just. So. Interesting?” He emphasizes every word with a scratch up your arm, not deep enough to bleed, but enough to sting. You manage to stop yourself from flinching away, maybe you spoke too soon… +Pain

Percy lifts his hands away from your arms briefly. You shiver at the loss. He notices and rolls his eyes. “Am I going to be able to go over everything else, or are you going to cream your damn pants over me barely touching you before I can?” You blush deeply, and he groans in exasperation before placing his fingers in the original position they were in when you started. “… Anyways, the heart area itself has the ascending and descending aorta, the pulmonary artery, the coronary arteries… blah blah blah.”

He moves one claw down your torso, and you can’t help but feel like he’s pressing down harder than he was before. +Stress +Arousal

“Coming from the heart we have… celiac. The superior mesenteric artery. Renal— supplies blood to the kidneys...” Percy’s voice sounds completely focused. Maybe he’s zoned out, and you’re nothing more than some sort of medical chart to him now… the thought makes you bite your lip to avoid making an embarrassing noise. You start staring up at the ceiling to avoid that intense stare of his. +Arousal

He hums and continues with his musings— a distant part of you panics at how close he’s getting to your crotch. How mad is he going to be over you disobeying him and getting ‘funny ideas’?— “Gonadal artery. That’s the generic term at least, changes depending on what you have. Then there’s the inferior mesenteric artery. Not to be confused with the superior, of course.” Another ego stroke. Somehow. This is like a job to him. “Nearly at the legs now… common iliac artery,” You’re unsure when, but his other finger had now started mirroring the first again like before. “Which goes into the external and internal iliac arteries… then—“

He pauses. You inhale sharply. You can’t look down at him. You know precisely what he’s looking at. “You. Eyes down. Now.” He sounds pissed. Oh no. +Stress

Tentatively, you look down. Percy’s eye locks with yours, and you can tell that he’s unamused. Both of his hands are located on your thighs now, your brain is so fried you didn’t even notice when he had done that.

(If PC has a vagina)

A clear wet patch has formed on your underwear, utterly humiliating you at how easy it was for him to get you so wet. “Christ, how much of a desperate whore do you have to be to get this worked up over me barely putting my hands on you.” He spat the words out with utter contempt in his voice. You can’t stop the whimper that escapes you at the degrading words. That only makes him look angrier.

His hands grip at your thighs harder. “What? You think it’s hot having me study you or something? Want me to play scientist for you?” He leans up and over you intimidatingly, now looking at you face-to-face. The angle was slightly awkward due to the positioning of the bed, but your cunt throbbed over it anyways. +Arousal

“I-I just… your hands—“

“Oh? My hands? You got some sort of fetish for them? Or is it the claws?” By now his grip was nearly enough to break skin. “Do you like how easy it would be for me to slice you open? Cut and slash at you until you bleed out on my mattress? Or maybe…” He repositions his hands onto the back of your thighs so he can lift them up slightly. “You want me to shove them up your cunt? Fingerfuck you without any care for your safety? My claws would probably nick you, you know? Unless you’re into blood…” +Stress ++Arousal

You feel yourself tense up, your thighs instinctually trying to press together as you cum untouched. Percy’s eye widens and he looks down at the spot between your legs, now completely soaked. “Did you just—?” Your face burns. You can’t believe you just came that easily. +Stress

He takes a few moments to process, before his expression morphs into a scowl. “You pathetic little…” He growls and drops your legs, now going to grip at your shoulders, lifting you up and off of the bed. He carries you as your mind reels, barely even processing him opening the door to his bedroom and suddenly plopping you on the ground right outside. “Out. I need to see if you got my sheets wet— need to determine just how much I’m going to be pummeling you later.”

The door starts to shut as your brain finally starts back up again. “Wait— wait! What about my clothes!—“

“You’ll get them back later. Maybe. Better run to your room quick, before someone dubious gets an idea.” You think you see the hint of a sneer on his face as he slams the door in front of you.

You are in the main hall of the orphanage. A couple of orphans on cleaning duty sweep the floor.

You can’t bear the thought of someone catching you like this. You hasten to your bedroom.

(1) Next

(If PC has a dick)

Your cock strains against your underwear, tip peeking out at the top, utterly humiliating you at how easy it was for him to get you so hard. “Christ, how much of a desperate whore do you have to be to get this worked up over me barely putting my hands on you.” He spat the words out with utter contempt in his voice. You can’t stop the whimper that escapes you at the degrading words. That only makes him look angrier.

His hands grip at your thighs harder. “What? You think it’s hot having me study you or something? Want me to play scientist for you?” He leans up and over you intimidatingly, now looking at you face-to-face. The angle was slightly awkward due to the positioning of the bed, but your dick throbbed over it anyways. +Arousal

“I-I just… your hands—“

“Oh? My hands? You got some sort of fetish for them? Or is it the claws?” By now his grip was nearly enough to break skin. “Do you like how easy it would be for me to slice you open? Cut and slash at you until you bleed out on my mattress? Or maybe…” He spreads your thighs apart forcefully. “You want me to wrap them around your pathetic cock? So sad that you can’t fuck me proper that you’ll settle for my hand? Even when I dig them into you, you’ll probably just imagine it’s my hole squeezing around you instead. Even when I draw blood…” +Stress ++Arousal

You feel your hips instinctively buck up as you cum untouched, whining quietly. Percy’s eye widens and he looks down at the spot between your legs, cum now spread up your stomach. “Did you just—?” Your face burns. You can’t believe you just came that easily. +Stress

He takes a few moments to process, before his expression morphs into a scowl. “You pathetic little…” He growls and lets go of your thighs, now going to grip at your shoulders, lifting you up and off of the bed. He carries you as your mind reels, barely even processing him opening the door to his bedroom and suddenly plopping you on the ground right outside. “Out. I need to see if you got my sheets dirty— need to determine just how much I’m going to be pummeling you later.”

The door starts to shut as your brain finally starts back up again. “Wait— wait! What about my clothes!—“

“You’ll get them back later. Maybe. Better run to your room quick, before someone dubious gets an idea.” You think you see the hint of a sneer on his face as he slams the door in front of you.

You are in the main hall of the orphanage. A couple of orphans on cleaning duty sweep the floor.

You can’t bear the thought of someone catching you like this. You hasten to your bedroom.

(1) Next

[ellenatural]

anon and i researched and found the early development press releases for criminal minds, esp character descriptions. it's all under the keep reading, just for academic purposes, bc i find the differences very interesting. like. reid was originally 27???

from thefutoncritic.com 1

GIDEON:

Patinkin will play Spec. Agent Jason Donovan, described in the casting notice as "35-45. Experienced and has been around the block, deceptively average-looking, articulate, with a commanding presence, he's a seasoned FBI profiler who traded in field work for seminar instruction after witnessing a dozen cops die in a shrapnel bomb. He maintains a close relationship with his ex-wife, a psychiatrist, who has been helping him deal. When a serial murderer plagues the Seattle area, Donovan is asked to return as a full-time Unit Chief, but kept under close supervision."

ELLE:

Glaudini then is set as Spec. Agent Elle Greenaway, described as "Late 20s. All ethnicities. She is a young, sharp, resourceful and feisty FBI agent with a background in sex offender cases. Her specialty area stems from having been raped at age 19, and the assailant never having been caught. Elle impresses the hell out of the task force members, which is what she wants, as she is bucking for the opening in the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) at Quantico. According to her "file," Elle's biggest character flaw is impatience."

MORGAN:

As for Moore it's expected he'll play Spec. Agent Derek Morgan, who's detailed as "30-35. All ethnicities. He is a handsome, confident, fast-talking FBI profiler, an expert on obsessional crimes. A witty, direct lady charmer who trains new agents, Morgan joins the special profiler team led by Donovan, to save a woman from becoming the fifth victim of a deranged serial killer."

from thefutoncritic.com 2

HOTCH:

Thomas Gibson [...] is the latest addition to the pilot, a suspense thriller set inside the F.B.I.'s Behavioral Analysis Unit. He'll reportedly play Spec. Agent Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner in the project. Said character is described in the casting notice as: "Mid 30s. All American. He is an FBI special agent, a loyal, God-fearing compassionate, family man who is respectful of authority. He's a nice guy, reluctant to pass judgement, but more than capable of doing what's required of him."

SPENCER:

It's believed Gubler's role has been confirmed as Spec. Agent Dr. Daniel Reed: "27. A classically misunderstood genius with a seriously low social I.Q., he is an FBI special agent whose expertise covers just about everything. Reed takes his job seriously, and often needs to be reminded by his cohorts to lighten up."

[yichens]

Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 4: Kenta & Kim

Jack of Diamonds: Focuses on fulfilling his duty. Hard to change; in both mind and heart. Seven of Clubs: Standing up for what is right. Going against the current and making a difference.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 4 prompts: kenta & kim

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

i'm quite amused by the fact that kenta and kim ended up with cards that are opposites of each other: other one is bound to oneself while the other connects more to people around (or above) them. yet in their differences, they're also quite similar – two sides of the same coin, i might say.

kenta: jack of diamonds is an ironic choice for kenta, i have to admit that. in general, diamonds are connected – amongst other things – to wealth, possessions, and independence. ironically, kenta lacks all of these things. he isn't rich on anything, doesn't own anything. not even his own self belongs to him bc he gave up his mind and body a long time ago (and his heart? i think it died throughout his childhood as he became the weapon tony needed him to be. tho others might say it's only buried deep and is still beating despite, or in spite, of it all).

but the jack of diamonds as one of the diamond cards isn't really about money or property. it's about loyalty and devotion, about striving for perfection and fulfilling your duty. a jack of diamonds is a hard worker, dedicated to a fault, stubborn as a mule, and so very hard to change bc of that. making them come around and change their mind is frustrating bc they don't want to admit they're wrong. and well, kenta might be aware of the fact that what he's doing is wrong, but. what other purpose does he have? he owes this much to his "father" (read: owner). the abuse disguised as love might be painful to take at times but does he really deserve anything more? ("yes," answer pete and kim, vehemently, above everyone else. "no," whispers kenta's own mind, black with tony's poison.)

kim: where kenta avoids change and doesn't believe he's capable of making things better for others bc he's simply not that strong, kim is the opposite. he has clear principles and he's unwilling to give those up for anything. he cannot stand watching what tony is doing after learning about his crimes. he stands up for justice, for the mistreated children under tony's care, for his career and talent, and most of all, for himself. he will not bend into anyone's will – hell, he'd rather die than let that happen as he proves by comforting tony in his own home about his misdeeds which really requires some huge balls from this guy. (sorry kim, i might love you but what were you even thinking???)

seven of clubs is a card that is about taking a stance and going against something you find wrong. it is about resistance bc you're so convinced that what you think or do is the right thing. it is about change – about forcing change to happen bc things cannot continue the way they are. and this is all truly what kim represents: conviction, sense of justice, and believing in your own capability and skills. some might see him a bit arrogant, too, but i think it's one of his best qualities that he's confident and knows exactly where he stands, what he wants, and what he deserves.

as a couple, i've already said it: kenta and kim are two sides of the same coin. that's what makes them clash but also work together. kim questions why kenta is doing what he is doing while also showing how strong he can be when he believes in himself and his principles. that affects kenta enough to make him break out of his cage – slowly, one broken rule at a time, but still. eventually, he picks up that knife and kills the final beast. he is free or left adrift, i don't really know. but at least, he's found another duty and has accepted change as the necessary evil. no more hurting innocents. something can be stronger than tony (other ppl's devotion to each other, perhaps? kenta isn't sure but i hope he figures it out.)

(an additional note of this edit: i think it's fitting that kenta's pic is more on the dark side, while kim's is brighter/has brighter yellow tones. kenta is the shadow while kim is the light etc. etc. you know what i mean)

[ganondoodle]

totk rewritten (for me, specifically)

since i dont have time to get to drawing it right away AND im worried people might take this the wrong way, i thought i could write out some bullet points about my rewrite of totk (meant as a fix FOR ME not saying its inherently better) to give you a better idea on what im going for:

the core structure largely remains the same, the biggest change is no time travel, thus making zelda your travel companion, and zonau tech being lagerly gone/broken with shiekah tech instead

it is not shown but said in dialog that shiekah tech, such as the ancient furnaces, shrines and towers are either turning off or have flickering power supply and purah having calculated that all their connections point towards beneath hyrule castle

game starts pretty much the same as real totk, most zonau ruins are so withered away that they are barely recognizable and the further you get down theres more and more shiekah tech pipes and occasional a miasma vein, some pipes are broken and spill miasma, others flicker

instead of the room with the wall carvings theres one with old ancient shiekah research remains, old broken tech and prototypes you dont what their purpose was, all documents are too withered to read but zelda finds one that was sealed in a container and takes it with her (she got a backpack now)

theres a structure similar to the bed thingy of the shrine of life from botw but its working in reverse; within it is sealed ganondorf (i gotta work out the details around it still)

(details still missing) it breaks and zelda takes the enigma stone but doesnt touch it directly and puts it within a sealed container (you know kinda like you should do with soemthing you have no idea of what it is and was alsO LOCATED ON A CORPSE)

ganondorf isnt the elegantly talking villain type in this version but more of a mess, talking in different languages both modern and ancient but you cant make out any clear sentences, struggeling with suddendly being awake and half alive after spending thousands of years in an agonizing limbo, having witnessed every second of the passage of time yet also it feeling like everything just happened all at the same time

the ground breaks as he recognizes zelda (bc of her fighting calamity ganon in botw) but also not really, still sees her as a threat (also bc of the enigma stone in the container she still has in her hand) attacks her, link deflects with the master sword, it breaks and damages his arm, zelda drops her torch and pulls link away towards where they came in from and both run as the caves fill up with miasma like a flood with arms starting to reach after them while they both run back through the tunnels (creepy chase sequence anyone?)

cataclysm happens (ground breaks, miasma bursts out of the ground, especially where shrines and towers where since they were still connected to the pipelines) ground shifts massively in some places giving alot of the map a whole new structure; all shiekah tech that was not independent stops working due to power loss

links arm is amputated since otherwise the miasma would spread to his whole body; purah, robbie and zelda work out a prosthetic arm prototype to give to link (protoype at first will be upgraded at halfway point of the game) that can switch between multiple modes, like a hand to hold normal items or a weapon that isnt crafted, and a fusing ability (though maybe limited in the prototype) that lets you make weapons similar to the weapon fusing in canon totk (potential upgrades including an extendable guardian arm that doesnt break, grapple hook anyone??, also the ability to build stuff out of shiekah tech parts, not glue needed you actually screw it together, maybe zelda even helps)

now you are given free roam of hyrule, the goal is to explore and find what has changed and check on people, see what the underground has, new monsters have spawned etc.

zelda is your companion the whole time, she can use the shiekah stone/purah pad to analyze enemies for you, she also carries at least a dagger for her own self defense but doesnt contribute much to the fight (subject to change maybe), you can talk to her anytime and she usually has something to comment on depending on where you are or what you just did, can give you tips and advice IF ASKED FOR IT, when you discover ancient ruins, whether zonau or shiekah, she can either decipher it for you or take photos for later to find out more about everything that has happend and what it means, she also takes part in conversations when you talk to someone, her outfit changes with yours (meaning when you wear the tingle set she wears it too, opens up alot of funny interactions njfkdk)

purah has built new towers but they function different (still working on the details) mainly that they function independent from the energy source in hyrule castle

there are floating islands but they are bigger and in more connected clusters, when reaching them its ancient withered ruins that the ancient shiekah built support around (like the platform used by monk miz kyoshia) to keep them afloat; there are building like observatories and research labs, but all very overgrown due to being up there for so long, theres a titan prototype on one of the islands, its shaped like a whale and zelda deciphers it was called vah narisha (reference to the whale deity in skyward sword) (i havent decided yet if its fully broken and just a big piece of enviroment to explore or half functioning floating around, or maybe first broken but later half repaired so it can fly around at least giving you an easier way to reach other island, you cant steer it tho) some of them are falling bc of energy loss but the bigger ones have independent energy sources (work in progress)

the underground has more diverse zones depending on which part of the map it is located on, there are old mines (for luminous stone) from the zonau but all is extremely withered, in each one its been mostly built over by the shiekah but there are construct remains that were clearly dissected and studied, half built shrines and towers, you can find collectibles and lore there (working on more details, but an idea was to include remains of ancient shiekah tha fled there when they were persecuted by that old king of hyrule, adding to the eery vibe)

some titans (maybe two, and the other are still on the sruface, like vah medoh) feel down during the cataclysm, broken apart or malfunctioning/ possibly being a boss as in they were used by a big cluster of miasma hands like a hermit crab uses its shell, the inside filled with eyes and different sized hands dragging itself towards you like a drowing man grabs after anything to save him)

dongos are your go to transportation here and a little different, when you call one they dig a path to you (not permanent, just so they can always spawn near you) they glow in the dark and can climb on walls (bc why not), and can point you towards the next objective/point of interest, likely where theres a high concentration of luminous stone since that is what they eat and its usually where old mining/construction sites are (still working on a replacement for light roots that are less invasive)

the rat from the trailer is a miniboss/boss you need to defeat in order to get the broken mastersword back into your possession

(im still working on how the sages work, but the idea is to incorporate their abilites for more efficient and reliable use into links shiekah prosthetic, so you can still use their abilities but only when you actually want)

(again still working on details) halfway point of the game is you trying to find out where ganondorf went, not intending to fight necessarily but just to find out more but it devolves into you fighting some sort of miasma monster (either him or some sort of manifestation he made) and you get a bunch of short memory flashes from him, all vague and a wild mess from both the time he was sealed and from the time afterwards, maybe even a perspective shift from when link was fighting dark beast ganon, but from ganons view, from zelda when she was keeping that manifestation in check, random views from the malice eyes from botw, from the blights, maybe even from the fight with the old and new champions, from the point when shiekah built their tech around him while he had to watch not able to do anything etc.)

links arm gets upgraded from prototype to a full prosthetic, opening up more fusing abilites and other things (like the grapple hook, again working on it, im open for ideas lol)

i will reblog this and add more over time if you want, but do let me know if you like it thus far, bc im still unsure if its worth the effort of working more on this QnQ

(also if you dont like just keep scrolling, i dont need to know that you hate it, it literally changes nothing but make me annoyed xD)

[sky-forest-inn]

i dont really know anything abt systems and i am not one myself

i was under the assumption that the . formation??? of a system can only occur due to childhood trauma but past that point anything goes.

that's probably wrong but idk where to get actual information on this bc i genuinely know nothing

Welcome to systemhood which is the most under-researched thing ever. It can be formed in many different was, most commonly from childhood trauma. Due to how under researched systems are, it’s certainly difficult to find info of them. Your best bet is just learning from systems themselves and their personal experiences. It’s different for ALL systems, so you cant rely solely on One (1) system to tell you the info. I’ll share what I know though!!

I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL IN ANY WAY AT ALL, I AM JUST SHARING KNOWLEDGE IVE BEEN GIVEN THROUGHOUT THE SPAN OF FIVE YEARS OF RESEARCHING AND LEARNING!!! Anyone (in GOOD FAITH) is free to correct me if i say anything wrong. I am on mobile (and only just woke up) so i cant provide real evidence as im speaking

(Didn’t expect to say so much but i did to the point i need a Read More bracket OOPS lmao)

The most well known systems as of now are CDD (complex dissociative disorder) systems, such as DID (dissociative identity disorder), OSDD (other specified identity disorder) and one other i cannot remember the name for. These ones are frequently (NOT ALWAYS) formed from trauma, typically at a young age and often repetitive or severe

At a very young age, your brain is often split in several parts as it is developing. Often why children tend to switch moods very quickly. As you grow up, your brain slowly pieces itself together into your true personality, however, trauma can cause your brain to remain fragmented, leaving those fragments into being parts/alters/headmates. This is a coping mechanism created by the brain so certain parts can handle unsafe situations

Aside from CDDs, there’s two terms, traumagenic and endogenic. Traumagenic is self explanatory and CDDs will typically fall under there. Endogenic is a umbrella term of MANY formations of systemhod. Spiritual, natural (it just happened some day), willogenic (willed into existence on purpose) and so much more. Some can be both, traumaendo, mixed-origin etc! CDDs can even be endogenic in some way too :]

You can have a trauma formed system, but also have willogenic headmates! You can have a naturally formed system, but also have trauma formed headmates! Hell, some systems will not even know their origin and that’s okay!!!! You do not need a label for your system!!

Both terms were coined by a traumagenic system i believe??? Who is also pro-endogenic, so anyone who is antiendo using those terms, do remember that (:3

——————————————

Alters/headmates/parts can be different just as much as systems can be. Some can just be emotional states, some can be voices, some can be fragments, some can be completely unique and (mostly) complete individuals. Even in one system alone, alters can differ between all of these! Some systems can only have 2 headmates, some have some between 10-30, some can have 100+, some can even have 1000+

There are also alters that are called introjects, who are formed from a certain someone/something (very often out of their control). They can be a factive (formed from a real life person), fictive (formed from a fictional character), songtive (formed from a song) and soooo much more!!! Some can even be mixed, some can have more than one source!

A common misconception is that introjects will form from comforting sources, or sources the system holds really closely, but quite a lot of systems actually have introjects from things they hate, or hell, are even triggered by. Introjects are very often formed from things they dont want to be formed from, and do not act the exact same way as their sources

Proof? We have a fictive of a shapeshifter from an among us series. Source is a heartless and evil killer who manipulates people. Our fictive though? Genuine sweetheart, often shy and anxious but loves her sourcemates so very much! Hell, Juli (💎) is with me right now and is a good example. Her source (julian arcane odyssey) is a genuine asshole with extremely high ego and brags to hell and back about his accomplishments. Juli here is just a girl trying to live and play games while being silly with her QPP and her friends!

That being said though, some introjects WILL act almost exactly like their sources, and this is okay!!! Even those split from absolute asshole of a person. Systemhood is often a part of healing, and that includes from individual headmates too. Recovery is different for all headmates and systems and it’s best to let them figure out how they should handle their struggles and the such

——————————————

Systemhood is extremely complex, it differs from system to system, and headmate to headmate. Some prefer plural or collective, some prefer parts, headmates, alters, personalities. Some CDDs will even prefer MPD (multiple personality disorder) [known to being an outdated term] instead of DID or OSDD and that’s okay!!

Everyone will have divided opinions over how systemhood works, but the MOST IMPORTANT thing to understand is, it’s NEVER black and white, there will ALWAYS be nuance, and honestly my #1 thing to remember is: if it’s in good faith, live and let live

Sharing terminology isn’t stealing. Sharing resources isn’t stealing. It’s called SHARING, and everyone deserves resources that can help understand themselves better and live an easier and better life. It’s good to interact with a diverse amount of systems, to share different perspectives, to understand each other, and show compassion and support for one another

It’s why, while i can understand many systems wishing for seperate spaces, it’s also good to share some spaces once a while. You don’t HAVE TO be in shared spaces, but i feel as though it will genuinely help in the long run. But as always, live and let live, and do what you feel is safe for you so long as it’s not harming anyone else

——————————————

With that aside, we ourselves are an OSDD-1b system! While we’re not safe sharing our trauma, i (💛aristris) am one of the trauma holders for some of our worst years of our life. While many CDDs typically experience memory amnesia/barriers, we don’t. Instead, memory is perceived differently from headmate to headmate. Many will remember my trauma more vaguely, fuzzy or blurry (but still remember them happening), while I can remember it clear as day, almost as though it only happened last week.

We often experience emotional amnesia more. One fronter will be absolutely pissed off upset, another fronter takes over while they cool off and can be the chillest and sweetest person ever. We tend to act really “mood swingy” because of this, especially when unmasked

We’ve recently surpassed 100 headmates lately, and we’re incredibly diverse in terms of such. Majority of us are mostly formed, though some are still fragmented or hard to see/communicate with. We’ve grown to enjoy each others’ company, though we still have a few bad apples we have to keep an eye on

Our fronting style can actually differ and never sticks to one method. Sometimes it feels like the clap of a hand switch, sometimes we meld into each other a bit before one takes over, very often we can see each other in frontspace and take turns (though that often causes a headache)

We have like two outer brainspaces. One’s our headspace which consists of a copy of the Upturned Inn from The Upturned and a pretty forest beside it, and the other is… the void. But we dont talk about that!!!

Our headspace memories actually tend to be really vague upon joining front. Some remember headspace memories better than others. And sometimes front memories can get really blurred upon joining. Our headmates have to wait quite a bit for our memory to relog and catch up with us, hah

We’ve known about systems for five whole years now, and two and a half of those years, we denied ourselves ENTIRELY. We were constantly surrounded by gatekeepy systems who were antiendo and would lose their shit over a system having even a Slightly Different experience than they do. Hell, weve seen COUNTLESS CALLOUT POSTS just for suspected sysfaking. It was a dangerous space for us and because of it, we refused to ever accept the idea we were a system

After all that time, we met who is now our partner system, the Lucky Clover Collective, who were the first ever pro-endo traumagenic (or mixed origin) system we ever met. We got to comfortably discuss systemhood, including endogenic systems, and they gave us the space we needed to at least give systemhood a go. In almost 2 weeks, it will be the first year anniversary of when we finally embraced our systemhood!!

Systemhood has a hell lot of struggles. Trauma relapses, headaches, difficult headmates, emotional disregulation, but we’d never trade our systemhood for anything in the world. This system has saved us so many times, made us feel safer and embrace ourselves for who we are easier. I used to hate everyone here, being a former persecutor, but ive learnt to love my headmates as much as they love me and i couldnt be happier with how we grew finally embracing systemhood

… i hope all thats shares enough!! haha, sorry i yapped so much, i think i may have gotten overly passionate, hah. I hope you can learn from this and from many others too, and most importantly, take care of yourself!!! Thanks for reading lol

[hotluncheddie]

Aaaand another one: 3,12,19 ❤️👀

OooOoooO hehehe :3c

3. how you feel about your current WIP

I feel good about it! my autistic Steve WIP is the only writing i've done in months so its nice to work on something again

I am a little nervous though bc im trying to add some elements that are gonna come with a tw - so there's an element of wanting to make them purposeful and important... and make sure its still Steve and not ooc coded bc thats annoying

12. a trope you're really into right now

mmmm I read a really good meet cute fic from another fandom and it reminded me how much I enjoy that type of trope. they met on public transport and it reminded me of a fic i read years and years ago and its making me itch for a good strangers to lovers steddie au

19. the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic

oh! i had to look up what time wheel of fortune aired on the 80's for 'memories of somethin' even smoking weed does not replace' bc i really wanted it to end with them watching something silly and domestic like a game show, and so needed to set the time correctly :)

(also not me name my fic like a fall out boy song lol)

more fic writer asks!

[celestie0]

hi pookie! unrelated to fanfic but i think you were in a gap year earlier and now ur bio says ur a med student. did u get into med school? if so, congrats!!!

actually i'm also in a gap yr and i was wondering how you made sure to be productive every day? like im literally rotting in bed every day lmao bc my day has no structure. sorry if this is too personal and if it is feel free to ignore!!

hiii my love yes i did!! i graduated last year in june n then started med school a few weeks ago :)

oh that's awesomee first of all congratulations on graduating!! that's a wonderful accomplishment. i'm assuming it's only been a couple months since you've graduated? there's no harm at all in taking a break

but yea i think the straightforward answer haha: probably working a job will give you the most structure. i worked full time at a clinic that was a little further away from my house so it ended up eating up a lot of my weekdays (leave house at 7am come home at 6pm type thing) but it was great for the structure and purpose. if you're not feeling like you can work a full time job, then you can work part time too. i left my full time job and started working at a research lab part time and it was a really nice balance of structure to rest before starting school

i'm not sure what your circumstances are, or if working is in your capacities at the moment, but yea like whether you're currently job hunting (i know how bad the job market can be ahhh) or if you're studying for the mcat or whatever you're doing in your gap year, i think the best way to have structure without work is cultivate a good morning routine and cultivate your hobbies. i found most days i would wake up at 6am i'd have much more productive days than days where i'd sleep in to 9/10am and then i'd just feel awful and rot in bed the rest of the day haha. so if you can just get that first couple of hours of the day right, i think you'll be in a good position. but yea cultivating hobbies is also important bc we all crave/need purpose in life, and i think a hobby is great way to have that if you're not getting it from career sources.

yeah and like idk if this is more random advice but i think my biggest piece of advice i'd give someone in their gap year is to just kinda take the time to get to know yourself? get to know what gives you energy and excitement or what interests you. i think you can find this out by testing hobbies, reading books, going out and experiencing stuffs. as premeds, i think undergrad can really suck the soul out of you and make you lose touch w yourself w all the pressures and time spent working towards your application, so having that time during your gap year to just kinda chill n recenter yourself is super precious n valuable.

don't worry too much if you're having days where you're resting, but i think the important distinction to make is: are you resting because it's a voluntary action that you want to do, or are you resting because you're putting off other things? asking yourself that question really helps put power back into your hands to improve your day to day, especially when you're struggling to find structure or purpose

hope this helps bb :0 much lovee to ya <3

[astropookie]

a little comment about each stellium 👯‍♀️❤️‍🔥

but im only posting 3 and in reverse order.

Picture from Pinterest

10H: they’re life is their work or it’s around it but it’s the same. They could have had some facilities when it comes to gain a job or opportunities OR -I haven’t seen one but it’s my theory- they have had fight it through all their life to have that reputation and work/ career. Sometimes too much is too much. They can have fixations on politics, they see EVERYTHING with politics. They want power and bc of that they do their research, bc? they want to have control, to manage more fields and more minds, bodies? the thing is that their need is to control. They’re VERY restricted by the image they want to give to others and bc of that they learn a lot about how to treat others in a way it benefits them -to gain more people, more followers-. But they can get lost in what they want and not the real focus, that’s the meaning, why did you started?

11H: They suffer, they just suffer if they don’t feel welcomed, if they don’t feel part of, in a really deep manner. They have a lot of experience when it comes to social groups, community or to be more specific there’s a really hard situation that they haven’t healed in their lives -it made a mark in their lives- and it’ll take them a really long time to even perceive it and to heal it…make your own conclusions 🧍. They NEED to belong, to feel useful, to make society better and what they do when it comes to the last one is to trying to be part of a daily social stuff. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THEY CARE OF WHAT OTHERS THINK, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA. I can tell, at least one time or multiple they have had changed for others, they have had lied to not be left out, they have had done stuff to not be different. They feel alone, they love to be in company but also to have their own time. An excess of energy does the exact opposite of the purpose of the energy. There’s people with 11H stellium, my bestie and mom are one of those, what the last one always told me and that I always ended/end up in opposition is that she care too much about what others think. Too much. Finally, I changed her mindset, a lot comparing of how she acted before. They can be scared to be controversial or they prefer to stay out of it. My bestie also struggles to feel part of the environment she conforms.

12H: I just have to tell you: I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. I do but bc I analyze my environment naturally. They don’t fucking show anything, not even about how they’re feeling. If you’ve read my post “astro observations that I founded in my notes” YES. I’m talking about the same person -the one with pisces rising and taurus moon-. It turned out she also have 12H stellium in whole sign system. I thought I was not that important for her and then she texted me and told me that she missed me -I thought it was just a jk, that she wasn’t serious, she have told me that she missed me before- and then she send me another meme that said practically that “what matter was the friend I made in the course I took and not the course”. In what case I was gonna know about this, if the relationship we had was me talking and joking around and she just listening and acting mad in jk. She told me a lot of stuff that I thought she didn’t tell easily others. I felt I had to do all the effort, that It wasn’t balanced and then boom, she told me that 💥

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.