#for research purposes i will read what i need to and no more bc i know he is a grade a ASS

[univemma]

X-Men movies hyperfixation is doing the rounds in my brain again, as it does every few years and im having a great time. In particular, I'm focused on First Class, more SPECIFICALLY,

I have so many thoughts,,,about movie Alex Summers. Like holy shit, as per every hyperfixation i went digging through any kind of character video, interview, and deleted scene i could find and oh my god there was so much more to him than what made the final cut. And of course that goes for pretty much any movie character, especially adaptations, but oh my god i cannot stop thinking about it and I haven't found ANYONE talking abt ANY OF IT it in my past week scouring the internet of any and ALL Movie!Alex fan content, so I'm losing my mind.

Planning a post about it as we speak because i need to share it with the world. The world does not care about a character from a 2011 xmen movie but I DONT CARE HE MEANS MUCH TO ME.

[themyscirah]

Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this

[axolotlclown]

Would you happen to have some studies to back up the "more than one coffee means you're addicted" thing, please? Pretty sure I've seen that disproven as a lens to understand addiction through at all

~ 🪴

Hey! So sorry I never saw this anon. It never appeared in my notifs and I'm really bad about checking my askbox.

You have asked a question that falls in line with a field I am very passionate about! I found some interesting articles in my school library. I'm going to go ahead and write this response, but I'm still waiting on access to a few journals. I'll have to convert those ones to PDFs as they are likely behind paywalls.

Anyway, here's my long post where I intend to rant about a lot of different barely related topics. Caffeine addiction is one of those really controversial but historically significant subjects in psychology!

So let me start off with how to read and break down a journal. It's one of those things where if you don't go to college and specifically major in a research related field, no one ever teaches you how to do it. That sucks.

So when you're looking at a journal, the first thing you want to do is background check the author. What school did they go to? What degrees do they have? (For research, they should have a Ph.D. no matter what.) What is their current place of employment?

Often companies, or other private businesses, will commission someone to do some research and fudge the results to make that company look better. We saw this recently in regards to gender affirming care. The United States House of Representatives had proposed legislation to restrict gender affirming care for transgender youth. The Republican sponsor of the bill had presented a single piece of research that he claimed was significant. The research found that transition regret rates were somewhere in the 30% range. (I don't remember exactly and I know that I could quickly look it up, but I just spent the past two hours reading addiction research. I'll find it tomorrow.) Upon looking into the author and the sponsors of this research, psychologists found that the journal the congressman presented was commissioned by a conversation therapy center in Florida. The research held obvious bias, poor peer review, and inconclusive results. The bill didn't pass. I'm not sure they even voted on it, actually.

Anyway, this is why we need to be critical of the research we read. Chocolate, wine, caffeine, gender dysphoria, and autism are notorious subjects that require more scrutiny before reading.

So, caffeine addiction. This is a subject that more than one field is interested in. Before you read an article, you need to be sure what question you are asking. Psychologists are concerned with a more scientific or factual approach. In this context, a psychologist would be researching the concrete effects of caffeine on mood, sleep, and other psychological disorders. Sociologists are more concerned with the overall social consequences of caffeine addiction. They would be asking how mood and sleep affected family, work, and personal welfare. For your question, we're going to look into the psychological aspect. Also, I'm studying psychology, not sociology, so I would feel like an idiot answering those types of questions.

This distinction matters. When I opened my school's EBSCOHost database, I simply typed in "caffeine addiction" to start. I was bombarded with sociological articles and journals about the affects of caffeine addiction on productivity at work and on mood. Strange overlap with psychology. Two problems: some of the top articles had researchers with ties to coffee companies, and all "caffeine addicts" were self-reported. For the latter, this meant that there was no standard for how much caffeine was consumed. Rather than being a concrete article about caffeine consumption, it was more of a survey of public opinion. You want to avoid those unless you specifically want to know about the public opinion. Even psychologists run surveys all the time (they're cheap and easy), but people often lie on surveys, even if they're anonymous.

So I typed in more specific key words and came up with these articles. I'll talk about some without leaving a link, but that's because I had to request the PDFs for sharing. I'll come back to this post and link them. (Let me know if the ones I do link are broken.)

Okay, so I'm going to start off with a journal that interested me, personally. This study actually observed the effects of caffeine on psychiatric patients. This is an important reminder that different drugs influence different brains. Someone with ADHD experiences caffeine differently for a neurotypical person. Caffeine is a stimulant, and ADHD medications are stimulants. Cool. What about other disorders?

Here's the Sparknotes of the study, "Caffeine intoxication was more prevalent in psychiatric patients than in healthy subjects. The amount of caffeine intake was shown to be associated positively with the severity of pathology and inversely with sleep quality."

The study goes more into depth about the different psychological disorders that different patients had. There were 401 patients participating in this study (150 healthy individuals). Overall, continuous caffeine intake showed a decline in sleep quality and a general increase in severity of other mental illnesses.

So what causes that? What is caffeine? Here's an article that looks into studies about caffeine consumption and performance, as well as what the causes of an addiction could be and what constitutes an addiction. This is one I recommend giving a read, as it helps to illuminate a common problem with researching intoxicants.

Here's the big take away: "Although caffeine is widely perceived to have beneficial psychostimulant effects, appropriately controlled studies show that its apparent beneficial effects on performance and mood are almost wholly attributed to reversal of the withdrawal effects that occur after fairly short periods of abstinence (e.g. overnight)."

In habitual coffee users, the increase of mood and performance after consumption of caffeine is caused by the removal of withdrawal symptoms. Grouchy mood and lack of coordination are symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. Where one may perceive positive reinforcement for initial consumption, for habitual consumers, withdrawal symptoms become a negative reinforcement.

So, for people that drink coffee everyday, it's less about getting the positive effects of caffeine, but rather avoiding the negative effects of withdrawal. This can be classified as an addiction. There is now a reliance on this substance.

Something this article also points out is that caffeine is not just found in coffee. It's found in chocolate and most medications these days as well. Therefore, complete stone cold abstinence from caffeine can be next to impossible, making control groups difficult to find. This leads to the varying research and controversy between psychologists.

Okay, but coffee can't be as bad as alcohol or anything right? Caffeine is practically harmless! Let's take a look into an article discussing the health impacts of caffeine. (I'll provide the full text to this one tomorrow.)

In Dr. Saimaiti's article titled, "Dietary Sources, Health Benefits, and Risks of Caffeine," she explores the benefits of occasional consumption of caffeine and weighs them against habitual overconsumption of caffeine.

While occasional consumption can actually improve mood and cognitive ability, these benefits are lost with daily consumption.

Few people drink their coffee black. For those that put creamer, milk (especially oat), or straight sugar or syrups in their coffees daily, they may be overconsuming sugar. This is especially hard on an empty stomach. This is part of the reason you "crash" later in the day. The sugar raises your blood sugar. For most healthy people, this may not be the biggest deal in the world. For others, it could be a key factor in developing diabetes later in life. In general, don't drink coffee on an empty stomach. Have it with a meal. It's also easier on your liver.

Speaking of liver, what does your body do with the caffeine after you drink it? Caffeine follows the same principle as alcohol. Occasional consumption of red wine can help thin your blood and lower your hemoglobin (something that women may be more concerned about as they get older). However, daily consumption of wine can cause stress on the liver and potentially lead to dementia later in life (I say potentially because there has been a correlation, but no solid research as to why. While correlation does not always mean causation, it's important to acknowledge them in the meantime.)

Caffeine behaves in the same way. Continuous consumption of caffeine can put some real stress on your liver over time.

Caffeine is dangerous for those with cardiovascular problems. While this seems like a "duh!" point, many people don't know that they may be prone to cardiovascular issues until an event happens. This sounds like fear mongering, but it's something to take into account.

The article discusses pregnant women as well, but I would hope that's intuitive? Maybe not? If you're pregnant you should avoid intoxication in all forms.

I'll drop this quote from the conclusion of the article for now (I felt weird quoting text that you can't access yet, so I'll come back with more quotes when I can give you the PDF): "the long-term or over-consumption of caffeine can lead to addiction, insomnia, migraine, and other side effects."

The point is, caffeine consumption can be more dangerous to some than others in general, but excessive consumption with lack of knowledge can lead to long-term damage to one's health.

Okay, that study talks about a relatively small niche. Let's get broad. Let's talk about sleep and cognitive performance. (Another study I'll have the PDF for tomorrow.)

In Dr. Gottselig's article titled, "Random Number Generation During Sleep Deprivation: Effects of Caffeine on Response Maintenance and Stereotypy," she looks at the effects caffeine has on cognitive performance during sleep deprivation.

The conclusions of this research makes a very important point: "caffeine preserves simple aspects of cognitive performance during sleep deprivation, whereas caffeine may not prevent detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on some complex cognitive functions."

This article particularly found that while small cognitive functions such as motor ability improved with caffeine, complex cognitive functions such as problem solving and memory declined.

While a college student could read this and understand that pulling an all nighter and drinking 10 Red Bulls probably won't help them pass their test, there's something much more to be said about these findings.

One sleep deprived night won't kill you, and certainly drinking a cup of coffee to get you through the day won't either. But caffeine cannot prevent the damage that regular sleep deprivation does. Sleep deprivation leads to memory loss, worsening symptoms of depression/anxiety/ADHD, increased chances of developing dementia early (this one is real), and a decline in overall cognitive ability.

Rough. But it is a trap. If you have insomnia, caffeine may feel like your only choice to be somewhat functioning throughout the day. Caffeine promotes symptoms of insomnia. It's a vicious cycle if you can't afford proper treatment, and one, that I hope, that will be addressed with time.

So if you have the ability, it's better to prioritize a good night's sleep. I'll come back to this.

For now, why is caffeine addiction so controversial then? Well, it may not be for long. While there was a push to add "caffeine" to the list of diagnosable addiction in the DSM since the 1980's, the inconsistent and inconclusive research has led to a standstill. As we say with Dr. Jame's article, it is difficult to get a control group for caffeine. However, as research for alcohol and marijuana progresses, our knowledge of how to properly study intoxicants does as well.

The long-term health side effects of caffeine are still being studied as well. While this aspect isn't unique to caffeine at all (marijuana, for example, is just now getting approved for research, where before it was illegal), it's still worth acknowledging what we do know, for now at least.

So, coming back to the DSM. There's a new one coming out pretty soon. It's the talk of the town among psychologists right now. Everyone is arguing about what should be in the DSM-6. It'll be crazy when it does come out. Autism, OCD, Gender Dysphoria, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Facial Dysmorphia are just a few examples of disorders that will likely be completely recategorized.

(Unrelated, but Autism Spectrum Disorder is a big one because a lot of psychologists are arguing that it shouldn't be classified as a disorder at all. The reason being is that Autism is so common, that psychologists are theorizing that the majority of the population falls on the spectrum somewhere. Either way, the diagnosis is about to completely change because of this fact.) (Well, all of them are big ones. I could make a whole separate post about it.)

Anyway, the push to make caffeine diagnosable is becoming a promising endeavor as research continues to come out.

One psychiatrist pushing for this is Ronald Griffiths. In his opinion piece, Griffiths recalls his patients experiencing caffeine withdrawal symptoms that led to a decline in the quality of life. One of his patients was diagnosed with breast cancer and needed to stop drinking coffee immediately. This patient struggled with severe withdrawal symptoms that were difficult to manage while on cancer treatment.

Griffiths explains how difficult it was to treat this patient because it wasn't something he could easily diagnose with the DSM-5, something insurance companies use to decide whether they're going to pay for care or not. Add on the bills for cancer treatment, and you rapidly have a distressing situation on your hands.

Joseph DeRupo, spokesman for the National Coffee Association in the U.S. as quoted in this article states, "What we have here is really the opinion of one scientist who is a lone voice against the accepted view of the scientific community."

Lone voice? In barely an hour I was able to find 5 credible articles, all backed by credible researchers, supporting the understanding that American society consumes too much caffeine. You can take a General Psych class in college and the textbook would spend half a chapter going over caffeine addiction and the controversial research around it. Coffee companies piss me off. And most companies use slave labor to harvest their beans and lobby to prevent legislation to prevent it. Guillotine.

Griffiths also claims that "[e]ven people who consume as little as 100 milligrams of caffeine a day—the equivalent of one small cup of coffee—can become physically dependent."

So this ask is pretty old, but I'm guessing it was in response to me saying that you should only drink one cup of a random beverage a day and the rest be water. This keeps you hydrated and helps cut out where the majority of your sugar intake is. I called it the "desert beverage" and that "coffee counts."

It really does. In the morning, one feels tired, foggy, and grouchy. "Don't talk to me until I've had my morning coffee." They would make their coffee out of habit, barely minding the taste of it—drinking to medicate the headache they've already caused.

Life is worth celebrating, and if we can find little things in our day to celebrate, we should! When coffee becomes a habit, it's just a habit. That's sad.

I worked as a barista for a while at a coffee shop that hired people with intellectual disabilities. That experience is what made me switch my major to psychology in the first place. But I saw the joys coffee could bring, and the damage it can do, too. I had a coworker who would come in and throw a tantrum if we didn't immediately stop what we were doing and make him a coffee—and again in two hours before the end of his shift. It's upsetting.

I do remember the joys, too. Our manager would show us a new niche coffee drink from a random country. We would make cubanos like they would in Haiti and talk about the different names they had in different countries around the world. It ruled.

I don't drink coffee every day anymore. But it's always a wonderful thing when I do. You don't need to have an "excuse" to drink a cup of coffee—you don't need to celebrate anything at all. Coffee, tea, wine, soda, and juice should be celebrated as they are. Drinking them out of habit destroys joy. Intentional habits create stable foundations in life. Unintentional habits create monotony and boredom.

Anyway, the sleep thing I said I'd come back to. So if you're having trouble sleeping, here's the hot tip: avoid screens 30 minutes before going to bed. That sounds easy, but how many of us scroll our phones, watch TV, or play a video game right before bed? It's not worth it.

Instead, do something away from your phone that you enjoy. I like to read, but you can draw, journal, listen to some music, practice an instrument, or write something. Doesn't matter, just don't use your phone or laptop. Set a 30 minute timer for time.

If you're still struggling to sleep, you may find meditation useful. Meditation uses techniques that make your brain send beta waves which relaxes you and is the first step to falling asleep. But! If you try to learn some meditation, you'll have to commit to practicing it every night for it to be useful. It's a skill that requires practice.

Anyway, I could make a whole separate post about evening/morning/afternoon routines as that is another one of my passions, but yeah.

TLDR; An occasional cup of coffee is actually great and wonderful, but you really shouldn't drink it every day, especially more than once a day.

PS. I love Red Bull cream sodas more than the God that created them, I swear, but I only drink maybe one or two energy drinks a year. Energy drinks will dissolve your liver faster than hydrochloric acid can. An alcoholic drinking 5 packs of beers a day will look at your liver and be impressed. Also the Panera lemonade should be illegal. That shit is CRAZY. That bitch had more caffeine than a Bang energy drink. It literally killed a man. Wild.

[raainberry]

Cross The Line (Prologue)

« Doing something outside the bounds of acceptable behavior. »

Mina x gn!reader

synopsis - being a regular at urgent care raises suspicions but apparently also temperatures which results in the blurring of a few lines

wordcount - 1.5K

T/W - mentions of diverse injuries, stitches, and the hospital obviously. resident!mina, patient!reader angst but also fluff that’s not really fluff bc its just angst disguised as fluff. yearning if you will.

A/N - i made my research after writing🧍‍♀️girlie is NOT supposed to be alone with the patient but oh well. we’re here for the plot. happy mina day to all who celebrate!!

Mina’s movements were calculated. Precise, and accurate. She never let any room for the unexpected. It was too dangerous.

Her attention was consumed by the monitors, checking and writing down any anomalies she deemed important enough ahead of your transfer to a surgical unit. You’d come in with an open wound on your cheekbone, and pain in your arm which she quickly found out was a fracture in need of surgery.

She was known to be effective, eyes sharp and catching any detail that dared try and escape her. Like how your heartrate slightly increased on the monitor when she came in earlier, or the way you looked at her whenever you landed in the building.

She tried to ignore the familiar sense of déjà-vu washing over her, but her questions kept increasing in number. She never knew the reason behind your visits, but the nature of your injuries gave her a few clues. A broken nose, scratches, cuts and open wounds, hematomas… Five visits in the past two years, an unusual average, enough to leave an imprint on any Resident.

Something about you was odd. It pulled at a curiosity she’d vowed to ignore unless in name of the patient’s wellbeing, and you were especially good at tempting her.

For whatever reason, she was the one assigned to your case for every one of your visits. A twist of fate maybe. She’d call it incredible bad luck if she hadn’t grown that damn soft spot.

As frustrating as tending to you could be, the hours it took to do so allowed her to get a glimpse of the person behind the entire Unit’s favorite gossip column. Though that glimpse remained very surface leveled.

You were incredibly hard to read through your blatent lies, and it scared her. It made her see through herself more than she probably ever could you.

In short, she was attracted to you.

“What are you thinking about?” Your voice was soft despite the slight rasp in your throat. It almost made her forget about her surroundings.

“Nothing.” She cleared her throat, tearing her eyes away from your figure as fast as she’d found it.

You chuckled, your mind a little fuzzy from the local anesthesia. “Come on, we’re past that.”

Her fingers halted their motion against the clipboard in her hands, something you barely noticed but still had the strength to smirk at. It wasn’t hard getting a reaction from her, but it was hard to catch it.

You smiled to yourself, closing your eyes as the effects of the anesthesia lingered. That was something you usually kept to yourself, and Mina’s attention didn’t fail to catch that detail either.

"You know, it’s getting hard to believe you're not getting hurt on purpose." She sighed, pushing her glasses back up her nose.

"I would never break a bone on purpose.” You mumbled, wincing slightly as you adjusted yourself on the examination table. “Hurts like hell…"

"Thought you'd be a little tougher," Mina remarked in a tone that pushed your eyes open.

It was colder than you were used to. Icy and slippery.

"Yeah, well… we all have our limits, Mina." You replied quietly.

"It's still Dr. Myoui to you.”

You nodded, pursing your lips apologetically. The words would have pulled a laugh out of you if they’d ever come out of anyone else’s chest, but you knew better around her.

"What happened this time?" She asked, and the question surprised you. A glance at her eyes, now on you only out of respect, and you found out it wasn’t her own will.

Don’t be difficult, they begged. So you played along.

"Fell off a skateboard," You responded with as casual of a demeanor as you could.

She stared at you in silence, leaving you a few custom seconds to see if you'd tell her the truth this time. Instead, you offered her your best smile, and she had to hold her own back. "Do you even have a skateboard?"

"Do you need that information to treat me?"

"Just wondering."

"You seem to do that a lot…" You trailed off, leaving the words hanging in the air.

Mina left that as the last of them to be spoken for a long while, turning her focus onto some more medical nonsense you could never decipher to save your life.

Maybe that’s why your eyes always landed on her.

She could feel them, following her every move around the room, and it was hard not to meet them.

A silence you were used to settled, the quiet hum of the room fading into the tension hanging in the air.

You feigned interest in your hospital bracelet to escape it, but the sight of your own name made you look away from it. The blank ceiling was enough to distract you, but only for a moment.

Not staring at her was an effort you struggled to make even with a sound mind. The first time you’d seen her, it took you a full minute to blink. It had pulled a smile out of her, and the words she used to point it out echoed in a blurry memory.

How safe you felt in her hands that night, you sought the feeling ever since. In vain.

Your gaze bore into her, merciless against the composure she desperately tried to hold on to. Each of your visits tested it in a way she had yet to see. To feel. She would resent you if she doubted your intentions. If she doubted her own.

"How long until it's not anymore?" Your voice broke the silence, startling Mina into meeting your eyes again.

This anesthesia seemed to guide you into an uncharted territory, where the boundaries of her professionalism blurred, seeping through her fingers with your every word.

She seemed lost in the place your words had suddenly lured her into, so you offered some guidance.

"How long until I can call you Mina?"

The question lingered in the air, pulling at the veil you’d draped over your desires.

It seemed you were close to baring them, Mina exposing a glimpse with a soft bite on her bottom lip.

You’d sculpted a fragile bridge. Cracked and vulnerable to the slightest movement. You enjoyed dancing around it, but one wrong step and it all comes crumbling down.

Mina hesitated, eyes avoidant and voice soft as she stepped forward. "Maybe once you don't get hurt anymore," she murmured.

This wasn’t the first dance she invited you to. It was rare, you weren’t used to it, but you’d rehearsed enough to guide yourselves through it.

“You know, I'd love to see you somewhere else. Outside these walls, preferably," You confessed in a whisper, wary of the thin curtains separating you from the bustling building.

Those almost slipped her mind. You could tell by the silence that followed.

She put her clipboard on a free space of the table, far enough away to keep it from becoming an obstacle. Her hands reached for your injured cheekbone, carefully examining the cut she’d stitched moments ago.

A breath caught in your throat at the touch and attention, long enough to bring a few changes to the data displayed on the screen not too far from you. A change she didn’t fail to notice yet again as she went to retrieve her notes.

A quiet laugh escaped her lips, catching you off guard. You could only watch her write down whatever conclusions she’d pulled out of her observations, waiting to see if it was safe to carry on.

“Do you feel any pain?” She asked.

“Uhm...” You hummed, focusing in order to identify any pain other than the one in your heart. “Slightly. Now that you mention it.”

Mina nodded and carried on with a bunch of questions about your well-being. You answered all of them honestly, words leaving your mouth without much thought.

“Do you feel lightheaded? Any dizziness?”

“No.”

“Are you feeling thirsty, or hungry?”

“A little thirsty.”

“Can you tell me your name and where you are right now?”

“My name is Y/n, and I’m in… at the urgent care.”

"Where would you like to see me?"

Her voice had dropped a couple decibels on that one. It took a few more seconds for you to sink it in and match an answer.

"Somewhere a little more… colorful?”

Wait…

Your eyes left the spot they’d blankly focused on on the floor to find hers still ignoring you.

“I mean… I don't know, I didn't think that far," you admitted, complying to her silent wishes.

Mina let a smile slip, a rare sight that let you peek at the depth of her feelings, and her thoughts allowed her to fantasize about the world outside. The one she could share with you. "That would be nice," she admitted softly.

Your smile mirrored her own, "So… Is that a yes?" you probed, and she chuckled, ignoring your question once more as she wrapped up her duties.

Just then, a couple nurses stepped into the room, asking Mina to take you away for the transfer you were long past due for.

Your arm was in a far worse state than your face. Or your heart.

"See you in three months, Y/n.”

-

part.2

[catboybiologist]

Do you see a future where we can give a trans person a shot and have their body start making the correct sex hormones (eg testes change to make E, or ovaries change to make T)? How far off? What things need to be accomplished to achieve it, and what tools do we already have?

Disclaimer that none of this is gonna be all that scientifically robust, the terms used are gonna be descriptive rather than technical, and that I'm just woke up and these are the ravings of a woman gone mad.

A single shot is ambitious, but I could see a course of several months or a couple years that, after those several months, lasts a lifetime.

How far off? I mean, wildly dependent on funding and focus. Unfortunately, nothing related to trans healthcare is gonna see a serious push I would think. With an actual, serious push, I would give it a few decades of research (if that)(this is blisteringly fast btw) until it's punted over to the FDA. At that point it's outside of my knowledge to know how far things would move forward.

But honestly, it's part politics, part luck of the draw on what people research and push forward. Might happen in our lifetime, but don't hold your breath. Research is grindingly slow.

This is mostly based around the possibility of inducing transdifferentiation. Tldr:

-stem cells are exciting bc they can become any cell type. They haven't "locked in" their cell fate yet.

-most research on cellular differentiation centers around deprogrammed differentiated cells, reverting them to stem cells, and then reprogramming them into something else. The deprogramming is actually well studied (shoutout Yamanaka factors) but I don't see something like this reaching a medicinal, in vivo use soon.

-in extremely rare and induced cases, however, you can force a fully differentiated cell type to become another fully differentiated cell type *without* that intermediate. This is likely way easier to pull off in vivo, even though the initial molecular triggers are much, much rarer and more difficult to study.

Which brings us to the two theoretical dots that we can use here: prostatic metioplasias as a result of testosterone (for transmascs) and the role of DMRT1 for transfemmes.

Broad tldr of each of these points:

-there was a study that studied vaginal lining of transmascs who had been on T for several years and gotten hysterectomies. They found some prostate tissue intercalating the vagina.

-removal of a particular gene (DMRT1) allowed testes to slowly become ovarian tissue and produce estrogens. This gene is responsible for maintaining testes cell fate- keeping the lock, locked.

Neither of these provides a direct basis for actual medication. They show avenues for what will work, however. What's necessary here is to understand the upstream signals that control the expression of genes like DMRT1, which can then be exploited to force expression or stop expression in vivo, in a human.

Basically, the way transdifferentiation would work here is blasting the appropriate cells with enough of these signals, over enough time to ensure that everything actually undergoes TD, to reprogram everything you want to reprogram.

(yes, I know about the crispr transfemme who targeted DMRT1. No, I don't think that's real. I've posted about that before.)

You don't have to bother reading these, but here's the primary sources I'm talking about for anyone interested:

[andromeddog]

Do you have any tips for drawing soldiers uniforms?

hi anon! really really long, really really rambling answer for u below the cut <3

i have many thoughts! ig the first thing is, what are your intentions with what you want to draw? are you going for complete accuracy, or is it more of a vibe situation? bc you don’t always need to be perfectly precise with uniforms, sometimes just suggesting what’s there is enough. being completely 100% with them can sometimes be distracting or unnecessary…

LIKE HERE FOR EXAMPLE….. in the snafu piece i kind of only hinted at what he was wearing… the belt, the pants, theyre really all over the place. but that’s not what’s important here or what i was trying to depict, so that’s okay! u want to see snaf being crazy, which i got more w shading and color. whereas in the piece w speirs, being precise in what he’s wearing lends itself to the war dog intensity of the whole guy. he wears that helmet proudly and holds tightly to the strap of his gun, very much IN his uniform in this moment

(do i think either of these r successful? idk. looking back on the work ive made and viewing them as complete “””””art”””””””” pieces is wack. am i in art school again. these certainly are drawings, let’s just assume they are worthy of this sort of analysis and that for sake of argument are “successful”)

buuuuuuut u can also go too crazy with pinpoint accuracy haha. like this pic? maybe it was just bc i was using a monoline brush but there was literally no reason to draw every single fold. it makes this drawing incredibly busy and unpleasant to look at. i think im just obsessive and get too invested in the details and miss the forest for the trees. so u get shit garbage like this sometimes, but that’s a me problem. i would just keep an eye on what the purpose of the drawing is!

if it’s accuracy ur going for (which i usually am) then reference is your best friend. look in different places for them, collect them, caress them like a lover, they are very important. after u look at soldiers a lot u can kind of get a feel for how specific uniforms sit on them (watching shows, movies, hell even gifsets if u r extra online like me) but that varies for whatever era ur trying to draw! spending time researching is kind of a big part of the process haha. be willing to scroll through lots of pics and lots of sources, if ur really dedicated to the cause then maybe buy some reference books!

in general i find uniforms are practical, durable, and layered for utility. everything has a purpose, those fifty straps going cross body are usually attached to fifty pouches, each with their own functional use. understanding the different parts of a uniform, their uses, the WHY of an items inclusion helps build the whole look in ur head and translates to the drawing. uniforms are bulkier than i initially expected bc they are meant to fit as many ppl as possible and typically have little to no tailoring (if we’re talking ww2. ww1 was all over the place w uniforms, especially officers, but that’s another ramble for another friday night). each era and each country and sometimes even each soldier’s uniform has its own little quirks. that’s what’s so appealing about research and drawing them for me! isn’t it neat how ppl’s individual preferences shine through even when they all have to wear the exact same thing!!!!

did any of this help at all??? i am chronically incapable of keeping things succinct! but if u read all of this thank you! i love u 🦆✨

[yichens]

Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 4: Kenta & Kim

Jack of Diamonds: Focuses on fulfilling his duty. Hard to change; in both mind and heart. Seven of Clubs: Standing up for what is right. Going against the current and making a difference.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 4 prompts: kenta & kim

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

i'm quite amused by the fact that kenta and kim ended up with cards that are opposites of each other: other one is bound to oneself while the other connects more to people around (or above) them. yet in their differences, they're also quite similar – two sides of the same coin, i might say.

kenta: jack of diamonds is an ironic choice for kenta, i have to admit that. in general, diamonds are connected – amongst other things – to wealth, possessions, and independence. ironically, kenta lacks all of these things. he isn't rich on anything, doesn't own anything. not even his own self belongs to him bc he gave up his mind and body a long time ago (and his heart? i think it died throughout his childhood as he became the weapon tony needed him to be. tho others might say it's only buried deep and is still beating despite, or in spite, of it all).

but the jack of diamonds as one of the diamond cards isn't really about money or property. it's about loyalty and devotion, about striving for perfection and fulfilling your duty. a jack of diamonds is a hard worker, dedicated to a fault, stubborn as a mule, and so very hard to change bc of that. making them come around and change their mind is frustrating bc they don't want to admit they're wrong. and well, kenta might be aware of the fact that what he's doing is wrong, but. what other purpose does he have? he owes this much to his "father" (read: owner). the abuse disguised as love might be painful to take at times but does he really deserve anything more? ("yes," answer pete and kim, vehemently, above everyone else. "no," whispers kenta's own mind, black with tony's poison.)

kim: where kenta avoids change and doesn't believe he's capable of making things better for others bc he's simply not that strong, kim is the opposite. he has clear principles and he's unwilling to give those up for anything. he cannot stand watching what tony is doing after learning about his crimes. he stands up for justice, for the mistreated children under tony's care, for his career and talent, and most of all, for himself. he will not bend into anyone's will – hell, he'd rather die than let that happen as he proves by comforting tony in his own home about his misdeeds which really requires some huge balls from this guy. (sorry kim, i might love you but what were you even thinking???)

seven of clubs is a card that is about taking a stance and going against something you find wrong. it is about resistance bc you're so convinced that what you think or do is the right thing. it is about change – about forcing change to happen bc things cannot continue the way they are. and this is all truly what kim represents: conviction, sense of justice, and believing in your own capability and skills. some might see him a bit arrogant, too, but i think it's one of his best qualities that he's confident and knows exactly where he stands, what he wants, and what he deserves.

as a couple, i've already said it: kenta and kim are two sides of the same coin. that's what makes them clash but also work together. kim questions why kenta is doing what he is doing while also showing how strong he can be when he believes in himself and his principles. that affects kenta enough to make him break out of his cage – slowly, one broken rule at a time, but still. eventually, he picks up that knife and kills the final beast. he is free or left adrift, i don't really know. but at least, he's found another duty and has accepted change as the necessary evil. no more hurting innocents. something can be stronger than tony (other ppl's devotion to each other, perhaps? kenta isn't sure but i hope he figures it out.)

(an additional note of this edit: i think it's fitting that kenta's pic is more on the dark side, while kim's is brighter/has brighter yellow tones. kenta is the shadow while kim is the light etc. etc. you know what i mean)

[ganondoodle]

totk rewritten (for me, specifically)

since i dont have time to get to drawing it right away AND im worried people might take this the wrong way, i thought i could write out some bullet points about my rewrite of totk (meant as a fix FOR ME not saying its inherently better) to give you a better idea on what im going for:

the core structure largely remains the same, the biggest change is no time travel, thus making zelda your travel companion, and zonau tech being lagerly gone/broken with shiekah tech instead

it is not shown but said in dialog that shiekah tech, such as the ancient furnaces, shrines and towers are either turning off or have flickering power supply and purah having calculated that all their connections point towards beneath hyrule castle

game starts pretty much the same as real totk, most zonau ruins are so withered away that they are barely recognizable and the further you get down theres more and more shiekah tech pipes and occasional a miasma vein, some pipes are broken and spill miasma, others flicker

instead of the room with the wall carvings theres one with old ancient shiekah research remains, old broken tech and prototypes you dont what their purpose was, all documents are too withered to read but zelda finds one that was sealed in a container and takes it with her (she got a backpack now)

theres a structure similar to the bed thingy of the shrine of life from botw but its working in reverse; within it is sealed ganondorf (i gotta work out the details around it still)

(details still missing) it breaks and zelda takes the enigma stone but doesnt touch it directly and puts it within a sealed container (you know kinda like you should do with soemthing you have no idea of what it is and was alsO LOCATED ON A CORPSE)

ganondorf isnt the elegantly talking villain type in this version but more of a mess, talking in different languages both modern and ancient but you cant make out any clear sentences, struggeling with suddendly being awake and half alive after spending thousands of years in an agonizing limbo, having witnessed every second of the passage of time yet also it feeling like everything just happened all at the same time

the ground breaks as he recognizes zelda (bc of her fighting calamity ganon in botw) but also not really, still sees her as a threat (also bc of the enigma stone in the container she still has in her hand) attacks her, link deflects with the master sword, it breaks and damages his arm, zelda drops her torch and pulls link away towards where they came in from and both run as the caves fill up with miasma like a flood with arms starting to reach after them while they both run back through the tunnels (creepy chase sequence anyone?)

cataclysm happens (ground breaks, miasma bursts out of the ground, especially where shrines and towers where since they were still connected to the pipelines) ground shifts massively in some places giving alot of the map a whole new structure; all shiekah tech that was not independent stops working due to power loss

links arm is amputated since otherwise the miasma would spread to his whole body; purah, robbie and zelda work out a prosthetic arm prototype to give to link (protoype at first will be upgraded at halfway point of the game) that can switch between multiple modes, like a hand to hold normal items or a weapon that isnt crafted, and a fusing ability (though maybe limited in the prototype) that lets you make weapons similar to the weapon fusing in canon totk (potential upgrades including an extendable guardian arm that doesnt break, grapple hook anyone??, also the ability to build stuff out of shiekah tech parts, not glue needed you actually screw it together, maybe zelda even helps)

now you are given free roam of hyrule, the goal is to explore and find what has changed and check on people, see what the underground has, new monsters have spawned etc.

zelda is your companion the whole time, she can use the shiekah stone/purah pad to analyze enemies for you, she also carries at least a dagger for her own self defense but doesnt contribute much to the fight (subject to change maybe), you can talk to her anytime and she usually has something to comment on depending on where you are or what you just did, can give you tips and advice IF ASKED FOR IT, when you discover ancient ruins, whether zonau or shiekah, she can either decipher it for you or take photos for later to find out more about everything that has happend and what it means, she also takes part in conversations when you talk to someone, her outfit changes with yours (meaning when you wear the tingle set she wears it too, opens up alot of funny interactions njfkdk)

purah has built new towers but they function different (still working on the details) mainly that they function independent from the energy source in hyrule castle

there are floating islands but they are bigger and in more connected clusters, when reaching them its ancient withered ruins that the ancient shiekah built support around (like the platform used by monk miz kyoshia) to keep them afloat; there are building like observatories and research labs, but all very overgrown due to being up there for so long, theres a titan prototype on one of the islands, its shaped like a whale and zelda deciphers it was called vah narisha (reference to the whale deity in skyward sword) (i havent decided yet if its fully broken and just a big piece of enviroment to explore or half functioning floating around, or maybe first broken but later half repaired so it can fly around at least giving you an easier way to reach other island, you cant steer it tho) some of them are falling bc of energy loss but the bigger ones have independent energy sources (work in progress)

the underground has more diverse zones depending on which part of the map it is located on, there are old mines (for luminous stone) from the zonau but all is extremely withered, in each one its been mostly built over by the shiekah but there are construct remains that were clearly dissected and studied, half built shrines and towers, you can find collectibles and lore there (working on more details, but an idea was to include remains of ancient shiekah tha fled there when they were persecuted by that old king of hyrule, adding to the eery vibe)

some titans (maybe two, and the other are still on the sruface, like vah medoh) feel down during the cataclysm, broken apart or malfunctioning/ possibly being a boss as in they were used by a big cluster of miasma hands like a hermit crab uses its shell, the inside filled with eyes and different sized hands dragging itself towards you like a drowing man grabs after anything to save him)

dongos are your go to transportation here and a little different, when you call one they dig a path to you (not permanent, just so they can always spawn near you) they glow in the dark and can climb on walls (bc why not), and can point you towards the next objective/point of interest, likely where theres a high concentration of luminous stone since that is what they eat and its usually where old mining/construction sites are (still working on a replacement for light roots that are less invasive)

the rat from the trailer is a miniboss/boss you need to defeat in order to get the broken mastersword back into your possession

(im still working on how the sages work, but the idea is to incorporate their abilites for more efficient and reliable use into links shiekah prosthetic, so you can still use their abilities but only when you actually want)

(again still working on details) halfway point of the game is you trying to find out where ganondorf went, not intending to fight necessarily but just to find out more but it devolves into you fighting some sort of miasma monster (either him or some sort of manifestation he made) and you get a bunch of short memory flashes from him, all vague and a wild mess from both the time he was sealed and from the time afterwards, maybe even a perspective shift from when link was fighting dark beast ganon, but from ganons view, from zelda when she was keeping that manifestation in check, random views from the malice eyes from botw, from the blights, maybe even from the fight with the old and new champions, from the point when shiekah built their tech around him while he had to watch not able to do anything etc.)

links arm gets upgraded from prototype to a full prosthetic, opening up more fusing abilites and other things (like the grapple hook, again working on it, im open for ideas lol)

i will reblog this and add more over time if you want, but do let me know if you like it thus far, bc im still unsure if its worth the effort of working more on this QnQ

(also if you dont like just keep scrolling, i dont need to know that you hate it, it literally changes nothing but make me annoyed xD)

[celestie0]

hi pookie! unrelated to fanfic but i think you were in a gap year earlier and now ur bio says ur a med student. did u get into med school? if so, congrats!!!

actually i'm also in a gap yr and i was wondering how you made sure to be productive every day? like im literally rotting in bed every day lmao bc my day has no structure. sorry if this is too personal and if it is feel free to ignore!!

hiii my love yes i did!! i graduated last year in june n then started med school a few weeks ago :)

oh that's awesomee first of all congratulations on graduating!! that's a wonderful accomplishment. i'm assuming it's only been a couple months since you've graduated? there's no harm at all in taking a break

but yea i think the straightforward answer haha: probably working a job will give you the most structure. i worked full time at a clinic that was a little further away from my house so it ended up eating up a lot of my weekdays (leave house at 7am come home at 6pm type thing) but it was great for the structure and purpose. if you're not feeling like you can work a full time job, then you can work part time too. i left my full time job and started working at a research lab part time and it was a really nice balance of structure to rest before starting school

i'm not sure what your circumstances are, or if working is in your capacities at the moment, but yea like whether you're currently job hunting (i know how bad the job market can be ahhh) or if you're studying for the mcat or whatever you're doing in your gap year, i think the best way to have structure without work is cultivate a good morning routine and cultivate your hobbies. i found most days i would wake up at 6am i'd have much more productive days than days where i'd sleep in to 9/10am and then i'd just feel awful and rot in bed the rest of the day haha. so if you can just get that first couple of hours of the day right, i think you'll be in a good position. but yea cultivating hobbies is also important bc we all crave/need purpose in life, and i think a hobby is great way to have that if you're not getting it from career sources.

yeah and like idk if this is more random advice but i think my biggest piece of advice i'd give someone in their gap year is to just kinda take the time to get to know yourself? get to know what gives you energy and excitement or what interests you. i think you can find this out by testing hobbies, reading books, going out and experiencing stuffs. as premeds, i think undergrad can really suck the soul out of you and make you lose touch w yourself w all the pressures and time spent working towards your application, so having that time during your gap year to just kinda chill n recenter yourself is super precious n valuable.

don't worry too much if you're having days where you're resting, but i think the important distinction to make is: are you resting because it's a voluntary action that you want to do, or are you resting because you're putting off other things? asking yourself that question really helps put power back into your hands to improve your day to day, especially when you're struggling to find structure or purpose

hope this helps bb :0 much lovee to ya <3

[astropookie]

a little comment about each stellium 👯‍♀️❤️‍🔥

but im only posting 3 and in reverse order.

Picture from Pinterest

10H: they’re life is their work or it’s around it but it’s the same. They could have had some facilities when it comes to gain a job or opportunities OR -I haven’t seen one but it’s my theory- they have had fight it through all their life to have that reputation and work/ career. Sometimes too much is too much. They can have fixations on politics, they see EVERYTHING with politics. They want power and bc of that they do their research, bc? they want to have control, to manage more fields and more minds, bodies? the thing is that their need is to control. They’re VERY restricted by the image they want to give to others and bc of that they learn a lot about how to treat others in a way it benefits them -to gain more people, more followers-. But they can get lost in what they want and not the real focus, that’s the meaning, why did you started?

11H: They suffer, they just suffer if they don’t feel welcomed, if they don’t feel part of, in a really deep manner. They have a lot of experience when it comes to social groups, community or to be more specific there’s a really hard situation that they haven’t healed in their lives -it made a mark in their lives- and it’ll take them a really long time to even perceive it and to heal it…make your own conclusions 🧍. They NEED to belong, to feel useful, to make society better and what they do when it comes to the last one is to trying to be part of a daily social stuff. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THEY CARE OF WHAT OTHERS THINK, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA. I can tell, at least one time or multiple they have had changed for others, they have had lied to not be left out, they have had done stuff to not be different. They feel alone, they love to be in company but also to have their own time. An excess of energy does the exact opposite of the purpose of the energy. There’s people with 11H stellium, my bestie and mom are one of those, what the last one always told me and that I always ended/end up in opposition is that she care too much about what others think. Too much. Finally, I changed her mindset, a lot comparing of how she acted before. They can be scared to be controversial or they prefer to stay out of it. My bestie also struggles to feel part of the environment she conforms.

12H: I just have to tell you: I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. I do but bc I analyze my environment naturally. They don’t fucking show anything, not even about how they’re feeling. If you’ve read my post “astro observations that I founded in my notes” YES. I’m talking about the same person -the one with pisces rising and taurus moon-. It turned out she also have 12H stellium in whole sign system. I thought I was not that important for her and then she texted me and told me that she missed me -I thought it was just a jk, that she wasn’t serious, she have told me that she missed me before- and then she send me another meme that said practically that “what matter was the friend I made in the course I took and not the course”. In what case I was gonna know about this, if the relationship we had was me talking and joking around and she just listening and acting mad in jk. She told me a lot of stuff that I thought she didn’t tell easily others. I felt I had to do all the effort, that It wasn’t balanced and then boom, she told me that 💥

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[cosmic-lullaby]

I’ve had some thoughts

So upon re-watching some scenes from Wednesday for fic research, I came to a realization. In episode 3, Wednesday wants to investigate the old pilgrim meeting house and asks Tyler where it is. He tells her, then offers to go with her, which she declines.

Now, obvious after Wednesday has her vision she wakes up and is jump-scared by Tyler / Hyde but like....why did he follow her there? There’s nothing (in my memory anyway) of any incriminating evidence against Tyler or Laurel or clues at the meeting house. So why would he follow her there?

BECAUSE DEAR READERS, when Wednesday was leaving, Tyler made a point to mention that the meeting house was a ruin, and kind of sketchy. Literally the ONLY REASON I can glean as to why he followed her there was to make sure she’d be safe. NOT TO MENTION he (adorably) mentioned how she was becoming ‘obsessed with this monster in the woods’. So why wouldn’t he go there as the Hyde to impress her? He certainly wasn’t there to kill anyone (oh yeah, and the old guy that harassed her he kills next? Tyler, honey, you’re not subtle.)

BUT ALSO, as Wednesday’s chasing after him in the rain, she comes across the footprints, very clearly changing back to human. Why leave such an obvious clue? Why change back at all? Running around naked in the rain CANNOT be comfortable? Why leave such a MAJOR clue like that the monster was human? Because Tyler was purposely leaving her clues. In whatever way he could, he was trying to tell her what was happening. WHY ELSE WOULD HE FOLLOW HER OUT THERE AND LEAVE FOOTPRINTS THERE’S NO OTHER REASON FOR HIM TO BE OUT THERE WITH HER THERE WAS NO OTHER PHYSICAL EVIDENCE FOR HER TO FIND

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

During the confession scene at the police station, obviously Tyler’s warning of ‘you have no idea what’s coming’. WHY WOULD HE TELL HER THAT IF HE WASN’T TRYING TO WARN HER. Wednesday thought Kinbott was Gates, and was DEAD. WHY GIVE HER SUCH AN OBVIOUS WARNING AND CLUE THAT SHE WASN’T DEAD LIKE BOY WAS EITHER ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE AT BEING EVIL OR WAS ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE AND TRYING TO WARN HER IN EVERY WAY HE COULD GUESS WHICH ONE I’M STANDING BY

(look I know this arguably happened bc plot needs to happen. I'm reading too much into it. I don't care. I am having the time of my life. please join me in my insanity)

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

ok before I tweak out and forget how to words:

your writing of quinns character is phenomenal.

this is what I thought quinn was going to be like in the cannon. Give me someone who's absolutely bat shit CRAZY. someone that would warrant this level of fear and who could manage to keep pulling fast ones on tank, who we've all established to be pretty fucking strong. this quinn does his research and hits where it hurts, and he's not gonna keep sending lackeys to do everything for him THIS BITCH IS ON THE SCENE!!! IM SICK. AND THE FUCKING VIDEO??????????????? BAZ???????? IMGOING TO END UP ON THE NEWS IF YOU KEEP THIS UP. I'm not the biggest fan of angst, but even the cannon quinn was too soft for me. i thought he was going to be wayyyy more involved and psycho than just seeing the damage second hand, BUT THE STORY ISNT OVER!!! i trust erik has something devious planned and if he doesn't,,,,, we know we can count on u to fix that

I trust that u, have something even MORE devious planned. I'm scared pls don't hurt me,,,, I would say bc im in your walls but that just seems like bad taste after reading this

TANKFIGHTSCENETANKFIGHTSCENETANKFIGHTSCENE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

u thought i was done? no I yap

I lob fight scenes sm but it reveals sm about characters, tank knows they're tough shit and their endurance sometimes trumps their strength. even as wounded as they were, they still managed to take down a grown ass man mostly through spite, but that need to win or that need to be in control of the fight was strong enough to make them keep going. tank was in hella abusive relationship w quinn (surprise surprise), he clearly had huge control over them - so instead of having the emotional advantage (being able to manipulate, gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss), they got left the physical one. theyre so used to just tough it out that it became the main way they handle everything. IM STILL SICK SOMEONE HELP MY BABY.

and them subconsciously running towards the 10-19 while they were trying to hide or escape or WTV THE FUCK DARLIN YOU DUMB FUCK YOU JUST CONFIRMED THAT THIS PLACE IS A SAFE SPACE FOR U AND YOURE TRYING TO RUN AWAY?????? please please pleeeeaaaassseeeeee talk to david holy shit I'm going crazy

and them only giving out when david grabs them... I'm not even gonna say a damn thing.....it's all right there,,,,,,, what do you want from me

it's 9am what a lovely way to start my day 😙😙

-🦀

CRAB ANON MY FRIEND!!!!!!

I’m so glad you liked this chapter. I was thinking about you when I was posting btw, wondering how you’d like this one. There are a handful of more batshit crazy chapters coming up and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

My drive in a lot of my long form fanfics is to amend or at least tailor aspects of canon to my taste. Quinn was an asshole in canon for sure. A literal murderer. And I think we’ll get a further look at that before his time is through, but what I really wanted was a Fight to subdue him in the first place, a struggle to get him out of Darlin’s life. It felt… too easy. And maybe that’s a red herring in canon, but I figured, my story, I’m making him as horrific as he was talked up to be in canon.

You are very correct, Carb Anon. I do have something more devious in store. And nobody- NOBODY is safe.

I’m glad you enjoyed the fight scene!! Honestly I have a hard time writing action in the particular prose that I tend to use in narrative stories, so I tend to use them as vehicles for character exploration. I try to stray away from telegraphing each individual blow and more towards creating a particular ~vibe~ to communicate what I wanted to. If I’m not using the fight scene to achieve a secondary, character purpose, then I’m not putting it in there. I don’t know how many of my readers have been involved in a good old fashioned fist fight, but I think this style of writing them is useful to communicate how they can feel. They’re often very fast, only a few seconds, and a flurry of punches and kicks and yells. It hardly ever has the sort of organization and strategizing that we see in fictional fights. Darlin’ doesn’t fight like an action hero. They fight like an animal trying to survive, and I hope that their narrative through the fight communicated that.

And oh yeah, the relationship with Quinn was very very abusive, although they don’t now and maybe never will see it exactly that way. Darlin’ has a hard time seeing themself as a victim, not because of any pride or anything but because they have a hard time accepting that they can be victimized and not the perpetrator, or at least responsible for the abuse they suffer in some way. So Quinn goes from a sadistic abuser to an “asshole who, yeah, hit them sometimes and burned them and cut them and scarred them, but they gave as good as they got and they probably deserved all that anyway, and what unlucky bastard would ever treat them any better than that?” And he’s still got his roots in them. I think, genuinely, that they still love him in a way. They have a big heart, no matter what they try to portray, and they can’t just turn it off.

And YEAH even if their brain can’t process that they’re safe there, the soft animal of their body does know it, in a deep, subconscious way. And their body also knows that David is safe, safer than most people, safer than they are with themself. They’re running on fumes after the fight and when they reach David their body just goes “oh he’s here? Great. ✌️”

Anyway, can’t wait to deal with the aftermath in the next chapter. Hopefully we’ll have another update soon!! Thanks so much for reading and sending these asks in buddy, they seriously make my day.

[teopatra]

✨🤭 BIENVENUE 👋🏽👋🏻👋👋🏿

Let me preface by sayin, I went on Google, found some images, saved these images, but I DO not own them and i am NOT citing my source 😆 BC I CAN *karlie red’s voice* teehee yes I did yes I did somebody plz tell ‘em who the EFF I IS 🤪 I’ll give updates if someone takes legal actions 🥳

♍️Pick a fictional Virgo♍️

Since it’s both Virgo season ANND mercury rx im going to be doing a lot of readings themed around this season for research 🧐 purposes 🤓

1. Rue (real life ♍️ Zendaya)

What do you need to work on?

Either you have an unhealthy addiction or attachment to something OR you need to be focusing more on something like your life depends on it due to either procrastination, laziness, self loathing/not believing in yourself ENOUGH OR just not dedicating enough time to something. If you have an unhealthy attachment to something like social media or video games, know that it’s okay to indulge in certain things but you have to have balance and know wen it’s time to take a break.. your screen time could be high but if that’s the case how are you using that time to create content or make that fun thing lucrative for yourself. You can make tiktoks even if you may think it’s stupid bc the views will bring more traffic to your page but only if the intentions are good and you aren’t harming anything or displaying inappropriate behaviors. Also if you play video games you can stream, if you like to read you can do voice memos and turn it into a podcast, reel, YouTube video and you don’t even have to show your face. I’m getting mercurial energy from this pile bc it’s something to do with your voice and hands .. maybe you build, play instrument, make beats, sing, do ASMR whatever ..

Additional Messages: while mercury is in retrograde this is a good time to work on your craft not perfect it just work on it.. beginning stages will not exhibit perfection so if that’s what you expect out of yourself there is where the shadow work needs to be done. You need to make a schedule; it doesn’t have to be time exact focused but you need to have better intentions for your day.. you need to strengthen your upper body especially the arms.. practice breath work and work on healing and or balancing your lower chakras: root chakra, sacral chakra and or solar plexus whatever one resonates with you..

2. Hermoine Granger 📚

What is holding you back?

Your mouth is holding you back because you don’t understand what it means to move in silence. Just because you didn’t tell people about it or show the internet doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Learn how to enjoy the beauty of life on your own. People will begin to see right thru you and not take you serious if you’re always posting every little thing. Know your own worth, other people see it but it doesn’t seem like you’re being authentic to your true self. Maybe you tried doing shadow work and wanted to reinvent yourself; but who are you trying to be like? If you’re not being you then you’re being a carbon copy and that will just lead you down a path of self destruction.

Additional Messages: I see you’re experiencing some type of food allergy maybe gluten or dairy and hormonal imbalances. You will benefit from journaling, sound baths, and meditation music. Gemini energy somewhere in your chart maybe your moon; if it’s difficult for you to quiet the mind rn maybe bc of issues within the family relating to health or finances then you have to unwind the mind. It’ll take time, (bars) maybe you want to write music is so then do it.. work on the crown chakra, heart chakra, sacral and solar plexus chakras, you really need to recalibrate cuz you’re out of wack and your body or tummy is stressed

3. Bella Swan 🦢

How can you hold yourself accountable?

You use other people’s problems as a way to distract yourself because you want to feel needed by other people. You refuse to do things for yourself or by yourself bc maybe you realize that wen you’re by yourself you’re really sad or lonely.. figure out the root of this sadness and loneliness and heal your trauma. Tell yourself that what happened to you is NOT YOUR FAULT. People will still love you even if you aren’t available for them at the moment, if they’re meant to be in your life they’ll understand. But you don’t want to accept the fact that the people you hold dear to you are probably not meant to be in your life at this time.

Additional Messages: are you using your financial status and material meals to define your happiness? Who would you be without those things? Who are you? Do you even know? You’ve been going thru the motions for so long, that you’ve put your true desires in life aside bc you feel guilty . Heavy guilt issues, check your sun sign and your Saturn and the houses they’re in.. Heal your root chakra and if you’re going thru a Saturn return you better understand what that means for you now since the start of it until the end or else you’ll have to wait another 27 years to really dive into what you love…

4. Frodo Baggins 🧝🏽‍♀️

Where you need to communicate better…

If you have a speech impediment or your first language is diff than those around you causing language barriers do NOT be afraid to express yourself. If anyone makes fun of you for the way you speak they’re a loser and work on your confidence so this doesn’t bring you down. You know what you’re trying to say so maybe work on how to express yourself better with words. You may deal with self doubt, insecurity, trauma, and you may shut down when you feel like others don’t understand you. It’s mercury retrograde and I see for the next 3 weeks people just may not listen , that doesn’t mean talk louder, that doesn’t mean argue, become a better listener and this will help you with your communication. I feel Aquarian energy like you’re different and the ones who know you understand when you speak but you have to have balance and be able to speak in all aspects don’t be afraid or shy it’s okay.

Additional Messages: check your 11th house, and aspects to your Aquarius house, work on your throat chakra and your root chakra. If you’re in school for psychology or you’re an astrologer then you already have the answers you seek you just don’t trust yourself so work on the heart chakra as well.. idk why you don’t trust yourself you’re actually very intelligent but you have some type of disability maybe, confidence and time will strengthen this

5. Jorah Mormont 🗡️

What isn’t working for you anymore?

other people opinions aren’t working for you; you keep allowing people to put their 2 cents in when you need to trust your gut. You have a very keen eye and people feel important wen you ask their input. It’s okay to ask advice from others time to time but ask the universe, the divine, your spirit team, and or your higher self to enlighten you. There may some evil eye around you in regards to your work, others see that your hard work will lead you to success but people feel left out and want to siphon all your energy. Insecure and low vibrational people aren’t working for you. Your challenge rn is to know wen is a good time to just put your phone on DND and do you whether it’s rest or meditation. Strong Leo energy, check your sun sign your 5th house and anything aspecting your Leo house.

Additional Messages: you may need more sunlight or you may need to use more sunblock so you don’t get radiation poisoning. Or some of you could be outside n the sun too much which is draining you in some way. Vitamins could benefit you or orange foods like oranges and carrots. Maybe try drinking smoothies, cut out carbonated drinks and snacks high in sodium, it’s causing brain fog and memory loss. Fatigue is happening to you bc you’re probably over worked and don’t drink enough water or the right type of water.

6. Neo 👽

How to be more productive?

Be more imaginative , be more delusional, exercise your neptunian or piscerian energy by making your dream or fantasy world reality. You need to strengthen your psychic abilities maybe by asking the universe or higher power to give you a sign.. work on your telepathy by imaging a certain object you want the universe to use to communicate with you to affirm. Stop doubting your intuition just because it may scare you. If you believe that we live in a simulation and nothing is real then why are you allowing this reality to bring you down. Pretend you’re in a video game or movie and you’re the main character or final boss. You may need to move your body more bc your blood isn’t circulating enough or properly esp if your body parts have been falling asleep lately

Additional Messages: it would benefit you to detox, drink more water and take on a healthier diet or lifestyle because something is clouding your judgement and intuition. Check your chart for what planets are in your 12th house or aspecting your Pisces placements. You’re in a self deprecating mode rn and you have to snap out of it. Eat less meat especially if you’re a water sign bc you’re taking on the energies of those unalive animals your eating you feel their pain.. also stop eating GMO food for 60 days…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3:03 on the clock

[wolfsbanesparks]

I had a sudden great need to talk about Captain Marvel and his villains with you, bc something about them seemed connected in a grander scheme of things to me and it's late at night right now but I needed to sing about this

Dr. Sivana - (movie version) A man who in his childhood was teleported against his will and essentially temporarily kidnapped to a strange and horrifying place in the middle of the night, forced to be tested for something he had no idea about but continued to be called delusional and insane for when speaking about it to anyone. Driving him mad for being unworthy, feeling like he was rotten despite the circumstances out against him were unfair at the time in his eyes. That moment stayed with him permanently, keeping him locked in that memory forever, never truly growing up, but also losing his heart.

Mr. Mind - In most versions he is an alien or magical creature, but in one version I was told about, apparently he was an abused child who loved to read as an escapism. One day he accidentally ended up in a magical room, where he was transformed into what we now know as Mr. Mind. Human experimentation as a child, possibly. Never having a chance to live as a child and forced to grow up into something he did not want to become, but had to.

Chain Lightning - From what I heard from you, Chain Lightning is a girl with multiple personalities, one (or more) of them being villainous in nature, but one of them being genuine and in love with a boy. Trapped in her own body and mind, a child who has no will of her own to live her life as she wants to.

Lady Blaze/Satanus - Children fathered and abandoned by the wizard. For reasons, I do not know yet, I'm still researching, but this sounds like serious issues that caused them to go mad, vengeful that they were not seen as worth anything in their father's eyes to leave them their "rightful inheritance" after his passing.

Sinclair Batson - A reanimated puppet made by Lady Blaze, a wish by Ebeneezer Batson. A false son. No childhood given, no innocence given, just given a purpose to fo as he is told by people he does not know in a world he does not know.

Black Adam - An ancient and crusty old man, who, in his mortal life, murdered his own nephew for the power he coveted and was not meant to be his. He took the life of the child he was meant to protect and love, and yet when the child protected him instead, he returned the act with malice. The boy was chosen as champion, for the sake of the world, an innocent boy, and the world ripped him apart via his own family.

And then, there's Billy Batson. Orphaned, foster child, homeless (depending on the version), and alone. A child that the world does not see and is also against at the same time somehow. He struggles so hard to find a place in the world for himself, but remains pure of heart during all the bad times. He refuses to become as rotten as the people who see him suffering and ignore him. When he is chosen, it is not by his choice. He did not know what he was in for, and became a superhero with more responsibility and power than he was ready for at his young age. He did not consider himself able to have a childhood before, but WITH the powers he had now?? He couldn't ever think about being a kid ever again.

Just. Them. The theme of lost innocence and being forced to grow up, or the event in childhood ruining them forever and that event being the catalyst for so much more.

At one point in all of those origins for those characters, there were children who needed help, guidance, love, understanding, etc. But they were never given any of that, and look at what happened in the end. Billy seems to be the only one who managed to turn out good, but he could have been so different

Sorry if this is a lot and if there's spelling errors or mistakes, this is just something I wanted to talk about for a long time, and something I'll make my own post about at another time, but I felt like you would have great insight on this

Okay so I've been thinking about this all day because childhood innocence (and the loss of it) have always been a central theme of Captain Marvel’s comics.

This got very long so I'm putting my analysis under the cut.

In captain marvel comics, unlike in other places, innocence isn't equated with naivete or stupidity. Billy is a very innocent character in the grand scheme of things, but he's both very competent and savvy to the issues people faced. This childhood innocence, which is reflected in Captain Marvel’s own behavior even when they are separate people, is about doing the right thing, about not succumbing to things like selfishness and anger even when it's tempting to do so.

And your last point about Billy being the only one to turn out "good" is really important because it's why he was chosen to have these powers in the first place! He was pure of heart not just because he was good and kind, but because he continued to be that way even when he faced hardships that can (and often do) lead people down a darker path.

Now let's talk villains.

The movie versions of Billy and Dr Sivana have very clear and explicit parallels with each other. I think his story is the clearest in terms of how a loss of childhood innocence/trauma can haunt a person throughout their life. His lack of control of those circumstances is definitely one of the biggest factors in why he became obsessed with this one moment, a moment he believes his life was unfairly ruined.

I can't say I'm familiar with the version of Mr Mind you mentioned here, but based on what you've mentioned it's really interesting that his appearance and his powers are from something out of his control. Ironically he is now able to control others, continuing the cycle of abuse.

As for Chain Lightning (Amy is the main alter) is like many characters who canonically have DID in that her alters exist in part to protect her inner child (one of her other alters), to take on any pain or suffering in order to keep their childhood innocence in tact.

Lady Blaze and Satanus take after their mother, a demoness who may or may not have used magic to seduce him. His immediate and continued rejection of them, his assumption that they were evil from birth, certainly had an impact on them and the people they became. They never got to be innocent because Shazam wrote them off as evil from the start. Their insistence that they are owed his power and his place in the Rock of Eternity can be read as them longing for connection to a father that abandoned them and proving they were worthy of wielding his powers despite his rejection. (I'm starting to sense an additional theme of needing to feel worthy in Shazam's eyes but that's another post)

Sinclair exists in an unnatural and not fully autonomous state. He is Ebenezer's child first and foremost even if he isn't actually a child at all. He lost his innocence somewhere between death and resurrection.

And then there's Black Adam. There are a number of different versions of his story but all of them revolve around loss. Whether it's the loss of a child (his nephew or son) or the loss of his wife or brother, he gave into his pain. He have up on childish things like doing what's right and let himself be lost to his own worst impulses.

I think on top of the theme of innocence there's also this parallel theme of autonomy, of wanting male your own choices but having someone or something else taking that control away from you. Which definitely resonates with children who often don't have much control of their circumstances.

This was a lot but the English nerd in me loves talking about themes~

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

[ladysophiebeckett]

need to talk all of you about this amazing movie i watched after watching a couple of duds (sometimes we have to watch duds to find gold)--

and you think 'oh its another hallmark movie'--no. as u can see it's 'reel one entertainment'. dont confuse them. (its like the same thing)

anyway--'the marry me pact', starring Rejected Property Brother #19203 (i assume they have more of them in canada) and Brunette American Carey Mulligan--brings the drama in this 'my best friends wedding' rip off.

opens with rory (rejected property brother) on his 29th birthday reminding 'charlotte' of the pact they made at 21--(bc some girl dumped him) that if he wasn't married by 30 he could marry his best friend charlotte (american carey mulligan). and rory wants to cash in bc this is his face when charlotte says 'yeah but u weren't serious right?'

he was charlotte. he was.

so then she buys him a plane ticket out of miami to like, south america or something. as a present.

then its a year later.

charlotte visits a psychic for research purposes (she's a writer). the psychic tells her 'hey girl there's a man in ur life and also a pact to marry him'. she got all that fm tarot cards. but at no point does she actually do any book research. its over. now the idea of getting a man is in her head.

and boy does it. bc then at the end of the day shes like 'what if rory is the love of my life???' uh u didnt even want him a year ago....

psychic tells her one thing and she's all in.

then rory calls her and is like 'im back in miami' and says 'i have some things i need to tell you'

so they're at dinner (it's pizza at her sister's restaurant. bc a man wrote this so they just eat pizza its their favorite food blah blah blah) and he's like 'yeah i want to settle down. i started to envision that for myself', she's like---

thinking he's gonna say its her. out of nowhere.

but then rory says 'i met rachel!'

charlotte:

then rory's like 'oh yeah we're engaged. and getting married in 3 weeks. and also can u be my best man? and on top of that, can u help me plan my wedding, bc im absolutely useless'.

charlotte: uhh

rory: you're gonna love her. she's a nerd like you. she loves food, like you. she loves the green witch fm that musical, like you. in fact, why dont you meet her right now?

yes, why dont we.

this is charlotte and rachel hugging:

this is rachel in case you're confused.

and this all three of them having wine in his kitchen--

that's right. rory went to south america and found the first american brunette that looked like charlotte and called it a day.

this man is sick.

then charlotte's like 'damn it looks like u couldnt get rory to have better taste in art' and rory's like 'uhh that's one of rachel's paintings' and then rachel spills wine on charlotte. but it was an accident.

im not kidding that really happens and i laughed.

moving on to another hilarious moment--charlotte's finally checking her fan mail that's been sitting in her organized office for 6 months--and what does she see? a postcard rory wrote her from chile declaring his love for her and he says in it 'you dont have to reply and nothing will change between us if you dont feel the same way'

charlotte reading this like--

and what does she do after this? nothing. she just mopes. like a loser.

then later, somehow in a big city like miami, they all run into each other---

the woman in blue is charlotte's pizza sister, she has a boring ass romantic subplot of her own but it doesn't matter.

the script makes it a point to tell us that rory and charlotte love bookstores bc they 'make them feel safe' while rachel the fiancée complains that she likes hitchcock movies but rory falls asleep during them.

rachel is such a loser for liking 'psycho' meanwhile im pretty sure rory's lying about knowing how to read.

anyway he has the audacity to complain that charlotte hasn't been helping him plan his wedding to another woman, literally in front of her (rachel). bc apparently charlotte's been blowing him off. gee, i wonder why.

then he tricks her into going to find a tux and then he tricks her into trying out a wedding dress with the excuse of 'i just want to make sure i look good standing next to rachel in her dress'

we dont even know what rachel's wearing. but sure.

anyway, this little freak got what he wanted.

then charlotte's like 'can u get my shoe off, its stuck in the dress' idk how that even happens but whatever--

then that little freak got what she wanted. ect ect.

of course we get a scene of his brother saying 'hey we always thought you would marry rory lol' and then charlotte leaves immediately.

then we meet the psychic again who says she got a vision of a woman in a wedding dress leaving a wedding. and we think 'oh is she gonna run out on rory?' but the psychic says, what i think is a great line, 'my child, i dont get visions of the future. i get visions of the past'

charlotte and anyone watching this: what?

psychic: i dont make the rules.

this is the worst psychic in miami. she'll give you the lottery's numbers but it'll be the winning numbers fm like, a year ago.

so then its like 10 days before the wedding and we're doing cake testing with rory, rachel and his best friend charlotte.

rachel when charlotte shows up:

rachel (in private), is like ' wtf is she doing here??'

rory: shes helping us out.

rachel: i thought this was something we could decide together??

rory: i could tell her to go...she does find this all tedious..

rachel: no..i dont want to make things uncomfortable

rory: i think u should be happy someone like her is helping me tho bc im so stupid :\

rachel: yeah ur right :\

personally i think rory is getting away with too much.

so theyre tasting cakes but rory and rachel dont agree and ask charlotte and of course charlotte like's rory's choice, which leads to another hilarious moment--

rachel: well what do you know about wedding cake?

charlotte: i know you never ate your first one

and then rachel almost chokes on her own spit.

fast forward--rory's like 'what was that about?' and charlotte's like 'uh nothing'.

rory: do you mind cutting rachel some slack? its important to me that you two get along.

charlotte: i promise.

so now rory has two women apologizing to him for fuck ups he initiated.

let me remind you that a man wrote this.

then charlotte has to apologize to rachel and takes her to a Hitchcock retrospective. rachel's tells us about her failed engagement that happened 'years ago'. but then charlotte stalks down the ex fiancé and finds out rachel left him a year ago. not 'years ago'.

and if you think that's gonna come up later or be resolved--you're wrong.

then charlotte had to help rory find the location of his wedding and we find out that he hasnt written his vows.

rory: u know im terrible at writing. you'll help me right?

like,,,is there anything rory's good at? i dont think so.

now im fastforwarding filler scenes to get to the bachelor weekend--

the boys and charlotte go on some partnered up seeing sight hike and rory's sprains his ankle in his attempt at trying to win...something.

later that night, charlotte and rory have a talk.

rory: im sorry about the hike. i rushed into it--

charlotte: like you do everything--

rory: what does that mean??

charlotte: you rush into everything--today, the south america trip, this wedding--

rory: you supported me doing that trip--u basically bullied me into doing it--

(she did no such thing)

rory: u dont like rachel. that's the problem.

charlotte: that is not true. i dont think u should be declaring that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with someone u dont even know.

rory: why are you telling me this now? my wedding is next week.

charlotte: exactly! i dont want you making some huge mistake! maybe you need more time to decide if this is something you really want--

rory: i do want this

charlotte: does she?

rory: what are you talking about?

and then charlotte spills about rachel's runaway bride incident and shes like 'does that sound like someone who knows what she wants??'rory's like 'you went behind my back'. which is not true imo.

rory: i would have thought you had more faith in me, as my best friend.

charlotte: your best friend? you barely contacted me while you were away.

rory: i contacted you. i wrote to you. i told you i had feelings for you. that i had feelings for you for years. you ignored it.

charlotte: i never got the post card. not until recently.

rory:

charlotte: it's too late now anyway

rory, grasping at straws: i mean...do u feel the same??

charlotte: it doesnt matter now does it?

rory, still grasping at straws: doesn't it??

and then charlotte says what i think is the best line in this whole movie---

charlotte: no because you left the fate of our relationship to the postal service!

(i just want to say that it is no way the post office's fault. that fan mail bag was in her office long before that. so the USPS delivered. she just just never bothered to read her fanmail. USPS is a great service and we should continue to support it. thank you. )

rory, seeing that he's not gonna his shot with charlotte: so why are you bringing this up to me now? we had all of our 20's for you to tell me how you felt. now im engaged and im happy and you want to dredge all this up---

( he's the one who brought up the postcard!!! he also could have said something in his 20's!!!! )

Charlotte: all of this has been really hard for me

rory: so what do u want me to do? not get married? have you and i try and figure out whats going on?

(that's literally what he wants. he's still hanging on for hope)

charlotte: I can't tell you what to do.

rory: you know what? this is so selfish of you. i cant believe that you chose this moment to do this.

charlotte's face rn:

girl ur being gaslight !! get out!!!

rory: i would have expected a lot more fm my best friend. i think u should leave and i think its best you dont come to the wedding.

he's literally the worst. he didn't get his declaration of love and he's like 'okay get out. ur uninvited to the wedding i made you help me plan'

anyway shes back to moping when really she should have booked a flight out of miami to get away fm him.

she gets flowers and she thinks its fm him--

WRONG! its her agent telling her to get her ass up and get to work!!

and she's really happy about it. she's like 'i love work. work is never gonna uninvite me to its wedding or gaslight me or make me plan a wedding'.

then rory and rachel have a pizza dinner night before their wedding and they realize they dont dont know anything about each other and when rachel tells him to ask her anything, he has nothing to ask her.

yeah because he doesnt care about you rachel. ur were a charlotte replacement. wake up.

also this card is fm target. i know bc i have this same stack in my drawer.

its the wedding day and rachel's missing (the escalade broke down) and rory's panicking but he makes his brother call her. this man is useless. he has everyone else doing thing for him. can someone kill him?

so charlotte sees rachel running through the park and she's like 'i'll help u get to wedding on this scooter and i promise it wont look gay'

that promise was broken.

so rory and rachel make it down the aisle and they almost do get married until rory has his flashback thinking about charlotte and then at the same time rory and rachel stop the wedding. but instead of rory being a man and being the one to say 'i cant marry you bc i love someone else' --rachel is the one to stop it and take the blame. she runs out and gets charlotte.

rory tries to apologize for being a dick but charlotte doenst let him and then takes more blame.

you think theyre gonna get married but luckily that doesnt happen.

rory: you know i think you'd make a better wife than best woman

(so he's still trying to trap her)

charlotte: for now why dont we get a slice and watch some figure skating?

rory: i like that.

yeah, those are things HE likes to do. we dont really know what SHE likes to do.

and then they kiss--

i know i said at the beginning that this was an amazing movie and if you've read this far, you're like 'this wasn't amazing'.

i said it was amazing, i didnt say it was good. it was just incredibly messy and i think rory should die.

3\5 stars for being incredibly messy.