#my anxiety’s been bad idk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sweet-marigold · 1 year ago

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The Martha may to his grinch

#I love Martha may and they grinch le sigh #grinch mammon is nicer than og mammon lmaoo #am nervous to post for some reason?#my anxiety’s been bad idk #I also have a fizz version for a friend but that is never to be seen #my art #helluva art #helluva boss #helluva boss fanart #mammon #robo fizz #helluva boss mammon #helluva boss robo fizz #mammon x robo fizz

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idontmindifuforgetme · 8 months ago

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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all #Being dry and cryptic to me #And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship #I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since #And my palette is so cleansed #When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist #There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but #I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out #I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually #Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like #Yeah I’m dropping this for now #I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk #Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill #The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all #I fr cracked it #I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway #But they’re so not worth it #Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun #Not for me #I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me #And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious #Which is why it never works #Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different #So lame #Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags

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deoidesign · 3 months ago

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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)

We all start somewhere!

#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later #my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day #and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night #anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body #and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft #i have so many things i intend to post and then forget #it's a wonder I post anything #i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through #like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it #art growth #this was in 2010 btw #i started highschool in 2011 #I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever #like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me #man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time #if my phone made typos you didn't see it

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raiiny-bay · 4 months ago

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some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished

#so… hi #i think…. i might start making some stuff here soon #i’ve been gone a lot longer than i intended to be #& i feel a lil bad about it bc i really miss my boys & bein here & all that but #idk it’s just been a rough month #but i’m starting to get the itch to create again #i have a very silly idea for the mbz AU #i also just really want to draw some stuff #i miss making things. i’m going nuts. i’ve hardly done anything fun in WEEKS #i’ve sort of started working on some new OCs but ngl #doing anything that doesn’t involve dhes or kel genuinely feels like i’m betraying them #but i have a concept that i really want to explore so that’s what i’m trying to do #i have been working on a few AUs here & there too but #but mostly nothing fun #i need to do something fun while i still can bc i’m starting at uni next month #& i just know i’m gonna have shit for free time then #i’m taking all in person classes which makes me very nervous #i’m trying to be excited about it but mostly it’s just causing me anxiety lol #but anyway. um. yea. hopefully i’ll catch up on everything & reply to the tags/asks i’ve gotten since i’ve been gone #if i reply to something you said/sent to me a month ago… pls just act like that’s not weird. thanks.#rainyrambles

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greatgoddyke · 22 days ago

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time to make your choice only you can be the one

#undescribed #bonk.png #ggg #great god grove #great god grove spoilers #ggg spoilers #<- bc of king n hand gesturing stuff for the au this one gets the spoiler tag #caption is a line from legend of everfree from eg movie of the same name bc its now linked to ggg for me bc of brainrot #first au stuff i dont like have anything really planned out n also dont really plan on doing anything with this beyond doodles #settled on inspekta being a horse bc i want him capochin patty n king to all be earth ponies bc of like permanent having it ingrained from #being an mlp fan as a kid that earth ponies are seen as less special bc they cant use magic or fly n that fits for story similarities #bc inspekta n capochin hating on patty for projection reasons AND inspekta's replacement anxiety n envy of king who in the au #is the only other earth pony lined up to become an alicorn (bc again being specifically an fim fan since i was a kid ingrained in with fanon #that ponies that become alicorns are almost exclusively pegasus or unicorn bc of earth ponies not having as clear of a connection to magic)#in my mind patty is the main character like the bizzyboys are also main characters but its like how the mane six are the main six but #twilight is the MAIN main character its like that n then godpoke is her sidekick (like spike ig but like mysterious stranger style <- idk #what i mean by this) she gets to be the protag bc the type of character godpoke is in the game n how im fitting them to be in the au doesnt #really work for a protag role while patty can be more readily slotted into mlp protag shes the only bizzyboy who cares about solving in the #game (as shown in hobbyhoo) n i like her so she gets to be the protag v-v inspekta is still doing the whole like shit from the game just in #a different way bc of mlp related restrictions n tone differences. the episode where luna goes to nightmare night after being freshly reform #ed walked so milldread section could run however cobigail's deal does run closer to that episode that to the game counterpart but like witho #ut cob having been banished for a thousand years theres no rift in the au bc its. mlp so sort of vague direction is related to the tree of #harmony n like maybe thats how inspekta powers up for the two parter transformation. a thought i had for a workaround for how inspekta keeps #king isolated was maybe turning king to stone n hiding her in plain sight but while that would slide in mlp (they turn a child to stone in t #he series finale apparently??) it leaves a bad taste in my mouth from the ggg angle so probably gonna do something else #art comments both inspekta n cobigail's pony names are taken from ponies i already had inspekta's comes from a different mlpied thing #n cobigail's comes from a fankid (spelled like kandi corn tho bc fankid's a rave girlie) the rest of the gods get to keep their names aside #from maybe bauhauzzo (whos role is undecided) huzzle n click clack arent ponies bc i felt it suited them more huzzle gets to be discordesc #bc i think its fun if like this versions god of chaos wasnt evil BUT that angle is used as slander against huzzle by inspekta #n click clack's a breezy bc small n bratty (we will be ignoring that breezies are mortal if i remember right bc thats not relevant)

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royalarchivist · 10 months ago

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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

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coldshrugs · 9 months ago

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take a deep breath

vierapril day 10: breath

#io laithe #ffxiv #endwalker spoilers #azia gposes #vierapril24 #posting these out of order and at 2am T^T failing the community event #GOD. my game crashed during my first attempt of this and i wasn't sure i'd feel like redo-ing it #but tbh i've been thinking about this for a minute #what it means for her to be A Hero and still have anxiety on a good day. but on the bad days...#what it means to the people who love her most to see her break #maybe not for the first time but in a raw and scary way they haven't witnessed before #so important to me that thancred is the one who goes to her first (and who takes her inside). idk. their friendship is so special!!!#and estinien's shock is also v important to me (peep him dropping his lance). he's feeling so many things rn alkjsfdlk

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spagheddiesquash · 3 days ago

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fizz pre + post infection (and some lore!!)

obviously since hes a plague walker i wanted to make another ref including what he looked like pre infection!! and also i wanna spill some lore about him because in MY opinion i cooked.

so basically his deal is that his whole entire life hes only been seen as this scrawny little thing that wont amount to anything. and one day he gets so tired of this that he just snaps and is like “fuck it i guess ill do plague walking”

the thing is he has this drive to prove himself. to be like i CAN do something. i can BE someone. im not some little pathetic creature like you think i am. (the fact that he grows taller as a result of infection does not help this btw)

also he wears his goggles because he thinks (KNOWS…) nobody will take him seriously if he doesnt. and that would be bad. because hes found much success in plague walking!!

i keep seeing ppl be like “omg hes so cute!!” and im like YES THATS MY INTENTION. YESSS PLAY INTO HIS TURMOIL PLEASE.

i figured since im so good with cute things that i can ONLY draw cute things, i was like. what if i made a guy who was small and cute. so much so to the point nobody thought highly of him. so he spends the REST of his life chasing some sort of approval by trying his DAMNDEST to change the only part of him that anyone has ever known him by. and even HE knows he can never truly get past the fact that he will always be cutesy to some degree. so he tries to prove himself BEYOND his appearance…

which he ALSO knows that he can NEVER DO BECAUSE THE STANDARD HES LOOKING FOR IS UNATTAINABLE. GOOD ENOUGH IS NOT TRULY GOOD ENOUGH IF YOU DONT ATTEMPT TO BE BETTER.. IF YOU DONT MAKE IT PAST BETTER WERE YOU EVEN GOOD AT ALL? that line of thinking is basically him at his core.

this is me rn:

oh yeah i dont think i mentioned before but i DID make him to ship him with jawbone. and yes i will still be doing that.. why do u think i made him a plague walker.. will i post the eventual art? maybe. big maybe. but thats all thank u for reading

#idk if anyone needs to hear this but pls dont feel bad for thinking hes cute. i think so too. i MADE him cute.#thats just the point of his character. he fails over and over again to reach something impossible.#monkey wrench #monkey wrench oc #doodles #my art.#my ocs #oc doodles #oc lore #fizz is a self insert like eddie is. however he embodies the more angry grouchy self-loathing asshole side of myself #whereas eddie is more of the friendly anxiety-ridden dorky side of myself that id consider to be more ‘me’#but they are 2 sides to the same coin. because they both reflect me in some way #SORRY ABOUT THE ANGST BTW. PINTEREST RECOMMENDED ME A BUNCH OF WHUMP PROMPTS FOR SOME REASON #AND SO IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT GLOOM AND DOOM

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fumifooms · 4 months ago

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Thinking about them…

#Dungeon meshi #laios touden #touden family #Toudad and momden #The laifam. The touuu… tou… toudamily? Help idk #Laios holding onto his dad like that after a near death experience after he ran away from his warnings gets to me so bad.#Dad does care dad was so worried and he WOULD stick with u thick and thin he just thinks about ur sake #w momden i also almost put the exorcising Falin thing instead but that wasn’t Laios centric enough #I’ve been writing a laios pov family angst fic lately i’ll be posting it real soon #Gonna be called Push the deciduous out of my gums you’ll know it when u see it #Sigh. Isn’t it neat how the Toudens are scandinavians but Toudad has an interest in myths so he gave his dogs and Laios greek names #That “he never told me anything” panel is prob my fave touden family moment like god what good framing what good hollowness in the delivery #Momden having debilitating anxiety but caring so so much and being overprotective and overdoing it my beloved. Peeking in on them eating #Dad too busy and mom too bedridden to share meals :(#Is the mama reading book pic very tiny and blurry? Yes. Do I have a better resolution of it? No #Could that be a servant peeking in and not their mom? Yes. Do I believe so? No

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spaghett-onaplate · 7 months ago

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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gibbearish · 2 months ago

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oh boy its my favorite day where nonusamericans condescendingly explain to me that the election effects other countries too and therefore i need to be even more terrified than however terrified i already am

#like. yeah. i know it effects yall too. however as a person Living In The Country In Question i feel like assuming we have no idea that #the results of this election could be bad is uhhhhh a bad assumption to make #as a Certified Transgender™ i already bave enough anxiety abt this on my plate #like. take a minute to think abt ur audience here. do yall rlly think the people on tumblr dot com arent already scared of what will happen #if trump wins. do you for real think you need to be adding extra anxiety into the mix. do you actually think we are unaware of the stakes #or do you think maybe. perhaps. possibly. we already know. and just havent been talking about it because We Already Know #idk i just get fucking exhausted coming on here to be greeted by ppl going umm you stupid americans have no idea how important this is #no actually /you/ have no idea how important this is because you Dont Fucking Live Here #we're fucking aware that this will have knock on effects across the world. right now im more concerned about the Direct Effects #origibberish #idk. ive just been getting the impression lately that a lot of yall see yourselves as inherently smarter irt us politics than the average #us citizen / that us citizens are by default Stupid And Uneducated. and it starts to grate after a bit.#We Fucking Know. we're strapped to the trolley tracks right beside you. like. the idea that we're the ones steering the trolley is #propaganda.#it's like when europeans get all haughty abt 'lmaooo imagine not having free healthcare' like. bbgirl you are not punching up.

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phosphorus-noodles · 2 months ago

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kicks rocks. lab results were normal 😔

#been having a Missing The Vitamin moment for a while now. and was finally brave enough to do some tests to figure it out #but everything was fine except higher glucose (i was eating candy) and lower vitamin D (it's cloudy idk)#so like. What's My Deal Then.#(probably just anxiety. which sucks so bad. but whatever)#aaaaaaaaa #pho.posts

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ilkkawhat · 2 months ago

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i'm not doing too well recently but checking your blog in the mornings makes me happy 🫂 i hope things are better for you soon. we can make it through this

oh dear i’m sorry to hear that 🫂💜 i hope things look up for you soon

#maybe by the weekend i’ll feel better…just some anxiety inducing things at work this week and idk #i’m feeling less hurt/upset than i was over the weekend but there’s still some lingering guilt and panic over things #and i even had a nightmare last night #that’s been pretty hard to shake #and then i feel bad publicizing my feelings like this cause i don’t wanna idk come off as attention seeking #everything just kinda sucks but i know that it’s been worse and ive gotten through it #i must be doing okay on the outside at least cause if anything one of my employees made a comment of how kindhearted i am #which felt good to hear with the recent troubles i’ve had with my team lately

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infiniteseriesofhalfways · 2 months ago

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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom

#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this #(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect #making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard #also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift #AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled #but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen #also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot #but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested #not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap #and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied #which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh #and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer #like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage #and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc #AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be #but ANXIETY #its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember #if i fucked up or not #and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much #fuck #wish me luck #ks talks

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tsnbrainrot · 2 months ago

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#everything is wretched rn #i feel so unbearably lonely atm.#the more i get to know the 17-19 years old i work with the more i deeply dislike them and their values.#i can't even think about the state of the world without falling into crippling despair and existential dread #but at least i have my little story i'm trying to write #and its literally the only thing i'm clinging onto rn bc i feel like im going insane #and idk if my anxiety is just about the world in general rn #or if i actually do hate my new job/the people there....#or if im just tired or what #but everything is bad #everything is so fucking bad. on top of it my sleep has been so awful lately.#and its dark at 4pm #about moi #ignore me im having an existential crisis

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mars-ipan · 2 months ago

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Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed

#marzi speaks #marzivents #hi folks. i haven’t been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be #unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (i’m starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS we’re in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now #i think i’ve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all that’s been going on #i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me #she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression #but i think they’ll just be helpful in general #god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like there’s a constant timer hanging over my head #refill these pills before this time so you don’t have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacy’s out of stock on this one #so you’ll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold #which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation #grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 months’ worth now #and that’s the one i really can’t afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up #but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always #i hate keeping track of when i’ve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day #so i remember what i have to take and if i’ve taken it #but god it sucks. i’m at the point where it’s basically routine now so i do it automatically #but i know if i stop monitoring i’m gonna forget if i’ve taken my steroid one day #and either double dose or skip the day. and that’ll fuck me up pretty good #anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist #this one’s fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao

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