#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later

[deoidesign]

One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)

We all start somewhere!

[c0n-struct]

elemental exposure

oh my god my neck hurts and im TiRed and im having trouble seeing straight but i wrote a 1000+ word long short fic for @candrarose ‘s jericho january event about connor being an angsty ass shit because define happy. kinda an au because connor chooses to be a machine at jericho but changes his mind later and i dont think canon events line up so. i honestly dont know but i’m rambling and i dont even know if this is good also on ao3

Connor leans over the edge of the banister, the wind from the gaping hole of the building lashing his synthetic skin and setting his hair into a frenzy. The frost-rent wood iced his sensors from the first brush, but in a sick sense that still bubbles newfangled and young inside of his circuits, it grounds him, brings him back to himself and the present with the warning burning in his HUD.

>Biocomponent #8345i at risk of elemental exposure >Shelter as soon as possible

But Connor doesn't because he can.

Snow billows into the open space in waves, a sort of algid pool building and growing at the threshold of it all. White and fresh as 2038 city snow can be. His sensors detect the pH level in the snow as 4.3. 

Then again, it's about to be 2039 snow, isn't it? His chronometer reads 11:45:07 of December 31, 2038. That has to mean something, doesn't it?

Humans often celebrate the coming of the new year in usually bizarre manners such as watching the drop of some glorified object, kissing a romantic partner with a margin of human error in timing, making resolutions for the new year they rarely follow, blowing noisemakers, or setting off fireworks. Connor sees little point in it all, but, again, he doesn't see much point in many things anymore. All his short approximately four-month existence everything had possessed too much of a point, too sharp, too demanding, and he's tired of it all. And he doubts most humans will find much to celebrate either with the revolution, still fresh and roiling in media and the minds of the human species. Though won peacefully, many of them are, to put it simply and lightly, not pleased with the uprising. He saw that firsthand, the way people too stubborn to abort Detroit glared at his LED like it stabbed them, ruined their whole lives, took away everything they ever loved. 

And maybe it had. 

So he'd ripped it out days after leaving Hank's home, hearing a ringing gunshot echo his departure, heard Sumo's yelps and cries; days after attempting to murder the pacifist leader of the equally pacifist revolution leader in cold blood just because he was so goddamn desperate for the approval of a manipulative bitch of a handler. 

So desperate to avoid the promised deactivation with failure. 

He knows now they would've killed him anyway, failed or no. He's just a prototype, full of experimental programs and faulty and bugged software. They would have produced a more advanced model no matter what. Only the singing of the deviant leader Markus had saved him from the fate in most senses, both resulting in the retreat of the military and giving him the extra nudge to drop the rifle. 

It's gratitude he'll never be able to voice, not after the show he put on in the captain's quarters of the freighter. He recites the lines he's so intricately woven together to himself multiple times a day, beginning with Dear Markus and closing with Extraordinarily sincerely, Connor. He knows it patch by patch, piece by piece, thread by thread. Sometimes he drafts a message to the RK200 when he bolsters himself enough. Sometimes he even scavenges a suitable paper scrap. But, in the end, they both end up in the trash. 

Connor's the antagonist of the story--Markus, the protagonist. Connor's killed multiple deviants directly, thousands indirectly, and drove the only potential friend he had to suicide. Markus saved the entire android race without lifting a violent finger. A part of Connor wants to send the message, just to get the confirmation he craves that he's revolting, a disgusting excuse of a deviant, but deep down he also knows Markus isn't like that. Markus is kind, Markus is forgiving, Markus is the savior of the android race. He already knows what he'd try to tell him, that it wasn't him, that he was forced to, that he wasn't in control, that it's not his fault--

"But, Markus," Connor whispers, dragging a hand along the equally distorted stair rail as he ascends, "I had the choice to stop."

And he chose the brutal pursuit until it was too late. 

Until his hands were stained with blue blood. 

Until his only designation was the deviant hunter, nothing more. 

Until the only way androids looked at him was with fear or anger or sheer, boiling hatred. 

Until the only person he dared to care about fucking killed himself.

Connor still holds on though, and, honestly, he's not even sure why at this numbing point, picking his way out of the upstairs window and dropping down on the roof. 

Maybe it's to prove to himself he can? Or perhaps because he doesn't deserve the serenity of deactivation. In any case, he's again a prototype: he's not meant to last. Connor's sure if nothing else ends him first that the collapse of his own body will satisfy the wishes of most deviants. Some want more for it, he's sure, but nowadays he can't seem to crawl out of the dilapidated hellhole of a house he's taken to squatting in much. 

It's a shame, he thinks while hauling himself up onto a higher roof level, scanning for integrity briefly before deciding it really doesn't matter and settling himself down on the edge, tucking his feet close to his chest. 

>December 31, 2038 >11:58:45 PM

Most of the other houses Connor can see from his location and through the blizzard are dark, but a few lights glare at him through the gloom, bright, happy things that make his circuits turn. 

What would it be like, if things had gone differently for him? If he'd gotten his shit together much sooner? Perhaps he'd be with Lieutenant Anderson and that bear of a dog Sumo whom he so strongly desired to pet one last time, laughing and exploring his new emotions in a more, maybe, healthy manner? He wonders what even became of Sumo after the mess of what transpired after he walked out of the door. Hank didn't have any close kin, so the dog's probably in a humane society somewhere, alone and rotting away while puppies are scooped up. Or maybe he'd gotten out, now running along the streets of Detroit. 

What's worse? 

Connor sneers.

He knows from personal experience that freedom bites and draws blood. 

>December 31, 2038 >11:59:49 PM

Is it any better than being chained to conformity, forced into obedience by threats of death? 

>11:59:50 PM

Freedom has left him with the awareness that things could've been better. 

>11:59:51 PM

It's painful; it's agonizing, knowing all the wrong choices he made, knowing he could've stopped it.

>11:59:52 PM

It's all he can do to hide away--maybe he doesn't want to, but all alone he can't ruin anything else. 

>11:59:53 PM

But then, he can't do anything to fix things while hiding in a half-demolished house, can he? 

>11:59:54 PM

He wonders what's more worth it, briefly, in the freezing cold. 

>11:59:55 PM

Pain, lonely pain, rejection, harsh, biting rejection, or, potentially... something warm. 

>11:59:56 PM

That something warm he felt while petting Sumo. 

>11:59:57 PM

Perhaps it would be worthwhile, to step out beyond his trashy house once and a while, or... pull up a draft... 

>11:59:58 PM

Maybe that was the place to start. 

>11:59:59

Maybe it would lead somewhere, somewhere fresh.

>January 1, 2039

>12:00:00 AM

In the end, was that not the purpose of New Year's? 

Warnings glare in his HUD, but he just tips his creaking neck back as cheers shatter the surface of the dead silent night. 

/ /

RK800 #313 248 317 - 53 : Markus?

[midcing]

okay so i have some New Kids.... they are all trash but some of them are trying their best which should honestly count for something imho... i’ll probably bring some more muses in at some point during this week bc i legit have 25 apps in my drafts right now and i just didn’t apply for all at once bc didn’t want to overwhelm myself... honestly tho? i want all the plots.... so like... pls like this and i’ll im you or come to me throwing ideas at my face so we plot and have some connections and threads ?? love my new trash sons pls ?? thanks !

JAMES WEST looks an awful lot like CHARLIE WEBER. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re LOGICAL, they have a tendency to get pretty CONTRARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to POLARIZE by TWENTYONEPILOTS.

inspired by ;; frank delfino from htgawm, walter white from breaking bad and jaime lannister from game of thrones. 

a lawyer

has 2 daughters.

would probably start a war for both of them if they asked him to.

thinks his daughters are angels who can do no wrong. if he saw them murdering someone in front of him, he would probably come up with a reason why they were doing it and defend them which isn’t great bc they are both like wild kids who are not actual angels ( wc ?? anyone ?? i’m trash for families ngl )

sketchy morals at best? ? doesn’t think of himself as someone who would do anything wrong but if something wrong is being done for his benefit he is sure as hell not gonna stop it

got into an ivy league school because his father - criminal known for money laundering, corruption, and fraud - donated a huge sum of money to the college. will die pretending he got in on his own merit 

the older brother of my character mark west bc i love families sue me

would probably google ‘how to know if i am a dilf’

says thing like ‘lit’ and ‘on fleek’ to relate to the youth

pretends everything is fine until it blows up in his face

wants to much ! a perfect life, a perfect house, a perfect family, a perfect wife, a perfect job ! pretty good ? nah. not good enough for james west. scratch that and start again. everything must be 10/10

wants to be everybody’s dad even tho he isn’t a great dad to his two kids

will make your life choices for you if you let him

will bail you out of jail but only if he is allowed to give you a 3 hour lecture on Responsibility 

will logic his way out of moral conundrums

the kind of person that turns a blind eye to corruption if it benefits him in some way

tries his best, which really honestly can only be said about 5% of my characters, so i would give him some credit

if you ask him a question he doesn’t want to answer he will just straight up ignore the question and change the subject 

feels guilty about the way his helps criminals and does wrong stuff for his benefit and the benefit of the people he loves but also doesn’t try to change

aesthetics — watching the sunset through the office window, loud alarms playing an hour later than it should, unrecognizable reflection in the mirror, child laughter and the heavy feeling of stress in your chest, hushed whispers of assertions amidst a crowd, old wedding rings saved away after the divorce, big houses and empty space, thousand dollar watches, the smell of jail permanently stuck to a three piece suit, painfully happy memories, ignoring the way guilt makes it hard to breath, arguing in a favor of a guilty party.

FRANK HAMILTON looks an awful lot like DAVID HARBOUR. HE is FORTY ONE and while they’re DEVOTED, they have a tendency to get pretty UNPRINCIPLED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEDATED by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; hank from detroit become human and chief hopper from stranger things

                                                              tw: gambbling, alcoholism

a mess trying to pass for a functioning human being

he is a dirty cop that accepts bribes to let people off the hook and gets money from gangs to look the other way when he knows they will be doing something wrong somewhere bc he truly cannot bring himself to care

honestly i have no excuses for his behavior

has a huge problem with gambling. 

born in kola. lived in kola for almost 30 years. moved out after his marriage fell apart, but has recently moved back

the kind of human being who thinks blood and gasoline are sexy

the kind of person that goes All Fucking Out for things and then when things don’t turn out exactly how he expected them to he makes a fuss about it and goes like “why did i even bother?”

will call you out on your bullshit and then act like people just throw shit at other’s face like that. stare you in the eye after exposing you and ask ‘what?’

says stuff like ‘i might be a shitty person but at least i’m upfront about it’ and ‘i prefer not to get involved in people’s lives.’

there is no such thing as a acquaintances. frank either loves you with all his heart and would kill a man for you OR he hates you and the fact that you are able to talk annoys him

you’ve heard of overachivers ?? well frank  is here to present you A True Underachiever. he tries to do the bare minimum amount of work possible 

the personification of /r/notmyjob

would probably go to an underground fighting ring for fun

channels his unhappiness into unhealthy habits. drinks too much, smokes too much. doesn’t do anything to change the fact that he is unhappy

gambled his marriage away by which i mean he gambled everything owned away and kept trying to find excuses for it until she was done and left . he still loves her but he feels like shit and he doesn’t wanna drag her back into his shitty life ( wc ? pls ? )

moved away from kola when his marriage ended and went to las vegas. lived there until he got in dept there too and he couldn’t find anywhere else to play then came back to kola 

at some point was wide-eyed and hopeful and interested in helping people but slowly became unhappy with how he didn’t go anywhere, didn’t become better, greater, didn’t do more and then slowly things just went to shit

aesthetics — casual cruelty in the name of honesty, cigarette buds collecting on an old ashtray, crumbled dollar bills found between couch cushions, falling asleep at three o’clock and waking up the next day, bloody knuckles, handcuffs and police siren, the smell of alcohol in your breath at ten in the morning, unironed shirts and old cologne, knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway, ignored calls from concerned family members, remembering you have to do something just as it is too late to do it, the thrill in heartbeat when you land a punch in someone’s face, drunk steps stumbling out of the bar, begging people for one more chance.

SEBASTIAN “BASH” VANCOOP looks an awful lot like LIAM PAYNE. HE is TWENTY TWO and while they’re CHARMING, they have a tendency to get pretty SELFISH. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to PLAY ME LIKE A VIOLIN by JEREMY.

inspired by ;; hakeem lyon from empire and aaron burr from hamilton

that one sort of famous person that is always shirtless in other famous’ people instagram stories

treats people like things he can use and drop when he gets tired of

fake af. will say he likes you and then shit talk about you behind your back

that one person that goes ‘ooooooooooh you are gonna let them talk like that about you ?? ’ when other people are fighting 

only wears prada chanel and gucci

can actually be really nice if you get to know him but how ? when there are three hundred walls up ??

thinks people are gonna take advantage of him or make fun of him so he just doesn’t trust anyone. can’t get betrayed if you never let anyone in right ??

doesn’t understand internet culture

was born in an insanely rich family. his father was a famous movie producer and his mother was a famous movie star. picture like spielberg as his dad and kate winslet as his mom 

hates when people say like ‘Oh So You Are [    ]’s son?’

the first movie he was ever in was when he was about 5

he was in a bunch of movies from ages 5 to 12 but it was never really anything big. he was just the main character’s kid or that one kid that doesn’t get much screen time in movies like goonies

he never really liked acting but what else woUld he do ?? look at his family !! look at his legacy !! [ cue ‘wait for it’ from the hamilton soundtrack playing in the background ]

when he was 20 his father produced and directed a movie in which he stared. it was like his first Real role in hollywood action blockbuster. before the movie was out there was this whole hype about him and his dad working together and wow it’ll be awesome but it pretty much bombed. picture like After Earth bomb. everyone shit talking about him and the movie and how dumb it is on youtube bomb. the movie doesn’t get money to pay for itself bomb.

despite the fact that his parents said it didn’t matter. it was just a bad movie. everyone making fun of him and people shit talking about how he didn’t have his parents’ talent got to him real bad. he stopped acting all together.

his parents keep telling him to Do Something but he just doesn’t

is living in kola bc LA is a dumb of reminder of everything he thinks he did wrong

aesthetics — the blinding lights of camera flashes, the light feeling of being drunk, loud songs blaring through club speakers, interviews stopped halfway through, rude comments and anger, crowded parties in expensive summer homes, the overwhelming feeling in your chest when someone gets too close to fast, feigned charm and stranger’s company, running out of things to say after you have known someone for a while, wasted champagne dripping off a tilted bottle and loud laughter coming from the other room, the slow but continues pain in your heart that reminds you you are disappointment.

MATTHEW “MATTEO” DECKER looks an awful lot like JON BERNTHAL. HE is FORTY TWO and while they’re WILLFUL, they have a tendency to get pretty BLUNT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SEVEN NATION ARMY by THE WHITE STRIPES.

inspired by ;; frank castle from daredevil, frank castle from the punshiner, frank castle from the born comics series. ( they are three different people, fight me ) seeley booth from bones in season five

                                       tw: alcoholism, ptsd, mention of army, and war

former us marine

mostly goes by decker. his family used to calls him matteo but when other people do it it’s like .. “no”

you have been heard of resting bitch face ? matteo is here to show you the resting i fucking hate you face

swears too much like Wayy too much

he can be honestly really fucking soft i’m ngl but then you gotta be that one person that breaks down walls and again ? who has the time for that ? in the twenty first century?

wants to take care of everyone but pretends he is not interested in people bc he “Knows” everyone is gonna die or leave so there is no fucking point

actually just pretends he isn’t The Absolute Softest for everyone and tries to keep them all at arm's length but then people say ‘hi’ and are nice to him and he is like ‘Fuck me now i like them’

can actually laugh and make jokes which is Impressive imo

but then goes back to being bitter and angry at life

too straight up about things : could heavenly benefit from learning how to read social cues

you have to Tell him things if you want him to understand it. you can’t go around dropping hints. he won’t get it.

drinks his coffee black and without sugar

enlisted when he was eighteen bc patriotism and american dream and red white and blue stars but then that slowly stopped being the point. then he was just doing it bc He had been doing that for years what else would he do ? and then at some point he just saw too much … and then when he was discharged he just Never came back

after he came back he couldn’t find a job and he didn’t know what else to do and he slowly started getting involved with shady stuff and now he sells drugs to pay the bills

disappointed in who he is right now. 

he is honestly Trying his very best.

aesthetics — punching a wall until your hands stings and your chest doesn’t anymore, the pleasant light feeling of holding back laughter, completed tasks and unachievable peace of mind, low chatter in dive bars in dark parts of town, questioning your belief system, roadside motels and failing neon lights, moonlight coming through the bedroom window, leaving the morning after, combat boots, loud honking cars and shaky hands, fighting the urge to shove someone away when you feel their touch against your skin, quiet places and pleasant loneliness, old dusty books and rock music, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, whiskey mixed with coffee

OCTAVIANUS BRUNO GENTILLE looks an awful lot like FRANCOIS ARNAUD. HE is THIRTY SIX and while they’re ROMANTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty UNREALISTIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to SOMEONE NEW by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; jay gatsby from the great gatsby, romeo from romeo and juliet, tom hansen from (500) days of summer, a slam poem i saw on youtube once

                                              tw: bullying, mention of learning disabilities and stutter

romanticized every bad thing that happened in his life.

will romanticize every bad thing that ever happened in your life.

the kind of person that says “things happen for a reason…”

goes by his middle name. honestly thinks his first name is the Most Stupid Thing In The World if you call him octavianus he’ll be legit annoyed. kids used to make fun of him at school all that jazz. just call bruno

he is legit in love with italian culture and history. his father was italian and he just highkey Cannot Shut Up About It

art history professor in kola’s college

the kind of professor that just loves what he is doing… you know when the professor like kinda looks excited that he is talking or sharing knowledge or just talking about shit they truly like ? that is bruno

a nerd but pretends he isn’t

could not do a one night stand without catching feelings if his life depended on it

loves people too much too fast with all his heart

there is an argument to be made for him not actually falling in love with people and just with the idea of love that he made up in his mind but let’s get to that when we get to that

will spend the entire lesson arguing with one student about how inaction in our current political climate is just as harmful as supporting people who are doing harm when he was supposed to be talking about impressionism or something like that

thinks people have a soulmate and he is just trying to find his

100% not only Shows up to slam poetry sessions but Helps organize them

real political. the type of person that rallies when things are wrong and gets others to do it

has too many exes

posts pictures with his current girl/boyfriends on instagram and then doesn’t delete them when they break up bc ‘that’s who i was at that moment’

can recite poetry for you in italian but do not let him trick you. he’ll only be around for the honeymoon phase of the relationship then he’ll be like wow this isn’t perfect. time to end it

loves art !! all type of art !! is terrible at all of it : writing, panting, photography. but he loves it and he does it despite being bad and he tells people to do what they love !! and follow their dreams !!

his parents got a divorce when he was 7 and it was pretty bad. his dad was italian and moved back to italy shortly after. his mother was from kola and he stayed with her.

it was as if his world had fallen apart at that. bruno had never even seen his parents fight and then one day his father just moves out to Another Country he was pretty lost and confused

bruno moved back and forth between italy and the u.s. throughout most of his childhood and adolescence. never spending a lot of time in one place.

though his parents tried to remain friends after the divorce for his sake it never really worked out. his father wanted his mom back while his mother moved on and got married again.

growing up, he had a lot of trouble with accents and language. his father used to speak only italian at home. and his mother used to speak only english.

he developed a learning disability and a stutter after his parents got divorced

kids in school used to make fun of him. the way he talked and his name specially.

doesn’t stutter anymore but when he is talking about something that is hard to talk about, he talks really slowly to make sure the words come out properly

aesthetics — ukulele songs playing softly in a room with echo, piano recitals with ten people in the audience, walking around aimlessly, kissing greek statues, being happy that you are sad because it means that you are alive, cheering on others success, lacking ambition and living the present, old songs hummed in the shower, waking up early and staying in bed until 10am, cuddling under warm blankets, failing in love with a stranger, laughing loudly with new friends, white wine, beautiful paintings in an empty museum, admiring something for way too long,

ANTHONY MILLER looks an awful lot like JOSH DALLAS. HE is THIRTY NINE and while they’re PATIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty SELF-RIGHTEOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to JACKIE AND WILSON by HOZIER.

inspired by ;; prince charming from once upon a time, ned stark from game of thrones, bob belcher from bob’s burgers

                                                                      tw: cancer

cannot talk about his feelings . cannot accept his own mistakes . cannot show weakness . at any point. no matter the subject . cannot let anyone take care of him.

Must be the best at all times for everyone and take care of everyone

self-care is a myth anthony does not believe in

works too much

he needs glasses to read stuff but he pretends he doesn’t so he does that squinting and pulling things close to his face thing. at which point you would probably ask ‘anthony if you don’t want to wear glasses wouldn’t it be easier ? to just ? wear contact lenses ?’ and yes it would it definitely would but anthony likes to make things harder for himself

slow to anger but he has that temper that you literally cannot see coming. he looks serious and stoic and then wow thunderfucking storms breaking chairs and stuff

loves beers and american football

the type of person that says this generation is lost

might smoke too much but he doesn’t talk about that

he doesn’t talk about anything actually

although i love him with all my heart. i would not rec

there is a right way to do stuff and anthony as the holder of all the knowledge and morality Must tell you about it

rarely ever smiles bUT when he does ? smiles like a prince. if we had a royal verse he’d be the king of the entire universe honestly.

he was a oldest child in a family of 7. his parents were super wealthy and he was the One favorite child who both parents used to love and cherish and cheer on.

he got his high school sweetheart pregnant. his parents didn’t want him to marry her bc she was Poor and Not up to standards but he chose love over his family and got disowned for that. hasn’t talked to his family since

his dream life was always to have the perfect picket fence house and american dream type of family. it was supposed to be him, his wife, his son and maybe some day he would have a daughter and it would Be great

he and his wife had a son and they named him hendrix bc she loved rock and jimi hendrix and he loved the name even tho he never liked rock. but honestly ? he was so weak for her he would have loved the name lkgjdflajf if she suggested it

a few months after their first son was born tho she was diagnosed with cancer and a few months later she passed away

after that he raised his son by himself. he really threw himself into it. spent most of his life focused on it and work and now his son is going to college and he doesn’t know what to do with himself

the only person he ever Truly dated was his wife and then he just focused on his son and raising him so he never really allowed himself to date bc then he would have to introduce someone else to his son’s life and all that … sO anthony is usually all cool and fine and then you show romantic interest in him and there is like a visible shift ya know? like he goes from anthony to a truly profoundly awkward person trying to pretend it’s cool

aesthetics — organized work tables, color coded to-do lists, trying your very best at all times, mental exhaustion showing through physical symptoms, dad jokes and laughing by yourself, the smell of new books, comfort found in old libraries, forgetting your reading glasses at home, losing your temper and breaking something, old family photos lost somewhere in the attic, pushing someone else on a swing, sundays afternoons lost at the park, working extra hours instead of going home, cold breeze and hugging yourself to your jacket, trying to explain to someone why they are wrong when they don’t want to listen

[andromedahawking]

NaNoWriMo, Day 1

1,667 words, done! Take a looksie if you’d like. (Warning: this is unedited, first-draft quality writing. Don’t expect AO3-level stuff here.)

Today was Tuesday, and that meant one of three things was going to happen:

Maria was going to have a very bad time, because American History would be devoted purely to working on the group project due at the end of the term, and she would have to do all the work, again.

Maria was going to have a normal bad time, because History would be divided between lecture and the project.

Maria was going to have a good time, because History would be 100% lecture, and the group project would wait until Thursday.

Needless to say, she really really hoped that possibility #3 was going to come through for her today.

She walked onto campus at 9, still bleary-eyed from the night before. She sworn she was going to stop getting so drunk, what happened? It was amazing how quickly she'd ditched that resolution.

“Yo, Taylor, wait up!”

She looked back. There was Adrien. “How’s it going today?”

“Awful,” she groaned. “You remember how I said last night was going to be nice and quiet and I’d go to bed early?”

“Yeah. Didn’t go very well?”

“No, it didn’t…”

He smiled crookedly. “That’s always how it goes, isn’t it? You say it, but then when it’s time to do it, it all just sorta falls apart.”

“Pretty much,” she said. “I ended up getting absolutely smashed and fell asleep at the kitchen table.”

“Oof. That sounds rough.”

“It was fun up until about 2, then I tanked, hard.”

“Well, at least you had fun?”

“I guess.” She opened the door to the History building. “I at least got my stuff for today done before I started knocking back shots.”

“That’s good,” he said. “I know Monaca’s gonna be doing stuff that we won’t understand if we didn’t do it.”

“Does that mean there’s no group project stuff today?”

He made an uncertain noise in his throat. “Mayyybe. Maybe not. I dunno. It’s gonna be something, but I don’t know what exactly.”

“It’s gonna be ‘something’? That’s specific. Very specific.”

He smacked her arm playfully. “Don’t knock me for not knowing. It’s not like she’ll follow the syllabus to the letter.”

“If she does, today is gonna suck.”

“I hear you, sister.”

They entered the classroom. The seats were empty, but Monaca was there at her desk, feet up, book in one hand, bottle of Snapple in the other. “Mornin’,” she greeted, not looking up from the book. “How was your weekend?”

“Saturday was okay, Sunday and Monday… ick," Maria said, sitting down. “I’ve had better days than those.”

“I didn’t really have much going on this weekend, so it was pretty meh,” Adrien said.

“Anything worth going into detail about, Maria?” Monaka asked.

“Not really. Sibling rivalry, too much to drink, the usual.”

“That’s a shame. Hope today goes better.”

“Me too.”

—

The rest of the class trickled in, looking various levels of tired and/or hungover. Apparently there had been some sort of party in one of the dorms or something. Whatever it was, it made her feel a bit better knowing she wasn’t the only one who’s head felt ready to explode.

When 9:30 hit, Monaca put down her book. “Okay, is everyone here?”

“No, we’re missing Jackson and Hannah.”

She let out a sigh. “Okay, well, we’re gonna have to start without them, I’ve got a full class’ work for you today.” She stood up. “So, let’s start with a question: I say 2050s, what comes to your brains?”

“Mazer!”

“Mazer.”

“Energy grid.”

“Mazer.”

“Teller City.”

“Energy revolution.”

Monaca smiled. “That’s what I figured. We had two presidents in the 2050s and a bunch of history happened, but most of us really only remember a few of the big things: President Mazer, Teller City, or the energy grid. I know you guys all had US History in high school, but the first half of the 21st century is a bit, ah, fuzzier in terms of analysis than the rest of the timeline. Then, of course, anything past ’64 is just too fresh off the presses to touch quite yet, and I don’t think I need to tell you why. How many of you were born before or during 2064?”

About half the class raised their hand, Maria included.

“Yup. Thought so. In general, if the people being taught about it were alive then, it’s better to avoid teaching it.” Monaca turned on the smartboard behind her. “2050s, however, are fair game, which makes me a very happy person, because that’s what I focused on when I was in college. So, this unit will be devoted entirely to going through the 2050s, with special focus on the details of what made the big changes possible. If you guys want to know what got the energy grid started, or why Mazer was so popular, or when Teller City became a hub, this is a good time to pay extra attention in class.”

“2050s 101?” someone quipped.

“2050s 202, thank you very much,” she said, grinning. “And, don’t think I forgot, anyone—”

Oh, no. No, no no no no.

Oh, and there was the rest of the class, groaning with her.

“—the group project is due on December 1st, last day of the semester. I’m going to be very generous, and give you the second hour of all the Thursday classes to work on it.”

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,” Maria said through her hands.

“You’ll be fine, guys, don’t be so dramatic,” Monaca said. “And besides, you got to pick your partners, so really, you should be thanking me.”

“Thank you?” Adrien said.

“You’re welcome. Now, 2050! Let’s get started with 2050.”

—

“So basically, 2050 was 2049, except somehow even more devoid of anything important,” Maria said to Adrien as they left.

“Yeah, pretty much,” he nodded. “But it sounds like things start getting interesting in 2051.”

“I really hope so, ‘cause I’ve been a good girl and not fallen asleep in this class yet, and I don’t wanna break my streak.”

“You’re a freakin’ nerd, Maria.”

“I’m a cool nerd, you jerk, and don’t forget it.”

“Mm-hm. Whatever you say.”

“See you in English tomorrow.”

“No, German, remember?”

“Same difference!”

She waved goodbye to him, and made her way back to the parking lot. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Thalia: hey loser before you come back you need to go grocery shopping

Oh, so that’s how it was gonna be today?

Maria: Hey loser, when you get out of bed, you need to get in the fucking shower like I told you before I left.

Thalia: I *did*. *Gawd*

Maria: Keep up the attitude and I will kick your ass into next Wednesday. Get in the shower, now.

Thalia: I already showered! jfc

Maria: Thalia, I will not hesitate. Get. In. The. Shower.

Thalia: I. ALREADY. DID.

Maria: If you’re lying I’m taking away your computer again.

Thalia: Im so fuckin scared

Thalia: it isnt like I *showered* or anything

Thalia: unlike what my sister thinks

Maria: Keep it up, Thalia. Keep it up.

Thalia: we need cheddar and we need ketchup and we need burger patties

Maria: I hate you.

Thalia: mwah

Maria growled, shoving her phone back into her pocket. Why did little sisters have to be the most infuriating creatures on Earth?

She got in her car. “Tesla, I need to go to the grocery store before heading home today, remind me.”

“When would you like to go?” the car asked.

“No later than 15:00.”

“I will remind you at 14:00.”

“Thanks. Take me into the city, I have to meet up with John today.”

“Where are you meeting?”

“Down at that ritzy place on Columbus.”

“Giove?”

“Yeah, Giove.”

“We’ll be there in 15 minutes, with traffic.”

“Sweet.”

—

Giove was a nice Italian restaurant in San Francisco’s Little Italy. Maria saved going there for important meetings or special occasions. Today, with John… it was sort of both.

Thinking about it, it hadn’t been all that long since she saw him last. It was November 1st today, and she’d seen him in July. So that was, what, a few months? Not that long, in the grand scheme of things. John lived in New York, anyway, so getting out to see him wasn’t something they’d planned on happening frequently. When he’d called last week to suggest meeting up, she had offered to let him stay the night, but he'd declined. “Church stuff,” he’d said. Whatever that meant.

The fog was starting to burn off when she arrived, the sun shining through a small hole in the blanket of gray. It was still plenty cold for her taste, so she hurried inside and got to their table.

John showed up a few minutes later. He looked a bit better than last time: he’d gotten a neater haircut, and his facial hair was less unruly. He was wearing a button-up shirt this time, which was an interesting change. She wondered what he would look like in a three-piece suit.

“Hey there, Maria,” he said, sliding into his chair. “How are you?”

“Hoping to get rid of the last of my hangover with this lunch,” she said. “How about you?”

“The Hyperloop gives me anxiety, but less so than other modes of transport,” he said. “Other than that, nothing incredible is happening in my life.”

“That so?”

“Well, besides the obvious.”

“Right…” she said. “…I’ll get it out of the way, you and I are both thinking about election day, right?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I’m not looking forward to it. It’s going to be one of the closest in recent history.”

“Closer than ’64, do you think?”

He frowned as he thought about it. “On an electoral level, probably not, but popularly, it’s going to be very tight. It could go either way.”

“I’ve been trying not to think about it, but… it’s hard,” she said. “I turned off my WiFi in October.”

“Same here,” he said, laughing weakly.

[skittymon]

your personal top 5 moments in Arc-V(this should keep you busy)

Boy.

Okay so I was on mobile last night so I waited to answer this.

Also this isn’t necessarily my top 5 cause @chromsai are made an amazing list  of their top 5 moments and honestly about half of my favorite moments are on there but to give variety I’ll do other moments

5. Yuya and Yuto v Serena and Ruri (124-125)

oh god, this duel.

Okay first, after like one-hundred episodes, Yuto finally meets up with Ruri, that’s even longer than what the fruits had to wait. And he’s so happy to see her???

And he wants to save her from the Academia so bad??? That he switched cards with Yuya??? (I mean that kinda doesn’t make sense but its ygo so whatevs)

And then when Shun arrives to help save Ruri, Serena fucking tasers him.

Like damn, I know this is seriously but shit that’s funny. How the fuck did she get a taser??? Like damn if this wasn’t a card game anime she should have went and tasered Yuya and all of Leo’s problems would have been solved.

And then we learn about the parasites, and yea a lot of people don’t like them and think the plot point was stupid but you can’t deny that putting bugs into fourteen year olds head’s is pretty messed up.

AND THE FACE YUYA MAKES WHEN HE FINDS OUT YUZU ALSO HAS A BUG IN HER HEAD MY HEART.

And then, it happens.

THE BOI IS BACK. And he is m a d. Then not even two minutes later we get this sweet flashbacks of how Yuto and Ruri meet??? And god they’re cute I forgot how much I like this ship haha

Looks at how smitten this boy is, what a loser.

So the duel progresses, and it keeps switching who has the upper hand and once Serena and Ruri get the upper hand once more Mr. Ugly Face comes and is creepy and I don’t feel like getting the screen caps of him. 

But that leaves Yuya pissed, so of course he goes berserker. And honestly, that was the only time I was genuinely afraid of him. Like seeing berserker Yuya was always cool and stuff and he WRECKS SHIT. But this was different. ZARC ACTUALLY SHOWS UP. I get chills everytime I see this scene.

And Yuya’s feelings effect Yuto?? Like before this and even after this when Yuya is berserker Yuto most times isn’t unless Yugo and Yuri are around?? 

AND WE GET ODD EYES RAGING DRAGON WHO’S REALLY SCARY BUT ALSO REALLY PRETTY???? 

OF COURSE LETS NOT FORGET THE ICONIC LINE BY SAKAKI YUYA AND HIS SATAN FACE

4. Serena v Yugo (84-85)

So this might have to due with the fact that Yugo and Serena are two of my favorite characters from Arc-V BUT THIS WERE SUCH GOOD EPS.

First we start off with gold like I die every time I watch their introduction.

While this scene is very funny it also reflects their personalities. Serena, a child soldier, is taking this very seriously and is offended at what Yugo did. While happy-go-lucky Yugo is a ball of sunshine and is being very comical about this. They’re at opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Then when the duel starts all poor Yugo can think about is Rin (also our first time hearing Rin’s voice)

This odv backfires on Yugo cause he doesn’t think and just summons a monster in attack mode then ends his turn. Serena’s pissed because she’s been taught to take dueling seriously all her life and Yugo just did that. But he is taking it seriously??? He’s just a giant goof ball???? 

Luckily his feelings for Rin works both ways and he remembers what she told him about focusing, and Yugo apologizes to Serena about how he’s acting.

This duel isn’t just about Yugo’s development, Serena gets a lot too (which is awesome cause most times a duel only develops once character or waits until the opponent is defeated to develop the other one)

Both Yugo and Serena are very skilled duelists, but they’ve lived completely different lives. Yugo lived as a free spirit, learning to duel better so escape poverty and being on the streets. Serena’s was raised as a captive princess and was taught to be like a soldier. But the same time both of them just want to escape their old lives and find better ones.

This is shown a lot with how they react to the Action Cards Roger keeps trying to give Serena. At first Serena wants them cause she wants to win, but once she finds, or figures out, that it was a free handout she doesn’t grab them. She wants to win with her power. Her luck. She’s tired of people treating her differently and wants to prove herself. Yugo on the other hand will take all the free stuff. He’s not use to that, even if it cheap or cheating as long as it helps you in the long run then use it. 

Both of these philosophies hold valid points can and are both right in a sense. 

We get Yuya and Yugo synching again.

Serena being like ???? What is this???? People are cheering??? And I’m happy??? Dueling = fun??????

We see Serena and Yugo’s strongest monsters

THIS SCENE THAT, AND IM NOT EXAGGERATING, GETS MY HEART POUNDING EVERYTIME I WATCH IT

3. Yuya v Jack round 2 (96-98)

So the City is fucking rioting right now and because of Yuzu’s words to Yuya (my fruitsssss), he has the confidence to duel Jack again and win this time. And to tell the city to calm the fuck down and stop fighting with card games ffs

(Look at the Lancers being dramatic when ppl start raiding the area)

And I don’t get when ppl say the Synchro was a waste of time?? Like Yuya got so much confidence this arc?? And learned not just to convey his feelings but others as well??

And while entertaining Jack just fucking owns Yuya and Yuya’s upset that he can’t fulfill his dad’s legacy. The Jack motherfucking Atlas tells him to remember his own style of dueling. 

Because even tho Yuya has improved since ep 1, he’s still not ‘better’ at least entirely. He’s not wearing a fake smile anymore and he doesn’t joke about stuff anymore nor does he hide in goggles. BUT he still clings onto his father who disappeared three years. Trying to up load his legacy and he someone he can be proud of, when Yuya doesn’t need to do that. He doesn’t have to continue Sakaki Yusho’s dueling, he should create and show Sakaki Yuya’s dueling.  

At the same time, there’s nothing wrong with building off of someone and turning it into something else. Which is what Yuya learns through this duel. He’s Sakaki Yusho’s son and has inherited his dueling, but at the same time he’s the pioneer of Pendulum Summoning and has learned all the summoning methods - with the latest being Synchro.

So he takes what he’s borrow - his father’s dueling, ability to use other summoning methods - and combines it with what’s his own - Pendulum Summoning - can creates something that uses all three and gives it form.

Look at this boy realizing this his own dueling is a combination of everyone around him and how he was able to go further with Pendulum than he (and Zarc) ever imagined.

Also some ppl say that the Lancers don’t do shit??? Like look at these losers looking cool going to protect the City because that’s what they’ve came here to do.

THE CLIMAX OF THIS BATTLE IS BEAUTIFUL??? EVERYONE FROM SYNCHRO COMES TO SUPPORT YUYA LIKE HOLY SHIT. LOOK HOW EVERYONE COMES TOGETHER.

THEY EVEN BROUGHT BACK JEAGER FOR THIS MOMENT.

This was such a hyped duel. Like god I can’t watch it without grinning.

2. End of Maimi City Tournament (45-50)

Okay so this is where I have to stop using pictures because A) this is about five eps B) I’ve been doing this for about eight hours now (my pc is v slow loading the eps and I won’t let me save it as a draft) and C) I’m at 138 pic rn hahaha….

This is the first time the Standard duelists (and Serena) see the true terror of the dimensional war, and this is the first time Yuya has seen people use dueling for something so cruel.

People get carded, characters we cared about get carded, and it takes fucking what seven-ish of them to take down three Oblesik duelist. 

Like things are fucking crazy - Yuzu disappears, Yuya has flashbacks of Yuto’s memories, Yuya fucking duels Sora.

Oh god Yuya and Sora’s duel. Like yea, Sora’s duels with Shun are v fucked up but we’ve seen Yuya and Sora’s friendship grown since ep 5. And just gets stomped on.

Yuya can’t understand why Sora is doing what he’s doing, while Sora thinks it’s practically common sense (and he thinks it’s for a good cause). This is the first time Yuya’s philosophy is put into question and it’s the first time we truly see ‘duels without smiles’ and honestly it’s kinda terrifying.

The future Lancers only survivor through their teeth and even tho we just spent like ten episodes seeing characters like Yuya, Gongenzaka, and Yuzu get stronger, that’s not enough, and it’s sad but true.

This marks to point of no return for the Standard kiddies and for them to face the reality that not all duels can be dueled with smiles.

1. Yuto’s arrival (7) 

So rewind to 2014, sixteen year old me hasn’t watched ygo since episode like 7 of Zexal. I hear that there’s a new ygo series airing and I decide to check it out.

Nothing really sticks out to me. Okay, Yuya was a fine protag but besides that it seemed like a normal shounen to me. Father disappear mysterious before the plot, character’s have gag lines they spout every other sentence, duelists have cards that relate to their aesthetic or what they like, nothing new and kinda standard.

But still I watched the first couple of eps cause why not? The action duels are pretty enough and I loved Yuya’s tomato hair. 

Then episode 7 aired. 

I go on tumblr and see people freaking out - the spoilers have come out. Besides finales I don’t really care for spoilers so I check them out.

And there’s a guy who looks actually like Yuya.

I was genuinely shocked and interested in the plot (something I haven’t been since dark signers), and I watched the ep.

First I’m surprised that it’s Yuzu that discovers this important plot point, not Yuya (and the show continues to leave him in the dark till like ep 38). Also it implied that Yuzu is more important to the plot than we thought which like, blew my mind. Anzu may have been Yugi’s first friend but she didn’t add anything to the plot, Asuka’s plot was about her brother which ended at like ep 20 and had the SoL in season 2 then practically nothing in seasons 3 and 4. Aki was a signer which made her special, but not within the main characters cause they were all signers and her psychic powers got dropped and Kotori…lmao.

But Yuzu added to the plot??? She has something special to her self???? Besides the huge ass plot twist about trying to figure out who Yuto was we also had to figure out why Yuzu was special????

So while I stopped watching Arc-V, I still wanted to keep up with the show so I followed a few ppl who watched it and kept up with it because I wanted to know what the hell was going on.

Yea the ep itself wasn’t too noteworthy, but its the ep that got people questioning, got me truly invested in the show, and it’s the ep I tell people to get to to see if they’re interest in Arc-V. 

So thanks Yuto, it’s cause of you I officially got stuck in card games hell forever.

[notthetoothfairy]

He’s Got You High

For @a-simple-rainbow. ♥♥♥

She wanted something based on this post: Kurt sends an email to his TA while high on pain meds after a wisdom teeth extraction.

read on AO3

Blaine is in the middle of his theatre history class when his phone signals a new email in his inbox. Discreetly hiding the phone from his instructor’s view by keeping his hands behind a stack of textbooks on his desk, he goes to his email folder and checks the sender.

It reads, Kurt Hummel.

He has to bite his tongue to stop the smile forming on his lips. Kurt is a sophomore, only a year behind Blaine, and takes improv and stage combat class with Blaine. He’s also a student in one of Mme Tibideaux’s more advanced voice studio classes that Blaine miraculously got to be the TA for this year.

To say that Kurt is Blaine’s favorite student would be an understatement – in fact, hopelessly crushing on him is probably more accurate.

It’s not like Blaine is planning to do anything about it, at least not while he’s Kurt’s TA. It would be inappropriate, unprofessional, and probably also really awkward, especially if Kurt isn’t interested.

So, he’s not fooling himself into thinking that Kurt’s email will be anything out of the ordinary. Probably a note of absence or questions about the final exam… though, as Blaine notices with a frown, the subject reads “Paper Eggstension”. Autocorrect maybe? There’s no way Kurt’s spelling is that bad, Blaine has read and graded most of his MUS105 papers.

Glancing at the teacher to ensure he’s still unobserved, Blaine opens the email, intrigued and a bit concerned now. He scans the first few lines and – oh, wow.

Everyone at NYADA knows Kurt is full of surprises and he’s certainly made an impression on Blaine more than once but this…? This has Blaine blushing, giggling under his breath, shaking his head fondly and wanting to check up on Kurt all at once.

To: Blaine Anderson

From: Kurt Hummel

Subject: Paper Eggstension

---

Dear Mr. Blaine,

sry, I forgot your last name because Rachel calls you Mr. Dreamboat! And y would I use your last name anyway? You told us to call you Blaine. Thats a nice name. Blaiiiine.

You said other stuff too. Like that we could send you our MUS105 paper before we send it to Mme Tibidibideaux (I wish she let us call her Blaine too) but only if we dont miss the deadline. Now I gotta tell you: No can-do. But I have an excuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you don’t believe. But you should. Cuz Blaine, u see – I got my teeth removed. The smarty ones. The wisdom teat. Anyway. I got them out. It was brutality. So much pain, worse than when I watched you unfairly lose Midmight Madnesssss against that senior douche, whatever the fuck his name is again. You should have won Blaine. You were better. I think Rachel bribe the judge bc she went out with senior douche… what is hid name? Bobby? Barney?

But PLEASE could I get a few more days, could you ask Mme T.…??? I really wanna do well bc… you see, Mme T., she scares the hell out of me. Ha that rhymes, triple! Cuz I’m awesome. Yes, I am. You can just accept that as fact or you can also go out wih me and see how awesome I am for yourself, your choice (but pick the latter!). But anyway please please pls pls pls can I hand it the paper a bit later? I really cant submit something bad -- and Im afraid they pulled out my brain with the teeth!!!!!!!! I can’t write a well paper without a brain!

My doctor says Ill regret writing emails while Im hai (thats German for shark, funny fact) so I’m gonna stop and hope that you will say yes! Please bro? Oh! Brody. Brodouche. Midnight Madman. Destroy him next time! (He broke up with Rach, he deserves it.)

Thank you, Mr. Blaineboat. I really like you.

Kurt xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine reads the email three times before deciding that he should wait until after class to type out a response. In the state he’s in right now, he’ll probably do something stupid and just write back, Yes to all.

He wants to, of course. He’d give Kurt an extension on his paper and say yes to a date with him in a heartbeat but… he knows he’ll have to convince Mme Tibideaux, sort out his personal TA-student dating policy (and maybe ask around if NYADA has an official take on it) and make sure Kurt really meant to type this and didn’t just do so in the spur of the painkiller-induced moment.

The class can’t end fast enough but as soon as it’s over and Blaine finds a quiet corner in the library to think of what to respond, he blanks, drafting several replies but ending up deleting all of them.

“Goddammit,” he mutters to himself. “Just write something.”

In the end, “something” doesn’t really compare to Shakespeare but Blaine figures that at least he won’t risk his job over it, either.

And maybe, just maybe, Kurt will catch the ambiguity in his words.

-

“What are you working on?” Rachel asks when she comes back to the loft, arms full of grocery bags that Kurt hopes are filled with veggies for him to make soup with. He seriously craves eating something that isn’t liquid but mushy veggies drowning in hot water really is the maximum of cheating when it comes to his pained cheeks. He knew it was a bad idea to get both upper wisdom teeth out the same day. But it’s too late to complain. At least he has a best friend who brings him soup.

Kurt sighs at the laptop in front of him.

“My paper for Mme Tibideaux,” he responds. “You know I love Sondheim but interpreting his work while physically injured makes me want to kill him.”

“He’s in his mid-eighties, Kurt,” Rachel tells him. “Let an old man be.”

“Ugh.” Kurt rubs his eyes. “The meds are making me tired, though.”

“Why do you even bother writing the paper when you got an extension from Mr. Dreamboat?”

Kurt frowns at Rachel. “Extension? When would I have gotten that?”

“In your email?” Rachel frowns back. “Come on, don’t tell me you chickened out just because you’re in love with him. He’s still our TA, he could probably do something about that deadline, so-”

“I don’t remember writing an email.” Kurt goes to student email and punches in his username and password. “Or getting one back, for that matter. Like, wouldn’t I rem-” He blinks in surprise, catching Blaine’s name in his inbox – twice, even. How high was he, exactly? “Wait, what did I…?” Clicking on the email, bits and pieces come back to him, and he suddenly grabs the couch cushion next to him, holding onto it for dear life. “Oh my god, no.”

“What?”

“Rachel.” Kurt feels the blood draining from his face. “Oh, Jesus, please tell me I didn’t write that…”

He scrolls through the quoted email below Blaine’s short responses (Dear Kurt, thank you for telling me! And yes, of course! I’ll talk to Mme Tibideaux, and get back to you once I know more. Get well soon! All the best, Blaine, and the more recent Dear Kurt, I got a yes from Mme Tibideaux, you’re getting one more week! Best, Blaine) and cringes when he reads the first line.

“I did. Fuuuuuck. Oh god, now I wish Sondheim could kill me.”

“Again, the guy’s, like, 85…” Rachel says slowly. “And why would you- whoa, is that your email to Blaine?”

Kurt doesn’t answer, instead opting to hide his face in his hands.

“You did not tell him we call him Mr. Dreamboat.”

Kurt whimpers.

“You did not ask him out!” Rachel squeals.

Kurt lets out a miserable whine.

“Oh my god, Kurt, you did not tell him you like him and signed the email with a dozen kissing faces!!!”

“WHAT?!” Kurt’s hands fly back to his laptop. He didn’t re-read that part. “Oh my god! I ju- Rachel, I can never go back to that school. I’m such a failure at life, Jesus Christ.”

“You’re very religious all of a sudden.”

“Don’t just sit there mocking me,” Kurt begs. “Tell me it was all just a bad dream.”

Rachel gives him a look of deep, genuine pity. “I really wish I could but I doubt my eyes can never unsee that email. Also, I know you wrote that while you were high on pain meds but I am a bit upset you never told me you didn’t like Brody. Might have saved me some trouble.”

Kurt rolls his eyes at her. “You honestly believe I never brought it up? What do you think we were we having that flea-market chair argument for? And don’t even pretend like you would have called it off with him just because I said something.” Rachel opens her mouth to speak but Kurt shakes his head violently. “It doesn’t matter, anyway – what am I going to do about this?!”

Rachel shrugs. “Kurt, it’s out there. All you can do now is roll with it.”

“In my grave, you mean?”

“In class. To which we’re going tomorrow since you’re so much better already,” Rachel tells him sternly. “Judging by Mr. Dreamb-”

“We can’t call him that anymore,” Kurt says quickly.

“Fine.” She sighs. “Judging by Blaine’s reply, he’s not bothered by it. Who knows, maybe he’s flattered. Or happy about it. It’s not every day you get an email from a cute guy confessing he’s crushing on you.”

“Yeah, right,” Kurt mumbles into the sleeve of his sweater. “As if I stand a chance with him.”

“No time like the present to find out,” Rachel says with finality. “Now, I’m making you soup, and you’re going to put on some Sondheim so you can work on your paper with some fresh insights and maximum concentration.”

It’s a nice thought – but Kurt doesn’t get anything done that night.

-

Blaine carefully keeps his eyes on his notebook when Rachel and Kurt walk into his class.

He was expecting Kurt to come back today (and no, he did not google how long it takes for people to recover from wisdom teeth extraction – he just asked Sam, who had gotten it done right before moving to New York), and he might have put a little extra effort into looking good today. He never got a response from Kurt, so he figures the guy has either silently acknowledged the paper extension, avoided Blaine for a number of possible reasons or forgotten about the exchange entirely.

Whatever the motivation behind it, Blaine will not despair over it. He’s Kurt’s TA, and as such won’t try anything anyway. NYADA doesn’t seem to have any policy against TAs dating students but nevertheless, he doesn’t want to put either them in an awkward position.

Which doesn’t even take into account the fact that he still doesn’t know whether Kurt remembers asking him out, whether he actually meant it, or whether he intends to ask again.

He might want to wait until Blaine’s no longer his TA as well. That’s alright with Blaine. After all, there’s a month left to this semester, so he can wait. He totally can.

He looks up from his notebook with a smile.

“Hi everyone,” he greets the class. “How are you doing? So, the deadline for your papers is Friday so I hope you’ve all sent me your drafts in case you want me to read them.” He can’t help but let his eyes wander to where Kurt is sitting. “Unless there were any reasons to hand them in late.”

Kurt blinks really quickly at the sudden eye contact, and lets out a nervous laugh.

And Blaine realizes he really totally cannot wait a whole month to get answers to his questions.

Before he can stop himself, he adds, “Everyone with extensions on their papers, please come see me after class.”

Of course, that’s just Kurt, but the class won’t know. Okay, Rachel might know, seeing as she elbows Kurt so hard it almost sends him flying off his seat. Kurt almost doesn’t seem to notice it as he’s busy staring at Blaine with a bit of a twitch in his eye.

Blaine suppresses a groan. This isn’t the plan. What is he doing?

-

“Blaine, I am so sorry!” Kurt exclaims in misery when the rest of the students slip away after class is over.

He’s beyond glad that Blaine didn’t make him sing any of his pieces today because apart from already being nervous whenever Blaine does ask him to do that, today his anxiety probably would have been the final straw. He might have run off or broken out into tears in front of everyone.

Blaine looks at him with a small smile. “You’ve got nothing to apologize.”

“Uh, yes, I do,” Kurt says stubbornly. He’s beyond mortified; the least Blaine can do is let him apologize properly. “I really didn’t mean to-”

“Oh.” Blaine looks down on the pile of sheet music he was stacking. “Yeah, right. Uhm, seriously though, I know how bad pain killers can be, I don’t blame you for-”

“Oh thank god, you know it was the pain meds,” Kurt breathes out in relief. “I was afraid you’d think-”

“No worries,” Blaine cuts him off. “It’s alright if you didn’t mean any of it.”

Kurt hesitates for a second, and gulps as he takes in Blaine’s slightly shaky hand movement as he stuffs the sheet music into his messenger bag.

“If…?” he asks quietly.

“I mean that,” Blaine says, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Sorry, that, of course.”

Kurt’s at a loss. He’s getting mixed signals, and just judging by the last bit of the exchange – if that was the only thing that had happened, his stupid email and the fact that Blaine is his freaking TA forgotten – he might even be encouraged to inquire further.

But he can’t just admit to meaning all of it, right?

He settles for the safer topic. “So you wanted to speak to me about my paper?” he asks.

“Uh, yes.” Blaine smiles, though he still looks distracted. “I just wanted to ask you whether you had any questions about the material since you couldn’t join us for the last two sessions.”

“I…” Kurt shakes his head. “No, I think I’ve got it covered. Rachel caught me up.”

“Alright. Well, if you have any questions, you can send me an email.”

“Or not,” Kurt says quickly. “I think I’m swearing off emails for a while.”

Blaine laughs, the sound warm and pleasant in Kurt’s ear.

“Right,” he says. “I know this is a bit awkward but… it could have been worse. You could have written that to Mme Tibideaux or Miss July.”

Kurt is so relieved that Blaine is able to joke about it that he replies with a mindless, “Yeah, except I wouldn’t have told them I liked them, so…”

Blaine gapes at him, and Kurt realizes a second to late what he’s implying yet again.

“Oh,” Blaine says. “I, uh-”

“I’ve got to go,” Kurt cuts in, ears burning. “Can I go?”

“Uh, uhm, well, yeah, of course,” Blaine stutters.

As Kurt turns around and gathers his stuff, he can hear Blaine mutter something to himself. Kurt’s almost out the door, when Blaine calls out, “Kurt?”

Kurt turns around gingerly. “Yeah?”

“I really didn’t mind.”

“Okay...”

“Like, really really.”

Kurt wants to scream, But what does that mean?! Instead, he takes a deep breath, collects his thoughts, and says, “Okay… see you in improv, I guess?”

Blaine nods quickly. “Yeah. Later, Kurt.”

“Later, Blaine.”

-

Blaine is early to improv class, even though it’s all the way across campus. But he didn’t stop for his usual coffee, grabbed a salad to-go instead of lunch with his friends from his dorm, and also maybe, possibly hurried to get to class because Kurt is usually early to everything.

Blaine is the first to arrive, though, so he grabs his usual seat and gets out his salad. He’s about to slice the egg when he hears Kurt’s voice from outside the classroom.

“Talk to you later, Rachel.”

“Okay. And, Kurt, remember to ask-”

“Bye now!”

As soon as Kurt’s through the door, his eyes land on Blaine and he freezes.

“Uh, hi,” he says. His cheeks are slightly red, probably from the cold weather outside. “You’re – uhm, early.”

“Yeah.” Blaine looks down briefly, willing himself to just go for it this time. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Again?” Kurt bites his lip. “I thought-”

“Kurt, when I said yes in the email, I meant yes to both.”

“Both?” Kurt frowns. “I don’t-”

“Both questions. Or requests, I guess.”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “You mean…”

“Yeah, I mean,” Blaine says with as much conviction as possible. “At first, I didn’t want to say anything because, you know, TA and all, but… seeing you in class, knowing, or well, hoping that you meant it, and… I don’t know, I couldn’t wait those four weeks until the semester is over. So I asked you to stay after class but then that felt super shady, too, so… I don’t even really know what I’m doing right now.”

“Do you know what you’re saying, though?” Kurt asks breathlessly.

“Well…” Blaine can’t suppress a grin. “Unlike some people, I’m not on pain meds right now, so, yeah, I’m pretty sure I have full control over my words.”

Kurt glares at him but it’s mostly façade, especially considering he’s still looking like Christmas came a bit early this year, and Blaine… well, Blaine is floored at the thought of being the one to actually make him look like that.

“Well, apparently those pain meds at least made me confess something neither of us could admit to sober, so…”

“Hey, for the record,” Blaine says, getting up to stand in front of Kurt, “I fully intended to ask you out once the semester was over.”

Kurt’s eyes are locked on Blaine with sheer intensity, and Blaine isn’t proud to admit it makes his knees a bit weak.

“Really?” Kurt asks, clearly intrigued, then sighs. “So my email was completely unnecessary.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Blaine says. “I got so many laughs out of it.”

“Oh god, shut up.”

“No, I mean, it – eggstension?” Blaine chuckles. “Wisdom teat? There were some good ones there.”

“What part of shut up-”

Waiting really isn’t Blaine’s strong suit, he realizes, as he leans in to kiss Kurt, four weeks too early to be completely professional, yet about half a year too late considering how long he’s had his eye on him.

Kurt’s protest is muffled against Blaine’s lips, and dies down completely once they press closer together to get better access. They part for air briefly, and Kurt whispers, “When I got up this morning, I would have sworn this would be the last thing I’d ever say, but I’m pretty proud of myself for writing that email now.”

Blaine licks his bottom lip, chasing the faint taste of Kurt there. “I’m glad you wrote it, too.” This whole thing between them has lasted about a minute but he wants more so badly he feels like he’s physically incapable from drawing Kurt back in and kissing him again.

They keep at it until other students start to trickle into the room, and even then they share meaningful glances and press their ankles together between their chairs.

Between all the talking and kissing, Blaine didn’t get to eat his salad, so about halfway through the lecture, his stomach starts growling.

Kurt turns to him with a grin. “Forgot to eat?”

“I guess I was distracted.”

“Hm, by what, I wonder?” Kurt asks cheekily.

Blaine eyes his untouched salad in amusement. “I guess I got pretty egg-sited over this boy I like.”

It’s totally worth all the frustrated elbowing he gets in response.