#idk i just get fucking exhausted coming on here to be greeted by ppl going umm you stupid americans have no idea how important this is

[gibbearish]

oh boy its my favorite day where nonusamericans condescendingly explain to me that the election effects other countries too and therefore i need to be even more terrified than however terrified i already am

[lesbian-deadpool]

Hi, hm... idk if you've already talked about it bu, how would Nat announce her pregnancy to R ? Before that, how would she react when she , herselfe, found out she's pregnant ?

Okay, but like, this is like one of (if not the only thing) that makes me kinda sad ab wlw relationships (that doesn't involve hate from ppl), is the fact that you can't really surprise your partner with pregnancy. Bc like, that shit's cute af.

So, just for this hc, and well my own self indulgence on this, let's just imagine that Natasha gets pregnant somehow, to both the readers and her own surprise, without her being a cheater bc I see enough of that anyway lol

Natasha finding out:

She thought she was getting sick. That was the only thing that came to her mind. Natasha was coming down with something.

Not that she was pregnant.

It started one morning when she woke up and just instantaneously felt exhausted, which is unusual for the red-headed spy. Considering how much energy she normally has. But not that day, all she wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep for a week, at least. But alas, she had things she still had to do.

It was a fluke. Natasha assumed. Just a one off day, she just needed more sleep. Deciding that she would get to bed earlier that night, and everything would be back to normal the following morning.

It did not go back to normal.

It happened every day for weeks before Natasha concluded that is wasn't normal.

The next thing that seemed strange to her, was her total distaste for coffee now. When she used to love her morning cup, surrounded by her bickering team family, or relaxing in bed with you while you both blinked sleepily, still waking up from the night prior.

But now? Everytime she took a mouthful of the rich, bitter substance, she would like nothing less than to spit it right back out. Her nose wrinkling with newfound disgust for the drink.

It was so unusual that Tony couldn't help but comment on the fact, only causing Clint to gasp, insulted by Natasha's sudden shun of coffee.

Then it was her sore breasts.

Natasha couldn't wear half of her bras because of how much they would hurt her. They were sensitive to the touch, and on a few occasions they would even tingle.

One of the tings that grew to annoy her the most over those couple of weeks, where everything to seemed to be changing with her body and tastes, was how often she had to use the bathroom.

In Natasha's oppinion she felt like she was peeing more than she was breathing. You said that she was (obviously) being over-dramatic, and that she probably just had a water infection.

The final straw was when the nausea got to the week mark.

She felt sick from morning to night.

So much so that her apatite now fluctuated. One minute she couldn't eat a thing. And the next she was starving and only wanted to eat a nice big meal.

And yet. With how smart the spy is, she still didn't come to the realisation of, "Hey, I might be pregnant!"

It was only when she was watching a tv program with you, watching as a newly pregnant woman went through the symptoms. And you made the off handed comment of, "Everything is a pregnancy symptom, really."

That's when it dawned on Natasha. As you were listing off things- "Got a cough? Pregnant. Feeling sick? Pregnant. No period? Pregnant. Cat's rubbing up against your stomach? Pregnant. Sore tits? Ope, you're pregnant. Grandma made you some cookies? Pregnant." -that she was late on her period.

Fuck.

She bought a test that following day.

Well, in actuality, she bought five.

All different brands. All different prices.

And she was shitting herself.

She didn't tell you, she didn't want to freak you out or anything if she really wasn't pregnant.

Now she was just sitting with the nerves rattling inside her, as she waited for her phones timer to go off, so she could see the results.

And when it did, and she turned over each and every one of the tests, one after another, she was met with positive results.

Every one of them said that Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, was pregnant.

She didn't know how to react.

She just stood there for minutes, her mouth open slightly as the realisation poured into her.

She was pregnant.

And that scared the shit out of her.

In both good and bad ways.

But most of all, even though she knew that it would be best if she confirmed it with a Doctor, she couldn't wait to be a mother. It was something she had always secretly dreamed of.

And she couldn't help but crack a smile at that.

You finding out:

It had been almost a week since Natasha had taken those tests, and she went to the doctors that very same day for conformation.

And it was true.

Natasha really was pregnant.

Now, she just had to tell you.

And that scared her to her core. Even if she would rather fight a rampant rhino, than admit to that.

You two had been together for a little over two years, but you had never once talked about having kids and starting a family. Hell, you never even talked about wanting kids. For some reason it just never came up in your conversations.

And here she was, about to spring this onto you.

If Natasha knew if you wanted kids, she would probably have done this differently. More of a happy surprise, than this almost confession she had planned.

It was all set up. The pregnancy tests and doctors confirmation all lined out on the table, along with a glass and a bottle of whisky, ready for celebration or, what Natasha expect to be most likely, to dull the shocked pain.

Now all she had to do was wait until you got home.

And she didn't have to wait long. Because as soon as she placed the bottle of brown liquid onto the table, the door opened behind her, and in walked you.

"Hey, baby- What's wrong?" you were happy and chipper when you greeted her, but then you felt the anxiety rolling off of her tense frame in waves.

"I have to tell you something."

"You're not breaking up with me are you?" It was meant as a joke, but the scared honestly could be heard in it from miles away.

Natasha laughed lightly, "Of course not." And then she thought, 'but you might break up with me after I tell you this, though'.

"Then what's up?"

"Come over her." She waked you over to where she stood at the table.

Once you made it and saw what resided on the wooden surface, you realised what was happening right away.

But still, Natasha voiced, "I'm pregnant."

You were silent with shock for the first few minutes, which only increased Natasha's worry more and more.

"Is this a joke?" you had initially asked, "Because if it is, it's a well forged one." You gestured to the doctors letter before you. "And not funny."

"It's not a joke," she told you, "And I get it if you don't want this, but I'm keeping the baby. And if that means you don't want to be with me anymore and want nothing to do with the baby, I understand-"

"Woah, woah, woah," you stopped her from continuing with her rambling, "Who said I didn't want this?"

"Well, we never talked about this stuff," Natasha reasoned, "And with what you said-"

"I didn't want it to be a joke because I didn't want to get my hopes up."

"What?" she asked breathlessly.

"We're really having a baby?"

Natasha nodded slowly.

A squeal poured from her lips when you lifted her up and span her around where you stood, being mindful not to bump into anything.

"We're having a baby!"

"We're having a baby," Natasha nodded along with you, beyond happy that she was wrong in her expectations, all the while happy tears started to well up in her eyes as she watched your extatic self be almost giddy at the aspect of having a baby with the love of your life.

(You want more? Ask me how the team finds out lol)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

A Prompt

April 14th: What do you like about being autistic?

can be Hard To Say only because it's like, literally everything about me being an autistic person's Characteristics lol, and that like, that initial sense of Difference between myself and other people was like, noticing some sort of mismatch / misalignment, but also that i was the one feeling shut out / out of place about it, so it's defined in that negative way like, well i guess i'm doing things wrong somehow, and it all keeps being framed like, whenever it seems to stand out that there's something Different about myself, it's about trying to figure out what's wrong here, why some interaction isn't working or whatever, and when actually getting positive responses or whatever, it's doesn't quite feel so individual, like, oh i guess i'm just seeming normal to people here, right lol. but that, also, of course, things you Could consider positive / like about yourself sure might not be received / responded to in that way by other people, can't always even just feel neutral about anything / not notice it, even if it can't possibly actually Matter / isn't causing any kind of problem for anyone else it's like well why are you doing this unnecessarily & Weirdly.....and you know, pathological model vs social model, naturally, where i don't think "hey if this part of being autistic led to Negative Experiences, it's b/c being autistic is worse than being allistic and i wish i was allistic, b/c that's the only way to Not be, for example, objectively and rightfully excluded and punished by people around me" lmao

but for a start i saw some quote from an autistic person the other day mentioning just this sort of like, what they love about themself re: being autistic, and i remember one of them being You Mean What You Say lol, with the example "if i ask 'how are you' it's because i want to know how you are" lmao like yeah a really exhausting Greeting Ritual in particular when it's like, literally every time you hear that you have that awareness like "okay remember this person doesn't Actually want to hear about how you are," tbt to times like "when it's was really discouraging being texted regularly like 'what're you up to / how long will you be away' because for a sec i'd interpret it as 'this person is actually just asking what's up or wondering when you'll be around to hang out with, might be asking with the intention of making plans With you,' but then i have to remember it's about hoping i'm Away so my presence isn't interfering with what they want to do and of course it's not about genuine interest in my life/day otherwise or wanting to hang out" like, this shit is exhausting lmao. and you know, of course i know Different Communication Styles and how people will read different implications and intentions into the same kinds of interactions or behaviors or whatever, it's just Funny(tm) when like. some nt ppl think their social/communication styles are what's Objective, Universal, Correct, Intuitive, Effective, etc. like they'll be like "it's Great to say what you mean instead of Playing Games" and think autistic people are blunt / rude & it's b/c they're communicating Wrong, like actually you guys are saying you love ppl who are Real & Honest while being that post like "i love drama i love games if you fuck with my friends i will help you do it" lmaooo

also yknow to an Extent i think that like. sometimes just being very independently Enthusiastic about something can seem fun to nt people lol like, yes i can monologue about something aloud for 5 or 10 or 80 minutes maybe, or just you know, talk about it to myself via Posting lmfao, and sometimes that appeals to people or they at least regard it Neutrally because it's like. supposing that sometimes even when it's not something someone else is also interested in, idk, people are down for a like, individual experiences of unfettered expression of that passion lmao, but like, ftr i would hate instances of this as like a "because being enthusiastic like that is," deep inhale, "cute" or whatever, like, if i'm gonna talk about something it's a Lecture okay lmao. and plus i do plenty of it via Text lmfao, so, not many times i get to in person talk about whatever, or it'll be like, look at this video of a cool bird. i do not need someone's like, Personal Affection to find it Cute or Wholesome that i'm passionate about birds, or, god knows, fine anything else Cute, an assessment i never need or want, engage w/the information being shared please lmao. and then also, you know, i Draw Things based on it being v Of Interest lol so that's like, thank you to myself for having these Thoughts i want to express about Things Of Interest, i get to have fun like, just focusing in on what Creative Project i wanna do about it lol even if it's also like, boy, what if i could just have the idea and it'd Manifest, and you know, drawing is a way i am Talking About Something, certainly also if i'm dropping a tags essay about it lmao.........love to just delve tf into things and have all these thoughts & things to say about it, and really like, Exceptional when anyone wants to engage with this like, repeatedly / regularly lol. shoutout, Thanks, Epic

and well you know. i don't have any incredible specifics coming to mind here but in whatever ways i might think of things Differently it's like, hell yeah then, epic of me, i will be out here Figuring Shit Out even if i have to marinate on things, i'm sure motivated to engage with stuff that's Of Interest to me, when i have these solid ways to communicate with other people it's fun and flexible lmao, and i think there's that fun of being like, Performative in a way, theatricality, which i think like, maybe a source of that can be when you Have to be aware of the "rules" of interactions / social performance, but also how yknow, you can Act any way, there's nothing universal, there's maybe plenty of bullshit involved, hence how you can Have to be at least somewhat aware of things because you have to try to figure out the Secret rules and patterns and you know, simply Being Yourself and Behaving Naturally at all times isn't an option.....def have the Theatre type Theatrical thing lmao, the "theatre gay ft religious parents, enjoying harmonizing in the church choir lol i'm a Tenor babey" experience lmao, being in 4th grade auditioning for this set of play scenes like oh i get to be the main Antagonist guy? also i'm playing a guy? also i'm in this play and have lines and stuff? Hell yes lmao. and the Stage Performance via eventual roles via dance classes, i remembered the other week the studio i used to be at Used to have this like, idk, thing where the older dancers in a certain group maybe used to have a trip to nyc, think that fell away not long before i was one of those more Skilled Dancers like damnit, never really went to nyc except driving in and out to pick people up from the airport, like hey that distant smudge out the car window is probably the statue of liberty or something.....but the rehearsing and playing a Part and being in shows was. a ton of fun. i Said No to Stage Fright lmfao and really enjoyed being backstage and rehearsals and etc. but also i think i just Can be theatrical you know, in my own social approach lmfao, i'm big on talking with my hands lmao and i can get like, some Social Momentum going that way, i can have some confidence and can sort of hit that groove and it's like, not exactly masking trying to act """"normal"""" but i'm still Being Myself in this more "acceptable" way that nt people might better Understand or whatever. i also just like, personally, i love to be kind of theatrically Funny for sure lmfao and like, if people are just like overwhelmed by the least amount of goofiness / can't or won't play along at all i'm like, Please, work with me here lol, also like damn you live like this??? cmon lol

and well, nonconclusion, but it's pretty difficult to think of things like, what do i Dislike about being autistic which isn't about the way allistic ppl treat you sucks, like, e.g., it'll be like damn augh oof Misophonia, aural texture hell, hardly fun but that's not always a disaster, and as long as i can like, do something to block it out, and if i have to be like "hm this is distressing me b/c this noise is really really pissing me off lmao" as long as you know, i'm not amongst people who are just going to be annoyed at me for making up some problem and/or daring to speak about this experience inconveniently. be normal maybe. idk i'm just like right on, Myself