#might also be the Asexual in me

[buddieinmybeddie]

LGBTQ+ folk what was your gender/sexuality pipeline?

[witchinatree]

storytime invitation?? i guess thats what youd call it

how did you know you were aromantic/asexual/aroace?

i knew i was ace from the moment i learned what sex was, like ummm!!! you can keep that to yourself actually

i realized i was aro way later (after i made this post actually), after my first real break up and was kinda like.. that was NOT it???? idk my idea of romance has always been just cuddles and quality time and i realized that's not the same for other people ??? people actually have a DESIRE to kiss other people????? absolutely not.

[meaningless-mayhem]

Being asexual and possibly aromantic but also being a huge shipper and hopeless romantic is such a wild experience ngl. I'm always freaking out about my favorite ships and giggling internally reading ship fics, getting invested in characters finally kissing or reading about their pining and their love and I think "I want what they have!!"

But then sometimes you have a slamming realization that your sweet shipping scenarios you imagine in your head look totally different irl and that you are extremely aspec.

One time I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and stumbled across Vsauce's "Why Do We Kiss?" video and let me tell you. When I saw that stock video footage of two people kissing each other I was a little flabbergasted lmaooo

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Look like if I thought I could get away with it and if I was catholic or Christian or whatever I would definitely become a nun just to avoid the whole “you dating anyone?” “See anyone you like?” And the “so you’ve never dated?” Bullshit

[elasgottoomuchfreetime]

To all the girlies who watched at least one of these shows when they were kids/teens,

how hard did your queer awakening hit you?

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

looking back on the fic I've written in the last few years and my own sexuality journey has made me realize that there is an argument that poly folk and ace/aro folk process love in a lot of the same ways, like the idea that you can have significant, life-defining relationships with different people and you get something important and sometimes even a similar flavor from each relationship but each one is still fundamentally different and significant in its own way and sometimes you don't want sex but you do want hugs and your partner may be having sex with their other partner but that does not make your relationship any less important because they come back to hug you and having more hearts bound up in your own is never a bad thing, because being loved no matter the form is never a bad thing, you are lovable and you can love so many people and having a heart overflowing with love for other people and things and the universe just means that you're healing and finding the people who fit you in whatever way that comes and there will always be someone cooking in the kitchen filling your heart and stomach no matter what and in this essay i will-

[vroomvroomwee]

On today's question of "Am I aroace or is my genderqueer identity inhibiting me from being able to see myself in a relationship since I will be viewed as "the girl"" OR "Am I actually non-binary or is my aroace identity distancing me from womanhood since society defines a woman's worth based on her relationship with men and if she doesn't have that is she really a woman?" And the answer is I have no fucking clue

[puppyeared]

whenever someone asks me for help or advice i want to beam all my lived experience and advice that helped me through it directly into their mind to try and spare them as much pain and stress as possible, but because i cant actually do that what ends up happening is i dump everything i know related to that topic hoping something helps them like

[the-all-seeing-l]

Being asexual in a world of allosexuals sure feels like being a Beta in ABO society sometimes.

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

Hot take but the aggressive hardline separation of asexual and aromantic is actually EXTREMELY harmful to a lot of ace/aro people.

Angry rant under the cut

It's one to thing to go: "okay yes sometimes they go together but it's important to remember that for some people they can be different things and you can be one and not the other"

And go: "These are TOTALLY DIFFERENT 100 always separate there is no intersection EVER and if you DARE to be both then you have to piecemeal your identity to not uwu invalidate others(we do not care that we are invalidating you though lol) Don't you DARE ever experience them together you are CONFLATING"

It's like yall just want asexual to = alloromantic only and aromantic to = allosexual only.

You don't give a shit about aroaces, aces who aren't alloromantic but don't ID as aromantic or aros who aren't allosexual but don't ID as asexual.

The aspec community despises us. We get talked down to demanded to split our identities apart for your comfort. We can't exist in certain spaces because our presence there is a personal affront to allo-aspecs. Shout out to the alloaros that bitch about those disgusting aroaces just clogging up the aromantic tag ☺. Shout out to the alloaces who can still love and aren't totally heartless monsters 🥺.

Don't talk about ace shit in the aro tags, Don't talk about aro shit in the ace tags...what's that you're both? And can't neatly separate them and it brings you comfort to be able to discuss your whole orientation? SHUT THE FVCK UP YOU CONFLATING IGNORANT SHIT HEAD.

If you want to be in the aromantic community you have to leave your ace-ness at the door same for asexual community and disregarding your aromantism.

A personal example was an Aspec discord server I was in that had two media recs channels one for sex repulsed people and the other for romance repulsed. Now the issue came is that they didn't acknowledge someone could be both i.e both sex & romance repulsed/just looking for media that had neither sexual nor romantic content, what this lead too is that the romance free media channel was filled with graphic hookup erotica or sexually explicit songs and the sex free channel was just fade to black romance books 🙃...wonderful.

Or when polls/forms will ask you to pick your orientation but only things listed are het,gay,bi/pan yes even the ones made by aspecs, and what they actually mean is use the one that correlates to your romantic/sexual attraction...so fvck aroaces and non sam aces & aros?

And don't get me started on how you treat non sam aces & aros. You at least tolerate the self IDing aroaces, because they have the "curtesy" of separating themselves from the real proper aces & aros.(let's not question how many aroaces would prefer to just ID as just asexual or just aromantic but are forced into aroace identity because that would be "conflating" and they don't want to deal with the harassment).

"UwU don't say asexual when you actually mean aromantic" Some bitches don't use to SAM fvck off with allo-splaining my own sexuality to me.

It would be so much easier and save a lot of pain if yall just went : "asexual for some means no sexual attraction and it says nothing of your romantic attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally". And "aromantic for some means no romantic attraction and it says nothing of your sexual attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally" and "for some they are separated but others not so much as there isn't always a strict separation. Just be chill about it don't accuse people of being ignorant or conflating they know their identities better than you". But no ya chose violent aphobia instead.

But ultimately nobody cares because this shit is only harming the undesirable aces/aros the ones who are harmful stereotypes the ones that make you "look bad".

I know deep in my heart there are a lot of alloaces & alloaros that who would be happy if aroaces & non sam aces/aros didn't exist, there I said it. How can I not come to that conclusion when at every turn they shit on us. They talk about how the worst thing in the world is to be mistaken for one of us. That our representation is actively harmful.

A last parting spicy take it's either "asexulity and aromantism are full identities on their own and aren't modifiers" OR "actually neither asexual nor aromantic can stand on their own they need to be paired with another orientation and they actually are just modifiers" you can't have it both ways. 🤭

[celestiachan]

got curious is not being able to feel jealousy is just a me thing so

reblog if you vote pretty please

[redysetdare]

I keep seeing posts where people are saying "Valentines doesn't effect asexuals!" "romantic relationships have nothing to do with asexuality!" And while i understand the point they are making is to stop conflating Aromanticism with Asexuality, it is still extremely annoying to find people don't understand the nuance that comes with asexualities connection to romance - because it DOES have a connection to it. It DOES have problems in relation to romance. To say it doesn't is ignoring a huge set is experiences that ace people face.

One of the most common experiences for asexuals is the struggle to be in romantic relationships because they are asexual. a lot of romantic relationships expect you to have sex. if you're someone who doesn't have sex then unfortunately that causes a lot of people to lose interest in you romantically as well.

There's also non-sam aces, and let me tell you it's so very strange to hear someone bring up non-sam aros but then ignore the existence of non-sam aces in order to prove some point of it somehow being ace peoples fault that aro and ace are viewed as the same. Some non-sam aces do not date either. they are still ace and they can still face similar problems to aromantic people because of that. they are still effected my amatonormativity.

Aces DO have connection to romance. Asexual DID have a reason to trend on valentines day along with Aro and Aroace. Asexuality is effected my romance and amatonormativity. Sop acting like it isn't. stop acting like aros and aces have absolutely nothing in common. We can work together and have similar experiences and still be seen as separate identities. there is overlap. stop treating this as black and white where one identity can only be effected by one kind of problem. It's naive at best and down right hateful at worse.

[icarus-last-fall]

okay so wrong fandom, wrong character, wrong everything but

asexual Newt Scamander

it just makes so much sense in my head, he’s ace but at first he doesn’t know it cause like he’s the type to learn how babies are made just because of magical creatures and he has a very scientific vision of it like it’s just a way of reproduction and he figures everyone feels like that and then one day queenie reads his mind and talks to him about this and he learns that a majority of people actually enjoy sex and the idea of it and oh he’s asexual

I hope this makes sense somehow

[randomwriteronline]

The brain has been plagued with thoughts of ackar and mata nui romance hours, specifically mata nui only ever referring to ackar as a friend bc he values that friendship more than whatever else they might have and also he doesnt like any other term. Like, boyfriend is redundant, husband is incorrect and partner is too professional. He does also add adjectives like dear, beloved or sweet sometimes. first time mata nui calls him "my sweet friend" ackar almost dies bc thats most intimately fond thing anybody ever said to him

Im also thinking of my mata nui 3.0 thing where he has a fucked up long ass tongue and him shoving it directly down ackars throat bc he has a very loose idea of how making out works. when he finally pulls it back out and sees his friend sputter for air he goes oh no are you alright? and ackar is like (hoarsely, so aroused his toes are falling off) NEVER BEEN BETTER

[starrytalking]

A friend of mine is posting stuff on threads and I got it too so that I could read their funny little posts but I don’t feel super comfy to post completely open stuff there too cause I’m not out to like my family and stuff and it’s linked to my Instagram account (also I made it a private account which seems kinda pointless) and I realised that what they use threads for comes close to what I use tumblr for (just that me texts here are longer that a typical threads post seems to be) and that i actually would be comfy to show them my tumblr I think. Is this what having a friendship and being completely open is about????

[braidedhades]

just found out that non-aromantics actually have feelings towards the people they decide to have a crush on. Apparently it’s not like, “hmmm should I consider this person for dating? what are the pros and cons here?” Or like, “I want to be really close friends with that person” But it’s like an actual emotional response or something? An emotion that is different from the “I wanna be really close friends” emotion??

also I just figured out that I’m aromantic