#and I don’t feel like spiting them
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Look like if I thought I could get away with it and if I was catholic or Christian or whatever I would definitely become a nun just to avoid the whole “you dating anyone?” “See anyone you like?” And the “so you’ve never dated?” Bullshit
#also I’m like#pagan#I worship a very specific set of gods#and goddesses and muses#and I don’t feel like spiting them#they might smite me#asexual#aromantic#aroace#ace#aro
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I made a lmk oc
#they’re supposed to be some sort of experiment to see if people could recreate Sun Wukongs stone egg. the goal was to make a more controlled#and tame version using carved wood and cultivation. but eventually they got worried about it becoming too powerful and scrapped it#eventually they come to life and live in the abandoned temple they were built in#their bottom half is made of wood because when they came to life their creator/s left them unfinished when they scrapped the project#they had to carve the rest of their body out of hunger and frustration because they couldn’t eat or move much by crawling on their top half#this is also why they spite their creators and hate irresponsible creation. because of abandonment issues and feeling like they have no#purpose or direction in life#their power is also very limited to due being man made since they were originally a wood carving#meo gave me the idea but one reason would be because they’re half finished. the sculpture was still half stump so it was completely untouche#that half can channel power in its raw form but the other half cannot once it’s been carved by man#so technically they could have the same level or potential for power as the stone but that was dampened#the other thing is how they were created to be a duplicate or recreation of a stone monkey and a celestial looked at that and was like#‘we’re not doing that again’ LMAO#i think the case of them carving their own legs doesn’t take away their power though. that balance was made#before they came to life so carving the legs or not can’t affect it anymore. like making a cake and slicing it#their energy levels are also naturally low because of that so their movements are sluggish and they aren’t very active overall#constantly lying in the sun to charge their batteries and get some stuff done. just like me fr#I actually don’t know what I’m gonna do with this character besides Put Them In Situations with other ppls ocs.. so if you have#a lmk oc you have been warned /lh /j#I wanna make some backstory art for them though.. maybe even the animatic treatment if I can get through dear wormwood which is 25#SECONDS OUT OF 3 MIN BTW#doodles#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk oc#monkie kid oc#myart#my art#xin ya
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I’ve been lurking in the 911 tags for only a week and I’m already exhausted of most b*ddie shippers holy shit
#the annoying ones know who they are#this isn’t a personal attack#I truly don’t want them to become canon out of spite#why even tag your hate in the goddam tag dedicated to another ship#Tommy’s tag has a lot of hate and people talking about eddie how there’s clues etc etc#I haven’t been deeply involved in fandoms in the last few years for this exact reason#when it becomes too meta it kinda ruins it for me#people digging through interviews and trying to find evidence in situations that weren’t intended that way in the writing drains you#sorry to break it to you#but Bucky is into tommy and was since the beginning of meeting him#yall going#well actually#he’s in love with eddie but doesn’t know and misplaces it with Tommy#is tiring#I don’t know if b*ddie will be canon but not everything has to be about romance with them#they seem to have a connection that goes even deeper than romance#having them be a couple just kinda irks me#they don’t need to be two bros sitting in a bathtub five feet apart but they seem like soulmates in a way that I don’t see as romantic#I say as an aromantic person too#deep connections can be just as intense and interesting if even more than coupling up#obviously not tagging the ship name cause I’d be lynched if I do#and again this isn’t about the actual ship it’s more about the fandom and how they feel entitled to claim theories as facts#lety rambles#tommy kinard#tevan#tuck#911#911 abc#911 show#bucktommy
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yeah I know Luke’s been running around saying he ‘can be a bit of a pessimist’ but I just wanna give him a little bit more credit than that. he’s been through so much and yet we’ll hear him talking about times that are ‘marred with trauma’ but still he can’t ever regret for getting him to where he is today. this whole year he’s been making an effort to do things that scare him and he even finds hard, he’s been pushing himself out of his comfort zone and doing 1000 solo interviews as well as his shows and last year he went to bogota to film 7 music videos in 2 days and believed he could do it and he did. he talks about mental health related things in such a way that’s filled with acceptance, not complaint or bitterness but dare I say even optimism, dropping horrifying little descriptions to already heartbreaking songs since 2021 and then turning around and saying writing songs is what gets him through it, he ‘wouldn’t have a good relationship with anything’ if he didn’t make them but he’s super proud of himself after and wasn’t put off by how much work it was gonna be even though it did make him apprehensive and he goes and mentions how it wasn’t easy. you look at everything we know of him for the last decade and a half and realise, maybe it was never easy. but someone once described optimism as curiosity + resilience rather than being naively happy all the time in denial of everything going on around. and with that active brain and all the things he figures out while writing all his beautiful songs there’s definitely curiosity there. and with everything he’s been through to keep choosing to be himself and do whatever he needs to do there’s so much resilience. and I’ve seen this spirit in the songs of sounds good feels good and 5sos5, as well as littered through wfttwtaf and boy; every project being a quiet, kinda emo, statement of survival. I’m just one fan with too many opinions but this is something I’ve always loved about the band, and a decent portion of it was always brought to the table by luke and idk I just think we should acknowledge it
#I feel like I’ve been trying to say this for ages—you can struggle with mental illness and still be optimistic and have a growth mindset etc#or cultivate those things if that’s what you wanna work on#didn’t really mean to use luke as an example but oh well#was thinking about the south sydney girlies who go through life with the most debilitating mental illnesses and acknowledge the pain etc#but don’t let it make us think our lives are ruined even if only purely out of spite. and there I’m referring to my friend group of course#can’t draw that link any further but it’s there in the culture and that’s one of my favourite things. plus there’s the whole way when#you’re nurturing neurodivergent kids in an area without heaps of supports you always focus on building confidence in what they’re good at#and I’m forever grateful that kinda summarises everything liz hemmings does and I bet being raised like that is a safety net against a lot#really hope they’re all super proud of that#luke hemmings#5 seconds of summer#5sos#wfttwtaf#boy ep#I’ll have praises for all 4 of them pop up from time to time btw
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me: hey, so i feel like you maybe disregarded my saying that caretaking on top of work and school and pre-planned travel is a lot for me right now and i’m not comfortable with all of that pressure being on me alone when i wanna make sure you guys have everything you need when i’m not around…
my family: of COURSE we heard you, that’s why we started doing a bunch of things by ourselves at great cost to our physical well-being instead of asking you for help!!!!!!
me:
#my number one emotion right now is wanting to move across the country out of spite as soon as my mom is fully mobile again#i am sooooooooo done#i had recommended looking into options for home care and my mom supposedly did#but then today she was like ‘idk… there’s just nothing that isn’t medical… there’s no options’#so i googled ‘caretaker help [name of our city]’ and found dozens of people IMMEDIATELY#sent her several links#idk i’m just really pissed off#all i’m suggesting that they do is make a plan in case something like this happens again#and they seem FLABBERGASTED#my mom-mom literally said to me multiple times ‘people don’t usually plan for bad things happening to them’#and it’s like. dude. your daughter is literally lying there in a cast right now bc she fell down the goddamn stairs#the bad thing DID happen!!!!!!!#so now that you’re THINKING ABOUT IT maybe make a plan for next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i was VERY nice about it#no bad words… no insults… measured and calm tone…#but they were treating me like i was being crazy and unreasonable and i just don’t GET it…#i know it can be hard to ask for help but this is honestly delusional#my mom hasn’t taken a vacation in over three years because she’s NEVER looked into home care before#and neither she nor my mom-mom are happy about that… they’re always venting to me about it#my mom about how she wants to get out more and my mom-mom about how she feels like a burden#and it’s like. my dudes…#just hire someone!!!!!#like. three hours a day tops… just to check in!!!!!#it wouldn’t be that hard!!!!!!!#am i nuts?????? someone reality check me please#i need something firm to grasp onto
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srry for all the joanfk reblogs im tired n I was in the mood to look at these beautiful pieces they are so tasty and they are so wonderful and I love em
Im the only joanfker left n that’s ok <3
(Now if only I can actually post how I do my fav clone babies now)
#the memories are nice m#I do miss you all#it’s kinda sad that like I’m prob the only consistent joanfk fan left#I mean it’s not the end of the world but it does make me feel lonely#maybe there’s a bunch of sleepy joanfkers in their hermit shell#but I still do draw my babies they are very important to me#I don’t draw them out of spite#I just feel happy to pair them canon or not#they make me feel comfortable and happy and i want to continue to draw them and their relationship#I love you joanfk#to another 20 and then another and then anoth#I have updated designs n info bout em and I hope I can post bout it someday
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having loop and nameless bard interacting thoughts again. the rot
#they would. bond over so much#particularly i think over them thinking of themselves as irredeemable#but i also think theyd both manhandle each other out of those thoughts with the force of a semi truck#there’s no going back. let’s try to find a way forward#I ALSO THINK#that even though bard has a couple fifty walls up hed be Very Upfront with loop#you are my friend and i think of you very fondly. i will tell you as much as many times as it takes. you are worth every penny of my—#—attention because seeing you happy makes me happy. if anything were to happen to you id hit it with my lyre#yes this includes your bad thoughts direct me towards them >:(#loop trying to hold back the biggest sob of their life: i don’t think that’s possible#bard feels like the kind of person to just straight up tell you what he thinks. it does take a few weeks of further warming up but#it will be done !!#also been thinking of the very silly image of both of them declaring themselves atheists despite the fact that they Are Very Aware that#otherworldly beings exist and listen#just to spite them.#would loop try to get bard to help them successfully tell the change god and maybe universe to fuck off#bard voice hm. if there is a will there is a way !!! it certainly cannot be harder than actively overthrowing them no#loop voice Repeat That Last Part ?#would there also be any impulse control between them . or would it just bounce back and forth#loop holding a torch: this will solve our problems :]#bard gently taking it from them: no no this will cause a bigger fire. we need to go smaller. and a less dense area#<- bard would be so ready to kick the shit out of the king too#bard cracking his knuckles: AND he’s not divine ?? this will be delightful.#<- you see. the rot#lantern says stuff
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all the pet advice I see comes down to two things; 1) Treat your animals as if they have their own feelings and wants and needs, because they do. 2) For fucks sake stop assuming your animal is smart enough to even want to spite you in the first place. Clearly their needs aren’t being met. Do something about that instead of punishing them for your failure.
#and they’re both right!!#bc like no Barbara your dog isn’t chewing on the couch to spite you#it’s just a working dog that isn’t played with or given a job#or um actually no your cat isn’t attacking you out of nowhere#you’re upsetting it and refusing to leave it be#so they’re resorting to biting and scratching because that’s all you respond to#or idk they just don’t fucking feel good and you should probably take them to the vet about it#idk man it’s just#it’s so easy to me???#it’s so intuitive#and maybe that’s bc I grew up around animals#and because I actually pay attention to their behaviors and don’t force them into things unless 100% necessary#but like come on#that’s a living breathing thing#you gotta stop expecting it to be anything else
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Kaeya most definitely made at least one joke about how bc Addie and Elzer helped keep him alive during Luc’s Adventurous 4yrs Adventures Abroad, he was gonna make himself their problem.
Addie will never forget to bring up he has yet to make good on his threat every time he visits.
#hc; kaeya#Kae: You saved my life. now you’re never gonna get rid of me. I might just stick around & make yall miserable lol#Addie: fucken BET#//Every time he rolls around to the Winery on business after that she’s just Where is the misery you promised Master Kaeya :)#//‘Thought you said we’d never be rid of you :)’ ‘Addie I—‘ ‘You wouldt DARE lie to me would u Master Kaeya? :)’#//Elzer is more low key abt it#//But in a silly way that sounds awful out of context#//Like ‘Y’know; we could always use a little more misery around here. why don’t you stick around longer :)’#//Everybody and Luc stares blankly in disbelief and or confusion; meanwhile Addie’s lurking nearby while Kae’s sweatin bullets#//Just ‘why won’t they let that GO: aaaaAAAAA-‘#//Luc learning abt the bit might make Kae tormenting him at the tavern go down easier#//Like ‘Ah; he’s here to deliver the misery he promised :)’#//Only to regret everything and his life choices(/j) the INSTANT Kae opens his mouth#//Each time he sees him dropping by to clown; he rests a little easier knowing Kae is sticking around; however it goes down#//Has a heckin STRESS every time he decides to Cats Tail instead#hc; diluc#//Sigh; that goes there now hdbdb#//do I need to tag for the dark humor. and if so how#//Anywho back on subject; Kae would crack jokes abt this to exceedingly close ppl like Jean or Varka; too#//He got a MASSIVE lecture from each of them the first and only times he cracked that sort of joke#//Abt how important he in fact rlly IS to them; and misery is the LAST thing he’d EVER give them#//Which hurt him more than them insulting or denouncing him bc NOW he feels guilty & anxious#//Like he feels he inevitably WILL bring them misery; no matter how hard he strives otherwise#//And boy oh BOY would he try to avoid it for them in particular; just as he would Addie and Elzer#//Luc; he’s just being a LIL bit spiteful; LIL bit attention seeking#//Getting attention/keeping him in his life the best way he knows how without worrying Luc will see it as a sign to try & bridge the gap
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it’s probably log off time for me, but it’s so nasty when some people with an online presence are primarily motivated by being mean and feeling right. shitty little freaks those types are. can’t stand them at all. they can’t even sort out basic information, such as, if you’re so upset your vision begins to blur, it’s probably not the best time to engage in civil conversation.
#sometimes i just feel so alienated because I’m surrounded by unkind people#who have no care to hear about how unkind they are#even though they live a life of relative peace and comfort#even though they have a lot to say about the necessity of violence in spite of never throwing a punch#I just honestly don’t have any respect for someone cut from a cloth like this#I don’t know what it is about it but it makes them insufferable
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hm. having a mini gender crisis in the middle of my shift again
#pentababbles#good LORD is this getting annoying#got hit by a sudden dysphoria attack while talking to a girl and had to ask myself:#am I a trans guy or just really really butch??#like I feel. othered. from cishet women with my alternate lifestyle in spite of both sharing space with them AND being attracted to them#even though I know they see me as one of them so immediately I am Not a Threat despite not performing femininity very well#and I feel no communion or comraderie with cishet men. despite longing to emulate aspects of their performances#I don’t really wanna be seen as a ‘man’ but I don’t wanna be seen as a woman either#to women I want to be seen as an object of attraction. to my friends I want to be seen as masc. to men I want to be seen as a threat#and these things don’t all automatically line up with being a man…#I think I would be more comfortable with femininity if I was at least allowed to be masculine first.#like. I NEED to go shopping in the men’s section so so bad#I’d really like to start taking t. on a low dose#just for a little while then stop once I achieve certain permanent changes I want (low voice + bottom growth)#I wanna get back into exercising to trim some fat#specifically the fat in more feminine areas. I really want that Britney Griner type chest#I’ve also contemplated the name ‘Abraham’ for my irls to call me when I feel less femme#kinda like my butch bartender oc Quincy except I’m. not that muscular and not a she/her#although I’d probably be more comfortable with she/her if I wasn’t forced into femininity so often#I think at the end of the day though. I’m not a trans guy just a weird dyke#bc I like feminine labels specifically in a lesbian manner: I’m okay with being called girlfriend or wife but not with daughter or sister#I’m dykegender. does all that make sense
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So there’s this kid I work with who screams and kicks people for 20+ minutes straight because they don’t want to do a single worksheet. I don’t blame the kid though; there are absolutely zero expectations at home and all they eat is sugar, which can’t be good for their mood. I’ve been trying to think of ways for all the kids there to engage in healthier behaviors; but I’m specifically focusing on the ones with dire conditions (such as refusing to drink water, not eating enough, or harming people (which will put them in danger as an adult)).
Today I put a letters puzzle on a different kid’s desk to keep them occupied and this kid just walked over and did it because they’re a perfectionist and need everything in its place. Maybe I can put the letters puzzle on their desk to lure them there and then replace it with worksheets once they’re finished (to ease the transition), and that way I don’t have to physically carry an 80 pound child to their desk multiple times a day, and said kid doesn’t have to endure me carrying them. Ohhhhhhhhh my god that might work
Now I need to find a way to get them to drink water and eat more nutritious food. I can try the chart thing but idk if it’ll work on this kid. I can’t use candy as an incentive because they don’t like candy…
hmmmmmm
#Being in early education is basically getting paid to trick little children#It sounds bad but that’s literally what it is. There are multiple power dynamics at play and you need to know how to use them gently#But yeah any trickery that replaces carrying a kid is good trickery. I try to do that as little as possible#for the sake of their senses and my knees#but at some point the kid has to learn when they are at school; but are they learning if they’re kicking and screaming? No#If I had been placed here earlier in the year I might have thought of this (or something else) sooner and saved this kid a lot of grief#I still have to try it but I think it’ll work#It sucks because everyone I work with seems really burned out#and they don’t feel like — or have the time to — seriously brainstorm anything#So they get irritated with the kids and keep jamming the same techniques into them hoping this time it’ll be different#or maybe at this point it’s out of spite#Everything seems like it’s out of spite. The catty behavior from some people I am not close to bleeds through into everyone’s mood#and affects people who want no part in creating a toxic workplace#Like yeah the kids have issues but certain adults need to stop the fucking drama for TWO SECONDS#Fortunately I’m untouched by the social aspect of working because I don’t get involved in it very much#and I’m sort of new#and everyone loves me (for now LOL)
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i can’t tell you how ANNOYED i am
like genuinely im so annoyed. all this man has done is wax on and on poetics about the great character of all the people involved in this story but the second anything bad happens to these characters it’s just nah that’s too much let’s focus on something else
killing maiming etc
#it’s literally the opposite of wuthering heights#in wuthering heights everyone is so horrible that it becomes boring almost#in this book everyone is so ‘perfect’ that j don’t give a shit bout none of them#not my brain being like rewrite this shit for your own sanity#i probably won’t but i fucking might#out of spite#i’m so ANGRY LMAOOO#LET UR AUDIENCE FEEL THINGS YOU DICK#ren reads
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every time I leave a long, thoughtful comment on a fanfic where I put genuine thought and interest into what the author is trying to communicate to me, and don’t receive any reply, I get more and more pissed about people whining about never getting comments.
maybe the reason you’re not getting any comments is that people see the wasteland of comments on your work that received no reply and think that it would be a waste of time to comment. you can make all the pinkie promises you want that you super duper appreciate comments, but if you don’t actually show that in your work or reply, there’s no difference between your week old fic with no replies and a fic from 2007 left abandoned and dead, and you’re essentially arguing that you both deserve engagement for existing, while also claiming you have no responsibility whatsoever to engage back.
maybe engage with your audience a little and your audience will engage with you!
#also to be clear week old is an exaggeration but like if I see month old questions unanswered what am I gonna think?#“Golly gee this person sure cares about feedback!”#to be fair I am constantly online#and thus perceive the amount of time it takes to respond to a comment as much longer than it likely objectively is#and I’m also a bitter weirdo at night in ways that I don’t feel in the morning#so this is a spiteful rant I don’t actually 100% agree with#although actually genuinely#talk to your readers#most of my lifelong friends are people I met online#because I actively engaged with their comments over time and developed a relationship with them#and those four or five people are worth thousands of times more than shallow fame#if you want comments you have to reckon with the fact that commenters are just like you#they took the time out of their lives to comment on your work#the least you can do is pay them the same favor back#Fanfic discourse#fanfiction#fanfics#fanfiction discourse#fandom#writing#commenting#comments#rant#rantings#discourse
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playing p5t rn and one of the original characters (under the impression that the main antagonist is why the phantom thieves look like That) was like “damn it’s fucked up that you (ann) had to wear that costume” just so that she could get mad at him ooooooh persona 5 writers none of you are seeing heaven
#dunno if i can explain this eloquently but it definitely feels like snide jab at people who critique ann’s portrayal#“guys you don’t understand she WANTS to wear her incredibly revealing outfit that we put her in :(#and uhhh if you think we’re weird for doing that then just know that you’re denying her (the fictional character that we wrote) agency btw”#god i’m a sucker for tactical rpgs so the game’s fun do so far i guess#but it’s so sad realizing that the p5 cast brings me no joy anymore#nothing but dread and spite and exhaustion now#because no piece of p5 media has EVER done them justice and i’m losing the patience to put up with it ngl#what the fuck ever. erina is fun i guess#so is toshiro (specifically in the sense that i need him to be my housewife)#j txt
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am i exaggerating or is it an absolute insane thing to do to threaten someone that you’re not going to eat if they won’t either
#its not even like an ed thing Im just not In the mood to eat rn and they think that means Im starving myself on purpose to upset them#they do this w health too#the other day I left my sweater in the car cuz I wasn’t cold at all and they loudly proclaimed that they weren’t going to take one either#like out of spite cuz I’m not ‘taking care of myself’#i just wasn’t fucking cold#and they get colder easier than I do like ??? what the fuck is wrong w you#hate when they try to guilt me into doing shit I just gen don’t wanna do and thinking that it’s gonna help me#theyre more susceptible to health probs too that’s why they do it cuz they know I’ll feel bad abt it#personal rant#rant post
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