#gray asexual

[sminny-wew]

It's so funny being a shipper when you're aroace it's like you're an anthropologist, like hey fictional blorbos who live in my head let me study your bonds under a microscope and take notes on what happens when I throw Valentines Day into your enclosure

[gray-ace-space]

a while back i posted screenshots of a conversation with a demi friend who afaik is otherwise cishet and extremely not on tumblr. i guess he's just gonna be a recurring character on this blog.

here is me (badly) explaining the deal with unicorns and dragons to him, and a message he had for acespecs in response.

make armadillo ace a thing. do it for him.

[redbeardace]

It's Ace Week!

[fixing-bad-posts]

Asexual is an orientation that means you don't experience sexual attraction. Demis/Grays r asexual/ace and i am inclusive. we aren't alone.

[cookiekat-blogz]

halfway through my pride pfp and I’m realizing I might be cupiosexual… 😕

happy pride month especially to the aroace-specs who are still struggling to find an identity that fits

[ineffectualdemon]

My life has been a series of me going:

"I'm not X I just understand them! They make so much sense! Why don't other people agree with them more?"

Only to find out much later that I am X

[cookthepenguin]

reminder that asexuality is still classified as a mental disorder

[queerspectral]

Shoutout to aspecs who have dated/had sex but don't want to do so again.

Whether you thought you wanted it but later realised you didn't...

Whether you knew at the time you were just giving in to societal pressures but tried it anyway...

Whether you genuinely did want it at the time but don't any more...

Whether it was a great experience at the time or a terrible one...

Whatever the reason, it's okay to just. Stop.

You can always, always change your mind about whether dating or sex are things you want in your life. Maybe they once were. Doesn't mean they have to be now.

[crystalsandbubbletea]

Just found an exclusionist who claimed asexual can't be a spectrum 💀

The username is @/girloninterweb

[moraent-keys]

I know this is really late but-

A bunch of asexual headcanons for national asexuality day!

Ignore that Alastor is just straight up canon

Closeups

[yourdailyqueer]

Celia Rose Gooding

Gender: Queer (she/they)

Sexuality: Bisexual, gray asexual

DOB: 22 February 2000

Ethnicity: African American

Occupation: Actor, singer, activist

[sminny-wew]

I had a long discussion with friends earlier about the gender bias in how YA books are marketed and it somehow evolved into me saying "We need more fiction that questions the concept of attraction itself"

We got into how easily romance can be latched onto other genres (romantic comedy, romantic drama, fantasy romance, historical romance, etc.) and I started asking myself what an arocom (aromantic comedy) would look like. I decided, based on an old Tumblr post I can't find that joked about some comedy movie being aro representation b/c it had no romance, that it can't just be "a comedy with no romance at all", because then that's just a regular old comedy. By that logic, SpongeBob would be an arocom, which doesn't make sense b/c it largely focuses on non-romantic plots (SpongeBob working at his job, failing to get his license, the general shenanigans he and his friends get into) and only addresses romance sparingly, depending on the plot of an episode.

It sucks to admit but at least from my perspective, in order for a piece of media to qualify as "aromantic/asexual media" in the heavily sex- and romance-catered media landscape, it kinda needs to address sex and romance in the first place. As wonderful as it would be to escape for a few hours to a book or show or game where romance isn't addressed at all and think of that as aro rep, you can't really call attention to a character's lack of romantic or sexual attraction without acknowledging, even indirectly, that those exact things exist within the text.

I'm not saying sex and romance are inherently bad either. There are aces who engage in sexual activities, aros who date, folks on both spectrums who engage in kink because kink is not inherently sexual and just approach relationships in so many incredibly nuanced ways. It's not just about aspecs also having parents and siblings and pets either, we have friends and coworkers and neighbors. We have interests and skills and hobbies. But it's not just the cishets who place sex and romance on such a high pedestal as "fundamental aspects of what makes people human", I see it within the LGBT community too. There are more than a few openly queer folks out there who don't know or have forgotten that because asexuality and aromanticism are a lack or absence of attraction (and thus a lack/absence of conformist heterosexuality), that we are, to varying degrees, queer as well. And thus media with aroace subtext (or just text for that matter) tends to get excluded from discussions of queer subtext.

I feel like I got a little off-topic and rambly but Idk I just think we need more aspec fiction where people are free to explore all spectrums of attraction as much as they want, ask questions about what defines a relationship, and just generally bear in mind relationship anarchy when they create. I'd like to see it in mainstream media but I'd also like to see it in fanfic too

(Btw everything I just said also extends to people who are poly)

[gray-ace-space]

interested in sex the same way you can be a sports fan without ever playing a single sport

*reading absolute filth and humming thoughtfully* fascinating.

[minniiaa]

Education on sexual identity is important because after 15 years of failed relationships it wasn’t until I discovered I was actually just aspec that I was able to stop blaming myself and realize I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole.

I’ve had a lot of LGBT friends in my life and I always fully understood that I didn’t fall into any of those categories but there was always something that felt wrong. However, in my teens/early 20s, there wasn’t really a gray area, at least in the communities I was a part of.

It wasn’t until I rejoined the fanfic community and tumblr last year that I learned more about asexuality, specifically gray asexuality and realized “oh. yeah. that makes sense. That’s me.” and suddenly everything in my life beforehand made a lot more sense.

I’ve never actually spoken about it publicly, and probably never will. I breached the topic with my family one time and they said it was “weird” and they couldn’t understand it. And frankly, I am not a person who exists to be perceived and accepted in this point in my life so I am not looking for their approval.

But it makes me happy that the spread of media and shared experiences is allowing the younger generation understand themselves better than ever, so teens and young adults alike will be able to know themselves for who they are from the start and not having to spend years wondering why they can’t love the “normal” way.

As for me, I’m just a washed up almost 30 year old who will continue to be looked down on for choosing to be alone, but that’s fine with me. I know I’m NOT alone and that my choice is the correct one so that’s all that really matters in the end. 💜

[scretladyspider]

It really shouldn’t matter if aces do or don’t have sex or masturbate. Like yeah some of us do and learning that helps a lot of aces figure out they’re ace, but the people obsessed with our sexual activity or lack thereof are always TERFs. why do you care. it does not matter.

It doesn’t invalidate our aceness if we do. It won’t change your mind if we don’t. So why care so much? Or rather, why are you bothered by people being secure in who they are? It really just reveals your insecurities when you get so angry about it.

It reminds me of how in middle school one girl would share an insecurity and another would get angry because “she’s clearly talking about me!” when she was never even mentioned. It wasn’t about you. and that’s okay.

[daisyishedwig]

Does anyone have any good books with adult aspec characters in them? I'm brainstorming Christmas gifts for my sister and she's gray ace and I really want to give her books that represent that part of her, but aside from Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle and How to Sell Your Blood and Fall in Love by D.N. Bryn all the other books with aspec characters I can think of are YA and she's in her thirties so id like older characters.

So, any recommendations?