#relationship anarchy

[ale-arro]

the annoying thing about unpacking amatonormativity is that it is both an internal and external force. and so i do all of the work of unpacking my internal amatonormativity, like ok the hierarchy of relationship types is bullshit and built on systems of power, you can do whatever with whoever, etc. etc., but i can't actually do whatever with whoever, because i still live in a world that's amatonormative, and so nobody will do whatever with me. and in turn this makes unlearning the fact that internal amatonormativity wants me to incredibly lonely when i am single very very hard because well. um. i am lonely. for a real and concrete reason outside of my control

[sminny-wew]

It's so funny being a shipper when you're aroace it's like you're an anthropologist, like hey fictional blorbos who live in my head let me study your bonds under a microscope and take notes on what happens when I throw Valentines Day into your enclosure

[lovequeerblog]

Ok something I absolutely love is going full science nerd when it comes to relationships and making charts! When working on my previous post on the split attraction model (see link below) I started playing with radar charts for mapping different types and intensities of attraction and I just had to turn this into a little worksheet for mapping out attraction in relationships

And here's just the attraction chart:

I'm not looking to build new relationships at the moment but I am totally the sort of person who would whip this out on a date (I have an entire power point on platonic partnership that I do in fact use to ask people to be in a relationship with me. Yes this has worked. More than once :) )

[aroaceenjolras]

I think we should like, encourage people to be wacky and incomprehensible in how they discuss their close relationships it's literally the only thing that'll save us from amatonormativity. Make up words. Don't be limited to "oh that's my partner/spouse/qpp/ et cetera." If none of those words make you feel something then find one that does. Even if you have to invent it.

[agrebel18]

i love you polyamorous relationships, open relationships, friends with benefits/friends that have sex with each other, queerplatonic relationships, friendships that have some weird queer element to it, relationship anarchy, staying single and i love anything that doesn't match what society considers "normal"

[several-mice]

guys this pride month everyone should get more anarchical with all their relationships. there is no relationship hierarchy! the only people who define what a relationship is are the people in it! friends can cuddle and kiss and have sex and still just be friends, romantic partners can do none of these things and still be romantic partners! queer platonic relationships are a valid and beautiful kind of relationship that can be defined how ever you want! all relationships whether platonic, romantic, sexual, or queer platonic, or anywhere outside or in between are valuable and important relationships to have and cherish! there are no rules!!!!

[runwiththerain]

more people need to be aware of the term alterous attraction (a desire for a close emotional connection with someone, but it's not completely romantic or platonic) and use it instead of calling everything a qpr. because by calling everything a qpr you are turning that term into a label instead of what it actually is - an umbrella term for many non conventional types of relationships.

[matcha-milo]

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

[underwhelmingalchemist]

"There's no platonic explanation for this" there is if you're aromantic enough about it, hope this helps!

[marshmellowed]

aros, aces, and allies put DOWN the ship discourse we need to talk about family abolition, single tax, romantic harassment, and relationship anarchy im so serious

[arotechno]

welcome to "what relationship is it anyway" where the rules are made up and the points don't matter

[aropride]

i’ve begun saying people “obviously aren’t in a romantic relationship, they have something deeper and more intimate going on” as this seems to confuse and upset alloromantics

(ID: a banner with text over the aro flag. the text says: i don't care about blorbotags go wild but this post is about hating the hierarchial system of relationships & if you're mad about it you're probably been poisoned by ace discourse brainworms. and are also proving my point. /end ID)

[vexlaroa]

ALTERNATIVE RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY FLAG !

relationship anarchy — believing that people should not be made to adhere to normative societal expectations/rules of what relationships should be, instead customizing relationships with consensual wants

MEANINGS

slanted stripes : rejecting normative rules (most flags are usually vertical or horizontal stripes)

black corner : anarchy (a design found in other anarchist flags)

orange : new ideas of what relationships can be/creativity

red : the energy of rejection

MAKINGS

this polyamorous flag

RA symbol

lowkey I used the Sealand flag, flipped it, and elongated it

I wanted to make another RA flag because I wanted a flag that had different colours than just the polyamorous one muted !

[buildingrelationshipsinanarchy]

So through my university I've been able to get my hands on a lot of scholarly research around, nonmonogamies, polyamory, sexuality and all sorts of gender, race, class intersections on those topics.

Anybody interested in me posting them? Maybe even commenting on them as well?

[heartless-aro]

Dismantling the relationship hierarchy is not about rearranging it so that sexual and romantic relationships are devalued while QPRs become the new “more than friends.” We need to completely do away with the idea that relationships exist on a fixed hierarchy. Some people will consider friend(s) or a zucchini/QPP the most important part of their life. For some people, their most important relationship will be a sexual relationship (and not necessarily one which includes romance!). And some people will still consider their romantic partner the most important person in their life, and that’s fine too.

Just as it’s harmful to tell an aroace person that romantic and sexual relationships are the most important ones, it’s also harmful to tell an alloaro person that sex is inherently less important than romance or to tell an alloromantic aplatonic person that friendship is inherently more important than romance. There is no way to rank relationships that will not devalue the experiences of at least one group of people, nor is there any reason why we need to rank relationships in the first place.

[sleepyjuice-juice]

high key would LOVE to write a story between two aroaces and put them into situations that are widely perceived as romantic. just to make the audience question the way they view love and relationships. just a sprinkle of relationship anarchy... oh whoops i accidentally poured out the whole tank of relationship anarchy on them let's see what happens