#relationship anarchy

[marshmellowed]

aros, aces, and allies put DOWN the ship discourse we need to talk about family abolition, single tax, romantic harassment, and relationship anarchy im so serious

[sminny-wew]

It's so funny being a shipper when you're aroace it's like you're an anthropologist, like hey fictional blorbos who live in my head let me study your bonds under a microscope and take notes on what happens when I throw Valentines Day into your enclosure

[pacificseaotter]

genuinely think everyone would benefit from learning about aromanticism and relationship anarchy. even straight, allosexual, alloromantics. because amatonormativity affects everyone, and learning about relationship anarchy and redefining how you think about relationships is so freeing. youcan do whatever you want 4ever.

[agrebel18]

i love you polyamorous relationships, open relationships, friends with benefits/friends that have sex with each other, queerplatonic relationships, friendships that have some weird queer element to it, relationship anarchy, staying single and i love anything that doesn't match what society considers "normal"

[voidpunk-aro]

people act like it’s a flaw that qprs are difficult to define and confusing to allos as if that’s not half the fun! y’know those memes that are like “are you a boy or a girl?” followed by “no” / “yes”??? qprs are that energy but for relationships and for some reason we’ve still got folks trying to pretend that’s not nifty as fuck

[runwiththerain]

more people need to be aware of the term alterous attraction (a desire for a close emotional connection with someone, but it's not completely romantic or platonic) and use it instead of calling everything a qpr. because by calling everything a qpr you are turning that term into a label instead of what it actually is - an umbrella term for many non conventional types of relationships.

[arotechno]

welcome to "what relationship is it anyway" where the rules are made up and the points don't matter

[underwhelmingalchemist]

"There's no platonic explanation for this" there is if you're aromantic enough about it, hope this helps!

[aropride]

i’ve begun saying people “obviously aren’t in a romantic relationship, they have something deeper and more intimate going on” as this seems to confuse and upset alloromantics

(ID: a banner with text over the aro flag. the text says: i don't care about blorbotags go wild but this post is about hating the hierarchial system of relationships & if you're mad about it you're probably been poisoned by ace discourse brainworms. and are also proving my point. /end ID)

[matcha-milo]

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

[heartless-aro]

Dismantling the relationship hierarchy is not about rearranging it so that sexual and romantic relationships are devalued while QPRs become the new “more than friends.” We need to completely do away with the idea that relationships exist on a fixed hierarchy. Some people will consider friend(s) or a zucchini/QPP the most important part of their life. For some people, their most important relationship will be a sexual relationship (and not necessarily one which includes romance!). And some people will still consider their romantic partner the most important person in their life, and that’s fine too.

Just as it’s harmful to tell an aroace person that romantic and sexual relationships are the most important ones, it’s also harmful to tell an alloaro person that sex is inherently less important than romance or to tell an alloromantic aplatonic person that friendship is inherently more important than romance. There is no way to rank relationships that will not devalue the experiences of at least one group of people, nor is there any reason why we need to rank relationships in the first place.

[notwhatyoucameherefor]

Unrequited romance this and that what about equally strong feelings on the opposite side of that situation. What about platonic love for someone so deep that finding out they have those feelings for you hits like a betrayal kill. What about the guilt that comes with knowing they didn't choose to have those feelings but being hurt by it anyway. What about the knowledge that even if you suck it up and try to love them the way they want you to you're never going to see them the same way again. What about feeling like something must be wrong with you because you love this person so much and you're upset about them loving you all of the sudden. What about years of bonding and trust and loyalty shattered in seconds bc they need something from you that you don't have. What about the person who doesn't return the main characters feelings always being framed as the bad guy in media what abt that huh

[aro-absol]

You know what I like so much about the aromantic community?

We have so many concepts that the average alloromantic person has never heard of. Concepts that make it so much easier to explain our experiences, desires and struggles to other people. They make it so much easier to exist as an aromantic person in this world. Of course, every aromantic person can decide whether they find these concepts helpful and applicable to their experiences. But I find it amazing how many cool concepts the aromantic community either came up with or took pre-existing concepts and made them our aromantic 101. I don't think the allos really get how being aromantic can fundamentally change your worldview. And to be honest, I think they're missing out because I think everyone would benefit from at least being familiar with those concepts.

Being aromantic is basically like this:

Aromantic shrimp colours are real.

Anyways, aromantic community, y'all mean a lot to me and I'm so happy I found y'all and now share your "secret" knowledge!

[nyxtickled]

relationship anarchy/polyamory/non-monogamy reminder: being successfully open in your relationship and unlearning toxic/compulsory monogamy does not equate to transcending all feelings of jealousy, fear, insecurity, uneasiness, or any other generally unsettling sensations that may arise when you or your partner are exploring other connections.

the real success of your non-traditional relationship style is measured by your ability to share these feelings willingly, transparently, and without judgment or projection into external blame, however embarrassing or irrational you may think they are, & your partner’s ability to empathize, listen, reassure, discuss, and/or analyze solutions with you at length as you decondition yourselves together.

[homobuckybarnes]

[Image ID: a meme of two men holding hands, text over the man on the left says “aromanticism” and text over the man on the right says “polyamory”. Over their joined hands it says “relationship anarchy”. End ID]

[ale-arro]

we will never achieve gender liberation without deconstructing amatonormativity. btw