#relationship anarchy

[amysteriousburning]

Along the lines of work to live, don't live to work... live to love, don't love to live? Or is it the other way around?

[sminny-wew]

It's so funny being a shipper when you're aroace it's like you're an anthropologist, like hey fictional blorbos who live in my head let me study your bonds under a microscope and take notes on what happens when I throw Valentines Day into your enclosure

[agrebel18]

i love you polyamorous relationships, open relationships, friends with benefits/friends that have sex with each other, queerplatonic relationships, friendships that have some weird queer element to it, relationship anarchy, staying single and i love anything that doesn't match what society considers "normal"

[runwiththerain]

more people need to be aware of the term alterous attraction (a desire for a close emotional connection with someone, but it's not completely romantic or platonic) and use it instead of calling everything a qpr. because by calling everything a qpr you are turning that term into a label instead of what it actually is - an umbrella term for many non conventional types of relationships.

[underwhelmingalchemist]

"There's no platonic explanation for this" there is if you're aromantic enough about it, hope this helps!

[lapdogchase]

i’ve begun saying people “obviously aren’t in a romantic relationship, they have something deeper and more intimate going on” as this seems to confuse and upset alloromantics

(ID: a banner with text over the aro flag. the text says: i don't care about blorbotags go wild but this post is about hating the hierarchial system of relationships & if you're mad about it you're probably been poisoned by ace discourse brainworms. and are also proving my point. /end ID)

[arotechno]

welcome to "what relationship is it anyway" where the rules are made up and the points don't matter

[aro-absol]

You know what I like so much about the aromantic community?

We have so many concepts that the average alloromantic person has never heard of. Concepts that make it so much easier to explain our experiences, desires and struggles to other people. They make it so much easier to exist as an aromantic person in this world. Of course, every aromantic person can decide whether they find these concepts helpful and applicable to their experiences. But I find it amazing how many cool concepts the aromantic community either came up with or took pre-existing concepts and made them our aromantic 101. I don't think the allos really get how being aromantic can fundamentally change your worldview. And to be honest, I think they're missing out because I think everyone would benefit from at least being familiar with those concepts.

Being aromantic is basically like this:

Aromantic shrimp colours are real.

Anyways, aromantic community, y'all mean a lot to me and I'm so happy I found y'all and now share your "secret" knowledge!

[aroacemisha]

My brain gave me this image.

[heartless-aro]

Dismantling the relationship hierarchy is not about rearranging it so that sexual and romantic relationships are devalued while QPRs become the new “more than friends.” We need to completely do away with the idea that relationships exist on a fixed hierarchy. Some people will consider friend(s) or a zucchini/QPP the most important part of their life. For some people, their most important relationship will be a sexual relationship (and not necessarily one which includes romance!). And some people will still consider their romantic partner the most important person in their life, and that’s fine too.

Just as it’s harmful to tell an aroace person that romantic and sexual relationships are the most important ones, it’s also harmful to tell an alloaro person that sex is inherently less important than romance or to tell an alloromantic aplatonic person that friendship is inherently more important than romance. There is no way to rank relationships that will not devalue the experiences of at least one group of people, nor is there any reason why we need to rank relationships in the first place.

[yeehawpim]

here is the original comic i'm talking about

here is some stuff on relationship anarchy

here is a blog post that helped me (it's about sexual attraction but it resonated with me about romantic attraction too)

I get this isn't a very satisfying conclusion, but hopefully this helps someone😅also to add on, it's totally ok not to have a label or change as you figure out more about yourself! I think realizing I could be comfortable and happy being aro/ace really helped me decide

[nyxtickled]

relationship anarchy/polyamory/non-monogamy reminder: being successfully open in your relationship and unlearning toxic/compulsory monogamy does not equate to transcending all feelings of jealousy, fear, insecurity, uneasiness, or any other generally unsettling sensations that may arise when you or your partner are exploring other connections.

the real success of your non-traditional relationship style is measured by your ability to share these feelings willingly, transparently, and without judgment or projection into external blame, however embarrassing or irrational you may think they are, & your partner’s ability to empathize, listen, reassure, discuss, and/or analyze solutions with you at length as you decondition yourselves together.

[homobuckybarnes]

[Image ID: a meme of two men holding hands, text over the man on the left says “aromanticism” and text over the man on the right says “polyamory”. Over their joined hands it says “relationship anarchy”. End ID]

[spacedykez]

genuinely think everyone would benefit from learning about aromanticism and relationship anarchy. even straight, allosexual, alloromantics. because amatonormativity affects everyone, and learning about relationship anarchy and redefining how you think about relationships is so freeing. youcan do whatever you want 4ever.

[ale-arro]

we will never achieve gender liberation without deconstructing amatonormativity. btw

[stabbydragon]

I have this friend (who is also arospec) that recently got an online boyfriend. A couple days ago I casually told my friend “I love you” like I have a million times before and this time his answer was “I’m not saying it back. I’m saving that for my boyfriend” Your boyfriend who you’ve never actually met before and have only been dating a few days. I’m fine. Amatonormativity and relationship hierarchies don’t destroy my soul at all :’) I’m sorry I can’t love you in the way you want to be loved.