#i’m one of the only people she hugs. straight up my biggest flex ever

[eebie]

Grinds my teeth to dust…. i wish touch didnt have so many Implications. im just trying to survive out here

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Itadori Yuji and Gojo Satoru thinking their s/o died

“Hey If you're comfortable can you do Reader with amazing regeneration power ( like deadpool lol ) For Yuji And Gojou? Like they don't know about their power tought they're dead but they just pop up back like nothing happens and explain their power to them? But if you're not comfortable it's okay! thank you” -anon

Sorry this took so long! I literally completely rewrote this like 6 times and decided in the end just to keep it relatively simple and not overly detailed. Gojo’s part includes spoilers from the manga (specifically the Hidden Inventory arc) only because thats the only time i could ever think of a situation where he would see and be near you when you get that injured.

Despite all these rewrites i still hate it-

Warnings: blood and injuries

Itadori Yuji:

Gojo had arrived to the classroom 8 minutes late as usual

Instead of training, he decided to hand out some missions to you first years

“Nobara and Megumi, you two are gonna go clean up a hospital and the surrounding area in the xxx district. Meanwhile, Yuji and y/n are gonna go clear out curses from some buildings by a cemetery in the xxx district. Shouldn’t be too difficult”

“You’re not gonna tell us which buildings?” itadori asks and the blindfolded man simply shrugs

“Your lovely y/n can sense the curses out with the power of love” he explains

You sigh and get up from your desk

“Yeah yeah, lets go Yuji” you say pulling your boyfriend’s hand

“Aw, no cute nicknames?” “Shut up Gojo-sensei” you say making your teacher frown

‘Never should have let gojo satoru of all people know that me and yuji are dating’ you think to yourself

And so you and yuji went off to fulfill the mission

It took a bit to get there but luckily it didn’t take long to find the curses

You decided to stick together as you searched the empty buildings

There was a small handful of the usual low grade curses that you guys took out pretty easily

But just when you guys thought you were done, a high level cursed appeared

“Man, I really wished Gojo-sensei would let us know if theres gonna be anything thats grade 2 or above” you say growing nervous and yuji nods his head

“Don’t worry, i’ll protect you” he says giving you a reassuring smile

And so you guys got serious and fought the curse

You both received a few scraps here or there but nothing too serious

Its when the curse switched up its attacks that it got particularly tricky

Instead of throwing cursed energy around, it shot disc blades out of its arm

You barely had enough time to duck out of the way

It went clean through the wall

“Yuji leave him to me” you say but he immediately denies your request

“No way! I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you got hurt when I could have prevented it”

You were unsure but continued the fight anyways

After both of you sustaining many injuries, Itadori went for the final blow and ended it

Sadly before it fully faded away, it sent one final disc out

Flying straight past yuji, you didn’t have time to react and it went straight through your neck, essentially decapitating you

Your body falling limp onto the ground, the pink haired boy could only slowly turn around to face you

“...huh?”

Eyes wide as they could possibly be he called out your name and fell to his knees

“You’re joking right? Theres no way this really just happened...right?!” he yelled, voice cracking as he stared at your ‘corpse’

“Ooh such a shame. See if you just swapped places with me they would have lived. Atleast they wouldn’t have died to some low level curse” Sukuna said, mouth appearing on his cheek

“Shut up!”

At this point he was bawling

Tears were flooding out of his eyes even tho its only been about 10 seconds

As his shaking hands slowly picked your body up he mumbled a bunch of apologies but stopped when he saw something

Your head was beginning to regenerate

And he has to admit

Seeing your head fully regen like that was kinda disgusting

Opening your eyes, the first thing you see is a teary eyed boyfriend

“Yuji?” You ask and he pulls you into a very tight hug

“I’m so sorry y/n, I let you...I-I thought you died” he choked, still shaking as he held you

You sighed and returned his hug with as much love as possible

“I realize i never explained my ability to you huh? So you know reverse techniques? Its like that but much more advanced. Unless im completely blown away, i’m pretty sure I can’t die. I do however still feel the pain”

He nods his head at your explanation

You guys sit there for a bit as you quietly reassure everything is fine while rubbing his back

You kiss his cheek and stand up

For the rest of the day he is stuck onto you, just glomped on as much as you’ll allow him to be

It really scared him

It happened so fast and if you really had died...he doesn’t even wanna think about how he’d react

When you returned to the school, you didn’t bother reporting back to the principle or gojo and instead spent the rest of the day chilling with Yuji in the dorms

You could deal with the consequences later because for now

Loving yuji and making sure he’s happy is all that matters

Manga spoilers for Gojo under the cut

Second year!Gojo Satoru:

Its not completely accurate to what happened but shushhh

You guys had just come back from Okinawa and despite being on a serious mission you guys had fun

Well you did stay an extra day solely to stay at the beach but no one needed to know that-

But now the fun’s over and you were back at Jujutsu high safe inside its barriers

You could tell Satoru was absolutely finished with this mission, he was completely over it and exhausted

“Im done. No more baby sitting” he said leaning onto you

Resting his chin on top of your head he let out a yawn which made you laugh a bit

“Suguru. You can do the rest with Amanai right? I wanna go sleep and cuddle with y/n” he complained while wrapping his arms around you but suguru snapped back

“Huh? You think you can just walk away with them before the biggest part of this mission??”

He wanted gojo to see the mission through to the very end and not just ditch to go ‘cuddle with y/n’

When the boys continued to argue, gojo unwrapped his arms from you as he stepped closer towards getou

Sighing you gave riko a look and apologized which she simply smiled at

You only meant to take a step forward to intervene

Only a single small step

But your instincts where screaming that you push Satoru away with no second thought

Why did you follow your instincts so quickly? Why shove him so hard that he almost fell over? And why was there a searing hot pain in your gut?

“Im surprised you managed to push him out of the way on time, makes this whole effort for assassinating pointless don’t you think?”

As you slowly looked down you finally realized a sword had been stabbed into you, and that there was a new face right behind you

Ah, thats why then

“Y/n!!” Satoru yelled, blue eyes widening as he saw blood seep through your clothing and onto the concrete

As he and suguru instantly went into battle mode, the sword was harshly ripped out towards your side and cut an arm off in the process

As suguru used curses to hold toji back, satoru swore he teared up a bit as he picked you up and moved to a more safer spot

He couldn’t lose you, literally anyone but you

He’d be willing to die if you got to live

“Y/n your stomach..and arm..!” he yelled watching the blood pour out of you and showing no sign of stopping

Which just made him grow more and more panicked

You could feel his arms tremble as he held you and see that it was taking everything he had to not let the tears spill

“I-I don’t--this..this is my fault! The second i stop using my power this happens to you!” his emotions where spiraling more and more out of control

He couldn’t even see that the blood had already stopped

“Nothing is your fault Satoru. You can deal with the blame game later and instead go deal with the situation at hand” “But-”

“Satoru. i’ll be fine, focus on the enemy and protecting Riko.” you say wincing, already feeling it everything heal itself

“Fine?? Those injuries arent a ‘im fine’ injuries--!” you cut him off by harshly placing your hands onto his face to help him snap out of it

“Satoru. Im perfectly fine okay? So stop panicking.” you say pressing your forehead to his, though it was a bit awkward since he was taller than you

(if your taller than 190cm props to you and just ignore that part)

��Huh? Can reverse techniques be this advanced for shamans?” he asked, eyes still wide as he gently placed his hand on yours

He was in complete awe that your arm was back and looked perfectly normal

“My ability is basically a more advanced version of Shoko’s ability. I can regenerate anything and will be perfectly fine even if i lose my head. So ignore me for the time being and go kick the intruders ass” you say and he takes a deep breath before nodding his head

“wish you could have told me this before so i could have prevented all this panic” he said making you feel really guilty

“sorry! it just never came up before” you say flexing your regenerated arm, seeing if it felt right or not

You watched as he took off his sunglasses and handed them too you and turned towards Toji who was busy slaying a curse suguru threw at him

“Suguru and I will take Riko to Master Tengens place, im leaving this guy to you okay? Not like he’d win anyways, since after all-” he cut off what you were saying with a kiss before smirking

“After all, Im the strongest”

[hi-hey-haechan]

Can I also request 79 with renjun and 3 + 56 with jaemin :)

(I had done the 79 one with my last post). Thank you for requesting!

Prompt list is here.

I write for NCT (all units, but not for Jisung or Chenle), Stray Kids, and Ateez.

3: “You’re not going out wearing that outfit.”

56: “I’m not jealous! It’s just...you’re mine!”

Warnings: It’s really long, and there’s smut, but it’s not as detailed as I usually write it.

The boys had invited you and Jaemin over to the dorms that day, simply for the purposes of being crackheads. With them, you always knew that you’d have an interesting time. “Y/n”, Jaemin called out to you, “Let’s go!”

You had just finished getting ready, so you grabbed your bag and ran down the hall of your shared apartment. “Patience, grasshopper,” you rolled your eyes.

What you heard next shocked you, for it was completely unwarranted and out of absolutely nowhere. However, Jaemin’s eyes were on your body, which kind of made you feel like a piece of meat on display. Before you were about to say my eyes are up here, he said, “You’re not going out wearing that outfit.”

Sure, Jaemin was protective, of you, but hearing him say that, in a voice that was deep yet slightly vulnerable, sort of made you worry. “I-is it bad? It’s just a cropped top and shorts. Does it really look that awful on me?” you inquired back, suddenly insecure about what you were wearing. You felt comfortable in the outfit, but if it really didn’t look good on you, then you supposed you would change clothes.

His stubborn expression softened, and he stepped forward and grabbed your hands. “Baby,” he told you quietly, in a soft voice, which was free of all the harshness it had possessed a few seconds ago, “I mean that you look so damn good that all the guys are gonna be staring at you. You look good in anything, Y/n, but we can’t have the other guys thinking the same thing. Well, okay, they can, but if any of them looks at your ass in these shorts, I’m gonna have to kill them.”

“Jaemin!” you laughed, hitting his chest lightly with your palm. “I’m not changing.”

“That’s fine. It’s ultimately your choice,” he replied.

And with that, you both got into the car. He wasn’t going to fight with you on what you were wearing, even if you looked so good, to the point where the other boys would be thinking the same thing. Even still, Jaemin couldn’t stop staring at your legs, and how perfectly they were being shown off, thanks to your shorts. His eyes also were pulled to the strip of bare skin left exposed by your cropped top. He couldn’t help but think of how soft the skin would be under his skin…

These thoughts consumed Jaemin’s mind all the way to the dorms (which, admittedly, was only a couple minutes away).

The boys were already a mess as soon as you entered the dorms. Jisung and Chenle were trying to see if different parts of the wall would make noise if they threw the same ball at it. You didn’t understand this. Why would they test the sounds the interior of the house would make after lodging a cheap, plastic, red ball at the wall to attempt to make music.

“And this is why I really can’t leave you people alone in the dorms to fend for yourselves, can I?” Jaemin inquired tiredly. However, at the sight of his brothers having fun and being crackheads, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Do you miss them?” you asked him quietly. You were referring to how he’d recently moved out of the dorms so the two of you could get an apartment together.

Jaemin squeezed your hand. “Sometimes,” he whispered back. “But I’ve never been as happy as I am with us together, at our home.”

His answer was difficult for him to come up with, but you understood what he was saying, and what he meant.

And you felt the same way, missing his insane stories about what the boys did at 3 AM, but you were ultimately happy, and that was what mattered.

You walked over to the couch, meaning to sit on it. You almost sat on Renjun’s legs as he was lying down, taking up the entire length of the couch. He seemed pretty immersed in his phone, and his earbuds were in. Just that one time, you decided against kicking him. When you looked up, You saw Jeno staring at you. You couldn’t tell if he was staring into your eyes or staring at places lower down on you than your face.

Clearly, Jaemin noticed, too. He walked right up to you and snaked a warm arm around you, as if to say, “my girlfriend.”

“Let’s play a game!” Jaemin suggested loudly to lighten the odd mood and keep everything as crackheaded as they should be. “There’s a mini basketball hoop in the middle of the room. Let’s put it to use, shall we?”

“Fine,” Renjun sighed, averting his eyes from his phone. “We should do teams of two. Each group has a minute to shoot as many baskets at a time.”

“See, Renjun?” Jaemin inquired. His voice was cheeky, and you knew he was going to say something in the form of a roast. “If you’re not on your phone, you can see my handsome face in real life, and that’s a blessing to everyone.”

Renjun just rolled his eyes but you glanced at your boyfriend teasingly. “Your biggest fan is yourself,” you grinned.

“If Y/n is on Jaemin’s team, they’ll win,” Chenle said, calming down from his throwing of plastic and rubber balls against the wall.

“Then I’ll be on Y/n’s team,“Jeno replied. From where you were sitting, you saw Jaemin’s face fall a bit. He seemed a bit jealous, for some reason, which was so absurd to you.

The six of you divided into teams: You and Jeno, Jisung and Jaemin (sort of against Jisung’s will), and Chenle and Renjun. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.

Jaemin and Jisung were first to go, despite their constant protests. The ball had to be shot from two feet in front of the 3.5 foot machine, a rule made by all of you (except you all decided it in meters, and the author incorrectly wrote it as feet). The sixty seconds was full of Jisung being yelled at by his partner, who was commonly at fault for the things being yelled about. Jaemin pouted and whined for sixty seconds straight, and you were all laughing at him. He missed most of the shots, and for those shots that went over the machine, he made Jisung get them, before scolding him for not being fast enough. In the end, they ended up with eight baskets only, a criteria that didn’t seem difficult to beat.

Right before your turn, you whispered your plan to Jeno. Chenle began the timer, and the round began. Jeno threw the ball to you, which you caught and simply placed in the basket. You tossed the ball back to him, and the cycle continued. Within sixty seconds, you had managed to dunk 24 baskets.

When the timer ran out, you and Jeno hugged celebratorily, jumping up and down. In doing so, your phone fell out of your pocket, onto the ground. It was left unscathed, luckily. You didn’t see Jaemin’s eyes on you. He was looking at your legs, admiring how the muscles flexed as you kneeled to the ground and stood up to grab your phone. He admired the curve of your ass, the way your legs were left mostly exposed in your shorts. His mind flew to the feeling of your legs under the palms of his hands, when he’d carefully caress your thighs to tease you, or how they’d wrap around his waist when he pounded into you...shoot.

And distracted by those thoughts, Jaemin felt some of his blood rush south. He barely even noticed Jisung protesting the score of the game, how you and Jeno had cheated.

“They’re supposed to be behind the line!” Jisung protested.

“Actually, only the shooter is. I didn’t have to be,” you pointed out, secretly pleased with the loophole you’d found in the rules.

“Jisung, she’s smarter than us,” Jeno laughed. “Drop it.” He slung an arm around your shoulder, the both of you unable to hide the smug looks on your faces at Jisung’s defeat.

“Y/n,” Jaemin said quietly, “can I talk to you? Alone?” You looked at him, and saw the not-so-happy expression written across his face. It wasn’t angry, and it wasn’t sad, either. Either way, it hurt your heart to see.

You stepped out of Jeno’s half-embrace and followed after Jaemin. He walked through the room, into a hallway, turning at the bedroom that he and Jisung once shared.

“Are you okay?” you asked worriedly. “You seemed kind of...I don’t know...sad? Ticked off? I’m not even sure.”

“Yeah, just, seeing you with Jeno, and hugging him…” Jaemin trailed off. His confident façade was down, and you were seeing him vulnerable. Despite being his girlfriend of three years, you didn’t see him upset too often. He didn’t seem to know how to finish his sentence. Your boyfriend wasn’t even looking at you, and his eyes were trained at the ground.

“Jaemin, you don’t have to be jealous.”

His head shot straight up, making direct eye contact with you. “I’m not jealous! It’s just...you’re mine!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get jealous before.”

“I don’t get jealous; that’s ridiculous. Why would I be jealous when anyone would be whipped for all of my amazing charms, and my incredible charasma, and my hugs, which are so much better than Jeno’s-”

You kissed him on the mouth, really just to shut him up. Him rambling on about how he was “totally not jealous” was cute, though.

The kiss quickly deepened, your mouths slow and sensual against each others’ at first, but growing more passionate and deep by the second. His hands grabbed onto your waist, feeling your warm, smooth bare skin under his hands. With a wrench, he broke away,

“Are you sure you’re okay? Come on, kiss me,” you pleaded in a quiet voice.

“I’m fine. It’s just…” he trailed off again, and decided to let actions speak his words for him. He bucked his hips against you, allowing you to feel how hard he was.

Your eyes widened, and you looked up, making eye contact with him. His warm brown eyes were consumed by the widened, black pupil, showing you how much he already wanted you. “How did that happen?” you asked.

“So you know how I said that the members would enjoy you in that outfit too much? Well, I enjoyed it too much. Seeing the way you move turned me on, somehow.”

“Jaemin, you really could have just said, before we left the house, ‘You’re not going out wearing that outfit because instead of going anywhere, I’m going to fuck you now, for your legs look really good in those shorts and are making me feel some type of way.’ Wouldn’t that have been easier?”

He leaned in to peck your lips, and then he whispered, “It would have been easier. But instead, now that we aren’t home, it looks like I’m gonna have to take care of this problem right here, right now.”

And this, of course, led to a bunch of making out, as well as very clumsy and very lame stripped of clothing.

When his hard length entered you, your back was pressed into Jaemin’s old mattress. Part of Jaemin wanted to pound into you so hard that you’d loudly moan out his name, showing Jeno who made you feel this good.

And that part of him won out this round. He watched his cock disappear and thrust in and out of your tight hole. The sounds of your moans urged him on, and they were like music to his ears. Anywhere his mouth could reach, he was kissing you, biting and sucking any exposed skin until your collarbones. neck, and chest.

Part of him wanted to ask if Jeno could make you feel so good, but it didn’t seem to fit the moment, and you were okay with that. His thick length filled you up so well, hitting your sweet-spot dead-on. With your moans, Jaemin was urged on, thrusting into you harder as you clenched around him incredibly tightly.

When you both came, you climaxed hard. Your walls caved in on themselves, and you saw stars behind your closed eyes. Your moans and cries of your boyfriend’s name rang off the walls, and his fluid was released inside of you.

Due to that occurrence, the boys stood out in the main room of their dorms, rolling their eyes and looking confused, as well as concerned, when they heard your and Jaemin’s moans and voices from all the way down the hall. Jaemin wouldn’t have to worry about Jeno knowing that you were Jaemin’s girlfriend, and not his.

[httphopewrld]

control Me (pt. 1) | (f)

↳ part of the ‘lyrics series’

Jimin was just a guy who modeled for your art class, and someone you found attractive, nothing else. You didn’t think anything would evolve from that. However, whenever you needed him for your sketches, he always came over without any hesitation. But there’ll never be anything between us. You convinced yourself. Although, that changed when Jimin asked, “What am I to you?” Maybe he had feelings for you. Maybe there was more to your relationship than you realized.

[pt.2]

Pairing: model!jimin x reader

Genre: fluff, but the series does have smut in it

Rating: no rating! There’s some swearing, I think, but that’s the only thing

Warnings: reader does get their drink drugged, HOWEVER there is no mention/suggestion of rape b/c that’s a sensitive topic for some ppl (including myself), SO please be careful at parties: cover your drink, pour your drinks yourself or get it straight from the bartender, and always be with someone you trust.

Word Count: 2k+

A/N: inspired by Colde’s song, ‘Control Me’. Please give this song a listen! It’s been on repeat, for me. Also, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JIMIN!

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You dashed towards a seat in the front, quickly slamming down your backpack on the chair as a boy with a beanie was about to do the same. He scowled at you as you sat down with a triumphant smile.

This was your last class of the day: human anatomy. In this class, you would study the human figure through sketching diagrams and 3D models and examine the muscles and tendons of the body. The goal of the course was to further your knowledge of the human body to, hopefully, make your art more realistic.

Today, everyone would need to choose one of the seats that surrounded the raised platform in the middle of the room. Your professor, Mr. Heinz, advised the class last week that today an actual model would be posing.

Being an eager student, you wanted to get somewhere in front, so you could see things in detail and not be blocked by anyone else.

As you pulled out your sketchbook and charcoal square stick of charcoal, you saw your friend Rachel sit across from you, closer to the back. She had a disappointed look on her face.

When you locked eyes, you gave her sympathetic smile, but mouthed, “You snooze you lose.”

She rolled her eyes, before mouthing back, “fuck you.”

You both silently giggled at her response as your professor entered with, who you assumed, to be the model.

“Class,” his voice boomed, “this will be the subject of today’s sketch.”

He gestured towards the model, “This is Jimin.”

Jimin had dirty blonde hair. It hung loosely around his head as if he’d run his hands through it numerous times before entering the classroom. He wore a baggy grey jumper that crumpled at his wrists. His eyes resembled sideway crescents as he waved at you all sheepishly.

Everyone nodded as Mr. Heinz continued, “Be kind to him, this is his first time modeling for an art class.”

“I’ll try my best not to move,” Jimin chuckled, making some of the students do the same.

“Now, Jimin,” Mr. Heinz pointed to the platform in the middle of the room, “I’d like you to grab a chair and sit down in a pose that shows some thought.”

You watched Jimin grab a chair and sit down on the platform. He removed his jumper, revealing his black t-shirt underneath. He set his jumper beside his seat.

He leaned forward resting an arm horizontally over his left knee, allowing him to rest his elbow on his right knee and prop his chin atop his fist.

You watched as his biceps flexed and unflexed as he tried his best to keep still, while everyone silently sketched him. You observed as his jaw clenched when trying to keep a calm, but strong, expression.

Your eyes traced the way his lips rested on his face. The way his draped slighting on his forehead. The silver rings adorned his fingers; which you hadn’t noticed before. His eyes seemed to wander around the room, before settling…on you.

His lips turned into a cheeky smirk behind his fist, causing you to shyly smile back.

You continued sketching while trying your best not to make eye contact with him—to prevent any more blushing from happening.

Your sketching was interrupted by Mr. Heinz’s voice. “Pencil’s down everyone! This is only practice, for your greater project: sculpting! Which we will start next month. I advise you all to do more practice on your own time as we continue with human models.”

Everyone began packing up their things as Mr. Heinz added, “I recommend you all contact friends to model for you!”

The students replied with various forms of ‘yes’ as they exited the classroom.

Rachel came over to you as you were putting your things into your backpack.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” She muttered.

You tilted your head, not understanding why she sounded annoyed. “I’m packing up my thing for my next class…?”

“I saw how you looked at that Jimin dude,” she nudged you teasingly with her elbow. “Shoot your shot.” She winked.

“Rachel, I don’t think—”

“We need to get models to model for our sketched anyways. God knows if Mr. Heinz will check our sketchbooks—” Rachel took a deep breath, “Y/N, you’ll need to contact him either way; date or not. Might as well—”

You gave her the look that made her stop talking.

She sighed, “I’m just saying—try for once.”

“Rachel—”

“Hey!” She jumped in before you could continue. “Isn’t Joey having a party tonight? Kaleb and Jason were talking about it.”

Joey, Kaleb, and Jason were some of your guy friends on campus.

You looked at her with concern. “Rachel, I think you’re going insane.”

“There it is! Joey is having a party…” She pulled her phone out and scrolled through her messages. Her face lit up once she seemed to have found what she was looking for. “Here! ‘8 pm at my place. Bring friends’!”

“Rachel, I don’t think—”

“Y/N,” she grasped your arm, “what’s the worst he can say? No?”

It seemed that she could see you weren’t entirely convinced, making her continue, “If he says ‘no’, screw him! He doesn’t deserve you.”

You pursed your lips and continued to weigh your options.

“Please, Y/N. just try.”

You rolled your eyes, tired of her pressuring you. “Okay, Rachel. I’ll do it.”

She silently did a victory dance, as if her yelling hadn’t already brought everyone’s attention to the two of you already.

“Wait for me outside,” you said, packing your things up and swinging your bad over your shoulder.

You walked up to Jimin, who seemed to have finished talking to Mr. Heinz.

He turned around, conveniently, as you approached him; causing you to make eye contact with him.

Oh shit. You thought, due to the sudden eye contact.

“Hey,” you smiled, “Jimin, right?”

“Yeah,” he smiled back, “and you are…?”

“Y/N,” you held out your hand, which he took.

Jimin shook your hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Same to you,” you grinned.

You made small talk for a bit, asking him how long he’d been modeling (he only started recently) and what urged him to model for an art class (he was curious and wanted to expand his profile), before finally proposing that he come to the party on campus.

“Your friends won’t mind me coming?”

“I don’t see why not? If you’re with me, so it should be fine.” You shrugged.

“Just don’t out drink any of Joey’s frat friends and you’ll be alright,” you winked, causing him to laugh.

“I’ll try my best,” he chuckled.

You turned slightly, getting ready to leave, “So, I’ll see you there tonight?”

“Yup!” He smiled.

As you were about to leave, he interrupted you by saying “Wait!”

He jogged up to you. “I don’t have your number.” He rubbed the back of his head, “I kinda need to know how to get to your friend’s place.”

“Oh yeah,” you rolled your eyes at how you forget to give him the address, “duh.”

You gave him your number and said ‘goodbye’ again. As you walked out of the class, you saw Rachel and gave her a thumbs-up, causing her to run to you and give you the biggest hug ever.

.

.

R& B and rap music rhythmically shook the floor beneath your feet. Drinks were handed out to guests as soon as they entered through the door, and snacks were orderly placed on tables around the main floor.

There were at least one hundred people scattered around the house. It wasn’t a massive party, but it had enough people to create a ruckus.

Every so often, Joey would have to go through the speakers and tell everyone to quiet down or the police would come shut down everything.

As for you, you paced back and forth in Joey’s bedroom. First of all, you couldn’t fathom how Joey was able to afford a house; and secondly, it had been a couple of hours since the party started, and Jimin hasn’t arrived.

“He’s probably late,” Joey suggested, crossing his arms. He clearly wanted to get back to drinking and dancing.

Rachel eagerly nodded, “Yeah.”

“You know what?” You stopped pacing, turning towards them. “Fuck it.”

You stormed towards the bedroom door and threw it open. “We’re going to fucking drink and have fun. I was obviously obsessing over some random stupid boy.”

“You can say that again,” Joey mumbled, causing Rachel to elbow his stomach.

“Ow!”  He spat at Rachel, only making her do it again.

You rolled your eyes and headed downstairs as the two continued to argue about something out of earshot.

The crowd seemed to have gotten bigger as you stepped onto the main floor. You sifted through the crowd until you got to the kitchen, retrieving yourself a beer.

You sat at the bar, sipping at your beer and people watching.

“Did you come by yourself?”

You turned towards the voice, hoping to see Jimin, but was slightly disappointed to see a girl.

“I have friends, but they’re somewhere in there,” you made a circular gesture towards the massive crowd, causing the girl to chuckle.

“Same here,” she related, moving closer to you, “can I hang with you for a bit?”

“Sure,” you shrugged, taking a sip of your beer.

You two chatted for a while, easily bonding over your subjects and knowing Joey. Both of you exchanged funny stories about girl things (period accidents, awkward situations with guys, etc.) and laughed until your stomachs hurt.

This was put to a halt for a second when she asked you, “Do you like girls?”

You shook your head slightly, “I’ve never tried, but I think I’m okay.”

She leaned closer to you, “Are you open to trying?”

“I think I’m okay, thanks.”

Your words didn’t seem to stop her actions, because she only seemed to move closer to you.

Her lips grazed yours, causing you to jump back.

“Please stop.” You said a bit louder, making some people around you glance at the two of you.

The girl rolled her eyes before smiling at looking past you.

“Are those your friends?” She pointed past you, causing you to turn around.

You moved your head to see over the crowd, but you didn’t see Rachel or Joey, or anyone familiar. You turned back to the girl, who was now holding your drink and her own.

“Look, I’m sorry for pushing you. It was stupid and gross.” She held your drink closer to you. “Can you forgive me?”

You grasped your glass, and held it up slightly, “I forgive you.”

You both giggled and took hefty chugs of your beers.

Both of you talked for a bit more, but then you unexpectedly felt light-headed.

“Hey,” you reached for the girl but missed, almost falling over. She caught you, thankfully, hoisting you off of your seat and onto your feet.

“Wow, you don’t look so good. Let me take you home.” She said, putting your arm around her shoulder.

You nodded absentmindedly, completely overlooking the fact you never told her where you lived, and barely knew her.

She helped you towards the front door, but it opened suddenly, make you and the girl stumbled back.

You looked up to see who had entered the house. “Jimin?” You rasped, too tired to raise your voice.

“Y/N?” He titled his head, appearing to be confused as to why you were being carried out of the party in a drugged state.

“I’m her friend,” the girl looked at Jimin, “I’m taking her home.”

She attempted to leave, but Jimin blocked her.

“Y/N, who is she?” He looked right into your eyes, ignoring the girl’s glare.

“I’m her friend, I just told you—”

“I know that, but I’m asking her.” Jimin scowled at the girl before resuming eye contact with you.

“What’s her name, Y/N?”

You only shook your head in response, letting him know you didn’t know this girl at all.

“I’ll take it from here.” He declared, beginning to wrap his arm around your waist.

“Dude, how can I even trust you with her?!” The girl exclaimed, holding tighter onto you.

“She doesn’t even know your name!” Jimin raged, pulling you out of the girl’s arms. “Now fucking leave before I call the cops.”

The girl left before as soon as Jimin finished his sentence.

He made you look at him as he hastily examined your face and eyes. “Y/N, can you hear me?”

You only nodded and mumbled, “Yes,”

“Okay,” he held your arm over his shoulder and wrapped his arm around your waist, “we’re going to find some of your friends, but you’ll have to tell me their names, okay?”

You nodded again and told him their names.

“Rachel and Joey? Okay, let’s go find them.” He assured, trying his best to half-carry you and lead you back into the main part of the house.

From what you could remember, Jimin asked people around the party who these people were and eventually found them. Then, you remember vomiting into toilet with Rachel beside you and Jimin and Joey at the door, facing away from the both of you. The rest was a haze, but the last thing you remember is Jimin waving ‘goodbye’ as you and Rachel got into a taxi.

  The next morning, you awoke in Rachel’s bed. It was around 12 pm when you looked at your phone.

On the bedside table sat a note reading:

Gone to get some food for the both of us. Make sure to drink the glass of water I left you and have some of the granola bars with the Advil I left too. I’ll be back at 12:30.

-          Rachel

You did as the note said, taking the Advil and chasing it with water and munching on the granola bar.

When you looked back at your phone, you realized you had a couple of texts from Jimin.

Jimin [10:00 am]: hey, Y/N. It’s Jimin. Let me know how you’re doing, okay?

Jimin [11:00 am]: I hope you’re doing okay. Make sure to drink water and eat something

You smiled at your phone, before replying:

Y/N [12:15 pm]: hey, Jimin! I just woke up. I feel better.

You felt your phone vibrate a couple of seconds after you texted.

Jimin [12:16 pm]: good to hear

Then a few seconds later:

Jimin [12:17 pm]: do you remember anything?

Y/N [12:17pm]: only pieces. I remember you taking me away from that girl.

Y/N [12:18 pm]: did the girl drug me?

Jimin [12:18 pm]: I think so. Must’ve been your drink

You frowned at your phone’s screen. That’s why it tasted bitter.

Y/N [12:20 pm]: Thank you for saving my ass last night

Jimin [12:21pm]: np. I’m just glad you’re alright

Y/N [12:22 pm]: are you modeling on Monday?

His text made your chest fill with excitement.

Jimin [12:22pm]: yup! I’ll see you there

Y/N [12:23pm]: yay! I’ll see you Monday then.

You heard the front door opening and Rachel’s voice calling out to you.

“I’m awake!” You replied back, pulling the covers off of you.

You quickly texted Jimin back:

Y/N [12:30 pm]: thanks again for saving me last night. I owe you one!

Jimin simply replied back:

Jimin [12:31pm]: 😉

[bodyswapmischief]

The Interview

(Although not a part 2. This story is linked to The promotion) 

If you can believe it ... before today, my body looked completely different. I was ... for the most part hairless. And that worked for me. It showed off the curves of my muscles. My six pack, biceps, and chest glistened after every work out. But, now everything changed.

It all started because, I really needed a job. I applied to everything  I could find. But, no one ever called back. Until I got a call from Transform Inc. They were a really big company, in the city. I didn't even think I applied to them. I knew it was a mistake. But, never turn down an opportunity... or so I thought.

The day of the interview, I dressed in my best. I wore well fitted slacks and dress shirt. It hugged my body and outlined my well earn muscles. I hope I was interviewed by a woman or gay man. I might not be the smartest person or have the most experience, but with my body I could seduce the pants off of anyone.

Reaching the building, I quickly realized I was out of my league, job-wise. I went up the elevator and was immediately greeted by a lady, at the front desk. She was insanely attractive and led me through the office. As we walked, I started noticing the people in the office. All the women were attractive, and the men would have been too, if they were in better shape. They had a range of different size bellies. From a little bloated to full size beer belly.

I finally reached the office. "Your interview will be held in there." She said, as she walked away. I walked in and saw the biggest fattest guy in the office. He seemed stressed and tired. His face seemed young, but the weight added age to him. His beach ball belly rested on his lap and pushed against his small desk. His dress shirt struggled to contain his stomach and his equally large pair of fat boobs. His beard hid what I could only imagine was a double chin. He looked at me, like he was caught of guard. "Oh, please take a seat." He said as he clean off his desk. On his desk was a salad and a water bottle. I laughed in my head (Yeah like that's gonna help you, fat ass). His name plate read: Steven Fuller. (Yup the name fits) I continued to laugh to myself.

I sat down, keeping my eyes on the big fat blob of a man, in front of me. He was gross and every part of me hated him, for doing that to his body. I was snapped back to the present with the creaking of his chair, as he moved. It was screaming to get this fat-ass of it. He was also looking at me. Checking my body out, but trying not to get caught. He started looking for something, but stopped as his face turned red, from embarrassment. He lifted up his massive gut and pulled out a file. "I forgot, I put this on my lap before my lunch." He shyly said.

I started laughing. The comedy of this fat pig in front of me was just to much to take. He looked hurt by my reaction. "Yeah, kid don't get fat ... it sucks." He weakly smiled, as he started reading the file. "Don't worry I won't" I winked. He immediately puts down the file and looks at me, straight into my eyes. "Do you care about your body?" I was thrown back a bit. "Yeah ..." I replied confused. "Then this is not the job for you. I recommend leaving now." he starts to put the file away. "But ... look...I'm sorry I laughed... it's just..." I tried to explain. He looked at me, "No ... you look, I know you. I've been you. In fact my body was in better shape then yours and now look at me. I am ... begging you, just walk out that door and leave."

I lost it and everything I felt just came out. "I'm sorry you don't like what you did to your fat ass body, but I am not you." I started flexing under my shirt. "You wished you had this body. But, you can't. That gut is massive and no amount of salad is going to change that." Anger filled his eyes. But, suddenly the door opened and an older man walked in. His body made of muscle, which made him look younger than he probably was. "Hello, I'm Thomas Sterling and I will be finishing the interview, in my office." He motioned for me to follow. I turned to look at Mr. Fuller. He shook his head in disappointment.

We reached Mr. Sterling's office and sat down. "I'm sorry about that." Sterling said "He shouldn't have told you to leave." His powerful arms pulled out a box. "Well, he hasn't been the first person to be jealous of my body." I said. "Oh, and you do have a good strong body. 7% body fat?" He laughed in delight. The way he talked about my body was making me nervous. But, his tone was soothing. "No ... 5%" I answered. He opened the box and revealed doughnuts. "Here take one." He whispered. "I shouldn't." I said looking at the doughnuts. "Just one won't hurt." He said. I took one and bit into it. Blue filling gushed into my mouth. It tasted so sweet and good. Sterling smiled.

Slowly my stomach felt bloated and pushed against my shirt. (I did have a big breakfast) I thought to myself. "You have the job." He smiled. He quickly got up to get some paper work. The muscles under his clothes, showing off with every move. I wanted to be like him when I got older. "Help yourself to another doughnut, in celebration," he cheered. And, I did. My shirt and pants started feeling tighter. A tingling sensation started spreading through my chest.

"Sign these papers and you can start working tomorrow." I quickly signed, every paper. "Good, Good, Good ... I'm happy to know your happy with getting as fat as I want you to." My throat choke up a bit. I looked down and saw what was happening to my body. My pants were skin tight as they squeezed my legs. My softer chest was squeezed by the now tighter shirt. My flabby stomach was peeking out of my straining buttons. "What the Fuck! What happened to me." I screamed.

Sterling laughed. "It's all part of the contract." He brought out a syringe of blue liquid and injected it into a doughnut. "You will eat 3 of these donuts every month, and gain 5 pounds of permanent fat, for each. For every 5 pounds you will be paid 10,000 dollars. That will be 30,000 a month. This will go on for a year. Then you will have an option of staying on and getting promoted or leaving the company, if you wish. If you do stay on, you will be paid 100o times your weight per year. It was written down on those paper, you signed."

"You can't do this. I quit! These documents won't hold in court." I cried out. "Aw, I thought this might happen. That's why I created this new formula. It will make you more obedient. Now, finish the last doughnut for the month." He said as he handed me the freshly injected doughnut. My hand grabbed it on its own and brought it closer to my mouth. I scream for it to stop. But my hand forced it in my mouth. As soon as the blue goo reached my tongue, I started unwilling chewing. It really was the best thing I ever eaten. I felt the effects immediately take place. My expanding ass caused my pants to rip. The buttons on my shirt popped, as my belly jiggled, now having space to expand and sit in it's full size. My skin became itchy has my hairless body started sporting hair everywhere I could and couldn't see.

"Oh, that's a side effect, I haven't worked out yet. But, I can't say it doesn't make me happy. Now my bear in training go home and get some rest, because tomorrow you start work. And let's keep this contract our little secret." He smiled at me. I started walking out and bumped into Mr. Fuller, waiting right outside. My eyes red from wanting to cry. "Before you leave ... you should come to my office." I followed him. By the way he wasn't freaking out, I already knew that he understood what went on.

He helped sneak me into his office so, no one saw me. Once there, he pulled out some clothes. "Here these should fit you." He said. "Why are you doing this." I said with a shaky voice. "I was mean to you ... I got what I deserved, maybe worse." I felt embarrassed, changing my clothes in front of him. I hated showing off the new fat rolls that I could feel on my body. "You aren’t the only one that made a deal with that devil. I wasn't lying. I was like you. About 180 pounds of  pure muscle. In my first deal, I shot up to about 270. With a little more convincing, he has me at 300 pounds." He said rubbing his swollen stomach.

The numbers started running through my head. 3 donuts each month for a year. 15 pounds every month for 12 months. That would be a 180 pound weight gain. I'm was currently 180. I would double my size with pure fat. I would be 360 pounds. 60 pounds heavier than the man in front of me. I started crying. Mr. Fuller came closer to hug me. His belly pushed tight against mine. He started talking " Look, I don't know how many pounds you signed up to gain. But you are not alone. I'm the fattest guy in this office..." (not for long) I thought to myself "And, I still live an active life. I might not be as fast or have as much stamina, like when I was in shape. But, I am able to keep my weight down to my permanent weight and not an ounce more. Just eat right and exercise. In fact some of us guys from the office go to workout everyday, you should come" He let me go. I calmed my self and started walking out "what's the point" I said. As I walked out the door, I hear him yell out " You can always be fatter than you have to."

Those words still ring in my ear, as I stand here exploring my strange new 195 pound and counting body. Imagining how I would look fatter. The door bell rings. It's a pizza delivery guy. "Order for Eric, from Mr. Sterling." He unloads 2 large pizzas, a 2 liter bottle of coke, and a cookie cake. My stomach starts to rumble. Might as well eat because, this stomach is going to get bigger whether I like it or not. I can always got to the gym tomorrow.

(Follow my second blog @malereblogmischief, where I re-blog the sources for the picture in my stories.)

[mirohed]

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst 

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

[starunicornmoon]

Little Do You Know

'Love is never a straight line. Sometimes you've got to freehand.' Little Do You Know Head down to avoid making eye contact with too many people, I pushed the shopping cart down the aisle of the supermarket beside Amy, who had her cute nose in her shopping list and wasn't watching where she was going. I reached out and pulled her gently to the side so she wouldn't walk into a display of grapefruit at the last second. She looked up, seeming a little startled, gave me a small adorable embarrassed smile and went straight back to her shopping list. Shaking my head at her distraction, I chuckled lightly and carried on pushing the annoying cart with the dodgy wheel around the shop. I must've been giving out boredom vibes because Amy stopped me a second later. "You don't have to be here, Sonic. I can do my shopping alone," she rested her small hand on my arm and smiled at me with that too cute to ignore tug of her lips. She really meant it too, she didn't need me there and she wouldn't be offended if I zipped out of the store as fast as possible. She wouldn't take it personally, she wouldn't berate me later on because I left her stranded. After-all, it was me who asked if I could come along. I might have had ulterior motives for that this time though. "I know, but I just want to make sure you pick up the right chilli this time," I winked at her where I was casually leaning on the cart. Amy's cheeks flushed and she ducked her head to scout over her shopping list again. Her reaction surprised me and I stood back up to my full height and watched her. She knew I was, her face was getting redder the more I stared. Why was she acting all squirrely all of a sudden? Did I put my foot in it? Not that it would be the first time with her, but I like to think it's been a very long time since I did. I'm far past that slightly stuttery, AmyRosemakesmenervous stage of bolting and/or saying something to upset her accidentally. What's insulting about chilli? Narrowing my eyes I reached out and hooked a finger under her chin, making her turn to look me in the eye. I didn't say anything, I just gave her a look and waited. She bit her lip, her eyes shining with humour as we silently battled it out. I couldn't tell you who's the most stubborn out of the two of us, I think we're pretty equal on that battlefield. Amy did crack first though, probably because we were drawing attention to ourselves by having a stare down competition in the middle of an aisle at the store, our cart abandoned. She swallowed nervously, tucking a stray quill over her shoulder as she glanced down and looked back up at me. I felt like I was being played by her unintentional adorableness. "I've just been trying a new chilli out, that's all. I'll get your normal one from now on." she mumbled as she turned away and walked off quickly down the aisle. Being the fastest thing alive it didn't take me long to catch up to her, wonky shopping cart or not. She was distractedly throwing things in and ticking items off her list. I watched her for a moment, my mind rummaging back over the past couple of weeks, trying to remember the packaging of this new chilli she'd been tainting me with. When we got to the tinned chilli my eyes scanned the shelves trying to locate the right one. Amy placed a few of my normal favourite in the cart and started off at quite the quick pace. She was too late though, because my eyes zeroed in on the tin I was looking for and I almost dropped it on my foot out of terror. She has been tainting me! Amy Rose, one of my oldest and best friends has been secretly feeding me poison for weeks, on my precious chilli dogs no less! Is it some kind of practical joke? Was she hoping I wouldn't notice? How - how could she?! "Amy Rose!" I called, maybe a little too loudly as I appeared in front of her, stopping her from running away. She collided into me and jumped back just as fast. She looked nervous now. Nervous and like she was trying hard to not laugh at me. I know how I must've looked - a little crazed, scared and hurt. My poor chilli dogs . . . "You've been feeding me low fat chilli?" My voice was almost cracking just saying it aloud. And then a more horrifying thought occurred to me. "Ames, are you trying to say I'm getting fat?" I muttered, staring down at my stomach. Amy made a noise that made me look up in surprise. Was that a purr? Her eyes did a pretty quick and pretty thorough inspection of my body that more than inflated my ego, I can't deny it. Fat thought gone, it took a lot of willpower to not flex right there and then just to see what she would do. I settled for a familiar and proud smirk instead. When she met my eyes again her blush was back in full force from being caught out and I grinned even wider. "Oh shut up, you know you're hot," she huffed as she shouldered past me. True, I've lost my gangly teenage body and filled out a bit more since sparring more with Knuckles and doing more top secret missions around Mobius - a hedgehog's got to pay for said chilli dogs somehow. But still, it didn't hurt being told every now and again I'm buff. "Besides, I got it because it's healthier." she continued, back to her annoying list again. I nearly snorted at that. "Amy, in case it has escaped your notice, but I run at the speed of sound. If that doesn't burn off whatever I eat then I'm screwed. Low fat chilli not only tastes like crap, but ruins a decent chilli dog. Thanks but no thanks." I hummed, squeezing her shoulder once as I walked past her. She simply shrugged, the matter dropped just like that. That's one of the things I appreciate about Amy - she doesn't go on and on. We talk it out and it's finished, rarely to be brought up again. But now I knew she was getting the good chilli my itch to get out of the supermarket and burn off some energy was tingling through my body. Amy picked up on it instantly and nodded, "Go ahead, I'll see you later." she smiled. Grinning because my friends a mind reader I quickly kissed the top of her head and bolted out of the store. But then I remembered something and did a quick 360 to go back. I ran up behind Amy and whispered in her ear, "I think you're hot too, Ames." Grinning from her bodies shivery response I was about to run again when her matter of fact voice followed after me. "Yeah, I know I am." Jogging backwards so I could turn to see the smirk I knew she had on her face, I saluted her come-back with a laugh and wink, leaving for good that time. Maybe I'll join her shopping again soon, I thought. Just because. xXx I ducked back down behind the crackers I was hiding behind as I watched Sonic disappear out of the store for the second time. I stared at a random spot on the floor, confused and curious. Are Amy and Sonic - are they in a relationship? When did that happen? Why didn't he tell me? I thought I was his best friend, his little brother. And I use the term little very loosely these days as I'm almost on par of height with him now. But still, why didn't he tell me? Peeking back over the crackers to see where Amy was I watched her for a few seconds, part of my mind telling me this was being a bit stalkery, and the other wondering why I wasn't going up to say hello to her in the first place. It's not as if we don't bump into each other here on the rare occasion I do come here to get my groceries. I guess I'm still floored by what I just watched. I mean, they didn't kiss in the middle of the shop or anything. But they looked - familiar - with each other. Unless I've had my focus on someone else too much and haven't noticed. Embarrassment flushed my cheeks at the inner truth of that possibility. I know Sonic hasn't dated anyone in a while. The few relationships he has had haven't gone on for more than half a year at least. Though I've had my suspicions in the past that it's because he's never really acknowledged to himself his true feelings for Amy, the relationships he has been in seemed as though he was happy? Although again, maybe I wasn't paying enough attention. It's been a whirlwind few years as Eggman has eased off on his attacks and everyone has found other things to fill their time. I've thrown myself into my inventions and making a name for myself in the scientific field off my own merit and not someone who works alongside Mobius' hero. Not to say I'm not grateful to be best friends with Sonic! Of course I am and he's my biggest supporter and pusher. But to be acknowledged that I have reason to give other inventors a run for their money, especially someone like me at the young age of twenty is enough to give me the boost I needed to put more time into my own interests. We all make time for each other still, that's the important thing. And when Eggman comes rolling in with his bots, we're all there to take him down every time. Still, Sonic and Amy together? If it's secret they're doing a bad job of it. So it can't be that. "Tails?" Twin tails bristling in surprise as my ears flattened to my head with guilt, I spun on my heel to face Amy. I'd been so caught up in my own thoughts I hadn't noticed that she was gone and heading my way. I felt my blood rush to my face. "What are you doing behind the crackers?" Amy's asked not unkindly as she smiled coming in for a hug. I accepted it gratefully, hoping it would give me enough time to cool my engines. When she pulled away I hoped my face was a little less red than before. "Um, hi!" I answered, looking around for an answer that I hadn't come up with in those few seconds. "I thought I'd heard Sonic's voice, but I must've just missed him," I sighed inwardly with relief for not lying. I had heard his voice and I had missed him. Half truth or not, I hate lying and Amy knows me too well for me to even try to get away with it. "I wasn't expecting to see him here." A full truth, I don't think I have ever seen Sonic go willingly shopping before, let alone with Amy. Not a statement I ever thought I would say about my two old friends. Friendly as they were when we were younger, it's most definitely on a different level now. Sonic has always respected Amy and the skills and support she's brought to our team. Did she make him a nervous wreck? Absolutely! Was she a bit of a mad fan girl in her early teens? Without a doubt. But she is and always has been an integral part of our team and a good friend to Sonic as well and Knuckles and me. We fear her hammer more so now than ever, but she's a formidable friend and her and Sonic have gotten a lot closer and more comfortable with each other as they've grown up. Not just because she's stopped squeezing him and demanding dates with him either. Amy blushed slightly as she said, "He caught me out trying a different tinned chilli so he wanted to come make sure I got the right one," Her eyes shone with humour as she said it, that part of the conversation between them was a part I had overheard. I didn't miss the openly - err - appreciative look she gave Sonic too when he asked if she was calling him fat. I almost gave myself away from my hiding spot when he demanded to know that. The idea of Sonic getting fat is laughable after-all; he has the metabolism off the charts. I'm aware he goes to Amy's for dinner on occasion. But now I wonder just how often. "You can't fool Sonic when it comes to his chilli dogs," I laughed, knowing that one myself first hand. "Lesson learned," Amy laughed with me before sighing in defeat and waving her list in the air. "I have to finish this shopping, I've got a list of errands to run still. But I'll see you soon for our night at Rouge's, right?" "Of course, I wouldn't miss it." I answered, thinking of Rouge's club we make the effort to meet up at once a month since she opened it's doors. In support of her own business venture that suits her perfectly, clichéd as it may seem. A bat running a nightclub, who can be her own security if she wishes? It's a lucrative venture. She's incredibly popular for her own reasons, and she doesn't just open the doors for people to dance and drink. She holds fundraisers there too, supporting different charities. She's even held a few speed date nights too. They've proven to be very popular apparently. With us all being older now, it's nice to do something different. Something - normal. "Great! See you soon, Tails." Amy gave me a quick kiss to my cheek and dashed past me with her cart, leaving a subtle scent of her perfume behind in her wake. I shook my head as I watched her leave. I noticed one or two men watching her go too, much to her obliviousness. I ground my teeth and scowled when they turned back and caught my eye. My message clear as they ducked their heads and ignored me. I might be slightly younger than Amy, but I'm taller than her now and definitely don't appreciate her being ogled like that. She's like my sister. Even if I was kind of stalking her behind some crackers myself. Sighing because I was right back to that confused and curious state, I decided to grab what I came here for and get back to my workshop so I could disappear into the tornado again. If Sonic and Amy want to be together than great! I won't pop their bubble by bringing it up if they're not ready to tell people yet. Besides, it's taken them long enough. Damn stubborn hedgehogs.

[flashflashitsash]

The Bakers Son - 2

Part one

Part two <- you’re here

Part three

Ladybug pouted as Chat Noir had beat her to the roof top

“Haha M’lady you owe me a date” he grinned leaning on his baton toward her, she rolled her eyes, pushing him slightly to tip him over

“All you’re gunna get is your butt kick- watch out!” Ladybug jumped pushing over chat and herself.

They both ducked down to miss the flying lamp post that was thrown at them.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir!! Give me your miraculous’!!!” The akuma victim screamed flexing his muscles

They scanned over the scene, Anti-Weak was grabbing civilians, squeezing them, and then taking away all their strength.

“Ugh seriously?” Bug looked over at Chat

“This is the best Hawkmoth could come up with?” She spun her yo-yo in her hand getting ready to launch it.

Laughing, Chat said “I guess he’s getting desperate Bugaboo..” he smirked at her “Just like I’m getting impatient waiting for the day you go to the movies with me!” He smirked back at her on his way toward the villain

Chat swung his baton to hit the back side of the villain, but then was jerked to a stop when he felt a strong hand grab the other end of his baton

“Ooo look at your muscles, eh? I could definitely use Kittens strength” the villain tightened his grip on chats baton, shaking it violently, which in return sent Chaton flying into a building across the street.

Ladybug grimaced at the sight “Guess we’re going to need a little luck now aren’t we?” She smiled and called for her lucky charm..

A feather pillow?

“What am I going todo with this?” she looked down at the lucky charm puzzled, then took another glance at her scenery. She jumped down off the rooftop to the ground.

“M’lady we shouldn’t be taking a cat nap at this hour it’s only midday! “ Chat rubbed his back joining her on the ground ready to start again.

She rolled her eyes ripping the pillow open. She wiggled a feather in her partners face, which in turn caused him to have a sneezing fest.

“Ahh-ahh..” Chat began to rub his not vigorously trying to make the sneeze go away

She giggled as he’d went and splashed his face with water to restart his nose.

“Not fair” he pouted trying to hold back a sneeze.

———

They had defeated the akuma by tickling his back, where he could not reach due to his overly large muscles. Chat had used his cataclysm to destroy the Akumatized object, the villains sports headband.

“Bye-bye little butterfly” Lady said as she watched it fly away. She called for her miraculous cure and everything went back to how it was..

Except for chat sneezing every two minutes.

“Ugh M’lady do you have time to called out for some medicine to stop this sneezing?” He rubbed his face walking over towards her.

Right as she was about to make a sly comment her earrings beeped.

“Sorry chaton I gotta go” she giggled and pushed his face away by poking his nose

“See you tomorrow Sneezy” she launched her yo-yo to the top of a building and disappeared from sight.

——

Chat dipped down behind a trash can and walked back around it as Adrien. He started walking making his way back home to set his back pack down before the school fair started.

His parents both look up hearing the bakery’s bell ding. His mother shooting him a warm smile.

“Hey Bud, could you give your mother a hand really quick while I go get some more ingredients?” His father asked him already half way to their storage room

“Of course“ Adrien smiled moving his hair from his face and ringing out the next person in line.

After a few minutes of quiet and helping his mother restock the window displays. He’d heard the bell to the front doors go off again.

“Hello welcome to-“ Adrien looked up to see a bright, blue eyed marinette standing there, biting her lip looking at the cookies he had just set out in the windows

“Hey Marinette!” He chimed as he walked back to the cash register “Any special requests?” He smiled as she blushed a bit, realizing it was Adrien who was attending to her.

“I-um..” her face turning very red. “Do you think I could get some of those cookies you brought to school today?” She looked up at him fiddling with her fingers.

“Yeah of course! “ he turned around to where he still had a few of his moms special cookies he had taken to school in the morning. Luckily they hadn’t been finished due to the akuma attack.

“You can have the rest of them” he gleamed handing her the box Adrien always used when bringing baked goods to school.

A smile came to her face taking in their smell “How much?” She set the box down reaching down to pull out her wallet.

“Free of charge” he grinned that goofy grin at her

“O-oh Adrien no I can’t, how much?” she stuttered playing with a strand from her pony tail

“Really Marinette, take them, we don’t sell these in the bakery, is just a special recipe my mom makes every once and while.” He shrugged and a small laugh left his lips “ I just need the box back”

She looked away knowing how red she was becoming. “Well let me do something in return?” She bit her lip fiddling with the cookie box.

“Surprise me “ He smirked a bit seeing how red she getting, but he got brought back to earth when his phone went off. “Oh crap! I forgot I’d help Nino set up!” He grabbed his wallet and sweater, then meeting Marinette’s eyes again.

“You’re going to be there tonight right?” He smiled at Marinette, who was practically drooling over the cookies

“Yes of course, I’ll see you in a bit? “ she blushed making her way towards the door.

Adrien slid past her, opening it for her. “See you in a bit “

He heard his mother giggle from around the corner. “ Let me know when she wants more cookies mon fils”

He rubbed the back of his neck looking away from his mom “ I will mama, see you tonight!”

——

Marinette blushed all the way home looking at the cookie box. She opened it pulling one out and opened her tiny purse in which her Kwami popped out smiling

“Ahh I’ve been waiting all day!!” The little Kwamis eyes became huge in delight, she took a long sniff before taking a bite bigger than her head

Giggling also taking a bite “They’re so good right?” She rubbed the top of her Kwamis head, then begane tracing over the delicate design in the box.

“Marinette are you ever going to tell him?”

Marinette looked out the window in thought, “That these cookies are the best I’ve ever had? Of course!”

Tikki gave her a less than amused look, “No the other thing “

She sighed “ What do I even say? You know father, he barely likes when I have photo shoots with boys, imagine once I start dating !?” She huffed putting her head in her hands

“I mean I turn red every time I’m near him! I stumble my words-“ she was cut off by her Kwami.

“But he’s so kind and he doesn’t make fun of you when you stumble and turn red “ Tikki moves to her chosens shoulder.

“He only thinks of me as a friend “ she sighed getting out of the car once they arrived home.

——

She raced upstairs to her fathers office, to find a Natalie -as usual- guarding the door

“He’s busy, I’m sorry Marinette. ” she claimed staring straight forward.

“Can you ask him for me if I can go to the back to school fair? It’s in an hour” She bit the inside of her cheek folding her hands almost begging Natalie

“As long as your home by 9-“ Marinette had already engulfed her in a hug

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou” she whisper /shouted then ran off to her room to change

——

“ This looks great Nino!”

“Thanks dude I couldn’t have finished in time without your help”.

They gave each other a high five having just finished setting up. they allowed Nino to have set up on the second floor, overlooking the entire event.

The court yard had just begun to fill up with people, Nino started the soundtrack and a bunch of hoops and hollars came from the crowd

——

“ Alya I have no idea what to wear..”

“Girl, wear THE DRESS” her friend pleaded with her, “You worked so hard on it! People should see it!!”

“ I guess if I put a Cheng jacket on top...father won’t be as mad?” She but her lip paring the two together “That’s if he finds out”

“Yes girl go for it!!”

Alya was her biggest supporter when it came to marinettes own creations.

“ I’m almost at school I’ll see you there!” Alya yelled over the phone.

“Alright bye bye!” Tossing her phone to her bed, Mari put on the dress and then the jacket over. “Tikki I’m nervous. “ she glanced at her Kwami through her mirror.

“Why Marinette?” She peeped flying her way over to the top of her mirror.

“I want this to be the best school year yet, I was so meh last year since it was my first year, and I was gone with doing photo shoots for most of it” she sighed “This year... I just want to feel normal. “ she let herself fall back onto the couch in her room.

“ I mean, Alya has never even been in my room!” Throwing her hands up in the air.

“ I’m going to make father change this year. “ she felt determined.

Ever since her mother passed, her father had been so overly protective over her. Never let her go out, much less let anyone in.

“Let’s go Tikki! I’m going to have fun tonight!” She hopped up, pulled on her flats that matched the dusty pink dress she had designed and created herself, she picked up the random grey sweater from her fathers collection.

She’d started making her way down the steps when she could hear the cold voice from down the hall, making a knot in her stomach.

“What are you wearing “ her father caught up with her, eye balling her outfit.

“One of the new sweaters from your collecting” she breathed out hoping to take all attention away from her dress

“ I know that obviously, I created it-but this dress I did not.” He poked at the collar of it

“ M-my friend gave it to me” she mentally face palmed.

Good one Mari, he’s going to believe that for surrree

“Hmm. Well ask your friend tomorrow if she can tell me the designer.” He let go of the collar beginning to walk away

“ I will, Father. ” she tried to make it down the stairs as fast as possible

“Where do you think you’re going?” He stood at the top of the stairs hands folded behind his back.

“I was going to go to the back to school fair..” she rubbed her arm not wanting to meet her fathers glare.

I guess Natalie hadn’t asked him...

Turning his head to the side, he side eyed her sternly “You are not going out.“

She felt the tears brim her eyes “Please father! I promised my frie-“

“ I said no, my answer is final, go to bed you have to get up early. Also, no more stops at the bakery’s. You have a strict diet to stick to.”

He made his way to his office, the doors slamming closed behind him.

Natalie stepping out from the restroom, shot her a sympathetic look as Marinette dashed upstairs covering her face.

——

“Ugh where is that girl!!” Alya huffed standing up at the dj station with Nino and Adrien.

“She’ll be here Alya don’t worry” Nino patted his girlfriends shoulder in reassurance.

“She definitely will Alya, I talked to her earlier at the bakery” Adrien chimed as he took bite of pizza

“Wait-Marinette went to your bakery?!” Alya said moving spots with Nino,

Adriens eyes widen at her sudden interest in the quick stop for cookies, he swallowed his food “Uh yeah she came in, got some cookies then left“ he went to take another bite of his food before Alya stopped him.

“Was her dad with her?” She was looking concerned at this point.

“N-no she was alone..”

Alya sighed and let adrien have his food back.

“What’s wrong with her getting food?” Nino put a hand on alyas shoulder

“Her dad is so controlling, he probably got mad she bought cookies before a photo shoot. ‘Only healthy food so that your skin looks flawless’ Or he’s upset at the wardrobe she wan-I forced her to wear“ she huffed and rested her arms on the railing.

“What?” Adrien said again stuffing his face

“ Nothing, she’s not coming. “ her phone had buzzed, she already knew who it was from.

——

The fair had ended, Adrien helped Nino take his dj stuff home, he was walking down an ally when he felt rain drops.

He sighed, he loved helping his friends but Nino was the one who lived the farthest away. Which meant Adrien was most definitely going to get caught in the storm.

“Well this sucks “ Plagg went and hid in adriens jacket

“Oh no you don’t, I’m not going to get caught in the storm “ he smirked at plagg who whined

“Ugh just do it already “

“ Claws out!”

He did not beat the rain which sucked because he knew he’s probably have a small cold in the morning. He was running as fast as possible down roof tops when a girl in a pink dress caught his attention.

She was curled up in a ball under a tree, he jumped down and walked over to her, he knelt down to her level

“Hey, miss are you alrigh-“ His mouth gaped open once the girl looked up at him with sadness in her eyes, he was taken a back.

——

Marinette had stormed back into her room, slamming the door shut-she’d hear about that later- she was just beyond angry.

“Why Tikki!? Why is he always like this? I just want to go to the fair! I’m so sick of it all!” She paces her room, ripping off the sweater in aggravation.

“ I need air, I just need to get out of here for a while” her breathing becoming more rapid.

Tikki looked at her in concern “Are you sure?”

She looked at tikki with tears in her eyes, “Yes spots on”

Off she went. She had no destination, not a thought of where she’d end up, she didn’t even care about the fair anymore, she just needed to clear her mind.

She didn’t really have a summer vacation due to her father, all she wanted was a normal school year. Not even that her life was normal. She was a model with a controlling father, but she also had a huge secret. Being Ladybug was her only escape from her dungeon she called home.

She eventually stopped not knowing where she was.

Crap, what street is this?

——

Well frack this part is too long so I’ll have to post the other half of it as part three :/ Ugh. I got caught up doing house work today, but here’s part two! Sorry if there are typos I didn’t get much of a chance to really proof read it. Let me know what you think!

[elleberquist6]

Play Upon Me Like This Piano - chapter thirty-two

Summary: In many ways, Phil’s life is perfect: he loves his life in London, he has a wonderful brother and parents, and he has a great job as a radio DJ for BBC Radio One. There’s only one thing missing in his life… A rumor reaches an executive at the BBC about a talented local piano player named Daniel. The executive decides that Daniel would be the perfect guest on Phil’s radio show, so she sends Phil to speak with the evasive and mysterious piano player.

When they finally meet, Phil starts to think that he has found the person who will make his life complete. Unfortunately, Dan has a secret that will make getting close to him difficult.

Rating: Mature

Word Count:2238

Warnings: Smut

—

Siren fact: A Siren, like in the mythology, lures in men. Her main goal is to provide whatever is your heart’s desire. Theatricality is where her strength lies. She will pursue whoever interests her and will seduce him with what he longs for most.

May it be Cleopatra seducing Caesar, or Marilyn Monroe seducing the audience. They like to give their target what they desire, but only enough to draw them near, not enough to fulfill their desire completely and let them slip away.

While the siren’s main goal is to fulfill her own desires by helping you fulfill yours, it does not mean they will engage their target only till their needs are fulfilled. Sirens too can love someone, but their method of seducing someone will be as above. [https://www.quora.com/How-can-one-identify-a-siren-type-of-female-seducer-Also-how-should-one-deal-with-such-a-person/]

The bed was still too small, but neither of them complained as they snuggled close, and Dan soon fell asleep, cuddled in Phil’s arms. Phil was past the point of exhaustion and he also wanted to sleep, but his mind was racing too fast to turn off. He pressed his face into Dan’s hair on the pillow before him, inhaling his scent and willing sleep to come.

There was a knock at the door and Phil twitched in response. The rhythm of Dan’s breathing changed for a moment, but he didn’t wake up. As carefully yet quickly as he could, Phil unwrapped his arms from around Dan and climbed out of the bed without disturbing Dan’s sleep. He then hurried to cross the room before the person knocked again. He opened the door, not completely shocked to see his mum on the other side, and he only had a moment to regret that he was standing before her in only his boxers.

Phil was more concerned with disturbing Dan’s sleep than partial nudity, so he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him. He whispered, “What is it?”

She sighed but gave him a small smile. “I was thinking about tomorrow, and I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about how you’re going back to London tomorrow, and I was worried that we would miss our chance to talk. Phil, there’s so many things we need to say. If you’re not too tired, could we go to my room for a chat?”

“Sure,” he said and started following his mum to her room. He was still tired, but the soft way that she looked at him told him how much she loved him, how scared she had been when he was missing, and how badly she needed to have this talk. As they went into her room and he saw that it was empty, he asked, “Where are Martyn and Corn?”

“They were having trouble sleeping, too. They said something about going stargazing. I think they went down to the beach.” Mum sat at the kitchen table where they had first sat to plan their ill-fated day in Brighton, and Phil frowned at the thought but joined her at the table.

He asked, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t even know where to start.” She laughed and rubbed her eyes. “I can’t believe that the first time I met Dan, my biggest worry was if he was using a relationship with you to advance his career.”

“Wait, what?”

She frowned when she saw his expression. “Oh. I actually confronted Dan about that. I asked him if he started dating you because he’s a musician and you work in radio. He didn’t give me a straight answer.”

“Mum, he’s not! That’s ridiculous. I was the one who approached him about being on the radio – my boss sent me to invite him on the show. Dan turned me down. So, you see, he’s not with me for the radio show. He doesn’t want to be on it!”

“Oh!” She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. When she lowered her hands, she was wearing a chagrined smile. “I suppose I owe Dan an apology then.”

“Sounds like it,” he said with a smile.

Kath bit her lip, looking like she desperately wanted to say something but was holding back. Her eyes were flicking over him, making him feel a bit self conscious about his lack of clothes, but she was his mum and he knew that she was just reassuring herself that he was alive and safe after nearly losing him.

As the silence went on and she looked about ready to burst with the words she was holding in, Phil couldn’t help asking, “What? What is it?”

“Oh,” she sighed. “I don’t want to get into a fight about this… but I was just wondering how things are with Dan. Did you two talk after I left the room?”

“Yeah, things are great,” he said with a nod.

Kath still looked like she was about to explode. “But he’s a…” She hesitated, reluctant to say the word, but finally she finished, “Merman?”

“No, he’s a siren,” Phil corrected, though he still didn’t understand the difference.

She waved her hand in dismissal. “What about all that?”

Phil shrugged. “He’s my Dan.”

Her eyes widened a bit, and then she dropped them to her hands on the table. She contemplated the backs of her hands for a moment, and then asked, “He swam out there to save you and your brother?”

“Yes.”

She flexed her hands on the table, spreading her fingers. “If I could have done that, I would have, too.”

“I know.” There was a lump forming in his throat.

“Because I love you.”

He nodded. “I know. I love you, too.”

She sighed and closed her hands into lose fists. “Fine. I suppose I’m okay with this then. With Dan, I mean.”

He gave a startled laugh. “What? Really? We have your seal of approval?”

She looked up with a wry smile, since it was a bit silly that she was approving of her grown son’s relationship. “Yes, for whatever it’s worth, I approve. Dan seems like a good person to me and I’m happy that you have him.”

Phil grinned as he looked at the table top. “I’m happy, too.” He took a deep breath and let it out as his shoulders relaxed. “Listen, Mum, I should get back to my room before Dan wakes up and wonders where I am.”

“Right! One second,” she got up and went to the small fridge behind her. When she returned to the table she passed him a paper bag and smiled. “Some sandwiches for you and Dan, if he wakes up and is hungry.”

His smile widened because this was the mum he knew – the woman who always made sure that the people she cared about were well-fed. He took the bag as he got up from the table. “Thanks, Mum.”

Suddenly, she looked a bit sad and said, “If I don’t see you before it’s time for you to go, come get me please? I want to see you off. I’ll have your brother drive you to the train station.”

“Of course,” he said as he wrapped her in a tight hug.

Dan nervously eyed Phil’s family as they piled into Martyn’s car that night, and he didn’t say a word on the way to the train station. Reaching across the backseat of the car, Phil took Dan’s hand and gave it a squeeze, which made wide mahogany eyes flick to his face. With a shaky exhalation, Dan relaxed and glanced at Phil’s family. Cornelia was in the backseat with them, and she was looking out the window as the lights of the city flickered past as they sped down the road. Kath was in the front passenger seat, chatting with Martyn as he drove and laughed at something she said.

Phil gave Dan’s hand another squeeze, knowing what he had been worried about, but no one in the car was judging, excluding, or glaring at him. The Lesters were acting like a normal family right now, and if Dan wanted to do something to join in with the activities he would be welcome. Dan stayed silent as the others continued to talk, but he looked happy enough with the open atmosphere and soon he was smiling.

Eventually, they arrived at the station and Martyn pulled into the parking lot. Cornelia turned around in the seat to look at the city lights winking out the back window of the car. Then she looked to Phil with a small smile. “Are you going to miss it?” she asked. “You didn’t get to see much of the city while you were here.”

Phil looked out the back window of the car as he thought – this trip to Brighton had been full of terror and hadn’t turned out the way he had expected, but no. He wouldn’t change a thing. He felt so much closer to his family and to Dan now, and his stomach fluttered happily at the memory of that afternoon he had spent in the hotel room with Dan. He told Cornelia, “I guess we’ll just have to come back someday and see more of the city.”

Cornelia made a sound of agreement as she faced forward in her seat, and Martyn turned off the car. Martyn glanced in the rearview mirror at them, and Mum turned in her seat with a sad smile on her face. She said, “Well… I guess it’s time to go.”

“Um, wait.” Martyn also shifted in his seat and his eyes fixed on Dan’s face. “I need to say something. I want to say it now before I lose my nerve, and if I wait until we get to the train platform… I’m going to say it now, okay?” He waited while Dan swallowed heavily before nodding in response. Then he continued, “Dan, what you did out there on the water for me and my brother… no one has ever done anything like that for us before. You risked your life for us, and I’ve never known anyone that brave. I guess what I’m saying is thank you, and I’m glad you’re in my brother’s life.”

As Dan stared at him in stunned silence, Cornelia reached past Phil to put a hand on Dan’s knee. When she surprised him with the soft touch, she grinned and said, “I’m glad he has you, too.”

The atmosphere of the car became a bit awkward again as Dan didn’t seem to know how to respond to the positive words – even in the dim lighting Phil could see his cheeks flushing with a deep pink that he found adorable, despite the fact that Dan was squirming in discomfort. Phil would have helped if he knew how.

Luckily Kath noticed Dan’s dismay and she clapped her hands loudly, startling everyone in the car and breaking the awkward moment. “Right! We have to go now, or these boys are going to miss their train.”

They clambered out of the car and Dan and Phil grabbed their suitcases out of the trunk. After rushing along the platform, they halted a few feet away from the waiting doors of the train to exchange hugs, farewells, and promises to call soon. After stepping out of a rib-creaking hug with his brother, Phil was stunned to glance over at Dan and see him engulfed in the arms of Kath – Dan looked just as surprised, but he wrapped his arm around her and returned it.

She ended the hug after a moment and smiled at Dan. “Right then… you have to go. Sweetie, I didn’t get a chance to say everything I wanted to say to you. And also to unsay a lot of things I never should have said in the first place. I just hope that the next time we meet that we can do it on much nicer circumstances.”

Dan nodded. “That sounds nice. I’d like that.”

They really were cutting it close, and Phil was worried that the doors of the train were going to close any moment now, so he went up to Dan and took his hand. With warm smiles on their faces, they caught their last glimpses of Phil’s family as they stepped onto the train and the doors closed as they waved.

Dan sighed, and his shoulders relaxed. He said, “Should we find someplace to sit?”

Nodding, Phil started walking down the aisle of the train, still leading Dan by their joined hands. Finally, he found an empty pair of seats. They dropped their small suitcases in the seats across from them and Dan took the window seat. Phil’s tired body went boneless as soon as he sat.

Dan noticed and laughed. “Wow, you really mustn’t have gotten any sleep at the hotel.” When Phil shook his head, Dan scooted a bit closer. “You can lean on me and take a nap if you need it. I won’t let you fall over.”

Phil was too tired to argue, so he accepted the shoulder that Dan was offering and rested his head there, enjoying the way Dan’s scent filled his nostrils now that he was so close. The train rocked his body, reminding him for an uncomfortable moment of the way the boat had rocked during the storm, but no – that thought didn’t make him fear falling into a nightmare because Dan was here. Dan was always there when Phil needed him.

[joeybelle]

Oh, how the tables have turned -- Part 3

Clyde Logan x Reader

Inspired by @clyde-prompts: “Some guys are rude and use ableist slurs against Clyde. The reader is with them, and although she feels bad about what’s happening, is too scared to say anything in front of her “friends”. She comes back to the bar a couple nights later to try and show him she’s not a bad person. They get to know each other and fall in love”. Doesn’t fully follow the prompt

Warnings: Language, first person POV, driving under the influence cause I assume everyone does it in that movie, IDK what I’m doing.

Rating: Mature

Setting: Pre-Heist

Tags: @lonelyravenclaw​ @kyloren-supreme-ben​ @onmyknees4steve​ @elsablackswift​ @helloimindelaware​ @mwcritics

A.N: I’ve decided to slice this fic into 3000-ish words parts for people to be able to scroll past it without much annoyance. Pert 3 ended up being much longer than expected, so i had to cut it into two parts somewhere in the middle. It’s not perfect, but you’ll be getting both parts today. When I finish editing. Might take a while. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the story. Feel free to drop me a line anytime or just message me if you wanna squee about Clyde Logan in general.

Rejection is always a tough pill to swallow. It wasn’t the first I’d gotten rejected and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but it still didn’t go down easily. I found myself moping at home the next few days, following what I’d gotten used to calling the ‘series of unfortunate events’ related to Clyde Logan. Not that I had that many alternatives anyway, being a friendless nobody in a small town, but this time it felt self-imposed.

In the meantime I cut the grass in my yard and discovered a few rose bushes that were beautiful, but mean to my hands, I watched how the living room ceiling started leaking one rainy afternoon, signalling a pretty serious hole in the roof, nearly broke my neck going into the basement because there was a missing step I hadn’t seen before; I opened the vodka bottle all by myself and realized that he had been right, drinking alone wasn’t fun at all, but I was doing it anyway to hide my shame; I ate ice cream and binged Netflix shows for the rest of the week.

But there’s a limit to how much time you can spend alone at home before starting to go insane. I reached mine the next weekend and for a moment I considered paying Mellie a visit, but then I remembered the whole Clyde ordeal and I decided against it. I was sure that he’d told her everything and I really didn’t feel like talking about it. It was bad enough that I was beating myself up over it, I didn’t need someone else to rub it in. So, since the Duck Tape was off-limits for obvious reasons, and I didn’t feel like exploring for another bar in the neighbourhood I was left with only one option: the country fair.

I used to really love country fairs and carnivals and all that when I was a teenager, but it was probably because I’d be with my friends and there would be booze and food and we’d just be stupid together. I wasn’t sure I’d find them as charming nowadays, but at least I’d be moping outside, in public, which was an improvement to being secluded in my own home, waiting for another rain to invade the living room through the ceiling. So I showered, dressed like a semi-decent swamp witch and went to the damn thing.

As expected, the country fair didn’t impress me at all but it was a way to kill a few hours while feeling like less of a hermit than usual. I ate something, tested some insanely sweet drinks, and stuffed my face with enough ice cream to endanger my health, so in the end I found myself sitting on a bench, dangerously close to a food coma, with nothing better to do than to watch the crowd. Other people seemed to have way more fun than me. There were couples holding hands, parents with their kids, teenagers in groups visiting attractions and Clyde Logan with a blonde kid attached to his arm. Wait, what?

I have to say, this was the last place I had expected to see Clyde Logan. In my head, country fairs didn’t really fit his style (because I had spoken to him twice and I knew all there was to know about the man, obviously), and I assumed he’d be too busy with the bar to come to one anyway. I remembered that it was pretty early and the bar probably wasn’t open yet, but his presence in my field of vision was still unexpected.

I sighed dramatically and leaned back, arms crossed over my chest. Speak about bad luck, I thought. I came here to avoid him and here he was, swinging a blonde kid on his very toned arm. Actually, I didn’t mind the view. He was distracted by the kid and far enough not to notice my staring, so I indulged in it for a moment. There’s no harm in looking, right? Especially when he was wearing a dark, short-sleeved shirt that seemed at least a size too small, the buttons threatening to give in anytime he flexed his muscles while lifting the little girl in the air. His niece? Maybe. She seemed vaguely familiar, so I assumed she had been part of the onslaught of school kids that were sent to visit the college I worked at. Or maybe she was his kid. I had no way of knowing for sure.

Whatever the case, he looked really good doing it. He was smiling for a change. An open and honest smile lit up his usually somber face, and I just couldn’t look away. I caught myself wishing he would smile at me like that, but then I realized that we were practically strangers and I hadn’t made the best impression the first time we met. And since he clearly rejected me, I had to get over this crush ASAP if I wanted to live peacefully in this town.

The little girl let go of his arm and ran back to a couple that, after a bit of squinting, I recognized to be Jimmy Logan and his sister Mellie. They both looked different—after all it had been more than a decade since I’d last seen them—but not so much that I didn’t recognize them. Jimmy lifted the girl in the air and kissed her, then put her down and looked straight at me with a shit eating grin on his face. The feeling was similar to being punched in the gut. I remembered that in another life I’d dreamed of Jimmy Logan looking at me with a smile, but right now the only thing I felt was panic, so I decided to get the hell out of there before Mellie noticed me and I’d have to be part of a very awkward conversation.

But luck definitely wasn’t on my side today, because the little girl started running towards me yelling ‘Miss’ at the top of her lungs. Oh, now I recognized her: she was the pageant girl. Really smart kid, very bubbly and friendly, talked my ear off during the college tour. Her favourite subject was, of course, pageants.

“Hi!” I said, when she stopped in front of me, grinning from ear to ear. “You must be… uhhh… uhhhh.” Crap. I had been calling her pageant girl in my head for so long that I’d forgotten her name.

“Sadie!” she helpfully reminded me.

“Sadie, right. How are you today?”

“Good. Daddy brought me to the fair to see the auctioneers. And later uncle Clyde will win me a unicorn.” I did my best not to steal a glance at Clyde at the mention of his name, not wanting to invite any more attention towards me. Hopefully I’d be able to get out of here before the adults ganged up on me.

“Awesome!” I said, panic clearly noticeable in my voice, because Jimmy Logan was rapidly approaching (despite his visible limp) with Mellie following closely. “It was nice seeing you today, Sadie, but I have to go now. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your unicorn.”

“Aw, leaving already?” She looked genuinely sad and I felt bad for her, but I felt even worse for myself, so I had to go.

“Yeah, leaving already? Without even saying hello?” Jimmy caught up to us before I was able to disappear, so I put on my most believable fake smile and hoped for the best. “Come on, don’t be a stranger, Baby,” he said, pulling me into a hug.

“Well, I kinda thought I was,” I mumbled, but returned the hug. He seemed like a nice person, plus I’d held him on a pedestal for so many years that I could indulge in a hug.

“Daddy, why are you calling her baby?” Sadie aske, giggling.

“Cause that’s her nickname,” he said, ruffling her hair. He explained to her that I’d been called baby ever since I was little, but she had to be polite and call me by my real name. The kid giggled again and I mouthed ‘I hate it’ which made her laugh harder, before turning to face her dad once again.

“I am surprised you know that. I lived under the impression that you had no idea who I was,” I said, going to hug his sister. “Hi Mellie, long time no see.” In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and pretended we were at least acquaintances. And although I knew it could be interpreted that way, I wasn’t bitter that he never acknowledged me in my teens—after all, it was just puppy love and it had been a decade since then—but I was curious what had prompted this sudden display of familiarity. If anything, I would have expected Mellie to come alone to say hi.

“Hiya, sweetheart. It’s good to have you back.” She warmly returned my hug.

“What do you mean I had no idea who you were? You’ve been coming to my games since you were twelve and cheered louder than the whole cheerleading squad.” That was true. “How could I not know my biggest fan?”

“So you what, ignored me on purpose?” I said, arching an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s not like I did it on purpose,” he said and laughed. His laugh was still the same as I remembered, loud and contagious. “But my brother here had the biggest crush on you and I just didn’t wanna make him more jealous.” Well, this was unexpected.

Clyde had conveniently stayed out of my line of sight, keeping his distance, but now I turned to look at him. Never in my life had I seen anyone blush so furiously in a matter of seconds, his whole face even his ears becoming a deep shade of red. He was glaring at Jimmy who seemed really unfazed by it.

“Is that so?” I pressed, feigning innocence, but deep inside me there was a little devil laughing maniacally. I mean, I was aware that it wasn’t very nice of me, but I was feeling a tiny bit of petty satisfaction knowing that I wasn’t the only one embarassed by the whole situation. Misery loves company.

“Yeah, he only ever came to my games to see you cheer,” Jimmy said, same shit eating grin plastered on his face, seeming completely oblivious to his brother’s discomfort.

I smiled back but wonder what Jimmy’s motive was. Talking to me out of the blue, after never acknowledging me before, snitching on his brother in a matter of seconds. I knew he was insanely loyal to his family, so why sell him now?

On the whole, the situation was beyond comical. Jimmy was grinning, Clyde seemed set on killing him with a glare, Sadie attached to his arm again asking ‘Is that true, uncle Clyde’ over and over again until he finally mumbled something that sounded like ‘It was a long time ago’. He looked at me like a deer (or a moose) caught in the headlights and I could feel my own cheeks burning. I was in hell.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?” I asked Mellie, who stood next to me, arms crossed and an amused smile playing on her face.

“‘Cause he’s a bit of a coward and you were infatuated with my other brother,” she kindly explained.

“Right.” Made sense. I still felt like something that I should have known about back then— who knows, I might have liked him back—or you know, forever hold your silence type of thing. But knowing this now explained a lot of things.

Now that the petty satisfaction that I had felt for embarrassing him had died down a little bit, I understood why Clyde rejected me and didn’t seem to react to my flirting. If someone I had been crushing on in my teens showed up on day, insulted me or trampled on my insecurities then tried flirting with me I would have been much less gracious in rejecting them than Clyde had been. Yes, it had been more than a decade since highschool, and I was pretty sure his crush on me was dead and buried (like the one I used to have on Jimmy), but it was something that could potentially still hurt after years. So once again I was flooded by guilt.

“Well, it was… uhh… fun meeting you guys, but I have to head back now,” I said, getting ready to bail. Enough embarrassment for a day. Served me right for wanting to get out of the safety of my home. Never again.

“Come on, we’ve just met and you wanna leave already?” Mellie said with a disappointed look on her face.

“It’s not that, I just have some things to do at home,” I tried excusing myself. “Give me your phone number and we can hang out another time,” I said fishing my phone out of my pocket.

“The things will still be there tomorrow, but you’re never getting back today,” Jimmy said with a wink.

“Wow, who knew my brother was a philosopher,” Mellie arched an eyebrow at him. I laughed.

“Please, Miss,” Sadie latched onto my hand, pulling me towards the booths. “Daddy said I’ll get to be your guide today, show you around the fair. Pleaaase.” How could you say no to a kid? Big-eyed, freckled, and more full of life than I’d ever been.

I looked over to Clyde who had returned to a somewhat normal shade, although there was still some pink tinting his cheeks. He still seemed highly uncomfortable about this whole thing, his whole body looking tense. I tried imagining what he felt: a week ago he was living a (supposedly) peaceful life and then Baby was back in town and he’d been insulted, hit on and then embarrassed by his brother in front of his family. If I’d been in his place, I would have faked my death and left the country by now.

“I don’t think I should…” I said, hoping that at least one of the siblings would take the hint and leave it be.

“Nonsense!” Jimmy proclaimed, patting me on the shoulder and nudging me towards Sadie. “Come stay with us a while and I promise you’ll have plenty of time to do whatever you were planning on doing.”

“Are you willing to help out?”

“If that’s what it takes…”

I snorted. “Half an hour then I’m gone,” I said, following them towards the booths. I send Clyde an apologetic look, hopefully he wouldn’t be bothered too much by my presence for the next half an hour. He seemed to have regained his composure and was following us closely.

Sadie was still holding my hand as we were mingling into the crowd of people staring at the attractions. She diligently explained to me what everything was, like it was my first time going to a country fair. It was entertaining to watch. She was a really cute kid and honestly, after so many days of self-imposed isolation, it was nice to interact with people in my free time.

“So, how’s it like being back in your hometown again?” Mellie asked, once Sadie ran over to her dad.

“Nice, peaceful.” Or that’s how it should have been, if I’d been a little smarter. “But it’s gonna take a bit of getting used to. It’s definitely keeping me busy. My roof just started leaking, something I never thought I’d have to experience, but hooray for adult life,” I laughed.

“Did you get it fixed?” she asked, a little concerned.

“No, not yet. Called a couple of contractors, but they didn’t have any opening this month.” I sighed. “I don’t have that many contacts in the area, but I’ll keep looking and hope there won’t be rain anytime soon.”

“That sucks,” she said and turned to her brother. “Hey Jimmy,” she yelled, “do you know anyone who can fix a roof?”

“What happened to it?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, truthfully. “It’s just raining into my living room.”

“I can come take a look when I’m free. If it’s not something big I can fix it for you.” He offered.

“Thanks, but…” Was I stupid enough to refuse? Yes.

“You don’t trust my skills?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t want you to waste your free time fixing my leaky roof.” It wasn’t just that. I generally preferred to work with people I didn’t know, who were paid to do a job and with who I could argue at the end if the job wasn’t done properly. With friends and family, you just accept what you get, smile and then pay someone else to fix it later. Plus, if they refused payment, you’d have to find a way to make it up to them which meant more complications. And in this particular case I knew I shouldn’t be spending more time with Clyde or his family if I wanted my unrequited crush to die anytime soon. But how do I tell Jimmy that, when he seemed so eager to help?

“It’s no problem. I’ll take a look and if it’s something I can’t do, I’ll put you in touch with some people. When are you free?”

“Not sure, my schedule isn’t fully decided yet.”

“Then give me a call and we’ll see what works for the both of us. Clyde gimme your phone.” That earned him a frown from his brother.

“Why? What happened to your phone?” he said on what I guessed was a rather disapproving tone, but handed him the phone nonetheless.

“It’s broken.”

“He forgot to pay for it,” Sadie explained with a giggle.

“I didn’t forget, I’m not paying it in sign of protests to the shitty plan they forced down my throat,” he muttered. “Anyway, what’s your number?”

He punched in the number and gave me a call. I typed the name Clyde but then changed my mind and saved it as ‘Logan Bros’. Clyde never really wanted my number, so it was just a way for me to get in touch with Jimmy if I needed help. I decided to never call it unless the roof caught fire and I was trapped underneath.

The phone went back to Clyde and I saw him fiddle with it a bit, probably saving the number. I wondered what he saved me as. Probably used my real name, since I’d never heard him call me Baby. Although for some strange reason, I wouldn’t have minded even if he did. No matter how much I hated the nickname, I was sure I’d very much enjoy it if he moaned it in my ear as he pulled me closer to his chest and… stop. Restrain yourself, woman.

Sadie kept her promise and was a very good guide, which meant I was now very well acquainted with everything at the country fair. Jimmy had bought us corn dogs and cheesy fries and donuts and refused to let me pay for anything, so I retaliated by buying everyone snow cones and funnel cake. By the time we reached the shooting galleries, I was so full I was ready to burst.

As Sadie was searching the booths for the toy she wanted I bought a bottle of water, hoping to wash away the nausea caused by all that deep fried food I had shoved down my throat earlier. Seeing that Clyde had fallen behind and we could finally be alone for a bit, I decided to go and talk to him.

“Sorry for crashing your family outing,” I said, standing besides him as we both watched Sadie’s quest to find the best toy. “It wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s alright” he said, briefly glancing at me. “I have to apologize for how my brother acted today. I guess he’s just excited that you’re back in town. He doesn’t have that many friends.”

I had to admit that Jimmy Logan being lonely and not surrounded by hordes of friends was something that I would have never imagined. But I could see it now, after all we were both in the same position: two formerly popular kids that had fallen from grace and were now regular nobodies. Most friendships we made in our teens weren’t the kind that lasted a lifetime.

“I’m actually really enjoying this,” I said, trying to open the water bottle and failing. My hands were still very greasy from all that deep fried food. “But don’t tell anyone or I have a feeling I might get friend-dopted by your family and you’ll never get rid of me,” I said with a wink, to which he smiled. An actual smile. Directed at me.

“Lemme help you with that,” he said, noticing my pathetic attempt at opening the bottle. He held it under his left arm, effortlessly unscrewing the cap.

“I’m completely useless” I mumbled retrieving the bottle, and he chuckled.

In the meantime Sadie seemed to have found what she was looking for and dragged both Clyde and me towards one of the booths. She showed him what he wanted and after paying he was given a shabby airgun. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone look at a rifle with more contempt in their eyes. I was certain he was used to a different type of guns, especially since he had been in the military.

“Piece of crap,” he mumbled, to no one in particular, disgust clear in his voice.

“Welcome to the glamorous world of carnivals, Mr. Logan,” I laughed.

He shot me a dirty look and aimed. He missed the first two targets, but got the other three. It was still quite impressive, I was sure the only thing I’d be able to hit with any rifle would be my foot, especially since everyone knows the games are rigged and the guns aim screwed on purpose. He paid for another round and I kept my fingers crossed. Sadie had climbed onto her father’s shoulders and was cheering from above.

This time he got the first target with very little effort. And the second one. And the third. By the fourth I was probably as excited as Sadie, although a little less vocal. The fifth target came down just as effortlessly as the others and both Sadie and I cheered loudly. The vendor faked excitement and handed him the toy, making a bit of a spectacle to attract other customers. ‘Look everybody, you can win even with one arm!’ he bragged, and I hated him already, but Clyde didn’t even seem to notice.

“Which one do you want?” he asked Mellie, after giving Sadie her toy.

“One of those,” she said, pointing to a bunch of little plushies that could be hanged on the rearview mirror.

“Alright,” he said, and paid for another round. This time, it seemed like he didn’t even have to aim. He just pointed the rifle and the targets went down one after another, to the vendor’s increased irritation and to my delight.

Clyde gave the toy to his sister who thanked him with a kiss on the cheek, then turned to me. “Which one do you want?”

“Me?” I said, taken by surprise. “You want to get me one too?”

Masterlist

Previous Part

Next part

[peter-parkers-backpack]

The Perfect Night Part 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader, Tony x daughter!reader

Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Warnings: Language, a very pissed Tony (yes this is absolutely a warning), insecurities

Genre: Lil bit of angst, then some fluff

A/N: Woah, tons of people requested a part two, and I somehow found a little bit of time to write, so of course I jumped at the chance to write this one. Many people requested many different things for the part two, so I tried to fit them all in the best I could. Love you all! Also, if you have a request, please send it to the blog I made for writing @nerdywrites from now on. Thank you!

Part 1

“Fuck you Parker” Peter yelled at himself as he punched one of the walls in his room, luckily May wasn’t home. “Fuck you for letting” punch “the most amazing” punch “girl, in the world” punch “get away” punch.

He had successfully made a decent sized hole, but lazily threw a poster over it. That wasn’t what he was worried about.

He wasn’t even worried about being Spider-Man anymore. He wasn’t worried about The Vulture. He wasn’t even worried about the Spanish test he had the next day that he forgot to study for. The only thing on his mind at the moment, was getting (Y/n) Stark back.

Peter Parker called her 17 times. He sent multiple text messages, all that were left on read. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get ahold of her. 

Then he decided to do the only thing he had left, he was going to see her in person. He guessed this wasn’t his best idea, considering he was about to walk into a building that housed the one and only Tony Stark. Who was undeniably planning his murder at this very moment.

But it was all he had.

She was all he had.

And he would go through Hulk to get her back.

Peter may have been a tad over-confident. When Tony answered the door, his expression hardened “Parker”

“Please Mr. Stark, I-I know you’re mad at me-“

“I wouldn’t sugar coat it”

“Okay, you’re ready to murder me.”

“That’s more like it”

“I-I get that, I deserve it. In fact I invite you to do so, but please I have to talk to her. Please.” He begged, not even caring that he was practically on his knees.

Tony sighed, still not dropping his glare “You can come in, but you can’t talk to my daughter. We are going to have a conversation.”

Peter gulped “O-Okay”

Once they were inside, he was led to the kitchen, where he sat on a barstool as Tony made coffee.

“When (Y/n) announced that she was going to go to Homecoming with you, I told her one thing. I told her that she was too young to go to a dance, that I knew what happened there. After, when I asked her how the night went, I was actually eager to hear the answer. She was so excited for that night, she spent five hours shopping with Nat and Wanda to find the perfect dress, she spent almost the same amount of time getting ready.

“When I saw the way you looked at her, I thought that she would definitely be okay, because she was with someone who loved her.

“But do you know how heartbreaking it was to hear her response? She said, and I quote, ‘You know how you said you know what happens at dances? Well how many times do people get stood up?’

“Do you know how hard it was to hear that?”

A tear slipped out of Peter’s eye “I know I’m an asshole, I know I don’t deserve her, but I also know that I love her and I have to make up for my mistakes.”

“How do I know you are going to do that Peter? How do I know you aren’t going to fuck with her feelings again? How do I know that even if she gives you another chance, you aren’t going to break her heart a second time?” his voice was getting louder with each word, until he closed his eyes and took a deep breath “How do I know that Peter?”

“Because I love her. I love her more than anything, and there is no way in hell I am going to let her get away again. And if I’m fortunate enough to get her back, which I will do everything in my power to do, I am not going to make another huge mistake. I swear on my life that I will make sure no one hurts her, and that includes me.” He was standing now, also raising his voice.

Tony sighed “I will give you one chance. If she forgives you, so will I. But know this Peter, if you ever hurt her again, we will not be having a conversation. It will be so much worse.”

“Thank you” was all he said before bolting as fast as he could to the elevator.

When he got to her door he paused a second before knocking gently three times.

“I told you dad, I don't need you to check up on me every half hour.”

“It’s not Tony” was all he said, and there was a few seconds of silence.

“What are you doing here?” was all she asked.

“Can I come in?”

A few more second of silence, then the door opened.

She looked like a mess, he hair wasn’t brushed, there were fresh dark circles around her eyes, making her red, tear stained cheeks pop out more.

He felt awful, he had done that. He had made the person he loves most cry, he had put her in that pain.

“I’m so sorry (Y/n)” 

“You have every reason to be.” she said, refusing to break eye-contact “What excuse did you come to make this time?”

“I have no excuse for treating you like that, I-I just came to say sorry. I really mean it (Y/n).”

“Do you? Do you really? Because it seems like all I've heard from you in the past month is ‘sorry’, yet you do nothing to make it up. Even our make-up dates had to be made up.”

Peter looked down, then back up at her beautiful (e/c) eyes, that glistened with tears.

“I know I was stupid, so stupid.” he saw as she turned around to wipe a fallen tear and as she turned toward him he hugged her as more tears fell, and more.

“W-why did you do it Peter? W-was I n-not g-good enough? I mean, I know I wasn’t, but you could have a-at least told me instead of leaving me hanging every n-night.” she sobbed.

Peter backed up shocked “W-what? What do you mean you weren’t good enough?”

“I mean it’s pretty obvious, I’m nothing like the other girls. I’m not as pretty or desirable. I don't know why you would want me instead of someone like Liz Allen.”

Peter hugged her again “I don’t want to ever hear you say those words again (Y/n) (M/n) Stark. You are absolutely gorgeous, and smart, and hilarious. You can cheer anyone up by just walking in the room. You aren’t afraid to geek out with me and Ned, and you do what you like even though you’re a Stark, which means that someone’s always following you. I don’t want Liz or anyone else (Y/n), I want you.”

She let out another sob and clutched him tighter. He was also crying at his point “A-any chance we could give it another go?”

She said nothing, just looked up and kissed him “Does that answer your question?

He laughed and kissed her again, the feeling of her lips giving I'm the best feeling he had felt in awhile “I don’t deserve you”

“Damn straight”

They both jumped as they heard a slow clap, coming from none other than Tony Stark, standing alongside most of the Avengers.

Natasha and Wanda looked like they were trying as hard as they could to keep large grins off their faces. Obviously failing. They were perhaps the biggest fans of (Y/n) and Peter, and even after what happened they knew them two couldn’t last 24 hours without each other. 

(Y/n) glared at them as if to say ‘shut up’, but she knew they were going to ask non-stop questions later, when they weren’t teasing her.

Peter however, focused on the others in front of him. Tony had his death glare of his face, and wore a shirt that made the arc reactor on his chest pop out. Bucky was positioned so he face a little to the side, showing his metal arm. Thor had his hammer in his hands while both him and Steve stood tall, flexing a bit to show their muscles. Then he caught the eye of Natasha Romanoff, who he knew was a badass assassin who wasn’t afraid to do anything, and Wanda Maximoff, the trained agent who could move things with her mind.

He was to scared to find words, luckily (Y/n) saw, she rolled her eyes and chuckled “Awww, look at them trying to be all intimidating.“

Peter didn’t dare agree with her, though normally he would have laughed. 

“You all can go polish your crocs now” she said jokingly before dragging Peter into her room, the last thing he heard was Tony’s yell of “DON’T YOU DARE CLOSE THAT DOOR“ before she pulled him into another kiss.

[all-these-wild-things]

1 all the way through 85. All the asks. All of them.

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Um, to an extent, yes. A physical attraction is definitely important in a relationship. That being said, I feel physical attraction comes along emotional/mental attraction. Take that as you will.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? Yeah, of course. They work, sometimes. They help us grow, make us who we are. It’s healthy to be in relationships, even if they’re brief.

3. Are you a virgin? Nope.

4. Are you in a relationship? I mean, I certainly have a certain kinda’ relationship with a very special person at the moment, but I’m not sure that qualifies in this question.

5. Are you in love? I do believe so, yes.

6. Are you single this year? Yes.

7. Can you commit to one person? Absolutely.

8. Describe your crush: She’s cute, she’s artistic, she’s smart, she’s driven (toward what I’m not quite sure yet, but she works real hard), she’s sexy, she’s funny, and she’s laughs at my jokes.

9. Describe your perfect mate: Eh, I’m not down for this one. I don’t know if there’s one person out there that’s “perfect” for me. There’s always conflict and that’s not a bad thing. I guess something that’d make a mate “perfect” would be a high tolerance for my fuckery. :^)

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can tell how you might be able to feel about a person from the first time you look into their eyes. I don’t know if that’s love, but…

11. Do you ever want to get married? Sure.

12. Do you forgive betrayal? Not easily, and if I do, I never forget it.

13. Do you get jealous easily? Depends. I don’t get jealous of my partner’s friends. I don’t really get jealous over mild flirtations either. Only time I really get jealous is when I see someone make a move at the person I’m intimate with. That’s the time to show a little flex. End of the day, though, she’s with me. *Shrug*

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? Yes.

15. Do you have any piercings? No.

16. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet!

17. Do you like kissing in public? Yes.

20. Do you shower every day? I try.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I’m pretty sure, either that or she’s a skilled liar.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Probably.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Of course.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Nah.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? We don’t always get what we want.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Probably.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? Unfortunately.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? No.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? lmao yes.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yup.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yeah.

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yup.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yes.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Oh yeah.

37. Have you ever liked someone your friends hated? Yeah.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? I believe so.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? When have I not?

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? For sure.

41. Have you had sex so far this year? Yeah.

42. Already answered.

43. How long was your longest relationship? Seven months?

44. How many boyfriend/girlfriends have you had? More than I recall.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? That was a long time ago. Probably a couple.

46. How many time did you have sex last year? The only person I had sex with last year was in December to early 2017, so probably a few times. idk

47. How old are you? 21.

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would say? “You think I care about your boyfriend” or something like that.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Can’t relate. Single.

50. Already answered.

51. Is there a boy/girl you would do absolutely everything for? A couple.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Yeah, because I’m done with them.

53. Already answered.

54. Is there someone you will never forget? Yes. I’m putting a representation of @all-things-cameron and my long-term bond on my body, in ink, forever.

55. Share a relationship story: It ended badly. The end.

56. State 8 facts about your body: Hairy, tall, broad, ticklish, pale, chubby, mine, beautiful in its own way.

57. Things you want to say to an ex: Hey, I’m not sorry we didn’t work out. I don’t mean that as a dick move, I just mean that you’re probably better off without me. I’m an asshole. Also, it was just our time to part ways.

58. What are five ways to win your heart? Food, jokes, common interests, long conversation, comfortable silence. Really need all five.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture) Look at my #me, you’ll see plenty. I’m sick atm, so no selfies.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 10+ yrs on a couple occasions, me being the junior.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Their eyes and the signs they give.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could do for/to you? Enter a committed, long-term relationship with me. :^)

63. What is your definition of “having sex?” When two consenting adults come together and make sweet, sweet love in whatever form they please.

64. What is your definition of cheating? When two consenting adults come together and make sweet, sweet…intimacy behind one or both’s partner’s back.

65. What your favorite foreplay routine? Give me a bratty girl. ;)

66. What is your favorite roleplay? Cops and robbers. :^)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Doing just about anything with someone I care for deeply.

68. What is your sexual orientation? I’m straight. I mean, yeah, I fucked a dude, but I don’t consider myself gay or even bi. Wouldn’t really fuck a dude again, unless it was special circumstances.

69. What turns you off? Not much, but uh, general “aggrivating” behavior, I suppose.

70. What turns you on? Almost everything. Certains looks, certains touches, certain words, movements, gestures…The list goes one.

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? Don’t really get exceptionally kinky wet dreams. So idk.

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? Fuck, Daddy, Please, “Please, Daddy,” and uh, just about anything else that means she’s begging. :)

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Bring me a milkshake. I’m starving and want ice cream.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? Hair, eyes, smile, booty.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Don’t recall.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? Not for me to say. You’d have to ask the people from my past.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? I mean, it’s chill as long as both folks are adults. However, there is a point where age gaps lead to experience gaps and older partners are sometimes in completely different stages in life than younger ones. Leads to couples wanting different things, which is kinda’ unhealthy.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? I got a thing for people that aren’t available to me. It’s become a trend.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Idk if it qualifies as jealousy (might be more envy, but it’s a complicated situation) but that was probably about…thirty minutes ago. Friday, October 20, 2017 at 10:15pm. :^)

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? This morning.

81. What are five people you find attractive? Too many to think of. Sorry, can’t answer.

82. Who is the last person you hugged? @maybridges99

83. Who was your first kiss with? A girl from my second grade class. Think her name was Lauren.

84. Why did your last relationship fail? Idk, ‘cause I’m an asshole?

85. Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Probably not again. idk though.

@whimsicallyart I hope you’re happy! XD This is a tell-all of my fuckin’ life, I swear! Thank you though, really distracted me! Much appreciated. :) 

[shirohibiki]

well, folks, here it is. a month late and ~18600 words, my new record for longest fic to date. i’m sorry it’s so crazily long and crappy like everything else and i’m REALLY sorry it took so long, but… i hope y’all like it anyway, lmao i spent an UNGODLY fucking amount of time slaving over this. note: there are some explanations that are repeated because this is technically a standalone fic so it’s there for those who don’t read the others, but i’m actually putting some things in a loose timeline of sorts now. not all fics are in it or may not be listed, just the major stuff i guess idk

written for my spongebob human AU, timeline: [1] | [2] | [3]

spongebob is hosting one of his famous christmas parties, and sandy hatches an evil scheme: get spongebob drunk and encourage him to go kiss squidward under some mistletoe, in an effort to perhaps jump-start some progress in their relationship. she persuades him easily, and one totally smashed spongebob goes to give squidward the wildest smooch of his life. this causes all sorts of Feelings within squidward, but before he has the chance to confront spongebob about it, it’s apparent the next morning that spongebob has entirely forgotten the affair. squidward definitely isn’t going to remind him, and nobody else does either, so he must suffer in silence and try to deal with all of these foreign emotions.

merry belated christmas, everyone. i love all of you so much. <3 this is my gift to the beautiful squidbob community; thank you for being such a bright spot in my life!

Once Spongebob learned how to properly host parties, a Spongebob party was the best party in town.

This Christmas party was no different – and it was only the first one of the month! For every weekend in December, up to and including Christmas itself, he threw a festive shindig.

He’d gone all-out, as per usual fashion – the entire pineapple was decorated inside and out, chock full of jolly holiday cheer. Wreaths, garland, ribbons, lights, mistletoe, stockings, ornaments, candy canes, snowglobes – you name it, he had it. On the front of his snow-covered pineapple hung an inviting banner that read, ‘Mele Kalikimaka!’ A herd of glowing reindeer lounged about in the front yard, accompanied by a snowman family. His Christmas tree was stunning – he’d picked out the biggest coral tree he could find and made sure it was perfect in every way, with every ornament hung with care and every strand of lights threaded with precision. His fireplace roared welcomingly, providing an incredibly cozy heat for people to snuggle by. Glistening multicolored lights and garland were run along the walls of every room with red bows accentuating them. Countless other decorations adorned his household which inspired great holiday spirit for all. The banquet provided was nothing to sneeze at, either. His grandmother and Squidward’s mother both baked their famous cookies, and combined with the other various desserts, those sweets were a force to be reckoned with. Spongebob home-cooked a lot of the meals; the ham, the turkey, the kielbasa, the bean salad, the roasted vegetables, the mashed potatoes, the baked ziti, and so much more… The pepperoni bread was from a nearby Italian joint, but it was a must-have. His parents often came to help him, along with Sandy – Patrick was banned from the kitchen. As in he wasn’t even allowed to be in the same house while they cooked. If nothing else, Spongebob was a perfectionist. That meant every spread, like the rest of his house, looked like it was straight out of a Christmas magazine with how neat and ornate it was… Until people started eating, of course!

Spongebob loved Christmas. Ever since Sandy told him all about it that fateful day… And the day he met the real Santa Claus… It had easily become his favorite holiday. He adored everything about it! The shopping, the decorating, the snow aplenty! The gifts, the love in the air, the chestnuts roasting! The mistletoe~… Oh, Christmas… It was the most wonderful time of the year indeed.

By 5 PM, almost everyone had arrived and the party got underway. Joyful holiday music and the sound of chatter filled the well-lit rooms while the host flitted about, checking on everyone just to make sure they were having the Best Party Ever™. The very picture of adorability, Spongebob wore a beautifully gaudy reindeer themed ugly sweater that hung off the shoulder, a headband with reindeer antlers, and tight black slacks. Along with his rosy freckled cheeks, captivating cerulean eyes, fluffy flaxen hair and gap-toothed smile, he dazzled all of the partygoers. Since things had now settled down, he was finally able to go relax for a moment. He trotted over to a table and sighed in relief as he seated himself. “Oh boy…” Being host sure could be tiring! He loved it, though. Everyone looked so great in their sweaters and button-downs and dresses, and they were all enjoying themselves.

Blue eyes roved around the crowded room – where was… Ah. There he was. Squidward was sitting on a couch across the room, appearing to be quite a bit less grumpy than he usually did, sporting a charming ugly sweater like always. It was snowman themed this time! He was actually talking to someone, too! It was so nice to see him having a good time… Spongebob sighed again, more wistfully this time, propping his arm up on the table and resting his cheek in his palm. Gee… What he wouldn’t give to be sitting in his lap with one of Squidward’s arms around his waist. That’d be swell. If it were possible, he managed to become even more romantically charged than he already was around holidays like Christmas or Valentine’s. It was just – it looked so nice for couples, with the hugging and the kissing and the scarf-sharing and the cuddling by the fire and the…

Gosh… It’d be real swell.

“Howdy, Spongebob!” A familiar voice pulled him from his melancholy-tinged thoughts. One Sandra Cheeks had approached him – he smiled up at her.

“Hiya, Sandy.”

“Takin’ a break? Neptune knows you deserve one!” She said, clapping him on the back as she pulled up a chair next to him.

“Hehe. Naw, I’m okay. I don’t mind the work!” She looked gorgeous tonight too, which came as no surprise. Makeup wasn’t something she wore too often, but tonight, she’d used some glittery gold eyeshadow with a deep plum lipstick and it was absolutely incredible on her. He could also see that she was wearing a wonderful ugly turtleneck sweater under her aquatic suit – such a shame she couldn’t take that dang old thing off. It was always so in the way. Curse their differences in oxygen intake. She had her thick brown curls pulled into pigtails like usual and a pretty burgundy bow on her tail that even lit up! And boy, that fur was fluffy today! “Ooh, I see you took extra care to fluff up your tail today!” He complimented, reaching over to pet through the soft pelt, marveling at it. Sandy chuckled.

“Yup! I brushed it for ten whole minutes! Gettin’ the bow perfect was kind of a challenge, but I managed it!”

“You sure did!” They shared a laugh before Sandy silently observed him for a moment or two. His expression had fallen – he seemed a tad distant, and, looking down, she spotted him continually squeezing some of the fabric of the hem of his sweater. Occasionally, his grip flexed so hard his knuckles went white.

“So, Sponge… Feelin’ kinda lonely, are ya? You’ve been quiet tonight.”

“Wh—“ He whipped around to gape at her. Jeez, she was way too astute! “I… No, I’m fine! I’m just really happy that everyone’s here, and that they’re all loving my party.” She tapped her fingers against her helmet thoughtfully, glancing to Squidward. Soon, a grin spread across her face.

“Maaaaybe y’all should go talk to ‘im.”

“I will in a bit, when he’s not busy.” Spongebob shifted uncomfortably, averting his gaze. The cloth he’d been toying with was now clutched in a firm, unforgiving hold.

“You suuuuuure put up a lotta mistletoe.” Sandy was ruthless in her attempts. She could tell Spongebob was sort of upset – not to mention anxious – and wanted to urge him to at least go and be near Squidward to put him more at ease. To her amusement, he flushed.

“Wh—it’s just decoration! I mean, I definitely encourage kissing for anyone who wants to, though.” Spongebob was a lover of romance, through and through. At that moment, an idea wormed its way into Sandy’s head. That grin of hers turned a shade more devilish, but to her best friend’s surprise, she relented, rising from her seat.

“I’m gonna get you a drink, okay? Wait right here, don’t you dare go on gettin’ up. There are others people can go to if they need somethin’.” She wagged a finger at him scoldingly. He pouted, but didn’t bother to argue because he knew he wouldn’t win that one.

Passing by numerous talkative revelers, Sandy skipped gleefully over to the beverage table in the kitchen. It was time to liven up this party. Larry, who was chilling out nearby, greeted her. He wore an ugly sweater too – but his was sleeveless. Had to show off those guns somehow!

“Hey, Sandy! How’s it hangin’?”

“Great! Just gettin’ our hard-workin’ lil’ Sponge a drink, heh.” Larry had been taking a sip of his water, but paused with the cup to his lips upon hearing her tone. His eyes narrowed suspiciously. He saw her reach for the cranberry juice from behind the fountain of punch.

“… Yeah? What’re you getting him?” The pineapple juice was next. Oh no, he knew what she was up to… She was so obvious about it too! She didn’t even bother to hide her smile!

“A Sponge’s lil’ helper~.” Sandy’s expression went downright sinister then. The vodka was next to be added to her beautiful cocktail. Hopefully there were cherries or limes around! Frowning, Larry stepped forward.

“Whoa, hey there, now wait a sec. What are you planning? We all know he loves baybreezes, but somehow, I don’t think he was the one who asked for it.” He had a very strong suspicion. It was confirmed by her cackling maniacally.

“HA! I think he needs to loosen up a bit! He gets wound up tighter than a snake ‘round a rodent it found for dinner when he hosts parties.” Larry placed his hands on his hips as she mixed it into a beautiful sunset – Spongebob’s favorite part of the drink. She was admittedly quite good at it blending the colors together.

“Loosen up, yeah. But you’re trying to get him all over Squidward. Are you sure this is a good idea? What if he does or says something he regrets?” His personal hangups with Squidward aside, he was mostly worried about Spongebob getting hurt in some way.

“P’SHAAAAWWW! He can just blame it on bein’ drunk, ain’t no thing!” Sandy’s evil laughter only continued. Her brew was now COMPLETED! The lifeguard pinched his brow.

“… Dude, it’s only 6. We can’t get him drunk this early.” She opened her mouth to speak, but went no further. Her brow creased. It would be a problem if the host passed out too early.

“… Hm. Well… Dinner’ll be served soon, right? Then he won’t need to supervise as much.” Be that as it may, he would try to regardless, knowing Spongebob. “So I mean, I don’t see why not, once all the food’s ready to go.”

“Oh boy,” Larry groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Sandy returned to Spongebob but instead of giving him what she’d made, told him he should probably help serve dinner first just to get it out of the way. It wasn’t like much had to be done – they just had to uncover the platters and make sure everything was warm and ready, mostly. He hadn’t even seen what she’d made him, but agreed nonetheless – his guests were of the utmost priority, they came first! Unsurprisingly, he went out of his way to make sure every single partygoer had everything they needed and that Patrick was not permitted to inhale all of the food. Frank, who was sitting at the table in the dining room, noticed him still buzzing about even after everyone had been served. “Spongebob, go eat already! We’re all fine, take a breather!” Others around him nodded in agreement. Spongebob turned, having been fussing over one of the M&M bowls.

“Wha? Uh, are you su—“ Sandy interrupted by walking right up to him and holding out his drink, beaming. It was a bit diluted now because she’d had to put in more ice to keep it cool, but she could certainly make more.

“Here. You need to sit yer butt down and spend time with us rather’n the candy dishes.”

“Yeah! We wanna talk to you, Spongebob!” Abigail agreed. “You always do this! You get so worried, but we’re all able to help ourselves, and there are other people we can go to if we need something. Just sit and hang out, okay?” Spongebob fretted a bit, feeling bad – he’d not realized he was that obsessive. He just wanted to throw a good party, so he spent a lot of time worrying and fixing things – at least in the beginning of the night. No matter what, as the party went on and fewer people needed him, he allowed himself to participate more. This time, though, they wanted him the whole party, not half of it. It wasn’t fair to him if he couldn’t have fun too.

“Gee… I’m sorry, I…” Finally regarding his beverage, he paused. His pupils dilated. A baybreeze… “It’s SO PRETTY,” he gasped, marveling at the way Sandy layered the liquids and how the glass glimmered with the reflection of the Christmas lights around them. Out of their close group of friends, she was the best at making mixed drinks. “AND A LOOPY STRAW?! WITH AN UMBRELLA AND CHERRIES?! OH, SANDY!” He pulled her into a tight hug, thrilled. Patting his back, she laughed.

“Yer welcome~! Drink up!”

“Oooh, already breaking out the alcohol, huh?” Evelyn asked, which gave Spongebob pause. Wait… Should he be drinking this early? The clock read 6:30. The party hadn’t been going on for very long… What if he drank too much and blacked out? He didn’t have a very strong constitution, and people needed him! He appeared as if he was going to protest, but he knew Sandy wouldn’t allow him to.

“… Okay, but just one!” He sat himself down at the table next to Larry, who wondered if Spongebob noticed that incredibly ominous grin on Sandy’s face.

“Drink! Drink! Drink!” Frank chanted. “You sure know how to make them, Sandy. Think you could teach me sometime? It always comes out muddled when I do it.”

“Hmm… Maybe I could host a workshop sometime, sure! It’s not too hard. Actually, Sponge, I can make another that’s real pretty like that, but has peach n’ orange juice in it! If you like yer baybreezes, you’d like this one.” He already seemed intrigued – hook, line, and sinker. He was sipping his current drink through his straw, thoroughly enjoying the mix of cranberry and pineapple. Alcohol itself wasn’t his favorite taste in the world, but he liked it with fruity things. Orange juice did sound good…

“What else is in it?”

“Like I said, pretty similar. Vodka, cranberry juice, peach schnapps, and orange juice. Or, at least, that’s one version of it. It’s all orange and red like these, but the orange is brighter.”

“Ooooh…” His eyes shone with wonder. He was such a sucker for the pretty colors, he couldn’t help it! He might have to have one now, it was so tempting… It would be fine, that was only two drinks! He didn’t even have to drink the whole thing! “What’s it called?”

Smirking, Sandy leaned forward a bit. “Sex on the Beach~.” There was a chance he wouldn’t get flustered, but… The way his countenance lit up rivaled the cranberry juice! Success! Larry tried to choke back a laugh and the others could be heard giggling. Spongebob quietly sucked his baybreeze through the straw, staring down at it, cheeks red. Unfortunately for him, whatever was swirling around in his mind eventually flustered him so much that he drained the entire glass in one go and then shouted, even redder than before,

“I WANT A SEX ON THE BEACH!” He pounded his empty glass down on the table. He wasn’t even that intoxicated – it had been fueled moreso by embarrassment. Those around him hushed for a moment before many burst into laughter. Larry couldn’t help it – oh, that was priceless! The delivery was perfect! Merely huffing, Spongebob crossed his arms. “There’s nothing funny about it! It’s just the name of a drink! Don’t be so lewd!” Sandy was chortling away as she got up to go make it for him. She’d have abs on top of her abs by the end of the night at this rate!

“Hoo doggie! Comin’ right up, Spongebob! One Sex on the Beach!” And back to the kitchen their squirrely friend ran.

“What happened to ‘just one?’” Evelyn teased, poking at his arm – this earned her another huff.

“It IS just one! It’s just one of – of a different kind! And it’s the only other one I’m having,” the blond insisted. Mr. Krabs noticed the commotion as he walked by with a plate of food in hand. Their host had already broken out the liquor? Hmm… He leaned over to whisper to Plankton, who was beside him.

“Think I should charge people fer the impendin’ Drunken Spongebob Shenanigans?”

“This is his house, Eugene,” Plankton replied flatly whilst picking a crumb off of his ugly sweater that matched Mr. Krabs’s.

“… Right, but… It’s like dinner and a show! People pay fer that!”

“In his own house, yes. If anyone could even attempt to use it for monetary gain, it would be him. Honestly, Eugene. You’re shameless.”

“Don’t you roll yer eye at me, Sheldon! Fine! I’ll just enjoy what we get to see, then.”

“Oh, Neptune. I think I’m going to need a drink…”

Sandy soon came back with another one of her beautiful concoctions. Deep orange and red, complete with a cherry, an umbrella, and a loopy straw. Everyone currently around them ‘ooh’ed and ‘ahh’ed. Spongebob squealed – it was so BEAUTIFUL! He held out his hands to take it from her, admiring at its sunset-esque gradient. Upon him taking his first sip, applause sounded.

“How’s it taste?! I might need one, Sandy!”

“Wow!! I love it!! The orange juice is so good with cranberry!” He honestly couldn’t tell if he liked pineapple and cranberry or orange and cranberry better… Both? Both. Both is good.

“That’s some good Sex on the Beach, eh, Sponge?” Sandy was out for blood tonight! Good lord! Sadly, she didn’t get the reaction she wanted – Spongebob merely nodded, contentedly drinking away.

“Mmhmm!” She knew he’d start getting tipsy quite swiftly – she’d added a biiiit more vodka than the recipe called for since the orange juice helped in masking it. She also wondered if she could get him to try another…

“I’ll make a round of drinks for y’all, sure! I know you aren’t done with that one yet, Spongebob, but how do ya feel about tryin’ somethin’ blue?” Oh, how easy it was to entice him. His wide eyes moved to her, the straw still between his lips.

“Blue..?” Ohh… Ohhhhhh… He loved blue… Anything blue Sandy made would definitely be good!

“As blue as yer pretty eyes.” She poked his nose. He mulled it over, but Frank made his decision for him instead.

“Yeah, we wanna see that one! If he doesn’t drink it, I will!”

“No no I’ll drink it I’ll drink it!” Spongebob said hurriedly, ditching his ‘just one’ policy in favor of pretty colors. Sandy couldn’t have been happier. He’d be smashed soon enough… And then… He might need a little push… And the pieces would fall into place. Larry shot the scientist a glare, but she ignored it and went skipping back to the kitchen.

“Hey, Sponge, maybe you should slow down a li—“ Larry stopped dead in the middle of his sentence and his eyes bulged upon seeing that HE’D ALREADY FINISHED IT. “Whoa—have you even eaten anything?! You should really take it easy, buddy!” Hearing Spongebob’s giggle made his stomach drop. Oh no. It had begun. If he’d not eaten anything to absorb it, with how fast he was downing those he’d be a goner in no time.

“Hee… Umm, I dunno. Maybe? Hey, Pat, did I eat anything?” Spongebob asked, leaning forward to see his friend who was three seats down from him, devouring the mountain of food he possessed. Hearing his name, he looked up, mouth stuffed with chicken.

“Uhhhh… Ahh…” Patrick had to swallow before he could speak. “I think I saw you eating some veggies and dip earlier?”

“Ohh, okay! Thanks, Pat!”

“Anytime, pal!” And right back to eating Patrick went. He wasn’t messing around – he’d already finished two plates. Spongebob’s smile returned to one unamused Larry Buffington.

“… Yeeeah. I mean, it’s something, but you should really have some turkey or mashed potatoes. Want me to get it for you?”

“Well…” The blond pouted down at his empty glass. “I wann’another… It’s all gone.” Larry was exasperated already. Sure, it was funny at first, but… He just – he wanted to protect Spongebob from doing something he’d really regret! Being drunk at a party was one thing. It happened. It wasn’t a big deal… But when you threw Squidward into the mix, things got risky, and Sandy pushing them together was a recipe for disaster. You could only blame so much on being drunk. What if he confessed his feelings in a sloppy and careless manner? Oh Neptune, the lack of a filter would lead to some really awkward professions. Just the thought sent a shiver down his spine – they might never see Squidward again after something like that. To his vexation, before he could speak further, Sandy brought a dream of a cocktail that indeed matched the cerulean of Spongebob’s irises as well as the water around them. It shimmered in the light enticingly. Drooling, Spongebob reached for it.

“Heeeeere y’are!” She chirped, but before she could hand it over, Larry snatched it from her.

“Sandy. C’mon, man. Let him take a break – you don’t want him getting sick, do you?” He held it up high so Spongebob couldn’t reach it, though that didn’t stop him from trying.

“Nngh—gimme—“

“Larry, why are you being such a party pooper?” Abigail whined. “What’s the problem? He’s cute when he’s drunk! Let him have fun! It’s a Christmas party!” The lifeguard soon found that the others were also chiming in to agree. Was he the only sensible one around here?! Squidward was the problem here, not Spongebob just being tanked! But… He reasoned that it wasn’t like Spongebob had never been intoxicated at a party Squidward was also at. It had gone alright then (even if Spongebob became clingier or flirtier), so why would it be any different now? Sandy, that was why. She had a specific goal in mind and it wasn’t just to let Spongebob flirt with Squidward on his own. No, she wanted more than that. She knew how tricky this situation was, why was she doing this?! Trying to force a change could go really badly… There was a possibility of success, but Larry wasn’t sure he wanted to bet on that.

“I hope you know what could happen,” Larry muttered to Sandy through a clenched jaw. This was serious stuff… She knew that. He understood that she wanted some progress – they all did, for Spongebob’s sake. But was this the way to go about it? Sandy’s demeanor shifted to that of uneasiness for a split second before she hid it.

“I’ve got it under control,” she said. Larry merely arched a doubtful brow and gave Spongebob his drink.

“Hm. Alright then, bro. Here you go. But take it slow this time, and eat something with it.”

“YAY!” Spongebob grabbed it right up and took a drink to see how it tasted. He wrinkled his nose a tad at first – this one had a stronger taste of alcohol. He was already buzzed, though, so it wouldn’t bother him too much. The cocktail kept him quiet while he savored it. Sandy served drinks to a few other people who wanted them, and things were relatively calm until Spongebob finished his third – probably quicker than he should’ve, but not as fast as the ones prior. “Ahhhh… Wowie, that was great! Thanks, Saaaandy~.” Looking down, he noticed a plate of some food Larry had gotten for him at some point. He scrutinized it, squinting – his vision was kinda… Blurry. What was even on this plate? Where had it come from? “Izzis… Bread?” He picked up what was indeed a piece of bread, sniffed at it, then took a nibble. Yes, this was probably bread. Maybe. Larry slid him some water as he snacked.

“Remember to always be hydrating, bud. It’ll help later when you wake up from this.”

“Thaaaaank yoooou~,” Spongebob sang, doing as he was told. Always be hydrating!! Yes!! He could do that! He’d make Larry proud! He downed his water, afterwards calling out for Sandy. “SANDY! LARRY SAID ALWAYS BE HYDRATING! CAN YOU MAKE ME ANOTHER?”

“I sure can, Spongebob! Whaddaya want?” Spongebob giggled giddily into his hands, swaying a bit. Larry didn’t bother to say anything, instead slapping a hand to his face. It was out of his control now.

“Sex~…” He didn’t finish saying the name of the drink for whatever reason.

“Oh, I’ll bet!” Evelyn laughed, and Abigail swatted at her.

“Oh my gosh, stoppp! Don’t be weird!” One more and he’d be utterly and completely wasted, even if Sandy skimped on the alcohol… Which she wouldn’t. Oh, she did hope he would forgive her in the morning… The brunette fetched him his desired Sex on the Beach, then watched him chug it aaaand…

“WOOOO! NOW THAT IS A DRINK! SEXIN’ ON THE BEACH IS RIGHT!” He stood suddenly then, slamming his hands onto the table, “PATRICK—Whoa…” Standing so fast disoriented him for a moment, but he recovered just as quickly. “PATRICK! LET’S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP, BUDDY! ARE YOU READY?!” Patrick’s head jerked up.

“Wha?”

“CHRISTMAS!”

“Oh—YEAH! Let’s do it!” Patrick eagerly jumped up as well and jogged over to his best friend. They took one another’s hand, both taking a step back in preparation.

“Here we goooo!” Frank grinned, leaning back to appreciate the show. The pair burst out into theatrical song and dance.

“IT’S SHAPING UP TO BE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY! NOT YOUR NORMAL, AVERAGE EVERYDAY!” Squidward wasn’t in the room to sing his part (not that he would anyway), so someone else did it for him, as was tradition for every Christmas party. Poor Squidward.

“Sounds like someone felled my old coral tree! Spongebob, Patrick, why’d ya do this to me?!”

“THE WORLD FEELS LIKE IT’S IIIIIN LOVERLY~!”

“Go away before I harm you bodily!”

“THIS CHRISTMAS FEELS LIKE THE VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS TO MEEEEEEEE~!” Spongebob was a bit off-key – he was unsurprisingly having trouble controlling his cadence. He and Patrick pranced around, a spectacle for all to see that was only enhanced by Patrick’s snazzy light-up sweater. The crowd was going wild! “THERE’LL BE SHOPPING, DECORATING, AND PLENTY OF SNOW! HEY, PATRICK, WHO’S THAT UNDER THE—“ Spongebob stopped abruptly, leaving Patrick to tumble and narrowly miss colliding with a nearby end table. “… Mistle… toe?” It was as if something connected in his mind at that moment – he stared at a nearby doorway in which mistletoe hung. No one was there, but it seemed like something was processing – perhaps a revelation of sorts. Plankton and Krabs had even stood in preparation to sing their parts, but everyone was left hanging, watching Spongebob.

Bingo.

“HEY, WAITASECOND!” Spongebob began to search the room, distraught. “WHERE’S SQUIDDY?!” It was as if he’d just noticed, even though Squidward hadn’t stepped foot in the room once. The others looked around too. Not everyone was in the dining room – there were many guests littered about the house, all having their own fun, so Squidward could’ve been anywhere. The only real restrictions were the bedrooms upstairs; every other room in the house was open.

While nobody else seemed to know, Sandy did. She’d gone to find Squidward – he’d actually been hanging out upstairs with a book to get away from the noise for a short while. He’d not been there for too long when she’d investigated, so he was likely still there. “I saw him earlier, Sponge,” she said, to which Spongebob rushed to her and grabbed her shoulders.

“Where?! We need ‘im here! How can—how can he do his part?!” He shook her as if it were the direst situation in the universe. It wasn’t like he would do his part anyway, so others did it instead, but that didn’t seem to matter.

“I know! He needs ta stand under the mistletoe, right?” Larry watched as this unfolded before him – she’d planted the seed. It was all over now – they could only guess what might happen. Spongebob stared at her owlishly for a few moments, a little more color filling his cheeks to add to what was already there. Mistletoe… Yeah… His gaze moved behind her to a doorway where he’d hung the festive plant. He missed Squidward… He wanted to cuddle up to him… Why wasn’t he here? Maybe he was busy… But surely he’d spare a little time for his bestest friend in the whole world, right? Mistletoe…

“I wanna…” Spongebob took a very deep inhale. “… Wanna go get ‘im. He needs to join in on the fun! It’s not a party without Squidward! Patrick, buddy, can you cover for me? Make—make sure my snail doesn’t get eaten by the pineapple, okay?”

“Oh—you bet, Sponge! I’ll take real good care of him!” Patrick hadn’t had a single sip of alcohol, but hey. At least he understood it.

They all watched Spongebob run off ungracefully, stumbling and tripping on his journey upstairs. After he’d left, the people at the table began to discuss amongst themselves. “Fifty bucks they kiss,” Fred wagered.

“Ehhh, I dunno. He hasn’t tried it before, has he?” Frank asked.

“Well, who knows, but there’s mistletoe involved here!”

“What if he confesses?”

“That would be a mess. I think he is close to doing it, though, one of these days.”

“Okay, guys, rev up those bets! Let’s see if our boy finally gets some tonight!” Cheers were heard all around. Of course, everyone knew by now – if you saw the two of them interact with any regularity, his crush was plain as day. It had been like this for years; everyone was just waiting for something to happen.

So far, Spongebob had found nobody on the third floor, because it wasn’t a place guests usually went. The first and second floors were the main hangouts, but he wanted to be thorough. Geez… He felt kinda dizzy. His eyes weren’t entirely focused… “Squiiiddyyyy? Are you up heeere?” He called, checking each room. Where could he be? Spongebob needed him, for a lot of reasons! … Should he take his shoes off as a defensive maneuver in case of emergency? OH, but what if Squidward wanted to polish them? He’d better keep them on then, just in case. You never knew if your friend was going to want to polish your shoes. “I—whoa! Pardon me, miss, ah—“ He’d run into a lamp, not a person. Just as he was reaching one of the last rooms in the hallway, none other than Squidward was leaving it. “Oh—!” Spongebob skidded to a halt, and Squidward greeted him upon noticing him.

“Oh, hey, Spongebob. How’s the party going? I must admit, your library only gets more impressive as it grows.” Squidward stopped in the doorway, hooking a thumb in his pocket while shifting his weight to the opposite hip. He slouched just slightly, holding little tension in his shoulders. There was a certain warmth in his normally weary carmine eyes and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards in a half-smirk as he regarded Spongebob. Draped over his lanky frame was a sweater that was a little too large, contrasted by snug jeans. The other stared at him, gaping – he seemed so relaxed! And he was so… Handsome… That sweater looked marvelous on him… Spongebob swore he was blinded by the sheer beauty of it all. And… Wait a second… He was standing under mistletoe! Unless that was a set of keys hanging from the doorframe. But that wouldn’t make any sense. Or would it? But it was totally mistletoe, and… Sandy said… And… Mistletoe…

“Oooh, wow, Squiddy, you sure are lookin’ good tonight,” Spongebob slurred, taking a wobbly step closer. “I just looooove that sweater… I’ve been lookin’ all over for you…”

“Oh? Why-- … Wait a minute.” Squidward squinted down at him – he was sort of acting like… “Are you drunk?” Oh boy. Great. “Already? It’s only 8 o’clock, Spongebob.”

“Nnnoooooo~… I’m not drunk, heehee…” He was nearly salivating – Neptune, Squidward was so—mmph. Squidward simply shook his head.

“You’re hopeless. Anyway, you’ve found me, so we can go back downstairs now.” He’d had enough time to recharge from the social interaction. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to deal with an inebriated Spongebob, but eh, he would see. Maybe he’d stick around. It was entertaining to watch Spongebob while he was drunk sometimes. When Spongebob didn’t move aside, Squidward blinked. “Well? What are you waiting for?” Why was Spongebob looking at him like that..?

In Spongebob’s hazy mind, the fact that Squidward hadn’t moved out of the doorway and away from the mistletoe told him that he was definitely interested in making out. It entirely ignored the fact that he was standing in Squidward’s way and that he’d either have to retreat back into the room or push past him to get out from under the decoration. “Ooh, Squiddy,” he purred, “I’d love to… I’m so glad you want it too…” He never said anything of the sort, Spongebob.

At first, Squidward had been about to question why his neighbor was getting breathy over… Going downstairs. Soon, however, he found himself in absolutely no position to ask that question – or any other, for that matter. Before he could speak, the blond had advanced, stepping right up to him and leaning up on his tippy toes to press their bodies together. He ran a hand down Squidward’s chest, blatantly feeling him up, his free arm hooking around his neck to tug him down a little. Squidward was paralyzed with shock – what—? What was happening? Whoa, those bedroom eyes – holy SHRIMP, what was going on—?! Before he knew it, Spongebob had pivoted them a little and backed him up against the doorframe. “I’ll make it good, I promise…” A deep and sultry tone was not something Squidward heard from him often. Before any of this could register, he was met with an entirely new and even more startling sensation.

Spongebob had roughly fisted some of his hair, the other hand clutching his sweater, and yanked him down into a crushingly needy kiss. Squidward’s mind went completely blank, any and all thoughts evaporating instantly. His entire body went rigid and the wind was knocked from his lungs. He didn’t return the kiss – the world around him had disintegrated and he was lost in a sea of nothingness. Time ceased to exist. Was he dreaming? Had he himself gotten drunk and passed out? Where even was he? What was he doing? Who was with him? Who was… What was…

Unrelenting, the blond tugged again at teal locks to tilt Squidward’s head a little more for better access. With the sheer force of the kiss, Squidward had no choice but to kiss back but was entirely unaware of his doing so.

“Mmmm… Mmh… Mm…”

It was only when Spongebob’s muffled noises reached his ears that all at once, reality came crashing down onto him at warp speed. Time went into hyperdrive instead of standing still. Squidward’s heart gave a sharp lurch and his eyes flew open in astonishment for a brief second before they screwed shut once more. Opening his mouth to gasp had been an involuntary mistake – he was then electrified with the feeling of tongue. Not much, though – just a gentle and questioning lick that went no further.

What…

… In the NAME OF DAVEY JONES’S LOCKER WAS GOING ON?!?!

There was… This was… It… Spongebob…

Spongebob…

SPONGEBOB!!!

Spongebob was kissing him! Not just on the cheek, nose, forehead, head, shoulder, or wherever else… But… The LIPS!!! Was this a nightmare? Was he in hell? Had he gone mad? It—

IT STILL WASN’T OVER!

Squidward’s frantic thoughts were now interrupted by the exceedingly prominent physical sensations. He could hear himself panting – his body was boiling up. His face was on fire. He was sweating and his knees were weak. He felt so lightheaded – a feeble noise escaped him while Spongebob’s desperate whimpers filled his ears. He was just now noticing how nice Spongebob smelled – his shampoo and cologne surrounded him with something he didn’t often give much consideration to. The strongest thing he could taste was the alcohol – eugh. There was an underlying fruitiness, however, and beneath that… An indescribable taste that was none other than Spongebob’s own. Spongebob had gotten a little braver with that tongue of his, and oh… The hair-pulling, gah—the hand running down his side—

Why did it feel…

Good?

It was sloppy, it was forceful, it was wet, and it was mindblowing. It was driven by such brazen passion that it was enough to make anyone’s head spin. He just couldn’t refrain from making sounds, which was humiliating, but he didn’t really have time to worry about that when Spongebob was grazing his lower lip with his teeth. He didn’t bite – at least, not yet. Squidward clawed at either side of the wall connected to the doorframe behind him, having needed something to grip onto, although it wasn’t much.

“Squidmmmph…” Spongebob moaned between fervent kisses, relishing in the sweet and heavenly taste of the person he so dearly adored. This was a dream come true! He was so lucky! He never, ever thought he’d get a real chance to kiss Squidward! (And technically, he hadn’t.) This was everything he’d ever wanted… Apparently, all Squidward needed was a little bit of mistletoe to be interested in doing this! Maybe he should carry some around in his pocket!

Why was each enthusiastic and energetic kiss leaving Squidward positively breathless? Why did he kind of sort of maybe not want to stop? Why was this happening in the FIRST PLACE? Why was… Why…

WHY WAS SPONGEBOB A GOOD KISSER?!?!

Who had he been able to PRACTICE with!? It certainly wasn’t Sandy, for obvious reasons! So why wasn’t this more awkward?! Why wasn’t this a pathetic, laughable attempt?! Why was this one of the best kisses he’d ever—NO, DAMNIT! THIS WASN’T—THERE WAS NO WAY IT COULD BE ONE OF THE BEST, NO SIR! It was just heat of the moment! The moment that was NOT GOOD, it was – it was a pitiful display really – he was… He was so amazing with his tongue and lips and teeth and—

Squidward was about ready to collapse. Or scream. Or cry. Or vomit. Or die. Or all five. He’d legitimately just thought of Spongebob Squarepants as being a good kisser. Unironically. Maybe because Spongebob Squarepants was still making out with him. His gut seared with shame and something else he really didn’t want to acknowledge. Every last shred of his sanity had shattered, hadn’t it? Was he hallucinating? He was surely tripping the fuck out, right?

… No.

No, this was the real king of geeky, aggravating losers in the flesh, demonstrating his apparent prowess in the art of French kissing that he’d picked up from literally who knew where. The real Spongebob Squarepants turning Squidward’s mind into a puddle of mush. He was livid for so many reasons, but he was also…

Oh, Neptune, he wasn’t ready for this to end.

To his delight displeasure, Spongebob delivered on that, continuing to treat him to a wild, heart-stopping ride of passion. He loved hated the way Spongebob was tugging at his hair and squeezing his hip. The warm weight of his tiny body pressed against his own proved to be really comfortable detestable. He wasn’t at all attracted by his refreshing unremarkable scent. The sounds he was making were enticingly adorable extraordinarily inappropriate and not something Squidward ever wanted to hear in his entire LIFE.

The day Squidward Tentacles enjoyed a hot makeout session with Spongebob Squarepants was the day he declared himself officially insane beyond all repair. He was a lost cause and he was so disappointed in himself. How could he stoop so low? His mother would be ashamed. It—it was just the pheromones! That was all! He wasn’t really reveling in it – that was DISGUSTING!

… Why did he get the sense he’d recently been through a similar experience of questioning his soundness of mind due to Spongebob? Hadn’t he thought some of these exact same things not too long ago for some other reason?

After what seemed to be eons, Spongebob finally withdrew with a groan. A trail of saliva followed him that he broke by licking his lips. Squidward literally heard himself whine at the loss, and was ready to die of shame in that very instant. They were both gasping for breath, exhausted from their tryst. Squidward could feel Spongebob’s small frame shaking too. “Oh, Squiddy,” the blond breathed, feeling even more intoxicated from the divine taste of his friend’s mouth. Lidded eyes met wide ones. “Thank you for the Churrsmurs… Chr… Mmf…” His voice cracked as he spoke. Squidward noticed how messy the other’s hair had gotten and how it was sticking in his face… How scarlet his cheeks were and the way it lit up his freckles… How his eyes held such endearment and were glazed with desire… “Churrsmurs press’nt… Polishin’ my shoes…” Spongebob tried again, very obviously having great difficulty regaining his composure. “I hope y’liked it… Was good fer ya…” A loopy titter left him. Gee, the room had been spinning for quite a while now! “Mmmph… We can go stairs, uh… Down… Nnuh. Kay?” He had no idea where the stairs were and if he did he’d likely have to crawl down them, but he’d cross that bridge when he got to it. He gingerly took a dumbfounded Squidward’s cheeks into his hands and gave him one last tiny, affectionate peck on the lips before pulling away.

Of course, he stumbled a little, squeaking as he hit the other side of the doorframe – whoa. “Oof…” Gotta be careful with those dresser drawers, their teeth could be sharp sometimes… He recovered, though, and managed to sloooowly stagger down the hallway, until he eventually found the stairs – there they were! Ooh, where did they lead to? Boy, he was so dizzy. He was not going to make it safely down those stairs if he tried to walk. Instead, he merely laid himself on his stomach and dragged himself down, having absolutely zero problems with doing so. He was surfing down the stairs! Shoot, he forgot his boogie board… It was perhaps a sad sight to see, but what else would you expect from someone who was absolutely drunk off their ass and high on pheromones? He was the happiest guy in the whole entire universe. Nothing could bother him. Sandy happened to find him halfway down the second flight of stairs and yelped in alarm.

“Spongebob! Are y’all okay?!” She asked, racing to him and picking the poor sot up in her arms.

“Uh huh~…” Spongebob closed his eyes and curled into her, drooling on her suit. “Squiddy wuz real nice’n polished my shoes fer me… Dinn’t even hafta take ‘em off…” Brows raised as Sandy stared down at him. Polished his shoes… SHE KNEW IT! She KNEW they’d been smooching harder than two rabbits in a den in the beginning of April! SUCCESS! SHE’D DONE IT! SHE HAD FINALLY GOTTEN SQUIDWARD AND SPONGEBOB TO KISS! (Assuming that didn’t mean something else entirely, but that was unlikely.)

… Now to hope Squidward didn’t move out or something crazy like that. But she had a feeling… She could sense it, and she had been able to for a while now. She didn’t think Squidward would be going anywhere. Huff and puff as he might, she could see some inkling of emotion there – it was just buried deep, deep down. Even if she was wrong, hey, at least they tried, and she sincerely doubted Squidward would do anything drastic either way. Hopefully, though, this would give his thoughts on it a little jump start. She also hoped nothing else had happened, like an… Accidental confession. Oh, she prayed. Larry would kill her if that happened. And so would Spongebob, actually. Aaaand probably Squidward. So. She hoped it was just a kiss and nothing more. “Did y’all shine ‘em good?” She tucked Spongebob close and carried him downstairs into the living room, where she then sat herself on the couch and kept him curled up in her lap.

“Mmmhmmm… Reeeal good… This Churrsmurs feels like th’very firs’ Churrsmurs t’meeeeeee~…” Sandy gestured to nearby onlookers to be quiet. Spongebob promptly fell asleep, his mewling snores beginning almost immediately. He was completely conked out. A shame since they didn’t get to see too much of Party Sponge, but they could always give him more drinks later! Hearing Spongebob was back, Larry ran into the room, silently questioning what had happened. Sandy gave him a wink and a thumbs-up. He seemed surprised… And uneasy. But instead of making a fuss, he went to go get a blanket and some water for Spongebob. Hopefully he wouldn’t have too much of a hangover when he awoke. The other partygoers began to either celebrate or lament their loss – money had been on that kiss, and that kiss had happened!

Meanwhile…

Squidward had slid down the doorframe slowly the minute Spongebob left, gawking, staring blankly ahead, a hand over his mouth. He just sat there, flabbergasted and white as a sheet, unable to swallow any of this. There was literally nothing in his head. He was in a state of pure shock.

After a solid two minutes of static, a brief flash of a memory hit him and that was enough to flush his cheeks with a bright crimson and get him onto his feet. Having risen too fast, he reeled, but was able to orient himself and surveyed the area frantically.

He needed to leave. He needed to go home right now. He was going to just leave through the back door – better yet, he could jump out the window and hope for a concussion. However he did it, he just needed to go, before anyone saw him or talked to him or even thought of him. He thanked Neptune that he lived right next door – he didn’t have far to go. Squidward made a break for it, running as fast as he possibly could for the exit. His path was luckily clear until the last hallway, but he ignored whoever was standing there and hurtled the hell out of the cozy pineapple of a house, bubbles forming in his wake.

Upon arriving home, Squidward locked every single door and window in the Moai head, and, quivering slightly, just sat on his bed, head bowed, that same shell-shocked expression on his face.

He was having a great deal of trouble thinking. Five minutes passed and he hadn’t moved, nor processed any sort of thought. It was all just white noise. After a few more minutes, he lay down on his side, wriggling under his plush periwinkle blankets so he was at least… Sort of comfortable. It was then he spotted his teddy bear on the pillow across from him – Spongebob had won that for him when Krabs had bought a crane game to keep at the Krusty Krab.

Spongebob…

Tremoring fingers lifted to trace over his lips and the color ultimately surged back into his cheeks.

Spongebob… Kissed him…

The words now echoed in his head.

Wait; was he positive that had been real? It could’ve been a dream! Hold on, WHY WOULD HE DREAM ABOUT THAT?! EW! NO WAY! But—hold on. If he hadn’t dreamt it… That meant it really happened, right? He knew he wasn’t drunk… So… That could only mean one thing.

He’d actually made out with his neighbor, coworker, enemy, rival, definitely-not-friend. They had exchanged… Saliva. Touched tongues. Speaking of TOUCHING, Spongebob had totally groped his chest! Squidward had felt that! HOW HORRIFYINGLY IMPROPER! And then he’d felt up his side and hip. Squeezed, even! And how roughly he pulled on his hair! How dare he?! How dare he… How dare… How…

Squidward continued to ghost the tips of his fingers over his lips in remembrance.

… Why?

Was it just because he’d been drunk? There was no mistake he’d known who he was kissing, but… What had spurred it aside from the drunkenness? He’d never done that before and he’d been plastered at plenty of parties. Not to excess, but just in general. He was a pretty fun drunk, all things considered – though he did get… Flirty.

Wait.

That was right… Usually he became (even more) clingy and bolder in his flirting. But Squidward wasn’t the only one he attempted to woo! He went for Patrick, Sandy, sometimes Larry… On rare occasions, lamps… But usually, he went for… None other than Squidward. But it didn’t mean anything, right? He was just… That was just how he was, wasn’t it? The fact that he sought out Squidward for the kiss was merely a coincidence. He probably tried to kiss the entire party downstairs! It didn’t mean a single thing!

… That gleam in his eyes… That husky and seductive tone… Squidward shivered. He didn’t think Spongebob had it in him, but apparently… Not that he found it attractive or anything outrageously vile like that! He was simply stupefied by it, seeing as how much of a dork the guy was.

Spongebob had said it was his Christmas present, oddly enough. What did that mean? Why was a kiss from Squidward his Christmas present? Did that imply a kiss with everyone else was, too? Perhaps he meant kissing in general…

“Oh, puh-leeze, Squiddy, you know what he meant,” he growled at himself. Of course he’d meant Squidward specifically. There was no mistake about that. ‘Why’ was the only question to be answered. Maybe there was no reason, though – maybe it was just the booze talking, especially taking into account that he’d followed it by saying ‘thanks for polishing my shoes.’

…

As much as Squidward really didn’t want to contemplate it, he realized there was a very simple explanation to all of this. He wasn’t stupid. He knew it was different with him – even if Spongebob DID kiss everyone at the party, it would be different with Squidward. It would be different because his neighbor so very obviously had a crush. Anyone with half a brain could see it – and it wasn’t new, not by any means. Spongebob had been dropping hints left and right for… Squidward didn’t even know how long. A long while. He didn’t pay too much attention to it because it wasn’t his business. Spongebob had never straight up said anything about it so he had no reason to address it. He didn’t know how deep it ran, nor did he particularly care. It was just there, and he chose to ignore it. But… Because of the crush, that kiss… Meant something.

That passion had been a product of Spongebob’s feelings for him and he knew it. Squidward’s stomach churned. Oh, that was revolting. He would NEVER let it happen again. EVER. Who cared about Spongebob’s feelings anyway?! Eugh, how GROSS! So what if there was meaning behind it? It wasn’t like it mattered!

… How long had Spongebob wanted to do that for?

Squidward recalled their very first Christmas. The song they now held as tradition, much to Squidward’s irritation, originated there. Even back then, Spongebob had been oddly interested in Squidward being under the mistletoe. Jeez, that was years ago… Many years. Had he wanted that all this time? Had he held onto his little crush that long? Unless the infatuation was more recent and that incident had just been him being his weird self…

“… WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS?!” Squidward shouted, clawing at his face. There was literally no reason to mull this over because it wasn’t important! Who cared if Spongebob liked him in a ‘more-than-friends’ manner?! Aside from that notion making him ill, it wasn’t of his concern! It wasn’t like he reciprocated those feelings in ANY way! It was what it was – it wasn’t being addressed and therefore it didn’t matter. It was really, really, really, really insignificant. It probably wasn’t even that big of a crush! WHATEVER! Even if it spurred the action, that wasn’t the important part. The important part was that he had just been kissed by—

Another wave of realization smacked him in the face.

He, Squidward Tentacles, had not only been just making out with his dreaded foe Spongebob Squarepants – he, Squidward Tentacles, had been making shamefully needy noises as he (unintentionally) returned the kiss. He, Squidward Tentacles, had squirmed under Spongebob’s touch as they kissed, and had maybe sort of enjoyed it a little.

He’d. Kissed. Spongebob.

Squidward began to scream at last. It had taken him long enough! So, to the shower it was! Time to wash away the impurity and the sin!

Nearly falling out of bed, he scrambled to the bathroom and dry heaved into the toilet until the nausea passed. He then proceeded to scrub his teeth SO HARD his gums bled. He didn’t care about the pain, SO LONG AS HE CLEANSED HIS MOUTH OF THIS FOULNESS! Afterwards, he paused to take a breath, accidentally thought about the situation, and then resumed his screeching. Those screeches soon devolved into sobs as Squidward hurried for the shower, stripped, and immediately began to scour his body with the soap. “NO! NO! NO! H-HE IS NOT A GOOD KISSER! HE IS NOT A GOOD KISSER! H-HOW DARE HE?! DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING!!!” Everything was a blur now. He’d lost his self-respect, his sanity, and his lunch from this debacle. A whole slew of emotions raged within him, some of which he had to desperately try to disregard.

Two hours later, one enervated Squidward hauled himself back to bed sluggishly after his purging was complete. He was going to have ONE HELL OF A TALK with a CERTAIN SOMEONE tomorrow. But wait – how could he even face him? How could he look Spongebob in the eye after such an exchange? How could he acknowledge what they’d done? He couldn’t! He couldn’t, it was too humiliating and – NO. He needed to. He needed to be firm and tell him that… That it should never happen again. And that he absolutely hadn’t liked any of it. And that would be that. Nothing more, nothing less. Or, okay, maybe just a little more yelling and telling him how awful it had been. Yes. That would work. He could do it. He was mortified, but he had to press on. He could only pray that no one else had heard about it… After their talk, he’d pretend this NEVER EVER happened and move on with his life. All he had to do was not think about it. How hard could that be?

The next morning, Squidward was a nervous wreck – one glimpse of his ghastly pallor would tell you that. For reasons beyond his comprehension, his hair would not cooperate today – no matter how much he brushed it, it refused to stay put, as if it wanted to spite him by adding to his disheveled look. Reddened eyes and deep facial lines of fatigue implied quite a few things. His anxiety announced itself emphatically by way of making him run his tense, shaky hands up and down his arms then around his sides and back repeatedly in frenzied motions. Getting to work had been an extremely taxing process – he’d struggled the entire way, and it wasn’t just due to the wintry weather. What if people knew? What if Spongebob said something? What if he wanted more? What if he thought Squidward enjoyed it? WELL HE’D RECTIFY THAT ONE! Because he DIDN’T! And he could look Spongebob straight in the eye and TELL HIM THAT WITH UTMOST SINCERITY! (Hopefully.) It was fine. He’d be fine. It would all be fine. Nobody else knew. It had just been a mistake and would never happen again – he’d make sure of it. Spongebob probably hadn’t even noticed the noises Squidward had made, so there was nothing to be ashamed of! IT WAS FINE.

The worn-down mess of a cashier crept to his station cautiously after forcing himself to enter the double doors, wringing his hands while his eyes darted to and fro. The Krusty Krab was quiet and still. No customers were around yet… Mr. Krabs was in his office… Where was Spongebob?

His question was soon answered by a yawn that caused him to jump.

“Ohh boy…” Speak of the devil – Spongebob toddled along on his way to the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes. He didn’t look as terrible as Squidward did, but he certainly wasn’t at his best. He seemed tired, but otherwise okay. All… Cutely bundled up like that in his snow gear. With his gloves and his hat and his scarf and his coat and his booties… “Morning, Squiddy,” he said, offering him a sleepy smile as he passed. The other was thrown off-guard when Spongebob walked right past him. Without a single mention of the party. What the HELL?! Newly enraged, Squidward called after him.

“SPONGEBOB!” He snapped. The blond pivoted on his heel a few steps away from the kitchen door, blinking.

“Wha huh?” Whoa, Squidward was mad already? What had he done?! Squidward faltered under Spongebob’s inquisitive stare that penetrated his very soul. He took a harsh inhale to steel himself.

“LAST NIGHT…”

“Ohhh! Yeah, some party, huh?” Spongebob nodded with a soft chuckle. That was probably why Squidward looked so rough – he must’ve had a LOT of fun! He was so glad. “I’m just tired ‘cause I kinda drank too much and stayed up a lil’ too late… But it was a good time, right? Were you there when we played Christmas Mad Libs? And then Christmas charades? And then ‘dress a person up as a Christmas tree?’ And then Christmas carol-oke? That was lots of fun, hehe.”

“WHA—No, I—!” Why was he being so casual?! Did he just not care about what had happened?! How could he even think to act this way?! “No, I meant earlier—“

“Ohh, earlier? Umm…” Spongebob’s brow furrowed contemplatively. “Like… Earlier as in… When we marathoned Christmas movies? Oh man, I wanna watch more tonight! I need to see Elf again!”

“NO! Earlier than that, you dunderhead!” Jeez, how long had they partied for?! “Right after dinner or—or whatever!” Squidward noticed Spongebob’s expression turn into that of bewilderment and his blood ran cold.

“… Right after dinner? Ummm…” The Krusty Krab’s star frycook scratched at his head, thinking as hard as he could. “Gee, Squidward, I… I think I remember Sandy gave me a drink during dinner… And then… Uh, I dunno. I think I got tired and took a nap and when I woke up a little later, the real party began! Let me tell you, she makes some killer baybreezes. And the best part is I don’t even have a hangover because Larry helped me keep myself hydrated!” How much Spongebob had imbibed was anyone’s guess – though it likely wasn’t much after he woke up from his nap. He only really drank at parties every now and again, so it was pretty easy to bring out the Party Sponge and put the Anxious Host Sponge to rest.

Squidward gawked in stunned silence. He’d… No way. No way. He’d… Forgotten? Spongebob had entirely forgotten about their encounter?! How… HOW DARE HE?! THIS ASSHOLE HAD THE GALL TO WALTZ IN, KISS HIM SO HARD HE QUESTIONED REALITY, LEAVE, FALL ASLEEP SOMEWHERE, AND FORGET WHAT HAD EVEN HAPPENED?! “Y-yuh… You�� You…” Concern crossed Spongebob’s face as Squidward began to twitch.

“… Uh… Squiddy? Why are you twitching like that?”

“Yuh—you—y-y—I—gghh— AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!” Squidward voiced his frustrations once again, yanking at his unruly hair. Spongebob flinched and, with a squeak, instinctively raised his arms to shield himself. Before he could inquire any further, the other stormed off with long strides, seething. Right out of the Krusty Krab and into the mounds of snow that blanketed Bikini Bottom.

“I CANNOT BELIEVE HIM!” Squidward shouted at a nearby snowman, who did not reply. “WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?! HE—WE—I— DIDN’T IT MEAN SOMETHING TO HIM?!” Cheeks blazing, he covered his mouth with a gloved hand.

Had he really just said that? He just got done insisting it didn’t MATTER what it meant to Spongebob! And it… AND IT DIDN’T! It was just that..! It was downright INSULTING! So Spongebob kisses the guy he likes and FORGETS?! Who would forget about something like that?! Even if the guy he likes hates him, the guy he likes is still super beautiful and fabulous and NOBODY should be able to forget the sizzling experience he’d gift to them! It was a PRESENT, all right! (Oh, don’t be full of yourself, Squidward.) All of that – all of that moaning and biting and licking and grabbing – ALL FOR WHAT?! FOR NOTHING?! HE’D HAD TO ENDURE THAT HELL FOR – FOR NOTHING?! HE HAD TO BE TORTURED BY IT AND SPONGEBOB COULD JUST GO ALONG WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD?!

It was true that Spongebob had forgotten – that part of the night was completely blanked out for him. He was under the impression he drank too much and passed out… Which was precisely the case give or take a few details, and it probably wasn’t the greatest idea to drink more after that, but hey. While he was clueless, their other friends weren’t. Oh no, they most certainly knew. They didn’t tell Spongebob for a specific reason – they really did not want him having a meltdown because they knew what he’d done hadn’t caused any lasting damage, and… It was fun to watch Squidward squirm. Especially in situations like this. So, if asked, they’d all pretend they had no idea either and just enjoy the show. It was a shame, though. Spongebob had his first kiss with the man he loved… And had no recollection of it.

Squidward spent a few minutes kicking at snow while yelling incoherently and snorting like an angry seahorse. Powdery crystals of ice sprayed in every direction during his rampage. The snowman sat there, a motionless observer. It was FINE! He didn’t care! Why would he care?! GOOD! This was GREAT, actually! He didn’t want Spongebob to remember! Because that meant he could just throw the memory away without issue! Without being reminded of it or pestered about it! He could pretend it never happened just like he wanted! He didn’t have to suffer – he could just ignore it, no problem! “Stupid Spongebob! Moron! IDIOT! BARNACLEHEAD!” He was only angry because he’d been subjected to torment and it had all been for naught! It was so RUDE! That guy was a real piece of work! “’I’ve been lookin’ all over for you, Squiddy!’” He mimicked bitterly, still stomping around. The darkened water overhead easily paralleled his mood. “YEAH, WELL, YOU’D BETTER NOT ‘LOOK FOR ME’ AGAIN! EVER! I WON’T ALLOW IT!” He never, EVER wanted more! He never wanted to feel the rushing warmth created by affectionate touches, or breathy sighs against his lips, or hair tickling at his jaw, or arms wound tightly around him, or…

He finally stopped and released a distressed wail, burying his face into his hands. HE WAS SO LONELY! He’d been single for such a long time! Far too long, really, and – wait a second…

It suddenly dawned on him that the only reason he sort of maybe (DIDN’T) enjoy that kiss was because… He was just so deprived of physical contact. Squidward didn’t want it to be Spongebob, he wanted it to be someone else… But Neptune hated him too much to grant him that. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to kiss someone… The reminder was painful. Maybe he should try finding a date again? That way, he wouldn’t have to feel so weird about this kiss with Spongebob, because he knew he was just lonesome and unused to such interactions! Yes… That was it! While it was horrifying to think he’d sunk so low and become so desperate he would even slightly savor any sort of contact with his neighbor, it made some sense given his current relationship status. He sank to his knees, reassured, a hand over his pounding heart.

“Oh, thank Neptune…” Squidward sniffled while rubbing at his face, some tension lifting from his stiff shoulders. “M-maybe I’m not so crazy after all… Just—just pathetically desperate. I… B-but I never want to experience that with him again! I’ll try to – to find someone. And then the joke will be on HIM! HA! He’ll still be a single loser and I won’t be!”

Desperate indeed, Squidward. That’s precisely why you’d been haunted by sexual fantasies of Spongebob masturbating when you found his collection of adult items some months ago. Desperation. That had been repressed, though, as this too might be. At the time, he’d been unyielding in his assertion that there was no way he was needy enough to daydream about Spongebob and the fact that he had was only due to his discovery forcing the repulsive imagery upon him. Now, he was relieved by the fact that he had ‘only liked it because he was lonely and needy.’ An interesting development, to be sure.

He’d run out of steam – it was time to go back inside. Eased by his realization, he would put all of this behind him and forget about it just like Spongebob did. The snowman, having grown tired of Squidward’s antics, turned and slid away, leaving him. A scoff sounded. “Puh. Some help he was. Snowmen are always so flaky.” He paused, and was then unable to prevent himself from snickering at his fortuitous pun. “Heh. Flaky. Snowmen, hahah. Oh, Squiddy, you are a true genius. You may be a deplorable pile of garbage, but you’re a damn genius.”

Spongebob watched his friend return through the kitchen window, his head resting in his arms which were propped up on the sill. To his astonishment, Squidward seemed to be in a much better mood now – his shoulders were no longer up to his ears and there was a swagger in his step. “Maybe he just needed to vent,” the blond mused, having seen his tantrum outside. What about last night could have possibly invoked such wrath? It was hard to tell just why he was upset sometimes, because what he said wasn’t always the truth. Even if there was obviously more to the story, it didn’t mean Spongebob would be able to figure it all out. It was distressing because all he wanted was Squidward’s happiness… He just had to keep trying his best to provide him with love and care.

“Spongebob.” He was wrenched back into reality by Squidward marching right over, placing his hands either side of Spongebob’s elbows, and leaning down just slightly with a triumphant smirk on his face. The other jerked back a little.

“Ah—?”

“You know that I hate you, right?” Squidward asked in a voice as sweet as honey – a tone that didn’t match his words in the least.

“Uh… Oh, uhm… Yeah?” Spongebob managed, feeling just slightly intimidated by such a direct approach paired with – well, you know. Hearing ‘I hate you’ wasn’t always that pleasant.

“And you know I’m not interested in ever doing anything of any sort with you, right?” Squidward had to be careful with what he said – he didn’t want to mistakenly lead Spongebob to believe something happened last night that he’d forgotten about.

“Uh huh?” Spongebob squirmed in discomfort. Satisfied, Squidward turned around to man his post.

“Good. I just wanted to remind you.” Ahhh, there! All better! Now that was cleared up! All he had left to do was destroy the memory. Spongebob sighed and padded back to his station as well. Squidward had been in such a good mood last night, too… He wondered if something happened. He had tried to make that party perfect, but perhaps he’d screwed up somehow. He sure hoped not. Either way, Squidward seemed okay now..? So it was likely best to leave it be.

The rest of the day went by without incident. Patrick swung by the Krusty Krab to invite Spongebob to go sledding with him to which he happily agreed – at the end of their shift, he donned his stupidly cute winter outfit and waved to Squidward before leaving. Ignoring him, Squidward headed home to relax and revitalize. That would henceforth be the motto: ignore Spongebob. Over the next couple of days, his attempt to do so was actually going decently well – he kept himself distracted, paying no attention to Spongebob and trying not to think about the thing until one afternoon when Sadie Asbury and Jennifer Millie walked into the Krusty Krab…

The pair entered holding hands, and they initially didn’t quite approach the counter – they stood back, studying the menu. “What did you want, sweetie?” Sadie asked. Squidward’s gaze flickered upwards from his magazine – they were huddled awfully close… It was cold, but…

“I don’t know, babe… I kind of wanted to try something different today…” Squidward’s brows rose steadily. Since when were they dating? That was news. He was a total sucker for gossip, so he paid attention to these things just in case something juicy was going on. Still, it wasn’t all that fascinating until a few moments later when Jennifer took Sadie’s face in her hands, giggling.

“Heehee! Do you know how red your cheeks are? It’s so cute!”

“Wha—hey, it was cold out! I’m trying to decide, c’mon!” Despite her protests, Sadie laughed in kind. Squidward couldn’t help but watch as Jennifer leaned in and kissed both of Sadie’s red cheeks, her nose, and then her lips. It was a brief gesture of endearment, but it caused Squidward to twitch and blush all the same. A sigh from behind him took him by surprise.

“Awww…” Spongebob, who had come to deliver an order, was looking on from the window with a dreamy expression, his cheek smushed into his palm. “How cute… So she did end up asking her out! Gosh, I’m so happy for them…”

“GAH!” Squidward’s cry attracted attention from not only Spongebob, but the women in question. “Spongebob what—“ He whipped around and, after taking one glance at his coworker, made a strange choking noise that stopped his sentence in its tracks. He had been avoiding looking at Spongebob for more than very brief periods for days now. In failing that, and making eye-contact to boot, he was instantly reminded of the thing.

For some reason, the sight of him just – something about – was his tie looser than normal? His hair seemed shinier too… And was that shirt tighter and more form-fitting than the others he owned? Was he hallucinating or—? Holy shrimp, was that cologne? Or was that his soap? Or maybe it was his natural aroma?! Why did it smell so AMBROSIAL now?! It wasn’t like Squidward never actually noticed the way he smelled; it had just become so oddly prominent since the thing! And WHOA, WHOA, WAIT A SECOND. HOLD ON A MINUTE. Glasses?! Since when did… Glasses—! DORKY, GEEKY, thick, black square frames that illuminated the stunning blue of his irises. That was—they were—he knew they existed, but Spongebob rarely wore them to work! He used his contacts more often than not! But wow, they looked really… Maybe he should wear them more often… The guy wasn’t doing anything but standing there, and yet—!

What Squidward is seeing: “Oh, I’m sorry, Squidward, I was just so distracted~… Did you need something~..?” Sparkles float about the kitchen while sexy jazz music plays in the background. Spongebob has cutely knocked his glasses askew with the hand that was pressed to his cheek. His spatula dangles daintily from the hand brought to his chest. He bats his long eyelashes as he speaks in an airy and teasing manner. His smile is demure, but there is a veiled playfulness that flickers within his cerulean depths. Half of his shirt is unbuttoned his tie is undone for no explicable reason.

What is actually happening: “Um, Squidward? Is everything alright?” Spongebob asks, concerned and terribly perplexed. He stands up straight, tilting his head just slightly as he waits for an answer. His shirt is of normal tightness and his tie is correctly drawn to his neck. Nothing is out of the ordinary. He is not about to start dropping patties ‘accidentally’ in order to flaunt his rear whilst picking them up or anything of the sort. He is simply standing there.

Poseidon help him, Spongebob’s lips looked so soft… The worst part was that Squidward now knew they actually were. Try as he might to bleach his brain, the knowledge remained. So pink and full… Slightly parted… Given a slight sheen from the lights… Just begging for a ki—

And at that point he’d had about enough. Squidward clasped his hands over his mouth with a look of sheer mortification. He’d gone a nice rich shade of crimson. With no hesitation, he leapt over the side of the cashier’s boat and ran for the bathroom. By some miracle, it was empty. He stumbled over to the sink and used it for support, wheezing, a tremble surging through his body. “C-c-calm down Squiddy, calm— calm— pull yourself together—“ He splashed cold water on his face to combat the scorching heat. “What am I THINKING?!” What method of sorcery was this?! What spell had Spongebob cast upon him?! Perhaps it was how utterly bewitching his gaze could be? Or maybe… “NO. Stop – enough.” He took the deepest possible breath he could to cease the downward spiral of his tumultuous thoughts. It was alright. All that happened was that he saw a couple kissing and there was NO need to freak out. The incident was still fresh so naturally, he’d be reminded of it. Everything was cool. He wasn’t thinking weird things about Spongebob and if he were, he didn’t mean it – his brain was just… Mixed up! He’d be okay. Easy. Deep breaths.

He felt weak… Oh, and FISHPASTE, he’d made a huge scene! He could hardly believe how badly this whole thing was fucking him up. He really had lost it and he could only wonder how he’d managed to sink lower than he ever imagined possible. Inevitably, Spongebob had been overcome by worry for his best friend, and his dramatic entrance of calling out the other’s name created another kerfluffle and poor Squidward ended up on the floor. “SQUIDWARD?! OH MY STARS AND GARTERS, ARE YOU SICK OR SOMETHING?! WHAT’S WRONG!?” Spongebob knelt down beside him and gripped his shoulders, panic-stricken. Rather than answering, Squidward merely dropped his head and panted, struggling to regulate his system. “Squid—guh—I’m—what…” Spongebob stuttered a few times, but in seeing he was getting no responses, instead forced himself to do the same to reduce the sky-high tension in the room.

The pair soon quieted themselves, and after a few moments of silent recalibrating, Squidward smacked Spongebob’s hands away and stood up, blinking away the unbidden tears in his eyes. “Don’t touch me,” he growled. “I’m fine. It’s none of your business. Leave me ALONE. I just have… A bit of a fever or something, and it’s making me feel weird. It’ll pass, and I DON’T need you mollycoddling me over a silly little flu. And if you dare say one word, Spongebob, so help me. Do. Not.” Gods above, HE needed a drink. A lot of them, actually. Or maybe he didn’t, since he was already fucking horrendously delusional. He half-wondered if he really did have the flu or if someone was secretly spiking his food or something. Gee, this all felt REALLY familiar for some reason… Though he wasn’t looking at Spongebob, he could hear tiny sniffles, but he was too furious and baffled by it all to care. Of course he was crying. What a shock. … Oh well. At least humiliating himself in front of customers was nothing new… And at least Spongebob was listening for once.

Squidward turned to leave, hoping the customers would shrug off what they’d just witnessed, but to his ever-present luck, he was met with their boss.

“Hold it RIGHT there, Mister Squidward! WHAT is goin’ on with you boys?! Yer leavin’ the customers by themselves out there! What’s all this fuss? Why’s Spongebob cryin’ on the floor? Why’d yeh go scarin’ me customers, Squidward? What is the problem here?!” The burly blue-clad man stood with arms crossed and foot a-tappin’. Eugene was none too happy – their antics were interfering with the flow of money! If only it weren’t so expensive to hire extra employees for when his first mates went AWOL…

“There is no PROBLEM, Mr. Krabs.” Squidward forcefully pushed past him, hands balled into fists at his sides. He refused to look at anyone, instead choosing a nice spot on the floor to stare at, wishing his cheeks would stop burning. “I think I’ve come down with the flu. That’s all. I was feeling a bit faint. I’m fine now.”

“The flu?! OH no, no employee of mine is gonna be contaminatin’ the food, the money, or the customers! Get yer hindquarters OUTTA HERE, Mister Squidward!” Eugene instructed, pointing to the front doors. He didn’t have to tell Squidward twice, that was for sure. In all honesty, he knew that it wasn’t a flu that had his employee all ruffled… But he’d begrudgingly allow it to run its course rather than say anything about it. If it was stirring things this much, maybe it would lead the two closer to an answer for their relationship. Maybe they’d finally get together and stop wasting so much damn time on this song and dance – then they’d make him more money since they wouldn’t have to keep disrupting things with it!

Squidward was slightly surprised by his boss’s allowance, but wasted no time in taking flight. Any and all stares and whispers were disregarded as he trudged right out of the restaurant to his boat while trying not to cry, his boots crunching loudly in the snow. It was fine. He hadn’t just made a complete imbecile of himself. No, no, NO. Time to go home. Time to take the week off and sleep the entire time.

Still sitting on the bathroom floor, Spongebob shuddered in distress – why wasn’t he allowed to help? Was Squidward really sick or was it something else? This was scary! He sniveled. Eugene helped him up and offered him a handkerchief. “Don’t worry about it, lad. It isn’t really that serious. He’ll be alright; he just needs some time to ‘imself. Try lettin’ him come to yeh when he’s ready, okay? It ain’t personal – he just ain’t feelin’ well and you know how that goes.” Krabs rolled his eyes. How crabby Squidward could become was astounding at times. His opinion was that the guy needed a good smack or five to set him straight, but he doubted it would work.

“Bu—bu—is he… D-do you know what’s going on..?” Spongebob wiped at his face with the handkerchief, still giving quiet hiccups and shaky sighs. Squidward ignoring him wasn’t all that shocking, but today’s reaction was so strange, and combined with the day after the party… He just couldn’t figure it out. He wanted to know!

“Well, I haven’t heard of any flus goin’ around, but with this blasted weather, I don’t doubt it,” Eugene said, glancing over at Spongebob. There was a pause when green met blue.

“… Are you sure?” Spongebob asked in a muffled voice from behind the handkerchief that he’d pressed over his nose and mouth, his watery eyes trained intently on the other. Eugene opened his mouth to respond, but at first, nothing came. He could tell… Spongebob knew. The boy was fully aware that it wasn’t a flu that was plaguing Squidward. He wasn’t stupid – okay, well, at times he could be, but he could also be very insightful and incisive. In that moment, Eugene wanted to tell him – he felt bad for him, and just… Oh, what a fine mess this was. Telling the truth would only worsen things; while it would explain Squidward’s moodiness, Spongebob would just be so utterly destroyed knowing he’d done that and even more wounded by the reaction it got and it just… It wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth breaking the poor thing with anxiety because it really wasn’t that big of a deal. If Squidward told him, that would be handled accordingly, but the chances of that were slim to none. Squidward could take care of himself. His hissy fit would fizzle out soon. And maybe, just maybe, he’d learn a damn thing or two from it. This whole ‘not-so-secretly in love with Squidward’ situation would eventually hit a turning point… It was certainly ramping up. He hoped that it would wind up being beneficial for Spongebob. If only he could persuade him to chase anyone other than Squidward! Ah, but attempts at that had failed so far, and would continue to fail so long as Spongebob held out hope that there was a prospect of being with him.

Exhaling, Eugene reached out and gave Spongebob’s shoulder a solid squeeze, compassion gracing his features. “… No. I’m not sure, Spongebob. It could be anything. But, whatever it is, just let it be. It’ll pass.” Clearly, Spongebob wasn’t happy with this answer. He clutched the kerchief as he lowered it, his lip wibbling again.

“But—“

“No.” Eugene pressed a finger to his lips to shush him straightaway. “No, Spongebob.” A whine. “No. I know yer worried, but you need to stop. Go read a book or watch TV or whatever it is that you kids do. Just go clear yer head and stop tryin’ to fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed! Let him do it on his own.” Spongebob tried to protest no further. He only wilted – that wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but… Maybe Mr. Krabs was right. Maybe it was just something he had to let go of. It was hard because he was afraid he’d done something wrong, but… Squidward probably wasn’t going to tell him, so there was nothing he could do no matter what.

“… Aye aye, sir…”

“Good boy! Now off with yeh, go make me some money! And it’s Christmastime y’know – go look at lights or go ornament shoppin’ after work! Do something fun, treat yerself! Forget about that old stick-in-the-mud!” Eugene guffawed then, thumping his employee on the back so hard it knocked him off-balance.

“Wah! Uh—I…” With the force of the gesture, his glasses were knocked slightly down the bridge of his nose – after adjusting them, he chewed on his lip thoughtfully. Well… That did sound pretty fun… He did love going around the city to see all the lights! As long as he bundled up, he could window shop and maybe buy some presents for people! “I… Yeah. Okay, yeah, you’re right! I will!” A resolute nod. He just had to put his mind to something else – he could go see the FAKE SANTA! Those were like the real Santa, except they were just his helpers and they were all over the world! They looked similar to him but you knew it was a helper if he was working at someplace like a mall. The real Santa only had time to visit peoples’ houses on Christmas Eve, after all! He gasped. “MR. KRABS! Did the helper Santa set his workshop up at the mall yet?!” Eugene watched in relief as life and enthusiasm returned to Spongebob.

“Err, I dunno. I think so! You should go check later! Just finish rakin’ in the dough for today first. And if yeh see Pearlie when yer there… Please tell ‘er to stop spendin’ all me money!” He groaned at the mere thought of it. She had her own job and she was STILL using his money! Little bloodsucker… Took after her father, she did. He was proud, but his wallet sure wasn’t. Spongebob gave a little laugh.

“Will do, sir! I’M READY! ORDER UUUUUUUP!” He cheered, jogging back to his post to turn those customers’ frowns UPSIDE-DOWN! The thought of talking to Santa (or in this case, Santa’s assistant) was totally revving him up! He couldn’t WAIT! He was grateful to have Mr. Krabs to lean on for advice. He was feeling better already!

“I can’t believe this. I can’t. What was I doing earlier? Why was—was his shirt really unbutto—OF COURSE IT WASN’T, YOU ABSOLUTE KELP-FOR-BRAINS! What is the MATTER with me?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! I’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG! I don’t deserve this! This agony, this woe – it’s ENTIRELY unjustified! I have been nothing but a compassionate and kind person, and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?! Thoughts of—of SPONGEBOB OF ALL PEOPLE?! And not only that, but having to endure a KISS from him!? I’VE GOT A REAL BONE TO PICK WITH YOU, KING NEPTUNE! His—he—it’s HIS fault for wearing those GLASSES and for being so IMPROPER as to UNDO HIS SHIRT AND TIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORKDAY! POLISH HIS SHOES, WHY I NEVER! AND THEN HE FORGETS! WHAT AN ASSHOLE! I HATE HIM SO DAMN MUCH! I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM! HE DOES NOTHING BUT CAUSE ME ANGUISH! HE’S SO FUCKING INFURIATING AND RUDE AND IGNORANT AND IMBECILIC AND DISMISSIVE OF FEELINGS AND DISRESPECTFUL OF BOUNDARIES AND CLINGY AND PUSHY AND ATTENTION-HUNGRY AND SELFISH AND EGOTISTICAL AND PRESUMPTUOUS AND FUCK!! FUCK HIM! I DESPISE EVERY FIBER OF HIS BEING! SOMEONE LIKE HIM DOESN’T DESERVE ME! I’M TOO GOOD FOR HIM! I SHOULD HAVE ONLY THE BEST! HE’S NOTHING BUT A BOTTOMFEEDER AND HE ISN’T EVEN WORTHY OF BREATHING THE SAME WATER AS I DO! HOW DARE HE MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY?! HOW DARE HE RESORT TO UNDERHANDED TRICKERY TO MAKE ME—TO MAKE ME FEEL—AND SORT OF THINK HE’S—AGH! NO! Don’t fall for it, Squiddy! He’s not—it’s FINE! IT’S SO FUCKING FINE THAT I’M GOING TO FUCKING, JUST, FORGET ABOUT IT! IT HONESTLY NEVER EVEN HAPPENED AND I CAN JUST GO ON HATING HIM LIKE USUAL! I WON’T NEED TO DISGRACE MYSELF IN FRONT OF OTHERS BECAUSE I WON’T HAVE ANY WEIRD ASS THOUGHTS! LOOK, I’LL EVEN PROVE IT RIGHT NOW—“

Squidward was ranting and raving at the top of his lungs, doing anything to try to expel this unspeakable sickness that poisoned his body and mind. He was storming about his house, throwing anything unbreakable he could find. Upon making his eighteenth lap around his home, he circled back to his television whilst evading fallen objects, plopped his ass right down on the couch, and in some crazy, desperate attempt to prove that this wasn’t at all affecting him, turned on a romance movie. In order to calm his blistering blood, he panted harshly, bubbles forming each time his chest heaved. His teal tresses were completely ruffled and wild from him running about and pulling at them. He was so unkempt and out-of-sorts and it was so damn hot he was this close to running outside and faceplanting in the snow. … In all honesty, that was actually a good idea.

The beginning of the movie was mild enough that Squidward was able to ease his ragged breaths and fall into a stoic stillness. The main characters met one another and blah blah blah falling in love blah wacky antics blah blah. It was when they started getting closer that he became nervous. It was okay. Just two characters realizing their feelings for each other and going out on a date. Nothing wild or crazy here. “T… Take it easy, Squiddy old boy… Perhaps doing this today wasn’t the best idea…” He was still jittery from earlier. Soon, the time for the first kiss came, and he held his breath – here it was. The moment of truth. Carmine eyes were glued to the television as the pair embraced, running their hands over one another’s bodies, crooning affectionately in each other’s ears… The main character first kissed up their partner’s neck, then along their jawline to their chin… Their lips met, and Squidward swallowed thickly. It was a sensual, romantic kiss. It didn’t last for too long, and when they pulled back, they smiled, laughed, and held each other tight. This one was definitely more intimate than what he’d seen at the Krusty Krab.

His gaze gradually lowered after the scene ended. Trying his best to prevent himself from blushing, he stared down at his lap, hands clenched into fists. He breathed a puff of water. Unfortunately, his efforts to stop the heat were wasted – he reddened significantly as he processed the scene. Breathe… Calm… Breathe…

…

His kiss with Spongebob had been more of the needy, frenzied and passionate kind rather than the slow and sensual… What would it be like if..?

Naturally, Squidward began to shriek at the notion. This was becoming such a frequent occurrence that it was a wonder Neptune didn’t hear him all the way from Atlantis.

WHAT WAS THAT THOUGHT JUST NOW?! He’d FAILED! He’d utterly and wholly FAILED! Such a simple test – FAILED! WHY WAS IT SO DIFFICULT TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THE DAMN KISS?! WHY HAD HE JUST IMAGINED ANOTHER?! He had TOTALLY just envisioned what it would be like to have that sort of serene and languid kiss with Spongebob! Oh, NEPTUNE! He’d legitimately imagined HIMSELF… Holding Spongebob tight… Running his hand down his back to rest just above his tailbone… While Spongebob’s hands roam aimlessly around his torso in turn… And Spongebob smiles and giggles softly against his lips between kisses… Then Spongebob moves to kiss lazily at his jaw and neck, and then nuzzles his collarbone…

This ended in him flopping onto his side in defeat and merely bawling into his hands. This was too much. It was EXCRUCIATING. He hated this – hated every second of it – hated the person causing it, hated that he couldn’t stop these invasive thoughts, hated that he was so weak, hated that he’d stooped so low, hated that his mind had apparently deteriorated altogether, hated the sick part of himself that seemed to like it, hated the fact that he was single and craved affection, hated the fact that he couldn’t fucking control himself in any capacity and repeatedly made an utter buffoon of himself in public, hated the nightmarish visions his mind conjured up, hated the fact that Spongebob had dared kiss him in the first place… He needed to call his therapist. Pronto. She’d know what to do. Maybe she could hypnotize him into forgetting? She likely didn’t have any specialization in that, but it was worth a shot to ask…

Squidward’s overdramatic and excessively volatile reactions to the subject of Spongebob would seem outlandish to anyone. They were unnecessary and unreasonable. They were undeserved and unfair to Spongebob. They were unhealthy for the both of them. Yes, Spongebob could be incredibly annoying, and disliking him was one thing – savage hostility and resentment that was expressed so consistently, even sans provocation, was another. While there was no excuse for his behavior, there was a reason.

An obvious reason would be how persistent Spongebob was – not only could his personality be entirely grating, but he also didn’t always know when to quit. He could be sort of oblivious and had trouble distinguishing boundaries. If someone was already cross with him and he kept on pestering them, it would only cause more issues. He had improved over the years, but he still had work to do in that area.

There was a deeper reason than that, however.

Ironically, Spongebob reminded Squidward of himself; everything he’d been taught to hate within himself. While perhaps difficult to believe, it was the truth – he had once been similar to Spongebob. He had once been unashamed in feeling and expressing enthusiasm and exuberance. While he did still hold passion for things, he forced himself to taper a lot of his excitement.

His mentor had been Squilliam Fancyson III. They’d dated back in college, and Squilliam refused to be seen with Squidward if he acted in what was considered an ‘embarrassing and uncool’ manner. No longer was he allowed to jump for joy – instead, he had to construct a pretentious and ‘adultlike’ persona. He could not enjoy things that were deemed as childish or lowbrow. He was not allowed to do ‘cringeworthy and immature’ things such as talk loudly with excitement over something, hop about in delight, or act in any way that wasn’t cool, collected and sophisticated. If he did anything of the sort, he’d be reprimanded. He had to be an adult, and adults didn’t show such emotions.

Spongebob proudly flaunted everything Squidward had been forced to conceal. Spongebob was permitted to be juvenile and carefree and jubilant and passionate and energetic and…

Squidward resented it. It roused a lot of negative feelings within him that were extremely hard to deal with, and thusly presented as anger, reinforced by the ingrained adult façade. At the same time, however, he secretly found it refreshing and endearing and… He longed to feel that way again. To break down these harmful ideals and to stop hiding his emotions. To stop hurting people. To be happy again. To live again. Maybe being a kid, a goofball, a wingnut, and a Knucklehead McSpazatron wasn’t all that bad.

Spongebob Squarepants was a good person. He was sweet, kind and caring. He always did his best to help others and prioritized them over himself. He strove to make people smile and brighten up their days. He was talented, entertaining and driven. While naïve and exasperating, he was still lovable – he had flaws, just like anyone else. Underneath it all, Squidward knew that he cared for his neighbor a great deal and was truly grateful for his generosity and devotion… And he really was so sorry for being such a despicable asshole to him. A friend who wasn’t a friend. A loser who didn’t deserve anything he was given. He kept repeating the same mistakes and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to make up for it. He hated Spongebob, but he loved him too.

That being said, that was all… Mostly… On a platonic level. Going any further than that reactivated his defenses and suppressed those feelings – though to be fair, they were usually suppressed regardless. Romantic was a step too close and it would turn his entire world and everything he knew upside down. Liking him in a platonic way was hard enough to accept – how could he even ATTEMPT to think about anything else? Squidward had denial on top of his denial and it was bundled up in rage and depression. Spongebob was annoyingly immature and he hated him, and those were the facts. He’d never been interested in him and never would be, and those were the facts. He’d always just see him as a moronic coworker and neighbor that he perhaps inwardly appreciated, and those were the facts. It had been this way for many years and it wouldn’t change, especially not from some stupid kiss.

There was no possible way he could feel something like that for someone he despised so much! It made absolutely zero sense. Imagining a relationship with him was nauseating – why would he ever want to spend time with him or touch him or share a bed with him or go on dates with him or ANY of that garbage? If others wanted to, whatever. While he questioned their tastes, it was neither here nor there. As for HIMSELF? Oh no, absolutely NOT. Spongebob’s desires be damned – it wasn’t going to happen. Ever. Not in this lifetime, not in the next lifetime, not in the one after that. Never. He would surely get over his little crush and move on when someone else came along – it wasn’t worth it to make himself queasy by contemplating the notion.

Squidward cried for a good hour, overwhelmed, confused and consumed by the ravenous maw of self-pity. He couldn’t handle this; he wasn’t ready. There were too many things to face… Not only did he have to work through and decipher his feelings with Spongebob, but also his feelings with himself and his past. It was all tangled up in a forebodingly gargantuan, gnarled knot that he had to try to dismantle. There was no sense in getting into it… Spongebob had forgotten about this kiss and he sure as HELL would not be reminding him, ever, at all. It was best to just bury this and never address anything. That way, so long as Spongebob never brought anything up, they could all continue on their merry ways and everything would stay the same and he’d never be required to face that knot.  

The television, left unattended, pulsed with a soft glow, giving off restful background noise. The unintelligible chatter drowned out his heavy-hearted sniffles and sobs – only the blowing of his nose rose above it. By the time he’d exhausted himself, used tissues littered the area and the blanket he’d gotten drooped off of the couch and pooled on the floor near his feet. Everything hurt. The box of chocolate was now empty. He pushed himself up and staggered over to the front door. White flurries greeted him when he opened it, clinging to his shirt as they pleased. He could barely see due to how swollen his eyes had become, but he figured the snow looked deep enough…

He promptly allowed himself to fall facefirst into the pristine drifts.

While Squidward locked himself up at home to brood, Spongebob preoccupied himself by going shopping and seeing Santa after work. This continued for the next couple of days. Staying inside didn’t seem to hold a lot of relief for Squidward – while at least he didn’t have to suffer through going to the Krusty Krab and seeing Spongebob, it was just… Nothing helped. He was miserable for so many reasons. Not even his fuzzy bathrobe, chocolates and foreign dramas were working! Numerous things were tried, but not a single one assuaged him. He eventually decided that he should go outside and get the flow of some fresh currents, even if it was just for a short while…

It was flurrying. Flakes fell gingerly from above, enveloping the vast expanse of the seafloor in a soft silence. Such a silence was almost resounding. The currents rustled some leaves of kelp every so often and animals hid away in their homes. There was a satisfying heaviness in the water. The scenery was truly picturesque and it was… Soothing. Things were still and tranquil… He got a little lost in staring at all of the glowing lights strung on nearby houses. Since he had first made sure Spongebob wasn’t home before he ventured outside, he knew he was safe. He wanted to… Go into town though, maybe. Go shopping. A shopping trip would do him some good, yeah? He could look at art supplies and new clarinets… Yes. Shopping it was. He’d treat himself. Lord knew he needed it. He spent a little while cleaning off his boat and taking in his surroundings. As Squidward slid into the driver’s seat, he prayed he wouldn’t encounter too many lovey-dovey couples lest his fragile mind shatter more than it already had.

The city was hustling and bustling as per usual. Everyone was bundled up, head to toe, to shield themselves from the cold weather. Many folks were struggling under the weight of gifts, hailing taxies for their endless bags of presents. Others seemed to prefer window shopping, and were significantly less burdened. The streets and sidewalks were slushy and wet from snow, and salt crunched beneath many a passerby’s shoe. Christmas decorations were everywhere – lights and garland were hung on numerous buildings and trees, café signs had little gingerbread men and snowflakes drawn on them, and holiday music floated out between the opening and closing of store doors. Squidward headed straight for the music store – perusing the instruments would cheer him right up! It always did! The little bell on the door chimed as he walked in, and the shopkeeper greeted him from behind the counter. “Heyyyy! Zere he is! Squidward, où étais-tu passé, mon ami? It has been three weeks, I was getting worried!” A tired and crooked smile was Squidward’s response.

“Sorry. I’ve been terribly busy – you know how it is,” he said in a low voice, ambling over to one of the display cases, hands in his coat pockets. He’d known Julien for a long time now – he frequented the art and music stores in the area and had familiarized himself with the workers there. He enjoyed their company whenever he went, as they all had good taste and provided interesting conversation.

“Oh, oui, je sais. Ze holidays are always so hectic – it is difficult to get anything done! I am telling you, it is—AH! Squidward – you look terrible! Oh la vache de mer, have you been doing alright?!”

Squidward blinked – did he really look that rough? Yikes, how embarrassing… He’d better cover up some more. He pulled his scarf up to his nose, but not before daring a peek at his reflection in the glass of the case. “… Oh,” he unwittingly said aloud. Yes, yep. Uh huh. Mmhmm. He had absolutely left the house without taking much a look at himself and without making himself even remotely presentable enough for being in public. Why, again? Luckily, his hat covered his wild hair, but his face was an entirely different story. His cheeks seemed more sunken than usual. His nose was red from not only the cold, but very plainly from blowing it so much with how the blotchy color formed around his nostrils. His eyes were the true offender; they were bloodshot as could be and puffy to HELL and back with the skin around the corners being quite irritated. He honestly looked as if he’d been punched more than once. There was a pause as he inwardly panicked, searching for an excuse for his woebegone countenance, before he found an easy one: “… I’m, ah, sick.” Smooth. Nice. It was the easiest and yet the most believable coverup in the book, and it lined up with what he’d told Mr. Krabs! … Not that Julien would know that, but still.

“Zhen why are you out of bed?!” Julien chided, placing his hands on his hips. “You should not be wandering about, exposing yourself to Neptune knows what else! You need rest, not clarinet reeds!”

“I-it looks worse than it actually is, I promise!” Squidward held up his hands defensively. “Listen, I’m fine. I took some medicine and I’ve been in bed for days.” Both statements were actually true. “I’m finally feeling a little better and wanted to go out for a bit.” A lie; more like he wasn’t feeling better and was trying to by going out. Julien scrutinized him skeptically.

“… Hmph. So stubborn, you are. Just remember to look after yourself. Dans ce cas-là, while you are here, were you looking for something in particular?” Whew. Safe. Squidward cleared his scratchy throat.

“Not really… I might buy another instrument soon, though…” Maybe he should try something new. He’d never give up his clarinet, of course, but he wanted to try some other instruments too.

“Oh, oui? Do you know what kind you would like to try?”

“It might be time to get myself something in the piano family. I won’t buy it today – I’ll come back later in the week.” An early Christmas present? Yeah, his mood was improving already! He’d learn how to properly play the piano, and it would be FANTASTIC.

“OH~! MAGNIFIQUE~! Ici, ici! I will show you what I have!” Chirping in delight, Julien pranced over to his customer and tugged him along to eagerly show him the displays.

Meanwhile…

“… And Mr. Krabs wants another pony with saddlebags full of money. I know he got that last year, but he says he wants another. Okay, next, Sandy wants a HP Proliant ML350 G9 server – the uhh, one with Intel Xeon E5-2640 v3 Octa-core 2.60 GHz 16GB DDR4 SDRAM. Whew. That was a mouthful. Okay. Ah, Pearl wants front-row tickets to a Boys Who Cry concert with backstage passes. Larry wants a new—“

“Kid, could ya hurry it up a little? I hate to rush you, but there’s a line.”

Upon being interrupted, Spongebob looked up from his list to a slightly exasperated Santa. “Huh?” He turned his head a little to scan the amount of people waiting to see good ol’ Kris Kringle. “Oh, oops! I’m sorry! I’ll go for today! I made sure everyone already sent their letters to Santa, but I like telling you too, just in case. You got all that, right?”

“Yes, son,” Santa sighed, “I got all of it.”

“Great!! Thank you so much!” Spongebob hopped out of Santa’s lap, pleased with what he’d gotten done. Going through the entire list took a little while, so he’d been visiting the mall every day to see him! He still had gifts to buy too, oh… He really had to get on that! He hustled out of the mall, deciding he wanted to go check out the pet store first and window shop along the way. It was still snowing, but it had slowed down a bit. Something about the twinkling lights made his chest ache longingly.

He began his journey, strolling leisurely with his hands stuffed into his pockets and his eyes trained on every storefront he passed. “Maybe I should drop by one of the music stores in a while to see what I can get Squiddy this year…” Speaking of, he sure hoped he was okay… If not, he’d just have to cheer him up with the Best Christmas Present Ever™! “Ooh~!” Some attractive sweaters in a store window gave him pause, and he halted his trip to admire them. Once done, he resumed his walk, only to repeat the process as he made his way down.

Squidward, on the other hand, had left the music shop to go elsewhere. While pleased with his newfound knowledge of pianos, he now found himself surrounded with the thing he most wanted to avoid…

Love.

The streets were crawling with couples. Advertisements oozed romance and love of all kinds – after all, the holidays emphasized spending time with loved ones. He could visit his mother all he wanted – it was the ads with the kissing and the cuddling and the proposing that bothered him. Not to mention the mistletoe hanging all around – oh Neptune, he was getting flashbacks! He was beginning to grow flustered – his mood worsened with each display of affection he passed. Damnit, there went his progress. He’d anticipated this, but it still felt shitty… He just had to make it to the arts and crafts store. It wasn’t too far away now. He could do this – focus, Squidward! Eyes straight ahead! Think of the doilies! THINK OF YOUR DOILY COLLECTION, SQUIDWARD!

It would soon be apparent that this was the wrong time for a romp in the city.

Up ahead, he spotted someone positively glued to a store window, which at first, he didn’t think much of. They were bouncing on their heels with their hands and face pressed against the glass, making noises of delight and—wait a minute… That outfit sure did look familiar… The colorful teal, yellow and white wool hat, complete with pompom and earflaps… The matching striped scarf that had fringes at the end… The black peacoat that flared out a bit at the waist and went down to midthigh… The maroon leggings and the black snow boots with the straps on the sides… Squidward stopped dead in his tracks, which caused the person behind him to run into him.

“’Ey, buddy! Watch where yer goin’, will ya?” The stranger sneered as he shoved past him. Squidward didn’t have time to retort – he was too busy staring at the figure in front of the toy store. He couldn’t quite see their face as it was smushed against the window. It couldn’t be… Surely not—no, there were certainly others who owned an outfit as such! Still, though – and – oh no. Were those… Blond wisps of hair poking out from under his hat? Without realizing it, he had walked closer, and when the person pulled back enough that he could see their profile, the beating of his heart ceased.

As if that blue couldn’t get any brighter – his eyes were sparkling with wonder and amazement over the humongous tree cleverly adorned with toys in the store’s display. That smile was going to split his damn face in two one of these days. His cheeks were warm with joy, and his long nose nearly touched the glass that was fogged by his visible puffs of breath… To his credit, he had every right to be in awe – that tree was stunning.

Almost as stunning as the person standing before it.

When Spongebob began to pull away from the store, Squidward realized it was more than time to make himself scarce. He frantically ducked into a nearby alleyway, managing to get out of line of sight moments before the other waltzed on past. He watched him leave, probably looking like a total fucking creep as he was peering around the corner of the alleyway to do so, and all he could think about was… Just… Spongebob. Why was it always Spongebob?!

Shopping spree = bad idea. Very bad idea. Back to the house it was.

By the time he got there, Squidward had gone numb. His brain had utterly shut down in exhaustion from the multitude of intense emotions. The lights were left off when he entered his home. He grabbed his Teddy from the couch and brought him upstairs – curiously enough, he’d been clinging to that thing more often as of late… One could only wonder why – it certainly had nothing to do with the fact that it was a gift from Spongebob. It was just a stuffed animal, and stuffed animals were comforting. Right?

After undressing, Squidward lay in bed with Teddy close to his chest, staring at the ceiling vacantly. He could feel no emotion – that could potentially be considered a perk of full mental shutdown.

Spongebob was… Something else. He really was.

He didn’t know what to make of this. He didn’t understand his feelings, he didn’t know what sort of potion he’d drank to cause this, he didn’t know why Spongebob had a crush on him, he didn’t know why everything was throwing him for such a loop, he didn’t know… Anything, really.

Time for sleep. Before long, he’d recover from this, and hopefully forget about it. Spongebob would no longer have to worry about him, and things would go back to normal. With luck, Squidward would bury and forget about this incident. He’d forget he ever felt weird things for Spongebob fucking Squarepants and continue on hating him. Never again would they find themselves under mistletoe while Spongebob was drunk. Squidward would not have to face his inner demons.

… He was going to skip next week’s Very First Christmas™ party. Just to be safe.

[uwuist]

literally all the evens on that list for V'ieh

This’ll be a long read. All the answers below the fold!

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

“Part of me hopes so. I’ve been in only a couple. And it’s was a 50/50 for me killing my partner. And the other just left me disappointed. So is it really worth it? I dunno. But that doesn’t stop me from fitting in with those hopeless romantic saps and fantasizing about my own potential wedding one day…”

4. Are you in a relationship?

“I… don’t know? Maybe? Maybe not? I mean, I’m technically “seeing” a couple of people but… I don’t know what is considered a “relationship”.”

6. Are you single this year?

“Entered the new cycle with freedom, possibly leaving this cycle with freedom.”

8. Describe your crush

V’ieh goes red in the face. “I have a couple of them, is that really fair to ask? Is this going to start offending people?”

“Well, one of them is this scruffy, svelte Miqo’te man, and he’s good in bed. And another is this dark skinned Auri lady who reads smut in public, which is hot. And another is this purple haired lady Miqo’te who just kind of sleeps in my bed which is hot ‘cause she just seems like she owns part of my house when she doesn’t.”

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

“A part of me believes in it but another doesn’t. I think you can fall in love at first sight multiple times but whether they’re good or not for you is questionable. It happened with Hiro, and it’s happened again recently enough. So much so it seemed to kind of fuck with my financial gain, unfortunately.”

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

“Depends on the betrayal. Everyone know’s I’m a slut and lots of people forgive me for that. But I wouldn’t forgive backstabbing. Thievery. That kinda shit.”

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

“Stop please, I already answered this!” V’ieh goes bright red, yet again. Doesn’t take much it seems.

16. Do you have any tattoos?

“I plan on it. But none at the moment. The closest thing I have is this self inflicted scarification on my forearm. It’s the alchemical symbol for fire. But most people just see it as a triangle.”

20. Do you shower every day?

“No one likes dirty cat smell.”

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

V’ieh folds her arms back behind her head and flexes slightly. “Oh baby, I know there are plenty of men and women out there thinkin’ about me right now.” She grins cockily. Incredible.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

V’ieh laughs. “I’m already old. I think it’s just outta the question for me now… no one wants to wed an old slutty hag.”

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

She looks particularly uncomfortable about this question. “Once before, with Hiro. How shitty of me to accidentally kill him.” She mused with a flat tone.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

“You know, I always thought about a new nose, but I hear women like it when my nose rests above their pussy while I’m face first in dinner.” She cackles.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

“Absolutely. Not a great feeling for someone who’s so used to bedding everything that walks.”

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

“Men, women, everyone.”

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

“I have, yeah. I’m not sure how great it was to try to act on those feelings though.”

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

V’ieh coughs. “Thata’wo”. She coughs again.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

“I’m creatively challenged, so no.”

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

“How do you kiss without having your hands wander immediately?”

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

“Honestly only two.”

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

“Uhh… I couldn’t count on the hands of everyone in Ul’dah, to be honest.”

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

“I would fuck the person they like and leave pictures of me fucking them in their room.”

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

“Accept presents, fuck them, then kick them to the curb.”

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

“Yeah, one time before because it seemed like a lot of chasing and not a lot of returned effort.”

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

“I’ll never forget Hiro, just because he did so much for me and I consistently feel like I’m betraying him if I ever get into committed relationships again but I think he’d want me to just be happy.”

56. State 8 facts about your body

“I can tie a La Nocsean cherry stem with my tongue. I have a V on the back of my neck. I can crush a watermelon between my thighs. My tail involuntarily twitches and I have no control over it. It takes 2 hours for my hair to dry naturally. I can put my feet behind my head. My tongue can touch my nose, and I used to be a lot skinnier than I am now.”

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

���Romance, back rubs, letting me retain my independence, physical contact, full, unreserved domination in bed.”

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

“Really only a few years, I think. Nothing huge.”

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

“Brutally dominate me and then lots of loving after-care.”

64. What is your definition of cheating?

“Sexual contact with another person. I don’t give a shit about flirting. Otherwise I’d be a huge cheater.”

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

“Hmm… that’s a tough one. Probably the straight edge scholasticate girl and the dirty professor.”

68. What is your sexual orientation?

“Bisexual. Gimme men and women. Separate and at the same time. Fuck it.”

70. What turns you on?

“Confidence. Nothing is hotter than confidence.”

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

“”I love how slutty you are”.” She cackles.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

“A nice smile. Or, a nice ass.”

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

V’ieh snorted. “Probably bought a house for someone. Too bad I’m a single homeowner now.” She rolled her eyes.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

“I blew a guy in the Cathedral of Ishgard and he cried out for Halone when he came.”

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

“Couldn’t tell ya. I don’t remember.”

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

“…jeez, this is a depressing question to not know the answer to.”

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

“We just weren’t matched up in our readiness to commit yet, I don’t think.”

[atlaswriting]

“You don’t have to be so angry with him,” I tell Abram later that night, our legs are entwined at the knees and unless I cut him apart and slip under his skin there was no way we could be closer. He’s quiet, breath steady but I know he’s awake by the strained flex in his jaw. “Brody—you don’t have to be mad at Brody, Abram—he was just trying to—,”

I sigh, sitting up and bringing the blanket under my chin, “You don’t have to be mad at anyone. I get it; he should have told you—but just because he didn’t doesn’t mean you have a right to be angry. Not everything warrants anger, Abram.”

A forced laugh leaves his lips but he disappears without saying anything and returns moments later with a bottle of beer between the knuckles of his fingers. “That’s the thing—I am angry. All the time. It sits on my shoulders and chips away at me—every day, every minute it’s there. I’m angry and I don’t need you policing my feelings.” He brings the lip of the bottle to his mouth, drinking until beer dribbles out of the corners; he stops and wipes it with the back of his hand. “If they’re fucking so often—they should just get back together. I don’t get why they aren’t.”

“That’s exactly why they didn’t tell you,” I say waving my hand in his direction, “you expect a happily ever after for Ellie and Brody—maybe that’s not their story, who are you to say?”

“You don’t even know them, Elise.”

“I may not know him but I—,”

“You met Ellie five minutes ago!”

“Abram!”

He shrugs, “Am I wrong? We’ve been inseparable since we were in Kindergarten. Since the day that Ellie decided that we were her best friends and neither of us got a say. They are meant for each other. They get their happily ever after—,”

“It’s like you’re they’re child and they’re your divorced parents!” I yell, standing now and slipping back into my dress, “You think that every ounce of civility means they’re going to get back together. That isn’t how life works. Sometimes people fuck and it doesn’t mean anything.”

“What about us?”

“What about us?” I ask, brows furrowing together.

He’s smiling now, lips pulled so far back over teeth it looks painful, “Do we mean anything, or are we just fucking?” There’s nothing happy about this smile. It’s a loaded gun and each word is another bullet in the barrel.

“Are you kidding me? You know that isn’t all we are. How many times do I have to tell you I love you—,” another laugh is the fire to my fuse and I pick up a pillow, chucking it at him. “You’re impossible, Abram and I’m not dealing with you tonight—I’m going to Simon’s.”

♡ ♡ ♡

December.

A knock at the door startles the three of us, I don’t consider the nightmare on the other side but when I pull it back and see Cerise I half decide to slam the door.

“What do you want?”

“To give you an invitation.” She doesn’t wait for me to invite her in—I bite back a comment about vampires. “This is…cute.” She says looking around.

“How did you find out where I lived?”

Rolling her eyes Cerise sets down her bag on the kitchen table, eyes drifting toward the living room where Ellie was pint deep in Ben and Jerry’s and Abram was slurring into his headset at some twelve year old with a superiority complex on Call of Duty. “Charming,” she says, eyes fluttering back to me.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Ellie kick Abram’s shoulder a few times and then point her toes toward me.

“Can I help you with something? I’d offer you a bottle of Evian, but we only have tap water.”

I think I see her shudder. Cerise composes herself, lips pulled even tighter as Abram encroaches on us, “I’ve come to invite you to Christmas,” she says, “all of you, I suppose. If you think you are able to put down the au de beer. I don’t think my mother would appreciate the assault on her sense of smell.” This comment is directed toward Abram, who instead of saying anything beams happily at my mother.

“Grandma is coming for Christmas?” I ask, incredulous, “How is that possible—she’s dead.”

Cerise waves a gloved hand, “She’s not so much as dead than she is dead to me.”

“I don’t think so. I’m sure we’re going to Gigi’s or Simons.”

“Simon,” my mother says his name, forcing it through clenched teeth, “is coming with Anais. Hélène has requested your presence, Elise; I trust you won’t let her down.”

“I have no problem letting down my own mother—why would I have any issue not showing up for a woman whom I’ve never met?”

“I’ll pay your rent for the next year.”

“Two. And I want a new outfit for it.”

Cerise stands, “Are you sure you’ll fit in anything?” She whispers, lips grazing my ear as her fingers tap my stomach, after a moment she sighs, “Fine. Whatever. Will you be there—and pleasant?”

“As pleasant as possible.”

Cerise nods, “Clean him up. I don’t want him puking on my mother.”

When she’s gone, Abram finally speaks, “You have a grandmother?”

“Apparently.”

♡ ♡ ♡

Flying to New York was the last thing I wanted to do—sitting on a plane for six hours with sickness that still hasn’t subsided and a stomach that pressed too tight against the seam of my pants, when the plane landed I rushed toward the closest bathroom and empty my stomach into the only toilet that’s flushed.

“Stomach bug.” I tell Abram, when I leave. He looks skeptical and I can’t blame him, but he stopped asking questions weeks ago. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t linger around the bathroom doors when I close them after dinner. Or stare at my plate of food while I’m eating—but he’s stopped asking.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, breaking eye contact with Abram long enough to look over at Ellie.

“Whose idea was it to put Brody next to me?” She asks, “it was you, wasn’t it?” she looks over at Abram.

“Actually,” I grin, “that was all me. I had to.”

“You’re an asshole. Really, the biggest, hairiest asshole. He wanted to talk the entire flight,” Ellie says, she stops talking when Brody leaves the restroom. Interlocking our arms, she pulls us several feet ahead of them. “Why did you even invite him anyway?”

I shrug, “He and Abram need to make up. I’m tired of them fighting—I hope this helps.”

She rolls her eyes, “Brody keeps saying he’s going to be there. He’s going to tell Natasha and we’ll be a family. But that was after three bloody mary’s.” She frowns, “I just—don’t want to get my hopes up.”

We stop walking around the baggage claim and one by one our suitcases—or in my case, the three I brought with me—are pulled off the belt. “Cerise told me she ordered us a—oh there’s my name.” I say moving toward the man in the suit holding a dry erase board in my name.

Hélène is there when we arrive. She sits pin-straight on the couch beside Anais, holding both her hands and speaking quietly.

“Elise,” Simon says, rushing toward the door and hugging me. The grip on his bottle is bone white and he kisses my cheek, “I saw your flight had a delayed landing because of the snow. I was worried you wouldn’t make it.”

“And miss this Jerry Springer Christmas special? I think not.” Cerise starts walking toward me but the woman I’ve never met stands, and closes the distance between us, “I’m so glad to see you’re back from the dead,” I tell her.

She laughs a throaty, shrill laugh that has been perfectly sculpted from many years of practice. “The new Jesus, no?” her accent is thick and she brings me close, kissing both my cheeks, “Cerise,” she says turning to look at my mother, “I have no idea what it is you’re talking about—this girl is gorgeous—I don’t know how something so perfect came out of something so—,” she doesn’t finish her sentence, instead adding a uch.

She’s beautiful, worldly and smells expensive. I notice all the diamonds on her fingers and her neck, wondering how it doesn’t weigh her down. We spend the night talking, Hélène mostly jabbing at Cerise any moment she enters a room—she tells me that she has tried meeting me, but after I was five Cerise decided to cut all contact. She had no idea Simon and Anais were a thing—but says they’re good for each other.

“I wouldn’t blame your mother though,” she says, mouthing the last bit of champagne in her glass, “she’s never quite grown out of that jealous phase—first with Anais and now with you,” she places a hand to my cheek and I flinch back. I’ve spent years learning that softness always precedes sharp with Allaire women. “She can’t help it. It’s like a disease. A sick black cancer on her heart, I think she’s incapable of truly loving anyone but herself.”

I have so many questions about her—about my mother but they die on my tongue when she excuses herself to her room before I can.

♡ ♡ ♡

“Are you sure you want to do this now? Here?” Ellie asks. “What if he doesn’t react how you want him to?”

My fingers have gone white from gripping the wrapped present. I spent weeks trying to decide on the perfect way to tell him and hours trying to wrap it.

“What if he hates it and leaves and you never see him again?”

“Do you think?” I ask, looking down at the peach and white paper, “Seriously—Ellie, do you think he would do that?” I ask, nauseous churning violently in my stomach. My anxiety was an ocean before a storm, breaking brutally against my bones. “Oh my god. What if this is a mistake? What if—,”

“It’s Abram. I don’t think he’ll leave—but I don’t know if he’ll be happy. Not a lot makes him happy these days.”

Anais knocks on the door softly, “Just checking to see if you’re awake—do you want to come do presents? I believe Abram is waiting for you.” I look over at Ellie, her small belly that is just starting to pudge out and then at mine, hidden in an oversize shirt of Abram’s. I nod and stand up—it was now or never.

There’s a spot for everyone in front of the nine foot tree. Cerise and Hélène ( who has kindly asked me to call her Meme, and not grandma ) are sitting in chairs, Simon has one leg crossed under the other on the couch and everyone else was on the floor.

“Are you feeling sick again?” Abram asks staring at me. The concern in his voice is mounting, “Elise—maybe we should—,”

I drop the present in his lap, “Shut up and open that.”

Ellie hands something to Brody without looking at him and then sits away from him on my other side. Still, Abram refuses to move—he parts his lip to speak and I hold up my hand—, “Please, just open that.”

Despite not wanting to listen to me, he does. He tears at the gold bow, takes his time opening the wrapping paper at the seams and stares at the slate gray box. Carefully he removes the lid and I watch as his brows crease. He lifts the black and grey King’s onesie and stare at it—then up at me—then back down again. Turning around his fingers run over the imprinted Kempe 09 on the back.

“Surprise?”

[outofcontrolagainnn]

I love these

1. Are looks important in a relationship? yes and no. 2. Are relationships ever worth it? sometimes. 3. Are you a virgin? lol 4. Are you in a relationship? yeah 5. Are you in love? maybe 6. Are you single this year? no 7. Can you commit to one person? yes 8. Describe your crush..... well, he’s my boyfriend. He’s outgoing, funny, he has super soft lips and he treats me like a queen. 9. Describe your perfect mate... Someone i can laugh with and go on adventures with. 10. Do you believe in love at first sight? no 11. Do you ever want to get married? maybe 12. Do you forgive betrayal? depends. 13. Do you get jealous easily? yes 14. Do you have a crush on anyone? my mans 15. Do you have any piercings? yes. two holes on each ear, cartilage, nose 16. Do you have any tattoos? yes, one on my shoulder of an owl. 17. Do you like kissing in public? i dont give a fuck, kiss me anywhere 20. Do you shower every day? sometimes i get high and forget 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? of course 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? yes 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yes 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? maybe 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? yes same on 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? a few times. 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? poem yes. 28. Have you ever been cheated on? no 29. Have you ever cheated on someone? lowkey a lil 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? my boobs, make them perky and even size. 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yes 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? thought i did, he’s a liar 33. Have you ever had sex with a man? yes 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? yes 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? yes 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yes 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? yes 41. Have you had sex so far this year? yes 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? a while 43. How long was your longest relationship? 2 years 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 other than my boyfriend now. 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012? i dont fucking know lmao 46. How many times did you have sex last year? oh shit 47. How old are you? 21 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? fuck you nigga, you only like me. goodbye 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? his laugh 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? no fuck that stupid ass nigga 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? no tbh 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Ex. He’s a drug addict who hurt everyone close to him. 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Lmao prob. Had to cut off all my hoes randomly 54. Is there someone you will never forget? a few people. 55. Share a relationship story... One day me and my boyfriend E were hanging out with friends at his house. I went to say bye to one of his friends girlfriends and she smelt my hair and was like omg E you get to smell that everyday? And he replied with “everyday. she always smells beautiful. she is beautiful. i love her” 56. State 8 facts about your body. I weigh 180, lost 16 pounds recently, i’m a D Cup, i’m only 5′3, i have cute toes, i always smell good, i have sensitive skin, i’m white af

57. Things you want to say to an ex. Suck my dick bitchhhhh, glad i’m flexing on you now. 58. What are five ways to win your heart? sense of humor, good taste in food, love for movies, religious, always telling me im pretty. 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 10 years was the oldest 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? smile, hair 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? eat my pussy 63. What is your definition of “having sex”? dick inside 64. What is your definition of cheating? you showing interest in anyone in any way other than me. 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? suck on my titties babe 66. What is your favourite roleplay? sexy student 67. What is your idea of the perfect date? movies, food, holding hands, long kisses 68. What is your sexual orientation? straight 69. What turns you off? hardcore drugs, phony vibes 70. What turns you on? lip biting, titty sucking, neck kissing, grabbing my face to kiss me 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? can’t remember 72. What words do you like to hear during sex? “fuck” “shit” “oh my god” “that pussy tight” DAMN RIGHT BOIIIIII 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? throw a surprise party 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? money? lol idk 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? my old coworker Hannah went to this office to get this paperwork i needed. i really needd her help after not seeing her for over a year and she still helped me out. 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? probably get vanessa the vegetable cutter for $200 for her birthday 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? who gives a fuck, be happy 78. What’s your dirtiest secret? i have ..... “    “ 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? my mans was texting his Ex. 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? this morning when i said bye to Esan 81. Who are five people you find attractive? chris hemsworth, Esan, heath ledger, brad pitt, tyre gibson 82. Who is the last person you hugged? Esan’s mom. 83. Who was your first kiss with? Marvin...? LMAO 84. Why did your last relationship fail? he OD’d 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? idk maybe