#Idk in general my sexuality is really all over the place so its hard to completely set one label for it

[buddieinmybeddie]

LGBTQ+ folk what was your gender/sexuality pipeline?

[portraitofadyke]

I think Our Flag Means Death is a very unique show in a way that they don't care to cater to mainstream media. And yes, by mainstream media I mean the general straight people.

I think it's very important that we have feel-good shows like Heartstopper. A few years back, a tv show about two queer boys in high school would be unthinkable. But its plot generally revolves around explaining queerness. Sure, it's nice. It's definitely the show I would watch with my family if I were a teenager and wanted to come out again (I had to watch glee with my mom to do that. not optimal). It's the show where teenagers find love and themselves, but sexuality is constantly discussed, explained, sanitized. It's the show straight people will watch. And that's good. We do need shows like that.

But Our Flag Means Death doesn't even bother trying. It's a show about mostly middle aged people, most of them not white, most of them queer in one way or the other. It's really a game of spot the hetero, like someone said. And the characters are not sublte about it. They have sex for fun, something most characters don't have in tv shows, definitely not queer characters. They make dick jokes. They are not all conventionally attractive and they know it, and the writing doesn't care. They are all people before they are queer representation.

Stede's storyline in s1 is in a part about discovering himself and his sexuality, but it's not obnoxiously repeated. Instead, it's played in a natural way. Stede's storyline is ALL about finding himself, yet it's not just about that. Just like Ed's storyline, it's about toxic masculinity and allowing himself to have fine things and self-hatred and finding his place in a world, something most of us can relate to. Hell, none of us were even sure the main characters were going to kiss and end up together, we were all so sure it's a queerbait. But this show doesn't bait its audience. It's not afraid of weirdness. It embraces it instead. There is a nonbinary character. No, they are not a mermaid. Call them jim. That's it. Yes, Lucius and Pete got engaged. Everyone there knows what mateolage is, congrats. Olu and Jim never break up and then Archie shows up, then Zheng, and we all know. We all know.

Two men nearing fifty have a deep, romantic moment where one of them appears as a mermaid, and it's treated as the profound scene it is without ridiculing it. This would never fly in a 'mainstream' media. It would have to be downplayed. Here, it saves Ed's life.

The show tells you racists suck, but it doesn't tell you in a condescending, finger-waving way catered to the white people. Instead, it sets your ship aflame and burns you alive, runs a knife through your hand, puts poison in your drink and kills you.

This is a show for adults, for queer people of all kinds, and it does not give a fuck if anyone else gets it. It's so rare to find a tv show that caters to us, yet alone a tv show that's genuinely good and caring and so well loved.

This is a show that basically straightbaited its audience in the first season, that's how much they don't care.

Idk, I just feel that it will take ages for another show like OFMD to exist in a world full of MCU and media that tries so hard to be liked by everyone it loses its personality and charm. Rant over

[communistkenobi]

ok conclave thots (spoilers)

trying very hard to set aside my feelings on the Catholic Church to evaluate this movie. It’s quite beautiful, everything has a very solid physical presence, big wooden doors thunking, columns of stone and marble, thick robes, luxurious physical sets. Really enjoyed the cinematography. The cast was all really enjoyable aside from Stanley Tucci, not bc he’s a bad actor but I could not be sold on him being a cardinal. he seemed generally out of place. Although he was clearly there to be a bit ‘out of place’ as a figure for liberal Catholics, like definitely the type of guy who would think creating an anime girl avatar for the Catholic Church would be a good move to modernise the church. Actually maybe he was good in that movie I change my mind.

He did also demonstrate the complete failure of liberalism to respond to right wing rhetoric - all he says in response to Tedesco’s islamophobic rant about the need for religious intolerance is “you should be ashamed of yourself!”, just totally unable to address Tedesco’s fixation on conducting religious warfare. The film is centred around the church’s need to manage its public image, making multiple references to the recent international outcry over the church’s systemic sexual abuse problems, its homophobia & anti-abortion views that are increasingly falling out of favour, and the general trouble the church has with the press. There is a clear emerging clash between tradcaths and liberal Catholics that are fighting for dominance in the church. The film ultimately finds synthesis between these two poles in Benitez, a man who conducted missions in ‘war torn’ countries such as the Congo and Afghanistan (thus having a more genuine connection to religious intolerance than privileged, out of touch conservatives like Tedesco) but despite that still desires to promote unity and tolerance, and at the last hour is revealed to be an intersex man who was counselled by the pope to get a hysterectomy (and decided against it), as if literally embodying the tension between these two positions within the church. Not sure how I feel about that lol, intersex characters are so rare and he’s not treated as a punchline, they even do the “born this way” thing with it as like god made him intersex. so like props for that I guess.

overall a very goofy person’s idea of power and politics but it was a fun watch and I had a good time. Kinda soured on how ridiculous it is that Benitez would pull a super-majority from a single speech to Tedesco about him not knowing anything about “real war” and the need for unity - like idk I remember learning about Mehmet Ali Acğa’s assassination attempt of the pope and how virulently Islamophobic the response was from the public & media, the idea that there would be a “Muslim terrorist” bombing (they leave it vague in the movie but that’s clearly what’s being evoked) in Rome that damaged the building or church or wherever the cardinals were, and the cardinals didn't all immediately side with Tedesco is pretty mind boggling lmao. Again trying very hard to set aside my thoughts on history and religious politics and just have a fun time with this one, but it’s hard to distance those things when the history being dealt with is so recent.

Ralph Fiennes owns in this movie though, great job from him and just what I wanted out of a Ralph Fiennes character. I really liked this review of it on Letterboxd

[aranock]

I'm tired.

Just sort of in general I am exhausted. I know I put on a brave face a lot, but the hate does get to me. The constant unceasing hatred both offline and online gets to me. I'm human idk what to say. Been thinking a lot about the Bilbo quote, I might be paraphrasing, "I feel like too little butter spread across too much toast."

It's pride month, I should be feeling happy right? I convocated finally after a brutal long degree I should be feeling happy right? I like how my body looks for the first time in my life shouldn't I feel happy?

And I know that's not helpful, that feelings are not a should thing. And yet I feel it anyway :/. Not that I do not feel happy, I would say on average I am better than I have been at any other point in my life. But it does get to me.

I was invited to dinner with a former family member, a blood relative that breached every boundary I placed and even went so far as to accost me in a public space. It's hard watching someone lose all love for you the more you become yourself. Being told I'm an embarrassment to my parents by creeps online stings a lot more now that I had a blood relative say it to my face while aggressively yanking my jacket so I couldn't get away. I know its a lie, I know that this person saying that hurt my parents as much as it did me. Alas, anxiety rarely responds to facts or evidence.

Everytime it feels like I'm fine and over it; this person manages to weasel their way around boundaries to fuck up my mental health for a week. And the thing about chronic illnesses like mine is they flare up quite horrendously when you get stressed and anxious. Anxiety means waking up to acid burnt throat from reflux.

It makes my voice dysphoric all day.

I think deep down one of my greatest fears is that I am unlovable, that everyone around me secretly hates me and is just waiting for the excuse to finally be rid of interacting with me. I am terrified that I am a burden. Mortified by the false belief that I am broken.

Despite how horrific my childhood adolescence and some of my early adulthood were, my family was at least a safe place. I recognize that I was privileged to have that. With that said I think the reason this whole thing has rocked me so much is that it violated that one last place I felt safe. It has made me doubt the love of those I never thought I would.

Sometimes transphobia feels like drowning, and if you try to swim for air everyone decides to shove you further down cause actually it's proof you are faking needing breath.

I text someone anytime I go run errands, just to make sure someone knows. Had too many experiences of hate. I get anxious when I go to get groceries; will this be the time I get hit by a vehicle driven by a far right transphobe, am I going to get called a slur again, will the store staff get suspicious of me and search through all my groceries to make sure I actually paid for it. But please, tell me how I don't know what its like to be oppressed. When men sexually harass, catcall, creepily hit on, follow me around clearly I am not at all experiencing sexism. Obviously the real worst thing in the world is that women "cancel" people on the internet, and trans people exist. Did they think sending me hateful articles would suddenly make me go "oh yes clearly its all in my head, please genocide my community, I stand for nothing and have the moral backbone of a slug."

I don't really know why I'm writing this, I dont usually feel or desire to express something like this publicly. I will probably delete it later. Maybe I disappear into writing cause its easier to deal with the feelings that way. That at least then someone gets something out of my pain. That maybe it helps to condense emotional mountains to the mole hills of short strokes of a pen or presses of a key. To let them explode outward in a flurry of thoughts and words that others look at and say "I too have felt this, you are not alone, you are not wrong for feeling this way."

Anything to take the weight of it all off my chest for a second.

Because I am tired.

I'm exhausted really.

I don't want to be brave or strong or resilient. It's tiring to bear the weight of that and a billion projections. Atlas does not bear the heavens upon his shoulders because he is strong or brave. He bears it because he has no other choice. Because people put it on him.

I just want to exist; that is apparently too much to ask for as a trans woman.

If you are concerned, please don't worry I'll be fine, I was fine every other time after all. This too shall pass. But right now it hurts.

And I have had my fill of hurt for many lifetimes.

[synesindri]

so admittedly i did think it was a little bit random when they started calling the mutineers a coven but i've seen the light now so here are my thoughts on this kickstarted by this description of a common 19th century british witch archetype:

literary representations of witches would also be underpinned by popular tales recorded by folklore collectors in most parts of Britain, which portrayed such people as utterly wicked, possessed of all too effective magical powers, and ending up brutally punished by death or injury

— ronald hutton, "Witches and Cunning Folk in British Literature 1800–1940," p29

1. "utterly wicked." i mean. no justification needed for this one probably.

2. "possessed of all too effective magical powers." not directly, but hickey is weirdly unaffected by sickness and starvation and exposure and exhaustion compared to the others (a lot of his off-the-rails behaviors/mentalities later on do map on reasonably well to symptoms of lead poisoning and other things going on, but like, he isn't bleeding or losing teeth and i would sell my soul for my skin to look the way his does even during the very worst of everything, so). he also clearly has a lot of power over many of the men, in an understandable leadership way that is more reliant on charisma, bribery, planfulness, and situations than magic, but it does seem kind of magical at times

3. "ending up brutally punished by death or injury." hard to get more brutally punished than literal bodily bifurcation. the rest of the "coven" likewise meet brutal ends.

4. devil shenanigans. lots of focus during this time period in british lore on witches and devil worship. obviously the tuunbaq is not a or the devil and it is troubling to suggest as much (even in its role as a fabricated entity that does not actually belong to the culture it has been inserted into). nonetheless, it is presented fearsomely in a way that seems likely to be understood as demonic or hellish by a christian crew such as the men of terror and erebus (it might even be described as such canonically? i don't remember specific examples and i haven't checked). certainly everyone has a good christian "avoid that thing" reaction to the tuunbaq — everyone except hickey, who finds it appealing and sees an opportunity to seek power through it, much as folkloric and literary witches of the era were depicted as doing through the devil.

5. christian inversions and rejections. the mutiny arguably really kicks off with the murder of lt. irving, the most outspokenly christian person in the group. christ symbolism through the "punished as a boy" scene through framing and posture. as lt hodgson so kindly spells out for us, cannibalism and (catholic) communion both involve the consumption of human blood and flesh. at mutineer supper time i was briefly convinced they were about to say grace (totally subjective on that one but whatev). hickey going up the hill to listen to his thoughts was very prophet-like imagery. hickey's final speech rejects god and religion. probably there are more examples but i think that's enough for this post that is already longer than i planned for it to be.

6. sexuality part 1. witches of the time and place were associated with non-normative sexual practices (including homosexuality, promiscuity, femdom, sexual coersion, so on and so forth). hickey is directly depicted in a sexual and romantic relationship with another man (who is also the one who first suggested mutiny in the first place, solidifying the narrative importance of the connection between gay people and mutiny. be gay do crimes but for serious). idk what the stance in general fandom scholarship is about the hickey-tozer dynamic, but i would say that is plausibly depicted as at least being implied to be not 100% heterosexual, which is particularly notable because that has important potential effects on how the power structure of the mutineer camp works — a chaste rank-based collegiality has a very different vibe than a situation where the main guy in charge and his second in command might be fucking (or kissing, or holding each other's faces in a sort of tender pseudo-religious way, or whatever else they might have been getting up to together) — this is getting a bit off from witchcraft but certainly there are many comparable depictions of witches coercing powerful men to do their bidding by using sexuality (see my non-existent au i just thought of just now that's based on lewis's the monk, i guess???)

7. sexuality part 2. witches also were notorious for doing castration to people. sorry, irving.

8. sexuality part 3. perhaps most notably witches were regarded as having sexual relationships with the devil. none of the mutineers ever gets it on with the tuunbaq obviously (although i feel confident that some adventurous fic writers out there have probably made this a subject of their study), but it is KIND of attempted symbolically. i talked about this already but it bears repeating here that the tongue is an erogenous body part generally, and there is possibly some mild extra narrative emphasis on that symbolism for hickey specifically, so the metaphorical self-castration of him cutting out his own tongue and offering it to the tuunbaq is a little bit giving weird sex. it's also giving nun/priest/monk-like disavowal of the potential for (at least a few types of) sex with human beings in favor of pledging oneself to a deity.

9. human sacrifice. common trope with witches, and the clear point of hickey's dragging everybody up that hill with him when he goes also to attempt to sacrifice part of his own human self to the tuunbaq.

10. identity. this is a little less solid but there's often kind of a sense that witches aren't who they claim to be? see lewis's the monk again, with (spoilers, i guess) the character of monk rosario revealing himself actually to be matilda, a seductive witch, who eventually does a double reveal that she's a demon. the "i'm not really cornelius hickey" reveal is giving that, a bit.

[orkbutch]

Your kink posting has got me questioning 🤔 do you have head canon kinks for all the companions? ( or at least the hot girlies )

To a point yes, but they are still being formed. I do think there are certain characters that are just Less Kinky, not because their personality means they CAN'T be kinky but, idk... for balance, and because it seems less Likely. My thoughts on the companions so far: Shadowheart: Very kinky, true sadist / masochist (both equally). I think she'd enjoy a LOT of things, but the classics: bondage, impact, knives, wax play, degradation, worship, roleplay (especially religious, training and corruption themes), edging/denial, CNC... I also think that she would really enjoy rigging, if she ever got the time and setting to practice that. Perhaps she would adapt it from Sharran torture methods similar to Japanese rope techniques used in the Edo period to extract confessions. I think that she would enjoy the slow ritual of it, I think she would enjoy its elegance, and I think she'd enjoy how excruciating but euphoric it can be. Again, she'd be into many things, and very adept at turning most kinks into something she can engage with via the right dynamic and context. Lae'zel: Also very kinky in a completely different way; much more about the power dynamics than the methods. Biggest thing would probably be Primal. Possessive. Defs messy; BO, sweat, blood, tears, spit, piss probably lmao. Would love contests of strength, causing controlled damage to bodies and enduring pain. I think with more trust and affection established with someone, she would be able to enjoy another layer of play; immobilization, sensory-focused play, degradation/humiliation, fear play, care giving/receiving, overstimulation... still very much into possessiveness in play, but with an emotional element that made it even more intense.

Karlach: I think Karlach would do plenty of kink without being deeply invested in it; she wants a good time and is up to try anything once. An element of Karlach's character that I think is very relevant to her relationship to kink and sex in general is that Karlach basically Never feels physically vulnerable; she knows that she's usually the biggest, toughest badass in the room. I think that would make her very sexually adventurous because she simply wouldn't fear much. What she struggles with is intimacy, and her building emotional trust would be the most significant element of her relationship to kink. All that said; I imagine her favourite kinky fun would be rough fucking, manhandling, wrestling, skin-contact sensory-focused play, temperature play, leather (because its badass and feels good), and honestly?? Oonga Boonga caveman brain misogyny-tinged degradation. Just feels right for her. The simple pleasure of a little lover under her saying how big she is and how hard she goes and begging to be knocked up would absolutely send her. I just FEEL it

Gale: I don't have many well formed thoughts on Gale's kinks. I suspect he'd be into like... Tantric Embodied Karma Sutra stuff, with a lot of wizardy bells and whistles. Creating an experience of non-duality as a kink. Basically, that guy at the Crystal Rainforest Festival that is suspected of being a cult leader and has VERY good drugs for sale. The kind of kink he does, Gale probably does

Astarion: Hmmmmm. I can see him, over time, coming to a place of comfort with non-sexual kink as a way to engage with power difference (Astarion forming a healthy identity as a dominant would be really good for him I think) and experience grounding, safe sensations within his body. I think kinky sex would take longer, but submission would be extremely difficult and vulnerable for him; forming a responsible dominant identity could be quite healing for him. On the other hand, choosing to submit to a dominant that he actually trusted and who took care of him could also be very very healing, just... I think that would be difficult for him to do safely. It would take a great deal of time to get there.

Wyll: Probably a less kinky person, but man, I think he'd be a great pampered sub. Worshipping, being treated like a bit of a boy toy. Would love mutual possessiveness. That'd be hot frankly. But I'm still figuring his kink vibe out! I gotta play his romance.

Minthara: Freak. Proper freak. Terrifying freak. Snuff kink freak.

Halsin: Wholesome freak into surprisingly intense shit. Exhibitionism, primal, breeding, rough, biting. Wants a lot of stimulation in every way.

[kitkat-2204]

I recently watched I saw the TV glow.

Do you wanna know the biggest reason I connected with this movie? It feels like im obsessed with social media sometimes. Growing up I thought it was normal to latch yourself onto people as if it was my last chance at relationships because everyone thought i was weird. I would watch tv shows over and over and latch on to the characters as if they were my real friends because I didnt have any growing up. Now i do have friends, but i feel very dissociated from it. I still feel that obsessive thought of “if I was somewhere else” both as a trans person, and an autistic person. Even just a queer person in general. Every day feels like a lost game with my own comfort and that’s why I love this movie. Even the mundane things like the way I express myself sexually feels like an appeal game for other people. I feel very trapped like owen feels. Constantly out of place since the day I was born, and ive never really gotten out of that. I was always so unbelievably weird with what I like to do or say, and it feels like I might never stop people pleasing. Idk but that’s really just how i feel sometimes. Especially because its so hard for me to stop.

How does this relate to my kinks? I honestly feel this way about sexual expression too. I think my kink expression is interconnected with my relationship with being an out queer person. I just wanna run away from thinking too deeply about. It just turns me on..right? But that isnt what it is for me. Its a form of expression so deep that it means something to me emotionally for me to privately express it. Its a connection to my relationship with being a queer person, and I feel ashamed of being queer, so naturally I will feel ashamed of this. But I am working on it :).

I am so glad im in this community with all of you. Maybe someone feels the same :)

[tinukis]

i may seem to lean in more towards romanticism of zolu but imma be real here

theyre a whole secret third thing to me like— idk how to explain it it other than their love and bond transcends what romance and platonic. yes i will draw them smooching and have hearts flying all around them but it is not exactly romantic/platonic... (i mean honestly i dont mind how ppl interpret zolu whether its my art or in general)

bc i saw this one comic that just... perfectly described zolu and the strawhats to me? it was about law catching zolu and then discussing with the other strawhats about it and they explained that luffy does in fact love everyone equally and the same. for luffy, romantic nor platonic is Not a thing to him. (this is how i view luffy's aroaceness !! love isnt a category for him. love isnt something he could just pick and choose or whatever. love is just... loving someone. love is for the people very dear to him.) and in the comic, the strawhats say that zoro's the one and only guy who could keep up with luffy's energy and antics. so they dont mind the things they do together in privacy or in front of them. they know how much luffy loves them ALL EQUALLY and they all love him back

on topic of zolu and aroace... i've been around spaces and talked to a few zolu shippers (qpr shipping count) and noticed how many of us are at least on the aro/ace spectrum. there's just Something about zolu's special relationship that attracts us, and if you ship them and are aro/ace, im certain you'd agree. (even if you arent, we can mutually agree that they are a third thing, right?) like, theres something so... aroace about their relationship. they can be seen as romantic and they can be seen as platonic, but what can be absolutely certain is that their relationship is definitely queer. bc it's not something you can easily describe or that their relationship is The Norm. theyre insane for each other. luffy's the sun. zoro's the moon. luffy's a good. zoro's the king of hell. they complete each other. they absolutely need each other.

my memory is horrible and i cant say the words properly but basically: zolu's love and relationships transcends romance and platonically. yes you can see it as either, but as an aroace, i Feel it is way beyond that.

and again, will repeat it a million times over (mind you, it's not canon. it's a widely accepted HEADCANON. if you think luffy's sexuality is something else, thats cool): i believe that luffy's aroaceness is way beyond "not interested in attraction/xyz/whatever" like yeah, he doesn't think about it because it doesnt matter much to him. he doesnt apply whats romantic or platonic to HIS relationships. he can recognize romantic, sexual, platonic things. it's just not his thing to really think hard about (he doesnt think much in the first place (affectionage)) he feels love for the people he cares about and if they feel loved by him, however he approaches the love (and if they accept that kind of form) thats all that matters to him. he doesnt label/categorize love because it makes no sense to Him to prioritize someone over the other just bc he loves that someone a different way. he loves everyone equally and treats them as equals.

and when it comes to Any luffy ships, calling his significant other "partner" is what fits best. theyre not just best friends, theyre partners.

this is a mess of a rant but this is just how i feel abt zolu, luffy, his ship pairs, and his aroace hc :]

[maplebean2003]

I'm like fresh in the marble hornets fandom so maybe I'm missing context but I've seen so many conversations bringing up tim in the last few days that I've even stepped foot here and just wow ...this isn't what I expected from this fandom at all wtf.

Tim from marble hornets is literally not fat in the slightest he's got a average body type wtf is wrong with y'all being so fatphobic and weird in general when someone isn't even in the slightest bit chunky also literally why does it matter anyway plot wise :/ mind ya business,like...he's a real dude playing that character not some anime kawaii man

He probably doesn't need people even having 'discourse' over it when he's literally uncomfortable in general due to y'all sexualizing him as is why do y'all care so much about a person's body it's fucking weird

I don't understand why its bein mentioned in the first place - just leave people alone and be happy they even made something you enjoy/enjoyed,respect people and move on without making it weird dude it's not that fucking hard

And again maybe I'm missing context of some sort and assuming the worst but this has baffled me significantly where I'm genuinely concerned about it cause it's really not cool to be bitching about something that doesn't matter or effect anything or anyone

I've seen the conversations a lot on Twitter as well as here on Tumblr for context so I hope I don't just sound like I'm unhinged lol but I scroll passed anyway cause I don't wanna see it but then more appear and it's like ....okay clearly this is something being talked about currently

Idk maybe I'm butting in and shoving my nose where it doesn't belong as I don't think people are intending to be malicious or at least I hope not but it's...very odd to me to suddenly see especially RIGHT as I enter the door to the fandom ^^" I'm not trying to be a dick or anything it's just kinda appalling is all

I don't mind if people draw him fat to clarify or like skinny ECT I do not give a shit about that lmao do whatever you want its fictional art I just mean when people are specifically targeting Tim's irl actor in the conversation that it's really not cool

Sorry for the rant btw I just kinda wonder if I'm the only one raising an eyebrow at these conversations or if maybe I'm over reacting when it's not that deep or if maybe I have the right to be icked by it and am not alone

I don't have any @'s to tag to show the posts I've been seeing as again I typically scroll passed them as to avoid the algorithm from thinking I want to see more of that conversation

Now I'll probably be stuck seeing it by even posting this lol but meh I just wanna know if I'm tweekin about nothing or if this is weird genuinely

Or if maybe I'm misunderstanding possibly even! Please do be gentle with me in the comments I'm a wuss lmao I don't want to fight I just want to understand wtf is going on and why it's being talked about

Why do I care? Personally it just weirds me out in general to be so focused on someone's body like that is all so of course I am a bit concerned and curious if the fandom is always like this or what

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

this is gonna be a long rant but it's bothered me for a while

(non-ed related)

and any thoughts are welcome but it's mostly a rant

so basically i dont have a lot of girlfriends. i never have, all the ones i got close to generally either betrayed me in the worst ways or we moved and lost touch. (betrayal backstories is a whole other rant, but it's nauseating the way ive been treated by women who claimed to love me) so most of my friends are dudes, in fact, both of my true besties are.

anyway, i have really one solid girlfriend and shes a good bit younger than me. she also dont have a lot of friends in general, she has me and a small handful of others. she regards me as her bestie, i kind of guess shes mine but like...idk. i view her more like a younger sister, i guess.

so basically, she copies EVERYTHING i fucking do, within her means. like, before her and i were close, she just dressed pretty normal, no notable flavor or style. but now shes trying so hard to be goth bc i am. she cut her hair how mine used to be, dyed it black bc mine is, got all of the same piercings as me, yall get it. i wish i was exaggerating but im really not. even her mom messaged me to tell me she bases her style off me and shes glad im not a "greasy goth" (lol??)

but it's infuriating. i know i didnt invent goth. im not the first to have the piercings, hair, outfits, and interests i do...but it's really annoying to have someone base their entire style and interests off of me bc i have worked hard to curate myself as a person. i work hard for my aesthetic, im pretty thoughtful in my planning for outfits, how i decorated my home, everything, but especially bc these are genuine interests ive had since i was a preteen...and it's just so irksome to have someone try to imitate it as closely as possible every single day without any real, concrete interest in any of it, outside of prob just tryna be relatable to me

and a few weeks ago we got on the topic of sexuality and how im pan and have had gfs etc now shes magically also bisexual. she told me she got "tricked" by a straight girl recently but caught an attitude with me bc i told her if there wasnt clear intentions by both parties, she wasnt tricked, bc there was no flirting/romantic intent and that being bi/pan talking to straight women (or even other bi/pan wonen) doesn't automatically garner a romantic response. she didnt like that and got really snappy with me, but im not wrong. she tried to say she thought she was going on a date, but she was literally going to another friend's house to watch rupaul, and the other girl was also coming over, she sent me screenshots of the convo and like.....yeah, no, 1000% on her for thinking anything of it. she just picked said girl bc she was friends with her other friend and I guess it was an easy shot, but she also overlooked homegirl having a whole man too so like????? bro hello.

and i dont necessarily wanna be super confrontational about the aesthetic thing bc that just feels so middle school drama sToP cOpYiNg Me energy but it grates my skin...especially too bc like she also gets a little grumpy when she asks where my clothes are from and a lot of places i shop dont carry her size (shes a 3X or a 4X; ive never really looked or cared to see who carries what size bc im an xs so why would i??) and thats somehow my fault bc she cant buy the same shit i wear...or she complains she cant afford the docs or demonias etc like i have and its like okay curate your own damn style that you can afford bc like???? im not your fucking barbie doll mannequin?????

[borderline-gays-club]

2/29/24 9:20 pm

I’m in a place again where my self esteem is not really in great shape. And I’m in a place where I can/need to be honest with myself abt that. It’s where it can be a bit hard to look at myself in the mirror. Where I take photos of myself and it’s kinda hard to recognize that’s me. Or feel positive about my image. And I don’t like this feeling which is why I’m here writing.

There’s definitely a few factors at play; some are new some are old. I think one thing that’s been tough in general is what I am currently experiencing as a no identity self. By that I mean that I’m not stuck on an extreme feeling so my whole personality is not revolving around a feeling state. For example when I was hyper sexual and rage fueled that became my whole thing. Literally my other tumblr handle lol. Which I don’t really relate to anymore.

But the thing is, these were never really my personality anyway. Not in its core. They’re always fleeting, as emotions are fleeting. Which means my personality would just cling on to whatever is the most present. Just like how my personality wud also cling onto ppl in my life. And bc I’m not in any extreme emotional state I feel kinda lost. I feel vulnerable and bare. And trying to find something to hold onto. But it’s different than that horrid empty feeling. Bc I’m seeking out self in more positive ways and trying to be gentle and take my time with it. And really emphasize to myself that it’s ok to feel this lostness and that it’s important not to rush into a new “personality” for the sake of getting rid of this discomfort. I need to move slowly. I struggle with that so much.

Another thing that has not been great for my self esteem is my clothing. I’ve just been wearing ugly clothes that don’t really fit me that great for a while. And I haven’t really worn anything flattering in a while. So I don’t feel good in my clothes basically all the time. So I don’t feel good abt that. Also my hair needs to be cut lol. I don’t like how it looks rn so my hair is just always in a haphazard bun. And I don’t like that I always have to default to glasses rn bc I can’t afford contacts. I don’t like that all the jewelry I own just irritates my skin bc it’s cheap so I can’t accessorize. I don’t like not putting in effort in my appearance, but to be honest I just feel tired bc I’m broke and I can’t afford to look how I want anyway. It’s just a money problem. I’ll start to try when I can tho with what I have, bc it is taking a toll on my self image.

And lastly the way I’ve been exercising has not been great. I don’t enjoy going to the gym anymore. It’s boring and I just have fully concluded it’s just not for me. And it doesn’t help that I wud obsessively go to the gym when I was in the deep pits of ED so it doesn’t exactly have the best history. I thought it wouldn’t affect me but idk now. I thought going with a friend wud help, and I mean it has in terms of staying consistent. But it doesn’t make me like it. It still feels forced and I kinda just want it to b over. Which is not good. Cus that means I’m not really in my body while I’m doing it which is what I struggle with anyway.

When I did boxing when I was able to, it felt so different. It was the first time I was able to do an exercise consistently and consistently get more and more excited abt it. I actually felt very aware of my body and what I was doing with it. I felt very connected to my body which is a struggle for me. I’ll think more on this later, but I think the difference is that with boxing there’s feedback involved. As in there’s another person that needs to be involved to actually play the sport/game. There’s strategy involved and so many skills to master, and you pick which ones you want to master. I think it’s all these layers that kept me hooked and wanting to get better.

Anyway these are my current thoughts. I’m just in a place of deep frustration bc there’s so many things that I kno will help me, but I just can’t do it bc of money. In the meantime I’m just adapting to what I can do. But frustration has been a core feeling for a while.

[cool-island-songs]

11 and 25 for the dangerous game >:3

thanks mal! <33 (from this ask game)

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

just 3 on this account cuz it's my personal, none on my fanart archiving blog, and 7 on twitter though funnily enough half of those are stranger things-related from a period where i really couldn't escape stranger things. nothing against it—i just only want to see sp stuff and i guess there was a significant enough overlap for a bit

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

generally a lot of things that annoy me stem from the trend of complaining about "fetishization" (yaoi or just shipping culture i guess?) or acting like people are doing anything wrong or in need of pathologizing for interacting with fandom in a way that was totally routine a decade ago. that they need to show they're sufficiently queer and not focused on sexuality in any ~weird way. honestly, i find that sort of thing easy enough to block out on its own (there's more of it on twitter but i just look at art over there). young people often have shame about sexuality and it's none of my business or anything i would ever argue with someone about. i just disengage

it's more the reactions people have to being told they're doing something problematic. there's this endless chain of moral rationalizations for why it's ok to like the thing that piques one's interest because actually it's woke and you don't get it, i'm gay enough to like standard yaoi tropes. some real gay people are like this! you know.. like, why engage this in the first place? why lend any credence to this viewpoint by debating it on its own terms? you don't need to justify yourself to anyone. just keep yaoifying those fake guys

people end up making really weird generalizations about gender, sexuality, mental health, drug use, etc. in an effort to enjoy the old 00s yaoi tropes. to all those who do this, I'm here to tell you you can just enjoy whatever and no one can stop you. personally, even as a smut writer, i like when characters feel whole and often enjoy a fic less if i feel someone is being reduced to gendered stereotypes or flattened in some other way that doesn't interest or challenge me. but those are my own personal feelings and highly subjective besides

i also don't think sharing some broad identity marker with the character you are writing actually shields you from poor characterization. people can "fetishize" themselves easily (and sometimes that's what people want to read/write, and who cares), and it can be hard to write well-developed characters! i just like to read and view things i enjoy on the merits of the work alone

general "you can't ship that" and "he would never top/bottom" sentiments are similarly grating. people can and do ship literally anything and it can't be stamped out so idk why people waste their time streisand effecting ships/dynamics they don't like. with both of these, there's a sense of deluded entitlement, like if people weren't making stuff for their ship/dynamic, they'd be making it for yours. i promise you that that type of hectoring actually just drives people away from what you like. in general, people are often quite fixed in who their faves are and how they like them in romantic/sexual situations. but for those like me, who really can potentially like anything if sold in a way i find compelling, this stuff really confounds and frustrates me. people are bad at getting what they want because of this need to emotionally react without thinking through the way it might impact others. sad stuff to see from adults in particular tbh

[mysteryanimator]

You know what i dont think ppl would read this properly BUT this mockup sketch was birthed from a ramble lol.

Here's to the very silly (turned somewhat /serious ???? idk) hypoethical what-if season 3 became a thing and there is the potential to have mizrak and olrox do it. This is all copy and pasted from a infodump I did in the Castlevania Creatives discord server, so its very informal and just me spouting out words

The tone Olrox talks about the sun, the past, nature etc is very interesting to me because there's a "Longing. Desire. Love" for it. Yet, he's a vampire, he cannot truly be amongst it anymore BUT HE REALLY TRIES SO HARD, like compared to drolta, ezerbet or just a lot of vampires in castlevania in general, you don't really see them amongst nature DURING DAYLIGHT iirc. Him being in the shadows during day time is the closest thing he's going to get to being in the warmth of the sun.

Which do you know how else you get warm ✨INTIMACY✨

Which also like plays into a major factor of how he tries so hard to be human, and seeks that warmth in human lovers and turns them into vampires hoping to retain it. While we don't know about Olrox's previous lover, Mizrak was straight up dying, so imagine just Olrox carrying him the entire way there and just feeling him getting colder. Digressing though from intimacy and i wont say anything too nsfw but the idea of nudity, the "act" of it just being very human and longing for warmth and connection. Like in nocturne specifically (i wont go into s3 castlevania but it is there), it is initally starts with "omg THEYRE NAKED?", the entire convo is laced with wanting that warmth of and connection but they both have work to do lmao. My head is just SPINNING with vamprisim exploring sexuality and connection so bad like you wouldnt believe. Like the foundations are THERE because Mizrak has his whole complicated relationship with sexuality AND YOU COMBINE THAT WITH OLROX'S COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP WITH SEXUALITY BUT FOR A WHOLE SET A DIFFERENT REASONS YET THEY BOTH COME BACK FOR THAT DESIRE TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE? Again, this is so compelling to me, can you tell? I'm mentally front lines for if it ever EVER gets explored in a s3 because some really nice visual can be paired with it. Like since I already talked about like Olrox's yearning for nature and warmth, for like, 100% scenes would be censored BUT PLACING SOME NATURE STUFF OR SUN MOTIFS, OR LIKE JUST HAVING THE LIGHT cover stuff you can't show on netflix. So you can serve it as a nice technical reason for ratings BUT circle back for Olrox's need to look for things he's lost within human connection. Manifesting Season 3 mizrox going at it for the plot

Ok moving away from the intimacy talk so i can go more generally, this show definitely feels like vamprism seems to showcase how it can strip you from connections-- a very clear example being tera stripped from family ties (her palette is soooo cold now, like the warmer saturation of her skin and hair is GONE if we wanna talk about stripping warmth from her), and if we reallllllyyyy want to bring it back back, dracula, because he was cold before lisa, warm when lisa was there, then returned to being cold when lisa left.

Again apologises for any grammatical errors, mizrox intimacy scene has really decided to grab me by the skull for the past week

i also came out of watching wild robots yesterday so imaging the already preestablished purple and greens for olrox's colour association, YOU PUT THAT IN NIGHT MODE, then you shift that value into a more warm tone during the course of their one scene OR, you do that gradually over multiple scenes so you get gradual tone build up, to not only express that warmth olrox wants BUT it is so very feasible to push purple into a red tone because colour theory. Also red is mizrak's new colour association (that we know of)

anyways again, my insane moment here, i just think i would be cool because this is so out there, doubt this would ever happen BUT CONCEPT WISE, ITS COOL AND WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO EXECUTE SAID IDEA WHEN IM FREE HAHA (or… i might start chipping at it now… tempting its so tempting)

this is myst in the future uh I'm i don't think ill be executing it to its full capacity because it requires a lot more moving parts because if i want it to work the way i want to, it genuinely requires a whole season so i can do parallels and have it feel like it pays off. THOUGH I MAY BOARD IT COZ THE VISUAL IDEAS ARE FUN TO PLAY WITH AND THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE NOT SERIOUS HAHAHA

okok to back up my point i wanted to bring up this layout because it was so pretty and i think about the cool parallels they could do because this is blue for richtette, and then having a purple ver for mizrox, parallels, parallels

(layout by kloysius!)

ok that's the end of that discord ramble, and we're jumping to present Mystery!

So as you can tell the mockup colour wise goes VERY DIFFERENTLY, if not, almost opposite direction from the colour inspo. I realised from the get-go the red/yellow made is feel REALLY WARM and even with the purple like shadows, which have an association with mystical, cool- it still feels really hot in a way you're being smothered under the sun. Which that felt like the best way to go about it, if the idea is to go grounded, human and very feely. This completely contrasts how vampires are usually perceived yes, however it is a very very interesting but compelling way to communicate wanting a connection because you're building on top of that trope.

Also, this mizrox scene can absolutely be tied towards all the very pre-established themes of love, along with running in tandem to richer and annette (just very different approaches of love), along with also running in tandem to tera, however, showing the absence of love.

Again this is very silly, I just needed to shake out the creative brain worms because all the characters and their interweaving stories compel me, and how that is achieved visually is so interesting to me. As stated, the threads ARE THERE, just whatever is decided to be pulled (if any please s3 plsplspslpsls) has to correspond with what happens before and after any mizrak olrox scenes AND how it's role plays in the much grander narrative of nocturne. Again, this is all in good fun and i like thinking of hypotheticals <33333

quick mockup for hypothetical mizrox scene

its a whole thing how vampirism strips them from being in the warmth of the sun so instead they try to find warmth by- (gets dragged away)

[isa-ah]

I just wanna thank you for being a vocal angry trans guy. I'm also a trans guy, but just a few years ago, I'd fallen victim to the whole "trans men don't have it as bad as trans women, and are just begging for unearned attention when we insert ourselves in the conversation" mindset, and you (as well as a few other people I follow) have helped me unlearn all of that.

It's so frustrating when people withIN the trans community are fighting against other trans people. We all have it rough, and this infighting is going to help absolutely no one. Same with the kink at pride "discourse." I used to be on the "but what about the kids?" side until I learned that pride wouldn't even exist if it weren't for drag queens and kinksters. Pride isn't supposed to be family friendly! It's about embracing diversity and celebrating sexuality! That includes kink!

Anyway, thanks for helping me realize that I'm allowed to be an angry trans guy and stand up for myself and my own experiences. Tumblr (and just spending too much time online in general) really rots peoples brains, and I had to learn that the hard way, through first-hand experience lol

yeah, this place can definitely put you into a christian style pearl clutching tailspin about purity and sanitization but its like. whos dead bodies are our rights propped up on? are you going to undo everything thats been done for us by the generations before us because its not advertiser friendly?

the experience of being a trans man who experiences being spoken over, who experiences misogyny, who experiences transandrophobia, who experiences transphobia- like where do we ever get a word in edgewise about our OWN lived experiences? and if we cant discuss it, how are the kids ever going to know theyre not alone, and that theyre not the monster in the fairytale just for existing?

idk. the whole thing makes me really mad and i think more trans men should be getting fucking pissed at the way were treated in every circle were in, even our own.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else 

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.