#male abuse survivors

[biceratops7]

“Believe male victims!”

Girl you couldn’t even believe the first male sa victim in written history

Every time I see takes about Odysseus "cheating" on Penelope I can't help but wonder what peoples opinion on these events be if he happened to be a woman, while Circe and Calypso were men

[scumvillainess]

the thing about og shen qingqiu that i love so much is that out of all the horrible things he’s done, the only thing that he’s done that you can’t defend at all is the child abuse, lol.

he killed a bunch of men and burned their estate down to the ground? well, he can’t be blamed because he was only following the kam agenda as a true man-hater should.

oh, he abused multiple children under his care? yikes, is nobody going to call cps on this man?

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi all! I stumbled upon a website pertaining to sexual abuse and assault of men/boys. Here is their page of some books/films they recommend. Trigger warning for sexual abuse.

[egalitarianchica]

Support for Male Survivors

Since today is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Men and Boys, here are some resources for male survivors.

Male Sexual Assault Survivors

- 1in6

- MaleSurvivor

- Jim Hopper

- MenHealing

- O’Brien Dennis Initiative

Male Domestic Violence Survivors

- National Domestic Violence Hotline

[lightofraye]

I adore Brendan Fraser. He's always struck me as modest, blushed when he got a compliment on a podcast (I believe) and an amazing survivor. He went through hell after he tried to speak up about the sexual harassment he received, losing his job for a time and I believe this was when his marriage fell apart too.

This is partly why I've been focusing on male survivors and abuse victims because so many would be toxic towards them, say it was no big deal, praise some poor child (often teenage boys) for being preyed upon by adult female teachers, and so much more.

If I'm ever able to, I'd love to go back to college, take up psychology, and perform my own research since there's so little about them, the statistics, because of toxic masculinity.

I appreciate Brendan for speaking out about what he's been through. He's so beloved because he's humble.

Brendan Fraser

Im sorry, I had to put this here, because this actor has my utmost admiration.

This man won an Oscar and made a terrific comeback. In a movie where he looked like this:

Not because he's hot. Not because he has thirsty fans.

Because he's good at what he does.

The Whale is a damn good story. He made it incredible.

[licorice-and-rum]

Currently re-watching the Depp v. Heard case and realizing I could easily write pages and pages of why I think what I think, and about male victims of domestic violence and abuse, and how we're not morally prepared to deal with them.

[trenchcoat-dino]

i hate that abuse is always spoken about with female language. not all victims are women.

[queerism1969]

[habubatz]

IMPORTANT UPDATE

The Family of the Menendez Brothers has just launched a new website, containing the link to a petition in the favour of their upcoming trial in November.

This is huge guys. I am begging you, please, please, please share the link to their website and sign the petition. They have been serving for 35 years. They are in their 50s and they deserve a life in freedom. Abuse is abuse, no matter the skincolour, sex, wealth or sexual orientation of the victim. If you support victims' rights to live, you support the menendez brothers.

LINK TO THEIR WEBSITE:

[bonnibellexox]

Let’s Talk About Caught Red-Handed (Spoilers)

With this recent chapter, I’m seeing a lot of people criticising the way I’ve written Jaune. Weak, push-over, coward etc are all ways he has been described. And while I do agree that his inaction has run its course (which is why this chapter is the end of that arc for him) I do think these critisisms come from a place that may be unfair.

Jaune (in this story) is a r*pe victim and is being abused by a very broken Ruby. This is fresh, having only happened a week ago in the timeline. He, through no fault of his own, has been sucked into an abused girls life and as a result, she wanted to take out everything out on him. She doesn’t do this intentionlly, which lends itself to his self-blame as he feels she isn’t rying to hurt him. It’s not her fault.

It starts with her withholding affection and information. She presents herself as an untouchable, desirable girl with a twisted side he desperately wants to understand. Every time he gets close, sees some genuine emotion in her, she slams the door Hard, leaving him treading lighter next time. Without this emotional depth, he, like many of you, is left to percieve her as a 2D caracature. As a result, he objectifies, sexualitises and idolises her.

Next, she hides something big from him, something he knows is scaring her. He is simultaniously made to comfort her, while also not being good enough to know what he’s soothing away. He tries to stop playing games, but she ends up birsting into tears and voicing an identity crisis. She finally lets him in, lets him have something she’s held out of arms reach for so long, but disappears immediately after without a word of explanation.

As you can imagine, this starts his spiral of selfdoubt. He worries he did something, percieved everything wrong, that maybe she was right to be so guarded. She lies and says it was all fun and games, refusing to acknowledge real connection and intimacy.

Eventually, she baits him. She uses her own suffering as a barganing chip, luring him out with promise of affection and tranparency just to use him for comfort. They get close, he relaxes, he solidifies the idea that she’s worth fighting for and that being alone is unbarable, before she rips away again without explanation.

Having enough, he follows her and finds out that for a long time, she’s been getting blackmailed. She spends her nights being tortured and r***ed. He gets close to intervening, to violently attacking the people responsible, but a friend, someone he knows Ruby genuinely trusts in the way he so craves, warns him that it will only make it worse and risk her safety.

He tends to her wounds but she abandons him again, so he confronts her, ashamed of the anger he feels at being lied to for so long. During their conversation, he offers advice and in exchange, she gives him more affection. He desperately needs a sense of control and influence over this situation, so when she tells him that he “makes everything better,” it forms a new identity for him. One that needs to help in the few ways she will allow.

Then she realises that he can bring comfort and catharsis in a darker way. Manipulating him again and again, she uses small moments of honesty to condition him. She r*pes him, she projects all her hatred onto him, and finishes it off with just enough love that he wants to believe its worth it. But they also can’t help but hate each other, resent each other. They want to hurt the only people they can get their hands on and in a moment of dispair, she taunts him into beating her badly.

From there, he starts to realise how bad things are and wants to put an end to it. But confiding in others feels like putting a target on his own back. He is toxic too, he is abusive too, he is letting her suffer because he is frozen in place. Every movement to save her rips them apart, every kiss is met with a bite, every extended hand is flinched away from.

Jaune Arc isn’t like this in the show because this Jaune Arc was crafted to be insecure, scared, starved and emotional raw. He is an abuse victim. Give him that credit before you say he isn’t tough enough, the same grace you all seem to give Ruby.

[sanctuaryroses]

Traits and behaviours abusers look for in victims

what abusers do is entirely their fucking choice. Its a 100% on them. But I do think its important for victims of abuse to actually know what levers an abuser used to even get that far in, how they got past all those defenses. How they managed to manipulate. And what made them sure they could. None of these traits make it inherently easy for you to get abused, its not being aware that some ppl will see them as a possible leeway to abuse you that might make you unequipped to see that kind of threat. Its important to filter ppl who look for these things in you specifically, or seem a little to giddy at these things out.

Weak sense of self or identity, someone that is likely to become who he needs or desires. Bcz its convinient, and also its easy to make you feel like shit if youre insecure in who you are.

People-pleaser. You radiate empathy and kindness, you go the extra mile for people. You tend to sacrifice yourself for others. He knows with a bit of grooming, you can be pushed to sacrifice yourself even harder, this time for him.

He will scan for past a past abuse history, likely feigning sympathy, but hes actually trying to figure out how much this still impacts you today and how he can use it to manipulate you.

He knows you wont tell anyone. He doesnt want someone that has a lot of friends, or a big social circle, or if he will want someone easily isolated. Someone that blames themselves and wont tell others out of fear of being a burden.

Socially anxious or shy, someone that wont cause a ruckus or drama in public should he start being subtly abusive in public.

Someone emotional enough to be emotionally manipulated, but also neglected and self-controlled enough the person will try to keep those emotions inside as not to bother him or anyone else.

People who respond well to lovebombing and easily grow addicted to this sort of attention.

People who direct their anger inwards towards themselves, that wont stand up for themselves directly bcz they think feeling "anger" itself is wrong.

People who crave sexual validation and feel this is their only source of worth. Bcz its extremely easy to exploit you sexually for him then.

People who do have one or two traits that other people might find harder to accept. Be careful of people who are to "accepting" of smth someone else would likely judge you for or atleast be warry of, or have some sort of complex nuanced opinion on. He will hold it against you later, but also use it to tell you why no on else could ever put up with you. Hell, he might even use the shit he told you he accepts abt u that no one else does, as justification for abusing you.

You either trust very easily, which makes you an easy victim in his eyes or..

You find it difficult to trust others but once you do youve truly latched on and find it difficult to let go again. To him that can feel like a interesting challenge with a very high reward.

You look for a "rescuer" or someone who will "guide" you thru life. Which, its okay to desire that, or need to latch onto the idea of that being a thing. But it will make you incredibly vulnerable to this type of person. They will give you the rescuer you dreamt of. And then theyll take that rescuer the played for you from you and make you very hard to get a crumb of it back.

You associate being "strong" with the idea of being capable to put up with difficult, stressful, traumatic situations. He will bank on that. He will lovebomb you over it. Yes youre so strong, yes youre so kind, yes youre so perfect. No one but you would stand by me thru this, I promise ill change. (Hint : He wont.)

You have a guilt-complex. They look for ppl who are prone to feel guilty even over little things. ppl who have been trained to think when smth goes wrong its their fault.

You have abandonment fears. He will use this to dangle that threat over you and manipulate you with it as much as he can.

Resilence & internal strength. Capacity to look put together no matter what is going on. Used to trauma. Used to mask it. Used to show up smiling even though yesterday was hell. He wants someone he can break that never shows it, and never actually does break.

Someone with traits he specifically and individually admires - which can be an array of different possible traits - but feels threatened by, that he will later try to undermine and destroy.

[uncanny-tranny]

Man, as a trans guy and abuse survivor, whenever I see people saying the likes of, "lmao, men shouldn't be allowed in anything deemed 'women's healthcare'!" It just reminds me that - especially in healthcare - my safety and comfort will never matter so long as it continues to condradict people's preconceived notions of what constitutes people worthy of healthcare. It's just something I wish the well-meaning people who are rightfully frustrated with the state of healthcare would take a second to remember.

Yes, the healthcare system sucks and we must fix it. No, that doesn't mean we ought to leave behind people just because they challenge us on our own biases.

[irenetherogue]

Yes it absolutely was from lack of trying & also all his other abuse

[slowlyshamelesscolor]

To male victims of abuse

You are valid

Don't let others put you down just because you're a man.

You did not deserve to be abused; do not believe those who think you do.

You are wonderful, and you deserve a lot of love and good encouragement.

Don't let the Radfems get to you; they just want to promote negativity.

What happened to you matters. Don't believe people who say what happened to you is meaningless.

💙 You are amazing! and you deserve to be loved! :) 💙

[queerism1969]

[egalitarianchica]

Imagine calling yourself a psychologist and unironically Tweeting this. She claims that no woman or girl has committed rape because only forced penetration counts as rape (which is completely false) but even using that definition a woman can use fingers or a dildo to penetrate a man’s ass or a woman’s ass/vagina. Don’t say you care about rape survivors if you invalidate male victims or victims of female rapists.