#m34n$p0

[sm4lestspeckofdust]

wieiad

today i broke my 97 hr f4st with some alfredo, puff popcorn, and a rice cake w cream cheese for a total of 425 c4ls for the day :)

f00d details:

knorr brand creamy chicken alfredo: 220 c4l

+ milk: 65 c4l

+ parmasan: 20 c4l

puff popcorn: 60 c4l

rice cake: 35

cream cheese: 25

i left abt a quarter of the pasta, 4 pieces of puff corn, and a quarter of the rice cake but i’m still going to just count 425 to be safe :)

[being-the-dust]

Less food= Less weight. It IS that simple

Don't eat

[t00th-butter]

Worst things about fasting vs the worst things about being fat <3

- the headaches. the disgust people feel looking at you, looking at your rolls full of fat from years of binging

- feeling lightheaded. never being able to find any cute clothes when you go out shopping with your friends

- not thinking as fast as usual. the jiggle your thighs make as they rub together, fat inside of them.

- not being able to shit. all of your friends skinnier than you, playing games and sitting close to each other, while your fat oozes over and spills into the gaps.

Which one is really a sacrifice, when being skinny will make you happy? Food is nothing but an addiction.

[tw4na3d]

𝐇𝐨, 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐠?

[oxmaybemaevexo]

It’s already warm out and you’re still fat?

You think you have a few days or even weeks to eat whatever you want. Right? It’s only spring. A few buffer days before you finally start for your summer body? You know how to loose weight fast so you’ll just start soon

Wrong

What are you going to do when sweatshirts cant hide your body?

What are you going to do when you go to the beach?

What are you going to do when you see yourself in pictures?

When are you going to change things?

Start today. Start now. Before it’s too late.

[princesswiggles4evameow]

the choice is yours the choice is mine

[vxm1tcxre]

Lemme take a moment to deromanticize 3ds, if you don’t mind.

I have severe bul1m14. for years now, I have been trying to quit bping, only to get progressively worse as time has gone on- to the point where I get lucky if I make it through a single day without binging and pvrging once. On bad days, I will do so up to 5 times. Hell, I even have ever-so-slight bruising on my knees from spending so much time kneeling in front of bags and toilets, among countless other symptoms and places where my 3d has left it’s ugly mark.

Today was my birthday party. A celebration of my life. I had friends over. We visited a fun place in my city. They gave me gifts and we played games.

And did I get to enjoy it? Did I get to have fun with my friends and appreciate spending time with the people I love? Was it a good day? Will I remember it as such?

Of course not.

Like clockwork, I b1ng3d on the pizza and cupcakes my mom bought for me and my friends. I have consumed approximately 4800+ c4lories in a single day.

I have spent the last three hours after my friends went home locked in my room, trying to pvrge, but since I have abused my body so much, my gag reflex barely works. All I managed was to cough and choke up thick, viscous mucus and tiny chunks of pizza crust.

I am so full I can’t move without excruciating pain. I swear I can feel my bloated stomach pressing against my ribs, pushing them out. It feels like I’m about to explode. I want nothing more than to v0m1t- not only because I fear the weight gain, barely at this point. But because I am in such excruciating, unbearable pain and I just want this alien invader of carbs and sugar out of my damn body.

I have shoved an extension cord, the eraser end of a pencil, and the dirty toothbrush with bite marks on the handle from exclusively using it as my tool to pvrge because my fingers no longer suffice as far as they can possibly go down my throat to try and get some relief. Nothing.

I swallowed 3 heaping spoonfuls of baking soda and chugged seltzer water to try and give myself sodium poisoning.

I swallowed about 8 of my adhd pills and whatever antidepressants I had left, hoping they’d make me sick and push the food out of my stomach.

Nothing has worked. I am sitting in my bathroom, because I can’t lie down without acid flooding my esophagus, and praying that my stomach doesn’t burst open from the sheer volume of food I’ve shoved inside myself, begging the universe to not let me die.

I don’t want to die curled on the bathroom floor around my horrendously distended stomach, next to the scale I’m terrified to have to step on tomorrow morning. I don’t want my heartbroken parents to look through my things after I’m gone and find the bags of cold, rotten v0m1t hidden around my room.

Today was my fucking birthday party.

And instead of looking back fondly at this day, looking forward for things to come, I’m crying on my bathroom floor because I’m so fucking f4t and in so much pain I wish I could just sl1c3 my stomach open to remove a single ounce of the pressure against my insides.

But I can’t.

It will never stop.

I will never be able to enjoy days like these.

[sm4lestspeckofdust]

your morning sk1nny is someone else’s worst nightmare.

[being-the-dust]

A moodboard of m34nsp0 phrases I've found to motivate me!!

[t00th-butter]

I have this friend who loves to bodyshame me and call me fat

10/10 meansp0, like damn, I was about to break my 62 hour fast, thanks for reminding me why I shouldn’t!!!

[annnnwa]

DB part 2

[zeroultraaddict]

fit would’ve been fire if i wasn’t so damn big

[oxmaybemaevexo]

My birthday is coming up and I'm so big i cant even wear a dress. Im so mad at myself. Im miserable.

[belladarlinganas]

if filling my sp0 widget with angry looking pics of my celeb crushes isnt healthy then i dont want to be healthy 🫶 LIKE YES KING TELL ME HOW DISGUSTING I AM ‼️😫

[sm4lestspeckofdust]

౨ৎ pro 4n4 tip:

every time you get a cr4ving, do not give in. log each one you get throughout your day in your notes app and before bed calculate how many c4Is it is. you’ll be able to see how much f4tt3r you could have been today without self control.

[being-the-dust]

Fat is a choice and skinny a skill. Pick your struggle